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1
00:00:18,142 --> 00:00:19,228
Finally.
2
00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,317
Oh, no!
3
00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:28,779
Fernando!
4
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,448
Help me with my suitcases.
5
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,744
You better not be watching soccer.
6
00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:41,708
Oh, no!
7
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,378
No. No!
8
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,004
My fucking mother-in-law!
9
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:38,599
LOS ESPOOKYS
10
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,560
Hello, Father.
Hello, Mother.
11
00:01:43,477 --> 00:01:44,645
What's for breakfast?
12
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:45,731
Andrecito,
13
00:01:47,648 --> 00:01:48,774
what are you doing here?
14
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:52,154
-Did you sleep here?
-Yes, well... You win.
15
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,405
I will be your little
chocolate prince again,
16
00:01:54,488 --> 00:01:57,033
and I'll marry whoever you want.
17
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,912
Thanks, but we're no longer interested.
18
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:03,414
Your actions have consequences.
We can't adopt you all over again.
19
00:02:03,497 --> 00:02:05,834
You decided to leave
and be independent,
20
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,253
so go and be independent.
21
00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:12,174
-Well, now I want to be dependent.
-Ha!
22
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,801
Andr�s, it's time.
23
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,553
You're 30.
24
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:21,390
Well...
25
00:02:22,266 --> 00:02:24,685
there's no reason to say hurtful things.
26
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:33,695
Do you think that, as a result of
the current political climate,
27
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,657
there is an unfair expectation
on female authors
28
00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:41,827
to have protagonists that are strong
and likable women?
29
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,287
No.
30
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,206
As the critically acclaimed author
of Don Quixote,
31
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,209
One Hundred Years of Solitude,
and your book,
32
00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:50,294
I think that the world is full
of stories, stories that I find.
33
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,964
Excuse me for interrupting, but
34
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:57,553
why do you have that little bell,
and why are you dressed like that?
35
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,179
-I'm a woman of letters.
-Oh.
36
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:03,183
The real question is why was
she invited to this conference?
37
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,519
This is not Tati's fault.
It's the organization's fault.
38
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,980
I believe I'm well respected.
39
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,647
Tati, you are not an author.
40
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:10,941
But I write books.
41
00:03:11,023 --> 00:03:12,358
Tati, Tati!
42
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,694
You don't write books.
43
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,863
You take books that other people wrote
and take credit for them,
44
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,658
including authors on this very panel
45
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:24,371
who have fought hard creating art
from our pain and struggle.
46
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,914
But, I wrote the books.
47
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,834
No, Tati, you didn't write the books.
48
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:32,420
Do you understand the difference between
creating something that is your own
49
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:35,799
and transcribing something
that someone else created?
50
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,510
Do you understand the difference, Tati?
51
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:39,678
Do you understand?
52
00:03:40,928 --> 00:03:41,889
Tati?
53
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:49,521
Come on, team! Tati needs our help!
We have to figure this out.
54
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,188
Come on! Stop playing!
55
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,408
Three... two... one.
56
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:05,244
Okay, I understand.
57
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:08,039
That's life.
Respect is earned, not stolen.
58
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,291
Thank you very much.
59
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,152
-You all live here together?
-Yes.
60
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,489
After the pageant, we realized
we had become great friends
61
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:43,659
and made beautiful memories
we'll never forget,
62
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:46,537
so we decided to move in together.
63
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,581
We haven't spent a day apart
since the pageant.
64
00:04:54,126 --> 00:04:56,380
Girls! Meeting!
65
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,282
Well...
66
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,701
I came here to ask
what you remember from
67
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:29,621
the night Karina was crowned
68
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,332
and later found dead on stage?
69
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:38,963
To me... well, in my opinion,
it's a very sad memory.
70
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,883
Did anyone else get sad?
71
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:46,346
Karina was crowned
Nuestra Belleza Latina
72
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,640
and suddenly there was a blackout.
73
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,934
When the lights came back on,
Karina was dead
74
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,729
with an anchor through her chest.
75
00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:58,774
But, did any of you see when
the anchor went through her chest?
76
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:00,151
No.
77
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,529
And you're sure she's dead?
78
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,156
Yes, 100%.
79
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:08,159
If she wasn't dead,
she'd be here with us.
80
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,914
But her coffin was buried empty.
81
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:15,375
Yeah, but what celebrity
doesn't have a decoy coffin?
82
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:16,709
Let me guess...
83
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,380
you're being haunted
by Karina's ghost.
84
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:25,010
You're like the fourth guy to come here
because of that.
85
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:29,347
I think Karina just loves interacting
with her fans.
86
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,389
I'm sorry, but...
87
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,768
we can't help you.
88
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:37,314
No, it's okay. Thank you. I think...
89
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:41,192
maybe I read too much into it.
90
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,240
Yes, Miss Panama?
91
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,203
Nothing. I forgot.
92
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,163
Miss Panama, are you okay?
93
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,539
Have you been taking your vitamins?
94
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:56,582
No.
95
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,627
They're too big.
96
00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,546
Maybe, after this meeting,
97
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:06,217
Miss Peru can crush them up for me.
She knows how I like them.
98
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:11,139
Okay. Well, thank you
for letting me talk with you.
99
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,266
You're all very cool.
100
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:19,606
Hey...
101
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,943
do you think you could...
I mean, if it's okay...
102
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:26,821
sign my album?
103
00:07:35,871 --> 00:07:41,712
Hello, Renaldo. My name is Isabel.
I'm an actor. An actor seeking help...
104
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:47,759
I've been doing this show for 37 years.
105
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:52,014
I've made a lot of loyal fans
over the years.
106
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:54,224
Like my dad.
Damn.
107
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,142
I miss him every day.
108
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,229
But my soul has been
destroyed by this show.
109
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:04,108
I play a lady who nags,
110
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:08,238
who throws away her son-in-law's beer,
hits him with an umbrella,
111
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,324
and stands in front of his TV.
112
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:14,244
Every. Single.
113
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,454
Episode.
114
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:20,751
Sometimes I throw his bikini girl
calendar into the garbage,
115
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:25,172
but most of the time
I just stand in front of his TV.
116
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,007
It's humiliating,
117
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,385
but the network owns my soul.
118
00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,346
I signed a life-long contract,
119
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,432
which at first seemed like a good idea,
120
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,895
but then I realized
how long a life can be.
121
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:44,191
I need you guys to free me
by getting the show cancelled...
122
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:48,069
with something spooky, I suppose.
123
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,323
Yeah. We'll do this.
124
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,326
I'll do this... for my dad.
125
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,955
Imagine signing a life-long contract.
126
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,460
And what's up?
Have you heard from Andr�s?
127
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,628
No, not about the gig.
128
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:10,591
He called me to ask if I could kick Tati
out so he can stay in her room again.
129
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,887
Can you guys keep it down please?
130
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,347
I feel bad.
131
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,684
Maybe I can find a place for him
to sleep at my place.
132
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:23,188
No, the little prince is going to have
to figure this out on his own.
133
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:26,149
Guys, please. Keep it down.
I'm working.
134
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,650
Are you still writing your books?
135
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,821
No, I stopped doing that when
I learned a very valuable lesson.
136
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:34,282
Now I work for DHL.
I come up with tracking numbers.
137
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,366
Cool.
138
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,827
What happened to the Tati Editions?
139
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:42,540
When I was at the Women in
Literature conference, they said...
140
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,043
Uhh... Well, they explained to me that...
141
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,339
The books were already there...
142
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,507
And Tati...
143
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,218
Well...
144
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,805
They wrote the books...
145
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:58,974
and I'm Tati...
146
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,102
So the books...
147
00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:23,540
How about this one?
148
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,584
It's pink, and it has a nice boxy fit.
149
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,462
And it'll show your cleavage.
150
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:31,130
And that's exactly
why you have this job.
151
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:34,550
I'll be bringing you with me when
I become the Ambassador to Miami.
152
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,969
Now, all that I need is for
the election to go our way.
153
00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:39,472
God, it's already 4 p.m.
154
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,682
I've been up since noon.
155
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:41,849
Let's hurry up and get out of here.
156
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,477
Happy Friday.
157
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:44,603
Yay!
158
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:47,188
What did Melanie mean
159
00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:50,108
by the election going our way?
160
00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:53,444
OK, wow. You said that perfectly.
161
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:56,447
What Melanie meant is that
the Secretary of State is coming
162
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,783
to make sure
that we're all doing our part
163
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:02,371
in tipping the election in favor of
the current US-friendly president
164
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:06,667
who's gonna do a lot of cool things
like privatizing water
165
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,460
or buying weapons from us...
166
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,379
Or creating two to three
tasteful little wars
167
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,173
that we will profit from...
168
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:17,426
Stuff that will defend our flag
and honor the Constitution.
169
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,272
I thought this was an Andr�s thing.
170
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,732
No, it's a me thing.
171
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,860
But we are inside of his head.
172
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:37,113
Listen to me,
173
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,784
the U.S. Embassy
is making pro-establishment
174
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,829
propaganda to help get
the President reelected.
175
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,873
Of course.
176
00:11:57,843 --> 00:12:00,846
Aww. What a joy they must have had
on Ash Wednesday.
177
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,681
Andr�s Valdez,
178
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,348
why are you back in my life?
179
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,600
Juan Carlos,
180
00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:10,147
congratulations,
today is your lucky day.
181
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,816
You see, I've run out of options,
182
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:17,029
so I've decided to hit rock bottom
by having sex with my ex.
183
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:18,614
Hmm...
184
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,657
I'm not interested.
185
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,075
But imagine,
186
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,370
just you and me...
187
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:29,124
revisiting every little fight we had
188
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,002
during our horrible
five-year relationship.
189
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:35,923
No, Andr�s. No.
190
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,133
-Yes, Andr�s.
-No.
191
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,176
After our breakup and my divorce,
192
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,679
I realized that what I'm attracted to...
193
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,139
is status,
194
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:47,768
and you have none.
195
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,060
Not anymore.
196
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:53,606
I'm going to my room to masturbate
with a big, cold Rolex.
197
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:55,816
You know where the exit is.
198
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,569
I, I,
199
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,363
I have a Rolex.
200
00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:14,127
Hi, Melanie.
201
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,755
How did you find me?
My location is classified.
202
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,631
You went live on Instagram.
203
00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:26,473
Ambassador Melanie,
I know what you're doing,
204
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,808
and it's in your best interest to stop.
205
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:29,934
Is that a threat?
206
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,896
You need to stop manipulating voters
with your propaganda.
207
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,772
Or else what?
208
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,153
How did you get this?
209
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,949
If you don't stop,
everyone will see this.
210
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,827
It was a different time.
211
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,247
We didn't know any better.
We didn't know what we know now.
212
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,165
I am not this person anymore.
213
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,709
Are you ready for the world to see this?
214
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:59,964
It comes a time in every patriot's life
where you have to make a sacrifice.
215
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:03,092
You know, when I took this job,
I made a vow to destabilize
216
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:06,178
any nation and to further
American interests.
217
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:10,017
So I'll be damned if a photo
of me wearing a dress over jeans
218
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,562
will threaten America from being
a beacon of hope and change.
219
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,105
So release the photo.
220
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:17,815
I'll send you a postcard
from Miami, bitch.
221
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,242
Does it fit?
222
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:34,291
Umm, yes, over my neck
and left ankle.
223
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,501
I'm so glad you like it.
224
00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:39,795
Maybe you can tell your friends
225
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,923
so that they know I can
make dresses for them, too.
226
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:45,344
I was thinking of starting
my own clothing line, Tico's.
227
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:46,803
Wow.
228
00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:50,974
Well, take lots of photos
in your dress at the party.
229
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,060
And have a good time with that
friend of yours who makes all
230
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,812
those hurtful comments that stay
with you the rest of your life.
231
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:58,232
Yeah, umm...
232
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,901
I think I'm going
to take the dress in a bag,
233
00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:03,152
and change into it once I get there.
234
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:08,408
Right,
a bag to protect it along the way.
235
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,868
Yes, Uncle, to protect it.
236
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:16,124
I already bought ticosboutique.com,
so you better make some money fast.
237
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,059
Hi.
238
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,192
Madame Secretary! Over here! Please!
Look here!
239
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,236
American Ambassador
Melanie Gibbons.
240
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,114
Secretary of State Kimberly Reynolds!
241
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,949
Get over here, you slut!
242
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,616
-Melanie!
-It's fine.
243
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:54,454
They don't understand what we're saying.
We still don't know what they speak.
244
00:15:54,538 --> 00:15:55,747
Hi!
245
00:15:57,583 --> 00:16:00,126
-I got you this.
-You bitch!
246
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:05,757
Again, thank you all
so much for having us...
247
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,802
Was I supposed to wear a hijab?
248
00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:10,636
Oh, no, that's not here.
249
00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:12,597
OK. So,
250
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:16,602
I personally believe that
if both of our countries
251
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:19,520
continue working together,
it's gonna lead to prosperity
252
00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:21,772
for both of our beautiful nations.
253
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:25,026
The United States is
a very important ally.
254
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,821
Yeah, which is why
we are gonna make sure we do
255
00:16:27,905 --> 00:16:31,532
everything we can to maintain
this critical relationship.
256
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,828
Now, I'm not here
to tell you who to vote for,
257
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,080
but I've heard some pretty nasty things
258
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,124
about De La Guardia's opponent.
259
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:42,585
So just remember that
a vote for De La Guardia
260
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,338
is a vote for the US.
261
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:48,258
-Wait... no, yeah.
-No, that was right. That's right.
262
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,594
Yes. Hot.
263
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:53,429
America looked amazing!
264
00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:55,557
Yeah, seriously, I was
so proud to be an American.
265
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,392
-Thank you for that.
-Me, too.
266
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:02,647
Knock, knock! Who's there?
It's me, Kimberly.
267
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:06,276
Krissy, JJ, why don't you go
staple some stuff outside?
268
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:09,445
Yeah, we'll go staple some stuff outside.
269
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,405
You're incredible!
270
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,700
I've been a huge fan since...
271
00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:18,037
That was so good, Melanie.
272
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,622
We lose a lot of stuff
273
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,417
when we don't attach
documents to each other.
274
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,461
Alright, so you wanted to talk to me?
275
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:28,674
Yes. So, as you know,
276
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,134
I've been working here,
advancing American interests
277
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,677
for almost a year now.
278
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,012
I put myself on the line,
279
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,558
I take bullets for our flag.
280
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:39,643
And I really think that
our relationship here
281
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,394
would not be the same without me.
282
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,397
So... I was wondering...
283
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,650
if I could transfer to the Miami Embassy!
284
00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:53,739
Melanie, we are obsessed with you.
285
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:57,828
We love, love, love
the work that you're doing.
286
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:05,251
However, we've looked into this,
and it turns out
287
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:09,213
that there is no
American Embassy in Miami.
288
00:18:10,549 --> 00:18:13,010
I know it doesn't look like it
if you look at the map,
289
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,428
but once you zoom out,
290
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:20,683
you will that see that Miami
is actually in the US.
291
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:24,854
They're connected,
which we were all really surprised by.
292
00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:29,233
Miami is in the US.
293
00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:30,276
Yep.
294
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,196
-Alright, girl, so good to see you!
-Yeah.
295
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,617
-Bye.
-Bye.
296
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:50,255
Those fuckers.
They think they can fuck with me.
297
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:55,219
Let's see who they're
actually fucking with.
298
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:58,597
Fernando,
299
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,514
what are you waiting for?
300
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,184
I need you to give me a foot massage.
301
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,820
Be careful with the bunions!
302
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:22,703
Hey, what happened?
303
00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:25,331
I'm a virus,
304
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:28,877
and I'm going to infectall of your computers and phones
305
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,213
if you don't cancel Mi Puta Suegra.
306
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:34,758
I think Mi Puta Suegra
is in its best season yet,
307
00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:38,428
so you should cancel it now so that
it ends on a high note, like
308
00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:39,763
The Big Bang Theory."
309
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,516
No, no. I disagree.
310
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,685
I think we just hit our stride.
311
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,104
The show will only get better.
312
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,063
We should make more seasons.
313
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:51,483
Besides, I'm not afraid
because my computer
314
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:54,319
is well-protected with Norton Anti-virus.
315
00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:55,863
Listen to the virus!
316
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,574
We can't expose our devices.
317
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:00,909
Well, I have a Mac, so I'm not worried.
318
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,452
Ooh. The Mac boy isn't worried
319
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:05,038
because if he has a problem,
he'll just call Steve Jobs.
320
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:09,459
The fate of your devicesis in your hands. Goodbye.
321
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,381
No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
322
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,133
For the well-being of our devices,
323
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,927
we're going to cancel Mi Puta Suegra.
324
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,761
Oh, no! What a shame.
325
00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:23,431
But I think it's for the best.
326
00:20:23,849 --> 00:20:24,932
It's for the best.
327
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,729
Sorry, I don't understand.
So we're like hackers now?
328
00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:31,022
Andr�s, you weren't here
when we planned this.
329
00:20:31,106 --> 00:20:32,900
You can't come at the last minute
and expect things to go your way
330
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:35,027
without having done anything.
331
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,528
Yes, yes, yes.
I hear what you're saying but
332
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:40,948
that doesn't change the fact
that this is very mediocre.
333
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:45,328
I was talking about the concept,
not the acting. Jeez.
334
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:48,874
Playing Mi Puta Suegra
335
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,503
has been the greatest honor of my life.
336
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,961
This is my home.
337
00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:55,339
This is my family.
338
00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,798
And to you, my dear fans,
339
00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:01,094
it has been a privilege
340
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:07,016
coming into your living rooms
for 37 years.
341
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,437
Help me say it one more time.
342
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,942
Get off the couch,
you drunk, and come give
343
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:19,445
your fucking mother-in-law
a foot massage.
344
00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:23,492
Thank you.
345
00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:25,035
Thank you.
346
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:26,744
Goodbye.
347
00:21:27,371 --> 00:21:28,621
Goodbye.
348
00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:36,755
Please don't ever make any
artistic decisions without me.
349
00:21:36,839 --> 00:21:41,384
I don't mean to be rude,
but you guys have bad taste.
350
00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:43,011
He's right.
351
00:21:48,683 --> 00:21:50,310
Where did you learn that?
352
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:52,187
I took private lessons.
353
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,315
Oh, and I was thinking,
354
00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:57,651
I should get more money than you guys
355
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,610
because my lifestyle is more expensive.
356
00:21:59,695 --> 00:22:01,445
Andr�s, you're a spoiled little brat.
357
00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:03,699
You whine and take, and take, and take
358
00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:05,116
without doing any work.
359
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,287
You couldn't even keep your staircase
modeling job for more than a week.
360
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:12,164
You weren't at the meeting.
You complain about working.
361
00:22:12,249 --> 00:22:13,834
You always look for the easy way out.
362
00:22:13,916 --> 00:22:17,171
You think you can have everything
you want, just because,
363
00:22:17,254 --> 00:22:18,963
but that ends now.
364
00:22:19,047 --> 00:22:21,592
And no, we're not going
to give you more money,
365
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:25,304
and no, l you can't stay with me
or Renaldo.
366
00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:29,224
-But you can stay with us.
-Tati, I swear to God.
367
00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:31,268
well...
368
00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:34,354
I guess the only thing
left for me is to...
369
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:37,024
go into exile.
370
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,776
Oh God. Please.
371
00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:46,574
Damn. That was rough,
372
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:50,411
but I guess one day he's going to have
to learn to do things for himself.
373
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:52,372
Don't worry. He'll be fine.
374
00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:54,541
There are valves.
375
00:22:56,751 --> 00:23:00,296
Yeah, Tati. There are valves.
376
00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:20,294
No one wishes on me.
377
00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:23,462
No one wants me to be part
of their constellation.
378
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:25,381
I'm always left out.
379
00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:27,342
Bye.
It was so good to see you guys.
380
00:24:27,425 --> 00:24:30,303
I promise we'll see each other again
in 70 years.
381
00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:32,973
Don't worry. Miss me.
382
00:24:39,521 --> 00:24:41,230
Damn Andr�s.
383
00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:55,036
What's up?
384
00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,626
How'd it go with the dress
Uncle Tico made?
385
00:25:00,709 --> 00:25:03,253
Mmm... so so.
386
00:25:05,047 --> 00:25:06,547
Poor Uncle Tico.
387
00:25:06,632 --> 00:25:11,345
Come give your fucking mother-in-lawa foot massage.
388
00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:35,451
Mi Puta Suegra is over.
389
00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:45,003
Dad,
390
00:25:45,796 --> 00:25:48,382
I can't believe you left your room.
391
00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:51,009
It's just...
392
00:25:51,384 --> 00:25:53,303
there's so much I've wanted
to talk to you about
393
00:25:53,386 --> 00:25:56,390
and ask you all these years.
394
00:25:56,473 --> 00:25:59,017
Me, too! My whole life.
395
00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:01,727
Well...
396
00:26:02,437 --> 00:26:05,481
one time on Mi Puta Suegra,
397
00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:10,737
the fucking mother-in-law
took her son-in-law's beer
398
00:26:10,821 --> 00:26:12,947
and poured it all over him
right after he opened it,
399
00:26:13,030 --> 00:26:14,824
and told him,
400
00:26:14,908 --> 00:26:17,870
"Get off the couch
401
00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:22,791
and come give your fucking
mother-in-law a foot massage."
402
00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:29,922
What an awful woman.
403
00:26:32,926 --> 00:26:37,848
I don't know what I'll do with my life
now that the show is over.
404
00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:41,142
It'll be okay, Dad.
I bet there will be reruns.
405
00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:42,393
Reruns?
406
00:26:42,476 --> 00:26:43,604
Yeah.
407
00:27:03,331 --> 00:27:04,290
Hi.
408
00:27:07,752 --> 00:27:10,546
Are you the goth guy that came
to the house the other day?
409
00:27:10,630 --> 00:27:12,173
Yes.
410
00:27:12,257 --> 00:27:14,593
Well, in that case,
411
00:27:14,676 --> 00:27:17,262
I have to tell you something
important, something private.
412
00:27:17,345 --> 00:27:19,263
The other girls can't know.
413
00:27:19,722 --> 00:27:21,599
If you see Karina again,
414
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:24,269
can you ask her to return
my blue Zara sweater?
415
00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,479
I let her borrow it,
and she never gave it back.
416
00:27:26,562 --> 00:27:29,857
I think she left it at the house
of that rich and powerful man
417
00:27:29,941 --> 00:27:31,400
she was having an affair with
418
00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:34,362
who said he would
kill her after the pageant
419
00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,447
if she ever went public
about their affair.
420
00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:38,075
That's all. Bye.
421
00:27:41,537 --> 00:27:42,788
What?
422
00:27:44,665 --> 00:27:47,459
Blue Zara sweater.
It's so cold.
423
00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:56,134
Karina.
424
00:27:56,184 --> 00:28:00,734
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