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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,099 ("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) 2 00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,601 ANNOUNCER: And now, "I Love Lucy." 3 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,870 (applause) 4 00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:44,577 (sighs) 5 00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:49,082 Oh, Ricky, Paris-- isn't it wonderful? 6 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,083 You happy? 7 00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:52,052 I haven't a worry in the world. 8 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,553 That's good. 9 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,554 FRED: Mademoiselle from marmatish 10 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,056 She hasn't been kissed in 40 years 11 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,058 Inky dinky parlez vous, dum-dum. 12 00:00:58,558 --> 00:00:59,976 (all laughing) 13 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,978 Quite a village, eh, Rick? 14 00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,229 Isn't it great, Fred? 15 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,014 Lucy, I'm so excited, 16 00:01:05,014 --> 00:01:06,516 I don't think I can stand it. 17 00:01:06,516 --> 00:01:07,517 LUCY: Oh... What a town. 18 00:01:08,017 --> 00:01:09,018 Hasn't changed a bit. 19 00:01:09,018 --> 00:01:11,988 Everything is exactly the same as it was in 1918. 20 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:13,356 Present company excepted. 21 00:01:13,356 --> 00:01:14,607 Yeah. 22 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:15,992 Listen, Fred, 23 00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:18,495 I have to see my French agent today, 24 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:19,746 so you can take the day off. 25 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,081 A day off in Paris? 26 00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:22,582 Hot ziggedy! 27 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,585 You are coming on a sightseeing tour 28 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:26,586 with Lucy and me. 29 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,455 Cold ziggedy. 30 00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:31,458 No, Ethel, you and Fred take that tour. 31 00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:32,959 What are you going to do? 32 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,461 Oh, I kind of want to get off by myself-- 33 00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,963 you know, feel the pulse of the city, 34 00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:38,765 get the true flavor of Paris. 35 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,684 Well, you can't go running around Paris all by yourself. 36 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,436 Why not? What about your French? 37 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:45,138 What about my French? 38 00:01:45,588 --> 00:01:48,091 Well, Paris is a big city, and not knowing the language, 39 00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:49,592 you're liable to get into a lot of trouble. 40 00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:51,928 Oh, poo. When you first came to the United States, 41 00:01:51,928 --> 00:01:53,429 you didn't get into a lot of trouble 44 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,352 What? 45 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,689 She told me that "I do" meant "Pleased to meet you." 46 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,507 And then she introduced me 47 00:02:04,507 --> 00:02:06,509 to the preacher. 48 00:02:06,509 --> 00:02:09,012 Just a minute, just a minute. 49 00:02:09,012 --> 00:02:10,013 What are you doing? 50 00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:12,015 I'm looking up the French for... 51 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,885 While you're at it, look up "I am lost. 52 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,637 Take me to the Royal Hotel." 53 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,507 Oh, now, honey, what can happen? How can I get lost? 54 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:21,508 I have my French dictionary, 55 00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:24,010 I have my guidebook, I have my map of Paris. 56 00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:25,512 Don't try to fight it, Rick. 57 00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:28,014 Just call the American Embassy and tell them to stand by. 58 00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:30,483 All right, but be careful, honey, eh? 59 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,485 I will. Don't worry about me. 60 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:33,353 Just give me some money. 61 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:34,854 All right. 62 00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:36,856 I think I'll just wander around, and who knows? 63 00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:38,825 I may discover an undiscovered artist 64 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,327 whose paintings have never been discovered. 65 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,329 Sure, sure, you do that, yeah. 66 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,831 Well, now, that's possible. 67 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,333 I read about a man who bought a painting for $2.98, 68 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,170 and ten years later, it was worth $50,000. 69 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,790 Well! well, get me two dozen. 70 00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:55,074 Here. Here's 20 bucks. 71 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,076 Take this to the American Express office 72 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,078 and they'll give you 7,000 francs. 73 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,581 7,000 francs? Wow! 74 00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:05,084 I like this better than English money. 75 00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:07,086 It's the same in dollars. 76 00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:08,888 Oh, I know, but it sounds like more. 77 00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:09,756 Okay. 78 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:10,974 Be careful now. I will. 79 00:03:11,474 --> 00:03:12,475 Have a good time on your sightseeing tour. 80 00:03:12,475 --> 00:03:13,476 So long, Rick. 81 00:03:13,476 --> 00:03:14,477 See you later, honey. 82 00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:15,979 Bye. See you later. 83 00:03:15,979 --> 00:03:17,480 We'll go down to the Express office with you, Lucy. 84 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:18,982 I want to change some money 85 00:03:18,982 --> 00:03:20,233 and pick up the mail. Okay. 86 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:21,935 Well, Fred, I can't go looking like this. 87 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,136 Why not? 88 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:25,755 Well, look at my hair. 89 00:03:25,755 --> 00:03:27,340 What's the matter? It looks all right to me. 90 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,726 It's up in curlers! 91 00:03:29,726 --> 00:03:32,395 Isn't that the way you always wear it? 92 00:03:32,395 --> 00:03:35,398 No, that's not the way I always wear it! 93 00:03:35,398 --> 00:03:37,901 We'll see you down at the Express office later, honey. 94 00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:38,902 Okay. Bye. 95 00:03:38,902 --> 00:03:40,019 Bye. 96 00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:55,501 It is pretty. It is pretty. 97 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,009 Pardon. 98 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,011 C'est joli. 99 00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:09,015 Le painting... c'est joli. 100 00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,017 Oh, thank you very much. 101 00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:14,354 Oh, uh, you speak English. 102 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,189 A little. 103 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,190 Oh. 104 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,692 Are you famous? 105 00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,527 Not yet. 106 00:04:25,982 --> 00:04:27,984 Don't go away. I'll be right back. 107 00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:31,454 Psst. 108 00:04:32,455 --> 00:04:33,239 Psst. 109 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,244 Who, me? 110 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,752 Madame is... uh... 111 00:04:46,502 --> 00:04:47,804 Madame is going in there 112 00:04:47,804 --> 00:04:49,639 to exchange American currency, n'est-ce pas? 113 00:04:49,639 --> 00:04:51,341 Oui. 114 00:04:51,341 --> 00:04:54,143 Ah, ha. There is no need for madame 115 00:04:54,143 --> 00:04:56,145 to go all that way in there. 116 00:04:56,145 --> 00:04:57,647 I can do it for you right here. 117 00:04:57,647 --> 00:04:58,648 Oh? 118 00:04:58,648 --> 00:05:00,149 And, besides, in there, 119 00:05:00,149 --> 00:05:04,153 they give you only 350 francs for a dollar. 120 00:05:05,154 --> 00:05:07,907 I can give you 450. 121 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,193 Well... (chuckles) 122 00:05:10,193 --> 00:05:11,911 gee, it's lucky I met you. 123 00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:13,746 Ah, Oui. 124 00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:16,249 I see madame has there a 20 dollar. 125 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,251 Yes. I can give you, uh... 126 00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:20,586 9,000 francs. 127 00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:23,423 Oh, well, uh, just a second. 128 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:25,425 How come you can give me more 129 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:27,293 than the American Express can? 130 00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:30,263 Ah. Well, madame, it is very simple. 131 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,764 You see there this big building? 132 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:33,766 Yeah. They pay high rent. 133 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:36,269 I work out of doors, hmm? 134 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:39,105 As you Americans say, no overhead. 135 00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:41,974 Oh... oh, well, that makes sense. 136 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,476 Okay. 137 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,146 Oh, merci. 138 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,148 Merci, madame. Au revoir. 139 00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:51,567 Oh, uh, I have some friends meeting me here, 140 00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:53,953 and I'm quite sure they'd like to exchange their money, too. 141 00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:56,255 Ah, bon, madame, bon. 142 00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:57,223 Bon? 143 00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:58,224 Bon. 144 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,226 Bon. 145 00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,228 Oh, bon! 146 00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:03,730 C'est tres bon. 147 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,231 Ah! 148 00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:06,733 Evidemment, madame parle et comprend 149 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:07,734 beaucoup de francais. 150 00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:10,103 Huh? 151 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:12,605 Evidemment, madame parle et comprend 152 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:13,906 beaucoup de francais. 153 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:16,192 Well, there you are. 154 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:22,031 I just said, "Evidently, madame speaks 155 00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:24,367 and understands a great deal of French." 156 00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:26,335 Oh, I do, I do. 157 00:06:26,335 --> 00:06:27,336 Oui, oui. 158 00:06:27,336 --> 00:06:29,622 Madame, madame, au revoir. 159 00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,791 Oh, but my friends aren't here yet. 160 00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:33,426 Yes, I know, madame, but, uh... 161 00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,428 I just remembered an appointment... 162 00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,213 whoa, on the other side of town. 163 00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:38,014 Au revoir. 164 00:06:38,514 --> 00:06:39,515 Oh. 165 00:06:46,522 --> 00:06:47,807 Oh, hi, honey. Hi. 166 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:49,192 Hi, Fred, you just missed it. 167 00:06:49,192 --> 00:06:51,694 I met the most wonderful man, and he changed my money 168 00:06:51,694 --> 00:06:53,946 and gave me 450 francs for each dollar. 169 00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,731 A hundred extra francs for every buck? 170 00:06:55,731 --> 00:06:56,732 Yeah. Where is the guy? 171 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:57,733 He's gone. Where is he? 172 00:06:58,234 --> 00:06:58,734 Oh. Will he be back? 173 00:06:59,235 --> 00:06:59,986 I don't know. 174 00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:01,154 Look, I'll give you half of mine. 175 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,122 Here, you give me $10, 176 00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:06,125 I'll give you... 4,500 francs. 177 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,126 Oh, here, thanks, Lucy. 178 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,128 Oh, that's awful sweet of you, honey. 179 00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:10,129 That's all right. Thank you. 180 00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:11,130 Come on, we'll go and get the mail. 181 00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,131 We'll see you later. 182 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:13,132 Thanks again. 183 00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:14,634 Okay. Have a good time. 184 00:07:25,728 --> 00:07:28,231 That certainly is joli. 185 00:07:28,731 --> 00:07:29,732 Thank you. 186 00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:33,236 How much do you want for it? 187 00:07:33,236 --> 00:07:35,738 Oh, I never sell my paintings. 188 00:07:35,738 --> 00:07:37,740 You never sell them? 189 00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:39,242 No... never. 190 00:07:39,742 --> 00:07:43,246 I could not sell my paintings. 191 00:07:43,246 --> 00:07:44,747 You see, they are a part of me. 192 00:07:44,747 --> 00:07:46,749 I could not sell a picture 193 00:07:46,749 --> 00:07:51,254 any more than I could sell... my arm. 194 00:07:51,254 --> 00:07:53,756 Well... if you never sell your paintings, 195 00:07:53,756 --> 00:07:56,259 how do you expect to be discovered? 196 00:07:56,759 --> 00:07:59,262 It is always the same. 197 00:07:59,262 --> 00:08:03,266 When I die, then I will be discovered. 198 00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:10,773 Look... I just have to have one of your paintings. 199 00:08:11,274 --> 00:08:13,776 I'll give you 500 francs for that. 200 00:08:13,776 --> 00:08:16,279 Oh... oh, I'm sorry, madame. 201 00:08:16,779 --> 00:08:19,782 This picture is... my life. 202 00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:23,786 It took me three years to paint. 203 00:08:23,786 --> 00:08:25,705 600 Francs? 204 00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:31,711 Sell three years of my life for 600 francs? 205 00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:33,996 700? 206 00:08:33,996 --> 00:08:37,133 Madame, I told you, no. 207 00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:43,055 I think I would turn down even a... a thousand francs. 208 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:44,840 A thousand. 209 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,425 Oh, I'll take it. 210 00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:49,679 Oh, oh, well, thank you very much. 211 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:52,181 Oh, that's wonderful. 212 00:08:52,181 --> 00:08:54,183 Be very careful with it, madame. 213 00:08:54,183 --> 00:08:56,185 Oh, I will. You see, it is still wet. 214 00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:58,187 Yes, yes, I will. I'll go right to the hotel with it. 215 00:08:58,688 --> 00:08:59,689 Oh, thank you so much. 216 00:08:59,689 --> 00:09:00,690 By the way, what is your name? 217 00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:02,608 Pierre Charpentier. 218 00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:05,111 Pierre Charpentier. 219 00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:07,613 You see, after you die and become famous, 220 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,115 I want to be able to tell my friends 221 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,116 that I discovered you, 222 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:14,620 and that I have an original Charpentier. 223 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,506 Well, it's been awfully nice discovering you, Pierre. 224 00:09:17,506 --> 00:09:20,209 Oh, it was wonderful being discovered. 225 00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:21,010 Au revoir. 226 00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:22,261 Au revoir. 227 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:26,933 (chuckling) 228 00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:58,664 Come on, Fred. 229 00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,166 We don't want to miss that sightseeing bus. 230 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,167 I'm coming. 231 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:04,670 I told him not to forward these Christmas cards. 232 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,007 Just a minute, Fred. 233 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:11,237 Bonjour, madame. 234 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:12,688 Bonjour. 235 00:11:12,688 --> 00:11:14,690 Comment allez-vous? 236 00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:16,692 Je vais bien. 237 00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:19,078 Voulez-vous prendre cette table-ci? 238 00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:20,579 Il fait tres beau aujourd'hui. 239 00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:21,580 Vous etes tres bien. 240 00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,082 Parfaitement bien. Je vous en prie. 241 00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,083 Merci. 242 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,868 Notre menu, madame. 243 00:11:25,868 --> 00:11:27,086 Merci. 244 00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:29,038 Je reviens tout de suite avec le vin 245 00:11:29,038 --> 00:11:30,539 dans une seconde. 246 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,605 Pardon. 247 00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:49,358 Votre vin, madame. 248 00:11:53,562 --> 00:11:55,064 Come on over, folks. 249 00:11:55,564 --> 00:12:00,069 And here we have a typical Parisian sidewalk cafe. 250 00:12:00,069 --> 00:12:02,571 Oh, there are hundreds of little out-of-the-way 251 00:12:02,571 --> 00:12:05,074 cafe houses like this in the suburbs, 252 00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:09,078 but here you see only the true native Frenchmen. 253 00:12:09,578 --> 00:12:11,580 Hear that? "True native Frenchmen." 254 00:12:14,583 --> 00:12:15,584 Lucy! 255 00:12:16,085 --> 00:12:17,086 Hi. 256 00:12:17,086 --> 00:12:18,554 Lucy? 257 00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:20,506 It's a small world, isn't it? 258 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:21,390 Yeah. 259 00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:24,226 Pardonnez-moi, touristes? 260 00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,513 Tourists? 261 00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:30,816 Je ne comprends English. 262 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:33,152 You do, too, comprend English. 263 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,154 Pardon, madame. Pardon, madame et monsieur. 264 00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:37,156 No individual sightseeing. 265 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:38,657 Oh, she's a friend of mine. 266 00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:40,659 No, but I'm sorry, your bus is ready to leave. 267 00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:42,161 Allez! Allez! 268 00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,829 Allez, allez, allez. 269 00:12:46,248 --> 00:12:49,001 Les Americains, huh! 270 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:51,754 Les Americains, huh. 271 00:12:51,754 --> 00:12:54,256 Les Americains. 272 00:12:54,256 --> 00:12:56,258 Madame, avez-vous choisi? 273 00:12:56,258 --> 00:13:00,763 Uh... it is very difficile to choose here. 274 00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,264 Oui, madame. 275 00:13:02,765 --> 00:13:04,767 Permettez-moi de recommander 276 00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:07,269 les tripes a la mode de Caen. 277 00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,772 Tripes... non, non, non. 278 00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:10,773 Non. 279 00:13:11,273 --> 00:13:13,275 Ah, madame, alors, je vous suggere 280 00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:15,277 la specialite de le maison. 281 00:13:15,277 --> 00:13:16,779 Des escargots de Bourgogne. 282 00:13:17,279 --> 00:13:18,280 Specialite? 283 00:13:18,781 --> 00:13:20,282 Specialite de la maison. 284 00:13:20,282 --> 00:13:22,284 Uh, si... yes... oui... 285 00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:23,786 Good... bon. 286 00:13:25,287 --> 00:13:27,790 Uh... uh, beaucoup hot. 287 00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:41,420 Alouette, gentille alouette. 288 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:45,224 Alouette, gentille alouette. 289 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:49,595 Alouette, gentille alouette. 290 00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:58,604 Pardon. 291 00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:02,324 Voici. Ta-dah! 292 00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:15,754 Waiter, this food has snails in it. 293 00:14:16,539 --> 00:14:17,790 Pardon? 294 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:20,125 Snails, snails, snails. 295 00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:22,545 Oh, escargots. 296 00:14:22,545 --> 00:14:24,547 Mmm, c'est excellent, madame. 297 00:14:24,547 --> 00:14:27,049 Am I supposed to eat this? 298 00:14:27,049 --> 00:14:28,050 Huh? 299 00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:30,052 I am supposed to eat? 300 00:14:30,052 --> 00:14:31,053 Oh, oui, madame. 301 00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:32,555 Mangez, bien sur. 302 00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:34,056 Voici. 303 00:14:48,571 --> 00:14:49,572 Non. 304 00:14:51,073 --> 00:14:52,575 Non, madame. 305 00:14:59,582 --> 00:15:01,584 Comme ceci. 306 00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:03,085 Si, si? 307 00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:04,837 Oui, oui, comme ceci. 308 00:15:21,236 --> 00:15:23,072 Maybe if I had some ketchup. 309 00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,491 Pardon. 310 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,859 Ketchup. 311 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,327 Ketchup. 312 00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:29,828 Sauce de tomates? 313 00:15:29,828 --> 00:15:31,330 Sauce tomate. 314 00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:32,331 Tomates? 315 00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:33,616 Yeah, sauce tomate. 316 00:15:33,616 --> 00:15:35,417 Lots of it. 317 00:15:41,924 --> 00:15:45,928 I think an American cousin of yours ate my geranium plant. 318 00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:47,429 (clamoring) 319 00:15:47,429 --> 00:15:48,847 MAN: Non! Non! Mais non! 320 00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:50,349 Comment! C'est impoli! 321 00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:52,351 C'est ridicule! Absolument ridicule! 322 00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:55,354 Sauce tomate sur les babas de Bourgogne! 323 00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:56,855 Jamais d'escargots. 324 00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:58,357 Mais je... si madame met du ketchup 325 00:15:58,357 --> 00:15:59,858 sur les escargots de Bourgogne 326 00:15:59,858 --> 00:16:01,360 je donne ma demission! 327 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,362 Que veux-tu qu'on y fasse avec ces prudes Americains? 328 00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:05,698 Oh, ketchup! Nom d'un nom! 329 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,366 Ca m'est egal. 330 00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:10,152 En tant que premier chef a La Porte de Montmartre. 331 00:16:10,152 --> 00:16:11,537 Je repete, si madame, Never mind. 332 00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,539 met du ketchup sur les escargots, 333 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:15,040 je donnerai ma demission. 334 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,041 All right, all right, all right, never mind. 335 00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:17,042 Just give me my check. 336 00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:18,043 Pardon? 337 00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:19,545 Just give me my check. 338 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,547 Je ne comprends pas. 339 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,048 Just give me the check. 340 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,883 L'addition, s'il vous plait. 341 00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:27,586 C'est quatre cent francs, madame. 342 00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:28,887 Huh? 343 00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:30,806 Quatre cent francs. 344 00:16:30,806 --> 00:16:32,808 Oh, dear. 345 00:16:32,808 --> 00:16:34,643 Non, non, non. Je vous en prie. 346 00:16:36,645 --> 00:16:38,147 Oh, 400 francs. 347 00:16:38,647 --> 00:16:40,149 Why didn't you say so? 348 00:16:40,649 --> 00:16:42,151 Here. 349 00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:44,153 Keep the change. 350 00:16:44,153 --> 00:16:45,654 Pardon? 351 00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:47,022 Uh, for vous, for vous. 352 00:16:47,022 --> 00:16:49,992 Ah, merci, merci. 353 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,002 (clamoring) 354 00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:02,004 Gendarme! Gendarme! 355 00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:04,006 Gendarme! Gendarme! 356 00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:05,374 Gendarme! Gendarme! 357 00:17:05,374 --> 00:17:06,842 Gendarme? Oui, oui. 358 00:17:06,842 --> 00:17:08,343 Gerdarme. Police? 359 00:17:08,343 --> 00:17:09,845 Oui, police, police, madame. Police, police. 360 00:17:09,845 --> 00:17:12,848 Since when is it a crime to put ketchup on snails? 361 00:17:12,848 --> 00:17:14,850 C'est de la contrabande. 362 00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:16,852 C'est monnaie contrefaite. 363 00:17:16,852 --> 00:17:20,139 C'est-- I'm sorry-- contrefait, madame, contrefait. 364 00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,524 (waiter and chef talking at once) 365 00:17:22,524 --> 00:17:24,026 Police! 366 00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,527 CHEF: Police! 367 00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:26,862 Counterfeit? 368 00:17:26,862 --> 00:17:28,280 Oui, contrefait. 369 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:29,782 Ah, police. 370 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,534 Madame est venue ici avec de l'argent contrefait. 371 00:17:32,534 --> 00:17:34,319 Contrefaite! 372 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:36,155 Alors, madame. 373 00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:47,166 (mumbling) 374 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,168 Alors, alors, alors. 375 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,421 Qu'est-ce que c'est? 376 00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:54,423 Agua mineral. 377 00:17:54,423 --> 00:17:55,924 Cet homme est paf. 378 00:17:55,924 --> 00:17:57,392 Est-ce vrai? 379 00:17:57,392 --> 00:17:59,144 Yo hablo espanol. 380 00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:00,512 Espanol. 381 00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:01,930 Si, senor. 382 00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:02,931 Parlez francais? 383 00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:04,433 No. 384 00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:05,934 Yo hablo espanol. 385 00:18:05,934 --> 00:18:07,436 Espanol. 386 00:18:07,436 --> 00:18:09,938 Und ich spreche ein bisschen Deutsch auch. 387 00:18:09,938 --> 00:18:12,441 Was? Sie sprechen Deutsch? 388 00:18:12,441 --> 00:18:13,942 Wunderbar! 389 00:18:13,942 --> 00:18:16,829 Ich spreche auch Deutsch. Ich bin aus Strasbourg. 390 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:17,830 Il parle allemand. 391 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:18,831 Fichez-moi la paix. 392 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,332 Er hat was gesagt? 393 00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:21,834 Nichts-- er hat gesagt 394 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,836 Sie haben zu viel Wein getrunken. Kommen Sie. 395 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,337 Kommen Sie. 396 00:18:27,790 --> 00:18:30,008 I didn't know it was counterfeit. 397 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,510 Do you hear me? I didn't know it. 398 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,295 Now, I can explain everything. 399 00:18:33,295 --> 00:18:35,130 Now, you listen to me, I am no crook. 400 00:18:35,130 --> 00:18:36,348 I am an American. 401 00:18:36,348 --> 00:18:37,683 Mais qu'est-ce qui se passe? 402 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,218 Je ne comprends absolument rien. 403 00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:40,719 Pourquoi est-ce que vous avez arrete cette femme? 404 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,221 Not so fast now. 405 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:43,105 On l'a arretee en train 406 00:18:43,105 --> 00:18:45,107 de passer des faux billets. 407 00:18:45,107 --> 00:18:46,608 Faux billets. Faux billets. Faux billets. 408 00:18:46,608 --> 00:18:48,110 Voici son passeport. 409 00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:49,444 Son nom est Ricardo. 410 00:18:49,444 --> 00:18:50,395 Ricardo. 411 00:18:50,729 --> 00:18:52,731 Ricardo... Ricardo... Ricardo... 412 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:54,233 Hey, that's me. 413 00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:56,451 Ce passeport n'est pas a vous, madame. 414 00:18:56,451 --> 00:18:58,320 Non, non, c'est pas votre photographie. C'est pas a vous. 415 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,322 Now, now, I know, I know that is a very bad picture of me 416 00:19:00,823 --> 00:19:02,324 but that is my passport, and I'm sorry, 417 00:19:02,324 --> 00:19:03,325 I just didn't have time 418 00:19:03,826 --> 00:19:05,327 to get a better picture, but that is me-- now, look. 419 00:19:05,828 --> 00:19:06,879 Ah, oui. 420 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,247 Oui, oui, maintenant je vous reconnait. 421 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,215 Now, look, I demand to call my husband. 422 00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:11,216 Quoi? 423 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:13,552 I demand to call my husband. 424 00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:16,555 I... I demander... 425 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:20,058 I demander telephoner my... 426 00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:21,059 mon mari. 427 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:22,561 Mari. 428 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,346 Mon mari, mon mari. I telephoner mon mari. 429 00:19:24,346 --> 00:19:26,515 Oui, oui, allez, allez. 430 00:19:26,515 --> 00:19:29,518 Hotel Royal. 431 00:19:29,518 --> 00:19:35,023 Look, my husband... mon mari is a, is a big bandleader. 432 00:19:35,023 --> 00:19:37,693 Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom boom, boom, boom, boom, boom! 433 00:19:37,693 --> 00:19:38,944 Boom, boom, boom, boom. 434 00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:43,832 Monsieur Ricardo, s'il vous plait. 435 00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:47,586 My husband-- mon mari-- is sort of a Spanish chevalier. 436 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:49,204 Chevalier. 437 00:19:49,204 --> 00:19:51,006 Well, sort of, he is. 438 00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:52,507 He happens to be... Listen now... 439 00:19:52,507 --> 00:19:53,508 Ricky? 440 00:19:53,508 --> 00:19:56,011 Ricky, I'm in the Bastille. 441 00:20:03,218 --> 00:20:04,219 Lucy. 442 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:05,721 Oh, honey! 443 00:20:05,721 --> 00:20:06,722 Oh... 444 00:20:06,722 --> 00:20:07,606 Are you all right? 445 00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:09,057 Oh, I never was so glad to hear 446 00:20:09,057 --> 00:20:12,060 anybody speak English in my life, even you. 447 00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:13,395 What happened? 448 00:20:13,395 --> 00:20:15,898 Uh, I don't know, nobody speaks English. 449 00:20:15,898 --> 00:20:16,899 They're all foreigners. 450 00:20:17,399 --> 00:20:18,901 What... What happened? 451 00:20:19,401 --> 00:20:20,402 What are you doing here? 452 00:20:20,903 --> 00:20:22,905 I was standing outside the American Express office 453 00:20:22,905 --> 00:20:24,406 and a man changed some money for me 454 00:20:24,406 --> 00:20:25,908 and it turned out to be counterfeit. 455 00:20:25,908 --> 00:20:27,409 Then they tried to make me eat snails for lunch 456 00:20:27,409 --> 00:20:28,410 and then they arrested me. 457 00:20:28,911 --> 00:20:29,912 If you say, "I told you so," 458 00:20:29,912 --> 00:20:31,296 I'll punch you right in the nose. 459 00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,749 What's the matter? Won't they believe you? 460 00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:35,667 Well, nobody understands me. 461 00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:37,169 Oh, dear. 462 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,171 Oh, dear, they're gonna send me to jail, honey. 463 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:41,089 Monsieur, parlez-vous francais? 464 00:20:41,089 --> 00:20:42,591 They want to know if you speak French. 465 00:20:42,591 --> 00:20:43,592 I know, I know that. 466 00:20:43,592 --> 00:20:46,595 Non, non, no parle francais. 467 00:20:46,595 --> 00:20:47,896 Yo hablo espanol. 468 00:20:47,896 --> 00:20:50,265 Espanol! 469 00:20:50,265 --> 00:20:51,767 Espanol! 470 00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:53,268 Allez me chercher le poivrot. 471 00:20:53,268 --> 00:20:55,737 Oh, tout de suite! 472 00:20:55,737 --> 00:20:57,239 J'ai une excellente idee. Je reviens toute a l'heure. 473 00:20:57,739 --> 00:20:58,991 Bien. Tres bien. 474 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,158 What are they talking about? 475 00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:01,360 How would I know? 476 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,328 They're gonna send me to the guillotine. 477 00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:04,663 Now, you just take your time, honey. 478 00:21:12,587 --> 00:21:13,588 Voici mon idee. 479 00:21:13,588 --> 00:21:15,590 Je vous parlerai. 480 00:21:15,590 --> 00:21:17,092 Vous lui parlerez. 481 00:21:17,092 --> 00:21:18,093 Il lui parlera 482 00:21:18,093 --> 00:21:20,095 et lui, il parlera a la dame. Allons-y. 483 00:21:20,095 --> 00:21:22,597 Mm. Er spricht zu mir ich zu ihnen 484 00:21:22,597 --> 00:21:25,600 Sie zu ihm und er spricht zu ihr. 485 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,102 El le va hablar a el. 486 00:21:27,102 --> 00:21:28,603 El me va hablar a mi. 487 00:21:28,603 --> 00:21:30,105 Yo le va hablar a ud. 488 00:21:30,105 --> 00:21:31,723 Y ud. le habla a la senora. 489 00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:32,724 Ah, muy buena idea, muy buena idea. Esta bueno, senor. 490 00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:34,226 What? What? 491 00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:35,477 Very good idea. What is? 492 00:21:35,477 --> 00:21:37,279 Oh, uh, um, uh, 493 00:21:37,279 --> 00:21:39,281 the sergeant only speaks French. 494 00:21:39,281 --> 00:21:41,283 See, and now, this other cop here, 495 00:21:41,283 --> 00:21:43,285 he speaks French and German. Uh-huh. 496 00:21:43,285 --> 00:21:45,787 And this fellow, he speaks German and Spanish. 497 00:21:45,787 --> 00:21:46,788 Oh. 498 00:21:46,788 --> 00:21:48,790 So, uh, he's gonna ask the questions 499 00:21:49,291 --> 00:21:50,292 and we'll translate them to you. 500 00:21:50,292 --> 00:21:52,044 Oh, good. Good. 501 00:21:52,911 --> 00:21:54,212 Bueno. 502 00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:55,080 Sehr gut. 503 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,164 Bon! 504 00:21:56,164 --> 00:21:57,666 Ou avez-vous pris cet argent? 505 00:21:57,666 --> 00:21:59,668 Wo haben Sie das Geld her? 506 00:21:59,668 --> 00:22:01,169 ?Donde tomaste el dinero? 507 00:22:01,670 --> 00:22:02,971 Where did you get the money? 508 00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:07,893 Well, I got it from a man on the street. 509 00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:09,394 but I didn't know it was counterfeit. 510 00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:11,313 Lo me lo dio un hombre en la calle 511 00:22:11,313 --> 00:22:12,814 apero yo no sabia que era falso! 512 00:22:12,814 --> 00:22:15,317 Ein Mann in der Strasse geb es zu mir 513 00:22:15,317 --> 00:22:17,819 aber ich kann nicht das ist schlecht Geld. 514 00:22:17,819 --> 00:22:20,322 Je l'ai recu d'un homme dans la rue 515 00:22:20,322 --> 00:22:22,324 et je n'ai pas su que c'est faux. 516 00:22:22,324 --> 00:22:23,325 Ha! 517 00:22:23,325 --> 00:22:24,326 Ha! 518 00:22:24,326 --> 00:22:25,327 Ha! 519 00:22:25,327 --> 00:22:26,328 Ha! 520 00:22:27,329 --> 00:22:28,830 It's true! 521 00:22:28,830 --> 00:22:30,332 aEs la verdad! 522 00:22:30,332 --> 00:22:31,833 Das ist wahr! 523 00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:32,617 C'est vrai! 524 00:22:32,617 --> 00:22:34,536 Je dois vous prevenir 525 00:22:34,536 --> 00:22:38,540 que le maniement de faux billets est puni 526 00:22:38,540 --> 00:22:42,044 par les travaux forces en perpetuite! 527 00:22:42,044 --> 00:22:43,545 Ich mache Sie darauf aufmerksam 528 00:22:44,046 --> 00:22:46,548 dass fur das verteilen von falschem Geld 529 00:22:46,548 --> 00:22:49,134 straft steht, verhangend mit Fenster arbeit. 530 00:22:49,134 --> 00:22:51,136 Yo le quiero hacer saber a ud. Una cosa 531 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:52,637 que el que falsifica dinero 532 00:22:52,637 --> 00:22:54,639 va a la carcel por trabajo forcado 533 00:22:54,639 --> 00:22:56,024 para toda la vida. 534 00:22:56,525 --> 00:22:57,526 I want you to know something: 535 00:22:57,526 --> 00:22:59,478 That the penalty for counterfeiting 536 00:22:59,978 --> 00:23:02,981 is imprisonment, life imprisonment and hard labor! 537 00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:04,483 Eww! 538 00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:05,317 Eww! 539 00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:07,035 Eww! No, no, no, no! 540 00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:11,456 Now, this is ridiculous. 541 00:23:11,456 --> 00:23:13,291 Do I look like a counterfeiter? 542 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:14,659 aEsto es ridiculo! 543 00:23:14,659 --> 00:23:16,161 ?Yo me parezco una falsificadora? 544 00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:17,662 Sie sind verruckt. 545 00:23:17,662 --> 00:23:19,664 Ich bin nicht mache Geld. 546 00:23:19,664 --> 00:23:21,166 Est-ce que j'ai l'air 547 00:23:21,666 --> 00:23:22,667 d'un faux monnayeur? 548 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,476 I am innocent! 549 00:23:31,476 --> 00:23:33,979 aYo soy inocente! 550 00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:36,481 Ich bin unschuldig! 551 00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:38,483 Je suis innocente. 552 00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:39,935 Bien. 553 00:23:39,935 --> 00:23:43,271 Si elle rend l'argent, elle peut s'en aller. 554 00:23:43,688 --> 00:23:46,691 Gut, wenn Sie ihre Restaurant rechnung bezalht 555 00:23:46,691 --> 00:23:47,692 kann Sie gehen. 556 00:23:47,692 --> 00:23:50,195 Bueno. Si ella le paga la cuenta al restaurant 557 00:23:50,695 --> 00:23:51,696 ella se puede ir. 558 00:23:51,696 --> 00:23:53,698 Good. If you pay the rest of the bill, you can go. 559 00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:54,699 Hooray! 560 00:23:54,699 --> 00:23:55,500 Ole! 561 00:23:55,784 --> 00:23:56,785 Wunderbar! 562 00:23:56,785 --> 00:23:57,586 Tres bien! 563 00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:05,010 El dinero aqui lo tengo yo. 564 00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:08,013 ETHEL: We didn't know it was counterfeit! 565 00:24:08,013 --> 00:24:11,016 (clamoring) 566 00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:13,518 I got the money from my best friend. 567 00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:14,519 Silence! Silence! Silence! 568 00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:16,021 Alors, alors, alors, quoi? 569 00:24:16,021 --> 00:24:18,440 Monsieur, cet homme 570 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,942 il m'a paye avec de l'argent contrefait! 571 00:24:20,942 --> 00:24:22,360 We didn't know it was counterfeit. 572 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,113 Hey, hey, she's the brains of this gang. 573 00:24:25,113 --> 00:24:26,398 She gave us the money. 574 00:24:26,398 --> 00:24:29,818 (frenzied arguing ensues) 575 00:24:34,372 --> 00:24:35,373 Yeah, well, I don't care. 576 00:24:35,373 --> 00:24:37,209 Ricky gave you your money back, didn't he? 577 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,127 Listen, thanks to me, you got to do something 578 00:24:39,127 --> 00:24:40,629 that very few Americans get to do. 579 00:24:40,629 --> 00:24:42,414 You got to see the inside of a French jail. 580 00:24:42,414 --> 00:24:43,798 Great. 581 00:24:43,798 --> 00:24:45,300 Thanks to you, we almost spent 582 00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:47,135 the rest of our lives on Devil's Island. 583 00:24:47,135 --> 00:24:48,086 Oh... 584 00:24:48,587 --> 00:24:50,088 Oh, come on now. Won't you forget it? 585 00:24:50,088 --> 00:24:51,089 It's all over now. 586 00:24:51,089 --> 00:24:52,090 Oh, he makes me so mad, 587 00:24:52,090 --> 00:24:52,974 Now, forget it. 588 00:24:52,974 --> 00:24:54,476 ...blaming me for a thing like that. 589 00:24:54,476 --> 00:24:57,345 All right. Besides, I got, I got a surprise for you. 590 00:24:57,345 --> 00:24:58,597 For me? What? 591 00:24:58,597 --> 00:24:59,731 I bought you a painting. 592 00:24:59,731 --> 00:25:01,149 You bought...? 593 00:25:01,149 --> 00:25:02,517 I bought a painting, too. 594 00:25:02,517 --> 00:25:03,485 So did we. 595 00:25:03,985 --> 00:25:05,237 Yeah, we got a genuine original. 596 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:06,521 No kidding! I'll go get it. 597 00:25:06,521 --> 00:25:08,523 We'll see who's got the best eye for art. 598 00:25:08,523 --> 00:25:09,658 Okay, I'll show you the one I got for you. 599 00:25:09,658 --> 00:25:11,660 All right, I got mine right here. 600 00:25:12,944 --> 00:25:14,613 Look. 601 00:25:14,613 --> 00:25:16,364 Isn't that beautiful? Look. 602 00:25:19,117 --> 00:25:20,619 Isn't that beautiful? 603 00:25:21,536 --> 00:25:22,787 For heaven's sake. 604 00:25:22,787 --> 00:25:25,173 The man said he'd rather cut off his arm. 605 00:25:25,173 --> 00:25:27,075 (all talking over each other) 606 00:25:27,075 --> 00:25:28,560 I paid a thousand francs! 607 00:25:30,562 --> 00:25:33,565 (orchestra playing closing flourish) 608 00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:40,739 ("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) 609 00:25:43,241 --> 00:25:44,743 ANNOUNCER: Those seen in tonight's show 610 00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:46,745 were Shepard Menken, Lawrence Dobkin, 611 00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:48,246 Maurice Marsac, Fritz Feld, 612 00:25:48,747 --> 00:25:49,748 Ramsay Hill, John Mylong, 613 00:25:50,248 --> 00:25:53,752 Vincent Padula, Rolfe Sedan, Trevor Ward. 614 00:25:59,758 --> 00:26:02,761 "I Love Lucy" is a Desilu Production. 615 00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:04,763 Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz 616 00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:07,265 will be back next week at this same time. 40174

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