Original subtitles

Jesus...

Alright. Everything's ready.

Well, let the invasion start!

We'll have fun!

I'm hungry...

That's enough! Get away from me! I'm going home.

- How noisy... - That's a misunderstanding, Shinobu!

Ataru-kun prefers other girls, right?

- How about going haunt them? - Are you a fool?

I, Ataru Moroboshi, like Shinobu with every fiber of my being!

Why-why did you say that all of a sudden...

It's not all of a sudden, I've been always thinking so.

Fine. If you do that again, we'll break up.

Oh, beauty.

I barely said it one second ago...

Ataru-kun... I hate you!

I'm a fool!

Why the fuss?

I just took a peek at other girls...

Wait, wait, wait!

(Duh, duh, duh) Wait, wait, wait!

You can't make such a hasty decision!

Pull yourself together!

(Ma) Pull yourself together!

(Dong!)

Suddenly what!?

- It's so cold! - Am I... too late?

Namu...

What were you doing?

(Beware of molesters) So you didn't want to jump off?

But I saw the shadow of death on your back...

- That's why I wanted to help... - Hot!

Why would I suicide for something like being jilted by women!?

You-your...

What?

Your face!

It looks direly awful!

What I was trying to say is that...

in the sense of physiognomy, your face looks awful...

What is he blabbering about since earlier?

I'm a wandering monk, Sakuranbou.

(Wandering Monk. Sakuranbou. Cherry) But please call me Cherry.

So you're haunting me for such a boring matter!?

- Ataru! - Ataru-kun!

Mom, Shinobu, why the hurry?

I watched the news report and got so worried about you.

News report?

He's here!

What?

You're Ataru Moroboshi, right?

They're from the authority. They've been looking for you.

For what?

Listen, you must stay strong!

(Moroboshi) "Stay strong"? What do you mean...

Oh, welcome home!

Ooo-Oni!? [Oni: Evil spirits in Japanese folklore]

Oni away! Oni away!

Chill down, lad.

Well, well, boy.

I'm Invader.

Anyway, can I have a word with you?

Yes.

We'll soon reach the sky above the target house.

Preparing the transfer device.

It's reported that we've made a contact with the target.

A match between me and Invader?

They are here to invade Earth,

but a proposal was made.

We'll have a match with an earthling randomly picked by our computer.

If we lose the match,

we'll withdraw without any second thoughts.

So I am the one picked?

- Yep. - No way!

A match with Oni... Ataru-kun will die from it!

Yeah! Oni away!

No, you're the Oni!

'Cause the match will be a tag game!

Tag?

What is it this time?

Oh, I've been waiting for you!

So he is my opponent?

My name is Lum.

She's my daughter. A beauty, isn't she?

You'll be the Oni going after her.

If you can grab her horns in ten days, you win.

I'll play tag with her...?

But... I gotta have to grab her body before I can grab her horns, right?

Wait a second.

You won't easily catch me.

Yes, I will! I will definitely hug you with my arms!

Ataru-kun...

- It hurts! - Womanizer!

Moroboshi-kun, your mission is of utmost significance.

For the sake of Earth...

OK, I'll do it!

Great! Then it's decided!

The match will start from tomorrow!

A grand match staking the whole Earth! I'm looking forward to it!

(Urusei Yatsura)

Finally,

(The Youth about Running Around) the tag game concerning the whole Earth will soon begin.

the tag game concerning the whole Earth will soon begin.

The time limit is ten days.

And the time between sunrise and sunset is called a day!

The high school student from Tokyo, Ataru Moroboshi

will win over the invader, Lum-chan if he gets to grab her horns!

(Earth's Best! Win with all your might! Fight!) will win over the invader, Lum-chan if he gets to grab her horns!

But if Lum-chan manages to stay clear of him, Earth will be invaded!

(Tag Game Day 1)

(Tag Game Day 1) On your mark...

Get set...

I'll give you a big hug first.

I got you!

She... can fly!?

(Zonk) Zonk.

It's unfair! I never heard you can fly!

It's your problem that you didn't do your homework.

Come over here.

Wait!

You can do it!

(Fight, Ataru) This is a handicap match!

Moroboshi-kun, fight on!

But once I catch her, I'll be the hero of Earth,

and popular among girls.

Hey, hey. What's the matter?

Just wait and see, Invader.

I'll catch you in two days!

Four days later...

(Kerplunk)

- There're only five days left! - What should we do!?

- You half-wit! - What are you doing!?

Only half of the time is left.

And you didn't even scratch me once.

Damn it!

Ataru-kun...

(After that)

(In a twinkling)

Damn!

He once again failed to catch her today...

Only one day... left.

Moroboshi-kun, you failed again today.

What will become of Earth?

(Flash) - I knew that! Cut your carping sarcasm! - Must be tough for him.

But a match is a match.

Tomorrow, Earth will be ours.

- I'll definitely catch you! - Ataru-kun...

Earth is as good as ours!

(The Invader father and daughter, confident in their conquest)

If Earth were to be conquered,

Ataru will be picked on for the rest of his life...

What should I say to our neighbors...?

Your son bears an extremely rare Star of Suffering.

If left unchanged, he'll suffer for his life.

Does that make you think of something?

For his life?

Now you mentioned it... Ataru was born on 13th, Friday.

Am I right, Honey?

And I remember it's Buddha's Death that day...

Oh, yes. He was born and the next second there was an earthquake.

And a black cat walked across him.

He's the epitome of misfortune...

I shouldn't have given birth to him...

I was too hasty...

The burden of Earth has begun to weigh on me...

Though she's glamorous, she's the enemy.

One more day and Earth will be conquered...

And I'll live as a social outcast for the rest of my life...

Ataru, are you really OK?

It was your own fault.

You're mesmerized by Lum's charm and accepted it easily.

How could I resist that!?

(Scratch) - Ataru-kun - He's stressed out!

(Scratch) We must do something to motivate him.

How was I supposed to know she could fly!?

Wasn't it a simple job about hugging a glamorous girl!?

Ataru-kun, if you win, I'll marry you!

Marry me...? You're lying!

You want to encourage me so you lied!

No, I mean it! You fool!

I just can't see you become a social outcast for the rest of your life.

Do you mean what you said?

Yes.

I'll do my best tomorrow!

- Ataru, what time do you think it is now? - Girls are so great...

What a simple man...

At last, the deadline of the final day is approaching!

(Tag Game The Final Day. 20 Minutes Before Sunset) And Moroboshi-kun is unusually energetic!

Lum-chan seems to be at a disadvantage!

Getting married! Getting married! Getting married! Getting married!

What are you talking about since earlier?

It's annoying! All that mumbling about getting married!

Getting married!

If I can catch you, then my marriage is earned!

Don't underestimate me!

Electric shock! Unexpectedly, Lum-chan can use the electric shock!

You will be paralyzed for a while.

Getting married!

He stood up!

Eh? You can still move?

Not over yet!

Wait!

Go! You're so close!

Getting married!

Mr. Oni, I'm here.

Ataru-kun...

Shinobu... I'll marry you!

Let... let go of me!

What are you doing!?

Ou, ou, ouch.

This means...

Give it back to me!

She's approaching me actively! Which means, I've won this game!

Goal in!

Now I can get married!

Yay!

Ataru Moroboshi succeeded in defending Earth!

Let's applaud the two who showed an intensive match!

Ataru-kun...

Now I finally can get married.

OK.

Since you've been insisting to this extent, I agree to marry you.

- Moroboshi, are you going to marry Lum? - During the game, he kept yelling "getting married"!

Are you serious, Lum?

Yes, Father.

He proposed to me.

So this is what they say "the winner takes it all"...

Alright, she's left to you. Son-in-law.

Ataru-kun.

Shinobu...

Seems you're not gonna let her down.

Since they've said so, why don't you marry Lum then?

This is too far, at this point!

- I wish you two happy forever! - This is a misunderstanding, Shinobu!

Cut it! You playboy!

(Moroboshi) He's so cool!

(Getting Close to Ataru Moroboshi, the Man Who Saved Earth) Moroboshi-kun is so handsome!

(Getting Close to Ataru Moroboshi, the Man Who Saved Earth) I'm mesmerized by him!

Moroboshi-kun!

- I'm the hero of Earth now. - Thank you for saving us!

(Celebrations on Successful Defense of Earth) Alright. Now I'll go on to my girl hunt!

- What happened!? - Cheaters will not be forgiven!

Lum. Didn't you return to your place?

I'm going to live here.

What... what did you say?

A couple living together. Isn't it something obvious?

It'll get troublesome again...

- We got married? Seriously? - I shouldn't have given birth to him...

Hello, Darling!

(Urusei Yatsura)

(Zapping)

No cheating!

I'm fed up!

Every day you hinder me from calling to Shinobu!

Get out!

Let me make it clear to you! I prefer Shinobu!

Cry... crying won't move me, you know?

It's divorce! Get out!

(Desperate Situation)

Must be some wild cats. It's the breeding season lately, you see...

From now on, I won't hide it and date Shinobu openly.

Eh, Lum has moved out?

So, we can meet without interference from now on?

Yeah. Now let's decide the day of our dating!

It's a lie!

I'm still here! Up and running!

She... she's lying! Lum is not here!

On the Saturday night, we'll make babies!

Enough! This is the break-up!

(Shut down) Enough! This is the break-up!

Shinobu!

- Please trust me! - Such an entertaining son...

I wish I had one too...

- You may adopt him anytime. - Lum's interfering again!

(Moroboshi) Lum, you moron!

Darling, you schmuck!

His mind is full of Shinobu while I'm by his side!

This is war then!

Oh, that's so embarrassing.

You know that madam is famous for a big mouth?

Soon I'll be laughed at by everyone for

being the mother of a stupid son!

- Shut up! - You're the slices of a living idiot!

(Sliced Ataru Moroboshi Idiot. Fidgeting, Fidgeting) Slices of a living idiot?

- How could say that to your own son!? - So what?

As the father, I must do something to cool the situation down...

A special news report.

Around 10 a.m. today.

A plane passing through above the Tomobiki Town went missing.

A special news report, have a look!

It happened around our house!

What are you so happy about!?

That won't help cure his foolishness!

Good grief...

Damn it. If so, I'll go extreme on this.

Hello?

- Shinobu... - Darling, are you gonna tease Shinobu again?

Wait, Shinobu! If you hang up, then it's all over!

Don't mind Lum!

Just trust me! Please!

- Darling said he hates Shinobu! - Don't fall for that!

OK. I'll try believing in you, Moroboshi-kun.

Thank you, Shinobu. How I have been waiting for this day...

- I'm just here! - She's not around.

Yeah. I don't hear Lum speaking anything.

Strengthen the radio jamming!

(Moroboshi) Strengthen the radio jamming!

Lum! She adopted some mean method again!

What? I can't hear you.

Mind lowering your noise at such a moment!?

The following news is...

(Afternoon News) Once again, a helicopter went missing above the Tomobiki Town.

These are photos taken at that time.

Please take a closer look at this part.

(Provided by the Audience) That's the famous Ataru Moroboshi.

At that moment, he's on the phone with his girlfriend.

And we suspected that Lum-chan is sending weird electric waves

to these two's houses.

And astonishingly, this triangle

has created a black hole!

- So, it'll be fine if they stop calling each other? - What a nuisance the triangle is!

If so, I'll go meet Shinobu face to face!

I want to meet you too!

Just you try!

(Zapping)

Now you won't be able to go out there.

I won't admit defeat. By any means, I'll meet her.

Hey, Ataru.

Father, it's no use stopping me.

This is the raincoat I used in my younger days.

Put it on and go.

It's made of gum, so it'll shelter you from electricity.

Father...

No need to worry.

Cherry.

I'll witness your son's last moments.

(Swift) I'll be back.

Shinobu!

Ataru!

I'll hold a grand burial for you!

Nam-mai-da, nam-mai-da.

Don't follow me!

(Crackle)

(Tonk!) Dodge it!

(Bam!)

(Emergency Hood) What a pitiful guy...

Nam-mai-da, nam-mai-da.

(Wham) You idiot!

Until I finally meet Shinobu, I won't die!

Ataru-kun!

- Shinobu! - You cheater...

I will never let you two meet up!

The power is out!

Ataru-kun!

Shinobu!

Shinobu!

Ataru-kun!

Shinobu!

Ataru-kun!

Shinobu!

You dodged your way through the thunders to meet me, right?

No matter what impediment, it's powerless in face of love!

Shinobu...

Ataru-kun!

Die together then!

I'll settle this triangle relationship!

So calm and tranquil...

So hot!

- What? What? - What's going on?

Shinobu, are you alright?

Where are you?

I'll come to you soon!

Ataru-kun...

You're alright...

I'm so glad!

Darling, you're more concerned about me after all!

This is excessive...

No... not like that...

You two teamed up to make fun of me!

Wait! It's a misunderstanding!

(Whomp!)

Shinobu!

Moroboshi-kun.

- This brought us so much trouble! - Why did this happen?

Compensation for two aircraft...

I'm from Neighborhood Committee, the streets are...

I'll pay all of you, even if it'll take my whole life to do that!

Sure, you will! But when?

Well...

Shinobu, it's a misunderstanding!

- Darling, you cheater! - Please trust my words!

This is the punishment!

Why it ends up like this!?

This is destiny.

(The Lucky Yellow Ribbon Given to You) Next episode of Urusei Yatsura.

(The Lucky Yellow Ribbon Given to You) Oh, lady. Where do you live? What's your number?