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1
00:00:08,384 --> 00:00:10,456
First semester's coming to an end,
2
00:00:10,457 --> 00:00:13,084
and your boy is already
makin' a name for himself.
3
00:00:13,085 --> 00:00:14,597
Junior! My man.
4
00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,724
Yo.
5
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,351
And it's been pretty eventful.
6
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,395
I got snatched up by a secret society,
7
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,938
I had a run-in with the cops,
8
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,732
and I got caught with my ass out...
9
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,484
...for the second time
10
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:27,526
by my sister.
11
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:30,112
I also got close with Annika.
12
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,323
Junior, of course I like you.
13
00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,784
I knew it.
14
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,744
Well, close enough to get friend-zoned.
15
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:40,081
But I'm seeing someone.
16
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,248
You are?
17
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,750
Which I'm cool with.
18
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,710
You know, Superman and
Wonder Woman, they're friends.
19
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,170
Look at all the good they do.
20
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,463
- 'Sup, Junior.
- 'Sup.
21
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,591
Come through.
22
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,218
Bet.
23
00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,138
Looking good, Junior.
24
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,057
Thanks...
25
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,018
Girl I Don't Know.
26
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,813
Anyway, all I gotta do
is get through my finals,
27
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,857
and Andre Johnson Jr.
Has officially survived
28
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:09,360
his first semester of college unscathed.
29
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,033
Please don't let this be
30
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,369
another weird frat thing.
31
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,417
What the hell?
32
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,629
Yo.
33
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,219
Wow.
34
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,679
I would've thought making
the D List would come
35
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,806
with a crown or a championship belt.
36
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,808
I'm sorry. The D List?
37
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:41,934
What are you talking about?
38
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,353
- You don't know?
- No.
39
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:48,649
Junior, your junk is
the talk of the school.
40
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,780
Oh, God.
41
00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,741
Between you and me,
42
00:01:57,742 --> 00:02:00,077
you should be really pumped
that these aren't shrimp.
43
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,917
Mm, not bad.
44
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,711
A little acidic for my
taste, but I've endured worse.
45
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,296
What is it, Guatemalan roast?
46
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,673
Uh, closing shift's pot
thrown in the microwave,
47
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,383
but I'm happy it's working for you.
48
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,469
- Mm.
- Yo.
49
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,221
Do you guys know if the kitchen here
50
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:03,140
will take unsolicited eggplants?
51
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,600
I don't want these to go to waste,
52
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,936
and I already got rejected
from our local food banks.
53
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,145
Dude, are you okay?
54
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,856
No, no, I am not okay.
55
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,608
I'm on the "Cal U D List."
56
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,527
I almost made it through
the first semester,
57
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,695
but now I'm gonna have to
transfer to a state school
58
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:19,073
that they advertise on
"Blue Bloods" episodes.
59
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,783
Do you think they let Black
people into Arizona now,
60
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,660
- or is that a myth?
- Whoa, man, easy, alright?
61
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:23,828
Yeah, I mean, I gotta give it to you.
62
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,746
I didn't really take you for a F buddy.
63
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:29,291
More of a cuddle buddy... buddy.
64
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,001
Yeah, I don't think you
understand what this means.
65
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,420
Okay? When it comes to the List...
66
00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:35,548
The List has been objectifying Cal U men
67
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,675
since before we even got here.
68
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,468
Grading us, evaluating us,
69
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,928
and treating us like hunks of meat.
70
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,805
Now, your chances of hooking
up with co-eds after that?
71
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,307
Nearly impossible.
72
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:48,352
- And for some, could be even worse.
- Mm-hmm.
73
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,729
Take Chad Filipan. No stars.
74
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,939
Just a two-word review
75
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,691
that he'll never be able to live down.
76
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,193
"Spoon Dong."
77
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,530
Poor little Chad.
78
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,448
- It hurts.
- It does.
79
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:02,449
Anyways, what'd they give you?
80
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:03,701
Three stars? Three and a half?
81
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:04,743
Five stars.
82
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,623
Five stars.
83
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,458
Wait, wait, wait.
84
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,377
The highest we've ever heard
was four and three-quarters,
85
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,045
and that kid was the heir
to the Bisquick empire.
86
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,046
I remember that kid.
87
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,673
It's not fair.
88
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:21,051
God's not supposed to
give with both hands.
89
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,887
But, yo, not that we're
comparing or anything,
90
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:25,347
but back in my day, four
stars meant something.
91
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,141
Yeah. It's like
different eras of the NBA.
92
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,393
Sure, guys today, they're
a little more athletic,
93
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,936
but the older generation
had the fundamentals,
94
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,231
so you can't really compare, you know?
95
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,649
Anyway, it's not about
me, it's about you,
96
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,109
and it's about your anatomy.
97
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,152
And no one's calling
it a piece of flatware,
98
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,320
so just chill, man.
99
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,487
Go out there, enjoy your reputation.
100
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:41,906
Wait, wait, wait.
101
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,073
Who'd you even hook up
with to get on the list?
102
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:46,160
Great question.
103
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,913
Yeah, I don't kiss and tell.
104
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,831
Hmm.
105
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,583
I don't kiss and tell.
106
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,834
Never have.
107
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,128
I never told anyone about Katie Hansen.
108
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,047
Or Keisha Emerson.
109
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,340
Or Michelle Lewis,
110
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,133
who used way too much
tongue, by the way.
111
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:05,387
But of course my only
sneaky link puts me on blast.
112
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,681
Yo, Kiela.
113
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,892
Uh, first off, you look very nice today.
114
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,353
Classy, but not trying too hard.
You're really pulling it off.
115
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,606
Second, why did you put
my name on that list?
116
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,983
Okay. Can you just
relax and enjoy the ride?
117
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,236
No. No, I cannot relax,
because I'm being objectified.
118
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:24,239
People are talking about my TT.
119
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,909
I did not ask for any of this.
120
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,370
Sorry, but, um, women
didn't ask to be objectified
121
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,413
through all of human history, either.
122
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,581
You know, when the list first started,
123
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,541
it was a flyer posted around campus
124
00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:37,378
where men would rate
women on their performance?
125
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,046
"Jennifer Huff... Worth every penny
126
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,381
she'll have you spend on her."
127
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,383
"Dominique Nelson... a great time!"
128
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,176
"Carol Munson... two paper bags needed."
129
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,262
But one day, a group of
women remixed the list
130
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,431
and turned the objectification
spotlight on men.
131
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,141
"Ron Maddox... ride of your life,
132
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:53,102
but don't ask for full sentences."
133
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,854
"M Young... if looks
could kill, he'd be dead."
134
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:58,440
"Austen Boyd-Stevens...
rich boys can't buy size."
135
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,609
To me, this list is
about taking back power,
136
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,945
and I'm proud to carry on the tradition.
137
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,405
Women walk through this campus
138
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,448
expecting to take part in
the college hookup culture
139
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,826
but are being judged when they do.
140
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,745
Now men know just, like, a
little bit of what that's like.
141
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,707
So, um, welcome to
your ho phase, Junior,
142
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,000
should you choose to accept it.
143
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,714
So, what was your TA saying?
144
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,590
Okay. My TA basically told me...
145
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:26,468
Breaking news!
146
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:29,680
Our boy Junior just made
the top of the D List.
147
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,974
- Oh, I'm well aware.
- What?
148
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,601
He's spiraling as we speak.
149
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,186
What's the D List?
150
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,938
Is that what we're calling
the Dean's List now?
151
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,190
Because I have a 4.0.
152
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:43,318
Oh, oh, oh, shield
your ears, pretty girl,
153
00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,904
'cause, um, this conversation
is for adults only.
154
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,115
But, um, yeah, five stars.
155
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,702
I didn't think he had it in him. Hey!
156
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,829
You guys, this reminds me,
157
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:57,332
I've been meaning to talk
to you about something.
158
00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:00,169
So, I think Junior might be right.
159
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:03,130
Maybe... Maybe we are more than friends.
160
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:07,384
Wow, what a crazy coincidence,
despite any recent news.
161
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,594
Serendipitous.
162
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,179
No, guys, come on.
163
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,723
I've been thinking about
this for a while now.
164
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,267
Look, we're always talking
about how we want stand-up,
165
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:18,562
- chivalrous men...
- This "Bridgerton" bitch...
166
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,857
See, this is why I don't get sprung.
167
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,443
Wow.
168
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,695
That was really good.
169
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,490
Oh, yeah, I don't do
that. It's, uh, not for me.
170
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,116
Do you, um, have class soon, or...?
171
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,035
Um... oh!
172
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,411
Oh, my Go... I'm so sorry.
173
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,621
It's cool, it's cool.
174
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,747
She was just, uh, about to leave.
175
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,123
Okay.
176
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,416
I have not regained
control of my legs yet.
177
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,877
- Nice.
- Nice.
178
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,295
- Junior... out.
- Yeah.
179
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,256
It messes with your neurons.
180
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,425
I'm not sprung.
181
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,053
But, I mean, he did give
up The Crest for me, guys.
182
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,095
Mm-hmm.
183
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:55,349
Um, yeah, and you dying
to give it up for him.
184
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,729
I'm not dying to give up anything.
185
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,439
I'm just thinking about things.
186
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,483
Can't a girl think about things?
187
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,109
Damn.
188
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:08,987
You guys...
189
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,948
That girl is dizzy for the D.
190
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,616
Ha ha!
191
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,076
Oh!
192
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,746
D List!
193
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,249
Oh.
194
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,167
Mm.
195
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,261
I gotta say, it's kinda hard
to try and study economic theory
196
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,221
when everyone in your class
197
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,223
is looking at you like a piece of meat.
198
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,977
Any questions so far?
199
00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:39,978
_
200
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,357
Maybe this ain't so bad.
201
00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:47,736
_
202
00:08:49,306 --> 00:08:51,256
_
203
00:08:51,457 --> 00:08:53,805
_
204
00:08:54,806 --> 00:08:57,006
_
205
00:08:57,007 --> 00:08:58,905
_
206
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:06,354
So, guys... Guys, guys, I
need everyone's attention.
207
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,922
Uh, something weird is going on.
208
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:12,217
Do you remember back in 2014
when Tesla first came out
209
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,595
and everybody was going crazy
to get on the waiting lists?
210
00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,722
And if you did have a
Tesla, you were super cool
211
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,307
because it had the falcon-wing doors,
212
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,142
it could drive itself, you
could play "Tetris" in traffic...
213
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,603
Junior, land the plane.
214
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,188
- Yes, yes, yes. Land the plane.
- Okay. Thank you.
215
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,358
So, the point is... Excuse me...
216
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,196
I think I'm a 2014 Tesla.
217
00:09:32,514 --> 00:09:36,058
Putting me on this D List,
it got me all this attention.
218
00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:38,227
Sexually.
219
00:09:38,228 --> 00:09:39,895
Which is crazy, because normally,
220
00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:42,356
I'm a reliable family
wagon with third-row seating
221
00:09:42,357 --> 00:09:44,400
and a great J.D. Power safety rating.
222
00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:47,236
God, even I would sleep with
him to get him to shut up.
223
00:09:47,237 --> 00:09:50,364
Yeah, uh, that D List definitely
put a scarlet letter on you.
224
00:09:50,365 --> 00:09:52,449
- Yeah.
- That "A" is for ass.
225
00:09:52,450 --> 00:09:54,118
- Mm-hmm.
- You know?
226
00:09:54,119 --> 00:09:56,286
Yeah. I... I guess I've just...
227
00:09:56,287 --> 00:09:59,081
I've never been objectified
in this way before.
228
00:09:59,082 --> 00:10:01,917
And I don't know if I totally hate it.
229
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:03,836
Does that make me a bad person?
230
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,797
I mean, I try not to
judge anyone, but, yes.
231
00:10:06,798 --> 00:10:09,341
- What?
- 100%.
232
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,135
Look, there is nothing wrong
233
00:10:11,136 --> 00:10:13,387
with catching a bunch of yams
from random girls on campus.
234
00:10:13,388 --> 00:10:16,348
I just don't think anything can
compare to a loving relationship
235
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,976
with someone who really knows you.
236
00:10:18,977 --> 00:10:22,771
Like a friend who you really
enjoy spending time with
237
00:10:22,772 --> 00:10:24,732
that might not be in this room.
238
00:10:24,733 --> 00:10:26,608
Don't listen to 7th Heaven.
239
00:10:26,609 --> 00:10:28,610
One person's objectification
240
00:10:28,611 --> 00:10:31,071
is another person's sexual liberation.
241
00:10:31,072 --> 00:10:34,491
Look at Megan Fox, Cardi
B, City Girls, Lil Nas X.
242
00:10:34,492 --> 00:10:37,119
Yeah, but is that really what you want?
243
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,954
Look, bro, don't worry
about any of that.
244
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:41,290
Your junk is made of
2018 Bitcoins right now,
245
00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:43,542
and it's time to cash out.
246
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,210
Hmm.
247
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:48,840
Retain my dignity or have
my own personal Freaknik.
248
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,593
You know what?
249
00:10:52,594 --> 00:10:55,095
The next set of yams
that comes on this device,
250
00:10:55,096 --> 00:10:56,764
Junior's having Thanksgiving dinner.
251
00:10:56,765 --> 00:10:58,599
Ooh! There it is.
252
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,642
_
253
00:11:00,643 --> 00:11:02,770
Ooh. Okay.
254
00:11:02,771 --> 00:11:04,271
- Mm-hmm.
- Eat up, Junior.
255
00:11:06,191 --> 00:11:07,524
You better finish your plate.
256
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,870
I've got a problem.
257
00:11:19,871 --> 00:11:22,414
I think I might be sprung.
258
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,917
You? With Yazmine?
259
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,169
- No.
- Yes.
260
00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:29,087
You just started hooking up.
261
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:30,548
How do you know?
262
00:11:42,852 --> 00:11:45,354
Yazmine, Yazmine, Yazmine,
Yazmine, Yazmine, Yazmine.
263
00:11:45,355 --> 00:11:46,855
Aah!
264
00:11:46,856 --> 00:11:48,232
Everything okay?
265
00:11:55,031 --> 00:11:56,449
Do you serve alcohol?
266
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,329
Yeah. That sounds extremely sprung.
267
00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,289
Shit. I can't be sprung.
268
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:06,041
I have two finals next
week that are literally
269
00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:08,252
gonna make or break my GPA,
and I cannot concentrate.
270
00:12:08,253 --> 00:12:09,878
If it's any comfort,
271
00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:13,465
you're not the only one
battling sprung fever.
272
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,842
Et tu, bitch?
273
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:30,566
Anything you need drilled, ma'am?
274
00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:31,859
I'm sorry, what?
275
00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:33,695
I said get out of the way!
276
00:12:36,739 --> 00:12:38,282
I almost fell down the sewer.
277
00:12:38,283 --> 00:12:40,576
There is something wrong with us.
278
00:12:40,577 --> 00:12:43,412
- Yeah.
- Okay, maybe we can be each other's support systems.
279
00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:45,497
- Mm-hmm.
- Next time you feel weakness,
280
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,291
you reach out to me to keep you strong.
281
00:12:47,292 --> 00:12:50,085
Right. And instead of obsessing
over them, we support each other.
282
00:12:50,086 --> 00:12:51,336
No more texting them.
283
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,130
No more stalking them on socials,
284
00:12:53,131 --> 00:12:56,258
no more thinking about them,
and definitely no more lingering
285
00:12:56,259 --> 00:12:59,595
- in their intoxicating huckleberry scent.
- Right.
286
00:12:59,596 --> 00:13:01,889
Stay with me.
287
00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:03,599
See? I feel better already.
288
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,601
- Yes. Okay.
- Yeah.
289
00:13:05,602 --> 00:13:07,603
Since I have you, um,
290
00:13:07,604 --> 00:13:09,980
I'm wondering if you could
delete some pics for me.
291
00:13:09,981 --> 00:13:11,356
I'm just... I'm not strong enough.
292
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,691
Give it.
293
00:13:14,819 --> 00:13:16,194
Okay.
294
00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:20,782
Don't judge, just delete.
295
00:13:20,783 --> 00:13:23,493
It's amazing what some twinkle lights,
296
00:13:23,494 --> 00:13:26,371
a couple of fuzzy pillows
from Zaara's side of the room,
297
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,248
and a spritz of Drake's
cologne in the air
298
00:13:28,249 --> 00:13:31,460
can do to turn a dorm into
the ultimate love nest.
299
00:13:33,463 --> 00:13:34,546
Wow.
300
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,799
Cristy, um, come in.
301
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,177
Uh, so, I do have some playlists.
302
00:13:40,178 --> 00:13:43,930
I've got some smooth jazz, classic R&B.
303
00:13:43,931 --> 00:13:45,349
I've even got some industrial stuff
304
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:46,683
that sounds like a
metronome, if that's...
305
00:13:52,273 --> 00:13:54,566
You can play whatever you
like, as long as you're ready
306
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,027
to give me the "Five Star" experience...
307
00:13:57,028 --> 00:13:58,153
Daddy.
308
00:14:00,865 --> 00:14:02,032
Uh, Daddy?
309
00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:03,617
Yeah, uh, you can call me Junior.
310
00:14:03,618 --> 00:14:06,036
Shh! Be quiet, "Five Star."
311
00:14:06,037 --> 00:14:08,580
Less talking. Let's get these pants off.
312
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,874
Uh...
313
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:15,003
Wow. So, this is the "object"
part of objectification.
314
00:14:30,228 --> 00:14:33,063
_
315
00:14:33,064 --> 00:14:35,232
_
316
00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:42,864
- Who are you texting?
- I'm fine!
317
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,324
- Sorry, sorry.
- My bad.
318
00:14:44,325 --> 00:14:46,451
I just have a lot on my mind lately.
319
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,371
Um, is your conquest still in
the bathroom or are we alone?
320
00:14:49,372 --> 00:14:52,332
Her name is Cristy, and she left.
321
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,793
Very satisfied, I might add.
322
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:56,086
Ew.
323
00:14:56,087 --> 00:14:58,338
Thanks, but...
324
00:14:58,339 --> 00:15:00,382
I don't know if I am.
325
00:15:00,383 --> 00:15:02,342
There's just a lot to think about.
326
00:15:02,343 --> 00:15:05,095
I thought I was cool with
the idea of meaningless sex,
327
00:15:05,096 --> 00:15:07,097
and I thought, as a progressive male,
328
00:15:07,098 --> 00:15:09,391
I understood the nature
of objectification.
329
00:15:09,392 --> 00:15:13,520
But then she started calling
me "Five Star," and...
330
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:16,690
I don't know. It just
felt kind of weird.
331
00:15:16,691 --> 00:15:17,858
Okay, look.
332
00:15:17,859 --> 00:15:19,860
Are these women consenting adults?
333
00:15:19,861 --> 00:15:22,112
- Of course.
- Then go with it.
334
00:15:22,113 --> 00:15:24,322
College is about getting
out of your comfort zone.
335
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,158
Take a chance and try something new.
336
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,826
Yeah.
337
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,911
Maybe I'll give it a shot.
338
00:15:29,912 --> 00:15:31,204
But what about Yazmine?
339
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:34,458
I... I haven't seen
her around here lately.
340
00:15:34,459 --> 00:15:35,876
Who?
341
00:15:35,877 --> 00:15:39,713
Oh, you know, the girl I've walked
in on you with multiple times.
342
00:15:39,714 --> 00:15:41,047
And I can't prove it,
343
00:15:41,048 --> 00:15:43,550
but I'm pretty sure you
guys did it in my bed.
344
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,469
It smells like huckleberry over here.
345
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:46,803
So what? I like huckleberry.
346
00:15:46,804 --> 00:15:48,388
It's a good scent.
347
00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:50,849
I'm just saying, I know you're
not a relationship person,
348
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:54,561
but maybe you can try
something new, too.
349
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:57,063
Maybe. I need some advice on this.
350
00:15:57,064 --> 00:15:59,441
I'm texting my sponsor.
351
00:15:59,442 --> 00:16:01,943
Okay. Good talk.
352
00:16:01,944 --> 00:16:03,196
Ugh.
353
00:16:06,196 --> 00:16:08,575
_
354
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,994
Texting your friend about
how horny you both are
355
00:16:10,995 --> 00:16:13,205
isn't as helpful as you'd think.
356
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,956
Is this about Junior?
357
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:16,291
Do you want to talk about it?
358
00:16:16,292 --> 00:16:18,668
Please, let us talk about it!
359
00:16:18,669 --> 00:16:20,754
What is there to even talk about?
360
00:16:20,755 --> 00:16:23,507
The fact that Junior got five stars.
361
00:16:23,508 --> 00:16:24,800
No.
362
00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:27,302
That's the last thing on my mind.
363
00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:30,472
But what if I am only clocking
him because he's on that list?
364
00:16:30,473 --> 00:16:31,890
No. Come on.
365
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,767
You already thought he
was boyfriend material.
366
00:16:33,768 --> 00:16:34,851
Yeah.
367
00:16:34,852 --> 00:16:36,812
So why are you even here?
368
00:16:36,813 --> 00:16:40,690
You should be over at his dorm
peeling that eggplant or...
369
00:16:40,691 --> 00:16:42,234
you know, sautéing it or something.
370
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,443
I don't know.
371
00:16:43,444 --> 00:16:45,570
I'm not with the eggplant.
372
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:48,573
Or just talk to him about how you feel.
373
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:49,908
Clothed.
374
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:52,494
You both make good points.
375
00:16:52,495 --> 00:16:54,371
But I've just taken a CBD gummy,
376
00:16:54,372 --> 00:16:58,333
so I'm gonna let my brain think
what it thinks and sleep on it.
377
00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:02,462
I think "it" is that dingaling.
378
00:17:02,463 --> 00:17:03,588
But sweet dreams, honey.
379
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,178
Look, maybe I was
overthinking everything.
380
00:17:10,179 --> 00:17:11,638
But that is my nature.
381
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:14,266
I tend to overthink.
382
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,435
Still, I have one more
thing to figure out.
383
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:18,855
Am I just a dildo?
384
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:27,153
Yeah, no, we don't need to have
this conversation right now.
385
00:17:27,154 --> 00:17:29,364
Kiela, you putting me on this list
386
00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:31,700
has made me question who I am.
387
00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:35,787
I am not just a
one-night-stand kinda guy.
388
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:39,040
I grew up in a house
of independent women
389
00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:41,042
who taught me to respect their struggle.
390
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:42,586
I even lived with a woman for a year,
391
00:17:42,587 --> 00:17:43,712
and we shared utility bills together...
392
00:17:43,713 --> 00:17:45,088
Junior, what are you talking about?
393
00:17:45,089 --> 00:17:47,966
Okay. I just need to honestly know.
394
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,969
Why'd you give me five stars?
395
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,305
What?
396
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:56,224
I mean, you could've
given me three, four.
397
00:17:56,225 --> 00:17:58,685
You could've savaged me
like that Spoon Dong guy.
398
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:02,898
Um, why did I give you five stars?
399
00:18:02,899 --> 00:18:04,858
I... I guess I gave it to you
400
00:18:04,859 --> 00:18:07,445
because it was genuinely amazing?
401
00:18:08,571 --> 00:18:09,821
It was?
402
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,198
Yeah. Yeah, I know,
it's weird, you know?
403
00:18:11,199 --> 00:18:12,699
Even though it was just a hookup,
404
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:15,827
I felt like we were both,
you know, connected during it.
405
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:19,623
Like we were both there... together.
406
00:18:19,624 --> 00:18:22,292
Yeah, we did make direct eye contact.
407
00:18:22,293 --> 00:18:23,627
Junior, you're not a dildo,
408
00:18:23,628 --> 00:18:25,629
because you care about other people.
409
00:18:25,630 --> 00:18:28,340
But you also care about
what they think way too much.
410
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:29,841
No, but, uh, do you really think that?
411
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,594
Ugh. Get out.
412
00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:34,262
So...
413
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:35,805
You're into eye contact.
414
00:18:35,806 --> 00:18:38,141
Oh, yeah. It is super sexy.
415
00:18:38,142 --> 00:18:39,768
- Is it?
- Mm-hmm, it is.
416
00:18:39,769 --> 00:18:40,936
You bet it is.
417
00:18:40,937 --> 00:18:44,314
Eyes are the nipples of the face.
418
00:18:44,315 --> 00:18:45,607
I took that too far, didn't I?
419
00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:46,942
Yeah, just a little.
420
00:18:46,943 --> 00:18:48,777
But it's okay 'cause you're cute.
421
00:18:57,036 --> 00:19:00,205
Thanks for the benefit, friend.
422
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:01,581
Kinda surprised you called so soon.
423
00:19:01,582 --> 00:19:03,708
Mm. What can I say?
424
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,544
You just happened to cross my mind.
425
00:19:11,175 --> 00:19:14,636
I thought intimate wasn't your vibe.
426
00:19:14,637 --> 00:19:19,432
Maybe you're my vibe.
427
00:19:23,813 --> 00:19:25,772
You know, when you're
young, it's easy to feel like
428
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:28,108
you have no control
over how people see you.
429
00:19:28,109 --> 00:19:31,945
But college can be an
opportunity to reinvent yourself.
430
00:19:31,946 --> 00:19:35,532
So maybe I'll try something
a little different.
431
00:19:35,533 --> 00:19:37,325
Yo, Cristy.
432
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:39,411
What's up, Five Star?
433
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,579
You know what's up.
434
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:44,708
This is the official
start of my ho phase.
435
00:19:44,709 --> 00:19:47,377
Um, so I was thinking, you, me, later.
436
00:19:47,378 --> 00:19:48,879
- I'm down.
- Okay.
437
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,925
- Thank you.
- This is my song.
438
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,469
- It's hard.
- Yeah.
439
00:19:55,470 --> 00:19:56,553
Here you go.
440
00:19:56,554 --> 00:19:57,804
- Thank you, man.
- Thank you.
441
00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,890
Hey, big cheers to my
brother in the eyes.
442
00:19:59,891 --> 00:20:01,908
Wait. I think I know you.
443
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,368
Oh, dude, I've been getting that a lot.
444
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,829
You see, Cal U's been putting
my picture all up over campus.
445
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,190
Urinals, bus ads... it's annoying.
446
00:20:08,191 --> 00:20:09,499
No, I don't think that's it.
447
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,708
But I think we were
there at the same time.
448
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,294
Do you remember me?
449
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:16,130
Chad. This is my microbrewery.
450
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,508
- Chad.
- Chad.
451
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:21,135
Chad.
452
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,720
Chad.
453
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,265
This is my microbrewery.
454
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,141
Do you remember me?
455
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:30,270
Take Chad Filipan. No stars.
456
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:31,771
No stars.
457
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:32,855
He'll never be able to live down...
458
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,443
No stars.
459
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:40,071
- Spoon Dong.
- Spoon Dong.
460
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,614
Oh, shoot.
461
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,575
- I ordered sausages.
- Yes.
462
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:47,453
So, you guys still keep
up with the old gang or...
463
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:48,497
Spoon Dong.
464
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,053
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
33023
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