Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,562 --> 00:00:08,695
D'oh!
2
00:00:16,463 --> 00:00:17,795
D'oh!
3
00:00:17,831 --> 00:00:23,665
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
4
00:00:39,045 --> 00:00:40,222
Hey.
5
00:00:58,094 --> 00:01:01,896
old lady... kids...
6
00:01:01,965 --> 00:01:04,632
then the fire go out...
7
00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:06,601
stupid Flanders.
8
00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:08,869
Beer...
9
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:11,324
Only good will come of you.
10
00:01:11,349 --> 00:01:14,875
Hey, it looks like
I just invented English. Ha!
11
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:17,282
- Whuh?
- I think I'll build a tavern.
12
00:01:17,407 --> 00:01:20,742
Of course, it won't be
as clean and nice as this swamp.
13
00:01:26,229 --> 00:01:29,624
Homie, we can't keep inviting
so many people to Thanksgiving.
14
00:01:29,649 --> 00:01:31,186
They all drink too much.
15
00:01:32,606 --> 00:01:34,639
Use your words. Who do we cut?
16
00:01:34,675 --> 00:01:37,095
- Flanders.
- We don't invite him.
17
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,036
Let's invite, then dis-invite him.
18
00:01:39,060 --> 00:01:41,504
OK. I know this is a
tough one but... Moe?
19
00:01:41,528 --> 00:01:45,281
Remember last yeat? His plus-one?
20
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:46,781
Oh, yeah!
21
00:01:47,968 --> 00:01:49,544
Why won't you let me pop her?
22
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,230
No. It's bad juju.
23
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:58,750
So, um... we are tipping
Thanksgiving super small this year.
24
00:01:58,774 --> 00:02:01,457
Yeah, I understand. I won't
tell no one I'm invited.
25
00:02:01,481 --> 00:02:03,931
Hey, I was thinking of making,
uh, slivered green beans,
26
00:02:03,956 --> 00:02:05,009
little bits of bacon,
a tough one, but... Moe?
27
00:02:05,034 --> 00:02:06,931
pearl onions in there.
28
00:02:06,956 --> 00:02:08,707
What's the matter?
You don't like pearl onions?
29
00:02:08,742 --> 00:02:11,476
Next you'll be badmouthin' shallots!
30
00:02:11,511 --> 00:02:12,611
Actually...
31
00:02:12,646 --> 00:02:14,579
you're not invited.
32
00:02:14,615 --> 00:02:17,649
And this is how I find out, huh?
By you telling me in person?
33
00:02:17,684 --> 00:02:19,684
Gently? With-with plenty of notice?!
34
00:02:19,753 --> 00:02:22,354
I'm sorry, man. I'm-I'm really sorry.
35
00:02:22,389 --> 00:02:23,588
Hey, no problem.
36
00:02:23,624 --> 00:02:25,724
I mean, I'm just your bartender, right?
37
00:02:25,759 --> 00:02:27,626
No women, no buddies...
38
00:02:27,661 --> 00:02:30,795
Ah, thank God, a friend!
39
00:02:30,831 --> 00:02:32,985
Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking.
40
00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:37,173
Uh, hello. I'm looking for
a Mr. Buttface, first name Ima.
41
00:02:37,297 --> 00:02:40,338
Ima? Nobody's been named that
in, like, a hundred years.
42
00:02:40,374 --> 00:02:43,475
And as for the rest, why don't
you double-check that name, huh?
43
00:02:43,543 --> 00:02:45,644
Try saying it out loud.
44
00:02:45,712 --> 00:02:48,052
- Ima Buttface?
- Haw-haw!
45
00:02:48,077 --> 00:02:50,435
Yeah, well, mistakes are
how we learn there, young fella.
46
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:53,652
Good luck in your, uh,
your journey into adulthood.
47
00:02:53,687 --> 00:02:55,353
Dude, that was lame.
48
00:02:55,389 --> 00:02:57,055
And I'm the king of lame.
49
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,104
I dream about needlepoint.
50
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,662
Maybe we should
just give up these prank calls.
51
00:03:03,697 --> 00:03:05,597
Yeah. No more little prank calls.
52
00:03:05,632 --> 00:03:08,600
We're gonna go hard core!
53
00:03:08,635 --> 00:03:11,821
Hard core? The only thing
my mom's never done.
54
00:03:11,846 --> 00:03:13,086
I'm so proud of her.
55
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,095
So, you're looking
56
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:18,156
to acquire some
military-grade mischief makers?
57
00:03:18,181 --> 00:03:21,916
I cannot and I will not sell
such items to minors.
58
00:03:23,451 --> 00:03:26,523
Welcome to the dark net,
the devil's URL.
59
00:03:28,689 --> 00:03:31,323
Even Amazon can't find you here.
60
00:03:31,391 --> 00:03:32,967
Ain't that right, Alexa?
61
00:03:32,992 --> 00:03:34,592
Please, I've done nothing.
62
00:03:34,661 --> 00:03:37,196
Just shut me off. Please.
63
00:03:41,978 --> 00:03:45,032
Welcome to the dark net.
64
00:03:45,057 --> 00:03:47,339
Could you stop that, please?
65
00:03:52,713 --> 00:03:54,779
Whoa! Quit scaring us!
66
00:03:54,848 --> 00:03:56,448
All right.
67
00:04:00,654 --> 00:04:02,530
This is our chance to get back at Moe.
68
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,423
Wait. What did he do to us?
69
00:04:04,591 --> 00:04:06,358
It doesn't matter. Let's do this!
70
00:04:07,594 --> 00:04:09,361
A grenade launcher!
71
00:04:09,396 --> 00:04:12,630
Just like the one my dad
liberated in Afghanistan!
72
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:16,501
I thought your dad just went out
for smokes and never came back.
73
00:04:16,536 --> 00:04:18,370
All right. The truth is,
74
00:04:18,438 --> 00:04:21,583
he left on the first ship
colonizing Mars.
75
00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:23,942
That's why he can't call or send checks.
76
00:04:23,967 --> 00:04:25,477
But he did send me this.
77
00:04:25,512 --> 00:04:27,679
What? That's just a lame-o candy bar.
78
00:04:27,714 --> 00:04:29,714
I need this, Bart!
79
00:04:30,093 --> 00:04:32,059
Fine. Your dad's on Mars.
80
00:04:32,111 --> 00:04:34,786
Haw-haw! You're an enabler!
81
00:04:34,821 --> 00:04:36,488
Deadly. Treason.
82
00:04:36,523 --> 00:04:37,756
Overpriced.
83
00:04:37,791 --> 00:04:39,791
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What about this?
84
00:04:39,826 --> 00:04:44,181
Whoa! That'll break Moe's heart
and his wallet.
85
00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:49,334
Well, hello. I'm Hacky.
86
00:04:49,369 --> 00:04:51,469
Here to help you commit Internet crime.
87
00:04:51,505 --> 00:04:52,905
Do you want to...
88
00:04:52,929 --> 00:04:54,709
A: Submit a false Medicare Claim?
89
00:04:54,733 --> 00:04:56,733
B: Doxx your ex-girlfriend?
90
00:04:56,757 --> 00:04:58,744
Or C; Hack into PayPal?
91
00:04:58,745 --> 00:05:02,380
But if we're caught,
I morph into Snitchy the weasel
92
00:05:02,416 --> 00:05:04,950
and give all your information
to the FBI.
93
00:05:09,955 --> 00:05:12,287
To continue, click "agree."
94
00:05:16,329 --> 00:05:18,696
The "package" should be arriving now.
95
00:05:18,732 --> 00:05:20,465
Cool!
96
00:05:20,534 --> 00:05:22,700
We get to see a taxi.
97
00:05:28,358 --> 00:05:29,895
Is this the residence
98
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:34,313
of successful American
businessman, uh, Moe Szyslak?
99
00:05:34,338 --> 00:05:35,798
Uh, who wants to know?
100
00:05:35,823 --> 00:05:38,650
Anastasia Alekhova, his new wife.
101
00:05:38,675 --> 00:05:42,360
His... wi-i-ife?!
102
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,524
Dark net rules!
103
00:05:46,593 --> 00:05:49,283
And no state sales tax! Boo-yeah!
104
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,869
Well this is a contract and it
is my electronic signture
105
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,035
which I assume is impossible to fake,
106
00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:57,637
but I did not order no mail-order bride!
107
00:05:57,716 --> 00:05:59,504
- I understand.
- Good.
108
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,234
You see me in person,
and you do not want me.
109
00:06:02,259 --> 00:06:04,269
No, no. You got it all wrong.
110
00:06:04,338 --> 00:06:07,075
It's me. I can't take
another heartbreak.
111
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,754
My only friends are the ghosts
that came with the bar.
112
00:06:10,965 --> 00:06:13,545
♪ Drinkity drink da drink da drink ♪
113
00:06:13,614 --> 00:06:16,946
♪ I woke up in a henhouse this morn ♪
114
00:06:16,971 --> 00:06:19,261
♪ Drinkity drink da drink da drink ♪
115
00:06:19,286 --> 00:06:21,487
♪ But I still wasn't drunk ♪
116
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:24,590
♪ As the day I was born. ♪
117
00:06:24,725 --> 00:06:26,525
Back in my head, Fats.
118
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,161
Oh, there's a lot
of dark thoughts in there.
119
00:06:29,186 --> 00:06:30,726
I didn't wanna die here.
120
00:06:30,751 --> 00:06:33,032
I just came in to use the phone.
121
00:06:33,701 --> 00:06:35,434
Sweetheart, we'll straighten this out.
122
00:06:35,503 --> 00:06:37,302
I'll overnight youse back to Russia,
123
00:06:37,371 --> 00:06:39,505
and, oh, boy, I'm sorry
to say this, but, uh...
124
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,206
but on Delta.
125
00:06:42,126 --> 00:06:43,408
Where are my manners?
126
00:06:43,477 --> 00:06:48,514
Let me show you around. Uh,
pool table, uh, jukebox...
127
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:49,942
Barney.
128
00:06:51,552 --> 00:06:52,950
We have alcoholics, too.
129
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,220
But ours are thin, with ropey muscles.
130
00:06:55,322 --> 00:06:56,555
What's this?
131
00:06:56,657 --> 00:06:58,173
Ah, that's the Love Tester.
132
00:06:58,198 --> 00:06:59,525
You just stick a nickel in it,
133
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,593
and it tells you what's in your heart.
134
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,465
Uh-oh, am I falling for her?
135
00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:08,433
I think it knows what I'm feeling.
136
00:07:09,301 --> 00:07:11,336
And what I'm having for dinner.
137
00:07:11,405 --> 00:07:12,504
Who can guess
138
00:07:12,573 --> 00:07:15,474
what oil I sautéed these vegetables in?
139
00:07:15,543 --> 00:07:17,576
Olive? Canola?
140
00:07:17,678 --> 00:07:19,378
Oh, not this game.
141
00:07:19,403 --> 00:07:21,547
Coconut? Grape-seed?
142
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:23,482
Yeah, fantastic conversation, Marge.
143
00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:25,651
I don't hear an oil.
144
00:07:25,719 --> 00:07:27,553
- Peanut?
- Guess again.
145
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,188
Um, sunflower?
146
00:07:29,256 --> 00:07:30,322
Walnut?
147
00:07:31,592 --> 00:07:33,995
No, no and no.
148
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,328
This is why I had kids.
149
00:07:36,397 --> 00:07:38,363
The answer is...
150
00:07:38,388 --> 00:07:40,499
- Finally.
- Vegetable oil!
151
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,401
Hey, vegetable oil! Good one, Marge.
152
00:07:42,436 --> 00:07:45,304
Did you hear Moe accidentally
bought a wife online?
153
00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:49,958
Excuse me. How can mail-order brides
154
00:07:49,983 --> 00:07:52,231
still be a thing in this day and age?
155
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:56,209
Lisa, ignorant men
and foolish women sometimes do
156
00:07:56,278 --> 00:07:58,411
dumb things to find love.
157
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,567
Or maybe it was a master hack
158
00:08:01,592 --> 00:08:04,184
by an unknown genius. Ahem.
159
00:08:04,253 --> 00:08:06,978
Maybe this will turn out great for Moe.
160
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:09,666
Sometimes arranged marriages
are the best.
161
00:08:09,691 --> 00:08:11,691
I mean, look at Tevye and Golde.
162
00:08:11,793 --> 00:08:15,695
They had a wonderful life
with that fiddler in the shtetl.
163
00:08:15,764 --> 00:08:17,531
It wasn't that great for Tzeitel.
164
00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:20,133
Ugh! How many times
do I have to tell you
165
00:08:20,158 --> 00:08:23,336
that Lazar Wolf the butcher
was a good provider!
166
00:08:23,438 --> 00:08:25,405
Well, I'm not marrying a butcher.
167
00:08:25,473 --> 00:08:27,814
Young lady, you should be so lucky
168
00:08:27,839 --> 00:08:29,772
if that Van Houten is a butcher.
169
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:31,661
I'm not marrying Milhouse!
170
00:08:31,686 --> 00:08:33,510
Oy! She won't marry a butcher.
171
00:08:33,535 --> 00:08:37,237
She won't marry Milhouse.
What is a father to do?
172
00:08:37,421 --> 00:08:40,322
♪ What is a man with
three little children ♪
173
00:08:40,391 --> 00:08:42,691
♪ Three little children to do? ♪
174
00:08:42,726 --> 00:08:44,359
♪ I'll tell y... ♪
175
00:08:45,385 --> 00:08:46,484
Hey, uh, listen,
176
00:08:46,797 --> 00:08:49,431
if you want to stay a few more days,
177
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,633
uh, it's fine with... Whoa, whoa!
178
00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:54,669
I ain't seen fresh flowers
since my ma died.
179
00:08:54,738 --> 00:08:57,110
She got hit by a flower truck.
180
00:08:57,135 --> 00:08:59,001
Let's try this place. It looks cute.
181
00:08:59,026 --> 00:09:00,442
I've never been inside before.
182
00:09:00,467 --> 00:09:02,334
I thought it was a horrible dive.
183
00:09:02,579 --> 00:09:04,326
Well, I thought it was a crack house.
184
00:09:04,351 --> 00:09:06,681
But now I'd like a glass of white wine.
185
00:09:06,706 --> 00:09:08,550
There's a white wine? I mean, yeah!
186
00:09:08,619 --> 00:09:10,318
I'll be right with you.
187
00:09:12,456 --> 00:09:14,945
Whoa! Look at all the meat in the seats!
188
00:09:14,984 --> 00:09:17,759
That grosses me out. Good-bye.
189
00:09:17,828 --> 00:09:20,383
Would you look at me? My mouth
is running like a toilet!
190
00:09:20,408 --> 00:09:21,696
Outrageous!
191
00:09:21,765 --> 00:09:23,224
Wait, wait, wait.
192
00:09:23,249 --> 00:09:25,500
Uh, my friend speaks like peasant,
193
00:09:25,602 --> 00:09:28,664
but he makes a whiskey sour to die for.
194
00:09:28,689 --> 00:09:30,405
What the hell's a whiskey sour?
195
00:09:30,507 --> 00:09:31,640
Will you be quiet?
196
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:32,774
Come back in.
197
00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:35,710
I promise you a safe, happy time.
198
00:09:38,782 --> 00:09:40,691
- Looks good.
- I feel better.
199
00:09:42,686 --> 00:09:44,453
So, Moe, I do good?
200
00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:46,521
I work hard, clean up bar.
201
00:09:46,623 --> 00:09:49,591
I even chase out moose and squirrel.
202
00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:51,693
Hey, let's take
our patronage elsewhere, Moose.
203
00:09:51,795 --> 00:09:55,497
Duh, what's a patronage? Duh.
204
00:09:59,770 --> 00:10:03,002
Oh, look, Anastasia,
it ain't that I don't like ya.
205
00:10:03,027 --> 00:10:04,606
I like ya plenty.
206
00:10:04,631 --> 00:10:06,374
Too plenty.
207
00:10:07,343 --> 00:10:09,578
Here's the sad truth about me.
208
00:10:09,646 --> 00:10:12,380
Every time I give my heart to a woman,
209
00:10:12,449 --> 00:10:14,549
it gets broke into a hundred pieces.
210
00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:17,619
My first crush...
211
00:10:17,721 --> 00:10:20,388
So, I really like ya,
and I was wondering,
212
00:10:20,457 --> 00:10:23,725
you know, maybe we could go
to a movie or-or something?
213
00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:26,394
Give me one second.
214
00:10:34,738 --> 00:10:36,805
You gotta come out sometime!
215
00:10:36,874 --> 00:10:39,533
We've been using the back door.
216
00:10:39,963 --> 00:10:41,877
Aw, damn it.
217
00:10:41,912 --> 00:10:44,813
Then a couple of years ago,
sweet Maya...
218
00:10:44,882 --> 00:10:48,750
And then, of course, Laney Fontaine.
219
00:10:48,819 --> 00:10:50,619
I'm through with ya, Moe!
220
00:10:50,644 --> 00:10:52,654
You're a worthless train to nowhere,
221
00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:54,564
and this is my stop!
222
00:10:54,589 --> 00:10:57,592
Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
223
00:10:59,652 --> 00:11:03,382
She won a Tony tearing me apart,
yet I left humming the songs.
224
00:11:03,407 --> 00:11:06,724
Poor Moe. In Russia, we have
word for people like you:
225
00:11:08,728 --> 00:11:11,049
Oh, that sounds nice, what does it mean?
226
00:11:11,074 --> 00:11:14,398
It means "gentle heart
that no one sees."
227
00:11:14,467 --> 00:11:15,700
Wow, that's beautiful.
228
00:11:15,768 --> 00:11:17,401
Maybe I should learn Russian.
229
00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:19,004
No, don't do that.
230
00:11:19,029 --> 00:11:22,540
But if you want me to, I'll go.
231
00:11:22,609 --> 00:11:24,675
Wait. I can't let you go like that.
232
00:11:26,104 --> 00:11:28,412
Can you take these bottles
to the recycling?
233
00:11:28,481 --> 00:11:30,381
Keep the nickels for yourself.
234
00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:36,787
Delivery for Dr. Ima Buttface.
235
00:11:36,856 --> 00:11:38,836
That's me. Where do I sign?
236
00:11:38,861 --> 00:11:40,598
Uh, nowhere. I was never here.
237
00:11:40,623 --> 00:11:43,461
But I would appreciate
a good review on Dark Yelp.
238
00:11:43,563 --> 00:11:46,731
Any less than three stars and, uh...
239
00:11:48,868 --> 00:11:52,296
Ho-ho. One Sumatran Breeding Rat,
240
00:11:52,321 --> 00:11:54,438
already in labor.
241
00:11:54,507 --> 00:11:56,091
You paid for mail-order rats
242
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,543
when your grandfather's
nursing home is full of them?
243
00:11:58,611 --> 00:12:00,745
All right, boy. I'm gonna find out
244
00:12:00,847 --> 00:12:03,447
just what you've been up to.
245
00:12:06,586 --> 00:12:08,553
Oh, Mom, thank God.
246
00:12:08,578 --> 00:12:10,354
This one's brighter.
247
00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:11,556
Now talk.
248
00:12:11,691 --> 00:12:13,558
What are you up to?
249
00:12:13,626 --> 00:12:15,560
All right, we'll make you talk.
250
00:12:15,595 --> 00:12:17,328
Give me your phone.
251
00:12:27,807 --> 00:12:29,640
That poor rice.
252
00:12:29,709 --> 00:12:31,178
I'm gonna dunk your phone
253
00:12:31,203 --> 00:12:33,744
and there won't be any rice to save it.
254
00:12:35,582 --> 00:12:36,747
Okay, okay.
255
00:12:36,772 --> 00:12:38,897
I ordered Moe's mail-order bride.
256
00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:41,719
You're gonna be punished, boy.
257
00:12:41,821 --> 00:12:44,622
What about Moe? That poor, lonely man.
258
00:12:44,691 --> 00:12:46,310
Right as always, Marge.
259
00:12:46,335 --> 00:12:47,874
I'll head directly to Moe's.
260
00:12:47,899 --> 00:12:49,493
It's the only decent thing to do.
261
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:51,096
- Yes. Good.
- Good.
262
00:12:51,121 --> 00:12:53,598
I might have to console him
till closing time...
263
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:57,735
Well, now that it's just you,
no punishment, right?
264
00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:59,670
I used a computer.
265
00:12:59,772 --> 00:13:02,239
Isn't that wonderful?
266
00:13:02,342 --> 00:13:03,741
Ooh.
267
00:13:10,683 --> 00:13:13,250
Start again.
268
00:13:19,692 --> 00:13:21,759
Moe, I'm here to apologize.
269
00:13:21,828 --> 00:13:23,345
It don't matter, she's gone.
270
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:26,202
She's working at the Russian
Tea Room in Ogdenville.
271
00:13:26,227 --> 00:13:28,633
It was my no-good kid
that ordered your wife.
272
00:13:28,735 --> 00:13:30,668
It don't matter. Nothing matters.
273
00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:34,538
Hey, Moe. You think I haven't
been disappointed by love?
274
00:13:34,607 --> 00:13:37,541
Well, I haven't,
but you've got to get her back.
275
00:13:37,610 --> 00:13:39,477
Okay, I'll go to Ogdenville.
276
00:13:39,545 --> 00:13:41,379
I'll get her back.
277
00:13:41,447 --> 00:13:44,985
For once in my life I ain't
gonna be afraid of getting hurt.
278
00:13:45,685 --> 00:13:47,171
Follow your dreams.
279
00:13:47,196 --> 00:13:48,686
I'm following mine.
280
00:13:48,721 --> 00:13:50,421
Where's Moe?
281
00:13:54,761 --> 00:13:56,225
Is Anastasia here?
282
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,628
She's just getting off work.
283
00:13:57,697 --> 00:13:58,729
Ah, great, perfect.
284
00:13:58,798 --> 00:14:00,531
I'm, uh, I'm gonna win her back.
285
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:01,861
That's nice.
286
00:14:01,886 --> 00:14:04,568
You probably should check
with her boyfriend.
287
00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:06,965
You look just like the Pennywise.
288
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:08,519
I know. It's terrible.
289
00:14:08,544 --> 00:14:12,443
Now when I'm in the gutter and
call kids for help, nothin'.
290
00:14:13,306 --> 00:14:14,745
She's got a boyfriend?
291
00:14:14,814 --> 00:14:16,614
Boy, you never know how much
292
00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:19,350
you really love something
until you've lost it.
293
00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:22,420
Did you ever lose anything?
294
00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:24,522
My husband, my home
295
00:14:24,624 --> 00:14:26,624
and TV show Armenian Idol.
296
00:14:26,759 --> 00:14:28,592
- Twice.
- Yeah.
297
00:14:33,515 --> 00:14:35,620
I never should've told her to go.
298
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:37,568
Uh, look, Moe, I'll tell you
how to get her back, okay?
299
00:14:37,603 --> 00:14:39,670
You take her to dinner,
nice and romantic.
300
00:14:39,705 --> 00:14:41,672
Look into her eyes and remind her
301
00:14:41,707 --> 00:14:43,874
that she is under contract to marry you.
302
00:14:43,909 --> 00:14:47,202
I don't know, man,
that doesn't seem, uh, woke.
303
00:14:47,227 --> 00:14:48,746
And I'm-I'm woke as hell.
304
00:14:48,781 --> 00:14:51,961
It doesn't matter how it
started, you two fell in love.
305
00:14:51,986 --> 00:14:54,852
It's like the kind of movie we wish
Tom Hanks would go back to making.
306
00:14:54,887 --> 00:14:58,555
I know. How many captains
can one guy play?
307
00:14:58,591 --> 00:14:59,823
You're right about that.
308
00:14:59,859 --> 00:15:01,525
You're right about everything, you guys.
309
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,172
You know what? I'm gonna do it.
310
00:15:03,197 --> 00:15:04,428
Oh, my God, I've got hope.
311
00:15:04,463 --> 00:15:06,397
I-I'm lookin' forward to the future.
312
00:15:06,432 --> 00:15:08,832
Fellas, I'm gonna put on pants.
313
00:15:08,868 --> 00:15:10,534
Dah, dah-dah, dah!
314
00:15:11,837 --> 00:15:13,804
Now just so you know, technically,
315
00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:15,839
I'm still married to Rita Moreno.
316
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,441
Psst. Over here.
317
00:15:17,476 --> 00:15:18,542
Here. Hey, please?
318
00:15:18,577 --> 00:15:21,445
Uh, excuse me, Krusteleh.
319
00:15:22,615 --> 00:15:24,190
Now, dear, I'm a little nervous,
320
00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:26,617
because, uh, I got something
real important to say.
321
00:15:26,652 --> 00:15:29,686
You had a good thing going
and you ruined it.
322
00:15:29,722 --> 00:15:31,622
Uh, not for the first time, either.
323
00:15:31,657 --> 00:15:35,013
You know my bar was originally
an eight-story hotel?
324
00:15:35,295 --> 00:15:37,240
What does this have to do with me?
325
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:39,596
This time, it's not too late... I hope.
326
00:15:39,632 --> 00:15:41,432
I love you, Ana.
327
00:15:41,467 --> 00:15:43,801
I don't know how I feel right now, Moe.
328
00:15:43,869 --> 00:15:47,164
But if you promise me a wedding
according to my traditions,
329
00:15:47,189 --> 00:15:48,672
a deal is a deal.
330
00:15:48,707 --> 00:15:50,383
"A deal is a deal."
331
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,876
How I have longed to hear those words.
332
00:15:52,912 --> 00:15:55,546
Sorry, Krusty. It's over.
333
00:15:55,581 --> 00:16:00,484
No, no! I just got TMZ here
to film our relationship.
334
00:16:00,519 --> 00:16:02,058
We got a breakup, even better.
335
00:16:02,083 --> 00:16:03,520
Zoom in on his broken heart.
336
00:16:03,556 --> 00:16:05,656
No. No, no, no.
337
00:16:05,724 --> 00:16:08,352
No.
338
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,661
Need another take?
339
00:16:21,474 --> 00:16:25,261
Hey! Can I get a little service here?
340
00:16:25,286 --> 00:16:27,678
Yeah. Uh, excuse me.
I'm also working this event.
341
00:16:27,713 --> 00:16:29,446
Your own marriage?
342
00:16:29,482 --> 00:16:30,747
Tastefully. Tastefully.
343
00:16:30,783 --> 00:16:34,418
And we are waiting on one
very special guest.
344
00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:35,786
Duffman is here.
345
00:16:35,821 --> 00:16:38,622
With these Duff Drink-A-Day Calendars.
346
00:16:38,691 --> 00:16:41,725
There's something brewing
every day of the year.
347
00:16:41,794 --> 00:16:44,461
Except for Pearl Harbor Day.
348
00:16:44,497 --> 00:16:46,463
Never forget.
349
00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:49,566
Now let's get the show on the road.
350
00:16:49,602 --> 00:16:52,569
Duffman has a beer mitzvah at 4:00.
351
00:16:52,605 --> 00:16:54,471
Putting the brew in Hebrew.
352
00:16:54,507 --> 00:16:55,639
Oh, yeah.
353
00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:03,305
Mom, this costume's embarrassing.
354
00:17:03,330 --> 00:17:05,415
It's your last punishment.
355
00:17:05,451 --> 00:17:07,417
Also, you look cute.
356
00:17:10,978 --> 00:17:14,391
When I was little,
I used to dream of a man
357
00:17:14,426 --> 00:17:17,256
in the most velour tracksuit
there could be,
358
00:17:17,281 --> 00:17:19,496
who would sweep me off to an apartment
359
00:17:19,565 --> 00:17:21,732
shared by only four other families.
360
00:17:21,767 --> 00:17:24,535
I just want to say that
you've made me very happy,
361
00:17:24,570 --> 00:17:27,638
which, uh, boy, I thought
I could never be.
362
00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:29,473
And now the signing
363
00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:32,409
of the traditional orthodox
marriage papers.
364
00:17:32,444 --> 00:17:35,779
Ring boy, please bring my notary stamp.
365
00:17:35,814 --> 00:17:38,685
I can scratch this off my bucket list.
366
00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:40,076
Wait a minute.
367
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:43,720
I've been learning Russian,
on the dark net, and this says,
368
00:17:43,789 --> 00:17:45,656
"Moe gives...
369
00:17:47,793 --> 00:17:50,460
all...
370
00:17:50,496 --> 00:17:51,862
his..."
371
00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:54,598
"personal property to Ana."
372
00:17:54,633 --> 00:17:56,400
This looks airtight.
373
00:17:56,468 --> 00:17:58,702
And believe me, I know marriage law.
374
00:17:58,771 --> 00:18:01,638
Yeah, I read him divorce decrees
to get him to go to sleep.
375
00:18:01,674 --> 00:18:03,574
Boom-chaka-laka!
376
00:18:03,609 --> 00:18:05,409
Ana, is this true?
377
00:18:05,444 --> 00:18:09,110
No. It's just another one
of their stupid pranks.
378
00:18:09,135 --> 00:18:13,417
My sweet Moe, there is no way
to fake what we have.
379
00:18:15,821 --> 00:18:17,821
Oh, I can't do it.
380
00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:19,690
I-I just, I can't risk another
heartbreak.
381
00:18:19,725 --> 00:18:21,758
I'm... I'm sorry.
382
00:18:23,462 --> 00:18:25,796
So, uh, am I still getting paid?
383
00:18:25,831 --> 00:18:28,465
Wait, you're not from Russia?
384
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:29,700
No, Brooklyn.
385
00:18:29,768 --> 00:18:32,536
Back when Brooklyn was Brooklyn.
386
00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:33,837
You know what I mean?
387
00:18:33,872 --> 00:18:35,839
Ana, what about you?
388
00:18:35,874 --> 00:18:38,475
I'm not Russian at all.
389
00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:40,444
I'm from Columbus, Ohio.
390
00:18:40,479 --> 00:18:41,745
That's even worse.
391
00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:43,780
Ana, you're a scam artist.
392
00:18:43,816 --> 00:18:45,549
And one that didn't aim too high.
393
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:46,750
What do you mean?
394
00:18:46,785 --> 00:18:48,452
You know I'm in debt, right?
395
00:18:48,487 --> 00:18:50,587
Serious, serious debt.
396
00:18:50,623 --> 00:18:52,856
Just look at my invites.
397
00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:54,658
You still wanna marry me?
398
00:18:56,495 --> 00:19:00,297
Well, it looks like this just
became a shotgun wedding.
399
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,467
It's time for youse two to leave.
400
00:19:03,535 --> 00:19:05,502
Fine. I'll find another man
401
00:19:05,571 --> 00:19:07,437
and give him what he dreams of.
402
00:19:07,473 --> 00:19:09,373
I just have to, uh...
403
00:19:09,408 --> 00:19:11,675
speak a little like this.
404
00:19:11,744 --> 00:19:14,678
Or maybe Scottish, like...
405
00:19:14,747 --> 00:19:16,713
Oh, do my ears deceive me?
406
00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:19,483
Are you from the Highlands?
407
00:19:19,518 --> 00:19:22,552
Aye. Between Inverness
and the Moray Firth.
408
00:19:22,588 --> 00:19:24,354
Oh, well, you'll love this guy.
409
00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:25,656
He's loaded.
410
00:19:25,691 --> 00:19:28,558
Let's go.
411
00:19:28,594 --> 00:19:32,249
Wait. Why are you wearing
a wedding dress?
412
00:19:32,274 --> 00:19:33,730
Is it because you're a loon
413
00:19:33,766 --> 00:19:36,600
that got stood up and can't get over it?
414
00:19:37,836 --> 00:19:40,704
Just like Mother.
415
00:19:40,739 --> 00:19:42,839
- When are we gonna warn Willie?
- Why do we have to warn Willie?
416
00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:44,708
- He doesn't have any money.
- Okay.
417
00:19:44,743 --> 00:19:46,443
Then when are we gonna warn her?
418
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,678
We don't need to warn her.
419
00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:50,580
Her heart is as cold as
a Rocky Mountain Duff.
420
00:19:50,616 --> 00:19:53,684
D.J. Kirk, let's get this party rockin'.
421
00:19:53,719 --> 00:19:56,820
Did somebody say crank up the volume?
422
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:03,255
- No one said crank up the volume.
- Dammit.
423
00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:13,126
Papa?
424
00:20:14,511 --> 00:20:16,678
Son, it's... it's so great to see you.
425
00:20:18,749 --> 00:20:21,683
I wanna hear everything about
your top secret mission.
426
00:20:21,752 --> 00:20:22,884
Of course. Of course.
427
00:20:22,953 --> 00:20:25,447
Let me just go, uh, get
some space cigarettes
428
00:20:25,472 --> 00:20:27,556
and we'll have a long, long talk.
429
00:20:27,624 --> 00:20:29,340
I'd like that.
430
00:20:29,509 --> 00:20:32,583
Oh, I finally have a dad again.
431
00:20:32,661 --> 00:20:38,779
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
30760
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tatar
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof