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♪ It seems todaythat all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,913 --> 00:00:07,822
♪ Is violence in moviesand sex on TV ♪
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00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:11,677
♪ But where are thosegood old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,828 --> 00:00:14,254
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,406 --> 00:00:17,683
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:21,336
♪ Lucky there's a man whopositively can do ♪
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00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,080
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:25,006
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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The usual, fellas?
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00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,428
Hey, thanks, Jerome.
12
00:00:38,447 --> 00:00:41,098
Whoa, Jerome,
what's with the wheelchair?
13
00:00:41,116 --> 00:00:43,709
Well, it was date night
with my lady friend.
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00:00:43,786 --> 00:00:45,693
I put on some Teddy Pendergrass,
15
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,622
one thing led to another,
and we started making love
16
00:00:48,698 --> 00:00:50,440
halfway up the stairs.
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00:00:50,534 --> 00:00:53,260
Then I lost my footing
and tumbled down half a flight,
18
00:00:53,445 --> 00:00:54,445
buck naked.
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00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:57,948
Well, this is hardly
dinner conversation.
20
00:00:58,041 --> 00:00:59,391
Who's Teddy Pendergrass?
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00:00:59,618 --> 00:01:03,136
He's America's number one cause
of urgent lovemaking injuries.
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00:01:03,289 --> 00:01:06,123
If you're not already in bed
when Teddy starts singing,
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00:01:06,141 --> 00:01:08,049
somebody's going to the E.R.
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00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:11,570
Anyway, I busted my knee
really bad,
25
00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:12,979
so here I am.
26
00:01:13,056 --> 00:01:14,965
Aw, geez, that stinks, Jerome.
27
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:16,219
How long you gonna be
in that chair?
28
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,226
Well, that's the problem.
29
00:01:18,395 --> 00:01:21,080
The doctor said I need surgery
if I'm ever gonna walk again,
30
00:01:21,307 --> 00:01:23,140
but I can't afford it. (sighs)
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00:01:23,233 --> 00:01:25,158
Man, I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
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00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,327
I've got to get up
on my feet again.
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00:01:27,479 --> 00:01:28,662
Relax, it's not so bad.
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00:01:28,814 --> 00:01:30,716
I bet you're gonna discover
some cool new things
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00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,482
that you couldn't do
when you were walking.
36
00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:35,001
- Like what?
- Well, have you yelled at someone
37
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,578
for using the
handicapped stall yet?
38
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,823
That stall is for the
differently-abled, you know.
39
00:01:39,842 --> 00:01:42,250
Well, how do you know it's not
a handicapped person in there?
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00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,828
Look, no chair, no
crutches. Whoever's in there
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00:01:44,921 --> 00:01:47,831
definitely shouldn't be!
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00:01:47,924 --> 00:01:50,109
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
43
00:01:50,294 --> 00:01:51,443
Yeah, sure you are.
44
00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:53,170
Hey, you mind
flushing for me, pal?
45
00:01:53,188 --> 00:01:54,338
No arms over here.
46
00:01:54,431 --> 00:01:56,840
Well, I suppose it's
the least I could do.
47
00:01:56,859 --> 00:01:58,692
Oh, my God, it's
bigger than you.
48
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,286
(laughs heartily)
49
00:02:04,183 --> 00:02:05,958
Hey, can you guys
hear me all right?
50
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,609
- Yep.
- Loud and clear.
51
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,794
Fr... in the computer.
52
00:02:08,945 --> 00:02:10,187
What-What'd you, what'd
you say, Cleveland?
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00:02:10,205 --> 00:02:11,333
- You're cutting in and out.
- Damn it.
54
00:02:11,357 --> 00:02:12,667
It's his crappy
Internet service.
55
00:02:12,691 --> 00:02:14,651
- What does he have?
- He hoarded a decade's worth
56
00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:18,378
of those "100 Free Hours"
CDs AOL would send in the mail.
57
00:02:18,530 --> 00:02:20,197
He's chipping away
at 'em one at a time.
58
00:02:20,215 --> 00:02:22,048
Let me... (glitching)
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00:02:22,201 --> 00:02:24,384
(echoing): other room.
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00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,864
All right, we'll
fill him in later.
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00:02:25,888 --> 00:02:26,957
Look, we got to help Jerome
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00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,538
pay for that surgery, you guys.
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00:02:28,632 --> 00:02:30,131
Yeah, but where are we
gonna get that kind of money?
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00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,966
Hello? Hello?
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00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,906
Wait, what if we did
some sort of fundraiser?
66
00:02:33,970 --> 00:02:35,762
Donna, unplug everything.
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00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,972
I need the Internet.
No, not tha...
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00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:39,452
You know, the
local firehouse made
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00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:40,975
a sexy men in uniform calendar,
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00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:43,311
and it raised a ton of money.
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00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,997
Don't tell anybody, but I heard
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00:02:45,224 --> 00:02:47,482
not all 12 of those
guys were from Quahog.
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00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,893
I... Who-who would
we tell that to?
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00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:52,896
I don't know. I'm
just saying... don't.
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00:02:53,065 --> 00:02:54,398
That's actually not a bad idea.
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00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:56,341
We already got
three men in uniform.
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00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:58,235
I'm on the roof
now. Is that bet...
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00:02:58,253 --> 00:02:59,903
- (bird squawking)
- Bird. Bird.
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00:02:59,996 --> 00:03:02,639
Bird stole my laptop.
80
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,835
All right, now remember,
we're going for "sexy,"
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00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,246
so can you undo your shirt?
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00:03:09,264 --> 00:03:10,914
(sighs)
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00:03:10,933 --> 00:03:12,916
There.
84
00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:15,194
(yawns)
85
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,920
Joe, did you skip your nap?
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00:03:16,939 --> 00:03:19,031
I don't need a nap!
You need a nap!
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00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,349
I want to be done.
88
00:03:21,518 --> 00:03:23,851
(shaky breathing)
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00:03:23,946 --> 00:03:26,163
(sobbing)
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00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:29,875
Wait, Joe, Joe,
look. Look over here.
91
00:03:30,102 --> 00:03:32,602
(sniffling) Who's that?
92
00:03:32,696 --> 00:03:34,213
This is our friend Leapy.
93
00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:36,773
Hey, Joe. Can you do me a favor?
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00:03:36,866 --> 00:03:38,942
Okay.
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00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:40,444
Can you be a big boy
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00:03:40,462 --> 00:03:42,612
and unbutton your
shirt for the picture?
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00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:44,640
(sniffles) Yeah.
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00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:48,618
Great, we're all done.
99
00:03:48,787 --> 00:03:49,877
Now take off your pants.
100
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:50,562
What the hell?
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00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:51,788
I said take 'em off.
102
00:03:51,881 --> 00:03:53,974
Joe, don't listen to
Leapy. I was wrong.
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00:03:54,126 --> 00:03:56,652
Leapy is not our
friend. (grunts)
104
00:04:02,484 --> 00:04:04,451
Yeah, that's good.
105
00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:09,489
Okay, Cleveland, you're
mostly out of shape.
106
00:04:09,641 --> 00:04:13,143
Thankfully, all postmen have
mountain climber leg muscles.
107
00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:14,828
Those will be our focus here.
108
00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:16,630
They really that strong-looking?
109
00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:20,259
It's like a lady
bodybuilder's boob.
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00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:22,261
I'm disgusted, but
I can't look away.
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All right, let's get started.
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00:04:26,249 --> 00:04:28,183
That's it. Now thigh me.
113
00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:35,232
There we go. Now throw
that bad boy up on the mailbox.
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00:04:37,019 --> 00:04:38,535
Ah, you're a natural.
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00:04:38,562 --> 00:04:41,780
You're like Gisele, Beyoncé,
and Naomi Campbell all in one.
116
00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:43,097
You're Gisonmi.
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00:04:43,191 --> 00:04:45,933
That's it, Gisonmi.
Gisonmi, yes.
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00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,011
- Gisonmi.
- Hey, guys,
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00:04:48,104 --> 00:04:50,372
I'm just gonna go ahead
and close this, okay?
120
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,293
Getting my house assessed.
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00:05:01,618 --> 00:05:03,552
(indistinct chatter)
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00:05:05,881 --> 00:05:08,365
- Here you go, fellas.
- Hey, Jerome.
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00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:10,011
Great to see you back
on your feet already.
124
00:05:10,035 --> 00:05:12,311
You're telling me.
That calendar of yours
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00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:14,962
paid for my surgery
and then some.
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00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:18,391
Consider your tab paid
up for the whole month.
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00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,061
Wow, did we really
make that much money?
128
00:05:21,213 --> 00:05:22,303
Who's buying all these?
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00:05:22,397 --> 00:05:23,730
Yeah, I figured just our friends
130
00:05:23,882 --> 00:05:24,881
would buy 'em for a laugh.
131
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:27,141
(laughs)
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00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,995
Oh, yeah, we're
having a laugh, all right.
133
00:05:30,222 --> 00:05:34,291
Might say everybody's
having a ball, right, Mr. Brown?
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00:05:35,485 --> 00:05:37,419
(laughter)
135
00:05:40,265 --> 00:05:43,324
What's going on
here? Give me that.
136
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,828
All right, let's start at
my navel and work down.
137
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:50,998
Belt buckled at the third notch,
per postal code regulation.
138
00:05:51,093 --> 00:05:52,517
Shorts securely zipped.
139
00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:54,594
Neatly-pressed crease
running down to...
140
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,521
(gasps) my cocoa pebble!
141
00:05:56,748 --> 00:05:59,006
- Let me see that.
- Oh, yeah, that's a half-scrote
142
00:05:59,101 --> 00:06:01,585
- bad dangle angle right there.
- Oh, no,
143
00:06:01,678 --> 00:06:04,421
the whole town's seen
it. What am I gonna do?
144
00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:05,772
Damn, Mr. Brown.
145
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,758
Larry Bird ought to be diving
through here any second
146
00:06:08,777 --> 00:06:10,369
'cause that's a loose ball.
147
00:06:10,596 --> 00:06:14,097
(laughs) Good job, sweetie.
You're doing the work.
148
00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:15,523
Aw, thanks, Dad.
149
00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:18,460
I learned it all by watching
YouTube videos of Les Dawson.
150
00:06:19,529 --> 00:06:20,995
Who the hell is that?
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00:06:21,106 --> 00:06:23,940
Uh, 1960s British
comic Les Dawson,
152
00:06:23,959 --> 00:06:25,775
famous for his
mother-in-law jokes?
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00:06:25,869 --> 00:06:27,719
Geez, Spencer, do the work.
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00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:35,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
155
00:06:39,307 --> 00:06:41,291
You wanted to see me, sir?
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00:06:41,309 --> 00:06:43,460
Cleveland, let me
ask you something.
157
00:06:43,478 --> 00:06:45,645
Do you have a problem
with the carrying capacity
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00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,907
of your standard-issue
S-1104 canvas satchel?
159
00:06:49,134 --> 00:06:50,134
No, sir.
160
00:06:50,302 --> 00:06:52,411
I see. So then why, may I ask,
161
00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:56,456
do you feel the need to
carry around an extra sack?!
162
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,919
Sir, y-you don't
understand. It was a mistake.
163
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,328
You're damn right it was.
164
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,423
Your little mistake has
made a complete mockery
165
00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:06,483
of the United States
Postal Service.
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00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:10,095
This is a noble institution
that runs on dignity.
167
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,580
That's the reason people
trusted us to deliver
168
00:07:12,674 --> 00:07:16,509
free COVID tests several
months after it was relevant.
169
00:07:16,662 --> 00:07:19,162
- But, sir, I...
- No buts, Cleveland.
170
00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:22,165
You've left me no
choice. You're fired.
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00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:25,502
Now turn in your safari
hat and your ladies' Mace.
172
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,853
This is terrible.
173
00:07:27,005 --> 00:07:29,448
I have such a hard
time saying goodbye.
174
00:07:29,675 --> 00:07:31,858
Guh-buh-buh.
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00:07:32,027 --> 00:07:34,177
Gah-bre-aye.
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00:07:34,196 --> 00:07:36,496
(babbling gibberish)
177
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,279
Hey, chin up, Cleveland. I
know you'll miss being a fireman.
178
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:46,798
- Mailman.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:48,541
That job meant everything to me.
180
00:07:48,694 --> 00:07:51,194
And what about all
the people on my route?
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00:07:51,196 --> 00:07:53,007
There's gonna be a
riot when my regulars
182
00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:54,639
find out I've been replaced.
183
00:07:55,884 --> 00:07:57,684
- Hi.
- Hi.
184
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,812
Huh. Mail before noon.
185
00:08:00,964 --> 00:08:02,872
So, Cleveland, how's
the job hunt going?
186
00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:06,543
I can't even start till that damn
bird brings my laptop back.
187
00:08:06,561 --> 00:08:08,970
I wonder what he
even uses it for.
188
00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:11,239
♪ ♪
189
00:08:14,219 --> 00:08:17,070
Wow! Is that a
third lead guitar?
190
00:08:17,222 --> 00:08:18,997
Let me know in the
comments, guys.
191
00:08:19,190 --> 00:08:22,316
(sighs) Oh, who am I
kidding? You can't replace
192
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,078
working for the United
States Postal Service.
193
00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:27,230
I miss it already.
194
00:08:27,249 --> 00:08:29,007
Oh, I feel useless.
195
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:31,303
Come on, Cleveland. You've
been moping around all week.
196
00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:32,489
You know what?
Why don't you swing by
197
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,306
the brewery tomorrow?
I'll buy you lunch.
198
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,923
Did you say an insensitive
joke and now need to prove
199
00:08:37,075 --> 00:08:39,092
to everyone that you
have a Black friend?
200
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:40,977
See you there, buddy.
201
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:52,680
Thanks for letting me tag
along at the brewery, Peter.
202
00:08:52,774 --> 00:08:54,849
Feels good to have
some routine again.
203
00:08:54,943 --> 00:08:56,851
Ah, crap, look at the line.
204
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,112
Gonna take me forever
to get to the microwave.
205
00:08:59,264 --> 00:09:01,097
Peter, you have a salad.
206
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:02,990
Yeah, now I'm gonna
have to eat it cold.
207
00:09:03,101 --> 00:09:04,701
How am I supposed
to work all day
208
00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:06,861
without a belly
full of hot salad?
209
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,362
Griffin.
210
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,956
What the hell is going on?
211
00:09:10,108 --> 00:09:11,361
We've got a dozen
delivery trucks
212
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,276
that are days behind schedule.
213
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:15,202
I've got distributors
lighting up my phone
214
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,629
like a Christmas phone.
215
00:09:16,706 --> 00:09:18,782
I have a twinkly
phone for the holidays.
216
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,075
It's incredibly festive.
217
00:09:20,077 --> 00:09:21,968
You know, I used
to deliver the mail,
218
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,971
so I know a thing or two
about getting around town.
219
00:09:25,123 --> 00:09:27,715
Mind if this goose
takes a gander?
220
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,626
Hmm, well, for starters,
221
00:09:29,644 --> 00:09:31,196
you've got your
downtown deliveries
222
00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:33,630
scheduled for
Wednesday morning, but...
223
00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:35,034
that's when the street
sweepers come around
224
00:09:35,058 --> 00:09:36,482
and hog the right lane.
225
00:09:36,635 --> 00:09:39,819
You switch to the afternoon,
you'll be done in half the time.
226
00:09:39,971 --> 00:09:42,305
The street sweepers, of course.
227
00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:43,678
What about the other deliveries?
228
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:46,142
Well, no wonder your
eastbound trucks are late.
229
00:09:46,161 --> 00:09:48,995
That stretch of highway's been
under construction for weeks.
230
00:09:49,147 --> 00:09:50,905
That's why all the
mail trucks use...
231
00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:53,133
♪ ♪
232
00:09:56,579 --> 00:09:58,655
What a beautiful mind.
233
00:09:58,673 --> 00:10:00,323
Oh, I didn't see that movie.
234
00:10:00,342 --> 00:10:02,267
I only go to Spider-Mans.
235
00:10:02,494 --> 00:10:04,418
♪ ♪
236
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,496
last stop right
across the river.
237
00:10:06,514 --> 00:10:08,309
You got the toll
bridge in the way, but,
238
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:11,092
nine times out of ten, the
bridge guy's watching TikToks.
239
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,944
You just drive
around, he don't know.
240
00:10:13,096 --> 00:10:16,448
Brilliant. Absolutely
brilliant. What's your name?
241
00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:18,116
Cleveland Brown, sir.
242
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:20,176
Mr. Brown, this operation
243
00:10:20,195 --> 00:10:22,954
could certainly use a
man with your expertise.
244
00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:25,531
How would you like a job
here at the Pawtucket Brewery?
245
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,350
Really? All right!
246
00:10:27,369 --> 00:10:29,535
Excellent. You start tomorrow.
247
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,279
- Hey, way to go, Cleveland.
- Thanks, Peter.
248
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,041
Tonight, me and Donna
are gonna celebrate,
249
00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:36,693
romantically.
250
00:10:36,711 --> 00:10:38,953
And which Teddy
Pendergrass song was playing?
251
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,864
"Turn Out the Lights."
252
00:10:40,882 --> 00:10:42,882
Sir, ma'am,
253
00:10:43,034 --> 00:10:46,019
you're both lucky to be alive.
254
00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:51,708
All right, working
with my best friend.
255
00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:53,042
This is gonna be sweet.
256
00:10:53,136 --> 00:10:55,487
Just a heads up, I
chew ice all day long,
257
00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:58,047
and my computer goes
"bonk" every three seconds.
258
00:10:58,066 --> 00:10:59,824
I hope that doesn't bother you.
259
00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:01,718
(munching)
260
00:11:01,736 --> 00:11:03,856
- (computer makes error
sound) - That's the bonk.
261
00:11:04,055 --> 00:11:06,239
Yeah, uh, you,
you think you could
262
00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:07,982
keep the noise down, Peter?
263
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,984
It is my first day, after all,
264
00:11:10,061 --> 00:11:12,228
and I want to get
some work done.
265
00:11:12,247 --> 00:11:13,730
Tell you what, you can
do all the work you want
266
00:11:13,748 --> 00:11:18,009
right after we take turns
telling scary work stories.
267
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,662
It was a night just like this.
268
00:11:21,756 --> 00:11:24,866
And when the moon is
full, if you close your eyes,
269
00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,926
you can still hear her voice.
270
00:11:27,095 --> 00:11:29,503
(whispers): "Will you sponsor me
271
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,414
for my 5K?"
272
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:34,417
Dang it, Peter. This is
work, not a sleepover.
273
00:11:34,436 --> 00:11:36,419
Now would you
please get out of here?
274
00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:38,421
My 10:00 meeting
is about to start.
275
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,182
Your meeting? But I thought
we were gonna work together.
276
00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:44,869
Yeah, well, I thought I'd
tackle this one on my own.
277
00:11:45,096 --> 00:11:48,206
But maybe you can
get us some coffee?
278
00:11:50,118 --> 00:11:52,004
- (muffled chatter) -
CLEVELAND: touch base...
279
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:53,672
- (muffled chatter)
- circle back...
280
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:55,496
- (muffled chatter)
- put a pin in it...
281
00:11:55,531 --> 00:11:57,716
- (muffled chatter) - but
that's Monday's problem.
282
00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,718
(laughter)
283
00:12:03,131 --> 00:12:05,724
- (truck beeping)
- Wait a minute,
284
00:12:05,951 --> 00:12:08,618
these shipments should have
gone out already. Hey, Peter.
285
00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:11,545
All these trucks were supposed
to be on the road hours ago.
286
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:13,714
Did you make any
changes to my schedule?
287
00:12:13,808 --> 00:12:15,216
No. Oh, you know what?
288
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,126
Yeah, I added a
new rule for safety.
289
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,106
The guys were slapping the
back of the truck two times
290
00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,170
when it was all loaded up,
291
00:12:20,223 --> 00:12:21,983
but then Smitty
got his foot run over,
292
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:25,285
so now I told 'em to do
200 slaps, just to be safe.
293
00:12:34,496 --> 00:12:37,589
- How many was that?
- DRIVER: Uh, 35? 40?
294
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:40,258
I can't tell, we got, like,
six other slappers going.
295
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,596
Griffin, what's going on?
296
00:12:44,747 --> 00:12:47,414
All of our weekly
shipments are late, again.
297
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,268
Mr. Lloyd, I think we
can get back on track
298
00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:52,139
if we just optimize
our load outs.
299
00:12:52,163 --> 00:12:54,255
See, back in my mailman days,
300
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,757
we would pre-sort our
deliveries by destination.
301
00:12:56,926 --> 00:12:58,851
If we bundle the
inventory by invoice
302
00:12:59,004 --> 00:13:00,261
rather than by product type,
303
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,688
it'll expedite the
delivery out on the road.
304
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:05,766
My goodness, why haven't
we been doing that all along?
305
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,768
Cleveland, you've
proven yourself
306
00:13:07,862 --> 00:13:09,621
invaluable to this organization.
307
00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:12,773
I'm hereby promoting you to
Vice Executive Managing Director
308
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,608
in Charge of Lengthy Titles.
309
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,369
Wow, thank you, sir.
310
00:13:16,521 --> 00:13:18,153
Hey, good for you, Cleveland.
311
00:13:18,281 --> 00:13:20,298
Good for all of us.
Good for this department.
312
00:13:20,525 --> 00:13:21,782
And as for you, Griffin,
313
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:25,194
I need you to clear your
things out of your office.
314
00:13:25,213 --> 00:13:27,138
Cleveland is going
to need more room
315
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:28,807
to perform his
managerial duties.
316
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:30,238
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute,
317
00:13:30,368 --> 00:13:32,626
you're kicking me out of
my own office? (chuckles)
318
00:13:32,795 --> 00:13:35,555
You're not, uh, you're
not replacing me, are you?
319
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,557
Oh, no, we're just doing
320
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,725
a little... restructuring.
321
00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:42,712
Besides, you won't need an
office for your new assignment.
322
00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:45,139
I'm putting you in
charge of kitchen banter.
323
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:47,900
What you got
there? Little jet fuel?
324
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,144
Little java?
Little jitter juice?
325
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,055
I'll take a top-off,
if you don't mind.
326
00:13:52,073 --> 00:13:54,607
Yeah, don't talk to me till
I've had my coffee, right?
327
00:13:54,759 --> 00:13:57,502
(long sip)
328
00:13:57,653 --> 00:14:00,229
Hey, how come you were
only pregnant for four months?
329
00:14:00,248 --> 00:14:02,128
- PRESTON: Griffin.
- Sorry, it's my first day.
330
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:10,740
Look, I know this is awkward,
celebrating Cleveland
331
00:14:10,758 --> 00:14:12,091
getting promoted over you,
332
00:14:12,243 --> 00:14:14,313
so we don't have to stay
long if you don't want.
333
00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:16,337
Eh, it's one
night, I'll be fine.
334
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,915
Wait, Peter, where's the
bottle of wine I told you to bring?
335
00:14:19,008 --> 00:14:21,267
Cleveland makes more
money than me now, Lois.
336
00:14:21,419 --> 00:14:23,344
That means we're sneaking
groceries out of this party,
337
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,787
not bringing 'em in.
338
00:14:24,789 --> 00:14:26,680
Can you fit ketchup in
that purse? We're all out.
339
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,660
Damn it. We can't
show up to a dinner party
340
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:32,428
without a $14 empty
gesture. It's improper.
341
00:14:32,447 --> 00:14:34,280
We need to give them something.
342
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,933
Fine. Here.
343
00:14:36,935 --> 00:14:39,711
- (doorbell rings) -
We brought these.
344
00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:41,120
- Oh.
- What?
345
00:14:41,272 --> 00:14:43,623
It's... (sighs) It's nothing.
346
00:14:43,775 --> 00:14:46,867
I guess I just miss being
the one handing out the mail.
347
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:50,129
I'm sorry, they're lovely.
348
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:53,874
(sniffs) Mm. That Lands'
End lady-pants catalog
349
00:14:53,968 --> 00:14:55,968
had quite a bloom this year.
350
00:14:56,121 --> 00:14:58,379
- ♪ ♪
- (indistinct chatter)
351
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,432
Then I said, "Ain't that the
punch line to an anecdote."
352
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:03,292
(laughter)
353
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:04,885
So, what does this
promotion mean?
354
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,185
Are you, like, Peter's boss now?
355
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,055
We're all on the same team.
356
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,556
Ah, that means yes.
357
00:15:09,684 --> 00:15:12,577
Hey, Cleveland, how about a
quick speech for our guests?
358
00:15:12,804 --> 00:15:14,895
GUESTS: Yeah, speech, speech!
359
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:17,064
Or maybe just cover
it in a group text later.
360
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,158
All right, all
right, settle down.
361
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,327
I'd like to thank y'all
for coming tonight
362
00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:23,829
to celebrate my new
job at the brewery.
363
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:25,906
It ain't as good
as delivering bills,
364
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,317
but it sure does pay the bills.
365
00:15:28,336 --> 00:15:29,928
(laughter)
366
00:15:30,121 --> 00:15:32,597
- What a great speech.
- He's so important now.
367
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:35,516
Do you think it's okay I
used the upstairs bathroom?
368
00:15:38,379 --> 00:15:40,496
It was bad enough
with Mr. Lloyd thinking
369
00:15:40,515 --> 00:15:43,332
Cleveland's better than me.
Now it's all our friends, too.
370
00:15:43,426 --> 00:15:45,226
Oh, stop feeling
sorry for yourself.
371
00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:47,445
You think I'm thrilled my
husband got demoted?
372
00:15:47,596 --> 00:15:49,408
Bonnie's already
rented one of those cars
373
00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:50,840
with a loudspeaker on top.
374
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,283
She's telling everyone.
375
00:15:52,435 --> 00:15:53,912
BONNIE (over loudspeaker):
People of Spooner Street,
376
00:15:53,936 --> 00:15:55,861
Lois's husband got demoted.
377
00:15:56,014 --> 00:15:57,438
They're poorer now.
378
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:01,017
Repeat, Lois's
family is now poorer.
379
00:16:01,035 --> 00:16:02,868
Use this as motivation.
380
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,370
Think of how good it'll feel
381
00:16:04,522 --> 00:16:06,780
to prove your friends
and Mr. Lloyd wrong.
382
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,709
Now I'm gonna take an
incredibly quick lady dump.
383
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,803
- Prove 'em wrong, huh?
- LOIS: Done.
384
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:12,972
(toilet flushes)
385
00:16:13,198 --> 00:16:15,622
That's exactly what I'll do.
386
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,562
I bet they won't think
Cleveland's so great
387
00:16:17,626 --> 00:16:18,884
when I get him fired.
388
00:16:19,037 --> 00:16:22,796
Hey, Dad, how's it going?
Have fun at the Browns'?
389
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,374
I couldn't steal the ketchup.
There were eyes on me all night.
390
00:16:25,393 --> 00:16:27,226
- Son of a bitch!
- There he is.
391
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,304
- He didn't get the ketchup.
- Damn it!
392
00:16:30,398 --> 00:16:33,216
STEWIE: Hey, these
chicken nuggies are bone-dry.
393
00:16:33,234 --> 00:16:35,201
What did he say
about the ketchup?
394
00:16:43,486 --> 00:16:45,745
What's going on?
Why'd everything stop?
395
00:16:45,897 --> 00:16:49,081
Hello, I'm Inspector Daniels
from the Health Department.
396
00:16:49,234 --> 00:16:52,326
That's a backstage
pass from a Muse concert.
397
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,495
Huh, I guess it is, isn't it?
398
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,756
I received an anonymous
tip that there's a rat
399
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,275
nesting in the main beer
tank. I'm here to check it out.
400
00:16:59,277 --> 00:17:01,668
- What's this now?
- Well, I sure hope not.
401
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:05,064
I'd lose my job if there was
any filth of that nature going on.
402
00:17:13,758 --> 00:17:16,592
Hmm, maybe I misheard
the tipster. (chuckles)
403
00:17:16,611 --> 00:17:19,370
Yeah, ears haven't really
been the same since I saw Muse
404
00:17:19,597 --> 00:17:21,637
from basically as close
as you're allowed to get.
405
00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:22,782
I'll try him back.
406
00:17:22,934 --> 00:17:24,208
(phone rings)
407
00:17:24,435 --> 00:17:26,285
Rat-a-tat-tat, you've
reached Peter the rat.
408
00:17:26,437 --> 00:17:27,581
- (gasps)
- (phone beeps)
409
00:17:27,605 --> 00:17:30,214
Well, I'm sorry someone
wasted your time,
410
00:17:30,441 --> 00:17:33,442
but as you can see,
everything here is up to code.
411
00:17:33,461 --> 00:17:34,944
Have a good day.
412
00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:38,372
I found your rat in the tank
during my rounds this morning.
413
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:42,376
- Why'd you do it, Peter?
- (sighs) I'm sorry.
414
00:17:42,453 --> 00:17:44,211
It's just, with you doing
so well at the brewery,
415
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,230
I felt like a joke.
416
00:17:46,382 --> 00:17:48,215
I knew I was never
gonna be a big shot here,
417
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,552
but I liked playing my small
part to help make this beer.
418
00:17:51,646 --> 00:17:54,572
Before you started, that
small part felt like enough.
419
00:17:54,723 --> 00:17:58,134
Griffin, I was just informed
that you tried to sabotage
420
00:17:58,152 --> 00:18:00,578
this operation by putting
vermin in the beer tank.
421
00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:02,914
This is the last straw, Griffin.
422
00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:04,582
You are fired.
423
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:08,628
Fine. I'm not good enough
for this place anyway.
424
00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:13,257
Wait.
425
00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:15,501
You can't fire Peter, sir.
426
00:18:15,653 --> 00:18:18,429
- And why's that?
- Because you need him.
427
00:18:18,581 --> 00:18:21,248
Sure, companies need
some people to work hard
428
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,750
and go the extra mile,
but more than that,
429
00:18:23,845 --> 00:18:25,252
they need guys like Peter,
430
00:18:25,346 --> 00:18:28,088
regular guys who are
happy to do a thankless job
431
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:31,258
for a mediocre salary,
day in and day out,
432
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,760
so long as that day
ends with a cold beer
433
00:18:33,855 --> 00:18:36,005
and a best friend
to share it with.
434
00:18:36,023 --> 00:18:37,782
If you fire Peter Griffin,
435
00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:40,009
sir, you fire your customer,
436
00:18:40,027 --> 00:18:41,527
the beer-loving everyman
437
00:18:41,679 --> 00:18:45,014
that makes up the hunched
backbone of this country.
438
00:18:45,032 --> 00:18:47,792
Cleveland, you're right.
439
00:18:47,943 --> 00:18:50,186
Griffin here is
perfectly mediocre,
440
00:18:50,204 --> 00:18:52,964
and America runs on mediocre.
441
00:18:53,191 --> 00:18:55,040
You know, that's
the kind of insight
442
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,968
I need coming from up top.
443
00:18:57,195 --> 00:18:59,804
How'd you like to join
me on the executive floor?
444
00:18:59,955 --> 00:19:03,457
I appreciate the offer,
sir, but I can't accept.
445
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,702
In fact, I'm officially
"terndering" my resignation,
446
00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:09,796
and recommending Peter
Griffin as my replacement.
447
00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:12,316
There's only one
job I was born to do,
448
00:19:12,543 --> 00:19:14,204
- and I'm gonna go get it ba...
- (bird squawking)
449
00:19:14,228 --> 00:19:16,571
There's the bird with my laptop!
450
00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:32,670
POSTMASTER: Just come in.
451
00:19:32,821 --> 00:19:34,338
Thank you for seeing me, sir.
452
00:19:34,565 --> 00:19:38,158
I'm gonna get right to it and
say being a postman is who I am,
453
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,902
and I'm here to get my job back.
454
00:19:39,962 --> 00:19:42,847
- Well, that's great, but...
- Please, sir, let me finish.
455
00:19:42,998 --> 00:19:46,500
With this rubber band, I will
cinch the offending testicle
456
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:50,188
so that it can never dangle nor
sway where it does not belong.
457
00:19:50,415 --> 00:19:53,232
(deep breath) Here I go.
458
00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:56,602
- (grunting) -
(rubber band snaps)
459
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,029
It's done.
460
00:19:58,180 --> 00:20:01,607
Cleveland, we sent your
reinstatement forms a week ago.
461
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,201
I never check my own mail.
462
00:20:03,428 --> 00:20:06,111
You know how Pablo
Escobar never did cocaine?
463
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:08,431
- He did a lot of cocaine.
- Oh.
464
00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:10,857
Then I fear I've made
a terrible mistake.
465
00:20:11,026 --> 00:20:12,266
Turns out, we couldn't fire you
466
00:20:12,361 --> 00:20:14,787
without running it
by the union head.
467
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,940
Welcome back,
Cleveland. (laughs heartily)
468
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:20,367
Thank you, sir. It's
good to be back.
469
00:20:20,461 --> 00:20:22,678
- (rubber band
snaps) - (bouncing)
470
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,374
And there goes my ball.
471
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,144
- Here's your rubber band back.
- You-you can keep it.
472
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,218
So, Cleveland, you happy
to be delivering mail again?
473
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,403
Oh, yeah.
474
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:42,556
Yep, sure is nice to have
things back to normal.
475
00:20:42,650 --> 00:20:44,850
Say, Cleveland, how about
you and me get a quick selfie
476
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,410
to remember this crazy week?
477
00:20:46,487 --> 00:20:48,913
Peter, did you make
another insensitive joke
478
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:51,209
and need to prove you
have a Black friend again?
479
00:20:51,233 --> 00:20:52,399
I'm not gonna say it was bad,
480
00:20:52,493 --> 00:20:54,977
but I have to make
you my profile picture.
481
00:20:54,996 --> 00:20:56,479
It's my only shot. Oh, hang on,
482
00:20:56,497 --> 00:20:58,905
there's my Jewish friend
Mort Goldman.
483
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,260
Hey, Mort, what's up, pal?
Quick selfie?
484
00:21:02,284 --> 00:21:04,284
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