All language subtitles for She Wolf of London (1990) - S01E19 - Mystical Pizza.eng

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

DRAKE: The geek is in my
office, all right? PERRY: Yes.

So I have enough votes to take
the entire company from him.

Correct. You know what he says to me?

He says, " My grandfather came
to this country with nothing,

"and he built this business. We
have a responsibility to his memory."

So what'd you say?

I said, " Cheer up, Pops.
You're just like your grandpa,

"except he came with nothing,
you're leaving with nothing!"

(ALL LAUGHING)

You are heartless!

I think I could learn
to like being a big fish.

Yes.

Oh, beer drought! Where's
the wait-bunny? Watch this.

(EXCLAIMS) Excuse me.

I need you.

I'll be right with you.
Uh-uh, no good.

I need service with a smile, right now.

We're big fish, honey,
and we demand attention.

Can you give me some? And uh, some beer?

(PERRY LAUGHING)

Who needs a doormat when
they've got Annabeth around?

(SIGHING)

I just can't believe
what she puts up with.

Oh, she's young.
She'll learn.

I would've smacked
his head so hard

it would've been spinning
in 40 directions.

And maybe you'll learn
a little, too.

Thanks, babe.

(LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

Give me
two pitchers.

You're not gonna
serve those creeps?

Customer's
always right.

(SIGHING)
Aren't they?

Not when they start messing
with my girls, they're not.

I say we just boot
their butts out of here.

No, let's give them something
special to eat. On the house.

They are important.

Yeah, they're
real big fish.

Exactly. They wouldn't call it an
unfriendly takeover if it was nice!

(LAUGHING)

Oh, about time. We're only
dying of thirst over here.

Oh, I know.

And to show you just how
sorry I am for taking so long,

I've brought you a special
pizza. On the house.

All right! Now, that's what
happens when you're a big fish.

And you haven't
seen anything yet.

I told you she wants me.

(EXCLAIMING)

Dig in.
Ooh, geez!

(SNIFFS)

Mmm.

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh!

Shall we?

That's one big fish.

JULIA: I know

(ANNABETH GIGGLES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Why are you tearing
down lan's set?

Gotta make room for the new
one. Listen, what do you think?

Which do you like better, the starship
bridge, nice, or the life-size Bates Motel?

Ooh!
You've got to be kidding.

Yeah. You're right. We
want upscale, we want class.

Forget the starship.

The Bates Motel. You see,
lan would be like the manager,

and every week a guest would
occupy a different room.

He could become the Anthony
Perkins of broadcast journalism.

(CHUCKLES)

(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY) Well, I'm
so glad he won't lose his credibility.

Skip, how many times
do we have to tell you?

This is a serious show about the
exploration of the supernatural.

We have to treat
it with respect.

Oh, absolute reverence.

Yes.

You think painting blood stains on
the shower tiles would be too much?

Please, Skip, let's just forget for
one minute that we'd even consider

doing a show as
repugnant as that.

Because, Skip, we both know that
these sets would cost a fortune,

and we don't
have a fortune.

Yes, but Craig Marcus does and he's
interested in syndicating your show nationally.

Who's Craig Marcus?

(LAUGHING) Who's Craig?
He's the genius

that made Red Highway
a national sensation.

Red Highway?

Yeah, 30 minutes of sizzling footage
of fatal traffic accidents every week.

Television at its finest.

Oh, my God.

The man is a genius
in this biz.

He will be here tomorrow,
and when he is,

I will expect you to
cater to his every desire.

What shall I do? Run
over a few pedestrians?

Hey, whatever it takes. We are
going to make this deal happen.

Skip! So, Bambi, did you
figure out the Jell-O?

(SIGHS)
There's a trick to Jell-O.

It's not as easy
as it looks.

Well, it's probably 'cause the
writing is so little on those boxes.

(LAUGHS) It's all
English to me.

You mean Greek.

So that's why I couldn't understand it.

(GROANS)

Well, we're off to celebrate at the
trendiest new restaurant in town.

Want to make it
a threesome?

No, thanks. I think I'd rather
poke my eyes out with toothpicks

and then stick them
in Tabasco sauce.

A simple " no" would
have sufficed.

She's so emotional.

(CHATTERING)

All right, stand back. Celebrities
coming through. Watch out. Stand back.

Important people coming in.
Two, no smoking.

Excuse me, you're going
to have to wait your turn.

Excuse me? I don't think you
know who you're talking to.

A jerk?

Guess again, tootsie.

This little gal can put this dive on the
map or wipe it right out of existence.

This is Bambi.

Sorry about your mom, but you
still have to wait for a table.

It's not that Bambi.

Excuse me, this gal is
Channel 89's restaurant critic,

star of
Bikini Baking with Bambi,

culinary expert
and 36-D cup.

(CHUCKLES)

We'll expect your best table,
free food, and lots of sucking up.

Skip! Skip, what are you doing here?

And who's she?

I'm sorry,
did you say Skip?

(LAUGHING) She
thinks I'm Skip.

Aren't you Skip?

(LAUGHING) I fooled you
too! Isn't that a riot?

No, no. I'm Julio.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Skip's twin brother.

(STUTTERING) I just got in from
the Orient. I left Skip at home.

He's writing
love letters, actually.

Is that so?

Yeah, so this is
where you work.

I mean, uh, Skip always
wondered where you worked.

No. You could
never be Skip.

Because Skip would
never two-time me.

The Skipster? No, never. Oh! The
man is a virtual paragon of virtue.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, they call him Mr. Fidelity,
yeah, when they're not calling him

Mr. Honesty, Mr. Truthfulness,
Mr. All-Around Great Guy.

(LAUGHS)

Yes! Skip sets a high moral
standard that many men aspire to,

but few can attain.

Right this way, Julio.

I'm glad you're not Skip.

Skip likes me to pretend I'm an
Indy 500 racecar driver and...

(EXCLAIMS)
My! What lovely decor.

You know, I ought to put some
sawdust on the floor at my place.

You know, it'd save
time doing the linoleum.

Not that I'd want to
deprive you of the pleasure.

Yup!

Geez, what do you put on
these pizzas? Gold doubloons?

Oh, Julio. Your money's
no good here.

Oh, well, then it has something
in common with my credit cards.

They're no good anywhere.

(LAUGHS)

I kid.

No, it'll be my pleasure
to take care of you both.

How does the
house special sound?

My treat.

Sounds scrumptious.

Hmm.

Just like you.

So, uh, what do you
say later on

you pretend that you're
a rock singer and I'm...

But I don't know
how to sing.

Don't worry. The trick is knowing
how to handle the microphone.

What are you doing?
That's for table five!

Not any more
it isn't. Oh, no!

We have a celebrity
in the house.

And she deserves
special, immediate attention.

Ferret nostril?
Ground lizard tongue?

Oh, this is special.

I thought I was the only one.

I thought Skip only drove
the Indy 500 with me.

Skip? The man who is single-handedly
reshaping the television industry?

You said he had a body like
Adonis and a mind like Aristotle.

I gave him the
benefit of the doubt.

Oh, how can
you be so calm?

I mean the man
is clearly a rat.

And you should
let him know it.

Just you watch me.

I love being with you.

I feel like I can relax
and just let my hair down.

Oh, why stop there?

Ah! Here we go. Enjoy!

Well, thank you. I'm sure
Skip would appreciate this.

Hmm, I'm counting on it.

Yeah.

All right. Eat up! You're going
to need your strength later.

(GROWLS)

Whoa!

Where are you going?
We haven't even eaten yet?

When you let your hair
down, you don't kid around.

(SCREAMING)

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

(ALL GIGGLING)

Oh, the bimbo.

The rat.

Oh, what a cruel world.

Blind date.

(LAUGHING) Oh, yes!
Did I show him!

No, you showed her.
He got off easy.

Oh, fine! Well,
what would you do?

Make sure he never forgets
the rat he really is.

(ALL GIGGLING)

Uh-huh.

So how'd you like
to have your own show?

Here's the deal. You supply the
spatula, we'll supply the bikini.

I'll pass.

She prefers the
anonymity of producing.

Yeah? Well, she won't
be anonymous for long.

How Strange is going to
be a national sensation!

Oh, pizza?

"Think of me as you enjoy lunch today,
because I will be thinking of you. Annabeth."

Aah.

Just another offering from
one of my many admirers.

You know, you could learn something
from her about slavish devotion.

Hey! Craig Marcus will
be here any minute.

You could start by
offering him your body.

(INHALES)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
RANDl: You are disgus...

Mmm, come in.

Mr. Seville? Get lost, kid. I'm not
buying any magazine subscriptions.

Yeah, look...
Scram!

Mr. Seville, I'm Craig.

You're Craig?

Craig Marcus.

The genius behind
Red Highway.

RANDl: Figures.

You're Craig Marcus?

This damn door.

(LAUGHING) Oh! It's
always closing on people.

It's a real hell. Please,
come in. I want you to enjoy...

Get me the owner
of this building!

I want this door taken care of today
or you'll face my lawyers tomorrow!

WOMAN: Yes, Mr. Seville.

I'm Craig.
Lan Matheson.

My producer,
Randi Wallace.

Hi.
I like your show.

Oh, I'm glad you appreciate
the in-depth study of mythology.

It's neat. So are
the demographics.

Dad gave me an Apple for Christmas,
and I've been running some numbers.

Oh, that's a coincidence,
I used to run numbers.

(LAUGHING)

Well, you know, it beat
having a paper route.

Well, boys will be boys.

What?

Skip, you have whiskers.

You should shave. You know, I
just started. I could teach you.

IAN: Listen, I'm glad
you enjoy the show,

but I'm not really
interested in going national.

Lan.

Perhaps you've heard of
Bikini Baking with Bambi?

I'm sure you'll
find that neat.

Love the new look.

So, got any shaving cream?

Uh, I use electric.

You know, lan, going national with your
show might not be such an awful thing.

True. Working for
a 17-year-old boy,

that would be
an awful thing.

Worse than
working for Skip?

Uh, I'll think about that,
and get back to you.

The point is, if we go national we
would enlarge our audience by millions,

and that's millions of people
that could lead us to a cure.

And we'll lose whatever
anonymity we have,

which will seriously hinder our
investigation into the supernatural,

and finding your cure.

It's a two-edged sword, Randi.

It's a vicious circle.

And no fun at all.

I guess we should think
about this some more.

You know what?

I suggest we think about
this under the stars,

hand-in-hand, walking
along the sea shore.

Boy, you sure know how
to change a girl's mind.

Well, I try.

(CHUCKLES)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

You get it.

You get it.

You get it.

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

Doc, you gotta do something.
You gotta to help me!

Well, well, well. Look at
what the cat dragged in.

Cat? Do you have a cat?
Where's the cat?

Is he here? Shoo! Scat!

(SKIP HISSING)

Skip. It's just
an expression.

Why are you so freaked-out?

You'd be freaked out too, if
you were turning into a rat!

Has anything unusual happened
to you in the last few days?

You mean besides
turning into a rodent?

You know, there's a certain
poetic justice about this.

Yes, there is. Have you
made any enemies lately?

You got a calculator? I'm not too
good at adding up numbers in my head.

Listen, we're talking about
just the past few days?

Well, there was the
Mercedes I sideswiped,

but the guy had no business parking
so close to the handicapped spot.

(SIGHING)

Did you leave a note?
Are you kidding?

And then there's Bambi.

When I found out at the pizza parlor
that she was really a hideous hag

camouflaged under expertly applied
make-up, I was morally outraged.

Three Girls from Salem.

(GROANS) I can't
turn into a rat now.

I'm right in the middle of trying
to cut a big-money syndication deal.

He was eating pizza when
he sprouted whiskers.

What exactly happened
in the pizza parlor, Skip?

Nothing, only because
I think fast on my feet.

(SIGHS) I ran into
a waitress I've been dating.

She thought I was
two-timing her with Bambi,

but I convinced her I was
my twin brother Julio.

A very clever ruse. I
think we're on to something.

This waitress's name wouldn't
happen to be Annabeth, would it?

Uh, yeah. So what?

God, do we really
have to help him?

If they did this to Skip, think how
many other people could be in danger.

Hey, if they can
turn him into a rat,

then maybe they
could cure me.

There's one way
to find out.

Excuse me, you guys
got any gouda?

(SIGHS)

ANNABETH: I'm so glad
you got the job.

Hmm, me too,
I am thrilled.

I think you're really
going to like it here.

I mean we have so much fun and
the atmosphere is really friendly.

Oh, yeah, of course, the pay
isn't great, but then again,

who takes a job like this
for the money, anyway?

(LAUGHS)
Certainly not me.

I'm just glad to be working
with friendly people.

You know, my last boss,
she was a real witch.

Come on, girls. There's
customers waiting.

Oh, we better go. Things
get really crazy around here.

I'll bet.

(COUGHING)

Thank you, Skip, for
making my week.

CHRISTIANA: Randi!

Um... Yes! I was just
looking for time cards.

Oh, we don't
have time cards.

I don't believe
in punching a clock.

Oh, that's a relief.
Neither do I.

So, um,
where do I start?

Right now, at the bottom,
bussing tables, serving pizza,

wiping up spilled beers.

Hmm. But, Randi, we're expanding,

and we're looking for
managers to run our franchises.

We're like
one big family.

Hmm. And the girls that do well
here, they become my sisters.

And those who don't?

Oh, they become
something else.

Ah. Well, I wouldn't want
that to happen.

Neither would I. Welcome
to the pizza business.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey, waitress!
Where's our food?

Coming, coming!

MAN: Can we please
get a menu?

Hang on, just
a second okay?

Just give me a brake,
all right, for one second?

I'll have your
change in a minute.

RANDl: I need some
help out here!

(GLASSES CLINKING)

Waitress!
Yes?

I have been waiting.

I'm sorry, so has everyone...
I am Claire Preston.

I phoned in an order
over 35 minutes ago.

Mmm-hmm. I'm sorry... I was
very explicit on the phone.

I said that I would be here in
exactly 25 minutes, and that I expected

the pizza to be ready.

(LAUGHING) I have been
waiting over 10 minutes.

10 minutes? Oh,
that's a shame.

I have a 12 million dollar deal that could
fall apart if my timing is not perfect.

I can't stand around here
like a potted palm

simply because your
kitchen is incompetent!

Miss Preston,
sorry for the delay.

We wanted to make
this pizza very special.

No pizza is worth
10 minutes of my time.

Oh, this'll be worth
much more than that.

(GROANS)

Wait, she didn't pay
for her pizza.

Oh, she will.

Damn right.

Uh, Randi!

(CLEARING THROAT)

Excuse me, you forgot
to pay for that.

Forget? I didn't forget.
I paid with my time.

Yeah, well,
we prefer cash.

Oh, do you now?
Yeah.

Well, why don't you remember that next
time you leave someone sitting around

like a potted palm.

(EXCLAIMS)

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Did she pay you?

No, she's leaves. I
mean, she left. She left!

(LAUGHS) Oh, well. Your shift is
just about over now anyway, isn't it?

Yeah.
But

before you go, I have something for you.

How can you sell our pizza if you
don't know just how special it is?

Uh, no, I think
I have an idea.

Take it anyway.
It's my treat.

All right. Thank you.

You're welcome.
Good night.

Good night.

SKIP: How can you read
at a time like this?

You may not have noticed it, but this
happy-go-lucky fella is turning into a rat.

Something unprecedented in the history of
the world is happening in your apartment,

and all you can do is think about
something interesting to read.

This is
The Art of Wicca.

Oh! Fine. Thinking
of redecorating?

You should be looking for
something to help me out!

I said Wicca, with an " a,"
not wicker.

It's the Old English
phrase for witchcraft.

I think you're the
victim of black magic.

(GROWLS)

Randi will find out if
it's the pizza. If it is,

I need to understand the spell if
I'm going to reverse its effects.

Tell you what.
This isn't happening.

No way, no how.
I am S-k-k-k-kip Seville.

I'm a swinging, hip,
happening guy of the '90s.

Today, now, this instant.

This my world, brother,
and I've tamed it.

I got the Teflon
frying pans,

the cellular phones,
and the acrylic sweaters

to prove it. So listen up.

There's no such thing as witchcraft.
I am not turning to a rat!

Glad we got
that sorted out.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(WHISPERING)
SKIP: Who is it?

(WHISPERING)
Craig Marcus.

No!

He can't see
me like this!

Why not? He might think you're
neat and give you a sitcom.

Hey, now
there's a thought.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
CRAIG: Hello in there!

Just a moment!

Put this over your head
and lean over this kettle.

Do you have any idea how much money
Alf made? And he was just a puppet.

Be quiet, and let
me handle this.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Mr. Marcus, what a
delightful surprise.

I'm afraid I can't come
out to play right now.

Oh, I came
to talk business.

But if you want to go miniature
golfing afterwards, I'm game.

I'd love to. Unfortunately, I have
to take care of a very sick friend.

(SNIFFING)

IAN: He's got a
terrible head cold.

Why is he sitting on a
pile of shredded newspapers?

He's a voracious reader. Just tears
through reading material when he's sick.

What do you say we discuss
this tomorrow, at the studio...

I'd rather not, I don't
want Skip involved.

IAN: Any particular reason?

CRAIG: Yeah. He's a crook with no
one's interest at heart but his own.

You're very perceptive.

(SCOFFS) That's why stations
pay me to pick shows for them.

In fact, I'm meeting with a
group of station owners tonight,

and I'd like
you to come.

What makes you think
they want my show?

I'm 17-years-old, I know
what today's viewers want.

They want monsters.

Then you're going to
love this, you little runt.

Oops!

It's time for
Julio's enema.

Can we
talk another time?

Unless of course, you
want to give me a hand?

Uh, we'll confab
on the cellular.

(SIGHS)

An enema, a pizza,
and a potted palm?

(LAUGHS) I don't get it.

Grown up stuff.

Yeah. Bye.

Lan, the Three Gals
from Salem are witches,

and their combination
pizza is deadly.

You're not kidding.

Oh, my God,
he's changing so fast.

There isn't much time. The faster he's
changing, the less human he becomes.

Really? How
can you tell?

This is serious! Rats are
vicious deadly creatures.

We don't even know if
he's had a rabies shot.

How do you like that kid? Wining
and dining station owners without me?

I'm going to have to...

(SNIFFING)

Mmm. Do I
detect some cheese?

Um... We really shouldn't let
him eat that. It could be cursed.

Well, how much
worse can it get?

Ah! Greenery!

(LAUGHS) Just the decorative
touch this loft was missing.

Lan, that is not greenery. That is
a customer. I mean, it was a customer

until they turned
her into that.

Well, at least she doesn't have
to worry about putting on weight.

I think it's time we took
this situation in hand.

What do you
have in mind?

A cunning plan. A plan so cunning you
could skin it and make a pair of boots.

(SKIP BURPS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Oh! Hi!
Table for one?

(LAUGHING) I wouldn't
dare eat here.

You wouldn't?

Not at least until
24 hours after fumigation.

Fumigation?

Ah-ha!

Notice the texture
of the cheese?

See these bubbles?

Uh-huh.

They could be rancid
blisters filled with plague.

Or they just could be,
friendly old bubbles.

Hmm. Who knows?

That is what I'm
here to find out.

Randall Hopkirk,
Department of Health.

(EXCLAIMS)

WOMAN: Come on, boys,
let's get out of here.

You have no right driving
out all my customers!

A right, a duty and
a responsibility, madam.

Ah! You!

Follow me.

(CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me.

I operate a clean
and sanitary restaurant.

I shall be
the judge of that.

(SIGHING)

IAN: A worm?

We have an eclectic menu.

I see.

That's why
we're so popular.

Popularity has nothing to do with
cleanliness. The president is popular.

Do you think that matters
to the salmonella germ?

No! No! A warm intestine
is a warm intestine.

Give me a break.

Do you have
a problem, miss?

Isn't this all
a bit much?

(SHOUTING) Much? Much?
Do you know what much is?

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Much is descending upon this germ
pit with a decontamination team.

It is dismantling this
place nail by nail,

studying each microbe
with such intimacy

we're on a first name
basis, and then,

only then, do we
allow you to serve

a single grain of pure,
undiluted salt.

(SIGHS)
Are we clear?

Good.

That completes my
examination. Thank you.

Forgive us. We've had a hard day
and we're taking it out on you.

All we want to do is serve wholesome
and enriching food to our community,

and meet your exacting
standards, which we are.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

But why don't you
decide for yourself?

Give Mr. Hopkirk
a pizza to go.

My pleasure.

Oh, but I couldn't.

I insist.

(SWITCH CLICKING)

SKIP: Forget it.
I gnawed through the wires.

Of course.

Why turn off the lights when
you can eat the wire instead?

SKIP: I don't like the light.
It hurts my eyes.

Skip? Where are you?

SKIP: Did you bring
me any cheese?

No. But I made the witches hate me
so much, they made me a cursed pizza.

I'm going to use it, with some
of the ingredients I stole,

to try and make
you a cure.

An anti-pizza.

(LAUGHING) It might work.

SKIP: I don't need a cure...

I'm Ratman.

Oh...

What about a cape
and an emblem?

There's only one thing that
would make me feel better now.

What's that?

Kill the witches.

But you'll still be a rat.

Yes. But I'd feel
better about myself.

I couldn't let you do that.

Oh, too bad.

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS) Oh, Skip.

(SCREAMS)

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(LAUGHING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Are you all right?

Yes. You, uh,
you startled me.

Take this.

What do you want
me to do with it?

What do you think?

I don't know.

How about sweeping
the floor?

Sweep?

(GIGGLING)

Of course, sweep.
Yes, I can sweep.

I can do that.
Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.

I'm a sweeping demon.

(HUMMING)

That girl is strange.

I thought so, too. Which is why
I took this from her shoulder.

You know, scientists can tell a lot about
a person from a single strand of hair,

magnifying it until they see
the DNA right in their eye.

Huh.

That's a stupid waste of time. I mean,
why don't they just do it the easy way?

Calling fiends and specters
deep, by force of potent spell.

Reveal the secrets we do seek,
the truth she dare not tell.

What is the use of having
sawdust on the floor,

if you're only going
to sweep it up?

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) I mean,
what a clever idea.

You're not fooling us.

All right then. I think
it's a pretty stupid idea.

We know everything.

Everything?

You came here because, somehow,
you discovered we're witches.

What are you going
to do to me?

What do you think
we're going to do?

You're going to chop me up into little bits
and serve me as tomorrow's special pizza?

Yuck!
Eww!

We are going to use
all our witchly powers,

and cure you.
You wouldn't dare!

Cure me?

Unless you like
being a werewolf?

Well, did you just say
that you'd cure me?

Oh, sure, it's easy.

All we do is slop a little
brew in the microwave and, uh,

you'll be a new
woman in no time.

You'd really do that for me?

It's not like I have
a date tonight.

You see, we supernatural
women have to stick together.

Yeah! All right.

Good.
Thank you.

This is it, gents, the
trendiest place in town.

Great.
You're gonna love it.

MAN: I've got about an hour.

(SNICKERING)

And once you're cured, we'll
initiate you into the witchly arts,

and teach you the
secrets of pizza cookery.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, and maybe someday you
could open up a franchise

for us and spread
all our wickedness.

But you guys are in a pizza parlor. I
mean, shouldn't you be standing around

a cauldron someplace?

(EXCLAIMS) That is
a cruel stereotype.

Cauldrons went out
with the toaster oven.

We run the trendiest
restaurant in town,

attracting the young, the powerful,
and they're going no place but up.

Unless they come here.

And then they're
going no place.

(LAUGHING) Bink!
No more young and powerful.

I love being a witch!

So you kill them?

Oh, well, that's
what witches do.

Oh, it's better than
joining a sorority.

Yeah.

You're gonna love it. Come on, let's
hurry up and cure her so we can show her.

In a potion horrible and grim, kill
the beast that tears limb from limb.

Kill? Oh, it's just an expression.

Forces of the night,
I do call,

glow of the moon...

CRAIG: Yo!

Pizza is the food of the hip.

Mmm-hmm.
It's the food of the young.

Yeah. It has all three
food groups and, besides,

the Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles love the stuff.

(LAUGHING)

Yo! Can we get
some service, please?

(RINGING BELL)

I thought I
locked the door.

It doesn't matter,
the cure, the cure.

Oh, we'll get back to it.

What?

Sorry.

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry, we're closed.

Nonsense. We have
a reservation.

CHRISTIANA: I don't recall
making a reservation.

Are you sure you didn't
get a call from Abe Lincoln?

Well, since you
put it that way.

Your best table, please.

Right this way.

Randi, why
are you hiding?

Um, I'm kind of
shy around men.

(SIGHS) If you were a
werewolf, you'd be weird, too.

May I suggest the
house special?

With double everything.

Oh, right away.

Oh! Looks like you get
initiated before you get cured.

I think I'd initiate much
better if I were cured first.

CHRISTIANA: Help us make the house
special for that charming young executive.

Bye-bye to another of
the rich and powerful.

Eye of newt.

Toe of frog.

Wool of bat.

Tongue of dog.

Green of pepper.

(SIGHS) Okay, she's not a
natural. We all can't be.

For a charm of powerful trouble,
like hell-broth, boil and bubble.

(SPITTING)

Well, it couldn't hurt.

(LAUGHS)

Serve our guests.

Me?

Yes, then when they're reduced to cockroaches,
we'll grind them up and use them up

and use them
in your cure.

How nice.

(GIGGLES)

Red Waterway would capitalize on
the proven appeal of accidents.

MAN: Yeah.

And add the breathtaking
beauty of our nation's beaches.

The possibilities
are endless.

MAN: I think so.
Jetskis, motorboats, sharks.

The demographics'll
be unbelievable.

(ALL AGREEING)

MAN: Dig in.

I can't do it.
It's murder.

Don't eat that
pizza, you guys!

Randi? Randi, what
are you doing here?

You two know
each other?

Sure, she works
for Skip Seville.

Skip?

MAN: Who's that?

There is no more Skip, babe!

(ALL GASP)

Now, there is only Ratman!

(HISSING)

MAN 1: Let's go.

MAN 2: Let's get out of here.

I prowl the shadows.
I feed on darkness.

I am evil, and evil is me.

(SNICKERING) You made a foul
error when you crossed me.

Now, prepare to die,
hell-spawn.

(GROWLING)

Hey, Mr. Ratman.

(CAT MEOWING)

Lan!

The health inspector?

So true, and the health inspector
has decided to close this place down.

Because it is
infested with rats.

(SKIP HISSING)

Here kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.

Kitty, kitty.

Oh, thank you.

Not so fast. Not so fast. There's
something you have to do for me first.

Eat.

(LAUGHING) Oh, we never eat
anything we cook ourselves.

We couldn't. We'd be
turned into cockroaches.

It's your little choice.
Either you eat the pizza,

or he eats you.

There goes my cure,
scurrying away.

(HISSING)

Pizza, please.

Hey, Mr. Ratman, you're
favorite pizza dish.

Oh! Extra cheese!

(CHUCKLING)

Wow! What
a rush!

(SIGHS)
How did you do that?

I fought a spell
with a spell.

I took the pizza they gave me, added some
of their ingredients, and cooked it up.

And, presto, anti-pizza.

What the hell was that?

(CAT MEOWING)

What?

That? That was Ratman.

Skip's newest exciting
superhero character.

Yeah.

IAN: Well, we hope you enjoyed
our little demonstration.

Enjoyed? I loved it.

What a series! Wait till the station
guys here about this! Hey, guys!

The next new series, Ratman!

The possibilities are endless.
Rabies, exterminators, infestations.

(LAUGHING) Don't you just
love the television business?

Yeah.

I hope you're hungry. I've made
a special consolation dinner.

That sounds lovely. What
am I being consoled for?

I'm afraid the show
is not going national.

Oh, gosh, I thought
Craig loved monsters.

He does. That's why he's going
with Adventures of Ratman.

Best idea Skip ever had. If
only he could remember having it.

Hmm, so what gourmet delicacy
are you making tonight?

Oh, something unique.

Let's see, so far you've
made me truites Saint-Amour,

chow pan san yan
and venison stew.

Maybe we should
have something Chilean.

Tonight, I'm making an
Assyro-Babylonian dish.

What?

De praestigiis daemonum et
incantationibus et veneficiis.

Sounds delicious. What
is it? A germ culture?

That's the name
of the book.

The dish is called...

Pepperoni pizza.

Pepperoni pizza?

With a smidgen of adder's
tongue and maiger root.

Listen, how can you even think about
pizza after what we've just gone through?

Actually, that is all I
have been thinking about.

I took the enchanted ingredients
from the restaurant and have been

applying what I've learned.

If I can cure Skip,
then I can cure you.

Do you think so?

Well, it's worth a try. I've
cast a spell on this pizza.

What are you going to
turn me into?

A human being.

Ah, well, thank you very much.

I mean, a normal
human being.

Right now,
you're a werewolf,

even if you are the most
beautiful werewolf I've ever seen.

Ha-ha! If you think you're going to
redeem yourself on that last comment,

you can forget it.

I'd rather redeem myself
with a cooking.

This pizza should
hold your cure

and be an absolute
rare delicacy for me.

Okay.
Bon appétit.

RANDl: Lan, I don't
feel so good.

IAN: Oh, well, back
to the drawing board.