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1
00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:23,350
MELINDA: I still love you,
Daddy. I always will.
2
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:27,324
But we have to be free
to live our lives together.
3
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:29,757
(TAPPING)
4
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:31,057
Johnny.
5
00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:42,463
(MOANING)
6
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:46,972
You're late.
I thought that...
7
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,709
That your daddy
scared me away?
8
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,081
Nothing's gonna scare
me away from you.
9
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:54,086
Janice is waiting for us
with a car up at Greasy Lake.
10
00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:55,951
She'll take us as far
as the border.
11
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:58,047
We'll be in Baja before
your daddy wakes up.
12
00:00:58,124 --> 00:00:59,113
Baja!
13
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,454
I got a little job
lined up,
14
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,189
pumping gas in a town
outside Ensenada.
15
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,522
It doesn't pay much.
16
00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:05,894
We don't need any money.
17
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,660
You've never been poor.
18
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:09,730
All I want is you.
19
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:10,963
And Daddy?
20
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:14,839
He'll find us.
He knows people in Mexico.
21
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,334
Let him find us. No, you
don't know what he's like.
22
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:20,402
What's he gonna do?
We're gonna be married.
23
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,219
I love you.
24
00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:29,982
Are you ready, seòora?
25
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:31,387
I'm ready.
26
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:35,987
Let's go.
27
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,064
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
28
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:41,927
Daddy.
29
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,635
Wait here.
30
00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:52,040
What are you doing
up here...
31
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,082
Who are you?
32
00:01:58,384 --> 00:01:59,715
True love.
33
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:02,385
How sweet.
34
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,759
Happy honeymoon.
35
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:28,714
Who was that woman?
36
00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:29,941
Woman?
37
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,977
Hurry up.
We've got to go.
38
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:34,713
Janice is not going
to wait past midnight.
39
00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:35,943
Come on.
40
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,349
What makes you think
I would go anywhere
41
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:40,858
with a low-class
scumbag like you?
42
00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:44,355
Wait, wait!
43
00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:45,624
(JOHNNY SCREAMS)
44
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:45,515
I think Sean Ludlow has
sold enough books. Don't you?
45
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:48,215
He could use
a little humility.
46
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:51,055
Besides, all his
readers are short.
47
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,649
They'll be glad
not to have to reach.
48
00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:55,284
It's like
a dream come true.
49
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,023
Well, not really. I've always
stood up for the little guy.
50
00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:00,588
This farm girl gets off
the plane from Montana,
51
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:03,761
walks into a Sav-on,
and who's buying lip balm?
52
00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:06,404
Larabee Link.
53
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:07,864
So?
54
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,700
Don't you know
who Larabee Link is?
55
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:14,645
Yes, of course I do. Larabee,
the famous missing link.
56
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,716
He's an international
movie star.
57
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,082
It's so romantic.
It's like Cinderella.
58
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,280
I mean, this girl's in
town five minutes
59
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,550
and she meets a movie star,
they fall madly in love,
60
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:27,991
and now they're having
a private wedding tomorrow.
61
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:30,524
It's unbelievable.
Look at her dress.
62
00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:34,396
Oh, I don't think Cinderella would
have shown quite so much thigh.
63
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:37,095
Cynic. Hmm.
64
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:41,404
Oh, well, it looks like Mr. Sean
Ludlow's slipped a few notches.
65
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,771
Really?
66
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:44,873
Hello, everybody.
67
00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:47,469
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
68
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:50,641
Oh, I care for you.
69
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,119
Each one of you is significant to me.
70
00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:57,984
DR. CUDDLES: I love what is
unique in you.
71
00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:01,288
Now, I want each one of you
to show the human being
72
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:05,161
standing next to you
that they are special.
73
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:06,664
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
74
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,059
What's he talking about?
75
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:09,499
Hug power.
76
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:12,259
(CHUCKLES)
77
00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:18,408
The positive
affection movement.
78
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:23,608
Didn't you know?
79
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,674
Dr. Cuddles coined the phrase,
"Hug a stranger today,
80
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:26,878
"have a friend tomorrow."
81
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,614
Sounds good to me.
Mmm-hmm.
82
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,454
Yeah, just, uh, don't
get too carried away.
83
00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:34,281
Thank you.
84
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,158
Now, I want to thank each
and every one of you
85
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,961
for not only making
Power Snuggling a best-seller,
86
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,033
but a way of life.
87
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:49,299
It's the '90s
and love is in.
88
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,400
(CHUCKLES)
89
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:53,801
Oh!
90
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:57,073
RANDl: Hey!
91
00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,373
(DR. CUDDLES GRUNTS)
92
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:00,877
(WOMAN CHOKING)
93
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:14,822
(ENGINE STARTS)
94
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,466
(TIRES SCREECHING)
95
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,361
(STRAINING)
96
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:21,862
(GRUNTS)
97
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,001
(SIGHS)
98
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:34,546
Folks, you're gonna
have to step outside.
99
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,621
(CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO)
100
00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:45,625
Thank you very much.
Dispatch, 479...
101
00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,423
(GASPS) Oh, my gosh.
102
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:52,767
I'm afraid the positive
affection movement is dead.
103
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,731
(SIGHS) Did she kill
Dr. Cuddles?
104
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,900
No, Dr. Cuddles
killed her.
105
00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:00,475
How could he? She just got
away in a black Porsche.
106
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,605
That woman is on her way
to the pearly gates.
107
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,879
Whether she is arriving
by chariot, gossamer wings
108
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,549
or a Porsche,
is anyone's guess.
109
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:11,353
No, I'm talking about
the woman in leather
110
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,688
who shot Dr. Cuddles
with a crossbow.
111
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:17,160
IAN: Dr. Cuddles was felled
by his own book, not an arrow.
112
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,460
And it's a good thing
he wrote a thick book.
113
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:22,296
I know what I saw.
I saw a woman in black
114
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,800
shoot Dr. Cuddles
with a crossbow.
115
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:25,997
And that's not all I saw.
116
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:29,132
You saw her shoot him with a
bazooka, just for good measure?
117
00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,176
I saw her license plate.
118
00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:34,746
I know an old friend
we should contact.
119
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:36,111
Let's go.
120
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:40,814
IAN: They don't call him Handy
Andy simply because it rhymes.
121
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:42,878
RANDl: Well,
what did he find out?
122
00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:46,015
Handy Andy has a friend
at the Hall of Records.
123
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:49,524
Wait, is that the big
building on Exposition Drive?
124
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,094
Yes, by the convenience store. Hmm.
125
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:56,032
It seems his friend
has a friend at the DMV.
126
00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:58,231
And he ran
the plate for us.
127
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:00,067
The Porsche is
registered to...
128
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,807
True Love Incorporated.
129
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:04,765
(SIGHING)
May I?
130
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,903
If you're looking for love,
this is the wrong place.
131
00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:10,506
And if you're with the moving
company, you're late and overdressed.
132
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,676
Actually...
What happened to True Love?
133
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,312
It's bankrupt. Victim of
a cold-hearted society?
134
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,253
Victim of a
cold-hearted executive.
135
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:19,188
Rowena Smith embezzled
every dime we had
136
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:20,691
and every nickel
we could borrow.
137
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,729
She all but ruined my reputation
as a professional matchmaker.
138
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:26,424
But you didn't come
to hear my whining.
139
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,497
You must be interested
in the office space.
140
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,002
Actually, we're interested
in the black Porsche.
141
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,731
She took that too.
142
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,002
You aren't creditors, are you?
Because if you are...
143
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,736
We're victims, just like you. You are?
144
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,710
A tragic story.
Hit and run.
145
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:40,803
What did she hit?
146
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,472
Our dog.
Our car.
147
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,042
(CHUCKLES) Our dog
was in our car.
148
00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:47,415
Oh, she must've enjoyed
that. Double the fun.
149
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:51,582
Charming woman. RANDl: Just the
kind I'd want to set me up on a date.
150
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,458
You would have.
She was once the sweetest,
151
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:57,087
most wonderful woman,
and she had the gift.
152
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,688
When she brought people
together, it was instant love.
153
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,995
One happy couple
after another.
154
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,898
Until the axe murder.
155
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,904
And the drowning. And
the electrocution, and...
156
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,702
Well, after that
she was never the same.
157
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:10,935
No more new clients?
158
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:13,137
No more old clients. They
kept killing each other.
159
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:15,510
I think it really
got her down.
160
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:16,639
Do you know where
we can find her?
161
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,081
If I knew that,
she'd have the creditors
162
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,209
and I wouldn't have
to work for my husband.
163
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,378
A tyrant?
164
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,048
A divorce lawyer.
Opposites attract.
165
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,950
Well, thanks
for your help.
166
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:33,391
There's something very
strange going on here.
167
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,660
Indeed.
168
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,259
We know there's
an embezzling matchmaker
169
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:39,133
who's shooting
invisible arrows,
170
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,399
and that all the couples
who she introduced,
171
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,634
who once loved each other,
now hate each other.
172
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,938
But what we
don't know is why, and...
173
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,133
lan.
174
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,976
(CHUCKLES) Oh, what a
terrible mistake.
175
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:52,949
I'm shocked, I'm horrified,
I'm appalled. I'm...
176
00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:56,453
You sneak. What's in it? Books.
177
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:57,716
Books?
Hmm.
178
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:00,588
Apparently, they gave them
away to clients.
179
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,358
"Live happily ever after,
compliments of True Love."
180
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,419
What do you think?
181
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,864
I think they would have been
better off giving away my book.
182
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:08,922
Of course.
183
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,240
Maybe we can learn
a thing or two.
184
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:19,299
I doubt it.
185
00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:20,367
(ENGINE STARTS)
186
00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:03,477
"Intimacy is the glue which binds two
people together and cements their love.
187
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:07,117
"And affection is the applicator
with which we apply intimacy."
188
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:11,392
Dr. Cuddles has a
marvelous way with words.
189
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:16,059
"Without intimacy,
love doesn't stand a chance."
190
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,797
Well, we're doomed.
191
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,973
Hey, how can you
say that?
192
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:25,943
Well, look at
the two of us.
193
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:29,041
IAN: Two people
very much in love.
194
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,579
Who can't show
their affection.
195
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:34,778
I don't know. I'm applying
the glue right now.
196
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:35,912
You know what I mean.
197
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,012
(IAN LAUGHS)
198
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,990
Even if we were as intimate
as we wanted to be,
199
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:42,289
I'd become
a vicious werewolf.
200
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:46,388
So we exercise just
a little moderation.
201
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:49,796
But even a little affection
can be dangerous.
202
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:53,100
Nonsense. A little affection
never hurt anyone.
203
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,599
Lan.
204
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:00,970
Lan.
205
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,538
Lan!
206
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,843
(RANDI CHOKING)
207
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,354
(IAN SCREAMS)
208
00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:16,022
I'm the one who's supposed
to turn into a monster.
209
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,188
(SCREAMS)
210
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:23,023
(GRUNTS)
211
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,908
Relax, ma'am.
I'm Al.
212
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,174
Excuse me?
213
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:34,178
I'm a cupid.
214
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:46,921
Cupid? I mean, did you
just say " cupid"?
215
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:49,222
That's right, ma'am.
Al Cupid.
216
00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:52,062
This is some kind
of a joke, right?
217
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,465
If it is, it's not
a very good one.
218
00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:55,522
Well, how do you
figure that?
219
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,262
I don't think Dr. Cuddles
is laughing.
220
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,270
You're tracking down
the woman in black leather.
221
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,670
Yes, sir. We were staking
out True Love Incorporated
222
00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,605
before you started
asking questions about her.
223
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,907
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Do
you mean cupids, like the little babies
224
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,674
that carry bow and arrows?
225
00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:10,214
We've grown up, ma'am.
226
00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:12,341
Can you tell me anything
about the suspect, sir?
227
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,215
She has a wicked aim
with a crossbow.
228
00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:17,722
Yes, sir. Rowena Cupid scored
a 98 on her archery exam.
229
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,018
I might've guessed
she was one of you.
230
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:21,616
But shouldn't she be out
making people fall in love?
231
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,321
That's her job.
She's a cupid.
232
00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:24,589
There's just one problem.
233
00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:26,255
What's that?
She's gone bad.
234
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,822
A rogue cupid?
235
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:30,595
She stole a case of arrows
and disappeared.
236
00:14:30,669 --> 00:14:32,432
We think she's trying
to eliminate love.
237
00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:34,768
By making lovers
eliminate each other?
238
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,172
Exactly. We think
she's planning something big.
239
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:38,574
Why is she doing this?
240
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:39,941
That's classified, sir.
241
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,240
Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Wait a minute.
242
00:14:41,313 --> 00:14:44,077
This is the dumbest thing
I've ever heard in my life.
243
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:45,616
Ma'am?
Cupids?
244
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:49,546
RANDl: I mean, why are we
listening to this drivel?
245
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,886
Well, one minute, I was
trying to win your heart.
246
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:54,016
The next, I was trying
to tear it out.
247
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:57,551
I guess a rogue cupid is as
good an explanation as any.
248
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:02,163
Okay. So, Al,
how can we help you?
249
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:03,562
Just stay out of it.
250
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,501
What if we happen
to run across Rowena?
251
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,833
She's armed and dangerous.
252
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,373
Leave her to
the professionals.
253
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:09,429
Dear Abby?
254
00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:10,566
Dr. Ruth?
255
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,133
Sorry to inconvenience
you good people.
256
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:14,372
IAN: Wait, wait.
Before you go,
257
00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:17,510
there's one thing
that's been troubling me.
258
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,050
Just one?
Sir?
259
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:22,144
You look familiar.
We've met before.
260
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:23,518
We have?
261
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,056
He's a cupid.
262
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,352
Of course. It must have been, what,
six months ago, when lan and I met?
263
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,122
No ma'am. We had
nothing to do with that.
264
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:32,129
Oh.
It was 1974.
265
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,391
1974?
266
00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:35,626
Of course! Wendy Watson!
267
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:36,793
Wendy Watson?
268
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,530
She was destined
to be your true love.
269
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:41,038
But she ran off with my
best friend. Yes, sir.
270
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,698
If it's any consolation,
271
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,369
my aim has gotten
much better since then.
272
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:46,706
Good day.
273
00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:54,109
Wendy Watson?
274
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:56,586
(CHUCKLES) Long story.
I have time.
275
00:15:56,655 --> 00:16:00,523
Not if you're going to find a dress
for the wedding of the century.
276
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:02,355
What are you talking about?
277
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:04,293
Larabee Link and Cinderella.
278
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:07,491
If I was a cupid and I
wanted to eliminate love,
279
00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:08,965
that's where I'd start.
280
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,400
The most publicized
wedding of the year.
281
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,631
Yeah, everybody knows
about that wedding.
282
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,174
I mean, it's bigger than
Prince Charles and Lady Di,
283
00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:17,367
Sean and Madonna.
284
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:18,569
Clark Kent and Lois Lane.
285
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,976
They got married?
You weren't invited?
286
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,035
No.
287
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:25,173
Okay, so we're going to
the wedding of the century.
288
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,219
What about Al? (SCOFFS)
He can find his own date.
289
00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:30,282
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
290
00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:44,391
Hey!
291
00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:45,861
(GRUNTS)
292
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,463
This is a private wedding.
And there's no slime-sucking,
293
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,940
yellow journalist
toads allowed.
294
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,477
Keep him out.
295
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,846
Just getting
my camera.
296
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,250
This may take some finesse.
297
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,827
Every gossip-mongering reporter
in the world wants to get in there.
298
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:13,990
You know, the Scandal Sheets have
even hired helicopters to spy on it.
299
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:17,695
What could you possibly think of
that they haven't tried already?
300
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:20,233
Divine intervention.
301
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,301
(GRUNTING)
302
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:30,081
Yellow journalist toad.
303
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,219
Disgraceful.
Some people will do anything.
304
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:43,159
Imagine masquerading
as a priest
305
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:46,023
and invading the sanctity
of a wedding ceremony.
306
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,360
Imagine.
307
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,863
These heartless cowards.
308
00:17:49,935 --> 00:17:51,493
I'm sorry you had
to see that, Father.
309
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,403
Infidels are a fact
of life in my business.
310
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:55,732
Rest easy, my son.
311
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,435
Thank you, Father.
312
00:17:57,776 --> 00:17:59,038
Infidels?
313
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:01,374
Come along, Sister.
314
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:06,879
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
315
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:23,098
All right!
316
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:30,433
Well, that should make for a
very interesting cover photo.
317
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:40,943
Listen, are you sure it was such a
wise idea to throw the priest out?
318
00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:42,418
What's the point
of letting him perform
319
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,183
the marriage ceremony if
it means he's going to be
320
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:47,020
performing the last rites
a few minutes later?
321
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:49,720
Believe me, they'll thank us for this.
322
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:51,863
If they don't arrest us.
323
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,295
Have faith.
324
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:07,512
Time to bind two people
together in holy matrimony.
325
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,609
Keep your eyes open.
326
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,045
I wouldn't miss it.
327
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,192
Oh, my son.
328
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,595
Where's Father Murray?
Out of town.
329
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,326
Out of town?
In the Sudan.
330
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,301
No! No, no. That's not going to
work. Look, I was depending on him.
331
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,430
For emotional support
during this special time.
332
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,568
For my motivation.
Okay.
333
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,207
Okay, breathe.
334
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:41,303
What am I feeling now?
Uh, I'm felling...
335
00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:43,144
What am I feeling now?
336
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:44,739
You're in love.
337
00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:46,576
Love?
338
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,419
Yes, the love thing.
Okay.
339
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:49,476
It's gonna work.
340
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:52,023
Everything's going
to be just fine. Now,
341
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,684
this is the wedding
ceremony, all right?
342
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,388
Now, it transcends the
conventional poetic rhetoric
343
00:19:57,462 --> 00:20:01,159
and digs deep into the soul
to find the naked truths.
344
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:07,405
"Oh, baby, spread your wings
and let me come inside."
345
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:11,573
Rod Stewart.
God, I love that man.
346
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,773
Truly inspirational.
347
00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:15,474
I know.
348
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:27,958
(GASPS) I'm sorry, I was just
looking for the, uh, fruit punch. Yes.
349
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:30,790
(COUGHS) I have such
a dry throat. Sorry.
350
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:38,733
Do you take her,
your bodies perspiring,
351
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:42,798
your blood surging,
352
00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:44,774
your organs throbbing,
353
00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:48,039
your fluids mixing,
354
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,844
until death pulls you both
into the flaming pits of hell?
355
00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:56,315
I do.
356
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:57,582
Ditto.
357
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:09,058
By the power vested
in me by God
358
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:12,660
and the state of California,
I pronounce you...
359
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:13,966
lan!
360
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,140
(GRUNTING)
361
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:26,616
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
362
00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:32,479
Move out!
363
00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:42,662
It gets worse. Get up,
lady. You look nice.
364
00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:43,962
Thanks.
365
00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:53,068
She got away.
366
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,373
She couldn't have.
She'd have passed us,
367
00:21:54,446 --> 00:21:55,708
or went over the side.
368
00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:56,805
So what are
you saying?
369
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,440
ROWENA: She's saying
I'm still here.
370
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:01,117
(LAUGHS) Oh!
371
00:22:01,186 --> 00:22:02,710
Why didn't you say so?
372
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:05,518
Chalk up two more idiots
dying for love.
373
00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:16,457
But look,
you're a cupid.
374
00:22:16,535 --> 00:22:20,437
I mean, you're supposed to make people
fall in love, not kill each other.
375
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:23,637
Love, death. In the long
run, what difference is there?
376
00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:27,440
Well, when you're in love,
you skip through fields
377
00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:30,174
picking flowers
and singing show tunes.
378
00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:33,645
And when you're dead,
well, you rot.
379
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,518
You mortals know
so little about love.
380
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:41,589
Do I detect just a hint
of bitterness in your voice?
381
00:22:42,227 --> 00:22:43,956
I was in love once.
382
00:22:44,329 --> 00:22:45,318
Ah.
383
00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:47,456
I hear a show tune coming.
384
00:22:47,799 --> 00:22:50,393
I first saw him
on the beach on Corfu.
385
00:22:52,003 --> 00:22:55,530
He was the most beautiful man
who ever walked the Earth.
386
00:22:56,341 --> 00:23:00,710
And his heart was as kind
as his face was handsome.
387
00:23:02,347 --> 00:23:04,042
I know that guy.
388
00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:06,983
You know, the guy... The guy
downstairs who was asking about her?
389
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,748
Right. Right. He said
he was very eager to see you.
390
00:23:09,821 --> 00:23:12,153
He said something about being
terribly sorry that he stood...
391
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,089
They took him from me!
392
00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:16,118
They?
393
00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:18,958
It's forbidden for a cupid
to love a mortal.
394
00:23:19,030 --> 00:23:21,328
So they wiped
his memory of me,
395
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:24,128
and made him fall in love
with another.
396
00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:27,730
That's terrible.
397
00:23:28,673 --> 00:23:30,265
It is, isn't it?
398
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:33,537
But I will have
my revenge.
399
00:23:34,279 --> 00:23:37,009
Because if I can't love,
then no one can.
400
00:23:37,949 --> 00:23:39,746
And anyone who tries,
401
00:23:41,853 --> 00:23:42,945
dies.
402
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,411
Yes.
403
00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:47,552
You seem like
a loving couple.
404
00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:48,820
(BOTH LAUGH)
What?
405
00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:49,986
Us?
Us?
406
00:23:50,695 --> 00:23:52,890
No. This cow? We hate each other.
407
00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:56,365
Loathe. Despise.
Detest. " Cow"?
408
00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:59,429
You can't hide
true love from a cupid.
409
00:23:59,738 --> 00:24:02,138
And you can't hide
from my arrow.
410
00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:05,303
(BOTH SCREAMING)
411
00:24:09,347 --> 00:24:10,575
"Cow"?
412
00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:13,010
I meant it
with affection.
413
00:24:13,084 --> 00:24:14,073
You...
414
00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:21,549
Give me your hand.
415
00:24:21,626 --> 00:24:22,615
Right here, sir.
416
00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:27,591
(EXHALES)
417
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:30,499
So who invited you,
the bride or the groom?
418
00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:32,867
It took us six months
to set this up,
419
00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:36,066
and you ruined it
in just six minutes.
420
00:24:36,341 --> 00:24:38,138
Seal off the grounds.
421
00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:41,740
Are you saying
this was a cupid sting?
422
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,713
I told you to leave this
to the professionals.
423
00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:44,840
And I meant it.
424
00:24:44,916 --> 00:24:45,905
If you get involved again,
425
00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:47,349
we will be forced
to take action.
426
00:24:47,419 --> 00:24:48,784
You'll cancel
our valentines?
427
00:24:48,854 --> 00:24:50,981
No, sir,
I'll break your hearts.
428
00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:53,752
I will make you forget you've
known each other forever.
429
00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:55,884
You play tough.
I'm a cupid.
430
00:24:56,628 --> 00:24:58,061
It's my job.
431
00:24:59,531 --> 00:25:02,022
Well, maybe it's not
a total loss.
432
00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:04,092
How do you figure that,
ma'am?
433
00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:06,364
Maybe there's
some cake left.
434
00:25:16,214 --> 00:25:19,672
You know, love is a lot more
complicated than I thought.
435
00:25:19,818 --> 00:25:22,651
Maybe we should leave it
to the professionals.
436
00:25:22,721 --> 00:25:25,417
They couldn't do much worse
than we did.
437
00:25:25,490 --> 00:25:26,752
You know...
438
00:25:26,992 --> 00:25:29,961
Do you really think they could
make us forget about each other?
439
00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:33,020
After all we've
been through? Never.
440
00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:35,924
Good. I didn't think so.
441
00:25:41,873 --> 00:25:43,534
And you know...
What?
442
00:25:44,576 --> 00:25:47,773
If they did, I could
always look up Wendy Watson.
443
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,928
Okay, it should be ready now.
Let's check and see.
444
00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:09,327
Smells delicious.
445
00:26:11,169 --> 00:26:14,036
A little pepper, and your
casserole should be ready.
446
00:26:14,105 --> 00:26:17,768
Okay. Now, ladies,
let's go for some aerobics.
447
00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:19,571
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
448
00:26:19,644 --> 00:26:21,635
All right. Are you ready?
449
00:26:22,013 --> 00:26:26,074
One, two, three, four.
450
00:26:26,151 --> 00:26:28,984
Feel the extension.
Come on, now.
451
00:26:32,390 --> 00:26:35,791
One, two, three, four.
452
00:26:36,194 --> 00:26:38,788
One, two, three.
453
00:26:38,897 --> 00:26:41,832
What do you think, Doc?
Can she cook or what?
454
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,626
I'm taping
a classic here.
455
00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:47,637
I'm sure no one who ever
sees it will forget it.
456
00:26:47,706 --> 00:26:49,936
Yeah. What's
with the collar?
457
00:26:51,509 --> 00:26:53,670
I found Jesus.
458
00:26:53,745 --> 00:26:56,714
Great. You told him
we only pay scale, right?
459
00:26:59,017 --> 00:27:01,611
BAMBl: Three, four.
Reach down.
460
00:27:01,853 --> 00:27:04,344
Two, three...
461
00:27:05,090 --> 00:27:08,821
Good. Two, three, four.
462
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,418
(SINGING) Bikini baking
with Bambi
463
00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:15,428
Is so much fun
464
00:27:16,167 --> 00:27:18,727
You bake tasty treats
465
00:27:19,604 --> 00:27:22,573
Then tighten your buns
466
00:27:26,511 --> 00:27:28,672
Hey, babe.
What's shaking?
467
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:29,907
Oh, my fist.
468
00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:31,073
(LAUGHS)
469
00:27:31,149 --> 00:27:33,379
Listen, if you ever get tired
of playing second banana,
470
00:27:33,451 --> 00:27:34,782
I got a show for you.
471
00:27:34,853 --> 00:27:39,017
Really? You know, I'd rather eat live
scorpions and be boiled in bacon grease.
472
00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:42,890
Ooh. Do it nude, we got
a primetime special.
473
00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:44,428
I'm learning.
474
00:27:57,609 --> 00:27:59,372
Hey! How did...
475
00:28:06,985 --> 00:28:08,816
I don't know who you are,
476
00:28:08,987 --> 00:28:11,114
but I know a star
when I see one.
477
00:28:11,189 --> 00:28:12,417
(LAUGHS)
478
00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:22,227
You got that right, lover boy.
More than you know.
479
00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:26,159
(THUD)
480
00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:49,921
(HUMMING)
481
00:28:52,130 --> 00:28:53,290
(SIGHS)
482
00:28:53,364 --> 00:28:55,559
"If you're reading this,
so much for surprising you
483
00:28:55,633 --> 00:28:57,225
"with a champagne
breakfast in bed."
484
00:28:57,302 --> 00:28:58,326
Hmm.
485
00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,633
"Hold off on the bowl
of Chocolate Cheese Chews,
486
00:29:00,705 --> 00:29:03,105
"I'm preparing
my famous omelets."
487
00:29:04,509 --> 00:29:06,670
What's wrong with
Chocolate Cheese Chews?
488
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,007
(PHONE RINGING)
489
00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:15,079
(CLEARS THROAT)
490
00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:16,677
Hello?
491
00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,690
Randi, isn't it
a glorious day?
492
00:29:20,058 --> 00:29:22,925
The kind of day that
exists only in fantasies!
493
00:29:22,994 --> 00:29:27,397
The kind of glorious days I fantasize
about don't include you, Skip.
494
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:30,627
(LAUGHS) Well, then I'm going
to make your fantasies come true.
495
00:29:30,702 --> 00:29:33,068
You will never see me again.
496
00:29:33,538 --> 00:29:34,732
You're leaving?
497
00:29:34,806 --> 00:29:37,604
No, you are.
I'm canceling lan's show.
498
00:29:38,176 --> 00:29:40,508
You can't.
I need that show to help...
499
00:29:40,578 --> 00:29:41,943
Toodle-Ioo!
500
00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:44,170
(SIGHS)
501
00:29:45,717 --> 00:29:47,014
(DIAL TONE)
502
00:29:48,052 --> 00:29:49,144
...cure.
503
00:29:50,722 --> 00:29:54,419
That lowlife, perverted,
disgusting snake.
504
00:29:55,527 --> 00:29:57,188
He can't do that.
505
00:29:57,595 --> 00:29:59,688
He can't do that.
506
00:30:06,437 --> 00:30:07,529
Skip.
507
00:30:07,605 --> 00:30:09,334
I can't believe it!
508
00:30:17,348 --> 00:30:18,645
(SIGHS)
509
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:30,822
"Skip has cancelled our show.
I've gone to kill him.
510
00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:33,456
"Back when the deed is done."
511
00:30:35,066 --> 00:30:36,055
(GRUNTS)
512
00:31:24,315 --> 00:31:25,577
(CLICKS TONGUE) Damn!
513
00:31:40,331 --> 00:31:44,392
You are a no-good,
disgusting, perverted snake.
514
00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:49,400
Listen, you can't
cancel our show.
515
00:31:49,474 --> 00:31:50,964
Have a jelly bean.
It'll do you good.
516
00:31:51,042 --> 00:31:54,739
Don't patronize me.
I demand an explanation here.
517
00:31:54,812 --> 00:31:57,838
Because, you see, How
Strange just happens to be
518
00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:01,317
the highest-rated show
on this two-bit TV station.
519
00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:02,883
Yeah, but ratings
aren't everything.
520
00:32:02,954 --> 00:32:05,616
You know, we have to consider our
responsibility to the community.
521
00:32:05,690 --> 00:32:07,089
Excuse me.
522
00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:10,059
This from the man who created
Bikini Baking with Bambi?
523
00:32:10,128 --> 00:32:11,459
Skip, Skip, listen...
524
00:32:11,529 --> 00:32:14,896
Dr. Love's live call-in show will
be more than just entertainment.
525
00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:16,991
What she does aerobics
and bakes, too?
526
00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:19,434
Dr. Love's a warm
and caring individual
527
00:32:19,504 --> 00:32:22,234
who lights up the screen and
the lives of everyone around her.
528
00:32:22,307 --> 00:32:23,968
Let me guess,
she talks about sex
529
00:32:24,042 --> 00:32:26,010
while wearing nothing
but Christmas tree lights.
530
00:32:26,077 --> 00:32:28,045
She'll help lost souls
find themselves.
531
00:32:28,112 --> 00:32:30,444
And isn't that what
communicating is all about?
532
00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:31,846
Isn't that, ultimately,
533
00:32:31,916 --> 00:32:33,850
our responsibility
as broadcasters?
534
00:32:33,918 --> 00:32:34,942
(SIGHS)
535
00:32:35,019 --> 00:32:37,214
Don't worry.
You'll love her.
536
00:32:40,425 --> 00:32:41,858
I know I do.
537
00:32:48,266 --> 00:32:50,860
Tell me that isn't Dr. Love.
538
00:32:50,935 --> 00:32:55,770
(CHUCKLES) I can understand a woman being
threatened by Dr. Love's awesome beauty.
539
00:32:56,007 --> 00:32:59,033
But don't worry. To
know her is to love her.
540
00:32:59,677 --> 00:33:02,077
There is no way she is
going on our TV show.
541
00:33:02,146 --> 00:33:04,080
She's a killer.
542
00:33:04,882 --> 00:33:07,442
There's no saying what she
might do, and I won't...
543
00:33:09,420 --> 00:33:12,856
...be able to live
without you. I love you.
544
00:33:12,924 --> 00:33:15,688
No, no I can't.
I love her.
545
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:19,355
Oh, I don't care. I love you, and
I'll do anything I can to have you.
546
00:33:19,430 --> 00:33:20,988
No. No!
547
00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:53,119
(GRUNTS)
548
00:33:58,336 --> 00:33:59,325
(GRUNTS)
549
00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:08,312
(GRUNTING)
550
00:35:03,334 --> 00:35:04,323
SKIP: Please!
551
00:35:05,203 --> 00:35:06,192
(GRUNTS)
552
00:35:08,706 --> 00:35:11,834
You are the most exciting
man I have ever met.
553
00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:13,672
And I want you now.
554
00:35:14,045 --> 00:35:16,343
I'm flattered, but my heart
belongs to Dr. Love.
555
00:35:16,414 --> 00:35:18,814
But your body belongs to me.
556
00:35:18,883 --> 00:35:21,511
I love her. My devotion
to her is absolute.
557
00:35:21,853 --> 00:35:23,616
(RIPPING)
558
00:35:23,688 --> 00:35:25,383
(PANTING)
559
00:35:25,456 --> 00:35:27,822
But then this is sex.
And that's entirely different.
560
00:35:27,892 --> 00:35:28,881
Yes.
561
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,188
(MOANING)
562
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:47,801
(BOTH MOANING)
563
00:35:50,314 --> 00:35:51,838
(GROWLING)
564
00:35:53,718 --> 00:35:54,707
Whoa!
565
00:35:54,785 --> 00:35:56,116
(RANDI SNARLING)
566
00:35:56,854 --> 00:35:59,152
... my levels?
Want me to speak up louder?
567
00:36:00,224 --> 00:36:01,213
I'll try.
568
00:36:01,526 --> 00:36:02,515
MAN: Nice easy zoom.
569
00:36:04,228 --> 00:36:05,923
That's very good.
Okay, we're good.
570
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:07,555
Okay, camera one standby.
571
00:36:12,436 --> 00:36:15,166
Five, four, three,
572
00:36:15,439 --> 00:36:17,168
two, one!
573
00:36:18,309 --> 00:36:20,573
FEMALE NARRATOR: You're
on the air with Dr. Love.
574
00:36:46,637 --> 00:36:48,366
(GRUNTING)
575
00:37:18,936 --> 00:37:21,734
IAN: Steady, steady.
576
00:37:23,507 --> 00:37:24,940
(PANTING)
577
00:37:40,024 --> 00:37:43,289
You sit in your Barcaloungers
sucking back Buds
578
00:37:43,361 --> 00:37:45,522
with your arm
around your girl
579
00:37:45,830 --> 00:37:48,355
and you think you know
what love is?
580
00:37:48,499 --> 00:37:50,831
(PANTING)
581
00:37:51,636 --> 00:37:53,035
I never thought I'd say this,
582
00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:54,696
but you're too much
woman for me.
583
00:37:54,772 --> 00:37:56,672
(PANTING)
584
00:37:56,741 --> 00:37:58,868
(GROWLING) Oh, baby!
585
00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:00,504
Randi!
586
00:38:01,412 --> 00:38:04,108
I see you've been
having a good meeting.
587
00:38:05,349 --> 00:38:06,646
(RANDI SCREAMS)
588
00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:10,777
This is not what it seems.
589
00:38:10,855 --> 00:38:12,652
Of that I am certain.
590
00:38:12,723 --> 00:38:14,486
No, no. See.
591
00:38:14,925 --> 00:38:16,483
She's my true love.
592
00:38:18,996 --> 00:38:21,487
My man! I need my man!
593
00:38:21,565 --> 00:38:23,226
Oh, please!
594
00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:27,900
ROWENA: What do you know about
the pain that comes from love?
595
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:30,270
Of the sweet anguish
of passion?
596
00:38:30,574 --> 00:38:34,510
Of the despair that takes over
when you've lost your heart forever?
597
00:38:34,679 --> 00:38:38,911
You've reduced love to greeting
card wishes and Lionel Richie.
598
00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:41,849
Fire!
599
00:38:42,586 --> 00:38:45,020
Out! Fire! Out, now! Quick!
600
00:38:46,223 --> 00:38:48,555
ROWENA: Of the sweet
anguish of passion.
601
00:38:50,728 --> 00:38:54,425
You aren't worthy of love.
The arrow gave you love...
602
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,626
(GROANING)
603
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,164
RANDl: Lan! And the
arrow can take it away.
604
00:39:01,706 --> 00:39:03,037
(RANDI GROWLING)
605
00:39:04,141 --> 00:39:07,736
What are you doing? Why are
you keeping me from my man?
606
00:39:10,448 --> 00:39:11,574
RANDl: Come on, lan.
607
00:39:11,649 --> 00:39:12,809
But don't fret.
608
00:39:14,018 --> 00:39:17,249
Because how important can love
be if it's so easy to lose?
609
00:39:18,823 --> 00:39:20,814
You'll like hate much better.
610
00:39:26,497 --> 00:39:27,759
Got it!
611
00:39:32,703 --> 00:39:34,136
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
612
00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:12,037
You okay?
613
00:40:12,543 --> 00:40:15,171
Randi, baby.
614
00:40:15,946 --> 00:40:19,279
I've decided that my heart's
big enough for both of you.
615
00:40:19,683 --> 00:40:20,672
(GRUNTS)
616
00:40:22,119 --> 00:40:24,451
I'm feeling much
better now. Thank you.
617
00:40:24,522 --> 00:40:26,114
I'll say one thing
for Skip.
618
00:40:26,190 --> 00:40:28,351
He's certainly helped you
develop your left hook.
619
00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:29,415
(CHUCKLES)
620
00:40:32,363 --> 00:40:33,352
Come, let's go.
621
00:40:34,465 --> 00:40:35,454
(DOOR OPENS)
622
00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:37,233
What a woman.
623
00:40:38,002 --> 00:40:38,991
(DOOR CLOSES)
624
00:40:42,807 --> 00:40:46,174
It's not often I get to work
directly with civilians.
625
00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:48,168
Thank you for your
quick thinking.
626
00:40:48,245 --> 00:40:49,576
What did you do?
627
00:40:49,647 --> 00:40:53,344
I cut off the live broadcast and fed
it directly into the control booth.
628
00:40:53,417 --> 00:40:56,648
The only person that got
hit by her arrow was you.
629
00:40:57,521 --> 00:40:59,284
But I don't know what I
would have done after that
630
00:40:59,356 --> 00:41:01,824
if you hadn't arrived
just in the nick of time.
631
00:41:01,892 --> 00:41:04,122
We were watching
As the World Turns.
632
00:41:04,195 --> 00:41:05,753
Good thing
I switched channels.
633
00:41:05,830 --> 00:41:07,422
You watch
soap operas?
634
00:41:07,498 --> 00:41:10,763
Cupids are incurable
romantics.
635
00:41:10,835 --> 00:41:12,564
Clearly.
Yes.
636
00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:16,304
Let's go away to a distant
cloud somewhere,
637
00:41:17,575 --> 00:41:19,202
just you and me.
638
00:41:20,177 --> 00:41:23,374
I do have a few centuries
of vacation time coming.
639
00:41:23,647 --> 00:41:25,979
You don't know what
you've been missing.
640
00:41:26,050 --> 00:41:29,713
I'm a firm believer in
rehabilitating recidivists, ma'am.
641
00:41:29,787 --> 00:41:32,756
I'll work closely
with Rowena,
642
00:41:33,257 --> 00:41:36,556
on a purely professional
basis, of course.
643
00:41:36,861 --> 00:41:38,658
(CLEARS THROAT)
Of course.
644
00:41:41,966 --> 00:41:43,126
Goodbye.
645
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:44,189
Bye.
646
00:41:46,303 --> 00:41:47,827
(BOTH SIGH)
647
00:41:49,373 --> 00:41:51,739
Well, I think we've
discovered something today.
648
00:41:51,809 --> 00:41:53,208
What's that?
649
00:41:53,444 --> 00:41:57,642
Even the professionals have
some things to learn about love.
650
00:42:11,996 --> 00:42:14,863
It's my job. I'm a cupid.
651
00:42:42,126 --> 00:42:44,993
Ah, Randi. A little shopping?
652
00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:48,793
No, I was thinking, it must
be hard for you, you know,
653
00:42:48,866 --> 00:42:51,596
being thousands of miles
away from home.
654
00:42:51,669 --> 00:42:54,763
So I had your mother send some
of your things from England.
655
00:42:54,838 --> 00:42:56,430
How terribly
thoughtful of you.
656
00:42:56,507 --> 00:42:58,338
You know, there are
some things I miss.
657
00:42:58,409 --> 00:43:00,877
I miss that Edith Hamilton
first edition.
658
00:43:01,679 --> 00:43:03,340
A few Van Morrison
albums.
659
00:43:03,414 --> 00:43:05,644
My Giacometti lithograph.
660
00:43:09,186 --> 00:43:11,279
(LAUGHS)
661
00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:12,650
And old Snorky.
662
00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:15,521
Well, I thought you might
be a little Ionely.
663
00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:17,390
And cold too?
664
00:43:17,461 --> 00:43:20,157
Well, you know how cold these
winters can be on the beach.
665
00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:24,098
True, true. The temperature
nearly dropped to 60 last night.
666
00:43:24,168 --> 00:43:26,659
But that is not to say
I don't appreciate
667
00:43:27,571 --> 00:43:31,598
my baby spoon,
my elementary school diploma,
668
00:43:32,176 --> 00:43:33,370
and college yearbook, but...
669
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:34,536
Ah-ha!
670
00:43:35,245 --> 00:43:36,337
Ah-ha?
671
00:43:36,914 --> 00:43:39,815
No, I mean...
Ha, ha, ha.
672
00:43:39,883 --> 00:43:42,681
How amusing that your mother
should put this in the box.
673
00:43:42,753 --> 00:43:44,778
Yes, how very amusing.
674
00:43:44,855 --> 00:43:49,792
I mean, it's always so funny to see
how people looked and dressed back then.
675
00:43:49,860 --> 00:43:52,522
Is that you with
the L-shaped sideburns?
676
00:43:52,596 --> 00:43:53,790
Page 83.
677
00:43:53,864 --> 00:43:55,832
Page 83?
Wendy Watson.
678
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,599
Wendy Watson?
679
00:43:57,668 --> 00:44:00,228
The reason you had this
package shipped from London.
680
00:44:00,304 --> 00:44:04,365
You just want to see what the potential
love of my life really looks like.
681
00:44:04,441 --> 00:44:06,238
(CHUCKLES) Well, not really,
but I mean, you know,
682
00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:08,835
as long as it's here,
it wouldn't hurt to peek.
683
00:44:08,912 --> 00:44:09,901
83...
684
00:44:11,415 --> 00:44:12,404
Ah!
685
00:44:12,683 --> 00:44:16,016
Dean's list. Miss Brighton?
686
00:44:16,253 --> 00:44:20,349
Do you know, I forgot how tight
those hot pants really were.
687
00:44:22,059 --> 00:44:24,152
She's perfect in every way.
688
00:44:24,228 --> 00:44:27,322
And, indeed, all of her
husbands thought so too.
689
00:44:28,232 --> 00:44:30,792
Husbands?
Oh, all four of them.
690
00:44:30,868 --> 00:44:33,098
Or was it five?
I forget.
691
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:36,139
I haven't seen her since
she opened a clothing shop.
692
00:44:36,206 --> 00:44:38,333
String bikinis and sweaters, I presume.
693
00:44:38,409 --> 00:44:42,072
Oh, active wear for the
full-figured woman.
694
00:44:42,646 --> 00:44:44,113
Full-figured?
Hmm.
695
00:44:44,548 --> 00:44:45,810
Big bust.
696
00:44:47,317 --> 00:44:51,344
Big bottom. Big thighs.
Big chins.
697
00:44:51,955 --> 00:44:53,252
Big chin?
698
00:44:53,691 --> 00:44:59,357
Can you believe she dared
to model her own sportswear.
699
00:45:01,331 --> 00:45:02,423
What's that for?
700
00:45:02,499 --> 00:45:03,864
For lying.
701
00:45:05,202 --> 00:45:06,226
Who's lying?
702
00:45:06,303 --> 00:45:07,770
You're lying.
50305
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