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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,126 Bye-bye. 2 00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,637 IAN: When you last saw us, things weren't looking very good. 3 00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:09,732 I was on the verge of fame, fortune and a place in academic history. 4 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:12,869 That was Monumental Pictures in Hollywood, Dad. 5 00:00:13,913 --> 00:00:15,141 They want to buy my book. 6 00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:20,377 IAN: But then the dead started walking the earth and eating human flesh. 7 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,349 I couldn't do that. 8 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:25,516 IAN: I had a disagreement with my department head, Dr. Stevens. 9 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,288 I hope this book makes you very wealthy, 10 00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:32,291 because you won't be receiving a salary from this university anymore. 11 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,596 This is Charlie Beaudine, the producer I was telling you about. 12 00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:37,499 IAN: Charlie Beaudine arrived from Hollywood. 13 00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:40,971 I can't tell you how happy I am to be here. 14 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,801 Pig. 15 00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:45,968 Is this any way to treat the man you love? 16 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,035 Wait a minute. 17 00:00:47,113 --> 00:00:49,547 And he turned out to be Randi's old lover, who didn't really want my book. 18 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:50,810 He wanted her. 19 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:51,908 Do you two know each other? 20 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,419 I had another spat with Dr. Stevens, 21 00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:56,352 who discovered the ancient staff of Gilgamesh. 22 00:00:56,423 --> 00:01:01,360 I will have dominion over the whole world of the dead. 23 00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:04,186 You'll need the third bolt for that, 24 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:07,457 and it's in the British Museum, heavily guarded. 25 00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,365 Against the living. 26 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:14,733 Get him! Help me! 27 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:15,832 Go! 28 00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,236 Randi, tell me... 29 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,142 lan... IAN: Then, if that wasn't enough... 30 00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:27,812 lan! Lan! Oh, my God. Help, please. 31 00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:30,379 No. ... I got killed. 32 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,015 I'm not leaving. 33 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,356 And Randi refused to go back to the United States. 34 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:38,591 I'm not going. Not now, not ever. So let's just drop it, okay? 35 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:41,997 There's a full moon coming. Doesn't anybody realize that? 36 00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:44,559 Okay, Randi, you've made your point. 37 00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:49,196 The discussion is over. We won't talk about it anymore. 38 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:50,935 Agreed? 39 00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:55,140 IAN: So, naturally, Charlie drugged her and put her on the plane anyway. 40 00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:06,981 Why the devil was she so concerned about the full moon? 41 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:11,323 IAN: All in all, I've had better weeks. 42 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,261 Excuse me, please. Thank you. 43 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,874 ANNIE: Your large gin and tonic, Mr. Massey. 44 00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:32,601 Charlie? Right here, babe. 45 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:35,375 Where am I? 46 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:38,645 Oh, about 15,000 feet over the Los Angeles basin. 47 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:40,585 I'm in an airplane. 48 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:45,090 Relax, in an hour, we're going to be walking on a beach in the moonlight. 49 00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:46,923 Moonlight? 50 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:52,796 Oh, my God. 51 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,665 What's the matter with you? 52 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:56,759 (PANTING) I've got to get off this plane. 53 00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:58,303 We're going to be on the ground in 20 minutes. 54 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,202 That's too late! Read this. 55 00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,400 It's a terrific article on sperm whales. 56 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:04,636 Do you want everyone to die? 57 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:05,973 (SCREAMS) 58 00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,410 Is everything all right? 59 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:12,008 She's just not feeling very well. Terrific fear of heights. 60 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,076 Can't leave the ground conscious. 61 00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:16,951 Please listen to me. You've got to understand. 62 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:20,220 I'm about to become violently ill. 63 00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:22,092 (RANDI GRUNTS) 64 00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:26,059 Here, here, sit back. Sit, 65 00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:28,929 and enjoy the full moon. No. 66 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,035 (GASPING) 67 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,834 You've got to get me off this plane. 68 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,907 Please, miss, get a hold of yourself. 69 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,840 Haven't you got any more of those tranquilizers? 70 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:38,934 No. 71 00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:41,142 (SCREAMING) 72 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,678 Please get out. Please get out. 73 00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:52,250 MAN: Hey, what's going on? 74 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,314 (RANDI GRUNTS) 75 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,859 She's a little dramatic, but that's the girl I love. 76 00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,230 (GRUNTING) 77 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,929 Please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts. 78 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,803 (GROWLING) 79 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,105 PILO T: The temperature in Los Angeles... 80 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:11,204 (ROARS) 81 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:12,774 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 82 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,843 What the hell was that? Captain, we have trouble. 83 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,076 A crazy woman's locked herself in the lavatory, 84 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,313 and there's a dog loose in the cargo hold. 85 00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:23,753 I hate weekend flights. 86 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,725 Get us priority landing clearance. 87 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:27,782 Aye, aye, sir. 88 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:31,387 LA Tower, this is Flight 357. Would you confirm inbound? 89 00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:32,761 Have you seen my girlfriend? 90 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,322 She probably took a seat. 91 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,925 Now, please, bring your seat back to its full upright position. 92 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,095 Yeah, I'll just take a check. 93 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,902 And plant your bottom down before I kick it across the plane. 94 00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:44,373 Thank you. 95 00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:48,306 So much for the friendly skies. 96 00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:49,643 (GROWLS) 97 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,511 This is your captain speaking. 98 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:56,087 It appears that a small dog 99 00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:59,090 has escaped from its cage in the cargo hold. 100 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:01,023 Oh, poor little thing. 101 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,083 (SCREAMING) 102 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,654 (GROWLING) 103 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,970 Please remain seated and enjoy the rest of your flight. 104 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,175 (SHE WOLF GROWLING) 105 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:24,809 We hope you'll have a pleasant stay in the sunny southland. 106 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:30,511 Doggie, my ass! 107 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:37,661 (GROWLS) 108 00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,362 (WOMEN EXCLAIMING) 109 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,460 (SHE WOLF HOWLING) 110 00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:48,668 (SIREN BLARING) 111 00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:56,179 WOMAN ON RADIO: Prepare to land, Runway 249. 112 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,050 (SHE WOLF GROWLS) 113 00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:07,625 (YELPING) 114 00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:13,326 (TIRES SCREECH) 115 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:28,474 Please quickly and calmly make your way to the nearest exit. 116 00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:31,344 (PEOPLE MUTTERING) 117 00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:33,711 ANNIE: Excuse me. 118 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,220 You're impeding the orderly deplaning of the passengers. 119 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,756 I'm looking for my girlfriend. 120 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:39,724 Look for her outside the plane. 121 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:43,728 Don't mess with me, honey. I'm a prestige club frequent flier, all right? 122 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,128 And I am a ticked-off black belt. 123 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,233 I'm in the way here? MAN: Yeah. 124 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,293 WOMAN: Excuse me. Sorry. 125 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:52,997 Sorry. 126 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,899 (GROWLING) 127 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,467 (MEOWING) 128 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:27,537 What the hell? It's just a cat. 129 00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:34,303 Hey, are you dumb or something? 130 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,910 Hey, you won't catch a dog with that. 131 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,247 (GROWLING) 132 00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:43,612 (ALL SCREAMING) 133 00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:38,842 (SNIFFLES) 134 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:39,969 Lan. 135 00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:57,855 MRS. MATHESON: I can't believe how much I miss her. 136 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,226 She was more than our guest, or lan's student. 137 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,599 She was just like one of our family. 138 00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:08,830 No, she contributed something for her room and board. 139 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:12,972 I contribute. I'm the moral center of this household. 140 00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:15,741 You wouldn't catch her slipping a Mickey into somebody's drink 141 00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,646 and then sticking them on a plane to the States. 142 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,550 It was for her own good, you little hellion. 143 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,315 It was, wasn't it? 144 00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:25,755 I mean, we did do the right thing, didn't we? 145 00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:29,625 No, you didn't. But you meant well. 146 00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,060 (EXCLAIMS) 147 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,735 Welcome back. 148 00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:39,233 She's only been gone two days. 149 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,966 So, how's everything back home? 150 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,065 I was too busy running around to notice. 151 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,871 Can you forgive us? 152 00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:47,945 As long as you don't raise my rent. 153 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,812 (EXCLAIMS) 154 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:02,750 (SIGHS) 155 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,532 It's been hard without you. 156 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,711 I feel so 157 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,339 lost and alone. 158 00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:31,045 See, because I could face my curse before because I knew that 159 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:34,554 you were always going to be there, you know. 160 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:37,562 When I changed, 161 00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:40,694 and when I... When I came back. 162 00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:46,969 I don't know if I can make it without you. 163 00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:53,000 I don't know. 164 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:54,941 (SIGHS) 165 00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,773 I don't know if I want to. 166 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:03,847 Bye. 167 00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:12,687 Goodbye, lan. 168 00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,038 RANDl: How could you? 169 00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:01,609 How could you let him stay here? 170 00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:04,282 I thought you'd be glad to see him. 171 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,915 Glad? Glad? 172 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:11,017 That man drugged me and put me on a plane to LA. 173 00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,826 We were all to blame for that. 174 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:16,259 It was his idea. 175 00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:19,631 We didn't tell you that. 176 00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:21,165 You didn't have to. 177 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,799 Who in the hell do you think you are? 178 00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:37,113 My flight was fine, thank you. But the jet lag is killing me. 179 00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:39,549 Not before I do, it won't. 180 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,915 Have you ever heard of the Constitution? 181 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:46,014 Free will? Common human decency? 182 00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,355 Your behavior is way out of line. 183 00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:49,951 My behavior? 184 00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:52,998 Do you have any idea of the pain you've caused me? 185 00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:54,123 You? 186 00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:58,103 First, you freak out, lock yourself in a bathroom. 187 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,162 Then you disappear in a crowd and skip the country without so much as a 188 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,537 "So long, sailor." 189 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,475 You kidnapped me. Am I supposed to thank you for that? 190 00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:08,911 Do you know how many hours I spent searching for you? 191 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:11,413 Do you realize how worried I was? 192 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:14,782 I mean, this is no way to treat a loving boyfriend. 193 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:17,454 You make me sick. 194 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,651 You are not my boyfriend. 195 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:23,822 You are a two-bit... 196 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,887 Two-bit terrorist. 197 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,058 What I am is someone who cares about you. 198 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:32,228 Would I be here if I didn't? 199 00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:35,199 All right, maybe my methods weren't the greatest, 200 00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:37,868 but all I want is what's best for you. 201 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:42,005 Don't you think I have a say in what's best for me? 202 00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,776 Of course, you do. 203 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:46,945 Randi, after the funeral, you went nuts. 204 00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:50,648 I mean wacko, hysterical, bananas. 205 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,849 You should have seen yourself. 206 00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:54,984 You were practically baying at the moon. 207 00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,928 I believe it. 208 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:04,197 What is it? Nothing. Forget it. 209 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,897 I shouldn't yell at you. 210 00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:12,307 Don't worry about it. 211 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:18,248 It's just... I feel so alone. 212 00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:23,813 You got me, and I love you. 213 00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:35,624 Oh, my Charlie. 214 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,198 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 215 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:42,567 (SCREAMS) 216 00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:45,109 What? What? Is it a Peeping Tom? 217 00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:47,702 Is it that little creep Julian? I'll kill that little pervert. 218 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:51,045 No, it's me. It's me. I'm just not ready for this. 219 00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:52,648 (PANTING) 220 00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,050 It's lan, isn't it? Yes, no, no. 221 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,280 It's... 222 00:15:56,355 --> 00:16:00,257 It's just too much, too soon, that's all. 223 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,654 There was something between you two you haven't told me about, huh? 224 00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:03,752 No. 225 00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:05,755 Yes. 226 00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:10,862 Maybe. 227 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,302 Oh, I don't know. 228 00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:16,503 I don't know, it's just, well... 229 00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:17,872 That's part of what's been bothering me, 230 00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:22,004 but I think I just need some time to work it out before I can... 231 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,108 Well, you know... 232 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,283 Good night. 233 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,883 Oh, lan! 234 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,021 (SHUSHING) 235 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,087 It's me. But you're dead. 236 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:41,527 I'm not thrilled about it, either. 237 00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:46,031 (GRUNTS) 238 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,436 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 239 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,201 Yes? CHARLIE: Randi? 240 00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:50,332 Yes? 241 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,535 Are you all right? I heard you scream. 242 00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:57,241 Yes, I stubbed my toe. Yes. You know what a klutz I am. 243 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,874 Want me to kiss it and make it better? 244 00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:01,749 No, no, no, maybe some other time. Sweet dreams! 245 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:03,185 But, but... 246 00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:08,854 (BURPS) 247 00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,421 He looks good. 248 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:15,091 You're dead and you're still jealous. 249 00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,426 Very tasty. 250 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,068 Oh, my God. 251 00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:29,280 I am dead. 252 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:34,813 Get up. 253 00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:40,347 Now listen to me. 254 00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:42,850 It doesn't matter. Dead or alive. 255 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:45,658 All that matters is that you're with me. 256 00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:51,932 I'd rather be alive. 257 00:17:56,208 --> 00:18:01,077 You know, if you didn't smell so bad, I'd think I was dreaming. 258 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,546 Hungry. 259 00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:12,612 (GROWLS) 260 00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:13,817 (GASPS) 261 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:18,226 I'm dangerous. 262 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,559 I don't belong with you. 263 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:28,729 I don't belong at all. 264 00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,936 Listen, look, I've lost you once already. 265 00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:34,774 I'm not going to lose you again. 266 00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,212 Now just... 267 00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:42,312 Stay here with me, okay? Please. 268 00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:46,180 I'll help you find a cure for this, I promise. 269 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,953 Sounds familiar. 270 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,794 Now we have something in common. 271 00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:58,565 I'm dead, you're a werewolf. 272 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,770 What a delightful couple. 273 00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,140 Imagine our children. 274 00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:08,775 Look, there is hope. 275 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:13,280 If you're here, that means that bitch isn't dead. 276 00:19:13,952 --> 00:19:15,442 She killed me. 277 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:20,951 So, she's still trying to find the third lightning bolt 278 00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:23,460 to complete the staff of Gilgamesh. 279 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:30,166 That's how we'll catch her. And we'll cure you. Maybe even both of us. 280 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,018 (GRUNTS) 281 00:20:09,107 --> 00:20:11,234 (SNIFFING) 282 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,146 Hungry. 283 00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:47,906 (BURPS) 284 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,778 Hungry. 285 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:56,810 (SNIFFS) 286 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,594 Tasty. 287 00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:35,252 You're... 288 00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:38,091 You're a mythology professor, 289 00:21:39,498 --> 00:21:41,022 not a zombie. 290 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:45,129 Food. 291 00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:51,971 You have no reason to give in to this bloodlust. 292 00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:54,840 (BURPS) 293 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,804 Hungry. 294 00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:03,285 You controlled your urges when you were alive, 295 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:08,088 you can certainly control them when you're dead. 296 00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:15,524 On the other hand, 297 00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:20,337 one little snack 298 00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:24,069 can't hurt. 299 00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:26,772 (HISSES) 300 00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:31,678 Lan, no. 301 00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:34,080 Come on. 302 00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:35,980 (SHUSHING) 303 00:22:36,054 --> 00:22:37,282 Hungry. 304 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,187 I know you're hungry. I know. 305 00:22:39,257 --> 00:22:41,350 But just try to think past that right now. 306 00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:45,021 Try and remember. Think. You're lan Matheson. 307 00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:47,588 Professor. You're... 308 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,860 You're my friend. 309 00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:51,664 Oh, God. 310 00:22:53,338 --> 00:22:55,272 What have I become? 311 00:22:57,743 --> 00:22:58,937 (GROANS) 312 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:01,637 Lan. 313 00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:06,175 Lan. 314 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,313 Lan. 315 00:23:12,691 --> 00:23:13,783 Lan. 316 00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:17,658 What's all this then? 317 00:23:18,029 --> 00:23:21,521 It's lan. We have to find him. I think that he might... 318 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,000 It's all right. I understand. 319 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:26,762 I miss him, too. 320 00:23:28,373 --> 00:23:32,366 Earlier tonight, I woke and heard him crying. 321 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,606 Crying? 322 00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:39,148 He wanted his dad to bring him some chocolate milk. 323 00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:42,350 He was two years old. 324 00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:47,089 It was a dream. Just like yours. 325 00:24:08,413 --> 00:24:09,812 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 326 00:24:40,912 --> 00:24:43,506 Hungry. 327 00:24:57,762 --> 00:24:59,491 (THUNDER CRASHING) 328 00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:11,574 GUIDE: Legends say that Babylonian king Gilgamesh stole the staff 329 00:25:11,643 --> 00:25:16,137 crowned with three golden lightning bolts from Dark Lord Utanapishtim, 330 00:25:16,214 --> 00:25:17,909 who ruled the world of the dead with it. 331 00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:22,620 Over the centuries, the staff was broken and dispersed 332 00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:25,121 due to the vagaries of time and war. 333 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:28,250 All that is left is this golden lightning bolt, 334 00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:31,356 one of the two known to be in existence. 335 00:25:32,063 --> 00:25:33,758 What are you doing? 336 00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:35,629 You kidding? This is the hottest pitch I've heard in months. 337 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,031 Bruce Willis is written all over it. 338 00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:39,730 GUIDE: Our exclusive range of Gilgamesh undergarments. Hi, babe, Charlie. 339 00:25:39,804 --> 00:25:40,828 Yeah. Is Skip in? 340 00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:44,706 GUIDE: Of course, the entire story of the staff is told in our lavishly illustrated 341 00:25:44,776 --> 00:25:48,735 exhibit catalog, available for purchase in the museum gift shop. 342 00:25:49,581 --> 00:25:51,310 Any questions? MAN: Yeah. 343 00:25:51,416 --> 00:25:53,316 What happened to the other lightning bolt? 344 00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:56,582 It was stolen last week from a private antiquities dealer. 345 00:25:56,655 --> 00:25:58,589 How hard would it be to steal this one? 346 00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:02,616 Actually, it wouldn't be hard at all. It would be impossible. 347 00:26:03,295 --> 00:26:06,560 No living thing could get past our security system. 348 00:26:06,831 --> 00:26:08,924 What about other things? 349 00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:12,469 This display is protected by armed guards, 350 00:26:13,104 --> 00:26:16,267 round-the-clock surveillance, infra-red sensor beams, 351 00:26:16,341 --> 00:26:17,399 pressure plates under the floor, 352 00:26:17,475 --> 00:26:19,739 and motion detectors in the ceiling. 353 00:26:19,811 --> 00:26:23,042 Dust particles can't get through without being detected. 354 00:26:23,148 --> 00:26:26,515 And if anyone got their hands on the artifact, they'd be shocked. 355 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:28,052 Stunned by their success? 356 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:32,180 Stunned by 50,000 volts of electricity coursing through their body. 357 00:26:32,257 --> 00:26:33,747 (CROWD LAUGHING) 358 00:26:33,825 --> 00:26:36,020 If stealing it sounds too difficult, 359 00:26:36,094 --> 00:26:40,190 we have a beautiful plastic replica, available for only five pounds 360 00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:42,233 in the museum gift shop. 361 00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:44,564 Now, if you'll just follow me this way, 362 00:26:44,636 --> 00:26:47,503 we have King Gilgamesh's bronze loin cloth. 363 00:26:59,517 --> 00:27:01,542 (ZOMBIES GROWLING) 364 00:27:34,686 --> 00:27:36,017 (DOOR OPENS) 365 00:27:58,043 --> 00:27:59,533 Dr. Matheson. 366 00:28:01,046 --> 00:28:04,072 So glad you decided to publish 367 00:28:04,416 --> 00:28:05,940 and perish. 368 00:28:06,451 --> 00:28:08,282 (LAUGHS EVILLY) 369 00:28:12,223 --> 00:28:15,283 I always thought of hell 370 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,828 as an eternal faculty meeting 371 00:28:17,929 --> 00:28:19,829 listening to your jokes. 372 00:28:20,899 --> 00:28:22,730 It seems I was right. 373 00:28:24,335 --> 00:28:26,394 Only half-right, Doctor. 374 00:28:27,305 --> 00:28:30,206 You're not going to last until eternity. 375 00:28:30,341 --> 00:28:34,402 In fact, your brain has already started its irreversible decay. 376 00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:39,073 In just a few short hours, 377 00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:42,381 you will be incapable of any thought 378 00:28:42,454 --> 00:28:44,217 more complex than... 379 00:28:46,357 --> 00:28:47,688 Hungry! 380 00:28:49,994 --> 00:28:51,393 Exactly. 381 00:28:53,531 --> 00:28:55,362 I have plans for you. 382 00:28:57,035 --> 00:28:58,935 I'll die first. 383 00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:01,365 You already have. 384 00:29:03,441 --> 00:29:07,537 You're going on a little field trip to the British Museum. 385 00:29:08,947 --> 00:29:12,041 The third golden lightning bolt. 386 00:29:13,551 --> 00:29:16,452 See how it pays to hire smart help? 387 00:29:18,156 --> 00:29:20,784 What makes you think I'll bring it back? 388 00:29:20,859 --> 00:29:23,293 Oh, just a hunch. 389 00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:28,390 So what do you say to my little plan? 390 00:29:29,467 --> 00:29:32,300 I'll see you in hell first! 391 00:29:33,738 --> 00:29:35,399 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 392 00:29:39,310 --> 00:29:41,073 (ELECTRIC BUZZING) 393 00:29:41,913 --> 00:29:43,175 (GROANING) 394 00:29:51,589 --> 00:29:54,558 Now what do you say to my little plan? 395 00:29:57,962 --> 00:30:00,192 Yes, master. 396 00:30:02,367 --> 00:30:04,426 (LAUGHS SINISTERLY) 397 00:30:08,873 --> 00:30:12,070 Of course, the entire story is told in our lavishly illustrated 398 00:30:12,143 --> 00:30:15,044 exhibit catalog, which is available downstairs for purchase 399 00:30:15,113 --> 00:30:18,276 in our museum gift shop. Are there any questions? 400 00:30:19,350 --> 00:30:20,476 Yeah. 401 00:30:21,753 --> 00:30:24,688 What is so fascinating about that old hunk of scrap? 402 00:30:24,756 --> 00:30:25,780 (CLEARS THROAT) 403 00:30:25,857 --> 00:30:29,588 Excuse me. Feel free to take pictures. I will be right back. 404 00:30:30,428 --> 00:30:32,521 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 405 00:30:34,132 --> 00:30:35,292 What's the big idea? 406 00:30:35,366 --> 00:30:37,459 It was a legitimate question. 407 00:30:37,535 --> 00:30:38,797 Randi, what are you doing here? 408 00:30:38,870 --> 00:30:40,167 I'm fascinated by Gilgamesh. 409 00:30:40,238 --> 00:30:42,069 So see the movie. It'll be out next Christmas. 410 00:30:42,140 --> 00:30:44,665 You're going to love the car chase through the Vatican. 411 00:30:44,742 --> 00:30:48,644 They needed experienced, educated guides with a strong background in mythology. 412 00:30:48,713 --> 00:30:52,479 No, they needed warm bodies to peddle bronze g-strings at three bucks an hour. 413 00:30:52,550 --> 00:30:54,609 No one asked you to take every single tour. 414 00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,551 Well, I'm fascinated by you. 415 00:30:56,621 --> 00:30:59,419 Besides, you haven't answered my question. 416 00:31:00,458 --> 00:31:02,653 I had to get my mind off lan. 417 00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:05,428 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. 418 00:31:05,496 --> 00:31:08,659 Follow me, ladies and gentlemen. Right this way. 419 00:31:11,803 --> 00:31:15,068 This is the silver dagger of Gilgamesh, which he later used 420 00:31:15,139 --> 00:31:18,267 in a fight to the death with the nefarious Lord Helgamite of... 421 00:31:18,843 --> 00:31:20,140 (ZOMBIES GROWLING) 422 00:31:23,314 --> 00:31:26,909 Look at the time. We're closed! Got to go. Come on, everybody. Run. Run! 423 00:31:26,985 --> 00:31:29,215 I need you to run faster now! 424 00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:33,614 (ALL CLAMORING) 425 00:31:34,325 --> 00:31:35,883 (ALL SCREAMING) 426 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,185 Randi, come on. Let's go! 427 00:31:43,301 --> 00:31:44,666 (GUN FIRING) 428 00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:51,007 (ZOMBIES GRUNTING) 429 00:31:53,344 --> 00:31:54,971 (ALARM RINGING) 430 00:31:55,046 --> 00:31:56,138 Lan. 431 00:31:58,983 --> 00:32:00,541 No! Stop it! 432 00:32:02,053 --> 00:32:03,850 (GUN CONTINUES FIRING) 433 00:32:23,841 --> 00:32:25,536 (ELECTRIC BUZZING) 434 00:32:29,247 --> 00:32:30,874 (YELLING) 435 00:32:41,693 --> 00:32:43,490 (ELECTRIC BUZZING) 436 00:32:54,339 --> 00:32:56,034 (ELECTRIC BUZZING) 437 00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:03,011 (GLASS SHATTERING) 438 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,695 Sorry, Charlie. 439 00:33:24,235 --> 00:33:25,793 ZOMBIE: Hungry. 440 00:33:33,044 --> 00:33:34,306 (SCREAMS) 441 00:33:34,379 --> 00:33:35,437 No. 442 00:33:35,747 --> 00:33:37,146 (GASPS) 443 00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:41,785 Lan. 444 00:33:43,488 --> 00:33:44,978 (GASPING) 445 00:34:03,908 --> 00:34:06,433 Prepare her for her destiny. 446 00:34:33,871 --> 00:34:37,807 ZOMBIES: (CHANTING) Hungry. Hungry. 447 00:34:41,779 --> 00:34:44,907 Hungry. Hungry. 448 00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:49,614 Hungry. Hungry. 449 00:34:50,888 --> 00:34:53,482 Hungry. Hungry. 450 00:34:54,592 --> 00:34:57,322 Hungry. Hungry. 451 00:34:58,329 --> 00:35:00,320 Hungry. Hungry. 452 00:35:01,666 --> 00:35:04,760 Hungry. Hungry. 453 00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:13,206 STEVENS: We're so glad you could make it. 454 00:35:13,644 --> 00:35:17,239 The ceremony requires a human sacrifice, 455 00:35:17,748 --> 00:35:21,047 and we didn't have a chance to send out invitations. 456 00:35:21,252 --> 00:35:22,879 RANDl: My God. 457 00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:28,487 (GASPS) 458 00:35:29,227 --> 00:35:30,216 Lan. 459 00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:32,626 STEVENS: Why despair? 460 00:35:32,697 --> 00:35:36,224 You are about to take part in a monumental event. 461 00:35:37,235 --> 00:35:39,135 My ascension to power, 462 00:35:40,738 --> 00:35:43,866 and complete dominion over the dead. 463 00:35:46,410 --> 00:35:48,071 I'd rather watch. 464 00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:50,273 Your participation is vital. 465 00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:54,245 Your life force shall be consumed by the staff, 466 00:35:55,786 --> 00:35:57,185 and with it, 467 00:35:58,289 --> 00:36:00,951 I shall infuse the dead 468 00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:05,292 with flesh and blood. 469 00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:11,166 Hungry. Hungry. 470 00:36:12,937 --> 00:36:15,929 Hungry. Hungry. 471 00:36:20,244 --> 00:36:24,442 I command thee, dark forces of the night. 472 00:36:25,283 --> 00:36:27,183 Bow to me, 473 00:36:27,251 --> 00:36:29,481 your new master. 474 00:36:29,554 --> 00:36:31,249 (THUNDER CRASHING) 475 00:36:36,394 --> 00:36:39,295 The time has come. 476 00:36:43,167 --> 00:36:45,192 (RANDI WHIMPERING) 477 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:51,599 RANDl: Oh, God. 478 00:36:59,684 --> 00:37:01,618 (SCREAMING) 479 00:37:10,294 --> 00:37:12,319 (RANDI GROANING) 480 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,041 (GRUNTS) 481 00:37:34,986 --> 00:37:36,317 (GROWLING) 482 00:37:52,870 --> 00:37:54,428 (HOWLING) 483 00:37:56,741 --> 00:37:58,072 (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) 484 00:37:58,142 --> 00:38:00,201 I take your life, 485 00:38:01,545 --> 00:38:04,742 I take your soul, as mine! 486 00:38:05,883 --> 00:38:06,975 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 487 00:38:07,051 --> 00:38:08,609 (HOWLING) 488 00:38:29,273 --> 00:38:30,740 No! 489 00:38:38,382 --> 00:38:42,580 Your life force is captured in my staff. 490 00:38:43,454 --> 00:38:47,151 Mine, to wield as I please. 491 00:38:48,959 --> 00:38:50,290 (YELLS) 492 00:38:59,770 --> 00:39:01,397 (GROWLING) 493 00:39:04,542 --> 00:39:06,032 (STEVENS SCREAMS) 494 00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:15,979 I take your life, I take your soul as mine! 495 00:39:18,589 --> 00:39:19,920 ZOMBIES: (CHANTING) Hungry. 496 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:26,557 Your life force is captured within my staff. 497 00:39:26,630 --> 00:39:29,292 Mine to wield as I please. 498 00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,597 ALL: Hungry. 499 00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:41,037 Hungry. 500 00:39:43,180 --> 00:39:45,239 IAN: I command you to life! 501 00:39:47,318 --> 00:39:50,253 ALL: Hungry. 502 00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:56,716 Hungry. 503 00:39:59,196 --> 00:40:00,754 (IAN SCREAMS) 504 00:40:05,736 --> 00:40:07,169 RANDl: Lan. 505 00:40:08,973 --> 00:40:10,702 Randi. Randi. 506 00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:15,307 (PANTING) 507 00:40:22,052 --> 00:40:25,954 I don't know about you, but I'm dead. 508 00:41:01,158 --> 00:41:04,286 "Zombie army massacre in British Museum. 509 00:41:04,361 --> 00:41:08,559 "Living dead, culture vultures or vulture bait?" 510 00:41:09,166 --> 00:41:12,135 Do you think it is possible to come back from the dead? 511 00:41:12,203 --> 00:41:13,602 Donny Osmond did. 512 00:41:13,671 --> 00:41:17,505 I told you not to bring this trash into my house, you old cow. 513 00:41:18,909 --> 00:41:20,968 Now, look what you've done. 514 00:41:21,045 --> 00:41:23,980 If it is possible to come back from the dead, 515 00:41:24,415 --> 00:41:28,351 then maybe our son isn't really gone forever after all. 516 00:41:28,552 --> 00:41:30,315 He is, Mum. 517 00:41:30,387 --> 00:41:34,118 I wish he weren't, but we both know he is. 518 00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:36,020 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 519 00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:40,559 I didn't write the news. I only told you what it says. 520 00:41:40,631 --> 00:41:42,997 What it says is a lot of garbage. 521 00:41:43,067 --> 00:41:46,264 I don't want to hear anymore talk about zombies in this house. 522 00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:48,066 Or the living dead. 523 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:51,134 Or Ronny Osgood, whoever that is. 524 00:41:51,208 --> 00:41:53,039 It's Donny Osmond. 525 00:41:53,110 --> 00:41:56,773 Say that again and you have soap for supper, young man. 526 00:41:57,748 --> 00:41:58,874 Dead is... 527 00:41:58,949 --> 00:42:01,349 Hi, Dad. Dead. 528 00:42:05,623 --> 00:42:08,114 Hi, Mum. Hi, everybody. Hi! 529 00:42:11,862 --> 00:42:15,696 IAN: I knew that Dr. Stevens was after the lightning bolt, but I couldn't prove it. 530 00:42:15,766 --> 00:42:18,530 So I faked my own death, and dogged her every move. 531 00:42:18,602 --> 00:42:20,194 Well, why didn't you go to the police? 532 00:42:20,271 --> 00:42:23,729 And say what? That the respected scholar who'd just fired me 533 00:42:23,807 --> 00:42:27,436 was plotting to steal the British Museum's most prized antiquity? 534 00:42:27,511 --> 00:42:28,603 Yes. 535 00:42:29,847 --> 00:42:32,714 And next time you're dead, you better be. 536 00:42:32,783 --> 00:42:34,751 Or I'll kill you myself. 537 00:42:37,922 --> 00:42:39,446 It's a deal. 538 00:42:39,523 --> 00:42:41,115 So, how'd you do it? 539 00:42:41,191 --> 00:42:44,592 It wasn't easy. To maintain the ruse that I was dead, 540 00:42:44,662 --> 00:42:46,186 I had to live in the shadows. 541 00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:49,298 I had to become the shadows, 542 00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:52,597 as I tracked my evil and cunning adversary. 543 00:42:52,670 --> 00:42:54,604 It must have been hell. 544 00:42:57,641 --> 00:42:59,040 Living hell. 545 00:42:59,677 --> 00:43:03,909 But I had a responsibility to my country, to my profession, 546 00:43:04,782 --> 00:43:06,545 and to my fellow man 547 00:43:06,617 --> 00:43:10,075 to foil this insidious plot. 548 00:43:10,154 --> 00:43:11,849 (DOOR CREAKS OPEN) 549 00:43:11,922 --> 00:43:14,220 Aunt Elsa drives a hard bargain. 550 00:43:14,692 --> 00:43:16,922 I think she took advantage of my delirium. 551 00:43:16,994 --> 00:43:20,293 But I've got the movie rights to lan's life story, so... 552 00:43:20,364 --> 00:43:22,161 If the check clears. 553 00:43:24,635 --> 00:43:25,727 (CLEARS THROAT) 554 00:43:25,803 --> 00:43:29,796 I'll just glance at the fine print one more time before you go. 555 00:43:32,009 --> 00:43:33,533 You're leaving? 556 00:43:33,777 --> 00:43:35,870 Yeah, I've been here a couple of weeks. Hollywood time, 557 00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:37,504 that's centuries. 558 00:43:37,581 --> 00:43:40,778 So, I want to get back before I'm ancient history. 559 00:43:41,118 --> 00:43:43,313 Well, don't bother asking me to go. 560 00:43:43,387 --> 00:43:44,649 I won't. 561 00:43:45,956 --> 00:43:47,184 You won't? 562 00:43:47,257 --> 00:43:51,193 I know when I've lost. You're not in love with me anymore. 563 00:43:52,229 --> 00:43:54,459 And it was tight to the death. 564 00:43:56,900 --> 00:43:59,994 And nobody two-times Charlie Beaudine, all right? 565 00:44:05,409 --> 00:44:09,607 I'll always love you, Randi. But, alas, from afar. 566 00:44:11,081 --> 00:44:15,541 Oh, Charlie. Just don't make it too far, okay? 567 00:44:18,022 --> 00:44:20,547 There seem to be a few zeros missing. 568 00:44:20,824 --> 00:44:23,315 Oh, typographical error. 569 00:44:24,028 --> 00:44:25,256 Fatal error. 570 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:26,796 (GROANING) 571 00:44:38,575 --> 00:44:40,600 IAN: Enter lan Stryker, 572 00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:44,205 a brawny, world-weary adventurer 573 00:44:45,249 --> 00:44:49,686 whose chiseled good looks only hint 574 00:44:50,487 --> 00:44:52,978 at this man's endless reserve 575 00:44:53,057 --> 00:44:56,549 of inner-strength. 576 00:44:58,328 --> 00:45:01,161 Doesn't sound like a mythology textbook to me. 577 00:45:01,231 --> 00:45:02,630 Far from it. 578 00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:06,135 "lan Stryker, 579 00:45:07,204 --> 00:45:08,967 "professor of danger." 580 00:45:09,206 --> 00:45:13,905 Skip felt that Matheson wasn't a strong, action-oriented kind of name. 581 00:45:15,179 --> 00:45:17,409 Then again, he's never met me. 582 00:45:18,382 --> 00:45:21,215 So, you're already writing the screenplay? 583 00:45:21,885 --> 00:45:24,979 Don't you think you're getting just a little bit ahead of yourself? 584 00:45:25,055 --> 00:45:28,218 My life story is too good to languish on a shelf. 585 00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:32,791 I know there'll be a movie. Perhaps even a TV series. 586 00:45:32,863 --> 00:45:35,764 Get real. So, am I in it? 587 00:45:35,833 --> 00:45:36,857 In a big way. 588 00:45:36,934 --> 00:45:40,097 But you'll have to wait to see it on the silver screen. 589 00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:44,334 "Randi enters the classroom in her typically clumsy manner." 590 00:45:44,408 --> 00:45:46,137 It's a rough draft. 591 00:45:46,477 --> 00:45:50,811 "She can't take her eyes off him as she settles in her desk. 592 00:45:51,515 --> 00:45:53,983 "Her large, full breasts..." 593 00:45:54,051 --> 00:45:55,313 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) 594 00:45:55,385 --> 00:45:57,046 Very rough. 595 00:45:57,121 --> 00:46:00,613 "... heaving with each wanton, lusty breath 596 00:46:00,691 --> 00:46:02,921 "of unrequited desire"? 597 00:46:04,828 --> 00:46:06,796 I said your part was big one. 598 00:46:06,864 --> 00:46:08,957 Well, it's about to be cut. 599 00:46:09,266 --> 00:46:10,528 (YELLS) 42017

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