All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.UK.S04E05.WEB-DL.1080p-FN.en

RuPaul: Previously on "RuPaul's
Drag Race UK"...

We'll be testing your improv skills

with the new chat show, "Catty
Man."

Monae, I wanna maul ya.

Alan: Oh, so you think it's
funny coming on here

with comedy teeth, do ya?

Well, I did chat, so.
[laughter]

If you don't have anything nice to say,

don't say anything at all.

[singing] Big ol' titties in your face.

She's got a songwriting degree, remember?

RuPaul: Sminty Drop.

Look, when you were twerking
so unenthusiastically,

then I realized that's not the character.

You just don't want to be... [laughter]

Baby. This is not really a
school.

I need you girls to come prepared.

Danny Beard.

You didn't miss a beat, and I
loved every second of it.

Condragulations, you are the winner

of this week's challenge.

Baby.

Shantay, you stay.

Sminty Drop.

Sashay away.

[laughter, sobbing]

[upbeat music]

- Yo.
- Oof.

The eliminations just happened.

I've sent Sminty home.

And I feel guilty, because I know

how bad she wanted to be here.

But if it comes down to lip sync, like,

you're not gonna take me.

"The Manchester Mannequin
started panicking.

"But this is not the last runway
you'll see me on.

"Sminty."
- Amen, girl.

- Amen.
- Love you, Sminty.

I am so proud to be a
Manchester queen with Sminty.

She has done our city so proud.

All: We love you, Sminty!

Miss Smintisha Jones, my ethnic sister

with the fake tan.

All: Oh!

I think a little bit of Sminty
might be pleased to be home,

because she needs to put all of
Gothy's jockstraps

on a boil watch and get that tangerine tan

out of the crack, quick.

Pixie, how are you feeling?

Like, I felt like it could go
to either me or Danny.

Absolutely.
- Like, quite legitimately.

I had a feeling anyway that I
wouldn't get it.

I've never been the girl who,
you know, is the bride.

So, like...

And girl, you smashed it.
- Neither have I, girl.

I'm, like, the bride of Chucky.

[laughter]

I feel like I just completely
smashed the challenge,

and then just to walk in to
Untucked after critiques,

feeling so high from all those
great comments

and have anyone just sit there

and be like, "Danny, Danny,
Danny, Danny, Danny."

I'm sort of looked over a bit.

I'm not being, like, a knob and
being, like, "Oh, I should have won."

But, like, I feel like I spent
my, like, whole career

really trying to prove myself.

And I get so close every time,
and I just, for some reason,

can't get to the end.

Those critiques don't mean
nothing just because you don't

have a badge to prove it.
- I know. I know.

- They meant everything they said.
- It's just, like, I'm just...

Bitch, you were told tonight
you were beautiful.

Just get out of this space.

You are thriving here.

You'll get the win.

Danny is a big personality.

And I think it's difficult to
shine sometimes next to Danny,

because Danny is so good.

Talking of what RuPaul was saying,

she gave you some good bits of advice.

I wasn't prepared.

I didn't put in enough work

to take that character where it
needed to go.

So, I think, instead of kind of
taking a backseat with things

I know that I'm not that good at,

I'm just gonna push extra hard.

And, like, what else can I do?

The way that I thought things
were gonna go here

are not materializing in real life.

And I'm trying to be professional,

but the little voices in the back

are starting to be a bit like,
"Hey, what's going on?"

But knowing that it is a competition,

and we gotta push through, I'm
trying to keep a positive mental attitude,

and, like, just go and attack
the next challenge.

I just have one question.

Who's gonna make the most of
next week's opportunitah?

All: Mah!

Girls, can we go and get all
this crap off ourselves?

Let's go!

Right. RuPaul is looking for a
superstar.

I can't get this off.

I love all these girls.

But they need to bite my dust.

What are you gonna do next
week to improve your runway?

Borrow some of yours and put a
panel in the back.

[laughter]

The competition's really
starting to heat up.

[laughs]

Only one of us can win.

Ooh!

It's time for me to win my own badge!

[yelling]

That's why they call me Cheddar Gorgeous.

RuPaul: The winner crowned the
UK's Next Drag Race Superstar

will receive an all expenses
paid trip to Hollywood

to create their own digital
series with the producers

of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Tonight, with Michelle Visage, Alan Carr,

and extra special guest judge
Hannah Waddingham.

[singing] May the best drag queen
win - [singing] Best drag queen win

[upbeat music]

Come on. Let's go!

[all cheering]

It's a new day in the Werk Room,

and this is definitely the
Olympics of drag.

For Sminty!

If this is a marathon, this is
the pinnacle point

that you would shit yourself.

- So how are we all feeling today?
- Wow. This table's feeling empty.

Empty!

It feels so ridiculously small.

Is the pressure getting, like,
more for some of us?

Yeah, a little bit, yeah,
especially after having

my ass handed to me in critiques
last week.

I think I'm a bit, like, ooh,
this is very real now.

We have to keep on pushing.

I want to get better.

But I'm starting to doubt myself
a little bit.

I'm aware of that, and I'm
trying to keep myself up.

Ru was not happy in those critiques,

and I do not want to be in that
repeat position again.

Like, we need to make her laugh
and smile all the time.

Yeah.
- And I think, with that being said,

we should probably congratulate
Daniel Beardington on the win.

[overlapping chatter]

You were fabulous.
- Danny Beard.

- So good.
- Thanks, girls.

How are you feeling about it today?

It's so emosh.

Like, RuPaul saying, like, great
things about you.

Like, I'm flabbergasted.

I'm not lost for words often, girls.

[laughter]

I have just won another badge.

RuPaul likes me.

The queens are shaking.

Honest to God, I am chuffed to bits.

JB, you've been in the bottom
a couple of times.

That I have.

And it may be the first time
anybody's ever said this,

but you've not had any tops yet.

- I know, I know! I'm [indistinct]!
- What are you gonna do?

You're now the only one
without one of these

gorgeous badges as well.

Everyone else seems to have a badge.

She's the least-decorated queen.

What you gonna do?

Obviously, I want to be in the top,

so I just have to be the best
that I can be.

These queens keep on coming for
me that I'm the only one without a badge.

But not all super queens have badges.

So, you know, go fuck yourselves.

Do you know what I want to know?

How Katrina's magic dildo's doing.

And where is it now?

Please, 'cause I'd like to borrow that.

Do you know, actually... oh,
sorry, I'm just getting a message.

It's saying, "Can we get a hacksaw

to chop this badge in half, just
so we can share it?"

Danny: Hang on. Hang on. I'm
just getting a message.

"No." [laughter]

[siren blaring] all: Ah!

RuPaul: Her Majesty done already
done had herses.

Hello, guvnah.

All: Hello!

Is your spoonful of sugar half-empty?

Does your chimney need sweeping?

Is your ego superfragilistic?

Ooh, Mary, do I have just the
thing for you!

Ooh! What could it be?

Smells like a musical to me, kids.

It does. Absolutely.

Hello, hello, hello.

[overlapping chatter]

Ladies.

You know, education is the
cornerstone of a free society.

So today, I want you to school
the children

in the classic art of throwing shade.

Yeah!

In the great tradition of the
legendary documentary.

"Paris Is Burning,"

the British library is about to
open, officially.

All: Yeah!

Because reading is what?

All: Fundamental!

That's right. [Laughs]

#DragRaceUK.

Honey, I've got my library card,

and I'm ready to read these
bitches to filth.

RuPaul: First up, Cheddar
Gorgeous.

All: Ooh!

Assume the position, dahling.

Me first? But I'm so nice.

I know!

Cheddar Gorgeous, the library is open.

Let's see, shall we?

Ooh, you all look so much better now.

[laughter]

Dakota Schiffer.

Pretty is not an excuse. Put
some makeup on, bitch.

[laughter]

Black Peppa.

Such beauty, such elegance.

But don't get too close, 'cause
you'll see maybe it's Cracked Peppa.

All: Ooh!

And Le Fil. Where's Le Fil?

I can't quite make Le Fil out.

She's sort of fading into the background.

I'm so sorry.

Dakota Schiffer.

Hello, girl.

You are blonde. You are
beautiful.

And you have legs almost as long
as you make conversations feel.

[laughter]

Oh, my God!

Absolutely qualified to say that about me,

'cause I do talk for England.

Pixie Polite.

You know, last week, you spoke
about being a runner-up

for the improv challenge.

But what you'll always have is
the best tits in drag.

Next to Danny Beard out of drag.

Black Peppa, I'd ask if your
barbecue is canceled,

but with that grill, no one's coming.

Cheddar Gorgeous.

Of, if we're naming her after
her age and her smell,

Aged Blue Stilton Gorgeous.

Next!

Hands up. Say hey, baby.

And wear some clothes next time
on the runway.

All: Ooh!

Danny Beard.

You know, I know you love
Marmite, but stop using it

as your foundation color.

Cheddar Gorgeous.

Much like the famous Cheddar Gorge,

you, too, have a face that is rough,

and many men have climbed up on it.

Rough-textured? I'm smooth.

I'm like a very sexy dolphin.

[imitates dolphin wail]

Le Fil.

Your long, luscious hair, I think
it's become a trademark of yours.

I just really wonder how you get
it to come out

of your nostrils like that.

How rude!

J Blonde, you are so old, your
first gig was chasing

the snakes out of Ireland.

That's a good one.

Good on you, Pixie, you little bitch.

Baby.

Hmm.

I'm pro-choice.

[laughter]

Oh!

My lovely Julian.

I mean, sorry, Jonathan.

I mean, no, Jon.

Jonbers Blonde... no, Mr.
Smithers in a dress.

Baby Baby. She's always loose.

And ready for anything.

Except for a high-waisted leotard.

Do you fancy a razor for your pubes?

[laughter]

On the runway, they were trimmed, okay?

I didn't know we were gonna be
naked that day.

I'm trying. I'm human.

Well done, Le Fil.

Dakota, my little baby girl.

Now, it's nice that "Drag Race"
has embraced trans icons.

And now it's nice that people can see

a bit of trans mediocrity.

If two badges is trans mediocrity,

I'm proud to be serving it.

Pixie Polite.

You are famous for shagging Tia
Kofi from the telly.

What a shame that charisma isn't
sexually transmittable.

Okay, here we go.

Cheddar Gorgeous.

Cheddar is so old, she was the
first drag queen

to throw a brick at Stone...

Henge.

Thank you, early Elton John.

Pleasure, dahling.

Danny Beard.

Did you know that Danny Beard is
an anagram

for shut the fuck up?

Well done!
- Well done, J Blonde.

Well, the library is
officially closed... officially.

And the winner of today's mini
challenge is...

Pixie Polite.

Yay.

Thank you. Thank you.

[singing] Thrilled!

I think I've completely
slaughtered them all, to be honest.

So, ladyquins, live theater

can make or break a performer's charisma,

uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

So for this week's maxi challenge,

you'll be starring in the
unauthorized she-quel

to a beloved family classic,

"Lairy Poppins: The Rusical."

[cheers and applause]

It's the twisted tale of Mary's
evil twin, Lairy Poppins,

a nanny who is practically
imperfect in every way.

And to help you feel your West
End windy fantasy,

you'll be singing live.

Oh, no!

Yes.

Yeah!

Oh, no! I have to sing live!

I can't even speak, let alone
sing. Help me!

Now, Pixie, as the winner of
today's mini challenge,

you get to assign all the roles.

Ooh!

Now, later today, you'll have
vocal coaching

with Michelle "The Voice" Visage.

All: Yes!

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

[cheers and applause]

I love singing live.

I love the risk.

I love the danger.

And I love not knowing what's gonna happen

when I open my mouth. [Coughs]

All right, ladies.

We have the season four Rusical.

All: Yes!

Oh, my goodness.

Are you next excited, Dakota?

I hate musicals.

- What?
- Get out.

And I've never watched "Mary
Poppins."

- Give me your drag card.
- No!

Cheddar: You're a drag queen!

How can you not like musicals?

That's like not liking kittens
or something.

Shall we all have a listen and
see what we think?

I have the power to assign the
roles this week,

and it offers me a very unique opportunity

because I could

be a shady little bitch and, you know,

pop these girls in roles that
they don't want.

- Yes!
- It's camp.

This is naughty.

Pixie: But I'm gonna see how
this plays out,

see what people want, and see how I feel.

Okay, characters.

OG Mary.

She is original, family-friendly nanny

with a cut-glass British accent.

Le Fil: I would love to tackle
OG Mary,

'cause she's too prim and
perfect but needs to loosen up,

and I feel like that's quite fitting.

I want a leading role that I can show Ru

all the different things that I've
learned from last week's comments.

Fil, you are OG Mary.

Okay, Lick Van Dick.

Oh, look, it's everyone's favorite
cockney bin lady, Lick Van Dick.

A Jack of all trades and proper
salt of the earth.

I can play Lick Van Dick.

I think Danny would be really
good at that.

I would consider myself more
of a Jane McDonald

than a Julie Andrews.

And that is purely because I,
too, love cruising.

The Bird Lady.

This old bird is quite literally
an old bird.

At this point in the competition,
I need to make myself known.

I need to lay my eggs in this basket.

I need this role.

I would like the Bird Lady.

It's about what's best for the thing.

It's not just about putting
people's hands up

and saying, "I want this role,"
you know what I mean?

It's about what's gonna make
this the fucking most iconic Rusical.

Pixie: Jonbers wants to stand
out.

And, do you know what,

I'm gonna trust her that she can do it.

Jonbers is the Bird Lady.

Caw-caw!

Mutha Prude.

She's rich, powerful, and stressed AF.

I really think Mutha Prude's,
like, right up my street.

I feel like I'd nail that.

Okay, okay.

Coming straight into a Rusical
is the perfect cure

for these baby blues that I've got, girl.

It is lifting me up, and I'm going,
"I can do this. This is perfect."

The Prude Twins.

They're sugar, spice, and everything
nice, the apple of their mother's eye.

I do think the kids, for me, personally,

would be quite an obvious choice.

And I don't want the kids.
- Okay.

Dakota: I don't want the kids.

If I'm going to do well in this challenge,

I need to throw myself at something.

Okay.
- And I'm... I want Rochelle La Roach.

Rochelle La Roach.

Rochelle is the head waitress at Binland.

She's French, but she's also a cockroach.

I love Rochelle.

And I do often look a bit like an insect.

I'm really into the cockroach.

They can survive in the vacuum of space.

It is just gonna be Cher and
some cockroaches

at the end of the world.

We know that.

Can we hear everyone's French accent

who wants to do Rochelle?

Dakota, speak up. Let's do the
French.

[in French accent] Rochelle is
the head waitress at Binland.

It is only accessible to those
in the know.

[speaking normally] No?

Has Dakota ever been to France?

[in French accent] Rochelle is
the head waitress at Binland,

a magical but trashy hot spot
that literally comes alive at night

and is only accessible to those
in the know.

She's just general European.
- Yes!

I'm a generic European. Baby:
Yes, bitch!

I think it's quite clear who
Rochelle can be right now.

Yeah.
- Cheddar, you're gonna be Rochelle.

[in French accent] Oh!

Big C, with this Rochelle,
you're really spoiling us.

Hon-hon-hon-hon-hon!

Okay, the twins.

Peppa and Dakota.

Is that okay? Is everyone happy?

I'm sorry if you're not.

Dakota, you do not look happy with it.

If you did really want
Rochelle, like, you could have it.

No, I'm... your French accent
blew me out the water.

- Yeah, it did.
- So.

I don't know.

I feel like doing the twins is a
death sentence for me.

So, what would you be confident with?

What do you need right now?

I don't know.

There's no role that I feel massively
optimistic about, to be honest.

When we listened to it, I was like, okay,

I'm probably gonna be the twins.

But that's why I was like, oh,
people are gonna

expect me to be the twins, and
that's fine.

If you can do the twins well, then...?

But you do want to do... do you
want to do the twins?

Okay. I'll do the twins.

I am not feeling
supercalifragilisticexp...

Whatever it is, I'm not feeling
it. [Laughs]

Pixie, does that make you Lairy Poppins?

Yeah, I'll do... yeah, I'll do Lairy.
- You're gonna be Lairy? That's camp.

Got a bit flustered picking the roles.

Let's smash this Rusical, girls!
All: Yes!

But acting, singing, and
dancing all at the same time,

piece of cake.

And I love a piece of cake.

[upbeat music]

[speaking French]

Oh, hello, there, Cheddar.
- Is Cheddar having a meltdown?

You're just in time for dinner.

Je m'appelle Rochelle La Roach.

She's definitely Divina de
Campo-ing, isn't she?

[laughter]

Well, the twins are a small singing role.

But they are on the stage for
the whole thing.

Yeah. Exactly.
- So, I'm not gonna be that girl

that's upset she didn't get the
part she wanted, 'cause honestly,

I was trying to bid for the bigger parts,

but I knew if I got them that I
probably would have been

stressed about that as well.
- Yeah.

When am I not stressed?

Because we're working together
and we're twins,

I am really depending on her to
not be in a bad head space,

because if she is in a bad head space,

that's gonna affect me.

I know it's not the role you
probably wanted.

Yeah. Yeah.

But let's go into this with a
fresh mind and just,

like, slay it.

I'm trying to get out my head
and, you know, get over...

Get out of that head, girl.

You'll be fine. Dakota:
Absolutely. Absolutely.

Come on, Dakota, girl. Let's
do it.

[upbeat music]

I'm sat there listening to the track

that I'm going to be doing.

And then I realize, Lairy Poppins
is not the part I thought it was.

And I'm worried.

I feel like I might have shot
myself in the foot a bit

by choosing this part.

Because I was just far too concerned
with making everyone else happy.

I didn't look through the parts
well enough.

This is Pixie to a T, innit?

She's so concerned about making
sure the show is right

and everyone fits their own role,

she's forgot to fucking sort herself out.

Would you be happier if we swapped?

You don't want to do yours.

They're both similar, but
would you be happier

with, like...?

Pixie doesn't want to do her role.

I look over Lairy, and I think,
you know what,

I'll give it a whack.

I think that...

What would you be happiest doing?

I think I'd prefer to swap.

'Cause I can do either of them, honest.

I think I'd like to swap.

The Lick Van Dick part is very me.

So we're gonna swap parts, and
we're gonna smash this Rusical.

Thank you.

No need to thank me.

Hello. All: Hi!

Now it's time for our vocal
coaching session

with the gorgeous Michelle Visage.

Hey, Marys.

All: Hi!

Say hello to me old china, Dane Chalfin.

All: Hi!

Dane: Hi, queens.

Michelle: We're gonna start with
Dakota and Black Peppa.

I need all the help I can get right now.

Yes, okay, I cannot sing.

Don't book me to sing.

Here we go.

[singing] Expensive but it's a la carte.

Served up by this roachy tart

[singing] We should rob the
bank to pay for lunch.

All right.

Just remember, Lairy has just
taken you out

and filled you full of sugar.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

So lean into that.

Dakota, don't worry about
being beautiful just for two seconds.

[laughing] Oh, my God.

This is your moment to be
like, "Ahh!"

Dakota: I think my fear of
looking silly

is making me feel apprehensive
about this musical.

I've got to get through this.

Michelle: Baby.

I'm playing Mutha Prude.

Let's just try running it.

Okay.

Hit it.

[singing] I'm filthy rich.

But I want more cash.

Cash.

[singing] I refuse to live
like the lower class.

Cut.

I think the thing about this
track in particular is,

you know what you're channeling.

- You're doing Britney.
- Yes.

If you just put a little creak in there...

[both imitating vocal creak]

[singing] Attend a yoga class.

Uh-huh. Baby: Yeah?

When you start there, you have
a place to build.

Cool. Michelle: Danny Beard.

Hi, honey bun.

You're Lairy.

You are made for this role.

Hit it.

[whimsical music]

Eat it!

[laughter]

I've barely had two seconds with
this new character.

I don't know me ass from me elbow.

[singing] Give into destruction
and let me be blunt.

Your tragic lives you...

Just a big gobful...

It's a fucking disaster.

You need to Danny Beard the
fuck out of this song.

Yeah, I will.
- Just be that character.

I see myself as a horny French
cockroach waitress.

And I don't mind partying with
a cockroach.

Both: [singing] Salmonella's
here in this rotten produce.

Here in this rotten produce.

- Pixie.
- Yes.

Get in your confidence.
- Yeah.

Listen to me when I tell you,

you can do this, and you have
what it takes.

- You're there.
- Okay.

Both: [singing] Drink bin juice,
please.

Drink - Bin juice

[singing] Drink bin juice, please.

Drink bin juice.

Drink bin... oh.

Drink bin juice, please.

Drink bin juice.

Drink bin juice, please.

Drink bin juice.

Drink bin juice.

Oh.

Michelle: It's okay.

Pixie: I'm stood there in front
of Michelle,

and suddenly I think that I've
never sung a day in my life.

Pixie, listen to me right now.

You don't need to freak out.

I know.

Michelle: You're gonna get it.

Sometimes it just takes a little bit.

We all know I can do this, so
I just need to do it.

You are gonna be the Bird Lady.

So I say, to start, we hear what
you can do actually vocally.

[singing] Peck me.

Stuff me.

Just do as you like.

Caw-caw! Caw-caw!

Cut.

So there was not a semblance of
a pitch in that.

Right.

Jonbers wants to stand out.

I get it.

But this is a role with a big vocal.

I think if she can do a parrot...

Shadap!

She might be all right.

If I were you, I would Dita
Von Teese this.

Okay.

[singing] Pluck me, pluck me

I swear I won't bite [laughter]

Ooh...

all: Yeah!

Today, I'm not the shit test.

Thank you.

Okay, Le Fil.

I'm playing the... [in cockney
accent] OG Mary.

This is the big final number.

Want to try it? All: Yes.

Michelle: All right.
- Let's do it.

[singing] Todger, titty,
knockers, willy, bum... oh!

Um.

It's almost like the song is a journey

where you're realizing that you're...

"Oh! Ooh!"

You're having so much fun.
- Yeah.

I think I've got a lot to do,
and I'm just gonna

try and hit every todger.

All: [singing] Bum bum bum bum
bum.

Bum bum bum bum bum.

Now we all are friends again.

And Mummy's not so cranky.

Okay.

Baby, your timing was a little bit out.

I'm seeing how strong everyone's getting.

I'm thinking, if everyone else around me

is doing really strong,

does that mean that I'm the weak one?

All of us here need personality
even more than vocals.

Just when you think it's too
big, trust me, it isn't.

And now I'm worried that my dance ability

and my performance chops aren't enough

to carry me through this.

Okay, so with your vocals
down, it's time for choreography.

Please welcome my one-time dance partner,

the reigning "Strictly"
champion, Giovanni Pernice.

[cheers and applause]

Hello, queens. Michelle.

Gio!

Ah, I don't miss you. [Both
laugh]

Ooh, delicious. He's tasty.

Byeee!

All: Byeee!

This is so exciting that Gio's here.

He can put together a good routine.

We're in very safe, Italian hands here.

Right, so the first part of this routine

- is gonna be a box step.
- Yeah.

So we're gonna go one, two, three, four.

From there, we go two steps forward,

and we go right, left, right, left.

- Okay?
- Which foot crosses?

- This...
- Right leg.

- One, two.
- Left.

- Oh, my God.
- I'll show again.

I'm just so in my head that
I'm missing the steps.

Side, close, forward, close.

I'm so... all right. Okay.

- It's okay.
- Yeah.

Honestly, I just want to get off
that stage as quickly as possible

then hide in a corner.

One. Two.

- Step out.
- Out.

- Right, like that.
- Three. Together.

Yeah.

Black Peppa: Dakota is not happy
right now, and I'm like,

I know you hate musicals, but I
hated the design challenge.

Did I let my partner suffer because of it?

No, I didn't.

Really, really focus on the
cut of it, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Just pull yourself together, girl.

So on this section, we got the kids.

We got Lairy.

Okay, we go right, left, right, left.

Love, can you just look at these feet?
- Pardon?

'Cause they're going separate to the body.

Are you from Liverpool?
- Yeah.

- I love the accent.
- Do ya?

- Yeah. I do.
- I love yours.

I think Giovanni's worried about me.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Have I gone the wrong way?
- Yes, you have. Show you again.

Because I think he's looking
at me thinking,

Danny: "Is the 'Strictly' curse
becoming a 'Drag Race' curse?"

What are you struggling with?

I hate dancing.

I move like a sack of shit.

No, you don't. You look good.

Thank you. Giovanni: Try
again.

[laughter]

Danny: He's looking at me like
he wants me.

I didn't know he was a chubby
chaser, but listen, if he is,

I'll run.

And then the next part will be
the same step, but faster.

I used to like you from the
telly, you know, love.

[laughter]

Giovanni: Lick Van Dick and
Rochelle,

you will have a fantastic entrance.

It has been said before.

Having to move to a song with expectations

of putting your body in the correct place,

it's not my thing.

One, two, three, and four.

Five, six, link.

- Link with him.
- Sorry.

I was just making through... sure
I get through all of the bits.

One, two, three, and four. No.

Forward, side, forward, up, down.

- Yeah?
- Not a clue.

From the way Cheddar is moving,

she's been drinking bin juice all evening.

That's complicated.

The Bird Lady... in the mind,
she's hot, she's beautiful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But realistically, she's not.

Great. That's exactly who I
am.

No.

I want you to show me what you
would do personally.

Okay.

[singing] In the night as I
count up my crusts.

Be more desperate.

[singing] Every night.

Show me why you're sexy.

Better.

Jonbers: I am just channeling
that despair,

that desperation for a badge.

Somebody give me a badge!

It's week five. Come on!

OG Mary, it's your time to shine.

Amazing.

Okay, so, as much as you can.

I want to see what you can do as well.
- Okay, cool.

I want you to be over the top.

Cool.

If I wanted a challenge, I think
I definitely got that this week.

[vocalizing]

- Yeah.
- Okay.

I have to be able to sort of
figure out different ways

to be able to bring this
character to life.

[vocalizing]

Yes. Lovely. You get it.

So not gonna lie, I'm a bit stressed,

'cause I don't want to be in
that bottom three again.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I think you all will be all right.

I believe in you. Confidence.

So confident, yeah.

- You ready?
- I'm ready, yeah. I feel great.

So now, you go and practice.

- Yes?
- Mm-hmm.

Good luck. All: Thank you.

Bye, ladies. All: Bye.

I am excited for tomorrow.
Bring it on!

I'm never watching "Strictly" ever again.

I love you, too.
- Love you, babe.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!

It's elimination day, but
before all of that...

Pow! Wah!

We have to make our debut

in "Lairy Poppins: The
Unauthorized Rusical."

I've forgotten what birds look like.

To be honest, your contour's
quite angular anyway.

I didn't buy my cheekbones.

"I didn't buy mine. These are
what I was born with."

You're a fucking liar.

[laughter]

Do you guys have any, like,
pre-show rituals?

The entire makeup process
itself is kind of, like,

- a bit of a ritual for me.
- Yes.

I always just have it silent
when I'm getting ready.

Apart from when you have to get
ready at the back of a bus or something.

Oh, girl, I hate it.

Whenever they say, "Just
follow me to your dressing room,"

and then I see the seat of a toilet.

- Girl, please.
- Nah.

The amount of times that's
happened to me, like, distress.

Most of the times when I get ready,

it's always in, like, a room by myself.

It's actually really nice sort
of hanging out

with you all doing it, 'cause
it's very rare, actually.

Also, there's more people to
borrow stuff from.

There you go.

Well, this bird is ready to
squawk and perform.

Caw-caw!

All: Caw-caw!

Getting this role meant so much to me.

I'm ready to show them what I'm made of.

[dramatic music]

Black Peppa: To win that badge,
I just have to make sure

that I am literally having my A game.

I have to sing live. I have to
dance live.

And I have to make sure these
bitches here don't upstage me.

Dakota: I do not have any experience
doing anything like this before.

I just want to do well.

This is serious.

This is the Rusical.

Caw-caw!

[upbeat music]

RuPaul: [singing] Cover girl!

Put the bass in your walk.

Head to toe, let your whole body talk

[applause]

And what?

Welcome to the main stage of
"RuPaul's Drag Race UK."

My fair lady, Michelle Visage.

Fair? Always.

A lady? Eh...

[laughter]

The super spexy Alan Carr.

Alan, don't you love an opening night?

Oh, I'll take an opening
whenever I can find one,

do you know what I'm saying, Ru?

Do you know what I'm saying?

I've heard.

Goddess of stage and screen
Hannah Waddingham.

Hello.

Goddess Ru!

Welcome to the show.

I am so excited to be here.

It's honestly a dream to see a Rusical.

Aw, well, just a reminder,
tickets are nonrefundable.

[laughter]

This week, we challenged our queens

to bring the story of Lairy
Poppins to life

in an all-singing, all-dancing Rusical.

And tonight on the runway,
category is West End Wonders.

Racers, start your engines.

And may the best drag queen win.

"RuPaul's Drag Race UK" proudly
presents the world premier of.

"Lairy Poppins: The Unauthorized
Rusical: Live."

[jaunty music]

[singing] Up on the rooftops,
I've a story for you.

You folks here ain't heard it,
'cause this one is new

all: [singing] Lairy is lurking,
Mary ain't got a clue.

Old Lairy Poppins, he's coming for you

[screams]

[spooky laughter]

He's got ya now, Mary

all: What a to-do.

Mummy, we've been studying for
the last 18 hours.

Well, practice makes perfect, Michaela.

Now, where the hell is your nanny Mary?

Mummy, why can't we just have
a little fun?

You know, like normal children?

Silence!

Fun does not pay the bills.

[upbeat music]

[singing] Attend a yoga class.

Fancy a hot ass.

Premiere travel, first-class.

It's gonna cost, kids.

Organic quinoa.

The finest caviar.

Maybe foie gras.

It don't come free, kids

I'm filthy rich.

But I want more cash

I refuse to live like the lower class.

They tried to tax my second
house in France.

Life's a bitch for the upper class

both: It's a bitch, it's a
bitch, it's a bitch.

It's gonna cost, kids.

Mummy's stressed, kids.

Get out of my face, kids.

Where's your nanny, kids?

It's all my fault.

Your father ran off with his
cheap secretary.

But here we are.

Now I'm stuck slumming it.

We're actually having to work at
that stupid place!

Singer: It don't come free, kids.

Toodle pips, sweetie darlings.

Mummy's such a fun sponge.

I wish we could have just one
night of freedom.

[ominous music]

Look! A kite!

What does it say?

Both: Lairy Poppins.

Lairy Poppins.

Lairy Poppins!

[thunder crashes]

You called?

[cackling]

Hello, you little prudes.

There's a new nanny in town.

Mary's a little tied up at the moment.

And I'm here to show you a real bad time.

Both: Jeepers creepers!

[jaunty music]

[singing] Just a big old gob full
of chaos is what you kids need.

Eat it!

[singing] Sugary candy.

Gums will recede.

Give in to temptation and let me be blunt.

Ditch your tragic lives, you runts

both: Oh, golly gosh!

Nanny Mary never let us eat refined sugar!

Shut up!

Get your gob around that, kids!

And eat it! Eat it!

I said eat it!

[upbeat music]

Both: Wow!

We feel alive!

Well, the night's only just
getting started.

Plip plop. [Spits]

Come on. The night's young.

[jaunty music]

Coo-ee.

What is that?

That?

That's the old Bird Woman.

She been selling her wares on
this street corner for years.

Caw-Caw! Coo! [Coughing]

[quirky music]

[singing] Late in the night, as
I count up my crusts.

Just another shift without no rest.

A painted-on beak as I puff out
my chest [coos]

Just a tuppence to visit my nest.

Shake my tail feathers morning and night.

Pluck me.

Pluck me!

I swear I won't bite.

This old flapper is yours to excite.

Peck me.

Stuff me.

Just do what you like.

A-ha! Kissy, kissy.

Coo coo!

Go on, shoo, you old bird!

[squawking]
- Shoo! Shoo!

[belches]

'Ello, guvnah!

My name's Lick Van Dick,

the best bin lady in all of London.

Fancy joining me on a trip to
somewhere proper today?

Both: Yes!

All right, kids.

You hold on to Dick.

Are you ready?

One, two, three!

[groaning]

[whimsical music]

Welcome to Binland, London's
grimiest hot spot.

Bonjour.

You're just in time for dinner.

Je m'appelle Rochelle Le
Cockroach. [Purrs]

[singing] Drink bin
juice, drink bin juice.

Your tongues will be seduced.

Old fish bones, banana skins.

Trash dripping down your chins.

Slime galore.

J'adore.

Swallow down, I'll give you more.

Yummy bacteria multiplying.

Here's E.coli, satisfying

both: Wow!

Both: [singing] Gobble up.

Shove it down.

Guzzle bin juice, you'll never drown.

Salmonella's here in this rotten produce.

Gorge on this steaming garbage.

Sauce la dump's your garnish.

Drink bin juice, please.

Drink bin juice.

Drink bin juice.

Drink bin juice.

Drink bin juice!

This bin juice is lit AF!

I'm feeling... [gulps]

Wavy.

And now, the bill.

Voila. [Slide whistle, clang]

Well, I ain't got any money.
[belches]

Kids, any ideas?

I know where we can get some money.

Both: Our mummy!

[jaunty music]

[singing] Expensive, but it's a la carte.

Served up by this roachy tarte

both: We should rob the bank to
pay for luncheon.

They've got all the money there.

We'll steal the lot 'cause we don't care.

Time to rob the bank.

Here we go, so wish us luck.

'Cause we don't give a flying...

Children!

[grunting]

You should be ashamed of yourselves!

And as for you, Lairy Poppins.

[belches, cans clang]

The time has come for you to sashay away.

And that means "walk away" in
the future. [Chuckles]

This is a family Rusical.

[exciting music]

[singing] I'm just ubermad

I hate the way this franchise
lost its focus.

The cast is full of morons.

Unsightly and ferocious.

Starring in this Rusical is
giving me psychosis.

It's shocking just how bad it is.

The plotline is atrocious!

[coos] Chill out, nanny Mary!

How do you expect me to be calm

with all these filthy potty mouths?

Oh, mon cheri, surely it is good to be

a little dirty sometimes, no?
[giggles]

Well, I guess I could try.

[quirky music]

[singing] Todger, titty.

Knockers, willy.

Bumhole, spunky booby.

Hanky panky, any hole's a goal.

Stiffy wiffy, hairy badger.

Boy, I'm on a roll.

Up your bum, no babies, like a
stripper on a pole

all: Yum yum, willy, yum yum.

Yum yum, willy, ay.

Bum bum, willy, bum bum.

Bum bum, willy, ay.

Bum bum bum bum bum.

Bum bum bum bum bum.

Now we all are friends again.

Mummy's no longer cranky.

Instead of playing by the rules.

It pays to be quite janky all:
Bum bum bum bum bum.

Bum bum bum bum bum bum.

The moral of the story is, let's
put it very frankly.

And take this umbrella and
shove it up your ass!

[dramatic music]

[laughter and applause]

Bravo!

"Lairy Poppins: The Rusical"
is now available

on all major platforms worldwide.

[singing] Can you feel the love?

Category is West End Wonders.

Up first, Pixie Polite.

Alan: "Hairspray," hair slay.

"Hairspray" is a musical that
has always really spoken to me.

The character of Tracy Turnblad,
I've always found really inspirational.

Hannah: Oh! Michelle: Ooh!

Alan: Oh!

Pixie: For her self-belief, her
body positivity,

her fight for what is right.

What a tease.

I'm giving you full camp on the runway,

doing my little cheesy dance moves,

and just feeling glorious.

Shake the booty.

She's such an aerosol.

RuPaul: Up next, J Blonde.

That's right, bitch. Make it
rain.

Jonbers: I'm paying homage to
one of my favorite musicals

of all time, "Singing in the
Rain."

Don't pee on my leg and tell
me it's raining.

This is my Dior couture fantasy.

I'm ready to play some
water sports in this look.

I'm definitely experiencing a damp patch.

[laughter]

RuPaul: Black Peppa.

Hakuna matata? I hardly know
her.

Black Peppa: Now, I love "Lion
King," and I'm gonna do it justice.

I want, when you look at me, you think,

"Jesus, you just came straight
out of the West End."

Nala Nala bill, y'all.

I am embodying a lion, and I am wearing

the skin of my enemies.

I am wearing Jonbers.

I am wearing Dakota.

I am wearing Danny.

I'm devouring them all.

Alan: I can see her watering
hole.

RuPaul: Dakota Schiffer.

Michelle: "Funny Girl"? I don't
think so.

Pretty girl? Yes.

Hannah: So beautiful.

Dakota: I'm giving you an interpretation
of Barbara Streisand in "Funny Girl."

See, I don't hate all musicals.
[laughs]

She's got nothing to be guilty of.

This hair is one of my favorites.

It's very classic Dakota '60s glamor.

Nobody's gonna rain on her parade.

RuPaul: Cheddar Gorgeous.

Cheddar: "Hedwig and the Angry
Inch" is my favorite musical.

It is the reason I do drag.

Michelle, how's your Hedwig?

Michelle: I've had many
complaints.

[laughter]

I am wearing a torn denim jumpsuit

featuring beautiful handmade
patches, red rhinestones,

and I also have an amazing set
of Isis wings,

upon which is written the quote
from the film,

"Deny me and be doomed."

RuPaul: Angry Inch?

I'd settle for a disgruntled centimeter.

Next, Le Fil.

Shall we drag?

I love "The King and I,"
because it is about

the marriage of two cultures and
how one can learn from each other.

It's got a special place in my heart.

RuPaul: Et cetera, et cetera, et
cetera.

Le Fil: I'm serving you a femme
king.

I've got my decadent jewels all
over my face.

This look is luxury, it's regal,
and it's divine.

[upbeat music]

Ooh.

I could have minced all night.

RuPaul: Up next, Baby.

Baby: I am giving "& Juliet."

This is the first time a Black woman

has played the role of Juliet in
a West End stage,

and I want to pay homage to that
in the most beautiful way that I can.

She don't need no Romeo.

I have my amazing frohawk.

I have this patchwork denim sleeves.

I am giving West End realness.

Oh, no you Capulet-a don't.

RuPaul: Up next, oh, Danny
Beard.

Danny: I am paying homage to
"The Little Shop of Horrors."

And honey, you ain't never seen
drag this camp.

This is even camp for me.

Hannah: Uh-oh, she soiled
herself.

Danny: The headpiece is also a
puppet.

Everybody loves puppets.

[as Audrey II] Hello.

Danny: I am one hungry plant.

Feed me some fertilizer, bitch.

Alan: I think he's on pot.

Hannah: Oh, man.

[dramatic music]

Welcome, ladies.

When I call your name, please
step forward.

Black Peppa.

[upbeat music]

Cheddar Gorgeous.

Ladies, you are both safe.

You may leave the stage.

Ladies, you represent the tops
and the bottoms of the week.

Now, it's time for the judges' critiques.

First up, Pixie Polite.

The difficult thing about
judging you all tonight

is that truly, nobody was
supercalifragilisticexpial-atroc ious.

Thank you.

Oh, dear.

Pixie, I was worried about you the most,

because in rehearsals, you were
spiraling down a well

with nobody to rescue you.

And I think you ended up kicking ass.

I can't believe you had a
crisis of confidence.

I thought you were so amazing up there.

I loved your Dick.

It was the right length.

I wanted more of it.

I was gagging for it.

- Loved it.
- Thank you, Alan.

You are utterly delicious.

And it is also not an easy thing
to go first

and set the tone, and you did.

Tonight, on the runway... you
know, Tracy Turnblad is iconic,

and you had the whole attitude.

That's what we need when we
think of Tracy.

And you brought it tonight.

Thank you so much.

- You can't go back.
- No.

You gotta stop with that bullshit.

This is not the place for it.
- No.

Thank you, Pixie.

Thank you.

Up next... [in French accent]
Jonbers Blonde.

Hiya, love.

What a challenge to be
half-woman, half-bird,

and make it funny and realistic,

and then halfway through it, yell,
"Go pluck yourself," and you did.

It was great.

I just think you are absolutely

devastatingly watchable.

And I'm totally stealing
"Coo-ee!"

I loved it!

I was like, "Remember that one."

This look, I know you're going
for avant-garde,

but I think I have an issue with
one flat cage,

one poofy cage, so it looks to
me like it was made incorrectly.

But all in all, very strong night for you.

Your makeup looks gorgeous tonight.

You don't have the biggest lips
in the world.

And you've shifted the focus in
your makeup,

and your lips look bigger.

You look gorgeous.

Thank you so much.

And Hannah, I'll have 20% of
that "coo-ee!" thank you.

Up next, Dakota Schiffer.

Hi, Dakota.

With your performance, I thought
there was a hesitancy there.

Didn't feel very present.

And I think you would have got
away with it,

but the trouble is, Black Peppa
was throwing everything,

including the kitchen sink, at it.

Tonight, this is so beautiful.

"Funny Girl." I love the hair.

I love the dress.

I love the idea.

You are beautiful.

Thank you.

You are, for me, far less "Funny Girl"

and more ridiculously be-yow-tiful girl.

Thank you.

I thought you were wonderful.

It just wasn't as good as the others.

But you have a great future in
music theater.

Have you done music theater?

I actually hate musicals.

[RuPaul gasps dramatically] So,
like, it was quite kind of...

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry to every... every theater
gay watching at home.

I apologize.

Thank you.

Up next, Le Fil.

Dance, sing, and do that
staccato machine-gun delivery

of all those naughty words, and
not miss a word or fluff.

I think that you did pretty well.

I don't think you could have
taken it as far

as you could have taken it.

In theater, you literally have
to lay it all on the line.

This, I love "The King and I."

It's just beautiful.

Alan: The intricacy and the
detailing just marvelous.

Can I have look more at...?
- Of course. Anytime.

Look at that. It's insane.

Yeah, it's just wonderful.

Just utterly charming.

Thank you.

In the Rusical, you were fantastic,

but we're splitting hairs here.

I wanted your own personal stamp on it.

- Up next, Baby.
- Hey.

First, let's talk about your performance.

Do you know what, you still
looked a little bit nervous.

I do want to say you had
incredible energy.

I loved... I felt it.

The pacing in the song was fantastic.

I love watching you onstage.

But I was starting to lose you,
and I don't want to lose you onstage.

Thank you.

This... I love "& Juliet."

It's such an incredible musical.

And this is, like, your version.

But I want to take a moment to
say that makeup is gorgeous.

- Thank you.
- Keep doing it.

Thank you.

Hi, Baby.

Hi.

I want you to feel really good
about yourself.

'Cause I feel like you don't
feel it at the moment.

[voice breaking] I've just
been struggling a lot.

Oh, love.

Like, mentally being here.

But I have, like, anxiety, and
I've kind of just been, like,

really trying to dig myself out
of that really badly.

But I'm just, I'm having a bit
of a tough time.

I know that I'm capable of doing
this, and it's just,

it's so annoying.

You are. You are. You're
excellent.

You clearly have what it takes.

I've been in this seat for many,
many years,

and I've seen a lot of girls
express the exact same emotion.

It's not easy.

I've found, over the years, that I've
had to make friends with my saboteur.

It comes rearing its ugly head,
and I have to say,

"Hey, girl, what's up?

Oh, you're here again."

And said, "Okay, I hear you, but
I'm gonna do this over here."

Yeah.

Because it doesn't go away.

That make sense?
- Yeah, it does.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Up next... [singing] Oh, Danny
Beard.

Hi.

What can I say about your performance

during "Lairy Poppins"?

You wanted a spoonful of sugar.

It was so OTT.

You gave us a bucket full of ham.

[laughter]

I kind of told you to just go
full Danny Beard on them,

and you did.

And it worked.

Just couldn't stop watching you.

And then of course, you know,
West End Wonders,

you choose Audrey II.

So perfectly suited for you.

That's another level, that costume.

Really strong night for you, Danny.

You are an utter, utter, out-and-out pro.

And you alone have been worth my visit.

Wow. High praise.

Thank you so much. RuPaul: You
had that thing.

'Cause yes, there was what was
written on the script,

but you brought something else
to it that was so magical,

that... it's what stars do.

Thank you. Honestly, all of
you. Thank you.

All right, thank you, ladies.

I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck in the Werk Room,

the judges and I will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

[dramatic music]

I'm really glad to be safe.

But, you know, I feel like I
worked hard this week,

and so it's frustrating to think
that that wasn't enough.

For me, who is a dancer, dancing
and singing at the same time,

I just found that so challenging.

Same.

I'm just happy I'm not in the bottom.

Ooh!

Dear God.

Can you fit through this door,
you silly cow?

Can you fit through the door,
you silly cow?

We are back and untucked.

And you know what, I'm over the moon.

But this is gonna be a close one.

So how did it go?

Everyone seems really somber at
the moment.

They were really complimentary
of everyone.

It's just hard when it feels
like I gave everything

and it still wasn't enough.
Cheddar: But they did...

What did they say?

They said that it would come down

to, like, the tiniest things.

And I appreciate that, and it's
nice, but it still means two people

are gonna be in the bottom two,
and I got the worst critiques.

It was so out of my comfort zone.

You know, you can be proud of
yourself for accomplishing something,

and when that's still not
enough, that is a hard reality

to try and digest.

They also said that you were
gonna have a musical career,

that you were gonna be in theater.

I don't want to be, but thank you.

I still, I hate this challenge.

I hate musicals. I hate it.

I just don't like it.

Do you know what, I'm beginning to
think that Dakota doesn't like musicals.

Girl, that was emotional out
there. What's going on?

Mentally, I'm going through it.

It fucking sucks, because I know
how talented I am,

and it's so frustrating to me
that I can't hack this.

Coming into this competition, I
was always worried

that I would get in my own way.

I really had to fight to become
the person I am right now.

But that fight has left some scars, girl.

And right now, they're kind of
showing themselves.

I'm struggling so much.

And I know that if I was to be
put in that lip sync,

I'd fucking smash it, and I'd do
what the fuck I need to do.

But really, I am having a tough
fucking time,

and I'm just doing the best that
I can to pull my shit together.

Talk to us.

We want to help each other, and
we want to help you.

You're a fucking star.

Baby's been struggling.

And genuinely, we care about one another.

Competition is one thing.

But your sisterhood is another.

Fil, babe, how are you feeling?

I'm feeling really mixed about
the whole thing.

Like, I put loads of pressure on
myself from last week

to try and, like, be so much better,

to not be feeling in this
position, kind of, like,

possibly going home again.

It's a really weird feeling,
given the fact that

I did really well, but still might
possibly be in the bottom two.

Just goes to show how strong
this entire competition is.

I didn't have a negative critique.

I'm really pleased.

I was a bit stressed coming off
of last week.

And I do feel, now, really confident.

And, like, I could get to the end.

The last two weeks, I didn't
feel like my best

was good enough, but I need to
stop thinking like that.

I'm actually starting to believe
in myself for the first time.

Danny, how do you feel?

[indistinct] It was great.

But I also... like, I know there's
people here that

don't feel as good, so I don't
want to sit here and be like,

"Rah rah rah."

We also need to give you time to, like,

explain that this is probably
one of the most iconic things

that's walked this runway.
- Honestly.

Eight and a half feet of pure
plant daddy realness going on.

Jonbers, how are you feeling?

It was nice to stand up there for once

and actually get nice critiques!

All: Yes!

Apart from RuPaul said I've got no lips.

I think everyone's surprised
that I could be in

for a chance for winning this week.

Stranger things have happened, kids.

Well done, everyone.

To Lairy Poppins!

All: To Lairy Poppins!

Take this cocktail and shove
it up your ass.

All right, now, just between
us squirrel friends,

I want to know what you think.

Let's start with Pixie Polite.

I thought she was amazing.

And let me tell you something,
that just goes to show you

that you don't need all the
lines in the world.

Immediately watchable.

She completely and utterly gives
herself to the roles.

A "Hairspray" runway look.

It was "Hairspray." No more, no
less.

Pixie was fantastic tonight.

I mean, from the moment she took
the stage,

she had embodied that character.

Remarkable.

All right, let's move on to
Jonbers Blonde.

She was a revelation.

From the cooing to the self-plucking.

She was brilliant.

And down here on all fours.

I mean, that was, like, a
serious bit of art in,

what was it, 45 seconds or something?

- Alan: Yeah, yeah.
- Just crazy.

And on the runway tonight, I
love the idea,

but there were things that were confusing.

Like, it doesn't have to be
symmetrical, but it needs to make sense.

Didn't really work, but I like
where she was going with it.

RuPaul: Now, let's move on to
Dakota Schiffer.

Was it the most dynamic of performances?

Perhaps not.

Her role was to be a bratty teenager,

and really, anyone can be a
bratty teenager.

Don't say it was a struggle,
because you've got Jonbers there,

half-woman, half-pigeon.

- Pigeon.
- So, come on.

There's stretching yourself, and
then there's stretching yourself.

With the runway, I mean, she
is just flawlessly exquisite.

She looked beautiful.

But Ru, we know at this point
Dakota always looks beautiful.

I'm a bit tired of the sweet.

I want a little bit of sour.

All right, let's move on to Le Fil.

I really can't say she didn't
do a good job.

But it was slow to build for me.

Technically amazing. Isn't it
weird?

There's just something that
doesn't get me in the heart.

And I feel bad thinking it, because...
- No, you know, I think...

He's obviously a hard worker
and, you know...

I think you're right. I think
you're absolutely right.

On the runway, my goodness,
how amazing was this?

What an absolutely exquisite moment.

Alan: And the way he glided
across the dance floor,

selling the outfit, absolutely stunning.

Knowing how to sell that outfit

was exactly what the character
needed in the Rusical.

All right, let's move on to Baby.

Baby has what it takes.

But Baby got put in the corner
tonight, and I didn't want that for her.

I would love Baby to do a big,
old high kick

layout split out of that corner,

because she doesn't need to box
herself into it.

Loved the runway look.

I loved the makeup.

I liked the fierceness.

She was striking.

You know, nobody puts Baby in
a corner except for Baby.

We've all been there.

Unfortunately, you can't let it stop you.

All right, Danny Beard.

Oh, Danny Beard, the twinks,
the twinks are calling.

[laughter]

You know, Danny was the title role,

and it was just magic what we saw tonight.

Danny, you're a fake, and a phony,

and I wish I'd never laid eyes on you.

Not this one. Not this Danny.

My gosh, what an absolute privilege

to watch this person perform.

Runway look was insane, mad,

everything you expect from Danny Beard.

Tonight was a home run for our
Danny Beard.

All right, silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

[dramatic music]

Jonbers.

You are safe.

Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you so much.

Pixie Polite.

You are safe.

Thank you very much.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Danny Beard.

I have three things to say.

Lairy Poppins, Lairy Poppins,
Lairy Poppins.

Condragulations, you are the
winner of this week's challenge.

[applause]
- Another one?

Yes, bitch!

And the recipient of a coveted
Rupita badge.

[dramatic choral music]

Wear it with pride.

You may join the other girls.

Cheers, babes.

[applause]

Oh, my lordy.

Have I just won a badge again?

Shit's getting real, girls.

Le Fil.

Baby.

Dakota Schiffer.

You all performed well this
week, but in the Rusical,

we were missing that certain
something extra.

[dramatic music]

Le Fil.

You are safe.

Thank you so, so, so much.

You may join the other girls.

That means Dakota, Baby,

I'm sorry, my dears, but you are
both up for elimination.

Dakota: I'm feeling obviously
intimidated,

because Baby's an incredible performer.

But I've come through too much
to go home now.

Two queens stand before me.

I've consulted with the judges,

but the final decision is mine to make.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

The time has come

for you to Lip Sync For Your Life.

Baby: This is what I've been doing
since the beginning of my career.

I know I have what it takes to
turn it out.

So I've decided what I need to do.

Good luck.

And don't fuck it up.

Renée Lamb: [singing]
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

There's no way.

You must agree that, baby.

In all the time I've been by your side

I've never lost control, no matter
how many times I knew you lied.

Have my golden rule.

Gotta keep my cool.

Yeah, baby.

You know she's gotta keep her cool

I've put up with your shh...

Like every single day.

But now it's time to shh...

And listen when I say.

You must think that I'm crazy.

You wanna replace me.

Baby, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

If you thought it'd be funny to
send me to a nunnery.

Honey, there's no way.

No way.

No way.

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

There's no way.

You got me down on my knees.

Please tell me what you think
I've done wrong.

Been humble, been loyal

I've tried to swallow my pride all along.

If you can just explain a single
thing I've done.

To cause you pain, I'll go.

No?

You've got nothing to say?

I'm not going away.

There's no way.

You must think that I'm crazy.

You wanna replace me?

Baby, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

You made me a wife.

So I'll be queen till the end of my life.

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

No way.

No way.

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-

No way.

There's no way

[cheers and applause]

Hannah: Yes!

Wow.

Yes!

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Can I say something?

I'm extremely grateful for being here.

But, um, I think I need to go
home and take care of myself.

I respect that.

I respect that.

Thank you.

I fucking love you, baby.

And I did eat you up in that lip
sync. I know. I know.

You're so...
- I love you. No, I love you so much.

Baby, I love you.

I love you too.

We all love you.

Take care of yourself, and
remember what I told you.

I will.

Thank you so much.

Now, sashay away.

[applause]

- Thank you.
- Love you, baby.

Love you guys.

We love you too.

But for the record, it would
have been over

for you hos if I stayed.

Just so you know, okay?
[laughter]

Love you. Thank you so much.

[upbeat music]

[applause]

I feel so relieved and so proud of myself.

I feel like everything I wanted
to show here, I have.

But it's time to go.

The sisterhood in the Werk Room
has been like nothing

I have ever experienced.

I know that these girls are my
friends for life.

Well, Dakota.

Shantay, you stay.

[laughter and applause]

You are safe to slay another day.

Thank you.

Condragulations, ladies.

And remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love
somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

All: Amen! RuPaul: All right!

Now let the music play.

[singing] To, to, to, to the moon.

To the moon.

To the moon.

Ain't gonna take me away.

To, to, to, to the moon.

Next time on "RuPaul's Drag Race UK"...

We're gonna play Snatch Game!

All: Yeah!

I've got a mixture of
excitement and complete shit.

It's two time Snatch Game
winner, Baga Chipz!

[all screaming]

Announcer: It's Strictly Come
Snatch Game!

Let's welcome AJ Odudu and Tess Daly.

That's my type, baby.

[laughter]

Alan: You know you're meant to
be critiquing, not speed dating.

- You know that.
- Whoo!

I am spinning.

Just choose someone and go for it.

Commit.

Please don't stress yourself out.