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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,576 Now, that brings me neatly to point 16. 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,736 There is still a great deal of noise going on at night - 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,736 laughing, giggling, horseplay. 4 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,576 Now, we all get bored - that's inevitable in our circumstances - 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:15,736 but may I remind you, we are at war. I wo... 6 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,936 Ah. Lieutenant! 7 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,456 Communique for you, sir, from HQ, marked urgent. Ah. Finally! 8 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,640 This'll be my requisition for a service revolver. 9 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,816 Good God! Sir? France has surrendered. My God! 10 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,920 The Germans are coming! 11 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,896 I... don't think they'll be here just yet, sir. 12 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,256 What? Right. 13 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,976 May I suggest we initiate the emergency lockdown protocol, sir? 14 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,456 Yes! Yes, jolly good. 15 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,040 No, it's vital that nothing fall into enemy hands. 16 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,760 You heard the CO. Get to your duties. 17 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,456 Er... exciting times, Havers. 18 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,480 If they do invade, we may get a proper pop at Jerry. Yes! 19 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,800 About that, sir... 20 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,600 ..I know we do vital work here, sir... 21 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,320 ...but I want to get involved in the fighting. 22 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,856 I've put in for a transfer. 23 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,960 You're leaving? 24 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,120 There's talk of a North Africa front. 25 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:21,440 Yes. 26 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,280 Yes, well, I-I-I totally understand, of course. 27 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,800 Carry on. 28 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:30,760 Thank you. 29 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,256 And seeing as nobody else has volunteered, 30 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,936 I thought that this evening, before Film Club, 31 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,176 I would give you all a little talk on... activity badges! 32 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,456 So... 33 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,696 There are 37 badges that you can collect. 34 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:17,016 Badge number one, bivouacking! All right! 35 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,536 Clever dicks! 36 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,096 But I'm sorry, I mean, 37 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,536 if anyone else has anything new that they'd like to... 38 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:26,536 Ooh, ooh, I could do my talk on how to skin a mammoth. 39 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,576 You start at the end... 40 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,696 That's not new! That's not strictly new, is it? 41 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,376 I'm ready to talk about the witch trial. 42 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,000 Witch trial... 43 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,520 If... if it be of interest. 44 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,776 Oh! Oh, Mary! 45 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,576 I mean... if you're sure. I mean, if you feel like you're ready. 46 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,216 Well, I knows it's taken me a whiles to-to talk. 47 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,720 Only about 300 years. 48 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,600 But, yeah, I-I think I'm ready. 49 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,616 Brillo pads. You OK? Can't flipping wait! 50 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:12,216 And we'll do that before Film Club. Before. OK. 51 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,856 And how many rooms do you have? Well, I think there's, like... 52 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,696 Natural light! So that's a... 53 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,120 Ooh! Period stairs - clearly. 54 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:25,976 Interesting space. 55 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,696 Sort of... rustic. 56 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,176 Colonial! 57 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,456 Quite a niche market, wedding-wise. 58 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,456 I heard Isabelle from Belle's Weddings passed 59 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:36,896 and you were sick on her. 60 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,576 Ah, no, I was sick near her. Mm. 61 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,136 Some went on her. A little bit. 62 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,976 Can I be honest with you? 63 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,240 I don't like it. 64 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,416 I love it! It is a little shabby round the edges 65 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,616 but with a bit of zhooshing up, this could really suit the right couple. 66 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,496 And do you happen to have any clients who are interested, like... 67 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,416 Soon? There is one - 68 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,736 Clare, I'm showing her some other places today. 69 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,856 She wants to book in ASAP. 70 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,856 Shotgun wedding! Ah... 71 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,896 I'm kidding. I think this could work for them. 72 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,136 Piano - tick! 73 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,576 Open fireplace - tick! 74 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,896 Canape room - tick. 75 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,176 Mood painting of creepy old lady - tick. 76 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,176 Kitchen - tick. Perfectly placed 77 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,376 to allow you to flow right through this corridor, 78 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,376 straight into your garden at the back 79 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:23,160 where you can set up your main marquee right... here!? 80 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,416 Oh, no! Er, yeah. 81 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,576 We can't show people this! 82 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,336 There's rough around the edges, and then there's a bombsite. 83 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,696 We haven't quite got round to clearing it yet. But we will. 84 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,936 By this afternoon? When? What? 85 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,616 I was going to bring Claire round after showing her the other venues 86 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,216 but I can't show her this! 87 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,176 You have to make space for this sort of marquee 88 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,656 if you want to host weddings here. 89 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,736 Without it, you've no catering flow. 90 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,216 No flow, no go. Yeah... 91 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,936 Guys, you've got to get it wedding ready. 92 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,936 We'll clear it. We will? 93 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,056 Is what I wanted to hear! 94 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,480 Let's make this happen. 95 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,616 I'll delay Clare as long as I can. Say... four o'clock? 96 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,080 Ciao-ciao! 97 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,296 Five hours? 98 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,376 Loads of time!? 99 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,336 So, Film Club! Now, I know it's not my turn to choose, but 100 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,136 I would like to lobby hard... for Top Gun. 101 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,976 Not again! 102 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,816 I don't know about you, Mary, but, er, I quite like the look, of, er, 103 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:29,720 ooh, Chariots Of Fire? 104 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,600 No. Actually, er, how about... Mississippi Burning? 105 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,600 Towering Inferno? 106 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,296 Hmm! Huh! Maybe she is ready. Could be the case. 107 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,936 Anyway, it's my turn to choose this week, so tish-tish-tish... 108 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,736 I don't think so, mate! It's mine. 109 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,736 Faradiddle, sir! You had your turn two weeks ago. You swapped with me. 110 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,656 No, no, I don't recall to that. 111 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,336 Even if I did, it would have been a verbal, non-binding agreement. 112 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,536 You show me your thumb, sir? 113 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,336 I would show you my glove, sir! If I had one. 114 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,336 I would give you a bunch of fives, mate. 115 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,336 I used to box for Cambridge, y'know! Go! Let's go, pal! 116 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,496 Guys, guys, guys, guys! S'il vous plait! 117 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,456 French. Ooh! 118 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,896 Why don't we put it to the vote? 119 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,576 Oh, yeah, put it to the people, like they know what they're doing! 120 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,280 Hands up who thinks it's Thomas's turn. 121 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,816 I've got my hand up. Probably. Somewhere. 122 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:28,376 Ra-da-da-da-da! Hang on, not everyone's here. 123 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,720 Well, where are they? 124 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,856 Ahhh! 125 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:47,680 Oh! 126 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,280 Hmm! Ooh! 127 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,440 Oh... my... God. 128 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,256 Oh, Martin's right. We're never going to be wedding ready. 129 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,696 Well, let's get redding-wea... redding-ready. Er, wed... 130 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,216 Oh, no. Ready... 131 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,496 Alison, if you please, 132 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,696 Julian says that it's his turn to choose Film Club, 133 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,016 and it isn't, it's mine. 134 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,616 Please, everyone, we're having a bit of a crisis here. 135 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,296 This is a crisis. You know? I mean, it might not be the Suez Crisis, 136 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,336 but it's a very... Guys, guys, guys, guys, 137 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,376 shut up! Good! Let her speak. 138 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,816 It's all right, you can speak. 139 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,536 We're trying to get this wedding booking. 140 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,576 Oh, there's going to be a wedding? How wonderful! 141 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,736 The dresses, the men, the kissing... 142 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:31,776 But we need to clear this whole garden by four! 143 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:32,976 We're never going to do it! 144 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,056 Hang on a minute. Ooh, jinx. 145 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,736 You go first, Michael. We can do it. 146 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,976 If we clear that... Hmm... 147 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,656 ..and then we move this... And I'll help, too. 148 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,656 How, Pat? I could be your wingman! You know, like in Top Gun. 149 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,936 I can be Goose to your Maverick. Yeah. 150 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,456 I'll keep this lot occupied while you do what you have to do. 151 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,536 And Goose dies in the film so, y'know... it works out, doesn't it? 152 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,896 Thanks, Pat. Yeah. Of course we can fit a marquee in. 153 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,216 I mean, how hard can it be? They put a man on the moon. 154 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,456 What? What? What did he say? 155 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,856 Er... Man on moonah? 156 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,056 OK, I'll go get the tools. You check the measurements. 157 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,896 Let's get redding red... Wedding ready. Redding... Wedding ready. 158 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,216 Let's get wedderi... It's wedding ready. Let's do this! 159 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,776 Yesss! 160 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,736 Alison, what was the man doing up there on the moon? 161 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,256 They went to explore. Oh! 162 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,296 And how did he get there? Climb up a beanstalk, did he? 163 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,016 You're dicked in the knob. Wha...? 164 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,296 I don't believe it. No. No! 165 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,256 There's no way it could happen! 166 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,096 Pat, now would be a really good moment to be a wingman. 167 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,656 Great! OK, everyone, let's turn and burn. 168 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,376 Oh, sorry, Mary. MARY WHIMPERS 169 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,856 It's a quote from Top Gun. 170 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,080 Let's grab the computer that folds. 171 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,000 Oh, goodness me! 172 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,400 Ooh! Ohhh! 173 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,376 But he's such a... a ruffian! 174 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,840 Oh! 175 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,456 Think about it, Robin. Man has always looked up at the moon 176 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,896 and thought... "Can you eat it?" 177 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,816 No, "Can you walk on it?" 178 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,296 Press play. 179 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:26,256 In 1969, the world watched in wonder 180 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,936 as three brave astronauts took off from Cape Canaveral. 181 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,856 Their destination - the moon. 182 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,416 Ooh! It was an amazing moment. 183 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:38,976 Everyone remembers where they were. I was with Carole, at her parents'. 184 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,056 Fish and chips for tea. 185 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,856 It was the first time I ever tried a battered jumbo sausage. 186 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,496 Never looked back! 187 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,496 I missed the whole thing. I was still a student at Cambridge 188 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:53,216 busy having my own "moon landing" if you know what I mean! 189 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,696 My first threeso... 190 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,056 Moonah! 191 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:59,536 Ah, there you are. What's going on here? 192 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,656 Oh! I'm, er, helping Alison. 193 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:05,280 Yes, keeping this lot busy while she and Mike dig up the garden. 194 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,000 Which garden? 195 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,256 How are you getting on? 196 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,576 It's going to be a squeeze. First, we have to clear all of this. 197 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,056 No! No. 198 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,776 Belay that order, Michael. You can't dig there. That's a negative. 199 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,456 Wait. Sorry, one second, Mike. 200 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,816 Didn't you tell them we're busy? 201 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,616 Most of them are watching YouTube. Jel. 202 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:24,816 Why can't we dig there? 203 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,656 Because that's a very special part of the garden. 204 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,736 Er, that was where our allotment was, the regimental allotment. 205 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,256 It's fine, Mike, just keep digging. 206 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,136 But, no, it's where we buried our pets. 207 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,816 Er, my dog is buried there, right there, 208 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,496 and he was very special to me. Barry. 209 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,936 Barry? Barry. 210 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,456 Wait, Mike. 211 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,096 So, sorry, you had a dog called Barry? 212 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,656 Mm. 213 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,376 OK. Mike, you can just carry on. No, thank you, Michael! 214 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,456 Ohhh! Oh, that was a deep one. Ohhh! 215 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,616 Call him off! Call him off, I tell you. 216 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,496 OK, just one second, Mike. 217 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,456 When I was at Button House, there was a war on. 218 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,256 I don't think that's ever come up before. 219 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,136 There is something buried down there that is very sensitive. 220 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,096 Captain, the war is over. 221 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,136 Is it, Alison? Is it? 222 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,440 Yes, it is. 223 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,560 Please... don't dig. 224 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,536 There is something down there 225 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:17,400 that is potentially explosive if it gets out. 226 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,856 Er... Mike, do you think we could clear the other side? 227 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,256 Just the other side, Michael. 228 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,816 Looks like a lot of work. 229 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,280 Sorry. It's a ghost thing. Well... 230 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,240 KNOCK ON DOOR Come! 231 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,336 Ah! Havers. 232 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:56,256 At ease, at ease. I was just thinking about you, actually. 233 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,736 How's the emergency lockdown coming? Very good, sir. 234 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,816 Most items have been squared away, as per the order. Excellent! 235 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,536 I see... I've come to tell you that... 236 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:06,840 Sorry, you first, Lieutenant. 237 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,720 I'm afraid I'm leaving you, sir... 238 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,376 ..at 1800 hours this evening. 239 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,480 So soon? 240 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,376 That would explain your new service revolver. 241 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,136 I don't suppose they sent one for me, did they? 242 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,576 Only for front-line personnel at this stage, sir. 243 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,216 Of course. Yes. 244 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,816 It's North Africa, sir. 245 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,096 I'll be able to have a proper swing at Fritz! 246 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,240 You make sure you give them a bloody nose! 247 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:38,880 I shall miss you, Havers. 248 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:45,536 By which I mean, of course, that we shall miss you. 249 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,736 And I know the Button House XI will certainly miss your cover drive. 250 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,840 Thank you, sir. Well... if that's all? 251 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,160 Yes. 252 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,040 I say, Havers? 253 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,440 It's a bally shame we won't get to finish the operation together. 254 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,256 ..which leads to the question - where next? 255 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,016 Mars, or even the outer edge of our solar system? 256 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,416 Only time will tell. 257 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,120 Well, I never. 258 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,736 Anyway, Film Club. Yes! Now, 259 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,336 I was thinking 9 1/2 Weeks. 260 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,536 Over my already dead body, sir! Fine by me! 261 00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:12,096 Guys, guys, look, why don't we settle this properly, OK? 262 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,616 Quite right. Let's settle this like men. 263 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,680 Would you care to step outside, sir? Yes, I would, sir. Indeed, sir. 264 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,976 Guys, you don't have to do... 265 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,176 Where are you going? I promised Alison that you would... Ohhh! 266 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,736 OK, the moon landings. Everybody says it's real, 267 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:35,040 but what if that's just what they wanted you to believe? 268 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,336 Oh! 269 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,976 Right, you both know the rules, so we're agreed. 270 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,896 To solve this once and for all - 271 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,576 on three... 272 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,576 One, two, 273 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,680 three... 274 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,376 What's that supposed to be? Pistol. 275 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,096 Thomas... I always choose pistol. 276 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,256 Yeah, it really worked out for you last time, didn't it? 277 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,776 There were circumstances around my death, I'll have you know, sir. 278 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,336 It's rock, paper, scissors, Thomas. I thought I told you. 279 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,296 No, it's all right, let's play it his way. 280 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,080 One, two, three... 281 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,896 What's this now? AK-47 assault rifle. 282 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,936 Sold 50 crates of these bad boys to the Libyans in '83. 283 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,176 Paid for my orangery! 284 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,536 You can have one of these as well. 285 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,376 You don't get two weapons! 286 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,256 Julian, come on! 287 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,536 And this. Pshhhhh! 288 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,696 You're on fire, mate. Argh! 289 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,416 Sorry, Mary. Well, no, actually, because... Sorry! 290 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,600 Argh! I'm melting! Can't feel it. Nothing happened. 291 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,416 What should we do with all this? 292 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,376 Maybe just pile it up over there and then we'll deal with it later. 293 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,456 I think we might just do this. See? Told you! 294 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,400 Redding red... Redditch... 295 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,960 We got this. Mm. 296 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,096 Oh, great... 297 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,400 How are we going to move that? 298 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,176 I think we might have to break it up with a big hammer or something. 299 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,776 What? We can't do that! Can we? 300 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,256 Yeah, why not? Florence! 301 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:03,496 Oh... wait. I can already tell this isn't good news. 302 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,776 Who's Florence, Kitty? She was one of my best friends. 303 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,936 I used to play hide-and-seek in the garden with my sister 304 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,016 and I was so good at hiding that often she couldn't find me 305 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,480 for a whole day and night! 306 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,576 I once got so hungry, I had to eat a bit of my purse. 307 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,936 Florence kept me company. 308 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,736 Oh, so you made a statue of her? 309 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,536 No, she is a statue. Eh? 310 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,736 That's enough. We'll sort this out right now. 311 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,056 Guys! Oh, I'd forgotten all about you. 312 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,776 Zoinks! Where've you been hiding? 313 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,416 Guys, she's a statue! 314 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,376 Pat, you were supposed to be keeping everyone occupied. Yeah... 315 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,656 It's like herding cats! 316 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:40,736 I'm sorry, Alison, I'm a terrible wingman. 317 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,416 Well, can you at least sort out these two? 318 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,160 SIGHS Yes. 319 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,776 Oh! Hang on! Guys? I think I've had an idea. 320 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,576 Follow me. Let's turn and burn... again. 321 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,896 So, are we smashing this up or what? Aaargh! 322 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,096 All right, one sec, Mike. No, Kitty, please. 323 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,376 Oh, please stop, please. 324 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,416 We won't... we won't destroy Florence. 325 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,936 We're just going to, er... we could move her. 326 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,600 It's a deal... as long as you play hide-and-seek with me. Ah. 327 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,416 So we're moving her? Yeah. Sorry. 328 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,696 I think you might be an expert at this game. I'm very good at it, yes. 329 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,336 OK. Well, you hide first. Ooh! Ooh-hoo... 330 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:20,216 One... two... You'll never find me, Alison! 331 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,920 ..three... OK! 332 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,560 Sorry. 333 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,936 ..that's why we need to look seriously 334 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,096 at the grassy knoll. I mean, look at those angles. 335 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,616 ..because Elvis Presley did not die that day on the toilet. 336 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,816 That's how we know the British monarchy was replaced by weasels. 337 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,016 No, it's fine. I have to say, it's lovely to be included. 338 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,736 Game on! 339 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:48,896 See what you've got. 340 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,960 Julian, serve! Bring it! 341 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,400 Adrenaline 342 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,640 Fie! 343 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,160 Whoaaaaa! 344 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,080 Yeah! 345 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,440 Whoa! 346 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,880 Hello, Alison. 347 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,896 Oh! Ohhh! You found me! 348 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,416 Oh, I found... Oh, you're playing, too! 349 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,456 I don't know... Yes! 350 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,416 No-one has ever found me before, ever! 351 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,416 You're so good at this. Thank you. 352 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:58,016 Right, your turn to hide. I'll count, you hide, and I'll seek. 353 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,616 OK... One...! Oh, it's numbers! Two... 354 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,600 Oh, no, it's numbers! Three... 355 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:14,376 Ohhh! Ooh! Oh! 356 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,136 Fanny! Fanny! 357 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,736 Oh! Oh, Captain! Fanny, are you quite all right? 358 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,040 No. No, I find myself having a, er... 359 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,976 ..a conniption fit. Good Lord! 360 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,016 Er, er, I have become... attracted to someone. 361 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,696 Well, Fanny, I, er... I'm very flattered, er, 362 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,896 but I've got a lot of problems of my own at the moment... 363 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,736 Oh, good heavens, no! 364 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,456 No? Not you! 365 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,896 No, no, no. Never you! Yeah... 366 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,096 No, I-I... cannot say who. 367 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,096 But I know not what to do. 368 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,856 Now, steady, Fanny, steady the buffs. 369 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,576 Now, look here, nothing good will come of it. 370 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,496 You must take that emotion and you must bury it. 371 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,080 Never let it out. 372 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,840 No more, Fanny, no more. Wha...?! 373 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,560 Ooh! Oh! 374 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,320 Any luck? Just can't move... 375 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,416 THUD Argh! 376 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,000 It's pointless! 377 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,376 That was my favourite toe! You have a favourite toe? 378 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,080 Don't you have a favourite toe? I've not really thought about it, Mike. 379 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,736 No, no, not fair. The head was out. By a nose! 380 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,536 What?! Tell them, Humphrey. 381 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,976 Oh, don't ask me. I'm just happy to be part of the game. 382 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,976 I feel so alive! LAUGHS 383 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,616 Right, well, as the judge here... 384 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,176 Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's listen to the judge. 385 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,720 Let's listen to the man. 386 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,336 What? Lone gunman? Do me favour! 387 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,936 And Paul McCartney died in 1966. 388 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:22,696 I know it. Don't even get me started on the so-called "moonah landings". 389 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,296 Whooo! Sorry! 390 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,096 Don't worry. It's quite a nice view. 391 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,456 Ha, ha, found you! Ohhh! 392 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,056 How wonderful! 393 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,456 Now, erm, you hide and I'll counting. 394 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,216 Yes. No peeking! No, no peeking. 395 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,640 One... two... 396 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,696 ..three... four... 397 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:52,136 Oh, I'm so done with this. No. No. 398 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,416 You know what? ..14... 399 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,016 We've cleared loads. I'll get rid of the garden waste 400 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,600 and we'll make the best of it. Huh? 401 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,616 Yeah. Alison! 402 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,576 There is something I must confess. 403 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,536 It is a matter of moral rectitude, and I can hold it in no longer. 404 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,896 Open your eyes! 405 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,976 Next, you'll be telling me gravity doesn't exist! 406 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,856 Well, you can't see it. How do you know? 407 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,296 Alison, could you explain to Robin that the moon landings were real? 408 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,440 The moon landings! You cannot be serious. 409 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,440 ..97... 98... 410 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,376 ..99... 100! 411 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,840 Oh. Ah... 412 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,136 What the bally hell do you think you're playing at? 413 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,376 Alison! Get away from there! 414 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,560 Get down! Get right out of the way. It's going to blow! 415 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:44,776 It's a bomb! 416 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,576 Mike, Mike, get back! Just get back! 417 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,696 Go! 418 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,640 Get d-o-o-own! 419 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,760 Captain? 420 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,056 Oh. 421 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,000 Yeah, maybe you right about gravity. 422 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,736 Now, I realise that was an utterly futile gesture, 423 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,616 but I was very much caught up in the moment. 424 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,336 Wh... what the hell was that? 425 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,456 Er, I was very clear, Alison. 426 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,176 What? I didn't think you meant literally explosive! 427 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,776 I thought you meant, like, it was scandalous. No! 428 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,416 It was a prototype limpet mine. 429 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,456 It was so secret that only I knew about it 430 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,336 and my second-in-command Lieutenant Havers, but... he left me. 431 00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,056 I mean, he left for the front. 432 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,616 So, er, I had to bury it on my own, along with the blueprints. 433 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,760 Operation William, it was called. 434 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,496 Oh, that's Martin. 435 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,896 That was a ghost thing? Yeah. 436 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,816 Maybe next time tell me if it's a bomb! 437 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,256 I didn't know! 438 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,936 OK, I'll stall Clare and Martin in the house and you just... 439 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,720 Oh, you just do what you can. 440 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,456 Yeah. Actually, a very clever little device, 441 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,456 a cunning timing mechanism in the housing 442 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,496 allowed the frogmen to exfiltrate safely. 443 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,616 Anyway... 444 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,616 They've gone, haven't they? Good! 445 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:10,416 Go on. Ah, Robin. Now, so, they had four suckers... Suckers. 446 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,976 ..and they attached the limpet mine underneath the waterline... Oh! 447 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,080 ..blew a hole in the boat and, then, of course, the boat sank. 448 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,776 ..and this is the main common room. Again. 449 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,896 Erm, we thought... It is really nice, but can we...? 450 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,216 Did... did you want to see the library? Again? 451 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,000 I'd really love to see the garden. 452 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,496 Now... Claire, I... I need you to keep an open mind. 453 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,056 We know that the rest of the house can be dressed, um, 454 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,200 and we are working on the garden, believe me. Erm... 455 00:24:58,360 --> 00:24:59,696 Redding weddy! 456 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,280 I love it! 457 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,280 CHUCKLES Great! 458 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:18,416 OK, so, really exciting presentation tonight, guys. 459 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,336 As promised, Mary is going to be giving a talk 460 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,216 about her witch trial. 461 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,456 No, sorry, no! I've had, erm, a... a bit of a setback. 462 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:32,256 OK. OK, yeah, that's understandable, isn't it, given the, erm...? 463 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:33,656 Sorry. Yes. 464 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,776 So, now, seeing as we technically didn't finish the match, 465 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,216 I'm calling the volleyball game a draw. 466 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,496 What? Are you on drugs? No! I was ahead! 467 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,376 That's enough. That's absolutely enough. I've had a bellyful! 468 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,976 Now, since we can't resolve this, 469 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,696 I've decided that I'm going to choose the film tonight. 470 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,496 Is it Love Actually? I love Love Actually, actually. 471 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,536 9 1/2 Weeks. The Notebook. 472 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,896 Please don't shout out, OK? 473 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,016 The film I've chosen has something for everyone - 474 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,536 drama, visual poetry... 475 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,576 It's got some of your lot in it, Robin. 476 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,640 Ooh! And... some pretty ladies for Julian. Yeah! 477 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:15,200 It is, of course, 2001: A Space Odyssey. 478 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,736 Thanks, Pat. You can be my wingman any time. 479 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,360 Bullshit, you can be mine. 480 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:25,720 It's from Top Gun. 481 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:29,440 Just here. 482 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,416 Ooh, that's got a kick to it, that. 483 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,696 OK. Mm. Mm! 484 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,816 What was it you wanted to talk to me about? 485 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,096 Oh! No, just a passing fancy is all, Alison. 486 00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,336 Please don't trouble yourself. 487 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,256 Kitty, I'm sorry about Florence. 488 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,056 Oh, that's all right. I wasn't really that fond of her, anyway. 489 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,096 You're a much better best friend than she was. 490 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,696 Thanks, Kitty. 491 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,456 Wait. No, that not right. 492 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,136 What? Earth not round. It flat. 493 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,256 You what? It flat. 494 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,280 To our first wedding booking! Cheers. 495 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,216 Here's to buried secrets. 496 00:27:23,064 --> 00:27:26,064 Subtitles >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 37699

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