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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,576
Now, that brings me
neatly to point 16.
2
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,736
There is still a great deal of noise
going on at night -
3
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,736
laughing, giggling, horseplay.
4
00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,576
Now, we all get bored - that's
inevitable in our circumstances -
5
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:15,736
but may I remind you, we are at war.
I wo...
6
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,936
Ah. Lieutenant!
7
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,456
Communique for you, sir, from HQ,
marked urgent. Ah. Finally!
8
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,640
This'll be my requisition
for a service revolver.
9
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,816
Good God! Sir?
France has surrendered. My God!
10
00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,920
The Germans are coming!
11
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,896
I... don't think they'll be here
just yet, sir.
12
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,256
What? Right.
13
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,976
May I suggest we initiate the
emergency lockdown protocol, sir?
14
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,456
Yes! Yes, jolly good.
15
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,040
No, it's vital that nothing
fall into enemy hands.
16
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,760
You heard the CO.
Get to your duties.
17
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,456
Er... exciting times, Havers.
18
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,480
If they do invade, we may get
a proper pop at Jerry. Yes!
19
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:02,800
About that, sir...
20
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,600
..I know we do vital work here,
sir...
21
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,320
...but I want to get involved
in the fighting.
22
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,856
I've put in for a transfer.
23
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,960
You're leaving?
24
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,120
There's talk of
a North Africa front.
25
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:21,440
Yes.
26
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,280
Yes, well, I-I-I totally understand,
of course.
27
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,800
Carry on.
28
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:30,760
Thank you.
29
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,256
And seeing as
nobody else has volunteered,
30
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,936
I thought that this evening,
before Film Club,
31
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,176
I would give you all
a little talk on... activity badges!
32
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,456
So...
33
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,696
There are 37 badges
that you can collect.
34
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:17,016
Badge number one, bivouacking!
All right!
35
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,536
Clever dicks!
36
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,096
But I'm sorry, I mean,
37
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,536
if anyone else has anything new
that they'd like to...
38
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:26,536
Ooh, ooh, I could do my talk
on how to skin a mammoth.
39
00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,576
You start at the end...
40
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,696
That's not new!
That's not strictly new, is it?
41
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,376
I'm ready to talk
about the witch trial.
42
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,000
Witch trial...
43
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,520
If... if it be of interest.
44
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,776
Oh! Oh, Mary!
45
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,576
I mean... if you're sure. I mean,
if you feel like you're ready.
46
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,216
Well, I knows it's taken me
a whiles to-to talk.
47
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,720
Only about 300 years.
48
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,600
But, yeah, I-I think I'm ready.
49
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,616
Brillo pads. You OK?
Can't flipping wait!
50
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:12,216
And we'll do that before Film Club.
Before. OK.
51
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,856
And how many rooms do you have?
Well, I think there's, like...
52
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,696
Natural light! So that's a...
53
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,120
Ooh! Period stairs - clearly.
54
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:25,976
Interesting space.
55
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,696
Sort of... rustic.
56
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,176
Colonial!
57
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,456
Quite a niche market, wedding-wise.
58
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,456
I heard Isabelle
from Belle's Weddings passed
59
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:36,896
and you were sick on her.
60
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,576
Ah, no, I was sick near her. Mm.
61
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,136
Some went on her. A little bit.
62
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,976
Can I be honest with you?
63
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,240
I don't like it.
64
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,416
I love it! It is a little shabby
round the edges
65
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,616
but with a bit of zhooshing up, this
could really suit the right couple.
66
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,496
And do you happen to have any
clients who are interested, like...
67
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,416
Soon? There is one -
68
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,736
Clare, I'm showing her
some other places today.
69
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,856
She wants to book in ASAP.
70
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,856
Shotgun wedding! Ah...
71
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,896
I'm kidding.
I think this could work for them.
72
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,136
Piano - tick!
73
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,576
Open fireplace - tick!
74
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,896
Canape room - tick.
75
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,176
Mood painting of creepy old lady -
tick.
76
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,176
Kitchen - tick. Perfectly placed
77
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,376
to allow you to flow
right through this corridor,
78
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,376
straight into your garden
at the back
79
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:23,160
where you can set up
your main marquee right... here!?
80
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,416
Oh, no! Er, yeah.
81
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,576
We can't show people this!
82
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,336
There's rough around the edges,
and then there's a bombsite.
83
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,696
We haven't quite got round to
clearing it yet. But we will.
84
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,936
By this afternoon? When? What?
85
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,616
I was going to bring Claire round
after showing her the other venues
86
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,216
but I can't show her this!
87
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,176
You have to make space
for this sort of marquee
88
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,656
if you want to host weddings here.
89
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,736
Without it, you've no catering flow.
90
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,216
No flow, no go. Yeah...
91
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,936
Guys, you've got to get it
wedding ready.
92
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,936
We'll clear it. We will?
93
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,056
Is what I wanted to hear!
94
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,480
Let's make this happen.
95
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,616
I'll delay Clare as long as I can.
Say... four o'clock?
96
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,080
Ciao-ciao!
97
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,296
Five hours?
98
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,376
Loads of time!?
99
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,336
So, Film Club! Now, I know
it's not my turn to choose, but
100
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,136
I would like to lobby hard...
for Top Gun.
101
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,976
Not again!
102
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,816
I don't know about you, Mary, but,
er, I quite like the look, of, er,
103
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:29,720
ooh, Chariots Of Fire?
104
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,600
No. Actually, er, how about...
Mississippi Burning?
105
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,600
Towering Inferno?
106
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,296
Hmm! Huh! Maybe she is ready.
Could be the case.
107
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,936
Anyway, it's my turn to choose this
week, so tish-tish-tish...
108
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,736
I don't think so, mate! It's mine.
109
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,736
Faradiddle, sir! You had your turn
two weeks ago. You swapped with me.
110
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,656
No, no, I don't recall to that.
111
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,336
Even if I did, it would have been
a verbal, non-binding agreement.
112
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,536
You show me your thumb, sir?
113
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,336
I would show you my glove, sir!
If I had one.
114
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,336
I would give you a bunch of fives,
mate.
115
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,336
I used to box for Cambridge, y'know!
Go! Let's go, pal!
116
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,496
Guys, guys, guys, guys!
S'il vous plait!
117
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,456
French. Ooh!
118
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,896
Why don't we put it to the vote?
119
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,576
Oh, yeah, put it to the people,
like they know what they're doing!
120
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,280
Hands up who thinks
it's Thomas's turn.
121
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,816
I've got my hand up.
Probably. Somewhere.
122
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:28,376
Ra-da-da-da-da!
Hang on, not everyone's here.
123
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,720
Well, where are they?
124
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,856
Ahhh!
125
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:47,680
Oh!
126
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,280
Hmm! Ooh!
127
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,440
Oh... my... God.
128
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,256
Oh, Martin's right. We're
never going to be wedding ready.
129
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,696
Well, let's get redding-wea...
redding-ready. Er, wed...
130
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,216
Oh, no. Ready...
131
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,496
Alison, if you please,
132
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,696
Julian says that
it's his turn to choose Film Club,
133
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,016
and it isn't, it's mine.
134
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,616
Please, everyone,
we're having a bit of a crisis here.
135
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,296
This is a crisis. You know? I mean,
it might not be the Suez Crisis,
136
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,336
but it's a very...
Guys, guys, guys, guys,
137
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,376
shut up! Good! Let her speak.
138
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,816
It's all right, you can speak.
139
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,536
We're trying to get
this wedding booking.
140
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,576
Oh, there's going to be a wedding?
How wonderful!
141
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,736
The dresses, the men, the kissing...
142
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:31,776
But we need to clear
this whole garden by four!
143
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:32,976
We're never going to do it!
144
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,056
Hang on a minute.
Ooh, jinx.
145
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,736
You go first, Michael.
We can do it.
146
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,976
If we clear that... Hmm...
147
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,656
..and then we move this...
And I'll help, too.
148
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,656
How, Pat? I could be your wingman!
You know, like in Top Gun.
149
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,936
I can be Goose to your Maverick.
Yeah.
150
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,456
I'll keep this lot occupied
while you do what you have to do.
151
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,536
And Goose dies in the film so,
y'know... it works out, doesn't it?
152
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,896
Thanks, Pat. Yeah.
Of course we can fit a marquee in.
153
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,216
I mean, how hard can it be?
They put a man on the moon.
154
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,456
What? What? What did he say?
155
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,856
Er... Man on moonah?
156
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,056
OK, I'll go get the tools.
You check the measurements.
157
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,896
Let's get redding red... Wedding
ready. Redding... Wedding ready.
158
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,216
Let's get wedderi...
It's wedding ready. Let's do this!
159
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,776
Yesss!
160
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,736
Alison, what was the man
doing up there on the moon?
161
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,256
They went to explore. Oh!
162
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,296
And how did he get there?
Climb up a beanstalk, did he?
163
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,016
You're dicked in the knob. Wha...?
164
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,296
I don't believe it. No. No!
165
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,256
There's no way it could happen!
166
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,096
Pat, now would be a
really good moment to be a wingman.
167
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,656
Great!
OK, everyone, let's turn and burn.
168
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,376
Oh, sorry, Mary. MARY WHIMPERS
169
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,856
It's a quote from Top Gun.
170
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,080
Let's grab the computer that folds.
171
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,000
Oh, goodness me!
172
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,400
Ooh! Ohhh!
173
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,376
But he's such a... a ruffian!
174
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,840
Oh!
175
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,456
Think about it, Robin. Man has
always looked up at the moon
176
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,896
and thought... "Can you eat it?"
177
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,816
No, "Can you walk on it?"
178
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,296
Press play.
179
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:26,256
In 1969, the world watched in wonder
180
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,936
as three brave astronauts
took off from Cape Canaveral.
181
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,856
Their destination - the moon.
182
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,416
Ooh!
It was an amazing moment.
183
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:38,976
Everyone remembers where they were.
I was with Carole, at her parents'.
184
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,056
Fish and chips for tea.
185
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,856
It was the first time I ever tried
a battered jumbo sausage.
186
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,496
Never looked back!
187
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,496
I missed the whole thing.
I was still a student at Cambridge
188
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:53,216
busy having my own "moon landing"
if you know what I mean!
189
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,696
My first threeso...
190
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,056
Moonah!
191
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:59,536
Ah, there you are.
What's going on here?
192
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,656
Oh! I'm, er, helping Alison.
193
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:05,280
Yes, keeping this lot busy while
she and Mike dig up the garden.
194
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,000
Which garden?
195
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,256
How are you getting on?
196
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,576
It's going to be a squeeze.
First, we have to clear all of this.
197
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,056
No! No.
198
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,776
Belay that order, Michael. You
can't dig there. That's a negative.
199
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,456
Wait. Sorry, one second, Mike.
200
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,816
Didn't you tell them we're busy?
201
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,616
Most of them are watching YouTube.
Jel.
202
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:24,816
Why can't we dig there?
203
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,656
Because that's a very special part
of the garden.
204
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,736
Er, that was where our allotment
was, the regimental allotment.
205
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,256
It's fine, Mike, just keep digging.
206
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,136
But, no, it's where
we buried our pets.
207
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,816
Er, my dog is buried there,
right there,
208
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,496
and he was very special to me.
Barry.
209
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,936
Barry? Barry.
210
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,456
Wait, Mike.
211
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,096
So, sorry, you had a dog
called Barry?
212
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,656
Mm.
213
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,376
OK. Mike, you can just carry on.
No, thank you, Michael!
214
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,456
Ohhh!
Oh, that was a deep one. Ohhh!
215
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,616
Call him off! Call him off,
I tell you.
216
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,496
OK, just one second, Mike.
217
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,456
When I was at Button House,
there was a war on.
218
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,256
I don't think that's ever come up
before.
219
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,136
There is something buried down there
that is very sensitive.
220
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,096
Captain, the war is over.
221
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,136
Is it, Alison? Is it?
222
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,440
Yes, it is.
223
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,560
Please... don't dig.
224
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,536
There is something down there
225
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:17,400
that is potentially explosive
if it gets out.
226
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,856
Er... Mike, do you think
we could clear the other side?
227
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,256
Just the other side, Michael.
228
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,816
Looks like a lot of work.
229
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,280
Sorry. It's a ghost thing.
Well...
230
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,240
KNOCK ON DOOR Come!
231
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,336
Ah! Havers.
232
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:56,256
At ease, at ease. I was just
thinking about you, actually.
233
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,736
How's the emergency lockdown
coming? Very good, sir.
234
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,816
Most items have been squared away,
as per the order. Excellent!
235
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,536
I see...
I've come to tell you that...
236
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:06,840
Sorry, you first, Lieutenant.
237
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,720
I'm afraid I'm leaving you, sir...
238
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,376
..at 1800 hours this evening.
239
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,480
So soon?
240
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,376
That would explain
your new service revolver.
241
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,136
I don't suppose they sent one
for me, did they?
242
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,576
Only for front-line personnel
at this stage, sir.
243
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,216
Of course. Yes.
244
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,816
It's North Africa, sir.
245
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,096
I'll be able to have
a proper swing at Fritz!
246
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,240
You make sure you give them
a bloody nose!
247
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:38,880
I shall miss you, Havers.
248
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:45,536
By which I mean, of course,
that we shall miss you.
249
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,736
And I know the Button House XI will
certainly miss your cover drive.
250
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,840
Thank you, sir.
Well... if that's all?
251
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,160
Yes.
252
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,040
I say, Havers?
253
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,440
It's a bally shame we won't get
to finish the operation together.
254
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,256
..which leads
to the question - where next?
255
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,016
Mars, or even the outer edge
of our solar system?
256
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,416
Only time will tell.
257
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,120
Well, I never.
258
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,736
Anyway, Film Club. Yes! Now,
259
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,336
I was thinking 9 1/2 Weeks.
260
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,536
Over my already dead body, sir!
Fine by me!
261
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:12,096
Guys, guys, look, why don't
we settle this properly, OK?
262
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,616
Quite right.
Let's settle this like men.
263
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,680
Would you care to step outside, sir?
Yes, I would, sir. Indeed, sir.
264
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,976
Guys, you don't have to do...
265
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,176
Where are you going? I promised
Alison that you would... Ohhh!
266
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,736
OK, the moon landings.
Everybody says it's real,
267
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:35,040
but what if that's just
what they wanted you to believe?
268
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,336
Oh!
269
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,976
Right, you both know the rules,
so we're agreed.
270
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,896
To solve this once and for all -
271
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,576
on three...
272
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,576
One, two,
273
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,680
three...
274
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,376
What's that supposed to be?
Pistol.
275
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,096
Thomas...
I always choose pistol.
276
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,256
Yeah, it really worked out
for you last time, didn't it?
277
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,776
There were circumstances around
my death, I'll have you know, sir.
278
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,336
It's rock, paper, scissors, Thomas.
I thought I told you.
279
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,296
No, it's all right,
let's play it his way.
280
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,080
One, two, three...
281
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,896
What's this now?
AK-47 assault rifle.
282
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,936
Sold 50 crates of these bad boys
to the Libyans in '83.
283
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,176
Paid for my orangery!
284
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,536
You can have one of these as well.
285
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,376
You don't get two weapons!
286
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,256
Julian, come on!
287
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,536
And this. Pshhhhh!
288
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,696
You're on fire, mate. Argh!
289
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,416
Sorry, Mary. Well, no, actually,
because... Sorry!
290
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,600
Argh! I'm melting!
Can't feel it. Nothing happened.
291
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,416
What should we do with all this?
292
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,376
Maybe just pile it up over there
and then we'll deal with it later.
293
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,456
I think we might just do this.
See? Told you!
294
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,400
Redding red... Redditch...
295
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,960
We got this. Mm.
296
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,096
Oh, great...
297
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,400
How are we going to move that?
298
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,176
I think we might have to break it up
with a big hammer or something.
299
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,776
What? We can't do that! Can we?
300
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,256
Yeah, why not? Florence!
301
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:03,496
Oh... wait. I can already tell
this isn't good news.
302
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,776
Who's Florence, Kitty?
She was one of my best friends.
303
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,936
I used to play hide-and-seek
in the garden with my sister
304
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,016
and I was so good at hiding
that often she couldn't find me
305
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,480
for a whole day and night!
306
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,576
I once got so hungry,
I had to eat a bit of my purse.
307
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,936
Florence kept me company.
308
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,736
Oh, so you made a statue of her?
309
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,536
No, she is a statue. Eh?
310
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,736
That's enough.
We'll sort this out right now.
311
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,056
Guys!
Oh, I'd forgotten all about you.
312
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,776
Zoinks! Where've you been hiding?
313
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,416
Guys, she's a statue!
314
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,376
Pat, you were supposed to be keeping
everyone occupied. Yeah...
315
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,656
It's like herding cats!
316
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:40,736
I'm sorry, Alison,
I'm a terrible wingman.
317
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,416
Well, can you at least sort out
these two?
318
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,160
SIGHS Yes.
319
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,776
Oh! Hang on!
Guys? I think I've had an idea.
320
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,576
Follow me.
Let's turn and burn... again.
321
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,896
So, are we smashing this up or what?
Aaargh!
322
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,096
All right, one sec, Mike.
No, Kitty, please.
323
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,376
Oh, please stop, please.
324
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,416
We won't... we won't
destroy Florence.
325
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,936
We're just going to, er...
we could move her.
326
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,600
It's a deal... as long as you play
hide-and-seek with me. Ah.
327
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,416
So we're moving her? Yeah. Sorry.
328
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,696
I think you might be an expert at
this game. I'm very good at it, yes.
329
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,336
OK. Well, you hide first. Ooh!
Ooh-hoo...
330
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:20,216
One... two...
You'll never find me, Alison!
331
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,920
..three... OK!
332
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,560
Sorry.
333
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,936
..that's
why we need to look seriously
334
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,096
at the grassy knoll.
I mean, look at those angles.
335
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,616
..because Elvis Presley
did not die that day on the toilet.
336
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,816
That's how we know the British
monarchy was replaced by weasels.
337
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,016
No, it's fine. I have to say,
it's lovely to be included.
338
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,736
Game on!
339
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:48,896
See what you've got.
340
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,960
Julian, serve! Bring it!
341
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,400
Adrenaline
342
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,640
Fie!
343
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,160
Whoaaaaa!
344
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,080
Yeah!
345
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,440
Whoa!
346
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,880
Hello, Alison.
347
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,896
Oh! Ohhh! You found me!
348
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,416
Oh, I found...
Oh, you're playing, too!
349
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,456
I don't know... Yes!
350
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,416
No-one has ever found me before,
ever!
351
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,416
You're so good at this. Thank you.
352
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:58,016
Right, your turn to hide.
I'll count, you hide, and I'll seek.
353
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,616
OK... One...! Oh, it's numbers!
Two...
354
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,600
Oh, no, it's numbers! Three...
355
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:14,376
Ohhh! Ooh! Oh!
356
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,136
Fanny! Fanny!
357
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,736
Oh! Oh, Captain!
Fanny, are you quite all right?
358
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,040
No. No, I find myself
having a, er...
359
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,976
..a conniption fit. Good Lord!
360
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,016
Er, er, I have become...
attracted to someone.
361
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,696
Well, Fanny,
I, er... I'm very flattered, er,
362
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,896
but I've got a lot of problems
of my own at the moment...
363
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,736
Oh, good heavens, no!
364
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,456
No? Not you!
365
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,896
No, no, no. Never you! Yeah...
366
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,096
No, I-I... cannot say who.
367
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,096
But I know not what to do.
368
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,856
Now, steady, Fanny,
steady the buffs.
369
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,576
Now, look here,
nothing good will come of it.
370
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,496
You must take that emotion
and you must bury it.
371
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,080
Never let it out.
372
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,840
No more, Fanny, no more. Wha...?!
373
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,560
Ooh! Oh!
374
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,320
Any luck? Just can't move...
375
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,416
THUD Argh!
376
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,000
It's pointless!
377
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,376
That was my favourite toe!
You have a favourite toe?
378
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,080
Don't you have a favourite toe? I've
not really thought about it, Mike.
379
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,736
No, no, not fair.
The head was out. By a nose!
380
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,536
What?! Tell them, Humphrey.
381
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,976
Oh, don't ask me. I'm just happy
to be part of the game.
382
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,976
I feel so alive! LAUGHS
383
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,616
Right, well, as the judge here...
384
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,176
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
let's listen to the judge.
385
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,720
Let's listen to the man.
386
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,336
What? Lone gunman? Do me favour!
387
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,936
And Paul McCartney died in 1966.
388
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:22,696
I know it. Don't even get me started
on the so-called "moonah landings".
389
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,296
Whooo! Sorry!
390
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,096
Don't worry. It's quite a nice view.
391
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,456
Ha, ha, found you! Ohhh!
392
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,056
How wonderful!
393
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,456
Now, erm, you hide
and I'll counting.
394
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,216
Yes. No peeking! No, no peeking.
395
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,640
One... two...
396
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,696
..three... four...
397
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:52,136
Oh, I'm so done with this. No. No.
398
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,416
You know what? ..14...
399
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,016
We've cleared loads.
I'll get rid of the garden waste
400
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,600
and we'll make the best of it. Huh?
401
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,616
Yeah. Alison!
402
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,576
There is something I must confess.
403
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,536
It is a matter of moral rectitude,
and I can hold it in no longer.
404
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,896
Open your eyes!
405
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,976
Next, you'll be telling me
gravity doesn't exist!
406
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,856
Well, you can't see it.
How do you know?
407
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,296
Alison, could you explain to Robin
that the moon landings were real?
408
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,440
The moon landings!
You cannot be serious.
409
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,440
..97... 98...
410
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,376
..99... 100!
411
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,840
Oh. Ah...
412
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,136
What the bally hell
do you think you're playing at?
413
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,376
Alison! Get away from there!
414
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,560
Get down! Get right out of the way.
It's going to blow!
415
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:44,776
It's a bomb!
416
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,576
Mike, Mike, get back! Just get back!
417
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,696
Go!
418
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,640
Get d-o-o-own!
419
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,760
Captain?
420
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,056
Oh.
421
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,000
Yeah, maybe you right about gravity.
422
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,736
Now, I realise that
was an utterly futile gesture,
423
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,616
but I was very much caught up
in the moment.
424
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,336
Wh... what the hell was that?
425
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,456
Er, I was very clear, Alison.
426
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,176
What? I didn't think you meant
literally explosive!
427
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,776
I thought you meant, like,
it was scandalous. No!
428
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,416
It was a prototype limpet mine.
429
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,456
It was so secret
that only I knew about it
430
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,336
and my second-in-command Lieutenant
Havers, but... he left me.
431
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,056
I mean, he left for the front.
432
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,616
So, er, I had to bury it on my own,
along with the blueprints.
433
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,760
Operation William, it was called.
434
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,496
Oh, that's Martin.
435
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,896
That was a ghost thing? Yeah.
436
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,816
Maybe next time tell me
if it's a bomb!
437
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,256
I didn't know!
438
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,936
OK, I'll stall Clare and Martin
in the house and you just...
439
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,720
Oh, you just do what you can.
440
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,456
Yeah. Actually,
a very clever little device,
441
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,456
a cunning timing mechanism
in the housing
442
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,496
allowed the frogmen
to exfiltrate safely.
443
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,616
Anyway...
444
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,616
They've gone, haven't they? Good!
445
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:10,416
Go on. Ah, Robin. Now, so,
they had four suckers... Suckers.
446
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,976
..and they attached the limpet mine
underneath the waterline... Oh!
447
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,080
..blew a hole in the boat
and, then, of course, the boat sank.
448
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,776
..and this is the main common room.
Again.
449
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,896
Erm, we thought...
It is really nice, but can we...?
450
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,216
Did... did you want to see
the library? Again?
451
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,000
I'd really love to see the garden.
452
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,496
Now... Claire, I... I need you
to keep an open mind.
453
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,056
We know that the rest of the house
can be dressed, um,
454
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,200
and we are working on the garden,
believe me. Erm...
455
00:24:58,360 --> 00:24:59,696
Redding weddy!
456
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,280
I love it!
457
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,280
CHUCKLES Great!
458
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:18,416
OK, so, really exciting
presentation tonight, guys.
459
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,336
As promised, Mary
is going to be giving a talk
460
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,216
about her witch trial.
461
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,456
No, sorry, no! I've had, erm,
a... a bit of a setback.
462
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:32,256
OK. OK, yeah, that's understandable,
isn't it, given the, erm...?
463
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:33,656
Sorry. Yes.
464
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,776
So, now, seeing as we technically
didn't finish the match,
465
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,216
I'm calling the volleyball game
a draw.
466
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,496
What? Are you on drugs?
No! I was ahead!
467
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,376
That's enough. That's absolutely
enough. I've had a bellyful!
468
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,976
Now, since we can't resolve this,
469
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,696
I've decided that I'm going
to choose the film tonight.
470
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,496
Is it Love Actually?
I love Love Actually, actually.
471
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,536
9 1/2 Weeks. The Notebook.
472
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,896
Please don't shout out, OK?
473
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,016
The film I've chosen
has something for everyone -
474
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,536
drama, visual poetry...
475
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,576
It's got some of your lot in it,
Robin.
476
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:07,640
Ooh! And... some pretty ladies
for Julian. Yeah!
477
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:15,200
It is, of course,
2001: A Space Odyssey.
478
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,736
Thanks, Pat.
You can be my wingman any time.
479
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,360
Bullshit, you can be mine.
480
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:25,720
It's from Top Gun.
481
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:29,440
Just here.
482
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,416
Ooh, that's got a kick to it, that.
483
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,696
OK. Mm. Mm!
484
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,816
What was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
485
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,096
Oh! No, just a passing fancy
is all, Alison.
486
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,336
Please don't trouble yourself.
487
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,256
Kitty, I'm sorry about Florence.
488
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,056
Oh, that's all right. I wasn't
really that fond of her, anyway.
489
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,096
You're a much better best friend
than she was.
490
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,696
Thanks, Kitty.
491
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,456
Wait. No, that not right.
492
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,136
What? Earth not round. It flat.
493
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,256
You what? It flat.
494
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,280
To our first wedding booking!
Cheers.
495
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,216
Here's to buried secrets.
496
00:27:23,064 --> 00:27:26,064
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