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1
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:19,551
Wooldoor: who's it gonna
be?! Who's it gonna be?!
2
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:21,053
Wheeeeee!
3
00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:23,122
Wooldoor:
the producers decided
to surprise one of us
4
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,990
With a visit from
a family member.
5
00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:26,191
I hope it's someone
from my family
6
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,493
Like flagfred cheesewheel,
7
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:30,262
Lintsue brickshade,
or prom-queen dumpsterbaby.
8
00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,197
[speaking japanese]
9
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,407
Look, everyone!
Someone's coming!
10
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,575
Clara: the second I saw
the horse and carriage,
11
00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:47,079
I just knew it had
to be someone from
my kingdom.
12
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,683
But when I saw it was
the short carriage,
my heart sank.
13
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,786
Why?! Why did she
have to come?!
14
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,588
Oh, fuck me.
15
00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:58,223
[garbled speech]
16
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:03,362
Um, everyone, this is
my special cousin bleh.
17
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,530
Foxxy: no one knew clara
18
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,132
Had a mentally-challenged
cousin, but it was cool.
19
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:10,269
The foxxy five used to perform
for special needs kids,
20
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:14,306
And those people got
hearts as big as they
oversized foreheads.
21
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:18,610
"I am sam is a well-written
and exceptionally well-acted
tearjerker,"
22
00:01:18,611 --> 00:01:21,213
Raves adam nayman
of eye weekly.
23
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:25,250
What the shoebazzle
was that?
24
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:29,755
She, um, only
quotes reviews from
the movie I am sam.
25
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,690
Huh?
Hmm.
26
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,525
Well, this has
been fun. Bye!
27
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:38,397
Well, i've never seen
someone that slow
go that fast.
28
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:40,132
Oh, yeah! Give it up!
29
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,066
Yeah!
30
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,639
[speaking japanese]
31
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:59,952
Oh, poor ling-ling.
He's so disappointed
his father didn't show.
32
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,387
Oh!
33
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:04,590
Oh, sweetie,
i'm so sorry your
father's not coming.
34
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:08,127
We still love ya!
Don't we, toot?!
35
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,963
Fine!
36
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,197
[kiss]
37
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:16,035
Ling-ling,
you taste so weird.
38
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,204
[giggling]
39
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:21,140
[giggling]
40
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:25,177
Let's go, bleh.
The coast is clear.
41
00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:27,746
But after this,
no more potty breaks.
42
00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:30,082
"I am sam plays like
a made-for-tv weep--"
43
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,316
Shh!
44
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,786
I know it seemed
like I was ashamed
of my cousin,
45
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,921
But nothing could be
further from the truth.
46
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:39,591
Aah!
Foxxy:
hey, clara!
47
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:41,060
What's up, girlfriend?
48
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,062
You know,
none of us have
really had a chance
49
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,763
To hang out
with bleh yet.
50
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:47,232
Bleh? What's a bleh?
51
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,835
Is that one of your
jive words like
"emancipation"?
52
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,603
No, bleh your cousin.
53
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:55,808
Uh, clara?
Why is the lamp drooling?
54
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:59,044
I guess to remind us
to conserve electricity.
55
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:03,248
Clara, there is
no reason to be
embarrassed by your cousin.
56
00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:06,085
Embarrassed?
I'm not embarrassed.
57
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:09,321
Stop pretending
bleh is a lamp.
58
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,824
She is not a lamp,
clara.
59
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:15,160
She is a real person
with real feelings.
60
00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,096
Foxxy was probably right.
61
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,864
Damn that ms. Know-it-all!
62
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,400
I should have killed her
when I had the chance.
63
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,835
Give me your hand!
64
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,603
First, give me the ring!
65
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:27,206
[kisses]
66
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,208
Xandir:
it just didn't make sense.
67
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,709
When we licked ling-ling
last time,
68
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:31,877
We got all [bleep]ed up.
69
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,479
But this time, nothing happened.
70
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,047
Well, we got a little aroused,
71
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,982
But not [bleep]ed up.
72
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,517
Uhh! What's the deal-e-o?
73
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,085
I don't feel
anything. You?
74
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,086
Nothing.
75
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:42,755
[kisses]
76
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,858
Hmm. Maybe we have to
eat ling-ling.
77
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,326
Why is it when
something doesn't work,
78
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,228
Your first reaction
is to eat it?
79
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,631
What?! What
are you doing?
80
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,067
I couldn't find
the remote.
81
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,735
You know,
there is one person
82
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,203
Who can figure this out.
83
00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,705
The professor!
The professor!
84
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,674
[hums]
85
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:02,675
Ooh!
86
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:03,876
Aha!
[whistle blows]
87
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,577
Got it.
Hit the lights.
88
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,717
Here you see
the african camel toad.
89
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,118
It secretes
a hallucinogen
90
00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:14,153
Whenever it's scared.
91
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,320
Ahh!
92
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,423
Yeah, that's--oh,
I didn't know that.
93
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:21,360
When "cool" kids feel
like catching a "buzz,"
94
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:25,064
They scare the amphibian
and then lick its skin.
95
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,166
All the cool kids,
you say?
96
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:31,036
Now take ling-ling,
the asian trading card
battle monster.
97
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:32,638
It creates a similar
hallucinogen
98
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,807
Whenever it's
disappointed.
99
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,443
Ahh!
Oh, I want to
be cool!
100
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,946
So, ling-ling
was experiencing
disappointment
101
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,614
Due to its
father's absence,
102
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,183
Then, upon kissing
ling-ling,
103
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:47,186
You became...[wacky
noises] technically
speaking.
104
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:53,692
So, only when ling-ling
is disappointed, eh? Hmm.
105
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:59,932
[screaming]
[alarm]
[siren]
106
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,067
[bagpipes playing]
107
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,635
[harps playing]
108
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,938
[crickets chirping]
109
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:09,942
Oh! Don't look,
but corky at 3:00.
110
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:13,045
Foxxy: it looked like I got
through to the princess.
111
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,881
Clara would see that
there ain't no reason
to be ashamed of bleh.
112
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,316
We all adults.
113
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,985
Dude, let's egg
the trainable.
114
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,854
Mind if we
join you guys?
115
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,189
No, no, no.
Of course not.
116
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,891
Don't be stupid.
117
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:28,027
[both snicker]
118
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,543
[eggshells crack]
119
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:52,217
Man, clara's cousin
is so hot!
120
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:55,454
Damn! She's like
retarded hot!
121
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,595
[whimpers] sam! Aah!
122
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:06,365
Clara: i'm really glad
I brought bleh
123
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,367
Down to hang out
with everyone.
124
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,803
They treated her
like she was one
of the gang.
125
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,771
I hadn't seen bleh
have this much fun
126
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:15,207
Since they cancelled
the pretty, shiny
object show.
127
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,210
You sure you don't
want to stay and
play a few rounds?
128
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,280
Nah, it's getting late,
and we don't want to
intrude on guy time.
129
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,648
'night!
130
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:25,751
"I am sam works magic
'cause of penn,"
131
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:28,153
Raves lou lumenick
of the new york post.
132
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:30,022
I go first.
Whee!
133
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,291
Holy shit!
134
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:34,293
She is so hot!
135
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,161
Oh, spanky.
136
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:38,564
What? Oh. Ok.
137
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,498
[kiss]
138
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,568
Oh, that bleh, man.
139
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,037
I would totally dip
my wick in that.
140
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,906
Listen, dude. No matter
how hot she is,
141
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,009
You would not
punch holes in a sped.
142
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,210
Oh, hell,
yeah, I would.
143
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,544
I mean, she's
the perfect girl.
144
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,480
All the sweater meat
of a regular chick
145
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,181
And half
the pillow talk.
146
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,752
[kiss]
147
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,987
Man, you're all talk.
148
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:04,757
Look, I got 20 large
that says you won't
sleep with her.
149
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,659
Make it 50
and you're on.
150
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,262
Oh, ha ha!
Wheeeeeee!
151
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,198
Hey, if you're gonna
be gay about this,
you can't play.
152
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,333
Sorry.
153
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,635
[kiss]
154
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:20,205
Fine. 50 bucks says you
won't have sex with bleh.
155
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,207
Easy money.
156
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,076
Captain hero is
gonna show you guys
157
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,679
What being a real man
is all about.
158
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,681
All: triple kiss!
159
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,516
[kisses]
160
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:41,293
[snarls]
161
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,228
[speaking japanese]
162
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:52,571
¶ ling-ling
into battle go ¶
163
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:55,140
¶ fulfill destiny
of the soul ¶
164
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,542
¶ all the children sing ¶
165
00:07:56,543 --> 00:08:00,045
Kids: ¶ kill,
kill, kill, kill,
die, die, die ¶
166
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,580
¶ kill, kill,
kill, kill... ¶
167
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,583
Wait, ling-ling.
It's just us.
168
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:08,087
We're not really
a 3-headed, acid-spitting
needle monster.
169
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:11,190
[speaking japanese]
170
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,825
Oh.
171
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,960
Oh, no, ling-ling.
172
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,228
Instead of
cheering you up,
173
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:21,367
We accidentally
disappointed you.
174
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,069
Oh, poor baby.
175
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,471
Triple kiss!
176
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:27,373
Oh! Hee hee!
[kisses]
177
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:31,310
[sighing and giggling]
178
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,585
[knocks]
179
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,420
Clara:
I found it a bit odd
180
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:44,023
That captain hero
wanted to take bleh
out on a date,
181
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,691
And it was
my responsibility
182
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,127
To make sure his
intentions were pure.
183
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,329
So, captain hero, is it?
184
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,464
Oh. Heh heh! Yeah?
185
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,966
Coming to take
my little bleh out
186
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,634
For a night
on the town, eh?
187
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,770
You know, I don't
know what'd I do
188
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,805
If anything happened
to my little bleh.
189
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,341
Yes, ma'am.
I mean, no, ma'am.
190
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,943
Son, do you know
what it's like
191
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:08,147
To kill a man with
your bare hands?
192
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,748
I do.
193
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:10,883
I...
194
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,151
Oh!
195
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,986
Here's bleh now!
196
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,155
¶ there she is... ¶
197
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:19,825
Wow! You look...
Stunning.
198
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:25,497
"I am sam's dakota
fanning is worth the
price of admission."
199
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,700
[blow dart]
200
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,501
Ow! What the hell?!
201
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,904
A little
added protection.
202
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,807
You'll get the antidote
when I get my bleh back.
203
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:39,311
[all giggling]
204
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:42,748
Hey, ling-ling,
you excited for
christmas?
205
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,317
Too bad there's
no such thing
as santa claus!
206
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,985
I bet you're
disappointed.
207
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,153
Oh.
208
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,889
[laughs]
209
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:53,659
Hey, look what
I found in your ear!
210
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,427
Is it a quarter?
211
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,330
Oh, no!
It's a tumor!
212
00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,765
Oh.
213
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,601
[slurps]
214
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,370
[giggles]
215
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:09,008
Hey, ling-ling,
you excited for
christmas?
216
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,443
Oh, no!
It's a tumor!
217
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,845
Oh.
218
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:16,181
[slurps]
219
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:19,418
¶ girly, girly,
girly, girly... ¶
220
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:23,689
[bleh shouts happily
and incoherently]
221
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,357
Captain hero:
yes, I was confident
222
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,327
That by the end of the
night, i'd have another
notch on my utility belt
223
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,095
And 50 bucks in my pocket.
224
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:33,565
Then I realized
something. Bleh...
225
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,034
She was really special,
226
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,635
But not like in
a retarded way,
227
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,004
In a traditionally
special way.
228
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:44,943
¶ did you ever know
that you're my hero? ¶
229
00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:46,245
Oh!
230
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,546
Ok!
231
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:53,352
¶ you're everything
I wish I could be ¶
232
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:56,088
¶ I could fly higher
than an eagle ¶
233
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,556
[both giggle]
234
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,558
Sam.
235
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,761
I don't like
these things.
They scare me!
236
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:05,631
¶ beneath my wings ¶
237
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:09,468
Eeeeeeh! Aah! Sam!
¶ oh, oh, fly ¶
238
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:14,340
¶ so high
against the sky ¶
239
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,942
¶ so high I almost... ¶
240
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,646
Bleh, you are the wind
beneath my wings.
241
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,681
"contrived, manipulative,
242
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:28,721
And shamelessly
sentimental," raves peter
travers from rolling stone.
243
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:37,596
Hey, ling-ling,
I got a penny.
No, I don't.
244
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:39,198
[licks dry fur]
245
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,866
[rattles]
246
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:41,867
[bam bam]
247
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,702
[licks dry fur]
248
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,138
Whoa, guys. Guys!
249
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,840
Ling-ling is
totally kicked!
250
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:48,841
What?!
251
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,209
[pants]
252
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,978
[licks dry fur]
253
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:54,747
Don't hold out
on me, man.
254
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:57,449
I need my fix.
Come on! Please,
man, come on!
255
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,618
What do you want?
I'll do anything!
256
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,253
I'll suck your dick!
257
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,556
Ooh! Ooh, sam!
258
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:05,991
Hee hee!
Shh!
259
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,861
Are you crazy?
They'll hear us!
260
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,764
Captain hero:
bleh and I got home way
past midnight.
261
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:15,701
I was like, we are gonna
get in so much trouble!
262
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:19,672
So, this was
really fantastic.
263
00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:23,842
Um, I,
uh...Good night.
264
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:24,777
[kiss]
265
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,513
¶ girly, girly,
girly, girly... ¶
266
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,415
Ahh!
267
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,951
Hey, super stud.
Did you sleep
with her?
268
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,453
Dude, back off!
269
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,922
I did not, as you
so crudely put it...
270
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,857
"nail her
in the stink tube."
271
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:40,592
It's not like that.
272
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,961
So you kids are
taking it slow?
273
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:43,996
See what I did
there? I--
274
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,998
You just don't get it,
spanky.
275
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,299
Nobody gets it!
276
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,467
[wails]
277
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,069
[door slams]
278
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,470
Captain hero:
I was lying in bed,
279
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,273
Replaying the date over
and over in my head,
280
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,842
When there was a knock
at the door.
[knocks]
281
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:57,776
Who's there?
282
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,080
Bleh! What are you--
283
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,983
Listen, bleh,
i'm not that kind of guy.
284
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:05,984
[pulls pants down]
285
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:08,153
Oh, my!
286
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:12,057
Oh, no, no, no...
287
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,293
Leave the helmet on.
288
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,697
Ahh.
289
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:21,433
Clara: that morning,
I woke up feeling great.
290
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,269
Everyone had accepted
me and my cousin,
291
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,971
And that was swell.
292
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,875
Oh, what a glorious day,
isn't it, bleh?
293
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,877
Bleh?
294
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,612
Bleh?!
295
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:37,683
Captain hero!
Clara, it's not
what you think!
296
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:38,684
[gibberish]
297
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,552
Get up! Get up
right now!
298
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,856
"I am sam reduces penn to
a mugging embarrassment,"
299
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:46,091
Raves mike clark
of usa today.
300
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:47,860
I don't care.
Let's go!
301
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,561
Yeeeh...
302
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:52,297
Go back to your
cage right now!
303
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:55,434
Spanky: well,
look who's doing
the limp of shame!
304
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,169
You bastard!
305
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,338
Captain hero:
clara totally overreacted.
306
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,639
I mean, bleh was an adult,
307
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,374
And completely capable
of making her own decisions.
308
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,809
Or not.
309
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,945
Still, I needed to
sit clara down and
explain what happened.
310
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,948
Clara, I never expected
this to happen.
311
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:14,720
It's just that I have
real feelings for her.
312
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,389
Well...
313
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:20,025
¶ there she is ¶
314
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,295
¶ she's a girl ¶
315
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,497
If that is the truth--
316
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,932
It is.
317
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,967
Then i'm truly happy
for the two of you.
318
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:31,170
You're a good man,
captain hero.
319
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,005
I knew I could
trust you.
320
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,107
Here's the antidote.
321
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,342
[gulp]
322
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,977
Well, nice work,
captain hero.
323
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,980
Here's the $50
I bet you to have
sex with bleh.
324
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:42,981
[gasps]
325
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,049
Yeeeeeh!
326
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,184
Oh, um, I mean, uh...
327
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:49,655
Here is the $50
captain hero won off me
328
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,291
Because I bet him
he would not have sex
329
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,926
With your
special cousin bleh.
330
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,128
But he did, in fact,
have sex with her.
331
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,564
Oh, yes, he did.
For $50.
332
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,133
Oh, man. Saved it.
333
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:07,539
Captain hero, I forbid you
to see my cousin ever again!
334
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:08,774
Uhh!
335
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,676
I would have been
more pissed at spanky,
336
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,679
But you know,
I just won $50!
337
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,382
[cash register bell]
ah! Who's your daddy?
338
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:19,485
Ooh, I like the big one
and that one over there
339
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,986
And...Ooh!
340
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:25,057
Yeah. Hell, yeah!
[girls talking and laughing]
341
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,925
Ehhhh.
342
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,394
Ehhhh.
343
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,362
Ehhhh.
344
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,164
Oh, look at
poor ling-ling.
345
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,932
We've licked
the life out of it.
346
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,234
What should we do?
347
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,235
Poke it harder.
348
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,236
Uhh!
349
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,237
[gasps]
350
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,571
Look at me!
351
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:42,608
I've become the very
thing I hate most.
352
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,576
A guy who pokes things
with sticks?
353
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:49,181
Oh, we've abused ling-ling
to the point where the
little guy is just numb.
354
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:50,649
And for what?
355
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,551
To catch a buzz?!
356
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:55,654
I guess being cool
just isn't worth it.
357
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:59,024
["what you already know"
jingle plays]
358
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:01,293
Come on. We've got to
make this right!
359
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,396
Sorry, wooldoor.
You stay here
360
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,899
Until all that ling-ling
is out of your system.
361
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,135
It's gonna be
the hardest thing
you've ever done.
362
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,136
Toodles!
363
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,405
[slam]
364
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,474
Aah! I can't take it!
365
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,477
[wacky noises]
366
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:24,416
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Wooldoor: I can't take it!
367
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,285
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
368
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:29,154
Captain hero:
oh, sure, the money
helped dull the pain,
369
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:33,692
But later, you know, when
the stores are all closed,
370
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,294
Who do I have
to share it with?
371
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:41,433
Bleh? No. Not anymore.
Not anymore.
372
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,635
It just wasn't
worth it, spanky!
373
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:46,705
Bleh, she--
she was special.
374
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,807
What are you--
what are you saying?
375
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:52,678
Oh, spanky,
I love her.
376
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:59,018
Then go to her.
377
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,719
Xandir:
we knew what we had done
to ling-ling was wrong.
378
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,488
Hopefully, this was gonna
379
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,622
Make it up to that lovable,
380
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:06,258
Fortune cookie cat thing.
381
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:11,096
Ling-ling, there's
a special warrior
here to see you.
382
00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:15,567
[japanese song playing]
383
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,503
[speaking japanese]
384
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,674
[speaking japanese]
385
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,654
Toot:
sure, we have our issues,
386
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:39,224
But really, this is
a house drawn together
387
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,659
With love.
388
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,595
[speaking japanese]
389
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,753
Yah!
Uhh!
390
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,189
[slurping]
391
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,991
All right, clara,
where is she?!
392
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,828
Hah! You're too late,
captain jerko!
393
00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:18,630
She left for the front door
well over 2 minutes ago!
394
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,066
You'll never catch her!
Never!
395
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,202
Oh. Oh, well.
396
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,903
I guess it wasn't
meant to be.
397
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,939
Easy come, easy go.
398
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,807
Well, i'll be
seeing you, clara.
399
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,143
Wait! Damn you!
I've got to try!
400
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,578
Yahh!
401
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,448
Captain hero: bleh!
Wait! I'm coming!
402
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,950
Dude, where are you--uhh!
403
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,518
Watch it, pig!
404
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,086
Go get her, man.
405
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,087
Uhh!
406
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,355
Watch it,
hot black girl!
407
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,157
Go get her, man.
408
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:49,895
[muzak playing]
409
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:56,168
[blissful sighs and moans]
410
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,770
Oh, come on!
411
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:05,444
Bleh! Bleh!
Bleh! Bleh!
412
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,812
Oh.
413
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,747
Bleh! Bleh, wait!
414
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,350
Listen, I don't know
what clara told you,
415
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:14,453
But I love you.
416
00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:16,555
Yehhhhhhhh.
417
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,192
[splat]
418
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,127
"one of the year's
10 best!"
419
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:25,631
"delivers in ways
you never expected!"
420
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:29,134
Yes, well, maybe
it wouldn't work out.
421
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,637
I mean, we come
from different worlds.
422
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,772
I come from
planet zebulon
423
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:36,909
And you come from
a mom who drank when
she was pregnant.
424
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:40,446
Well, farewell,
my sweet.
425
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:41,947
Mwah!
426
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,983
Mnnnh deh
nnnh.
427
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,186
Yeah! She kissed him!
428
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,488
She kissed him!
429
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,657
Ha ha! Ha ha!
430
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:55,994
Bleh, you nailed
the dry-mouth
from reality tv show!
431
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:59,264
Well, I guess I owe you
that 50 bucks now.
432
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:02,801
Oh! 50 bucks! Yeah!
433
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:06,438
[cash register bell]
ooh, yeah,
who's your daddy?
434
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:09,908
I like the big one
and I like the one
over there. Ooh!
435
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:13,245
Yeah. Hell, yeah!
[girls talking and laughing]
436
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,880
Bleh: sam, bye-bye!
437
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,048
Bye-bye, sam!
438
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,150
[choked up] bye.
439
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,854
Good-bye.
440
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,823
You ok, man?
441
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:28,560
I...Don't know
if i'll ever be ok.
442
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,062
Yeah, i'm sorry.
443
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,031
Hey, you want to go
grab a beer,
444
00:20:32,032 --> 00:20:34,533
Spin it, and kiss
whoever it points to?
445
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:39,271
No. Not now, spanky.
Not now.
446
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:44,543
How about now?
447
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:45,811
Yeah. Ok.
448
00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:51,550
¶ girly, girly,
girly, girly girl ¶
449
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,052
¶ girl ¶
450
00:20:53,053 --> 00:20:55,954
¶ girly, girly girl-- ¶
30600
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