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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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00:00:02,367 --> 00:00:04,244
Mary Cooper...
3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,548
I want to sex you up.
4
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,386
I have good news.
5
00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:11,720
Good. I could use it.
6
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,098
I got a job
at the bowling alley.
7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,518
Working with Brenda?
8
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:18,519
Every day.
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00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,105
I am so sorry
about today.
10
00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,856
I just hate to
see you walk away
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00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,358
from the Lord.
Feels like
12
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,276
He's walking away from me.
13
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:34,785
What is that?
14
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,120
Hamburger Helper.
15
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,080
It's official.
We're poor.
16
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We're not poor.
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There's hamburger in there.
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00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,793
There's hamburger
in there, right?
19
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,795
I like Hamburger Helper.
20
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,797
It really does help your
hamburger make a great meal.
21
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,090
Well, it's a good thing
you like it,
22
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,717
'cause you're definitely poor.
23
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,552
Like us.
We're fine.
24
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,554
Actually...
Just eat.
25
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,723
Do we still say grace?
Why not?
26
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,308
Mom's been taking a break
from the church. Mom?
27
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,894
Well, I hadn't really
thought about it.
28
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,438
We can if you want to.
29
00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:03,522
Let's not.
30
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,773
As meaningless as it is,
31
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,358
I do find the ritual comforting.
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00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,819
Well, somebody make a decision.
That slop's getting cold.
33
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,405
No, it's good cold or hot,
like Grape-Nuts.
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00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,573
Ooh, can I say it?
35
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Sure.
36
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,912
Bless us Lord for the food
we are about to receive
37
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,664
and bless the hands
that prepared it.
38
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,459
And let me have a good
hair day for school pictures
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00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:24,918
later this week.
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00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,171
Let's see, what else
do I want...
Wrap it up.
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00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:29,131
And please let my dad
find a full-time job
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00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:30,674
before we lose cable. Amen.
43
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:31,925
Amen.
44
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,970
โช Nobody else
is stronger than I am โช
45
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โช Yesterday I moved a mountain โช
46
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โช I bet I could be your hero โช
47
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โช I am a mighty little man โช
48
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โช I am a mighty little man. โช
49
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,035
So...
50
00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,745
how's it going
with this whole
51
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,580
no church thing?
52
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,749
It's a little weird,
53
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,459
but I'm figuring it out.
54
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,169
Think you might go back?
55
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,797
I don't know yet.
56
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,298
Maybe find a different church?
57
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,759
I don't know, George.
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00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,679
I'm gonna get a beer.
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00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,806
You, uh,
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00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,057
care to join me
61
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,433
like the good ol' days?
62
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,185
Just 'cause
I'm not going to church
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00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,312
doesn't mean
I'm suddenly a drinker.
64
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,647
Okay. Well, then I guess
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00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,607
me and my friends
will say goodnight.
66
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:32,653
We need to talk.
67
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,862
About what?
68
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,824
You do their taxes.
How bad off are we?
69
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,408
Based on their part-time income,
70
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,077
we're going to run out of money
by the end of the year.
71
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,412
Before or after Christmas?
Before.
72
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,331
Not what I wanted to hear.
73
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,918
Anything we can do to help?
74
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,920
Perhaps we could sell our stuff.
75
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,421
But I like my stuff.
76
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,798
I like my stuff, too.
77
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,675
Let's keep thinking.
78
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:01,849
Hello?
79
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,851
Connie. Grant Linkletter.
80
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,686
Hello, Grant.
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00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,479
What can I do for you?
82
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,690
Well, I looked at my calendar
and realized it's been six weeks
83
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,441
since I last asked you out, so
84
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,693
I thought I'd give it
another shot.
85
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,028
You ask me out every six weeks?
86
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,240
Used to be nine, but
we're not getting any younger.
87
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,702
I'll tell you what...
88
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:22,703
fine.
89
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,580
Really?
Why not?
90
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,831
Excellent.
91
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,332
But I want to be clear,
92
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,585
this is just one of those--
whatcha call it--
93
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,503
uh, platonic things.
94
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:32,838
We're just having dinner.
95
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,131
I'll take it.
96
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,883
Now, would you prefer
a restaurant
97
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,551
or some good home cooking?
98
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,052
I make seven kinds of soup.
99
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,804
I think I'll just stick
with a restaurant.
100
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:41,805
Fair enough,
101
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:42,890
but one day,
102
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:43,765
you'll try my mushroom barley,
103
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,893
and your taste buds will swoon.
104
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:46,852
Good night, Grant.
105
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:47,853
The secret is how long
106
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,146
I cook the onions.
107
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,406
Chicken coop, now.
108
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,786
Hi.
109
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,079
What are we doing?
110
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,831
What are you doing?
111
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,082
What, you hired Mary
112
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,751
to work at the
bowling alley.
113
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,003
She needed a job.
114
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,421
I was being nice.
115
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,881
Well, you don't think
it's a little weird?
116
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,508
This right here--
117
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,885
it's all weird.
118
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,012
Are you drunk?
119
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,306
Not nearly enough.
120
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:27,351
You and Mary working together
is a bad idea considering...
121
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,811
you know,
you and me.
122
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,438
We haven't done
anything, George.
123
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,440
But there was considering.
You know there was.
124
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,943
What do you want me to do?
125
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:36,902
You want me to fire her?
126
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:39,446
No, no.
That'd be weird.
127
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:43,158
Which is exactly
where we started. Good night.
128
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,958
You understand what I'm saying.
129
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,462
Okay, so what are you good at?
130
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,964
I'm popular.
131
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,215
That is not a skill.
132
00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:00,133
You can't do it. Fine.
133
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,052
Oh, you could go on Jeopardy!
134
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,763
Never. I don't like answers
in the form of questions.
135
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,057
I like my answers in the form
of answers, and my questions
136
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,558
in the form of
questions, thank you.
137
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:10,811
Ooh, perhaps I could
sell story ideas
138
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,354
to TV shows like Star Trek.
139
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,231
Do you really think
they'd listen to a kid?
140
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,649
My voice has gotten deeper.
141
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,025
The other day,
I answered the phone,
142
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,777
and they didn't
mistake me for Mom.
143
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,988
Star Trek's not gonna
buy your stupid ideas.
144
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:21,947
We'll see about that.
145
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:22,948
I have one where the Enterprise
146
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,157
falls into a time tunnel,
147
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,200
and Worf becomes a Worf
148
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,827
from 12 minutes in the future.
149
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,371
We could let people
punch you for a buck.
150
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,582
No, all our profit would just
go to medical expenses.
151
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,966
Hey, Brenda,
I was trying to
152
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,051
do the books for the quarter,
and I was having
153
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,720
a little trouble
making sense of it.
154
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:45,846
You know, Mary, if...
155
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,973
if it's too big
of a mess, and
156
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:51,018
you'd rather work
somewhere else, I'd understand.
157
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,061
No, I'll figure it out.
158
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,105
Great.
159
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,732
So happy you're here.
160
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:03,655
Hey, there.
161
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,699
Oh.
162
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,700
Hi, Mary.
163
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,203
Finally found an eight-pounder
that's not pink.
164
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,330
I didn't know you bowled.
165
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,833
I didn't know you did either.
166
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,044
Actually, I, um,
167
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,628
I work here now.
168
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,964
Oh, sure, okay.
169
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,090
I...
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00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,634
I'm so sorry
171
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,636
about how things
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00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,305
went down at church.
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00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,974
If it helps at all, the place
has gone to heck since you left.
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00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,018
Good.
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00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,023
I sure do miss working with you.
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00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,901
Well, we can still be friends,
177
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,736
even if we don't work together.
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00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:44,863
I'd like that.
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00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:47,032
You find a
kiddie ball yet?
180
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,242
It's not about
the weight, just...
181
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,161
I have small fingers.
182
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,914
Oh, uh, Mary,
this is Shannon.
183
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,040
Shannon, this is
184
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,167
Mary Cooper. Hi.
185
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,919
You used to be
Mary Tucker.
186
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,755
Oh, not in a long time.
187
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,964
You remember me?
188
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,758
Sorry, no.
189
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,095
Shannon Dixon.
You used to babysit me.
190
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,680
Is that so?
191
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,807
She was so great.
192
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,517
She would let me stay
up late and watch TV
193
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,477
while she would make out
with her boyfriend.
194
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,106
I don't...
remember any of that.
195
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,358
Oh, I'm not surprised. You used
to hit my dad's liquor cabinet
196
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,944
pretty hard.
Well, Mary Cooper.
197
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,114
I was... young
and hadn't found the Lord.
198
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,325
You two have a great time.
199
00:07:37,872 --> 00:07:39,467
Here's that invoice.
200
00:07:39,508 --> 00:07:41,242
Oh. Great.
201
00:07:41,476 --> 00:07:43,478
I see Pastor Rob's
here again.
202
00:07:43,478 --> 00:07:45,772
Oh, does, uh...
203
00:07:45,772 --> 00:07:48,143
does he come
here often?
204
00:07:48,152 --> 00:07:49,820
Not with that one.
205
00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:51,196
She's new.
206
00:07:51,616 --> 00:07:54,992
Well, good for him.
207
00:07:54,992 --> 00:07:57,327
Single, good-looking pastor.
208
00:07:57,327 --> 00:07:58,954
In a small town like this,
209
00:07:58,954 --> 00:08:00,747
he might as well
be Roger Staubach.
210
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:05,169
Oh, my God.
The Dallas Cowboys.
211
00:08:05,169 --> 00:08:07,004
Oh, sure, course.
212
00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,881
Um... hey,
if you need me,
213
00:08:08,881 --> 00:08:11,258
I'm gonna be in
the office doing...
214
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,968
office things.
215
00:08:19,224 --> 00:08:20,142
What are you doing here?
216
00:08:20,142 --> 00:08:21,810
I ran out of beer at home,
217
00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:23,604
didn't feel like
driving to the store.
218
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,064
Oh, so you just
waltz in and help yourself?
219
00:08:26,064 --> 00:08:28,108
'Bout sums it up.
220
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,110
I'm changing the locks.
221
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,613
Cheers.
222
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,160
So, how's my daughter doing?
223
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,870
Eh, she seems okay.
224
00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:41,663
Still trying to
figure things out.
225
00:08:41,663 --> 00:08:44,166
I got to be honest,
I'm not exactly upset
226
00:08:44,166 --> 00:08:46,126
about less religion
in the house.
227
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,212
I hear you.
228
00:08:48,212 --> 00:08:50,214
Although, Jesus
making her forgive me
229
00:08:50,214 --> 00:08:52,382
has come in handy
more than a few times.
230
00:08:55,219 --> 00:08:58,096
Then again,
I remember Mary before God
231
00:08:58,096 --> 00:08:59,515
got His mitts on her, and...
232
00:08:59,515 --> 00:09:02,184
...she was pretty wild.
233
00:09:02,184 --> 00:09:04,228
Don't have to tell me.
234
00:09:04,228 --> 00:09:05,479
I was the person
she was wild with.
235
00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:08,815
Oh, she was wild
long before she ever met you.
236
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,108
What do you mean?
237
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,905
Did you think that you were the
first person she was wild with?
238
00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:18,033
Well... yeah.
239
00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:25,047
And just when the Enterprise
is about to be
240
00:09:25,047 --> 00:09:26,549
assimilated by the Borg,
241
00:09:26,549 --> 00:09:29,886
another ship appears,
piloted by Wesley Crusher.
242
00:09:29,886 --> 00:09:31,846
Uh-huh.
It's surprising because
243
00:09:31,846 --> 00:09:33,681
Wesley Crusher left the show
years ago,
244
00:09:33,681 --> 00:09:34,765
so it's a big deal.
245
00:09:34,765 --> 00:09:35,850
If you say so.
246
00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:37,184
I have more. Commander Data...
247
00:09:37,184 --> 00:09:39,729
I'd like a reservation
for dinner.
248
00:09:39,729 --> 00:09:40,855
Yes, I'll hold.
249
00:09:40,855 --> 00:09:42,732
You want to do this over dinner?
Okay.
250
00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:44,984
I'm taking your grandmother
out tonight.
251
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,694
She didn't mention it to me.
252
00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:48,905
Maybe because
it doesn't concern you.
253
00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:50,406
My meemaw, my professor--
254
00:09:50,406 --> 00:09:53,075
who's in the middle
of that Venn diagram?
255
00:09:53,075 --> 00:09:54,911
Yes, two people at 8:00.
256
00:09:54,911 --> 00:09:56,871
8:00's a little late for Meemaw.
257
00:09:56,871 --> 00:09:58,706
What time does she like to eat?
258
00:09:58,706 --> 00:10:01,334
Well, she's old like you,
so 6:30 at the latest.
259
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,003
Can we make that 6:30?
Wonderful.
260
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,881
Hold on.
Does she like French food?
261
00:10:07,047 --> 00:10:10,092
I'll call you back.
262
00:10:10,092 --> 00:10:12,345
Anyway, Commander Data...
263
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,555
Let me ask you a question,
if this Commander Data
264
00:10:14,555 --> 00:10:17,767
were taking your meemaw out
for dinner, where would they go?
265
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:19,435
Almost certainly the holodeck.
266
00:10:19,435 --> 00:10:20,978
Sounds trendy.
267
00:10:20,978 --> 00:10:22,730
Is that in Houston?
268
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:27,526
Hello.
269
00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:28,945
What's up?
270
00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:30,738
I saw your "help wanted" sign.
271
00:10:30,738 --> 00:10:31,948
I'd like to help, please.
272
00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:32,907
How old are you?
273
00:10:32,907 --> 00:10:34,784
How old do I need to be?
274
00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:35,826
14.
275
00:10:35,826 --> 00:10:37,870
Do I not look 14?
276
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,789
I don't care. Perfect.
277
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:41,415
So, when do I start?
278
00:10:41,415 --> 00:10:43,960
All right, hold on, do
you even like comic books?
279
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:44,794
Yeah.
280
00:10:44,794 --> 00:10:46,003
What's your favorite?
281
00:10:47,338 --> 00:10:48,506
Um...
282
00:10:48,506 --> 00:10:50,883
And the cool thing
about the X-Men is not just
283
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:51,968
that they have superpowers,
but they act
284
00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:53,386
as a metaphor for outsiders...
285
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,930
...outsiders trying to find
their place in society.
286
00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:57,682
Who's your favorite?
287
00:10:57,682 --> 00:10:59,141
All of them.
288
00:11:00,476 --> 00:11:01,477
Mine, too.
289
00:11:01,477 --> 00:11:02,979
And I got the job.
290
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:04,230
You can't work
at the comic book store.
291
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,815
If anyone should work
at the comic book store,
292
00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:06,816
it should be me.
293
00:11:06,816 --> 00:11:08,067
Sorry, we're not hiring.
294
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,819
Do I at least get a discount?
295
00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:11,362
I do.
296
00:11:18,661 --> 00:11:20,830
Oh, hey, hi.
297
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:23,040
Oh... You okay?
298
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,459
Not really.
299
00:11:25,459 --> 00:11:28,671
It's been a...
rough couple of days.
300
00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:30,506
I'm sorry.
301
00:11:30,506 --> 00:11:31,799
Thank you.
302
00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:32,967
Makes you feel better,
303
00:11:32,967 --> 00:11:34,385
I've had a pretty good
couple of days,
304
00:11:34,385 --> 00:11:35,845
and I'm still gonna get drunk.
305
00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:39,390
Want to join me?
306
00:11:40,891 --> 00:11:42,059
Yes.
307
00:11:42,059 --> 00:11:43,894
That would be nice.
308
00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:45,104
More sad than nice,
309
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:47,314
but let's go. Okay.
310
00:11:51,221 --> 00:11:54,728
So... this is unexpected.
311
00:11:54,753 --> 00:11:56,429
Well, I know you
like margaritas,
so my first thought was
a Mexican restaurant.
312
00:11:56,429 --> 00:11:58,426
so my first thought was
a Mexican restaurant.
313
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,386
Good thought.
314
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,846
But I assumed
other men had come
315
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,097
to that same conclusion.
316
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:05,100
They have.
Which led me to
Polynesian fare.
317
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,018
I like to think
of the Mai Tai
318
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,813
as the margarita
of the South Pacific.
319
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:12,858
You don't do anything
on a whim, do you?
320
00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:14,651
Did once,
didn't like it.
321
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:18,905
I have an idea
322
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,948
for a Star Trek episode
323
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,241
I'd like to present to you.
324
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,701
Why me?
325
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:24,077
Because I'm hoping to sell it,
326
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,871
and since it's going to be
broadcast television,
327
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:28,039
I want to make sure the
common man can understand it.
328
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:30,500
Well, I understand
I was just insulted.
329
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,711
Excellent, I came
to the right common man.
330
00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,170
We start on
331
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,882
a gas giant in the vicinity
of Rigel IV,
332
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,258
then see a shuttlecraft,
333
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,469
a dot of silver against
the inky blackness of space.
334
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,846
Inside the shuttlecraft,
335
00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,307
we see Lieutenant Worf
struggling to breathe.
336
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,894
He's been infected by
a vicious intelligent fungus.
337
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,729
Where are you going?
I'm listening.
338
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,897
Cough, cough.
339
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,815
Worf is choking on spores,
340
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,358
but not just your
everyday spores,
341
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,860
these are spores with their own
342
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,278
evil agenda.
Uh-huh.
343
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,112
And, as he sinks
344
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,822
into a coma, a mysterious figure
345
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,157
in a spacesuit approaches.
346
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:04,159
He lowers the visor
of his helmet revealing...
347
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:05,911
Future Worf. Are you hooked?
348
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,579
Oh, yeah.
349
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:08,955
Main titles.
350
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,498
Cue theme song and
the soothing voice
351
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,501
of Patrick Stewart
as Captain Picard says...
352
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,796
"Space..."
353
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,008
"...the final frontier."
354
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,802
Who's Patrick Stewart?
355
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,307
Feeling better?
I'm fine,
356
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,601
just having
a little moment earlier.
357
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,769
Oh, yeah.
358
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:31,770
All right.
359
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,104
Mm.
360
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,439
Mmm.
361
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:40,153
Seems like running into
Pastor Rob kind of...
362
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,780
kind of rattled you
a little bit.
363
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,032
Oh, well...
364
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,160
I was asked to leave the church,
365
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,913
and he's still there, so...
366
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,957
it's still a little fresh. Mm.
367
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:54,376
Yeah, I get that.
368
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,795
Seems like a nice guy, though.
Oh, yeah,
369
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,046
he's great.
370
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,006
Cute as a button.
371
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,008
I guess.
372
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,552
I prefer a bigger man.
373
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,054
Like George?
374
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,932
Oh, yeah.
Bigger the better.
375
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,560
Deep within the Enterprise's
control room,
376
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,687
Future Worf says,
377
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,980
"I willingly sacrifice myself
378
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,481
for the good of this mission,"
379
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,274
then throws himself
into the warp core.
380
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,943
There's an explosion
of tachyons.
381
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:23,571
The Enterprise blasts free
of the gigantic field of fungus.
382
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,572
Fade out.
383
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,951
Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper.
384
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,870
What do you think?
385
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:35,041
If this Worf fella
was infected on the shuttles,
386
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,376
why would he come back
to the Enterprise
387
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,877
and put everyone else in danger?
388
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,797
Well...
389
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,800
My father found a flaw
in my story,
390
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,802
my sister had a job I envied.
391
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,304
It was a big day
for the common man.
392
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,598
But then I had an idea that,
393
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:53,059
like Future Worf,
was ahead of its time.
394
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,603
Missy.
What?
395
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:58,106
Why is a dollar
worth a dollar?
396
00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,941
Sheldon, I'm busy.
397
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,735
Me too. I've solved
all of our money problems.
398
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,862
I'm going to invent
my own digital currency.
399
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,613
Like, printing your own?
400
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,283
No. First, we assign value
to difficult-to-find numbers
401
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,826
and store them
in a computer database.
402
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,870
Then we create an algorithm
to mine the numbers,
403
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:14,039
then we encourage people
to switch from currencies
404
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,623
that are government-backed
to ours.
405
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,418
It's brilliant.
I'm going to be rich.
406
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,961
Speaking of,
407
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,881
did you know Batman
is also secretly a rich dude?
408
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:25,216
Or he lives in
a rich dude's basement.
409
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:26,968
I'm still figuring it out.
410
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,266
Oh, thank you,
tiki woman.
411
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,059
So...
412
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,852
what's going on at work?
413
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,729
I don't want to bore you
with science talk.
414
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,064
No, no, I'm interested.
415
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,858
Excellent. We're in a race
with the Finnish team to see
416
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,069
who can correct the
unification of the leptons.
417
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,863
As you can imagine, the
world waits anxiously
418
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,157
while we see who crosses
the finish line first.
419
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,576
So, the Finnish
may be at the finish line?
420
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,082
Oh, you're witty, too.
421
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,875
More cheese to bait the trap.
422
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,919
Maybe we should order dinner.
423
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,088
Nonsense,
there's food right here.
424
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,089
Pineapple,
425
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:06,341
prickly on the outside,
426
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,051
but beautiful inside,
427
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,178
just like you.
428
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,017
And you know that
Shannon girl...
429
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,060
With Pastor Rob?
430
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,604
She was a bedwetter.
431
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,773
Ten years old.
432
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:22,941
That's not normal.
433
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,275
Maybe he'll get
a fun little surprise
434
00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:25,568
on their honeymoon.
435
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:28,363
Oh, no, they're not
getting married.
436
00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:29,697
Well, how do you know?
437
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:30,949
I don't.
438
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:33,159
I just think he
could do better.
439
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,704
Mary Cooper.
440
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,498
Are you sweet on him?
441
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,208
No! What?
442
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:43,294
I am a married woman.
443
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:44,921
Happily.
444
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,173
Well, I was married once, too,
didn't stop me from looking.
445
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,967
Well, I'm not looking.
446
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:51,511
Where you going?
447
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,637
To dance.
448
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,097
I didn't think
you Baptists did that.
449
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,723
We don't drink, neither.
450
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,142
Ooh!
451
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,935
Look at me. Ooh!
Wow.
452
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,148
I'm pretty good.
453
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,399
Are you familiar
with the phrase,
454
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,734
"You need money to make money"?
No.
455
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,404
Well, it's a phrase,
and my clever twist on it is,
456
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:11,990
"I'm going to make money
to make money."
457
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,408
Mm-hmm.
458
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:14,826
Now, when I say "make money,"
you might think that
459
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,786
I'm talking about
counterfeiting, but no,
460
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,122
I'm talking about creating
a unique decentralized
461
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,166
digital currency
that people can pay to own.
462
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,333
Sounds like a scam.
463
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,252
No, it's an
open-source currency
464
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,421
that has value
due to mathematical scarcity.
465
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,131
Sounds pretty scammy.
466
00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,674
You don't understand.
467
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:30,884
I do.
468
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,427
You say a bunch
of fancy jibber-jabber,
469
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,761
people don't want to admit
470
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,096
they're too stupid
to understand,
471
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,055
then they give you their money.
472
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,558
Well... um... sort of.
473
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,768
Love it.
How do we get started?
474
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,438
Well, all we need
is a mainframe computer.
475
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:46,149
How much is that?
New, about
half a million dollars,
476
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,776
but I'm hoping to find
something slightly used.
477
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,863
Time will prove me right.
478
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,200
You're not gonna
believe this,
479
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,409
but I don't go on
a lot of dates.
480
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,702
No.
481
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,370
It's true.
482
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,456
Sure, I did okay as
a younger man, but
483
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,249
there was a war on and
484
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,043
most of the able-bodied
men were elsewhere.
485
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:07,212
So, you sowed some oats,
I get it.
486
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:08,296
A whole field of them.
487
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,173
I was the Johnny
Appleseed of oats.
488
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:11,216
Okay.
489
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,468
But here's the thing.
490
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,596
Once you put off matrimony
past a certain point,
491
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,390
women start to think of you
as... What's the word?
492
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:22,060
Creepy?
There it is.
493
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,811
And then along comes you,
494
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,480
my little
Texas firecracker,
495
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,898
playing the
game of life
496
00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:28,191
by her own set of rules.
497
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:31,611
I'm a firecracker,
I'm a pineapple...
498
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,737
Good for me.
499
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,822
Can I ask you
a personal question?
500
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:35,907
Oh, I wish you wouldn't.
501
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:36,950
How would you like
502
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,243
to make love to a man
503
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,203
who shook the hand
of Albert Einstein?
504
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,121
And... you did.
505
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,082
This one right here.
506
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:45,333
I didn't wash it for a week.
507
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,043
Not a selling point.
508
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,630
Excuse me for a moment.
509
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,633
I have to toss my cookies.
510
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,889
Hey.
511
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,224
Where you been?
512
00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:04,227
Brenda and I
went dancing.
513
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,187
You went dancing?
514
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:09,107
Yeah, and I'm
darn good at it.
515
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,483
Okay.
516
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,861
The kids asleep?
Yep.
517
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,657
You want to fool around?
518
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,118
Are you messing with me?
519
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:22,078
I'm hoping to.
520
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:25,513
Well, hot diggity dog.
521
00:19:30,622 --> 00:19:32,791
Welcome to King Kong Comics.
I'm Missy.
522
00:19:32,791 --> 00:19:34,459
If you have any questions,
please let me know.
523
00:19:34,459 --> 00:19:35,877
I don't have
any questions.
524
00:19:35,877 --> 00:19:37,462
I know more about
comic books than you do.
525
00:19:37,462 --> 00:19:39,756
Okay. What you
may not know is the new
526
00:19:39,756 --> 00:19:41,299
Green Lantern just came in.
527
00:19:42,175 --> 00:19:44,344
Also, if you like green things,
I recommend Green Arrow,
528
00:19:44,344 --> 00:19:46,554
and, of course, the Hulk.
His skin is green.
529
00:19:46,554 --> 00:19:48,348
I know that.
Everyone knows that.
530
00:19:48,348 --> 00:19:50,558
Uh-oh, are you gonna
smash things?
531
00:19:50,558 --> 00:19:52,352
That's something the Hulk does
when he gets upset.
532
00:19:52,352 --> 00:19:53,561
I'm not upset.
533
00:19:53,561 --> 00:19:55,105
Cool.
If you need something,
534
00:19:55,105 --> 00:19:57,482
I'll be at the front counter.
Where I work.
36126
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