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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,414 --> 00:00:02,342 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,367 --> 00:00:04,244 Mary Cooper... 3 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,548 I want to sex you up. 4 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,386 I have good news. 5 00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:11,720 Good. I could use it. 6 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,098 I got a job at the bowling alley. 7 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,518 Working with Brenda? 8 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:18,519 Every day. 9 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,105 I am so sorry about today. 10 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:22,856 I just hate to see you walk away 11 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,358 from the Lord. Feels like 12 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,276 He's walking away from me. 13 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:34,785 What is that? 14 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,120 Hamburger Helper. 15 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,080 It's official. We're poor. 16 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,665 We're not poor. 17 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,125 There's hamburger in there. 18 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,793 There's hamburger in there, right? 19 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,795 I like Hamburger Helper. 20 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,797 It really does help your hamburger make a great meal. 21 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,090 Well, it's a good thing you like it, 22 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,717 'cause you're definitely poor. 23 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,552 Like us. We're fine. 24 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,554 Actually... Just eat. 25 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,723 Do we still say grace? Why not? 26 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,308 Mom's been taking a break from the church. Mom? 27 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,894 Well, I hadn't really thought about it. 28 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,438 We can if you want to. 29 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:03,522 Let's not. 30 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,773 As meaningless as it is, 31 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,358 I do find the ritual comforting. 32 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,819 Well, somebody make a decision. That slop's getting cold. 33 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,405 No, it's good cold or hot, like Grape-Nuts. 34 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,573 Ooh, can I say it? 35 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,949 Sure. 36 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,912 Bless us Lord for the food we are about to receive 37 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,664 and bless the hands that prepared it. 38 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,459 And let me have a good hair day for school pictures 39 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:24,918 later this week. 40 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,171 Let's see, what else do I want... Wrap it up. 41 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:29,131 And please let my dad find a full-time job 42 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:30,674 before we lose cable. Amen. 43 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:31,925 Amen. 44 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,970 โ™ช Nobody else is stronger than I am โ™ช 45 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:37,765 โ™ช Yesterday I moved a mountain โ™ช 46 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,933 โ™ช I bet I could be your hero โ™ช 47 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,020 โ™ช I am a mighty little man โ™ช 48 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:46,648 โ™ช I am a mighty little man. โ™ช 49 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,035 So... 50 00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,745 how's it going with this whole 51 00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,580 no church thing? 52 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,749 It's a little weird, 53 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,459 but I'm figuring it out. 54 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,169 Think you might go back? 55 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,797 I don't know yet. 56 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,298 Maybe find a different church? 57 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,759 I don't know, George. 58 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,679 I'm gonna get a beer. 59 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,806 You, uh, 60 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,057 care to join me 61 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,433 like the good ol' days? 62 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,185 Just 'cause I'm not going to church 63 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,312 doesn't mean I'm suddenly a drinker. 64 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,647 Okay. Well, then I guess 65 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,607 me and my friends will say goodnight. 66 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:32,653 We need to talk. 67 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,862 About what? 68 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,824 You do their taxes. How bad off are we? 69 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,408 Based on their part-time income, 70 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,077 we're going to run out of money by the end of the year. 71 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,412 Before or after Christmas? Before. 72 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,331 Not what I wanted to hear. 73 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,918 Anything we can do to help? 74 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,920 Perhaps we could sell our stuff. 75 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,421 But I like my stuff. 76 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,798 I like my stuff, too. 77 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,675 Let's keep thinking. 78 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:01,849 Hello? 79 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,851 Connie. Grant Linkletter. 80 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,686 Hello, Grant. 81 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,479 What can I do for you? 82 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,690 Well, I looked at my calendar and realized it's been six weeks 83 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,441 since I last asked you out, so 84 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,693 I thought I'd give it another shot. 85 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,028 You ask me out every six weeks? 86 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,240 Used to be nine, but we're not getting any younger. 87 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,702 I'll tell you what... 88 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:22,703 fine. 89 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,580 Really? Why not? 90 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,831 Excellent. 91 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,332 But I want to be clear, 92 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,585 this is just one of those-- whatcha call it-- 93 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,503 uh, platonic things. 94 00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:32,838 We're just having dinner. 95 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,131 I'll take it. 96 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,883 Now, would you prefer a restaurant 97 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,551 or some good home cooking? 98 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,052 I make seven kinds of soup. 99 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,804 I think I'll just stick with a restaurant. 100 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:41,805 Fair enough, 101 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:42,890 but one day, 102 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:43,765 you'll try my mushroom barley, 103 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,893 and your taste buds will swoon. 104 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:46,852 Good night, Grant. 105 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:47,853 The secret is how long 106 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,146 I cook the onions. 107 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,406 Chicken coop, now. 108 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,786 Hi. 109 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,079 What are we doing? 110 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,831 What are you doing? 111 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,082 What, you hired Mary 112 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,751 to work at the bowling alley. 113 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,003 She needed a job. 114 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,421 I was being nice. 115 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,881 Well, you don't think it's a little weird? 116 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,508 This right here-- 117 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,885 it's all weird. 118 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,012 Are you drunk? 119 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,306 Not nearly enough. 120 00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:27,351 You and Mary working together is a bad idea considering... 121 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,811 you know, you and me. 122 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,438 We haven't done anything, George. 123 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,440 But there was considering. You know there was. 124 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,943 What do you want me to do? 125 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:36,902 You want me to fire her? 126 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:39,446 No, no. That'd be weird. 127 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:43,158 Which is exactly where we started. Good night. 128 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,958 You understand what I'm saying. 129 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,462 Okay, so what are you good at? 130 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,964 I'm popular. 131 00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,215 That is not a skill. 132 00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:00,133 You can't do it. Fine. 133 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,052 Oh, you could go on Jeopardy! 134 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,763 Never. I don't like answers in the form of questions. 135 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,057 I like my answers in the form of answers, and my questions 136 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,558 in the form of questions, thank you. 137 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:10,811 Ooh, perhaps I could sell story ideas 138 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,354 to TV shows like Star Trek. 139 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,231 Do you really think they'd listen to a kid? 140 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,649 My voice has gotten deeper. 141 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,025 The other day, I answered the phone, 142 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,777 and they didn't mistake me for Mom. 143 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,988 Star Trek's not gonna buy your stupid ideas. 144 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:21,947 We'll see about that. 145 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:22,948 I have one where the Enterprise 146 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,157 falls into a time tunnel, 147 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,200 and Worf becomes a Worf 148 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,827 from 12 minutes in the future. 149 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,371 We could let people punch you for a buck. 150 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,582 No, all our profit would just go to medical expenses. 151 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,966 Hey, Brenda, I was trying to 152 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,051 do the books for the quarter, and I was having 153 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,720 a little trouble making sense of it. 154 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:45,846 You know, Mary, if... 155 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,973 if it's too big of a mess, and 156 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:51,018 you'd rather work somewhere else, I'd understand. 157 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,061 No, I'll figure it out. 158 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,105 Great. 159 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,732 So happy you're here. 160 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:03,655 Hey, there. 161 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,699 Oh. 162 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,700 Hi, Mary. 163 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,203 Finally found an eight-pounder that's not pink. 164 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,330 I didn't know you bowled. 165 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,833 I didn't know you did either. 166 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,044 Actually, I, um, 167 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,628 I work here now. 168 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,964 Oh, sure, okay. 169 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,090 I... 170 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,634 I'm so sorry 171 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,636 about how things 172 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,305 went down at church. 173 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,974 If it helps at all, the place has gone to heck since you left. 174 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,018 Good. 175 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,023 I sure do miss working with you. 176 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,901 Well, we can still be friends, 177 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,736 even if we don't work together. 178 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:44,863 I'd like that. 179 00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:47,032 You find a kiddie ball yet? 180 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,242 It's not about the weight, just... 181 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,161 I have small fingers. 182 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,914 Oh, uh, Mary, this is Shannon. 183 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,040 Shannon, this is 184 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,167 Mary Cooper. Hi. 185 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,919 You used to be Mary Tucker. 186 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,755 Oh, not in a long time. 187 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,964 You remember me? 188 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,758 Sorry, no. 189 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,095 Shannon Dixon. You used to babysit me. 190 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,680 Is that so? 191 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,807 She was so great. 192 00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,517 She would let me stay up late and watch TV 193 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,477 while she would make out with her boyfriend. 194 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,106 I don't... remember any of that. 195 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,358 Oh, I'm not surprised. You used to hit my dad's liquor cabinet 196 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,944 pretty hard. Well, Mary Cooper. 197 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,114 I was... young and hadn't found the Lord. 198 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,325 You two have a great time. 199 00:07:37,872 --> 00:07:39,467 Here's that invoice. 200 00:07:39,508 --> 00:07:41,242 Oh. Great. 201 00:07:41,476 --> 00:07:43,478 I see Pastor Rob's here again. 202 00:07:43,478 --> 00:07:45,772 Oh, does, uh... 203 00:07:45,772 --> 00:07:48,143 does he come here often? 204 00:07:48,152 --> 00:07:49,820 Not with that one. 205 00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:51,196 She's new. 206 00:07:51,616 --> 00:07:54,992 Well, good for him. 207 00:07:54,992 --> 00:07:57,327 Single, good-looking pastor. 208 00:07:57,327 --> 00:07:58,954 In a small town like this, 209 00:07:58,954 --> 00:08:00,747 he might as well be Roger Staubach. 210 00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:05,169 Oh, my God. The Dallas Cowboys. 211 00:08:05,169 --> 00:08:07,004 Oh, sure, course. 212 00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,881 Um... hey, if you need me, 213 00:08:08,881 --> 00:08:11,258 I'm gonna be in the office doing... 214 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,968 office things. 215 00:08:19,224 --> 00:08:20,142 What are you doing here? 216 00:08:20,142 --> 00:08:21,810 I ran out of beer at home, 217 00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:23,604 didn't feel like driving to the store. 218 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,064 Oh, so you just waltz in and help yourself? 219 00:08:26,064 --> 00:08:28,108 'Bout sums it up. 220 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,110 I'm changing the locks. 221 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,613 Cheers. 222 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,160 So, how's my daughter doing? 223 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,870 Eh, she seems okay. 224 00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:41,663 Still trying to figure things out. 225 00:08:41,663 --> 00:08:44,166 I got to be honest, I'm not exactly upset 226 00:08:44,166 --> 00:08:46,126 about less religion in the house. 227 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,212 I hear you. 228 00:08:48,212 --> 00:08:50,214 Although, Jesus making her forgive me 229 00:08:50,214 --> 00:08:52,382 has come in handy more than a few times. 230 00:08:55,219 --> 00:08:58,096 Then again, I remember Mary before God 231 00:08:58,096 --> 00:08:59,515 got His mitts on her, and... 232 00:08:59,515 --> 00:09:02,184 ...she was pretty wild. 233 00:09:02,184 --> 00:09:04,228 Don't have to tell me. 234 00:09:04,228 --> 00:09:05,479 I was the person she was wild with. 235 00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:08,815 Oh, she was wild long before she ever met you. 236 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,108 What do you mean? 237 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,905 Did you think that you were the first person she was wild with? 238 00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:18,033 Well... yeah. 239 00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:25,047 And just when the Enterprise is about to be 240 00:09:25,047 --> 00:09:26,549 assimilated by the Borg, 241 00:09:26,549 --> 00:09:29,886 another ship appears, piloted by Wesley Crusher. 242 00:09:29,886 --> 00:09:31,846 Uh-huh. It's surprising because 243 00:09:31,846 --> 00:09:33,681 Wesley Crusher left the show years ago, 244 00:09:33,681 --> 00:09:34,765 so it's a big deal. 245 00:09:34,765 --> 00:09:35,850 If you say so. 246 00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:37,184 I have more. Commander Data... 247 00:09:37,184 --> 00:09:39,729 I'd like a reservation for dinner. 248 00:09:39,729 --> 00:09:40,855 Yes, I'll hold. 249 00:09:40,855 --> 00:09:42,732 You want to do this over dinner? Okay. 250 00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:44,984 I'm taking your grandmother out tonight. 251 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,694 She didn't mention it to me. 252 00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:48,905 Maybe because it doesn't concern you. 253 00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:50,406 My meemaw, my professor-- 254 00:09:50,406 --> 00:09:53,075 who's in the middle of that Venn diagram? 255 00:09:53,075 --> 00:09:54,911 Yes, two people at 8:00. 256 00:09:54,911 --> 00:09:56,871 8:00's a little late for Meemaw. 257 00:09:56,871 --> 00:09:58,706 What time does she like to eat? 258 00:09:58,706 --> 00:10:01,334 Well, she's old like you, so 6:30 at the latest. 259 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,003 Can we make that 6:30? Wonderful. 260 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,881 Hold on. Does she like French food? 261 00:10:07,047 --> 00:10:10,092 I'll call you back. 262 00:10:10,092 --> 00:10:12,345 Anyway, Commander Data... 263 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,555 Let me ask you a question, if this Commander Data 264 00:10:14,555 --> 00:10:17,767 were taking your meemaw out for dinner, where would they go? 265 00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:19,435 Almost certainly the holodeck. 266 00:10:19,435 --> 00:10:20,978 Sounds trendy. 267 00:10:20,978 --> 00:10:22,730 Is that in Houston? 268 00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:27,526 Hello. 269 00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:28,945 What's up? 270 00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:30,738 I saw your "help wanted" sign. 271 00:10:30,738 --> 00:10:31,948 I'd like to help, please. 272 00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:32,907 How old are you? 273 00:10:32,907 --> 00:10:34,784 How old do I need to be? 274 00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:35,826 14. 275 00:10:35,826 --> 00:10:37,870 Do I not look 14? 276 00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,789 I don't care. Perfect. 277 00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:41,415 So, when do I start? 278 00:10:41,415 --> 00:10:43,960 All right, hold on, do you even like comic books? 279 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:44,794 Yeah. 280 00:10:44,794 --> 00:10:46,003 What's your favorite? 281 00:10:47,338 --> 00:10:48,506 Um... 282 00:10:48,506 --> 00:10:50,883 And the cool thing about the X-Men is not just 283 00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:51,968 that they have superpowers, but they act 284 00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:53,386 as a metaphor for outsiders... 285 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,930 ...outsiders trying to find their place in society. 286 00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:57,682 Who's your favorite? 287 00:10:57,682 --> 00:10:59,141 All of them. 288 00:11:00,476 --> 00:11:01,477 Mine, too. 289 00:11:01,477 --> 00:11:02,979 And I got the job. 290 00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:04,230 You can't work at the comic book store. 291 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,815 If anyone should work at the comic book store, 292 00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:06,816 it should be me. 293 00:11:06,816 --> 00:11:08,067 Sorry, we're not hiring. 294 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,819 Do I at least get a discount? 295 00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:11,362 I do. 296 00:11:18,661 --> 00:11:20,830 Oh, hey, hi. 297 00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:23,040 Oh... You okay? 298 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,459 Not really. 299 00:11:25,459 --> 00:11:28,671 It's been a... rough couple of days. 300 00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:30,506 I'm sorry. 301 00:11:30,506 --> 00:11:31,799 Thank you. 302 00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:32,967 Makes you feel better, 303 00:11:32,967 --> 00:11:34,385 I've had a pretty good couple of days, 304 00:11:34,385 --> 00:11:35,845 and I'm still gonna get drunk. 305 00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:39,390 Want to join me? 306 00:11:40,891 --> 00:11:42,059 Yes. 307 00:11:42,059 --> 00:11:43,894 That would be nice. 308 00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:45,104 More sad than nice, 309 00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:47,314 but let's go. Okay. 310 00:11:51,221 --> 00:11:54,728 So... this is unexpected. 311 00:11:54,753 --> 00:11:56,429 Well, I know you like margaritas, so my first thought was a Mexican restaurant. 312 00:11:56,429 --> 00:11:58,426 so my first thought was a Mexican restaurant. 313 00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,386 Good thought. 314 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,846 But I assumed other men had come 315 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,097 to that same conclusion. 316 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:05,100 They have. Which led me to Polynesian fare. 317 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,018 I like to think of the Mai Tai 318 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,813 as the margarita of the South Pacific. 319 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:12,858 You don't do anything on a whim, do you? 320 00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:14,651 Did once, didn't like it. 321 00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:18,905 I have an idea 322 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,948 for a Star Trek episode 323 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,241 I'd like to present to you. 324 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,701 Why me? 325 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:24,077 Because I'm hoping to sell it, 326 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,871 and since it's going to be broadcast television, 327 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:28,039 I want to make sure the common man can understand it. 328 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:30,500 Well, I understand I was just insulted. 329 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,711 Excellent, I came to the right common man. 330 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,170 We start on 331 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,882 a gas giant in the vicinity of Rigel IV, 332 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,258 then see a shuttlecraft, 333 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,469 a dot of silver against the inky blackness of space. 334 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,846 Inside the shuttlecraft, 335 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,307 we see Lieutenant Worf struggling to breathe. 336 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,894 He's been infected by a vicious intelligent fungus. 337 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,729 Where are you going? I'm listening. 338 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,897 Cough, cough. 339 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,815 Worf is choking on spores, 340 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,358 but not just your everyday spores, 341 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,860 these are spores with their own 342 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,278 evil agenda. Uh-huh. 343 00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,112 And, as he sinks 344 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,822 into a coma, a mysterious figure 345 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,157 in a spacesuit approaches. 346 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:04,159 He lowers the visor of his helmet revealing... 347 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:05,911 Future Worf. Are you hooked? 348 00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,579 Oh, yeah. 349 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:08,955 Main titles. 350 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,498 Cue theme song and the soothing voice 351 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,501 of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard says... 352 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,796 "Space..." 353 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,008 "...the final frontier." 354 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,802 Who's Patrick Stewart? 355 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,307 Feeling better? I'm fine, 356 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,601 just having a little moment earlier. 357 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,769 Oh, yeah. 358 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:31,770 All right. 359 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,104 Mm. 360 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,439 Mmm. 361 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:40,153 Seems like running into Pastor Rob kind of... 362 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,780 kind of rattled you a little bit. 363 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,032 Oh, well... 364 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,160 I was asked to leave the church, 365 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,913 and he's still there, so... 366 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,957 it's still a little fresh. Mm. 367 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:54,376 Yeah, I get that. 368 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,795 Seems like a nice guy, though. Oh, yeah, 369 00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,046 he's great. 370 00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,006 Cute as a button. 371 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,008 I guess. 372 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,552 I prefer a bigger man. 373 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,054 Like George? 374 00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,932 Oh, yeah. Bigger the better. 375 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,560 Deep within the Enterprise's control room, 376 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,687 Future Worf says, 377 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,980 "I willingly sacrifice myself 378 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,481 for the good of this mission," 379 00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,274 then throws himself into the warp core. 380 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,943 There's an explosion of tachyons. 381 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:23,571 The Enterprise blasts free of the gigantic field of fungus. 382 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,572 Fade out. 383 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,951 Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper. 384 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,870 What do you think? 385 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:35,041 If this Worf fella was infected on the shuttles, 386 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,376 why would he come back to the Enterprise 387 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,877 and put everyone else in danger? 388 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,797 Well... 389 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,800 My father found a flaw in my story, 390 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,802 my sister had a job I envied. 391 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,304 It was a big day for the common man. 392 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,598 But then I had an idea that, 393 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:53,059 like Future Worf, was ahead of its time. 394 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,603 Missy. What? 395 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:58,106 Why is a dollar worth a dollar? 396 00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,941 Sheldon, I'm busy. 397 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,735 Me too. I've solved all of our money problems. 398 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,862 I'm going to invent my own digital currency. 399 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,613 Like, printing your own? 400 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,283 No. First, we assign value to difficult-to-find numbers 401 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,826 and store them in a computer database. 402 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,870 Then we create an algorithm to mine the numbers, 403 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:14,039 then we encourage people to switch from currencies 404 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,623 that are government-backed to ours. 405 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,418 It's brilliant. I'm going to be rich. 406 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,961 Speaking of, 407 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,881 did you know Batman is also secretly a rich dude? 408 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:25,216 Or he lives in a rich dude's basement. 409 00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:26,968 I'm still figuring it out. 410 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,266 Oh, thank you, tiki woman. 411 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,059 So... 412 00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,852 what's going on at work? 413 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,729 I don't want to bore you with science talk. 414 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,064 No, no, I'm interested. 415 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,858 Excellent. We're in a race with the Finnish team to see 416 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,069 who can correct the unification of the leptons. 417 00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,863 As you can imagine, the world waits anxiously 418 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,157 while we see who crosses the finish line first. 419 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,576 So, the Finnish may be at the finish line? 420 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,082 Oh, you're witty, too. 421 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,875 More cheese to bait the trap. 422 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,919 Maybe we should order dinner. 423 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,088 Nonsense, there's food right here. 424 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,089 Pineapple, 425 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:06,341 prickly on the outside, 426 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,051 but beautiful inside, 427 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:10,178 just like you. 428 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,017 And you know that Shannon girl... 429 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,060 With Pastor Rob? 430 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,604 She was a bedwetter. 431 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,773 Ten years old. 432 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:22,941 That's not normal. 433 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,275 Maybe he'll get a fun little surprise 434 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:25,568 on their honeymoon. 435 00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:28,363 Oh, no, they're not getting married. 436 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:29,697 Well, how do you know? 437 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:30,949 I don't. 438 00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:33,159 I just think he could do better. 439 00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,704 Mary Cooper. 440 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,498 Are you sweet on him? 441 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,208 No! What? 442 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:43,294 I am a married woman. 443 00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:44,921 Happily. 444 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,173 Well, I was married once, too, didn't stop me from looking. 445 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,967 Well, I'm not looking. 446 00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:51,511 Where you going? 447 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,637 To dance. 448 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,097 I didn't think you Baptists did that. 449 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,723 We don't drink, neither. 450 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,142 Ooh! 451 00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,935 Look at me. Ooh! Wow. 452 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,148 I'm pretty good. 453 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,399 Are you familiar with the phrase, 454 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,734 "You need money to make money"? No. 455 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,404 Well, it's a phrase, and my clever twist on it is, 456 00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:11,990 "I'm going to make money to make money." 457 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,408 Mm-hmm. 458 00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:14,826 Now, when I say "make money," you might think that 459 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,786 I'm talking about counterfeiting, but no, 460 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,122 I'm talking about creating a unique decentralized 461 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,166 digital currency that people can pay to own. 462 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,333 Sounds like a scam. 463 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,252 No, it's an open-source currency 464 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,421 that has value due to mathematical scarcity. 465 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,131 Sounds pretty scammy. 466 00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,674 You don't understand. 467 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:30,884 I do. 468 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,427 You say a bunch of fancy jibber-jabber, 469 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,761 people don't want to admit 470 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,096 they're too stupid to understand, 471 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,055 then they give you their money. 472 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,558 Well... um... sort of. 473 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,768 Love it. How do we get started? 474 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,438 Well, all we need is a mainframe computer. 475 00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:46,149 How much is that? New, about half a million dollars, 476 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,776 but I'm hoping to find something slightly used. 477 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,863 Time will prove me right. 478 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,200 You're not gonna believe this, 479 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,409 but I don't go on a lot of dates. 480 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,702 No. 481 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,370 It's true. 482 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,456 Sure, I did okay as a younger man, but 483 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,249 there was a war on and 484 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,043 most of the able-bodied men were elsewhere. 485 00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:07,212 So, you sowed some oats, I get it. 486 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:08,296 A whole field of them. 487 00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,173 I was the Johnny Appleseed of oats. 488 00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:11,216 Okay. 489 00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,468 But here's the thing. 490 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,596 Once you put off matrimony past a certain point, 491 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,390 women start to think of you as... What's the word? 492 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:22,060 Creepy? There it is. 493 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,811 And then along comes you, 494 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,480 my little Texas firecracker, 495 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,898 playing the game of life 496 00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:28,191 by her own set of rules. 497 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:31,611 I'm a firecracker, I'm a pineapple... 498 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,737 Good for me. 499 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,822 Can I ask you a personal question? 500 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:35,907 Oh, I wish you wouldn't. 501 00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:36,950 How would you like 502 00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,243 to make love to a man 503 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,203 who shook the hand of Albert Einstein? 504 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,121 And... you did. 505 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,082 This one right here. 506 00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:45,333 I didn't wash it for a week. 507 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,043 Not a selling point. 508 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,630 Excuse me for a moment. 509 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,633 I have to toss my cookies. 510 00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,889 Hey. 511 00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,224 Where you been? 512 00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:04,227 Brenda and I went dancing. 513 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,187 You went dancing? 514 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:09,107 Yeah, and I'm darn good at it. 515 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,483 Okay. 516 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,861 The kids asleep? Yep. 517 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,657 You want to fool around? 518 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,118 Are you messing with me? 519 00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:22,078 I'm hoping to. 520 00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:25,513 Well, hot diggity dog. 521 00:19:30,622 --> 00:19:32,791 Welcome to King Kong Comics. I'm Missy. 522 00:19:32,791 --> 00:19:34,459 If you have any questions, please let me know. 523 00:19:34,459 --> 00:19:35,877 I don't have any questions. 524 00:19:35,877 --> 00:19:37,462 I know more about comic books than you do. 525 00:19:37,462 --> 00:19:39,756 Okay. What you may not know is the new 526 00:19:39,756 --> 00:19:41,299 Green Lantern just came in. 527 00:19:42,175 --> 00:19:44,344 Also, if you like green things, I recommend Green Arrow, 528 00:19:44,344 --> 00:19:46,554 and, of course, the Hulk. His skin is green. 529 00:19:46,554 --> 00:19:48,348 I know that. Everyone knows that. 530 00:19:48,348 --> 00:19:50,558 Uh-oh, are you gonna smash things? 531 00:19:50,558 --> 00:19:52,352 That's something the Hulk does when he gets upset. 532 00:19:52,352 --> 00:19:53,561 I'm not upset. 533 00:19:53,561 --> 00:19:55,105 Cool. If you need something, 534 00:19:55,105 --> 00:19:57,482 I'll be at the front counter. Where I work. 36126

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