All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.UK.S04E04.WEB-DL.1080p-FN.en

- Previously on
"RuPaul's Drag Race UK"...

You'll be working
in pairs as you create

two complementary looks.

[upbeat music]

- Are we complementary?
- Are we complementary?

- You've got one little geode.
- Yeah.

Copper has veered towards
this Barbarella fantasy,

whereas I,
a really snazzy rock.

- Oh, fuck

- It's taken so much more time
than I imagined it taking.

We're just gonna
have to serve it.

Black Peppa and JB, y'all.

- The execution with
that material wasn't the one.

- Copper Topp
and Cheddar Gorgeous.

- This outfit
is just a little too simple

for a design challenge.

- Dakota Schiffer and Baby.

- You're like
chicken tikka lasagna.

You shouldn't work, but you do.

[laughing]
- Thank you.

- Condragulations.

You are the winners
of this week's Maxi Challenge.

- Black Peppa,
shantay, you stay.

Copper Topp, sashay away.

[somber music]

[dramatic music]

- Oh.

What a day.

- What a day.

- That was a lip sync
and a half, that was.

- So we're back
into the werkroom

after I just sent Copper home.

I'm not gonna lie,
it's really humbling.

It's like okay, girl,
you really need to up your game

because if you don't,
you might be going next.

I love you all so much.

Count your lucky stars
you won't

be playing me at Snatch Game.

[laughter]

Love, Old Maiden.

[laughter]

- Old Maiden!

- Slay, Old Maiden.

- I'm really gonna miss Ginger.

- Ginger?
Copper Topp?

[laughter]

- Oh, God, she really did fade
into the background.

- Goodbye, Ginger.

- I feel like
Copper can't catch a break

because even in her exit
from the competition,

Peppa is still
massacring her name.

Girl, I'm sorry.

- We really love you, Copper.

- We love you.
- Bye, bitch.

[laughter]

- Bye, bitch.
- Bye.

- We love you.

I'm sorry for calling
you an old maiden.

Sminty:
I'm really gonna miss Copper.

She just did bring
a really huge warm presence

to the whole group.

And I feel like
after Copper's elimination,

the room definitely feels
like a big space

has been taken out of it,
which is really heartbreaking.

I really felt like
it should have been me

up there with her

just because
we were in a team together

and just because we
worked on it together.

- Beyond that,
because obviously Copper's look

was completely,
almost quite different,

like, in terms of styles and--

- She did choose.
- Right.

So yeah, what happened?

Was it just
that Copper was like--

- She did.
- No, I'm just--

I'm just laughing, like,
you know, it was her fault.

[laughter]

- Yeah, you're right.
I don't feel that bad.

She decided.

[laughter]

- I've got another question
for my sister, Jon.

Babe, do you feel like
you had a lucky escape then

because your sister
was in the bottom one

from your group?

- Like, I do realize that,
like, we were in the bottom.

But I still stand by this look.

I still think
this is a fashion look,

and it was just
down to execution.

This actually, for anyone
else in fashion, is fashion.

- Danny is about to go and get
my cock from between me legs.

Should we go
and get changed, girls?

- Yes.

- Especially you two
baked apple pies.

Come on, mummy's hungry.

- Baked potato pie, thank you.

- I can't get up.

- Oh, my God, get this--

- With three down,
it's getting more desperate.

People are realizing
we're not all here

to be best friends anymore.

- Oh.
- Are we two aubergine emojis?

- Basically, we're just
two silly fat dicks.

It's hard to prove
to these girls,

if they don't get
out of the way,

I'm gonna slap them
to the side.

Better watch out.

And run all the way
to that crown like a--

I don't know what I'm saying.

[laughs]

- Go.
Show me more.

- This is Celtic wizard.

- Oh, that is Celtic wizard.

- It better not be
another group challenge

because I need a solo.

I'm a break out star.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh!

- To the moon.

- [singing]
"RuPaul's Drag Race"

- The winner, crowned the UK's
next Drag Race Superstar,

will receive an all expenses
paid trip to Hollywood

to create their own digital
series with the producers

of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Tonight, with Michelle Visage,
Alan Carr,

and extra special guest judge,
Alison Hammond.

[singing]
May the best drag queen win

Best drag queen win

[upbeat music]

[cheering]

Dakota: It's a new day
in the werkroom,

and I have two Ru Peter badges.

But suddenly,
it doesn't feel very natural,

and I feel
very weird everyone's eyes

being on my new nipple covers,
so...

[laughs]

- Congratulations on your win.

[cheering]

- You're no longer "Dakosta."

- Oh, my--
- Oh!

- Says Miss Sminty No Badge.

- Says the bitch
with no badges.

- Oh, excuse me.

- I think we've got a bit
of a sleeping assassin

on our hands.

Dakota was in the bottom
in week one.

But now she has two badges.

I'm surprised, to be honest.

But I'm just excited
to see what she does next now.

- Baby, how do you feel
about having to share your win?

- At least I got a win, bitch.

I feel that
after being sacrificed

in the girl group challenge,
just to have

any kind of moment is lovely.

- Are we gonna do this
to the end of time?

- Till the day I die, I swear,
I will never let it go.

[siren blares]

[cheering]

- What you got for me?

- Her majesty did
already did had herses.

Hey, ladykins.

- Hey.

- A cool cat once told me,
if you scratch my back,

I'll scratch yours.

So put some glitter
in your litter

and let your pussy roar.

You dig?

- I love cats.

- You'll be doing
a shoot with lions.

- [laughing]

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hey!

- Come on, suit.

- Hi, ladykins.

all: Hi!

- You know, to get ahead
in this competition,

you have to be willing
to put your arse

on the line, literally.

So for today's mini challenge,

we're doing a cheeky twist
on musical chairs

with a game we call
Line of Booty Duty.

[laughter]

- Now, I never had enough
friends growing up

to play musical chairs,
so actually,

I think
I'm gonna do pretty shit.

- Okay,
so you've got 15 minutes

to get into quick
derriere enhanced drag.

Ready?

Set.

Go.

[screaming]

- Another quick drag.

I walk into this werkroom
beat down, and then Ru's,

"Go over there and make
yourself look absolutely

busted,
and then come back over here

and run around like a prat.

Oh.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, my God.

Surely not.

- Let's get some pastries
in there.

- At least all
that off food will

match the smell of your pits.

[laughing]

- Right, makeup, makeup,
makeup, makeup, makeup.

- I'm slapping this on
like I'm slapping a backside.

- All right, ladies, time's up.

[all screeching]

- Time's up, ladies.

Now, my queens, it's time
to play Line of Booty Duty...

[siren blares]
- Yes.

- Where every chair
is a derriere.

Oh, Brit crew!

- Ooh.

- Oh.

- Hello, officer.

I did it.
Take me away.

- [laughs]

- I love his helmet.

- Ladies,
Inspector Longbottom is here.

[laughter]

- It's your duty
to shake that booty.

- Now, the rules are
just like musical chairs.

When the music starts,
you shake those booties.

When the music stops,
you take a seat.

And if you can't find a seat,
you're out.

In the end,
the last queen standing wins.

Cheddar: I am so ready
to play musical chairs,

or as I like to call it,
ass to ass,

which is actually one
of my favorite games

or group activities.

- Ready?
Set.

Let the music play.

[RuPaul's "Who Is She"]

[laughs]

[record scratch]

[all screaming]

- Oh, no!

[laughing]
- Oh, for fuck's sake.

[buzzer blares]

- Who expected that?

- Bummer.

- Danny Beard,
darling, you are out.

- Do you know what?
I'm out of breath anyway.

[laughter]

- I mean,
Danny didn't want to run round.

This is too much cardio.

- All right,
Officer Longbottom,

take away a chair.

All right, ready?

Set.
Let the music play.

[RuPaul's "Peanut Butter"]

[record scratch]

[all screaming]

- I'm literally on my ass.

Dakota just knocked me
off the bloody chair,

so she could get on it.

[all screaming]

- Sminty dropped!
- Aww.

- Rest those cheesy feet,
Cheddar.

You're out.
[buzzer blares]

[RuPaul's "Who Is She"]

[record scratch]

[all screaming]

- Run, bitch, run!

- Oh.

[buzzer blares]
- It's fine.

- Dakota was out next.

At least I didn't push you off.

You deserved that one.
Ha!

[RuPaul's "Peanut Butter"]

[record scratch]

[all screaming]

[laughter]

[buzzer blares]

- I didn't know.

- Look at all the pastries
at your ankles.

- All right, there are four
chairs left and five girls.

Let the music play.

[RuPaul's "Who Is She"]

- Oh, look who's
bringing up the rear.

[all screaming]

[laughter]

- Oh, dumb bitch down!
[buzzer blares]

- No.
- Oh.

- You're out, baby.

- I cannot believe that
my lithe and luscious booty

has not landed me in the top
of this little mini challenge.

[RuPaul's "Who Is She"]

[record scratch]

[laughter]
[buzzer blares]

- Devastation.

- Black Peppa is out.

All right, there are only
two seats left, three girls.

[RuPauls' "Peanut Butter"]

- You better arse somebody.

[record scratch]

[all screeching]

- Rats.

And then me.

I'm used to losing, so there's
another notch on the bedpost.

- One seat left.

Ladies, are you ready?

- Ready.

- I was born ready.

- Yes.

- It's down to me and Sminty.

If I have to booty bash
her out of the way,

I will, because I want
to win this mini challenge.

- Two queens, one seat.

- We're head and head
for the battle of the bums.

I'm gonna win this.

- Let the music play.

[RuPaul's "Who Is She"]

[record scratch]

[all screeching]

[laughter]

- Yes!

Looking great.

- Well, it's about time Pixie
won something for herself,

isn't it?

Although, thinking about it,
I did actually win

in that girl challenge too,
so fair.

- Pixie Polite has
earned her seat.

You're the winner, baby.

- Thank you very much.

If anyone's gonna win a prize
for the biggest luscious booty,

it was gonna be me,
let's be honest.

- Now ladies, if you thought
that was the craziest thing

you'd do today, think again.

[dramatic music]

For this week's maxi challenge,
fur will fly,

as you appear on the new
chat show, "Catty Man."

[cat meows]

- Hosted by Alan Carr.

[cheering]

- #DragRaceUK.

We'll be testing
your improv skills.

- Amazing, yes.

- There'll be family reunions,
love triangles,

and a nasty case
of cat scratch fever.

Rahr!

So you'll be working
in groups of three.

- [sighs]

We have to work
in teams again.

It's starting to feel like
"All Stars" one up in here.

- Pixie Polite, because
you won the mini challenge,

you get to assign the teams.

- Ooh.

- Okay.

- First, pick two queens
to be in your group.

♪ ♪

- I'm going to choose
Cheddar Gorgeous.

- Cheddar Gorgeous!

- And...

- Pick me, Pixie.
Pick me, Pixie.

Pick me, Pixie.
Pick me, Pixie.

Pixie, pick me.

- Danny Beard.

- Danny Beard!

- Duh, of course you're gonna
pick Cheddar and Danny, okay.

Keep it moving.

- All right, now, Pixie,
assign the other two groups,

starting with group two.

- I'm going to choose
Dakota, Fil, and Baby.

We'll just go along the line.

- Okay, and group three?

- Peppa, Jonbers,
and Sminty, babes.

- Well done.

All right.
That makes it very easy.

- Manners, my mother
taught me my manners.

- Oh, you are Pixie Polite.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Tomorrow on the runway,
the category is the Mane Event:

Love your hair.
Hope you win.

all: Ooh!

- Racers, start your engines.

And may the best
drag queen win.

- Whoo!

- Come on.

Come on, gals,
let's get out of this.

- Oh, I've got to get
these blooming handcuffs

out me ears.

- Improv!

Oh, my God,
this is next-level stuff.

Last time I did improv
was when I was back at school

and we were in drama class.

And so, this is gonna
be a wild ride this week.

- I've worked with you before.

I just worked
with you amazingly.

I think that we're a good team.

- Pixie was sweet
doing it like that.

- I know she was, yeah.

- Pixie, why did you choose us?

- Well, I feel like we
bounce well off each other.

- And what
about the other teams?

Because you made out
like you were just

going along the line, but I--

- Well, I did go down the line.
- Yeah.

- It was very
conveniently done.

- And I thought that.

- I did pick the other two
teams how they were lined up.

But I was thinking,
okay, how do I

do like a middle team
and a team who I think maybe

will be the worst?

- Jonbers, Peppa, and Sminty--

- Are we--
can everyone do accents?

- I definitely think they're--

they were conveniently
in the middle.

- Interesting.
- That's all I'll say.

- [laughing]
Yeah.

- Pixie, she's that innocent
looking woman at the bus stop.

She may not have thrown
them under the bus,

but she's certainly
standing near them

and waiting for one to come by.

- Are we all on the same page
as to what improv actually is?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, it's reacting to--

you're given a statement
by somebody.

It's about building upon.

And you never know
where it's gonna go.

Peppa and Jonbers were
in the bottom last week,

but maybe they are both Oscar
award-winning actresses,

which is fine, I guess.

Hm, yes.

- And what are we
not gonna do?

Be too overambitious, girlies.

- No, no.

- [laughing]

[upbeat music]

- Okay, Catty Man,
scenario one,

Curiosity Killed the Katrina.

When an ex-child
star wants closure

about the tragic disappearance
of her sister,

she turns to Allen.

With the help of a psychic,
Allen tries

to help her discover
what happened.

But is there more to the story
than meets the eye?

- Wow.

- We've been given
a brief overview

of what our improv
should be about,

and we've got
to fill in all the blanks

and create our own story.

The pressure's on.

- So we got Katrina.

- Curiosity.

- Mystic Mog.

Are we gonna be able
to smash it with these choices?

- Yeah, I think so.

- It's about--
- About team talent.

[laughter]

Don't say that.

- You've just set
yourself up for the fall

from a high stack, my gay.

- [laughing]

- I think it'll be fun,

but I haven't done
improv in a while.

I think it'll be all right.

- Honestly,
I've never done improv before.

But I want to go all in
for this challenge.

Well, shall we open her up?

When two rivals discover
that somehow they've

swapped voices with each other,

they've literally
got each other's tongues.

They ask Alan for help,

who's got
an eminent tongue doctor

on hand to lend some advice.

- Oh, my God, Dr. Le Feline?

- Yeah.

Oh, hold on.

- As we were reading
through the scripts

and seeing the notes
about each character,

it's sort of, like,
begin to align

with each other's
personalities.

Queen number two is kitty cat,
who's infamous

for being a really bad singer.

I mean, it's gonna
be a challenge, just saying.

I'm not one to circle back,
but okay.

But she's
an amazing lip-syncer,

so there's every cloud.

- I feel like the roles have
already cast themselves.

I'm Tabitha.
You're Kitty Cat.

And you're--
- Dr. Le Feline.

- That's too good.

I have absolutely zero
improv experience,

so I don't feel much pressure.

I only feel the pressure
to just surprise people.

And that's the energy
I'm taking into the challenge.

- The catfish is
out of the bag.

- Oh.

- An unlucky
in love queen thinks

she's here to meet the one.

But it turns out she's been
duped by an online catfisher,

although romance could
still be in the air

when she meets the actual
person from the pictures.

[gasps]
Okay.

This is quite camp though.

- This is my everyday life.
- Yeah, this is my--

[laughing]

- I'm feeling really confident
because, as we know,

I'm a chaotic mess as it is.

And I think improv is literally
just being a chaotic mess.

- Who is feeling it

in their waters
for each character.

- Oh, gosh.
I don't know yet.

- I'm drawn to Catty
and to Claudia.

- The character who I would
be more expected to go with

would be Claudia because she's

sort of this, like,
Instagram model.

She's really pretty.

And I don't want to go down
that route of,

you're literally
just playing yourself.

I think I'm drawn to Catty--

- Okay.
- The most.

So I am gonna take the risk
and go for someone

that maybe isn't more me.

- I'm doing Lucky.
- Mm-hmm.

- And you're gonna do--

- I'm gonna do Catty Fisher.

- And I'm gonna be Claudia.

- Okay.

- I think that they're
very good for us

because it gives us a chance
to show something

we haven't shown before,
you know?

- You've not shown
any beauty yet.

- Ah!

- The comedy hasn't
started yet, darling.

- [laughing]

[jazz music]

- It's time to hit the studio
for the record of

"Catty Man" with Alan Carr.

Meow.

[hissing]

- Come on in, ladies.
Come on in.

Where's me pussies?
Here, pussy, pussy.

How are you doing, girls?

- Great.
- Gorgeous.

- We're gonna do some improv
here, so just go with it.

Have some fun.

But this pilot has to work,
so don't fuck it up.

Can you do that?

- Yes!

- I'm really excited
to be working

with Alan Carr,
Chatty Man meets chatty Cathy.

Come on, let's go for a cuppa.

[upbeat music]

- Welcome to "Catty Man."

I'm Alan Carr,
former cat psychologist

and friend
of felines everywhere.

Now my first guest,
she's a former child star

with a tragic past.

Please give it up
for Curiosity.

[upbeat music]

- [sighs]

- Take a seat.
Take a seat.

- Thank you, Alan.
- Why are you here?

- I just wanted to come on
and share with the world

my wonderful--I mean,
tragic, tragic experiences.

You may know
my wonderful sister, Katrina.

- Oh, yes, yes.

- We were the world's
first yodeling acrobats.

- She disappeared.

- She wandered out
one night in the Alps.

She was
out on the hills yodeling.

And her loud screeching,
well, we can

only assume that it brought
a mountain down on top of her,

but they never found a body
or any evidence.

- [laughs]
- I think we need some answers.

Please welcome the psychic,
Mystic Mog.

[carnival music]

- All right, Alan.
How are ya?

- Oh, so you think
it's funny coming on here

with comedy teeth, do you?

- Well, I did actually.

- [laughs]

- When did you first
realize you had this ability

to look on the other side?

- Me dad had a cat,
right, called Mog.

Mog got hit by a tractor, Alan.

And when it died--
- Oh, sorry to hear that.

- No, don't be sorry, Alan.
It's a good story.

What happened is Alan,
Mog ended up passing over

and becoming me spirit guide.

- What's the cat
saying about this?

[laughter]

Oh, that's--
get back, get back, get back.

Oy.

[hissing]

Are you getting anything
from Curiosity here?

- Give me a moment, Alan.

- What's that?

- Just a bit of catnip,
darling.

It just gets me in the mood.

- You've got Katrina?

- She's here now.

She's on the other side
of that wall.

- [gasps]

- And do you know what?

Curiosity didn't
kill the Katrina

because she is here today.

Come on in, Katrina.

- I smell her.

- Hello, darlings.

- Oh.
[laughing]

- It's so lovely to see you.

- Is it, you silly bitch?
- [gasps]

- What do you mean, Katrina?
You went out wandering.

I told you that mountain
looked very precarious.

- There was
a blizzard that night.

It was snowing.

I feel like you may
have sent me out there

on purpose, my darling.

- [gasps]
- Is this true, Curiosity?

Tell me.

- Yes!

- [gasps]

- I sent you out in that storm.

And yes, I did push you.

- Well, she was always jealous

of my acrobatic
yodeling skills, Alan.

She was!

[yodeling]

- You bitch!
- Oh--

- That's not even your real
hair anymore, isn't it?

- Oh!

- No!

Baby: Watching Danny,
Pixie, and Cheddar perform,

I cannot stop laughing.

They are killing it,
from the top to the bottom.

- Mystic Mog, what can
you see for their futures?

Please let us know.

- I can actually read lobes.
Give me your lobes, girls.

Katrina loves cock, yeah.

[laughter]

- Is this true?
Do you love cock?

- Yes, darling.

[laughter]

- I don't know where Pixie
was even hiding that dildo.

And I honestly
don't want to know.

- What I see in your future
is two sisters

on the stage together again.

I think you're gonna
make it, girls.

- Oh, and that's the great
thing about "Catty Man."

It brings people together.
Thank you so much.

Haven't they been wonderful?
[applause]

- Thank you.
I'm feline great now.

[laughter]

- My next guest is known
on the club circuit

as having the
voice of an angel.

But in a cruel twist of fate,

the cat's not just
got her tongue,

someone's stolen it.

Please welcome Tabitha.

[upbeat music]

Oh, Tabitha, how are you?

Please sit down.

Why are you here?

- To be honest, Alan,

I've had quite
a tough few weeks.

- [laughs]

Do you want--
- [laughing]

- It sounds like it.

Can you tell us
about Kitty Cat?

- This bitch has
been after my career.

- Sorry about the language.

- Sorry.

This slag has been
after my career.

- Much better.
Thank you.

She once sounded like
a cat being strangled,

but now she's
making sweet meow-sic.

It's Kitty Cat.

- Hello, Alan.

- So tell us about this tongue.

- I went to go get a couple
of injectables in my face.

- [laughs]

- And I fall asleep
during the procedure.

And when I woke up,
I noticed something

felt different in my voice.

- Could we maybe
hear this voice?

- I would love nothing more.

- [singing]
Big ol' titties in your face

And you want a taste
of the pussy

But you cannot have the titties
for I am an independent woman

[soft music]

- He's got a songwriting
degree, remember.

- Is it true that you
stole Tabitha's man?

- Now I have her lover.

I have her career.

And I'm going to start
my world tour in Cambodia.

- [laughs]
Well, I never.

[laughter]

Well, perhaps my next guest can
unravel this tongue twister,

Dr. Feline Much Better.

- Oh, hello!

- Please take a seat.

Thank you so much
for joining us.

Tabitha here has swapped
tongues with Kitty Cat.

Is this possible?

- The theory is
that when tongues collide,

they cause
a tongue space continuum,

and it rips a hole.

And I think something
happened inside a black hole

on top of her man.

- Oh.

Le Fil:
I prepared so much for this,

but I don't
even know what I'm thinking.

Words are just coming
out of my mouth.

One of the tongue tips
entered the wrong hole

and caused this
infinite continuum loop.

I don't know what I'm doing.
The lights are on me.

Uh-oh.

- I heard that if you
cough up the furball,

you get your tongue back in.

- Yes, yes, I think so.

- So maybe would you like
to cough up a furball?

- Thank you.
- You do it as well.

Come on.
That's it.

Let's get these furballs up.

[both retching]

- What the hell's
going on here?

- Has it worked?
Has it worked?

- Oh, bloody hell, I'm back.

I'm back!

Tabitha is back.

- Me voice!
You've got me voice.

- You're finished.
- What am I gonna do?

- Thank you, Doctor, so much.
- Thank you.

This is beautiful.
- Thank you, girls.

I'm glad we sorted that out.

See you after the break.

[upbeat music]

[cat meows]

- My next guest
found love online.

And she's here today
to meet her dream girl

for the first time
and make it official.

Please welcome Lucky.

Take a seat.

So this is a huge moment
for you, Lucky.

How are you feeling?

- Me feel real good, Alan.

- [laughing]

And you've met
someone online.

How did you know
they were the one?

- I knew that Catty Fisher
was the one

because, first of all,
me did look 'pon her body.

And me say, Jesus Christ.

What kind of body look so big?

- Well, Lucky, are you ready
to meet the Kat of your dreams?

- Oh, my God.
- Come on in, Catty Fisher.

[tense music]

Oh.

Catty Fisher, please sit up.

Would you like
to remove the veil, please?

- Me mama!

What this?

- Is this not the person
in your photos?

- No, it's not.
She ugly!

- Well, clearly not
what she described.

Are you catfishing Lucky?

- Potentially.

I'm sorry.

- She wants a big "batty."

Can I have a look
at your batty?

Is this batty good enough?

- No.

Alan, she looks like
she's far from her kitchen.

[laughter]

Oh, my God.

- Are you not
happy with that, Lucky?

- No, sir, no, sir.

- Was that a twerk?

- Now, we've got a surprise
for you, Lucky.

That glamour puss
that you fell in love with

is actually here backstage.

Let me introduce Claudia.

[upbeat music]

- You are an absolute
stunner, Claudia.

- I am stunning.

And I am absolutely fuming.

My piss is boiling, Alan.

You are a pig slut.

- Oh.

How does that make you feel,
someone calling you a pig slut?

- Listen.

A dear friend
to me once told me...

[groans]

If you don't have
anything nice to say,

don't say anything at all.

- Oink oink.

Pixie: Sminty, this catfish
is about to be fried.

God, you should have
left that veil on.

- Is there a bit of a chemistry
between Claudia and Lucky?

- I can hear wedding bells.
It's not the voices in my head.

I think there's going
to be a wedding today.

Will you please marry me?

- We'll work
on the voice first, but yes!

- I'm so happy.

- Can I marry you
live on "Catty Man"?

- Yes, you can.
- Yes, you can marry--

- Yes, you can, Alan.

- Do you take each other
to be your lawful wedded wives?

both: I do.

- I now pronounce
you wife and wife.

- You pig slut!
[laughing]

- I know I'm tired.

Goodbye, my girl.

Stop catfishing people, yeah?

- Well, that's it.
Thanks for watching, kittens.

And remember, you stroke
my tummy, I'll stroke yours.

Meow, bye.

Sminty: Alan's called time,
and I'm still sat on stage.

I've literally blanked out
for this whole performance.

I just want a big hole
to swallow me up right now.

[tense music]

[upbeat music]

- Got it, got it,
yeah, come on!

- It's a brand-new day.

And I've woken up
with the biggest morning glory

after yesterday
because I finally felt

like I was confident
to make people laugh

and have a good time
while I'm doing it.

Do you feel like
yesterday went well?

- I think we did well.

I'm really proud
of the three of us.

I think,
fingers crossed, it will

either be a great win for
the three of us or one of us.

Hopefully, we'll get it.

- And you know what?

I'd be happy
with either one of those.

- Yeah.

- I'm at the point
where I'm so proud of Pixie.

If she wins this badge tonight,
there's a part of me

that will obviously
be pissed off.

But I'd rather it went to her
than anyone else right now.

- I just feel like
I've really proved myself now.

I feel completely euphoric.

It was the most fun thing
I've done since we got here.

And you know, I think
I "chatte" all over the stage.

Chatte is French for cat.

That was very clever, that one.

You know, we stopped
being Safe Sallies.

And now, we're becoming
Winning Wendys.

[upbeat music]

I'm pretty excited
about today's runway.

- Me too.
I love it.

- It's a quite a sentimental
one for me, actually.

Hair was where, like,
kind of drag started for me.

My hair means so much to me.

And from a very young age,
I was always

very attached to hair styling
toys and dolls with long hair.

Me and Harry growing up,
we were playing

with dolls probably until we
were about, like, five.

And then there was
this massive intervention.

And they were all
taken away from us.

And, like, our grandma
didn't think that was right.

And she would really
support our femininity.

She didn't force us
to play with footballs,

or action figures,
or anything like that.

She probably knew that
we were gonna end up queer,

or trans, or whatever
she thought we were.

We would go around grandma's
because the only thing

me and Harry
ever wanted to play with

were the curtain tassels
because they

were the only thing
that resembled hair.

And we just would put them
on our heads,

and we'd braid them,
and we'd cut them.

And she'd never
get angry at us,

even though they were
probably really expensive,

because she realized
that we were missing something.

So the concept
behind today's look

is basically a thank you
to my grandma

for giving us space
to be who we were in a time

where our parents were
really finding it difficult

to understand our nature.

Yeah, emotional runway,
but I'm really excited

to see it all come to life
with all the makeup.

- It's nice to always have
a piece of you in each runway.

- Absolutely.
- I think that for me as well.

Like, hair's such a massive
thing for me as a child.

No, you will have
a short back and sides

and look like a boy,
like every other boy.

In a Chinese family,
being a boy is,

like, such a big thing.

To be a model child
with a mushroom bowl haircut.

All that type
of stuff growing up

emphasized this idea
of masculinity.

And it became
a lot of pressure.

I think
when I was four or five,

I already knew I was gay.

And I already
started experimenting

with different ideas
about what gender was

and being told I couldn't
play with dolls, like,

being told that you
have to play with cars

and being given
a car and footballs.

I don't know what
to do with this.

- What is this?

- My natural instinct
was to throw it away.

And so I think growing up,
like, I always

wanted to experiment with hair,

but I never could
until I left home.

That's the only time
I started growing my hair.

And it was almost
like rebellion in a way

to let it grow.

I feel like my drag was

an evolution
of growing my hair,

swishing it about.

And that's why I'm really
excited to show my hair

on this runway,
because I'm really proud

of being a strong
Asian gender fluid person.

[upbeat music]

- What are you wearing tonight?
Big hair day.

- I'm, like, paying tribute
to, like, my heritage.

I'm gonna have braids
all over my body,

being proud of, like, the hair
that I have as a Black queen.

Your hair is your identity.

I'm not even gonna
use that lightly.

My hair is my image.

My hair is my Blackness.

To love the hair
that I have, obviously,

growing up in the Caribbean,
it did take me a while

to just be like,
this is who I am.

Growing up, I had
a really religious family.

They just told me, if you
want to look presentable,

you can't have long hair,
you can't have dreads.

Your hair needs to have waves.

And I just felt
I was going through

an emotional
and physical battle

with the genes I was given.

So basically,
in the Black community,

you have waves in your hair
if you brush it,

and you add styling gel,
and [indistinct],

and all these other things.

And I remember,
like, trying everything

to make the texture
of my hair look different.

Adding so many chemicals to it,
I almost lost all my hair.

And it's just ridiculous
that we're

putting ourselves through this
so that we

can be "presentable."

I still have a long way to go.

And I've lied
about my hair so much times,

like, the wig I wear
in the werkroom all the time.

- It's a wig, right?
- Yeah, it's a wig.

And like, obviously,
there's that insecurity in me

who grew up thinking, you know,
I'm never good enough already.

So like, my hair
is the last thing

I want to be worrying about.

- Like, hair for me--because
obviously, I have no hair now.

When I was younger,
I had beautiful thick,

like, auburn hair.

I loved my hair
more than anything itself.

And I had meningitis
when I was, like, 18.

I was very sick.

For a number of weeks,
I was in intensive care.

And one of the things
that never fully recovered

was my hair.

It was always
an insecurity for me.

It just got thinner,
and thinner,

and thinner progressively.

It was shattering to me,
to think, oh, God,

this is something
I'm gonna lose.

But then when I shaved it,
honestly, liberation.

It was the best decision
I ever made.

Having no hair is actually
now incredibly important

to my sense of identity.

It makes me feel
a little bit more than human.

- I don't think
I've ever seen you

with any hair on your head.

- I mean, I wasn't
as beautiful as I am now.

But you know,
I was fairly up there.

[both laugh]

- It actually has become
that way that I

bring that little element of
drag confidence into my life.

What's strange
is that sometimes,

the conformity we break
is what makes us stand out.

So that's why it's so nice
to see Baby and you doing,

like, real bold Black
inspired hair for the runway.

- This runway really means
a lot to me because I want

to give, like, I am Black,

this is me,
and I'm not ashamed of that.

- That's more than just
about your aesthetic.

That's you placing
your history on your body.

That's you telling
your story through becoming

this amazing spectacle.

And that is drag.

- That is drag.
- Right?

I love it.

[upbeat music]

[RuPaul's "Cover Girl"]

RuPaul: [singing] Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk

Head to toe,
let your whole body talk

And what?

- Welcome to the main stage
of "RuPaul's Drag Race UK."

Her claws are out tonight.

It's Michelle Visage.

- Who, me?
I'm just a little pussycat.

- [laughing]

The super "spexy" Alan Carr.

Now, Alan, I've got news
about the "Catty Man" show.

- Is it good news or bad news?

- Oh, no, it is good news, yes.

Definitely good news.

The show's been canceled.
[laughter]

- Thank God.
I thought I'd never work again.

- And the sensational
Alison Hammond, welcome.

- Babes, I am so excited.

I'm so excited for you
to give me that dress after.

- Oh, it'll cost you.

[laughter]

This week,
we challenged our queens

to improv for their nine lives.

Tonight on the runway,
the category is the Mane Event:

"Love your hair.
Hope you win."

- [laughs]

- Racers, start your engines.

And may the best
drag queen win.

- [singing]
Can you feel the love?

- Up first, Danny Beard.

- Anyone else
fancy a McDonald's?

[laughter]

- I am serving you a hairy
'80s icon realness thing.

- I think she's off
to see the "frizzard."

[laughter]

- I've got my little dog,
Dogino D'Acampo, a red wig,

and a silver lead, I do think.

- Here today, gone tomorrow.

Danny: Alison Hammond
is looking me in the eye.

She is laughing.
She is smiling.

She can see
a television star imagined.

[upbeat music]

- Up next, Cheddar Gorgeous.

- It's a back alley cat.

Cheddar: I am embodying
the Cheshire Cat.

It's not just a great hair day.

It's a great fur day.

- Oh, yes.
Take it off, babes.

- Ooh!

- Oh, wait.

- Uh-oh.

- Oh.

Oh, What's wrong?

- Oh, it's a fur ball.

It's the same color.

- Well, Michelle,
I owe you five bucks.

She does have a gag reflex.

- Told you.

- There's nothing spayed
about this pussy.

- Up next, Pixie Polite.

This reminds me
of that famous painting.

What's it called?

Oh, Penis de Milo.
- Yes.

- I am giving you
the Birth of Venus

with her iconic auburn hair.

- She's a pearl.

- I really wanted to go

from disgusting,
weird old lady

in the challenge and then
go completely the other end

and give you absolute
glamour and beauty.

And I think I'm turning it.

- She's got it.

Yeah, baby, she's got it.

[laughter]

- Dakota Schiffer.

- Babes,
you're crimping my style.

Dakota: I am giving you
a curtain tassel fancy

and serving you
Moschino-Galliano grandma.

- It's more like
Planet of the Drapes.

- It's curtain call
for the other girls.

- Pull yourself together.

[laughter]

- Up next, Baby.

- Oh, fire.

- I am serving a Grace Jones
inspired cage dress

made entirely out of dreads.

- Don't get it twisted.

- I am giving Black hair,
Black culture, Black beauty.

It's such
a proud moment for me.

- Ooh, cheeky.

- Up next, Le Fil.

- No split ends here.

Well, maybe two.

Le Fil: I am serving you
an outfit made from all

the hair from my bathroom
plug holes and any dregs

that I can pull out
of those clumps.

- Well, Ru,
he tried to tease it,

but only pissed it off.

Oh.
- Ooh.

Le Fil:
I can see eyes are popping.

I can see Alison glowing.

And they're eating this up.

Every swish of my hair
is another happy face.

- For the town's best blowie,
go to Fil.

- Up next, Black Peppa.

- I said flat-chested,
not plait-chested.

- I'm serving you
braided sculpted hair

from the darkest braids
straight down to the blondes.

- I think I saw her
in "The Brady Bunch."

[laughter]

- I wanted to give you empress.

I wanted to give you goddess.

I wanted you to give you,
bow down to me right now

because I am so stunning.

And that's why
you have to bow down to me.

- Plait's entertainment.

[laughter]

Up next, Sminty Drop.

- Ru, you know what
her favorite sport is?

- No, what?
- Cricket.

[laughter]

Sminty: The inspiration
behind my look

came from seeing a moth
eating all my clothes

in the corner of my room.

And I thought,
you're quite gorgeous.

I'm gonna turn
you into a look.

- That hair is amazing.

I just want to grab a hold
of them little ponies

and ride it.

Sminty: I'm feeling super,
super confident that the judges

are gonna eat this up.

They're gonna j'adore
the couture, mi amore.

- Looking great from her head
to her mosquito.

- Jonbers Blonde.

- My look is inspired
by the great Raine Spencer,

who was Princess Diana's
stepmother,

who always had her hair
to high heavens.

- Roots the chic-quel.

- [chuckling]

Jonbers: So I'm coming down
the runway in my big fur coat.

And then I drop it.

And they're expecting
no knickers.

Surprise, fur knickers.

- Ooh.
- Oh.

- Hair bikini.
Love that.

Jonbers: I'm feeling very itchy
in my look.

Somebody pass
the scratching poll.

- Is that Raquel Squelch?

[laughter]

- Welcome, ladies.

Based on your performances
in the challenge

and your runway presentations,
made some decisions.

[dramatic music]

When I call your name,
please step forward.

Dakota Schiffer,

Black Peppa,

Jonbers Blonde.

Ladies, you are all safe.

And you may leave the stage.

[dramatic music]

Ladykins, you represent the
tops and bottoms of the week.

Now it's time
for the judges' critiques,

starting with Cheddar Gorgeous.

- Curiosity had to lead
the whole thing off.

And in the beginning,
I thought, uh-oh,

is she overthinking this?

But I thought you gave
a lot to the character

and you went for it.

- Every time
I asked you something,

you had an answer for it.

- They never found a body
or any evidence.

- Because you had
your backstory sorted.

So well done.

- When you came out here today,
you made love to that stage.

I was feeling it.

The fur ball, loved it.

Babes, you are purr-fect.

- Thank you, Cheddar.
- Thank you.

- Up next, old Danny Beard.

- From the moment
you walked out as Mystic Mog,

I was fully invested.

You didn't miss a beat, Danny.

- Sorry to hear that.

- No, don't be sorry, Alan.
It's a good story.

- And I loved
every second of it.

- What a pleasure
it was to work with you.

I absolutely loved it.

We've got this very
weird British tradition

of having psychics
on the telly where you'll be

talking and they'll go,
"Not now, love.

Not now, love."

You know?

And people
don't even question it.

It was so funny
and totally recognizable.

I was so impressed.

- Oh, Danny, you've got
real talent, natural comedy.

This outfit tonight,
that is so up my street.

The nails, babes--

I'm a bit embarrassed
about my nails today

because you are literally
giving me a run for my money.

Smashed it.

- You were hilarious.
You were listening.

You were finding the places
to put your jokes.

I wouldn't have changed
a thing about what you did.

- Honestly,
to hear you say that,

like, I'm shocked.

So yeah, thank you.

I don't know why
it's so emotional.

Fuck's sake.

I'm always crying.

God.
Get it together, girl.

I loved it.
Thank you.

- We loved it too.
Thank you.

Up next,
Venus on the Half-Shell,

Pixie Polite.

- When you came out as Katrina,
you appeared

to be a John Waters character,
which I loved straight away.

That one bad wig into another.

- Oh!
- No!

- You're charming to watch.

- You know, the standard
was set so high for,

what is Pixie gonna do?

And you came,
and you delivered.

I'm gonna say three words,
the new sugar babes.

[laughter]

- Tonight,
you just look so stunning.

You really light up that room.

And you've really got
something special.

- You look just beautiful.

This is quite a departure.

And it's the right time
to show that versatility

in this competition.

Did you have your
makeup artist come in

and do your face tonight?

- Yeah.
I borrowed your team a 50, Ru.

[laughter]

Thank you, though.

It means the absolute world.

- Thank you, Pixie.
- Thank you so much.

- All right.
Up next, Baby.

- Hi, Baby.
- Hi, Alan.

- Now, listen, I know you were
nervous when you came out,

but boy, did we give you
a storyline to play with.

So if you were nervous,
can you imagine how amazing

you'd be if you were confident?

- I know.

- I thought you had
some moments that were okay.

- Cambodia.

- But all in all, it kind of
fell flat and was one note.

- Tonight, you look incredible.

You've got dreadlocks.

Dreadlocks are really
strong, powerful.

And that's what I see
standing in front of me,

someone strong, powerful.

- Thank you.

- I think the idea
of this outfit is good.

It could be better though.

And again, I'm gonna
echo what Michelle said.

Your character,
it was really just one note.

Moving forward,
it is all about understanding

what your objective is.

Tell me, in this competition,
what is your objective?

- My objective is just
to grow as much as possible.

Like, I know I haven't
been doing drag forever.

I just want to learn,
try to take everything on

as much as I can.

- Well, this is not
really a school, you know.

I need you girls
to come prepared.

We're looking for
the UK's next drag superstar.

And then in the process,
we can draw more out of you.

All right, thank you.

- Thank you.

- Up next, Le Fil.

- I thought
your doctor fell a bit flat.

It was glimpses there
of funny stuff, so I smiled.

But I really wanted a laugh.

- There were built-ins
with this character.

And I felt like it
was the same kind of,

oh, I'm playing a doctor,
kind of thing throughout.

- A tongue space continuum.

- I think with everything,

you've got
to have light and shade.

And I think you did
bring the shade.

We can't all be
hilariously funny.

For me, the fact that
I believed you was a doctor,

you smashed it for me.

- wow, this runway look.

- They are all sink drainers
capturing the hair

of my flatmates and me.

- I think you live with
a load of yetis, don't you?

- Now, the thought you put
into this dress is amazing.

That's what you needed
to put into this character.

And you've got to put that
into everything you do

in this competition.

Otherwise,
you'll be overshadowed.

And I'm afraid that
that's what happened tonight.

All right, thank you.
- Thank you.

- All right.
Up next, Sminty Drop.

- Catty Fisher,
it's like you came out,

you showed your face,
and then you were gone.

And that made me
really sad because it

was a great platform
for you to have fun.

- I completely understand.

I felt myself sort of mentally
check out after watching

the other two performances.

And then I sort of came out.
And I was like, oh, shit.

What do I do?
- Yeah.

- Well, you got
to remember, babes.

It there's only one of you.

Everyone else is taken.

You've just got
to own your shit.

Be in that moment.

- When you were twerking
so unenthusiastically,

it was funny.

But then I sort of realized,
oh, that's not the character.

You just don't
want to be there.

So I was like, oh, okay.

Listen, can you imagine if you
made that character as clever

and as witty
as that outfit there,

you'd blow everyone's mind.

- Tonight was not
a good night for you,

but you look fantastic.

It's absolutely outrageous.

- I was going for
Mothy Kendoll, Mothy Kendoll.

- Oh, Mothy Kendoll, you're
from the Haus of Kendoll.

- Yeah, Haus of Mothy Kendoll.

- Can you do the thing for me?

- Rahr!

[laughter]

- That's a lot better.

- That'll be in the promo.

Well, thank you, ladies.

I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck
in the werkroom,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

- I am so relieved.

I don't think
anyone expected me

to do well at this challenge.

- When Ru said safe,
the relief I felt--

- I mean, I'm not gonna lie.

I did actually
kind of want to be in the top

because obviously, I was safe
and then bottom, bottom.

And now I'm safe.
Apparently, I'm a safe bottom.

Condom,
condoms for everyone now.

[dramatic music]

- Bitch.

- Hey, everyone.

- Yo.
- Hi.

- You all right, babes?

- I am desperate
to hear what they said.

- How were your first
critiques, Danny?

- Weirdly emotional,
like Ru said,

I was a comedy legend,

and they wouldn't
change a thing.

- That's incredible.
- Impeccable critiques.

- That is amazing, babe.

- You should be
so proud of yourself.

- Thank you, I am.

I've been waiting a long time
to be on this show.

And I never thought someone
like me would be on here.

Like, I'm not a Ru girl.
Like, look at me.

To hear RuPaul say
those things, like,

it means a lot to me.

Drag means a lot to me.

It's literally my whole life.

I'm sorry to cry.

Like, I'm fucking--
if I'm fucking safe, I cry.

If I'm fucking
in the top, I cry.

[laughter]

- Pixie, how about you?

- You look so amazing.

- Ru really praised me
for my makeup,

which is something
I was not expecting

or, like, even thought,
like, coming into this.

I find it really hard
to love myself

and how I look in my body.

It's just really nice
to feel beautiful for, like,

maybe, like,
properly for the first time

and actually believe it because
it's coming from these people.

[soft music]

- Because you know what, Pixie?

You were amazing.

I was so grateful for you.

But, Danny, Danny Beard, you--

you were amazing.

- You're such a natural at it.

And it's honestly--
it's really good to watch.

Like, I loved it.

- And just--
it's just so there.

- Hello?

Am I--hello?

- That character
was just perfect.

- Am I not also in the top?
What's happening?

Hello?

- Well,
Ru specifically did say to me,

actually,
it's a good time to be

coming out through the pack.

- Yeah, she said something
like you smell of shit though.

[laughter]

- And what about
the other critiques?

- By the time it got to me,
it was basically that it

came across
that I was unprepared.

- You're not
an unprepared person.

- Yeah, exactly.

But I feel like--
yeah, tonight,

I will be lip-syncing, so--

- Sminty, how do you feel?

- They were obsessed
with your looks.

- They were literally
gagged over my look.

And to be fair, so am I.
They should have been.

[laughter]

My performance was
a load of cat shite.

But my look on the runway
was literally

the best of the night.

Is it 50% on the mark?

I don't know.

- This look is impeccable,
but I think you--

it sounds--

- You think I'm lip-syncing?
- I think you were the--

I think you were
the worst yesterday.

- Yeah, that's fine.
I completely agree.

- I think
this look saved Sminty.

I'm not gonna lie.

- I mean,
I fucking hope it saved me.

Geez louise.

- Baby, what's going on?
Girl, you've not said much.

- Like, a lot is
going through my head

right now
because obviously, like,

last week, I was there,
like, on stage

about getting,
like, amazing critiques

about how fucking
talented I am.

And this week, it's just like,
this look would be better.

- They're pushing you, bitch.
They want to see more from you.

They like you.

- And obviously, like,
when she asked me, like,

what I'm doing
in the competition,

I'm trying to give, like,
a really, like, political,

like, polite answer.

- Maybe they were looking for,
like, what you want from it.

But I think you gave them
an answer that you

thought they wanted to hear.

- I did.

Obviously, like,
I do have anxiety.

I've lived a whole life
before I came here.

Do you get what I mean?

So obviously, me saying that
in that way to give them

what they want is a reflection
of my own trauma

that I've been through.

I've always had, like,
a weird relationship

with, like, authority figures.

So having that kind of tone,
I revert back to, like,

ten-year-old me.

And I'm, like, trying
to just say the right thing,

so I don't get in trouble.

- I'm so sad.
Both my teammates--

- No, but like, for me,
like, at the end of the day,

this is what we signed up for.

But except for this
is my first time,

like, actually being worried
about being in the bottom.

I'm like, oh, shit.
- You know what, though?

If it is you two,
I think we are

in for a show tonight.

- Sminty, if it's you,
you make sure those things

waddle on your head.

- Bitch, if it's me,
I'm going to absolutely fight

to the last nail.

I'm not going nowhere.

- Manchester's in the house.

- All right.

Now just
between us squirrel friends

what do you think?

Cheddar Gorgeous.

- Once she realized
this wasn't,

like, the actor's studio,
she started giving into it.

And I really enjoyed it.

- I just thought
she was on point

with regards to her character.

She had everyone's back.

She was funny.

- And on the runway,
as always with Cheddar,

we got something extra.

We got a regurgitated fur ball.

- I could have used a few
more jokes in her improv.

But on the runway,
she's always, always fabulous.

All right.

Up next, Danny Beard.

- I'm gonna go
out there and say that

Danny Beard was the highlight
of "Catty Man" for me.

- It's like good tennis.

You hit the ball to him,
and he hit it straight back

with something even funnier.

- On the runway, it was like
Tina Turner had arrived.

Had hair on the arms.
I loved it.

- It was like Tina Turner
and King Kong had a baby.

- Exactly.

- The moment Danny turned
that corner on "Catty Man,"

brilliant.

Very good night
for Danny Beard.

All right, Pixie Polite.

- From the beginning,
you can kind of see her

almost being people's shadow.

And I thought tonight,
she took the main stage.

- On the runway,
it was just perfect.

You could kind of see
her coming to her own.

Oh, it's just
so beautiful to watch.

- Showed off that lovely body.

I love the pearls,
but disappointed

with the empty clam.

[laughter]

There, I've said it.

- And the makeup, my goodness.

I mean, I've seen
pictures of her before.

It was not this.
I'll tell you that.

All right.
Let's move on down to Baby.

- So, Baby, for me, she was
really trying to go for it.

I think the problem
was she didn't know

what she was going for and
therefore couldn't achieve it.

- She didn't have
much character depth.

But boy, did she throw
her heart and soul into it.

So that has to be commended.

- As for the catwalk,
I loved the dreadlocks.

It was powerful.
It was strong.

- I just think that her outfit
needed to be elevated,

as did her improvisation.

- All right.
Let's talk about Le Fil.

Le Fil's performance
as a doctor was flat.

In some ways, I wanted
to get the defibrillators out

and try and put some life
into the performance.

- As for the runway,
we wanted hair.

He gave us hair.

- I love the drain plugs.

I love the story that he told.

- So brilliant.

It was so prepared for this.

That's why I equated
putting this outfit together

with putting
together the doctor.

This was not funny.

So let's move on
to Sminty Drop.

- A real show
of two halves for me.

Really disappointing
in Catty Man.

But wow, what a runway look.

- We know she's always gonna
present on this runway

an immaculate conception.

And that's what it was tonight.

- So stunning.

And I'm just sad
that Catty Man went

so badly wrong for her, really.

- And there's so many things
she could have done.

We know that she understands
how to fully realize them

because we got to see
this outfit on the runway,

which was absolutely gorgeous.

All right.

Silence.
I made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

[tense music]

Cheddar Gorgeous, you're safe.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you.

- Danny Beard,
in the challenge,

you tickled all our bellies.

Condragulations.

You are the winner
of this week's challenge.

[cheering]

And you've earned
a coveted Ru Peter badge.

[dramatic music]

You may join the other girls.

- I am chuffed to bits.

This has opened the door now.
Buckle up.

Call the fire brigade
because Danny Beard is about

to set this werkroom on fire.

- Well done.

- Pixie Polite, you are safe.

- Thank you very much.

- You may join the other girls.

[tense music]

Baby, your runway was bold,

but your performance
left us cold.

Le Fil,
your runway gave us life,

but your doctor flatlined.

Sminty Drop, on the runway,
you drew us in like a moth

to a flame,
but in the challenge,

you got burned.

Le Fil,

you are safe.

You may join the other girls.

Baby and Sminty Drop,
I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are both up
for elimination.

- Once that track starts,
I know that it's game on.

And this may not be school,
but class is gonna be

on session on that stage.

I'll tell you that for free.

- Two queens stand before me.

I've consulted with the judges,
but the final decision

is mine to make.

Ladies, this is
your last chance to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

[dramatic music]

The time has come
for you to lip-sync

for your life.

Sminty: I do not want to go
home in this amazing outfit.

Put your hands up
because this is a robbery.

- Ladies, good luck.

And don't fuck it up.

singer: Take, take, take,
take-take, t-t-take, take

Take or leave us

Only please believe us

We ain't never gonna
be respectable

It's a occupation

We're a dancing nation

We keep the pressure
on every night

Explanations are complications

We don't need to know
the where or why

Take, take, take,
take-take, t-t-take, take

Taking chances, bold advances

Don't care if you think
we're out of line

Conversation is interrogation

Get out of here,
we just don't have the time.

Take, take, take,
take-take, t-t-take, take

Take or leave us

Only please believe us

We ain't never gonna
be respectable

Like us, hate us,
but you'll never change us

We ain't never gonna
be respectable

Respectable

Respectable

- Oh!
- Ah!

- Ooh!

singer: Presentation
is just frustration

Give us the music,
and we're all right

On each occasion,
for your information

We can look after
ourselves all right

Take, take, take,
take-take, t-t-take, take

Take or leave us

Only please believe us

We ain't never gonna
be respectable

Respectable

Take or leave us

Only please believe us

We ain't never gonna
be respectable

Respectable

Like us, hate us,
but you'll never change us

We ain't never gonna
be respectable

Alison: Whoa!

Yes.

[cheering]

Definitely not respectable.

Wow.

Whoo!

- Ladies,
I've made my decision.

[dramatic music]

- Baby, shantay, you stay.

- Thank you.

- You may join the other girls.

[soft music]

Sminty Drop, you are fabulous.

Now, sashay away.

- Thank you so much
for having me.

I'll never forget it.

- You're a star, baby.
- Whoo!

- I love you, Sminty.

- You're gonna be
walking the runways.

Honestly, girl, you'll get it.
- Amazing.

[laughter]

- We love you, girl!

- Oh, God.

[soft music]

- This did not match up
to my fantasy.

But you know what?

I left looking this good.

Honestly, just happy that
I've met a bunch of sisters

that I can call family.

They are--oh, God.

Not that again.

They're literally
the best bunch of people

I've ever met.

- Condragulations, ladies.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna
love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

all: Amen.

- All right.
Now let the music play.

RuPaul: [singing]
To-to-to-to the moon

To the moon, to the moon

Come on and take me away

To-to-to-to the moon

- Next time
on "RuPaul's Drag Race UK"...

For this week's maxi challenge,

you'll be starring in
"Lairy Poppins: The Rusical,"

singing live.

- Are you from Liverpool?
- Yeah.

- I love the accent.
- Do you?

I think he's looking
at me thinking,

is the strictly curse
becoming a drag race curse?

- You were spiraling
down a well

with nobody to rescue you.

- You are an utter,
utter out and out pro.

And you alone have
been worth my visit.