All language subtitles for Miss.Sixty.2014.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

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It's true that deep inside...

we never grow older than 18.

For she’s a jolly good fellow,
For she’s a jolly good fellow,

And so say all of us.

- What's that?
- Your retirement party.

I'm not retiring, Bernhard.
You fired me.

I wanted to harmonise things.
"Marlies or me." Your words.

- This way you get your full pension.
- Bernhard! I was bluffing!

If I'd fired Marlies?
Would that be a bluff?

OK, I've learned my lesson.

But get rid of the kids’ party?

I've lost enough work time already.

Bernhard, this
workplace squabble...

- You broke her left thumb.
- She touched my centrifuge!

Luise, you’re a great
biologist, but in 40 years

you’ve not made one friend here.

- Is this Facebook?
- I’m worried about you, Luise.

You’re socially inept,
you’re angry.

- Sarah...
- Your wife? What’s she got to do with it?

See? That’s the problem
your staff have.

- You can’t even listen.
- Yes I can. - Without interrupting?

Sarah studied psychology before
she quit to have my children.

I have a strong connection to
my feminine side,

but Sarah says I missed the signs:

it’s clear you have penis envy.

Many working women of
your age have this anger.

A feeling of social injustice.

The fact men can have everything:
family and career.

While women must make sacrifices.

Now, Sarah rightly states, you’re
nearing the end of your life,

and perhaps you’re looking back.

Anger management.

Sarah says it’s never too late
to heal old wounds.

- May I speak now?
- Yes.

Penis envy!

Where did Sarah study?
Late 19th Century Vienna?

The only thing men have
and I don’t is

prostate cancer.

That much? Come on, Christian,

I’m not paying that much.

You’re restoring a print,
not Rembrandt himself.

Yes, I know I’m funny. If my jokes
were as laughable

as your prices, I’d close
the gallery and tour.

OK, I can live with that.

Good, I’ll send it over tomorrow.

When is Kramer coming
to frame the pictures?

I want to ensure
the Bosch collection

coincides with the retrospective.

11.30. I’ve postponed your lunch.

I hope that wasn’t wrong.

Wrong...

is a very flexible word.

Wait.

Isn’t that awesome?

A guy at Uni posted it.

Listen to how it rocks!

I can forward it if you like?

It’s perfect for here.
It lends a little atmosphere.

It's...

How long’s the artist been dead?

Maybe fifteen years?

You’re more art dealer
than gallery owner, right?

More buy and sell.

You’re not
really part of the scene.

Oh, I’m talking too much, right?

Maybe it’s better to pick up again
at my place later.

Now you’ll always think of us
when you hear this music.

And how you fuck me here.

Hi, Mum. I’m still in the office.

Yes, they threw a small
party for me...

and now I’ve got to clear up.

Yes, I’ll tell you everything when I...

Milk and salt.

No, I won’t forget.

See you soon. Bye, Mum.

Hello! Stop!

What happened?

- Were you mugged?
- No, no. Jogging.

I can’t move. Can you help me?

- Can’t you call someone?
- There’s no reception.

I have to go shopping.

- The shop at the station.
- Know what milk costs there?

Will you help me?

- Can you walk?
- What does it look like?

No need to be rude.
My car's over there.

If you can make it, I’ll drive
you to the hospital.

I guess it’s lumbago.
My mother always gets it.

- It could be worse. The doctor...
- Yes, yes. Whatever.

You’re not talking anymore.

Did you write this?

You can’t be serious. I was rude,
OK? It was unnecessary.

I lay in the bushes 40 minutes.
You were the fourth to pass.

The other three wore headphones.

OK. What will the doctor give me?

An injection. To relax the muscles.

- That helps my mother.
- Your mother’s still alive?

- Yes, why?
- Ah, nothing.

- I mean, that’s unusual.
- What?

At your age?
Your mother’s still alive?

- Fill this out for your husband.
- She’s not my wife!

- You’re not married?
- I’d rather stab myself with a knife.

She doesn’t even know me.

He was lying in the bushes.
I should’ve left him to rot.

You should have seen how
she smiled at me.

She stuck to me
like a 70s polyester suit.

How quick can you fix this?
I’ve got an appointment.

Mum? Doris?

It’s already started!
Ah, birthday girl.

You remembered the milk and salt.

I thought you’d forget.
How was your last day?

Was it a fun party?

Get anything?
You’ve not brought anything.

No bag. No presents?

Did you drink anything?
You smell a bit of smoke.

The key belongs here.

So, nothing at all.
Hurry up! Come on!

Hello, Mum!

St. Augustin

The little albino sea
bear from Dortmund Zoo...

Eared seals. Eared seals!

Nose breathers...

- Three toed fins.
- That's the right answer.

Who comes up with this stuff?

Did you make a wish?

A quick death.

I got the cruise catalogues
I told you about.

If we book today we get 30% off

and an all-you-can-eat voucher
for the pool buffet.

You’re perfect.

You’re sweet.

This is the Breakfast Show
on 95.8 at 8.51am.

What do you get when you lock a lioness
in a cage with a male tiger?

What kept you?
I had to piss in the sink.

I moved the dishes.

Here. Read it. It’s the migration
policy article I worked on.

The interview with Hamze Btyci
really paid off.

Dad?

- Dad?
- Yes, sure, I’m really curious.

What is it?

Romy.

Max.

- Is that organic?
- Of course. - It’s not.

Romy’s studying Art History

and works at the gallery.

- What have you done with your hair?
- Nothing.

I like it.

I’m going for a quick shower,
if that’s OK?

Stale smoke, sex...

it’s a killer mix.

Isn’t she fantastic?

- She’s 12.
- Come on. Don’t be so uptight.

I’ve never felt so alive.

Stop it!

What? It’s reassuring.

You always look so happy
when you’re asleep.

Get dressed. We have a busy day.

We’re going to have so much fun!

I heard that.

Holidays, weekends,
Christmas, overtime.

This job has stolen
almost 40 years.

Now we can make up
for lost time together.

Shoulders straight!

That’s right!

And up!

Do that again and I’ll break your
crippled fingers like firewood.

- Hello?
- Luise?

Marlies here. You left a few
things behind...

Marlies, put them aside. I’ll pick
them up next time I’m near.

I’ll be there in five minutes!

Ah, our part-time psychologist.

How pathetic!

Luise!

- Anything interesting?
- Research papers.

I didn't expect you so soon.

I still had a few things here.

I was thinking...

If the budget cuts have led to...

I mean... I could... well...

Even without...

Just a couple of days a week?

Thanks for the offer.
Everything’s fine.

I hope there’s no
bad feelings between us.

No more than usual.

That’s the Luise I love!

- Luise!
- Marlies.

Satisfied? I’ve removed
every trace of my useless stuff.

Not everything.

I was revising a few
of your research projects

and found yet more
useless stuff of yours.

Throw away or donate?

I contacted the women
you tested.

- Most want to donate.
- Donate? They’re still healthy.

20 years at the same temperature.

- They’re as fresh as new.
- What’s your problem with me?

I know you started
this coup to oust me.

The others already hated you.
I just printed the form.

They couldn’t even choose
someone qualified for this job.

That’s all they’ve done 20 years:
print out forms.

You really think you’re special.

I may not be so qualified, but

at least I’m not alone.

Yes, I have a husband.
One who loves me.

You’ll grow old alone.

Still here?
Any problems?

Marlies drank Formaldehyde again.

- What's that?
- Luise's eggs.

Unfertilised.
And as ice cold as she is.

That’s funny! For a moment I thought...

Marlies, Keep them cool!

Are you crazy?

You've no idea what it means
to care for someone else.

- Day and night.
- Know what I thought on the bog?

None of it really
interested you.

But it's true!
We’re the establishment!

We’ve become what
we rebelled against at 20, 30.

No idea about me,
but you’ve become a hairdresser!

- I’ll bring an ashtray.
- I have more hair. So?

Be serious. I mean real changes.
Something existential.

You think it changes anything,
if you find

- a new Damien Hirst pant-pooper?
- What do I know?

It’s just...
You know...

I feel like I’ve woken up
after 20 years of sleepwalking.

All that energy.
The feeling anything was possible.

It’s all about pussy, right?

There’s nothing new any more.

It’s all been done a million times.
Art is nothing but a pile

of self-serving, overrated shit,

used by the "elite" to decorate
the white walls

of their miserable existence.
That's all.

I’m always amazed how much
you love your own voice.

Don’t you know why we rebelled?

You mean the two idiots who thought

they could change the world?

Better than two old farts
waiting to die.

I want to be surprised again.

Give someone young
and fresh a chance.

I want to believe in something.

There’s a guy called Jon Schmidt.

- Has he already exhibited?
- No.

But I still think
it’s just about pussy

Max. Good article.
I hope you’ve got a sequel.

- Yes. Almost ready.
- Yes? Great!

Maybe use more facts.
As always, more research.

Your style is good.
It’s different.

Honest.
People like it. I do.

Cool. Thanks.

Boss, I have an idea.

We could appeal to
more older people online.

- Yes?
- Right. And...?

We’re losing potential
ad revenue.

If print declines further,

we’ll have people on board.

That’s hardly new.
What else?

Meet with the older readers...

Ask them which subjects
we’ve so far failed to address.

- Find a new approach.
- Yes, exactly.

Prepare something. If it's
good, I'll show the ad team.

- Cool.
- Hello.

And? Why do you look
so pleased with yourself?

I’ve found a reason to date my Dad.

How do I take
the batteries out?

You can’t. That’s the point.

Only I can programme it.

To avoid teenage pregnancies,

young girls must comprehend
the condition’s full extent.

Chronic sleep loss.
Total loss of freedom and identity.

Their life will never be the same.

Tell your daughter
to be gentle with the baby.

It’s not had it easy until now.

Are you home?

Everyone was asking after you.

I said I’ve not seen you for days.

I said I saw you more
while you were still working.

At least ring the bell.
The key’s only for emergencies.

I could’ve guessed. The internet.

What junk are you wasting
your hard earned cash on now?

Sperm.

Sit down, Mum.
I have something to say.

- Are you taking drugs?
- No, Mum.

It’s not easy to say,
so I’ll just say it.

You’re going to be a grandmother.

I knew it! That first year
after Ipswich Uni?

Is it a boy or a girl?
How old?

My God, it must be 30 already!

I could be a great grandmother!

Does it even know I exist?
Was it adopted?

My God, is it coming here?

The mess here!
You have to help!

Mom! You’re not a granny yet.

Sperm.

We never talked about it, but

I always thought
as a molecular biologist

you knew all about these things.

With or without sperm,
the timespan for a woman

to get pregnant...

Mum, you don't believe
I need sex education

at the age of sixty.

Listen. Listen to me carefully?

I’ll only explain this once.

And when I’m done,
I’ll answer all your questions.

Then we’ll never mention it again.
Is that clear?

I’m not stupid.

When I was 40, I had the chance
to freeze my eggs for research.

Now I find out they still exist.
Deep frozen. As fresh as new.

- But aren’t you...
- I’m too old?

Four years ago,
a British psychologist

aged 63 had a healthy
boy called James.

With donor’s eggs and
her second husband’s sperm.

I have the eggs. I just need sperm.

- That sounds very romantic.
- My dear mother,

the oldest mother
is a 74 year old Indian

who bore her own grandchild,

because her daughter-in-law
was infertile.

- I need a drink.
- Yes.

Every second Hollywood actress
has twins at the age of 55.

I’m just five years older.

The sperm bank
the institute works with

checks each donor’s
last three generations.

I have the code.
I pick one, pay,

and then the sperm
is on its way by courier.

- By courier? Where to?
- To Munich.

I was tested there last Monday.

I have a 38 year
old’s constitution.

I’m on hormone treatment
for my hormonal balance.

- Is he a good doctor?
- The best in his field.

We met a few years ago at
a conference in Buenos Aires.

- A very nice man.
- Why didn’t you marry?

Mum! Your only daughter is planning
your only grandchild!

- And what about our cruise?
- We can still do that.

- What will people think?
- I couldn’t care less.

It sounds a lot
like a new research project.

Mum, I know how excited you were
about my retirement.

But we’ll definitely spend
more time together.

Should I look for sperm too?

Most people play Scrabble.

Thanks for coming. I’m
sure the gallery’s busy.

- So what’s this about?
- Work.

- A new format for older people...
- Older people?

You know what I mean.
Ageing hippies, retired radicals.

Who’s talking about retirement?

Frans...

This isn’t just about you.

It’s about your generation.

Born after the war.

Their bad relationships
with parents.

Your mother
romanticised families.

She tried to sit us round a table

to talk through our problems.

She’s a therapist.
What did you expect?

Good point.

Did she tell you about the house
on the Swedish island?

- No.
- She rented it

and invited my parents
as a surprise.

I lay awake at nights
fantasising about ways

to batter my father
with a dried fish.

- Why are you laughing?
- Hey!

At last! What took you so long?

We missed you so much!

Do you always wear suits?

You prefer hoodies
and baggy jeans?

The man’s 60!

Don't act like I’ve turned
off my hearing aid.

- You have a hearing aid?
- No!

You’re absolutely right:
expensive suits, Cashmere socks.

- When did I grow up?
- Thirty years ago.

We can all count, Max. I’m 60. So?

Must I wear a pensioner’s
uniform the rest of my life

- so I don’t embarrass my son?
- Yes.

See you at home.

Maybe I should sleep
at home tonight.

Ah, let him be. Forget it.
He’ll survive. Really.

He just needs a little time.

So who’s winning the election now?

I never knew choosing sperm
was so tiring.

Astronaut. Astrophysicist.

Composer. Ballet dancer.
Washing machine repairman?

Well, ours is always broken, so...

Brain surgeon.

What? We’re nearly finished.

Oh, I don’t know.
Maybe you're right.

I mean, by my critieria
it’s logical

to look for the best for the baby.

- But?
- But whoever the father is,

- I’m still the mother.
- And?

And maybe that’s too one-sided.

We should look for genes so
the kid can just be

as normal as possible.

A kid should have friends,
not spend his days in a lab.

Yes, I know. Just like me.

Another reason
to choose someone

completely average.

You’re perfect.
But you were never normal.

This one.

Shit.

- Everything OK?
- Yes, go back to bed.

Should I call a doctor?

It's from Romy.
I can’t find my glasses.

It’s 4am!
Go back to bed! Please!

Your back? I’ll fetch the tablets.

- That’s private!
- Want to know what she wrote?

Yes. And?

Oh, no.

- And? What’s she saying? Tell me.
- It’s over.

You’re reading too much
into things and...

And what?

She’d rather keep her job,
if that' s OK...

Go back to bed, OK?

- Are those my boots?
- Is that a problem?

We’re the same size.

Please don’t say
you’re doing it for Romy.

You never liked her.

- So it’s my fault?
- You certainly weren’t very helpful.

I think that’s...

Yes. That’s him.

- What should I do?
- No idea.

Walk behind him and
see if he’s nice.

That can’t be true!

What the hell’s that on his head?

What?

Luise?

- This is a bad joke, right?
- What?

A million people in this city,

- and of all of them I had to...
- Luise?

Luise. What’s going on?

Luise?

Disconnected.

Frans! Frans!

ACCIDENT & EMERGENCY

Got anything
to remove blood?

There’s a new market.
A Casualty Department cleaners.

- But I thought...
- We’re not!

He nearly ran me over.

She’s stalking me! She got
my address from the form.

Right. Dream on.

The last time anyone
dreamed of you,

he wasn’t born.

The time that inspired
this Miami Vice outfit?

- Classic midlife crisis.
- Midlife?

How old’s he going to be? 150?

My goodness, your hand!

Don’t worry. Lots of people can’t
look at blood.

- He’ll be normal in a moment.
- Normal? I doubt it.

Hard to believe you’re his son.

He’s OK if you get to know him.

What about dinner
as an apology for this trouble?

Are you trying to set me up?

OK, not his finest hour, but...

- He has qualities.
- Nothing personal.

He’s just not my type.

Take a seat, please?
The insurance form needs filling.

Not her type.

Sorry I’m late.

- This is...?
- Jon.

Great. Lovely you’re here.

Professor Dünker told me
all about your work.

So, Jon.

I assume you’ve brought
us a sample of your work?

No.

Then how will we know...

You won’t.

- My work’s conceptual.
- And the concept is...?

you don’t know the concept.

Is everything OK?

The text message, I mean.

It's not going to be
an issue, is it?

Of course. Everything’s fine.

Anything else?
I’ve got some papers.

Not her type.

I don’t believe it...

Would little Willy’s mother please
collect him from the Information Desk?

What?
Never seen a pregnant woman?

And?

Oh. It’s you.
I barely recognised you.

You look different somehow.
You're lopsided.

I don’t want to talk about it.

- You're stalking me.
- You forgot this.

Now you crouch by
nursing bras

waiting for the right moment
to remind me.

What do you mean,
I’m not your type?

- Which word don’t you understand?
- ‘Not’.

OK, good. Where shall I start?

You’re rude, have no dress sense,

I find you physically unattractive
and you ran me over in your car.

- I’m not attractive?
- No, not to me.

Then name someone
you do find attractive.

- I’m listening.
- Steve McQueen.

He’s dead!

So you think 'The Deer Hunter'
is a racist film?

I didn’t say racist. I said
it’s ridiculous

to portray Americans as
victims of the Vietnam War.

- What about their camps?
- But that’s not what it’s about!

It’s not a statement about war!
It’s about friendship, home,

the uprooting of the familiar.

- I disagree.
- I’m right and you’re not.

- Have you decided?
- I have.

You’re the most arrogant
arsehole I’ve ever met.

- And to eat?
- Penne Arrabiata and a green salad.

So what’s this all about?

- I was never pregnant. I wanted to try it.
- And?

Your son must make you proud.

He’s very decent.

- That’s rare for someone of his age.
- He’s OK.

- Wasn’t so good at school...
- He had top grades...

We talked about it in the hospital.

Middle of the day
and you’re not working.

I thought you were
a super-scientist.

- A retired super-scientist.
- Aren’t you young for a pensioner?

But too old to have a mother?

You’re too old for sex,
but a few more years in a lab?

You’re so charming.

You bring out my best.

I was fired, but they called it
early retirement.

Sixty?

Yes. God.
It sounds so grown up.

How do you want to die?

In my sleep. Like my granddad,

not awake, screaming
like the others in his car.

You’re not so bad when you laugh.

And you’re likeable
when you’re funny.

It was an old joke.
Luckily you didn’t know it.

Honestly, recently, I feel like
an old joke myself.

When I was young,
I’d look at a room

and I was perhaps
the best looking there.

As years pass
it happens less and less.

Then one day it stops entirely.

You never think about it again.

I just wanted to be
the most intelligent.

You’re a peculiar woman, Luise.

Thank you.

Just to be sure:
this wasn’t a date, right?

- Because I’m in love with someone.
- Someone other than yourself?

- Hard to fathom, eh?
- Does he love you?

Very funny. It’s a ‘She’.

- But we’ve split up. It’s oddly very exciting.
- How?

Men must hunt.

Did you really say that?

- Law of the jungle.
- Did we just return to the ‘50s?

I didn’t demonstrate
for women’s rights

to play childish
gender games.

The demos were childish,
not the games.

We were kids!

I was in the Communist party!
Look at me now!

- You compare communism to feminism?
- No, being old to being young.

OK.

And you think
she loves you too?

Before we continue this personal
chat, can we start again?

Frans.

My God. It’s no marriage proposal.

- Luise.
- OK. So...

She’s called Romy.

I've got to pee to take
the pressure off the story.

If the waiter comes, order wine.

Yes.

Another bottle of wine, please.

- So you’re not pregnant?
- If I was?

Come on.
Tell the truth.

I’ve had weird looks all day,

- but I can take it.
- Seriously?

- Why not?
- I’ll get the wine.

No, no. Spit it out.

It’s not about how people see you.

It’s about
how the child feels.

At school, when kids say,

“Here’s your gran.”
The kid has to say,

“That’s not Gran, that’s Mum.”
They’ll die laughing.

And if he’s a boy,
he must defend you.

Shut your mouth and bring wine.

So. Her name is Romy,
and she has skin like...

like Carrara marble...

like alabaster.
You’re always wondering..

did Michelangelo
make you or are you real?

Like a Madonna, so carnal, so sensual...

so young...

Hey, Luise.

Great to see you.

- Is he here?
- Yes... Denis!

I wasn’t sure
I understood you on the phone.

Why exactly do you want
to borrow my grandchild?

It’s part of my anger
therapy.

I took your wife’s advice.

I’m so proud of you.

Just hand him over, Bernhard.

Hello, Denis. I’m Luise.

Right...

His mother said no fast food,
and no petting strange animals.

So you know I’m not really angry.

A St. Christopher, to protect you.

Wherever life leads you.

No more toilet paper.

Jon, I didn’t see
you there.

I'm here.

Thank you. You’re an angel.

- Is there progress?
- Does art require progress?

I’ll be right back.

No sugar... for me.

Why stick a piece of Medieval
metal through your tongue?

Massaging the clitoris with it
leads to multiple orgasms.

Ecstasy.

Apparently
better than drugs.

- Apparently?
- Apparently.

If you ever change your mind
about us, I would...

It would never have worked.

Romy. I want to be fair.

There’s a molecular biologist,

and she’s mad about me.

Thank God! I was worried about
hurting you if...

you saw me with Dirk.

I didn’t know old people
like candyfloss too.

And how old am I?

Our teacher asked us once.

Marvin said 56. But she was 32.

Then she started to cry,
and ran out of the room.

Then she was off sick for a week.

What normally happens
at weekends?

After brushing my teeth,
I go down for breakfast.

Then I’m quiet and pretend not
to watch TV...

'til Mum and Dad get up.

And during the week?

- Who takes you to school?
- Magda.

- That’s your Mum’s name?
- It’s our au-pair’s.

- Who meets you at school?
- Magda.

- Dinner? - Magda. Bedtime?
- Magda.

You must really like Magda.

She’s OK. When she’s not drunk.

Come, baby, come.
Come here, come.

I don't know how this works!

Come here, you.

Luise? We need to speak
urgently.

Yes... Yes... So where are you?

Luise! Do you know how long
it took to find this playground?

Where are we anyway?

It’s a while since I read
the feminist manifesto, but...

- aren’t such clothes forbidden?
- It’s an experiment.

- What’s up? Can’t your problem wait?
- No. She has a ‘Dirk’.

A shitty masseur, physio, whatever.

20, probably. A sixpack,
all his own hair.

20? Why’d a grown up woman
want a 20 year old?

- Yeah, Romy’s 26.
- Who’s Romy?

Tell me, do you hear anything
anyone says to you?

Romy...

- Romy’s the woman I love.
- She’s 26?

- This friendship of ours won’t work.
- 26? So?

- When I told her about us...
- Us?

I may have exaggerated
our relationship.

- To make her jealous.
- Of a 60 year old?

I only mentioned the biology stuff.

- And now?
- And now?

So what’s our plan?
I need your help!

Excuse me.

Your son's on the slide
and won’t let the other kids past.

You can’t leave me standing here!

My heart’s torn
into a thousand pieces.

Get a massage from Dirk or something.

- Quickly!
- Brilliant!

He’s really spoiling
the kids’ fun.

Yes, I need a phone number.

What’s she doing now?

Wait, my little angel, I’m coming.

Don’t ask.

Did you at least
have a lovely day?

The loveliest
day of my life.

Except when Luise danced naked
on the table at McDonalds.

That was a joke, Bernhard.

Thank you for a wonderful day.

Luise?

I spoke to Marlies.

Don’t do it. Don’t be a fool.

Entirely between us.
And entirely honestly.

If I were a man,
would you say that?

With that worried look, and

that disgust in your voice?

- Erm, no...
- Thank you.

I never want
to discuss this topic again.

And now the other side...

You stupid idiot.

Dad, you were late last night.
Romy... Are you back together?

Good. She wasn’t right for you.

I know I wasn’t supportive, but...

You were like a teenager.
It freaked me out.

And Dirk? How was he?

Tell me. You've dragged me into
your sordid schemes

and now I'm as addicted as a
Mexican maid to a TV show.

So...

- What’s the latest twist?
- I was drunk.

In which city d
id Lena Meier-Landruth defend

her Eurovision Song Contest title
in 2011?

Was it Detmold, Dortmund or Düsseldorf?

It was Düsseldorf.
He’d already said it.

How were songwriters Degenhard
and Kardinal related...?

Cousins.

Were they father and son,
siblings or cousins?

I’ll go with siblings.

Which animals...?

Do you have painkillers?

Koi carp! Koi carp!

Isn’t it too early for TV?

I bet you think I’m an old fool.

- What was that?
- Age spot.

- He’s annoying me.
- Behave yourself, Mum.

Small one for pain.
Big one’s antibiotics.

- Any allergies?
- Thank you.

Bell.

You’ve not even heard
the question.

By the way, I don’t think
you’re an old fool.

You were drunk and in love.
Both provoke stupidity.

Steve McQueen?

Shut up and drink your wine.

Can you read my mind?

We were together a couple of years,
then he went back to his wife.

It didn’t really bother me.

My job was always my first love.

I’ve always lived
in the present.

I’ve never looked back before

and questioned my decisions.

Oddly, it helps to know that
his marriage is a success.

Must it always be so complex?

Or is it just our generation that’s
paralysed by these endless choices?

It was always this complex.

And you?

No grand, true love so far?

I never thought I’d be living
alone at 60,

with my mother
just one floor below.

It could be worse.

- How?
- You could have cats.

I think she still loves me.

- Romy.
- I doubt she ever loved you.

- What?
- Come on.

Young women don’t
love old men

- with weak bladders and saggy skin.
- Let it out!

It was just infatuation.
She felt flattered

that this wise,
experienced man of the world

was interested in her.

And she won’t even love Dirk.
It’ll be a younger man.

You’ve no idea
how women tick.

Dating Steve McQueen doesn't mean
you can judge normal women.

- Normal?
- Normal.

And if Romy told me
she never loved you?

She won’t.
It’s not true.

So it’s OK to ask her?

Please. Go right ahead.

There. That’s her.

- You still want me to ask her?
- Go ahead.

And don’t look so smug.

You don't have all the answers.

I do. Everything! Ask!
There’s nothing I can’t answer.

- Where’s my baby doll?
- Exactly.

Mrs Jansen, the alarm’s
been flashing for a week now,

and you can’t be found.

Tell your daughter,
wherever she is,

probably having unsafe sex,

that I want my baby back. Now!

I’ll meet you at the car.

So I said, delete me. Like I care.

Then she’d have less friends,

and people would worry
about Tom’s status

if she’s got 300 friends.

I mean, whatever.
Tom’s an arsehole.

He might as well be blind.

- Although...
- Excuse me.

- Do you love Frans Winter?
- What?

Sorry. I could’ve
asked more subtly,

but this blabbering numbs my brain.

- Do you love Frans?
- Did he send you?

No. I’m a friend of his.

Look, he loves you,
and thinks you still love him too.

- And you want to help him?
- No. I want to correct him.

Look at you. Why
the grandfather fixation?

You’re a weird friend.

Please don’t misunderstand me.

You should be happy he likes you.
But to be honest:

if you were
20 kilos heavier,

we wouldn’t be talking.

If you were 20 years younger,
we wouldn’t be either.

The molecular biologist.

You’re right. I never loved him.

It’s a phase.

I love fucking old men.
I get a kick out of it.

You were right.

Yes! I knew it!

What did she say?

She’s still with Dirk,
and needs time.

And...

Oh, God! I feel so good!

I could uproot a tree,
I could kill a bear!

I could...

Well, I can help you with that.

What the hell is his problem?

Ignore him.
He’s marking his territory.

- Steve McQueen...?
- He’s over 90. He barely has teeth.

- I’m not called Romy...
- The taunts of a jealous heart.

Yes, I’m jealous.

You simply can’t bear the fact
I’ve found love and you haven’t.

Consider this affair again:
Romy’s still with Dirk.

But says she loves me.
I was too hot to handle.

She’s coming back!

See you!

Ah, I’m back again.

There she is! Romy!

Come on, come on...

- You don’t really believe that.
- Well, yes.

Let’s say there’s life after death.

- What comes then?
- Paradise, nirvana, whatever.

- That’s nonsense.
- Why?

Next you’ll say reincarnation exists.

- And if I did?
- You see a future in it?

Yes.

Remind me how she defined
your relationship?

Fuck buddies.

That would develop.

You said you couldn’t
talk over dinner.

So? Men and women are different.
We don’t fear boredom.

Hence old boy networks.
And ‘The Sports Show’.

Don’t be so uptight!
That’s art!

That's an art form.

Primitive graffiti goes back
30,000 years before Christ.

The only Safaitic traditions,
an ancient Arabic tongue,

- are graffiti.
- I’m not senile.

I know graffiti can be art.
But not all graffiti.

And definitely not:

'How can I say I love you if
you are sitting on my face.'

That’s a projection screen.
Free for interpretations.

But it’s ill... illegal.

Illegal, illegal, illegal!

And freedom of expression
and equality too...?

- Exactly. They work so well...
- What?

What’s up?

Do you know them?

Luise?

This is stupid.

Hey! Hey!
Wait a moment!

What’s she up to now?

That’s one crazy chick.

That is art.

You always have
food in your beard!

Steve McQueen?

Steve McQueen?

Is that Steve McQueen?

He was younger when we met.

That doesn’t matter.
He was never Steve McQueen.

OK, he wasn’t. Now please be quiet!

Maybe Steve McQueen today.

Mrs Jansen?

The gentleman kindly declined
to press charges.

Against my advice, I’d add.

That, Mrs Jansen,
was a criminal act.

Thank you.

I didn’t think you were capable of
such a primitive act, Luise.

I never thought you were
fucking Marlies.

- We’re just... friends.
- Tell that to your wife.

Well, then.
Thank you for another day

of unforgettable adventures.

You must think I’m ridiculous.

Unfortunately not.

Is something wrong?

I never... I just never thought

I’d do that here again.

A bed. Sex in a bed.

These trips are increasingly popular.

The Icelandic horse,
also called the Icelandic pony,

Is a versatile and robust breed.

Thanks to its strong physique
these animals can...

I like this. If only...

They’re gaited horses...

because most of them have not only
the basic gaits...

walk, trot and canter...

You keep surprising me.

- How long have you smoked?
- Since I was 15.

But don’t tell my Mum.

The Icelandic horse
is quiet and reliable...

and therefore
also suitable for beginners.

Reykjavik, the country’s oldest city...

Ingólfur Arnarson...

- I’ve never been to Reykjavik.
- You’d love it.

Maybe you could show me one day.

I mean...

You know what I mean.

and vowed to settle wherever
the sea washed them ashore.

A few years later
his slaves found the pillars...

I want a baby.

- You’re so funny.
- No. Really.

I know the timing’s off.

Several years ago,
I had my eggs frozen.

Now I'm set: I want a child.
My own child. And...

it’s feasible.

With all due respect,

feasibly we can transplant
a human head onto an ape,

but no one does that.

And all the men our age
who still have babies?

Charlie Chaplin was a father at 80.

His wife probably 25.

You think it’s OK

for older men to have kids,
but not older women?

- Should I be honest?
- Yes.

Yes, that’s what I think.
It’s unnatural.

But possible.

I was taught to ask not only why,

but to examine why not.

Since man’s been on this earth
he’s aimed for the stars.

Elongated fertility
would change loads,

for people, for society.
But...

it certainly won’t be
the last change,

or the biggest.

I’m no feminist or crazy scientist.

I just want
to hold my own baby in my arms.

Come on, Luise.

Look at us.
Our lives are ending.

It should be cosy, not stressful.

I can imagine anything with Romy.

Not that I see no future with you,
but it would be different.

We can travel...

I’ve seen Reykjavik.
I’ve never seen my own child.

Come on. Luise, this is too crazy.

Yeah. Yeah.

This was a mistake.

I’d like you to go.

- How is she?
- She wants a baby.

With all the bells and whistles.

- But isn’t she...
- Yes, too old.

She has eggs.

- Deep frozen eggs.
- Then that’s OK.

Is she serious?

She says it’s possible,
and she must know.

She’s a prizewinning biologist.

- You like her!
- She’s... wonderful.

- So what’s the problem?
- Are you crazy? She’s 60!

So? 60 year old men
regularly have kids.

Tell me, do you women meet
secretly to prepare these phrases?

- She’s right, Frans.
- Not you too!

Is Romy more qualified?

I just saw
her at the club.

Just because she’s younger!
This isn’t the Stone Age!

- It’s not natural.
- Yes.

Like heart transplants,
Viagra and X-Rays.

But they call those progress.

- Is she still there?
- Luise?

Yes, prob... No! He means Romy.

Frans. Frans, forget it!

Ciao!

I have my first story
for the new setup.

What?

I think he’ll want
to read this one.

Max? Hey, Max!

Max!

Max?

Max?

Comma...

Comma...

Luise Jansen.
Blood test, hormone test.

Ah, yes. Please take a seat.

Mrs Bruckmaier?

Mr Bruckmaier?

Your wife said
you might like to see it.

I like your new style. Racy!

- Racy?
- Perky.

Perky. Thanks.

It’s a lovely
room for the baby.

- Have you talked to the workers?
- Yes.

So where will you
drill through?

- From my bedroom down to here.
- Aha.

Ah, look!

I remember us buying that.

- In Scotland.
- So cold. Rained every day.

- But a lovely time.
- Why did you keep all this?

All these years?

There’s a phrase:
magical thinking.

When your father comes back,
he’ll finally need his shoes.

But you know he’s dead.

I mean, he’s not keeping a low profile
on business in Acapulco.

- You still want to keep them?
- Maybe.

Oh, look here!

I totally forgot! Look at us!

You’re 17 there!
43 years younger than me!

It would all be easier
if I’d been born a boy.

Look at Dad. He had
his research and a kid.

- Because you were always there.
- That’s how we did it.

- But I can’t.
- But you’re at home anyway.

That's not what I mean.

But you were so sure.
What’s changed?

What do you know now
you didn’t yesterday?

I’m too old to love someone new.

Jon said if anyone would
understand you would.

Inside the white cube,
Ryan O'Doherty,

the sanctity of a church,
the integrity of a courtroom,

the mystery of a research lab.
All combine to create

a unique space of aesthetics.

My phone is on if
there’s something important.

He’s torn down an entire wall!

And? Do you know
what he’s trying to say?

I’m not senile! I just thought,
'Why my gallery!'

What’s your problem?
True artists never restrict

themselves to what’s expected.

Were you ever attracted to
a woman who was deranged?

Attracted to one? I married two!

Yeah... No!

Miss Sixty: Decorated Biologist
To Be Mother at 60

- Excuse me?
- No.

Shit, shit, shit!

- Max!
- Miss Sixty?

Relax. Most people
want to get the front page.

So would I with another story!

Man! Frans will kill me.

Miss Sixty? What’s this shit
got to do with it?

Max, it’s a good article.

We added some stuff
so people read it.

Of course I wrote it...

This Miss Sixty shit wasn’t my idea.

Her story touched me.

Leave her in peace.
She’s got nothing to say.

Parasites!

Hey! What’s going on?
Are you crazy up there?

Parasites!
I’ll get you!

Get away from the window. Mum!
What are you doing?

Take this.

Quick! Quick!

Look at their faces.
Like little scaredy-cats.

Take care of your own crap!

You blowflies!
Haven’t had so much fun in ages!

It’d all be normal
if I say I’m not doing it.

Ah, screw normal! I’m proud to say
nothing about you is normal.

Who cares what you decide?

Whether you have a baby or not?
Let them believe you will!

- You’re a fighter, Doris Jansen.
- You’ve inherited that too.

- Are we insured?
- Yes!

Watch out! There’s more coming!

Mrs Bittel said we could
use her rear entrance.

My car’s there.

Maybe we’ll take a little trip.
Get away from this circus.

Fancy that? You can choose where.

So what do you think? Doris?

Mum? Mum?

No! Mum, please.

Don’t go! Mum! Mum!

An ambulance, please.
My mother...

she’s stopped breathing.

- How did you get in?
- Mrs Bittel.

I tried with pralines,
but she prefers cigars.

I can well imagine
what you’re going through.

I’m really sorry.

Doris was an amazing woman.

- Why are you here?
- I don’t know.

I thought maybe
you might need a friend.

Yes. I’d rather not be here.
If it’s OK,

- I’ll get changed.
- Of course.

- Frans, I wanted...
- My son’s sperm?

Now you’re going to say,
‘It’s not how it looks.’

Does he know?

I always thought
you were stalking me.

But it was always about Max.

All those questions about
childhood, hobbies, friends...

- I wanted to tell you. Honest.
- Really? When?

Before you gave birth
to my grandchild? Or after?

- He wouldn’t be your first.
- What?

His sperm is,
so to speak, a best seller.

That's too much.

Frans! Don’t go!
Let me explain. Please!

Do you know how old he is?
You should be ashamed!

Says the pensioner
with a tongue piercing?

You’re so scared of getting old
that age makes you ashamed.

You know what?
Yes: I’m 60, my breasts sag,

I have facial hair.
My heart keeps getting broken,

but it’s still not the end.

And I’m damned if I’ll let anyone

talk me into being ashamed.

You sold your sperm.

Luise... bought some.
Of your sperm.

I don’t think she knew,
but it’s true.

How could you?

- Do you know how many kids you have out there?
- Do you?

Don’t get moral. You’ve shared
your sperm for decades!

Show respect for your father!

My father? I moved here
to get to know my father!

Sadly I found a lonely, sad old man

who thinks time rewinds
if he screws young women.

Who gets up every morning,
looks at his body

only to concede that death
is one day closer.

Good. An honest moment
between father and son, eh?

As for Luise,
I’m proud she chose me.

No one deserves to be happier.

Max?

Don’t you want to come in?

I was just heading to the office...

I'm not sure it’s appropriate.

I’m so sorry.

- Frans told you.
- It’s not about Frans.

I just wanted to say
I think you’re brave.

And I’d be proud if you...

you know...

Does your father know you’re here?

We’re not talking to each other.

I’ve got to go. I’ll be late.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

I didn’t expect you.

The whole city’s full of posters
and I was curious.

And tomorrow I’m moving away.

I wanted to say: I won’t do it.

Even if I had, I wouldn’t
have used Max’s donation.

You’ve no reason to be angry
with him, just me.

We’ll survive.

- Of course.
- And what about you?

I saw a psychotherapist and
I’m probably not crazy.

But perhaps I should’ve
left home 40 years earlier.

Well... My flight leaves
tomorrow and I have to pack

and have a thousand things to do
before I leave.

And I’m so excited and
I talk too much when I’m excited.

And... actually I wanted to say...

I’m truly, deeply sorry
if I hurt you and your son.

Luise. The most beautiful woman...

Here... That’s you.

At least in this part of the room.

I present to you a thrilling moment...

and hope you’re not disappointed.
Thank you.

I earned it.

He tore out six walls
and all the shelves.

- For 20 minutes of bird song.
- For better sound.

I’m a total idiot.

I loved a man once.

I never told him.

I was only interested in pussy.

OK, good to know.

Frans? Frans?

Luise is going to do it.

- What?
- She’s fetching her eggs from the lab,

on the way to the airport.

It’s true that deep inside
we never grow older than 18.

Do you have any porn?

Sorry, I’m in a rush.

We're coming.
Now we’ve got her.

Ah, there she is.

No.

Where’s she gone?

Who drives this way to the airport?

Hi Mum. Hi Dad.

Here we are.
Me and your frozen grandkids.

Ah, Doris.

I miss you so much,
you crazy old bat.

You radiate this light.

You’re a troublemaker.

You’re a true revolutionary.

You make me see myself
with your eyes.

When you’re here,
good things happen.

When everyone says
'Lower your expectations'

you ask: 'Why?'

What are you trying to tell me?

Just a few reasons
why I love you.

Saying it doesn’t make it true.
They’re just words.

I have something better:
sperm.

My sperm.

The idea you could do anything
without me, even buy shoes,

kills me.

So, in brief, or else
we’ll miss our flight: Luise:

I want you to know
how it feels

to hold your own baby in your arms.
Our baby.

I’ve never ever wanted anything
this much.

- There’s a problem.
- Naturally. As always.

I came here to bury my eggs.

But I’m here now.
Now we can do it.

I can’t do it.

- If you were younger...
- Me?

At least one of us.

I had my mother
over 60 years and...

that wasn’t long enough.

And me?

You?

Frans...

All I ever wanted was
to hold someone in my arms

who I love and who loves me.

And I wanted that to be my baby.

But maybe a dog’s enough.

Wait here.

I meant it.

I'd have liked to be
the father of your child.

Max would take care of it
if something happened.

Shit!

Translation by
Wyndham Wallace and Fabian Schmidt

Subtitles by
alias film und sprachtransfer