Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,234
And don't forget, I only drink
2
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,069
the sparkling holy water.
3
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,779
It needs bubbles and a blessing.
4
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,115
Okay?
5
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,492
Sorry I'm late.
6
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,118
Ah, we're used to it by now.
7
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,329
- We all know you run on...
- Watch it.
8
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,663
Drag time.
9
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,499
Mm-hmm.
10
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,751
Now, where's the closet?
11
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,794
Oh, there is no closet.
12
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,506
Just hang it on one of those
rusty nails over there.
13
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:30,673
Rusty Nails.
14
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,217
Whatever happened to that queen?
15
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,093
She died
16
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,471
of tetanus.
17
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,598
So is there no mini fridge
for my homemade hummus
18
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,767
and my little organic
baby carrots?
19
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,060
No, but you're in luck.
20
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,521
It's colder than a witch's tit
back here.
21
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,397
Come on,
focus on the bright side.
22
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,317
At least we both have
a light bulb this time.
23
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,652
Bitch, I got two.
24
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,490
We also have that creepy old TV
in the corner.
25
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:58,409
Girl, this thing is so old,
26
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,828
it probably gets three channels:
27
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,204
Straight, white, and privileged.
28
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,375
We can't even watch
The Handmaid's Tale.
29
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,751
We don't need to watch it.
30
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,254
We are living it.
31
00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:16,010
Oh, hell no.
32
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,411
That can't be good.
33
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,765
Turn it off. Turn it off.
34
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,392
- Bitch, how?
- It's not even plugged in.
35
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,854
I don't know,
just do your stand-up routine.
36
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,421
It always turns me off.
37
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,694
Harder.
38
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,428
Did you just hear that?
39
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,992
Harder.
40
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:42,328
This TV is kinky.
41
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,873
Slap my backside.
42
00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,416
Don't threaten me
with a good time,
43
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,709
- Mr. Standard Def...
- No, no, no, no.
44
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:48,877
Monét, no, no.
45
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,753
If I've learned anything
in my life, it is,
46
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,338
do not wear white
after Labor Day
47
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:55,383
and never mess
with horny talking TVs.
48
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:59,119
♪ ♪
49
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,099
That was weird, right?
50
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,475
Yeah, really weird.
51
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,649
♪ ♪
52
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,860
You're on in ten.
53
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,904
Oh, and I forgot to mention,
54
00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,739
whatever you do,
55
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,074
do not touch that old TV.
56
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,785
♪ ♪
57
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,228
Break a leg, ladies.
58
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,667
Now a warning?
59
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:34,547
I want you inside me.
60
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:41,578
♪ ♪
61
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,944
Toto, I don't think
62
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,779
we're in West Hollywood anymore.
63
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,531
Where the hell are we?
64
00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:03,034
Well, duh, we're obviously in
a subatomic, microcosmic,
65
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,203
parallel quantum universe,
silly.
66
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,622
Is that the same as an NFT?
67
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:10,500
Monét, be careful
what you touch!
68
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,670
Did you learn nothing
from that demonic TV?
69
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,172
Ahh! A pretty book! Move.
70
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,715
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Wait, wait, wait!
71
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,092
Oh, relax.
72
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:22,202
Maybe this dusty old book
will tell us why we're here.
73
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,559
What does it say?
74
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:32,147
It's a script
for The Huluween Drag Special,
75
00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:34,691
"a comedic romp through
horror TV and movie tropes
76
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,360
"designed to promote
Hulu's celebration of Halloween
77
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,530
"in a fun and entertaining way.
78
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,282
Only on Hulu."
79
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,450
That is an awful title.
80
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,120
I would've gone
with something like...
81
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:50,039
The Huluween Dragstravaganza.
82
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,209
Yeah. Yeah.
83
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,586
Ooh, this says,
84
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:58,381
"Host this variety show,
or die."
85
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,300
What do you think that means?
86
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:01,885
I'm not
a linguistics expert, Mary,
87
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,220
but I think it means
that if we don't host the show,
88
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,346
we're gonna die!
89
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,182
Oh, yeah.
90
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:08,433
Well, if they want me to host,
91
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,351
they're gonna have to ask
my agent.
92
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,979
I don't even think
I'm available.
93
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:18,610
Good news: I'm available.
94
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,653
Okay, well, if only there was
95
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,447
some big over-the-top
opening number
96
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,492
to help explain
what all of this was about.
97
00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:30,455
♪ There's something chilling
in the atmosphere ♪
98
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,291
♪ Surrounded
by so many horrors here ♪
99
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,501
What'd you call me?
100
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,419
♪ With all this ass,
we cannot hide ♪
101
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,506
♪ And in these heels,
we cannot run ♪
102
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:43,301
♪ It seems
the nightmare's just begun ♪
103
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,475
♪ We've been dragged
to a world full of fright ♪
104
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,018
♪ Of things
that creep and crawl ♪
105
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,603
♪ And go bump in the night ♪
106
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,063
♪ It's glam and it's gore ♪
107
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,815
♪ It's bloody couture ♪
108
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,859
♪ And every freaky thing
we've ever seen before ♪
109
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,362
♪ Dungeons, demons,
goblins, and ghoul ♪
110
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:04,322
♪ Is it wrong to say
the werewolf's arms ♪
111
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,782
♪ Are making me drool? ♪
112
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,242
♪ It's crass and it's camp ♪
113
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,743
♪ It's monsters and vamps ♪
114
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,579
♪ Wearing chains and leather
and some nipple clamps ♪
115
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,748
Oh, y'all are kinky. Okay.
116
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:17,961
♪ This is
a Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪
117
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,964
♪ Huluween,
lost in the land of ♪
118
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:24,217
♪ Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪
119
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:27,470
♪ Will we survive?
Will we make it out alive? ♪
120
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,722
♪ ♪
121
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,350
♪ Strap on in
and get ready to play ♪
122
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,768
♪ If it's a slasher they want ♪
123
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,812
♪ Then girl, we're gonna slay ♪
124
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,063
♪ So stick to the script ♪
125
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:38,940
♪ Or it's straight
to the crypt ♪
126
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:41,818
♪ It's gonna take some balls,
and I'm fully-equipped ♪
127
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,863
♪ Zombies and chainsaws
and hexes and witches ♪
128
00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:47,866
♪ Torture devices
and blonde screaming bitches ♪
129
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,535
♪ Dolls that turned evil
and bloodthirsty aliens ♪
130
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:53,788
♪ And maybe if we're lucky,
a hot, murderous Australian ♪
131
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,832
Oh, he can thunder
my down under.
132
00:05:55,856 --> 00:06:00,003
♪ This is
a Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪
133
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:03,006
♪ Huluween,
lost in the land of ♪
134
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,050
♪ Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪
135
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:09,304
♪ Will we survive?
Will we make it out alive? ♪
136
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,264
All right,
if we're gonna host this thing,
137
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:14,475
we're gonna need
all the help we can get.
138
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,854
♪ First an old friend,
she's filthy and funny ♪
139
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,773
♪ Brush off the dust,
here comes Lady Bunny ♪
140
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,610
♪ Mean like a serpent
and sweet like vanilla ♪
141
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:26,905
♪ Well, lick me and fold me
and call me Manila ♪
142
00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:29,491
♪ Straight from Long Island,
Mo Heart's got the flow ♪
143
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,284
♪ Evil stands no chance here ♪
144
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,994
♪ Now here's the Merlot? ♪
145
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,872
♪ Double, double,
Spanx and stubble ♪
146
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,666
♪ Jackie's arrived
to beat off some trouble ♪
147
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:41,669
♪ Selene Luna is
one dangerous queen ♪
148
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:44,589
♪ I'm raising the dead,
if you know what I mean ♪
149
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,132
♪ This creature's a beauty ♪
150
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,675
♪ She's fierce
and she's cunning ♪
151
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,345
♪ It's Jujubee's jubilee,
and everyone's coming ♪
152
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,515
♪ Landon Cider approaches,
a deadly drag king ♪
153
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,266
♪ Call me Huluween Daddy ♪
154
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,976
♪ That's got a nice ring ♪
155
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,771
♪ Gay Uncle Mario is
deep in your mind ♪
156
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:02,649
♪ I bite and I scratch
and I stab from behind ♪
157
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,192
♪ I'm Ginger Minj ♪
158
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,902
♪ I'm Monét X Change ♪
159
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,987
♪ And we're gonna raise hell ♪
160
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:13,785
♪ The Huluween way ♪
161
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:17,956
♪ This is
a Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪
162
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,959
♪ Huluween,
lost in the land of ♪
163
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:24,170
♪ Huluween Dragstravaganza ♪
164
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,840
♪ Will we survive,
will we make it out a ♪
165
00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:28,550
♪ Make it out a ♪
166
00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:30,701
♪ Make it out alive? ♪
167
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,853
Oh, my God.
168
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,730
Aww, thank you.
169
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,191
Well, now we know
what this is all about.
170
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,526
We do?
171
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,111
Yeah, this whole thing
is a tribute
172
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,696
to all the creepy shows
and scary movies
173
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,073
you can watch on Hulu
during Huluween.
174
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,575
And Huluween is...
175
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,952
A celebration
of Halloween on Hulu.
176
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,662
Do we gotta do that whole
opening number again?
177
00:07:57,686 --> 00:08:00,498
- No. No, please.
- No. I understand.
178
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,792
This is all about Hulu,
179
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,712
which means these must be
the evil extensions
180
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,672
from the Hulu
original hit movie,
181
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,923
Bad Hair.
182
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,216
Unbe-weave-able. Oh.
183
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,886
And this pretty
gold-plated box...
184
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,596
Be careful with that.
185
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,890
This is the puzzle box
from Hell raiser,
186
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:19,434
the new original movie
streaming this Huluween.
187
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,977
Oh.
188
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,645
What the hell are those?
189
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,230
Like you don't know.
190
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,983
Girl, I do not need
padding back there.
191
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,776
Then they must be
the ass cheeks from Fresh.
192
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,571
Also streaming on Hulu.
193
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,573
I'm sensing a theme.
194
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:34,699
So what's next?
195
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,409
Oh, let's see.
196
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,536
It says here,
197
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,163
"It's time for our first
commercial break."
198
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,623
Oh, thank God.
199
00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:43,041
- I gotta pee.
- Me too.
200
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,709
- Come on. Let's go together.
- Yeah.
201
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,586
Yeah.
202
00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:49,506
Hey, boos.
203
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:53,218
Are you all alone on Halloween?
204
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:56,262
Are you dying
to have a good time?
205
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:59,891
Good time.
206
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:03,269
Call Ghoul Talk now
and talk to live girls.
207
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:06,606
And some not-so-live girls.
208
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,653
Witches. Vampires.
209
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:16,074
Porcelain dolls possessed
by the tormented souls
210
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:21,204
of brutally murdered
Victorian-era prostitutes.
211
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:25,166
I'm waiting to eat your face.
212
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,920
- Are you all alone?
- Somewhere secluded?
213
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:32,882
- It's okay.
- Give us your address.
214
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:37,846
We've got every monster
your filthy mind can imagine.
215
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,390
Ghosts. Zombies.
216
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:42,976
Social media influencers?
217
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,894
I know a lot of you
have been asking
218
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,437
about my skincare routine.
219
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,984
Don't waste your time in bed
with a boring bag of bones.
220
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:54,904
We'll keep you up
all night long.
221
00:09:57,181 --> 00:09:58,741
Call now.
222
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,327
We'll have
a hell of a good time.
223
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,583
Calls are $6.66 cents a minute.
224
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,042
Interdimensional rates
may apply.
225
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,460
Ghoul Talk is not responsible
for rotting flesh,
226
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,087
uncontrollable vomiting,
spontaneous combustion,
227
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,463
or STDs such as ghost gonorrhea,
228
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,007
Halloween herpes,
or pumpkin spice pox.
229
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,183
This is cute.
230
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,727
Oh, honey, we're back.
231
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:28,062
I knew that.
232
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,524
What does Miss Book say is next?
233
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,193
♪ Book ♪
234
00:10:33,217 --> 00:10:35,320
Ooh. Mm. Mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm.
235
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:36,821
What?
It worked for Bette Midler.
236
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,490
Yeah, a lot of things work
for Bette Midler
237
00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:42,202
that clearly don't work for you.
238
00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:46,206
It says,
"This isn't rocket surgery.
239
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,918
"Just do another short sketch
followed by another song,
240
00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:51,628
you dumb bitch."
241
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,087
Did that book just read me?
242
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,217
Ugh, I can't believe
I didn't have
243
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,052
a single trick-or-treater.
244
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,346
That's 13 years in a row.
245
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,682
What am I gonna do
with all this candy?
246
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,568
Hello?
247
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,195
Hello?
248
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,906
Look, if you're trying
to scare me,
249
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,366
it's not gonna work, all right?
250
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:27,705
- I know someone's on the line.
- I can hear you breathing.
251
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,750
Caw. Caw.
252
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,085
Dad?
253
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,963
What's your favorite
scary movie?
254
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:37,465
I don't know,
The Ten Commandments?
255
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:40,218
- You're no fun, Jackie!
- It's me, Mo.
256
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,719
Oh, very funny, bitch.
257
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,680
I knew it was you
the whole time.
258
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,766
I'd recognize
that man voice anywhere, right?
259
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,018
Please tell me you're not home,
260
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:52,313
all alone, again.
261
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:55,358
Well, you know
that new guy I've been dating?
262
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:58,403
Turns out that Halloween is
his busiest night of the year.
263
00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:01,489
So yes, for your information,
I am home,
264
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,700
alone, again.
265
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,869
I hope you're happy.
266
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,746
Oh, Jackie,
that doesn't make me happy.
267
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,665
This isn't a competition.
268
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,417
But I win.
269
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:15,086
Wait, is this that mysterious
Eastern European gentleman
270
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,462
you were telling me about?
271
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,633
Mm-hmm.
272
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:21,718
Girl, spill the tea!
273
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,803
Shut up. Your part's over.
274
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:30,143
♪ ♪
275
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:31,668
No, Jackie.
276
00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:36,107
♪ I met a guy ♪
277
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,902
♪ In the twilight ♪
278
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:44,032
♪ I must admit
it was love at first bite ♪
279
00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:49,078
♪ He's got a widow's peak
instead of bangs ♪
280
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,207
♪ And a real long, long, long ♪
281
00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:54,459
♪ Set of fangs ♪
282
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:59,088
♪ Almost nightly,
he'll wine and dine me ♪
283
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,508
♪ Can't see him in the mirror ♪
284
00:13:01,532 --> 00:13:04,886
♪ When he's right behind me ♪
285
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:09,641
♪ Hates the sun,
but he makes me feel young ♪
286
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:12,393
♪ And when he's hanging
upside down ♪
287
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,980
♪ He's so well hung ♪
288
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:20,735
♪ Oh, dating a vampire sucks ♪
289
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:24,030
♪ He asked me,
"Do you come here often?" ♪
290
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:27,033
♪ Then we did it in his coffin ♪
291
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:31,579
♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪
292
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,957
♪ Last time he bit me,
he got stuck ♪
293
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,125
♪ Don't judge me,
I just wanna f... ♪
294
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,795
Find a cute restaurant
or have a picnic in the park.
295
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,922
I don't know, something nice.
296
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:43,967
♪ Sat me down ♪
297
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,511
♪ Said he must confess ♪
298
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:51,415
♪ Told me he's been seeing
other people's necks ♪
299
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,270
♪ But I never get enough ♪
300
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:58,022
♪ All my girlfriends
think I'm nuts ♪
301
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:03,069
♪ 'Cause dating
a vampire "sucks" ♪
302
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,613
♪ Pretty sure ♪
303
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,950
♪ He's a vegan ♪
304
00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:13,663
♪ 'Cause my baby
doesn't like steaks ♪
305
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,541
♪ But he guzzles Bloody Marys ♪
306
00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:19,335
♪ He's so thirsty
that it's scary ♪
307
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:23,464
♪ And he sucks my juice
just like I'm a grape ♪
308
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,550
Listen, I'm not complaining.
309
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,927
Why do you think I put up
with this freak?
310
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:32,932
♪ When he whispers
he loves me to death ♪
311
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:37,479
♪ I always swoon
because of his bad breath ♪
312
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:43,735
♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪
313
00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:47,155
♪ I've got one question,
can I ask it? ♪
314
00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:49,866
♪ Should I move
into his casket? ♪
315
00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:54,704
♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪
316
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,832
♪ Listen, I know
what you're thinking ♪
317
00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:00,919
♪ "Bitch, he hung out
with Abe Lincoln" ♪
318
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,921
Too soon?
319
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:08,009
♪ This relationship
really bites ♪
320
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:12,555
♪ Goes for the jugular
when we get in fights ♪
321
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,557
But I kinda like it rough.
322
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,768
♪ No sweats or high top Chucks ♪
323
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:20,146
♪ No, he's always in a tux,
yeah ♪
324
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:24,192
♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪
325
00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:28,613
♪ Oh, sometimes you take
the good with the bad ♪
326
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:31,282
♪ He's a pain in the neck ♪
327
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,475
♪ But he's still the best
I've ever had ♪
328
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:39,457
♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪
329
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,334
Now I have to wear
a turtleneck 24/7.
330
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:44,420
♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪
331
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,339
Who has Italian food
with no garlic?
332
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:49,509
♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪
333
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:51,761
Good luck finding SPF 1,500.
334
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:58,542
♪ Dating a vampire sucks ♪
335
00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:01,563
What?
336
00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:03,815
That was... dreadful.
337
00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,942
Oh, I thought it was beautiful.
338
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,819
You also think
pineapple belongs on pizza.
339
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:09,279
Well, how else
am I supposed to get
340
00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:11,406
my daily serving of fruit?
341
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:12,907
Why are you on your phone?
342
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,409
I'm creating
a social media post.
343
00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:15,535
Now?
344
00:16:15,559 --> 00:16:16,953
You think now is
the best time to do that?
345
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,414
Uh, I'm pretty sure being
sucked into a magical TV
346
00:16:19,438 --> 00:16:22,250
and being transported
to wherever the hell this is
347
00:16:22,274 --> 00:16:23,668
is beyond post-worthy.
348
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,587
And besides, it's so easy
349
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:28,423
to create stunning posts
and more using Canva,
350
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,384
amazing tools
right at your fingertips.
351
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,764
Did you just do
a product placement?
352
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,892
This would not be
a drag variety show
353
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,935
without at least one
product integration.
354
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,479
Huh.
355
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:44,439
Ooh! Look what I found.
356
00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:47,066
It's an old TV remote.
357
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,693
- Don't...
- I wonder if it still works.
358
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:50,069
Touch it!
359
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:53,615
Good morning, everyone,
and welcome to ZNN,
360
00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,909
the Zombie News Network,
361
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:59,579
your live coverage
of everything dead.
362
00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:01,206
I'm Fluffy McDaniels,
363
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:04,501
and here are
today's top stories.
364
00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:08,129
First, let's join
reporter Jorge Romero
365
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,924
at the annual
zombie pride celebration
366
00:17:10,948 --> 00:17:12,509
being held downtown.
367
00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:13,867
Jorge?
368
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,695
Back to you
in the studio, Fluffy.
369
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,072
Huh?
370
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,281
Thanks, Jorge.
371
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,991
Looks like everyone's having
so much fun.
372
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:40,411
I'd give my right arm
to be there with you.
373
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:43,373
And now, let's take a look
at today's weather
374
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:46,251
with meteorologist Sue Nawmi.
375
00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:48,294
Thanks, Fluffy.
376
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:51,005
Today's weather report
is brought to you
377
00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:54,551
by brains,
delicious, juicy brains.
378
00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:59,430
In an omelet, a burrito,
or even fresh out of the skull.
379
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,765
Make the smart choice
380
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:04,102
and give in
to your brain cravings today.
381
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,895
Mm, sounds yummy, Sue.
382
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,105
What's it like out there?
383
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,607
Once again,
another scorcher, Fluffy,
384
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:13,236
with a high of 101 degrees.
385
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,947
If you're outside,
I'm sure you can smell
386
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,116
the unbearable stench
387
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,369
of melting human corpses
in the streets.
388
00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:24,289
While that may be
repulsive to some,
389
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:27,041
I'm sure others are
making the most of it
390
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:29,878
and turning it into a barbecue.
391
00:18:29,902 --> 00:18:32,630
Oh, looks like
another one got in.
392
00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:34,257
Back to you, Fluffy.
393
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,217
Thanks, Sue.
394
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:39,679
Uh, well, uh, looks like
we're gonna wrap early today.
395
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:41,556
Thanks so much for watching.
396
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:44,100
I'm Fluffy McDaniels,
reminding you all
397
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,935
that zombies eat brains.
398
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:49,522
So don't read,
don't be informed,
399
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,899
and stay stupid.
400
00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:53,151
Have a great day.
401
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:58,180
Taylor, we lost
another camera op.
402
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,997
Wow, that last thing was
a real think piece.
403
00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:09,167
Yeah, I think I need a piece
of that Fluffy McDaniels.
404
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,336
- Okay.
- Monét, stop.
405
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,421
You're giving me a boner.
406
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,631
You've gone too far.
407
00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,050
- What?
- No, don't change that channel...
408
00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:19,928
Welcome back
to the big, gruesome finale
409
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:22,805
of The Next American Slasher.
410
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,433
I'm your host, Twink Martindale.
411
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:28,937
All right.
It has all come down to this.
412
00:19:28,961 --> 00:19:31,481
Our top three madams of mayhem
413
00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:33,441
will be competing to be crowned
414
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:36,861
this season's
Next American Slasher.
415
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:39,864
America,
this is your last chance
416
00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:43,868
to cast your votes online
and set the winner free
417
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,579
back into society,
because why not?
418
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:49,749
This world is terrifying.
419
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,543
But before we do that,
420
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:55,630
let's take one last look back
at our contestants' journey.
421
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:57,757
I'm Ivana Killyoo.
422
00:19:57,781 --> 00:20:00,593
I'm... 23.
423
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:03,680
I know I have what it takes
to be the Next American Slasher
424
00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:06,933
because... well,
how do I put this politely?
425
00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:09,727
I'm bat shit insane!
426
00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:13,565
I didn't come here
to make friends.
427
00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:15,316
I came here to bury them.
428
00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:19,654
I'm Sybil Pleatherface.
429
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:22,198
I'm also 23.
430
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:25,118
And what I've learned most
during this competition
431
00:20:25,142 --> 00:20:28,705
is that human skin is
really hard to sew.
432
00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:31,833
Fashion is my life,
433
00:20:31,857 --> 00:20:33,960
and I look up
to the greats before me.
434
00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:37,255
Uh, Yves Saint Laurent.
Coco Chanel.
435
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,591
Ed Gein.
436
00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:41,283
Google it, darlings.
437
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,888
- Hi, honey.
- My name is Cannabelle,
438
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:47,640
and I too am 23.
439
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:50,810
Now, I came to eat up
the competition, literally.
440
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,646
Some people say revenge is
a dish best served cold,
441
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,356
but I prefer
to put it in the oven
442
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,276
at 425 for 30 minutes.
443
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,405
Well, ladies, this is it.
444
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:06,284
Your final performance
and final opportunity
445
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,786
to win votes
from our viewing audience.
446
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:11,414
Let's hear it
for our final contestants
447
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:14,983
in The Next American Slasher.
448
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:23,801
♪ ♪
449
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:34,521
♪ I was a hand model,
the best of the best ♪
450
00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:36,606
♪ Every day, they were
cutting those checks ♪
451
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,733
♪ I was on top, a big spender ♪
452
00:21:38,757 --> 00:21:40,568
♪ Till my wig got caught
in a blender ♪
453
00:21:40,592 --> 00:21:42,946
♪ I panicked,
I tried to get it out ♪
454
00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:45,114
♪ But my hand got stuck
and never came out ♪
455
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,116
♪ Now I innovate,
got a hook for a hand ♪
456
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,494
♪ And I made my ugly feet
my brand ♪
457
00:21:49,518 --> 00:21:51,496
♪ I hook 'em with my looks ♪
458
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,373
♪ Then I hook 'em with my hook ♪
459
00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:55,375
♪ I drain the blood
and the bank accounts ♪
460
00:21:55,399 --> 00:21:57,085
♪ Keep the millionaires shook ♪
461
00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:58,461
♪ Are you ready? ♪
462
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:02,549
♪ I'm the Next
American Slasher ♪
463
00:22:02,573 --> 00:22:06,678
♪ Watch your back 'cause
your blood's what I'm after ♪
464
00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:10,056
♪ Here, kitty cat, you might
be fast, but I'm faster ♪
465
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,434
♪ Singing ayo, ayo, ayo ♪
466
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:14,811
♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪
467
00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:17,605
♪ Ayo, ayo, ayo ♪
468
00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:20,316
♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪
469
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:22,735
♪ Meow ♪
470
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:25,029
♪ Used to work at the mall
from 9:00 to 5:00 ♪
471
00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:27,490
♪ At Stuff-a-Plushie Workshop,
plush for life ♪
472
00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:29,325
♪ Loved my job
till a Karen complained ♪
473
00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,744
♪ It's not my fault
that I went insane ♪
474
00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:33,663
♪ Poor little Timmy's
without his mama ♪
475
00:22:33,687 --> 00:22:35,665
♪ But he's better off
without her drama ♪
476
00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:37,750
♪ I scooped out her blood
and her guts and her bones ♪
477
00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:40,003
♪ Stuffed her with cotton,
sewed her mouth closed ♪
478
00:22:40,027 --> 00:22:41,796
♪ I got my own start-up,
I work from home ♪
479
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,048
♪ Sewing up Karen,
selling her clothes ♪
480
00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:46,342
♪ It's not a lot,
but it's an honest life ♪
481
00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:49,137
♪ And now I know my way
around a knife ♪
482
00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:52,932
♪ I'm the Next
American Slasher ♪
483
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:56,936
♪ Watch your back 'cause
your blood's what I'm after ♪
484
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,565
♪ Here, kitty cat, you might
be fast, but I'm faster ♪
485
00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:03,735
♪ Singing ayo, ayo, ayo ♪
486
00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:05,153
♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪
487
00:23:05,177 --> 00:23:08,198
♪ Ayo, ayo, ayo ♪
488
00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:10,992
♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪
489
00:23:11,016 --> 00:23:13,661
♪ Meow ♪
490
00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:15,538
911, what's your emergency?
491
00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:17,665
♪ My best friend said
we'd be friends for life ♪
492
00:23:17,689 --> 00:23:19,751
♪ Till she took my man,
so she had to die ♪
493
00:23:19,775 --> 00:23:21,628
♪ I chopped her up
and took a bite ♪
494
00:23:21,652 --> 00:23:24,339
♪ Yeah, the bitch was
damn good over rice ♪
495
00:23:24,363 --> 00:23:26,174
♪ Dead is dead
and facts is facts ♪
496
00:23:26,198 --> 00:23:28,218
♪ I'ma eat your mom,
I'ma eat your dad ♪
497
00:23:28,242 --> 00:23:30,303
♪ I'ma make you watch
and eat you last ♪
498
00:23:30,327 --> 00:23:32,680
♪ 'Cause, honey,
I'm a cannibal like that ♪
499
00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:34,891
♪ Painted for the cell block,
painted for the walk off ♪
500
00:23:34,915 --> 00:23:37,185
♪ Painted for the murders
till I can't talk, talk ♪
501
00:23:37,209 --> 00:23:38,686
♪ Killer looks, killer hooks ♪
502
00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:39,771
♪ Nails studded and sharp ♪
503
00:23:39,795 --> 00:23:41,147
♪ Leave 'em dead,
leave 'em cold ♪
504
00:23:41,171 --> 00:23:42,982
♪ Murder weapons in the front,
in the back ♪
505
00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:45,276
♪ Got my fork, got my knife,
I'ma eat you alive ♪
506
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,111
♪ Can't let good meat
go to waste ♪
507
00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:49,739
♪ Got that cannibal life,
got that cannibal taste ♪
508
00:23:49,763 --> 00:23:54,202
♪ Taste, taste, taste, taste,
taste, taste, taste, taste ♪
509
00:23:54,226 --> 00:23:58,373
♪ I'm the Next
American Slasher ♪
510
00:23:58,397 --> 00:24:02,168
♪ Watch your back 'cause
your blood's what I'm after ♪
511
00:24:02,192 --> 00:24:05,880
♪ Here, kitty cat, you might
be fast, but I'm faster ♪
512
00:24:05,904 --> 00:24:09,133
♪ Singing ayo, ayo, ayo ♪
513
00:24:09,157 --> 00:24:10,552
♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪
514
00:24:10,576 --> 00:24:13,471
♪ Ayo, ayo, ayo ♪
515
00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:16,182
♪ I'm gonna hunt you down ♪
516
00:24:16,206 --> 00:24:17,875
♪ Meow ♪
517
00:24:19,877 --> 00:24:22,021
That was disturbing yet fun.
518
00:24:22,045 --> 00:24:24,649
Yeah, kind of like
my last colonoscopy.
519
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,693
Speaking of anal probing,
520
00:24:26,717 --> 00:24:28,903
we've seen all sorts
of scary things today.
521
00:24:28,927 --> 00:24:32,574
Vampires, zombies,
Lady Bunny changing outfits.
522
00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:37,120
But we haven't seen
any creatures from outer space.
523
00:24:37,144 --> 00:24:41,666
- What, aliens?
- Girl, aliens are not real.
524
00:24:41,690 --> 00:24:44,085
Although Jackie Beat might be
from another planet.
525
00:24:44,109 --> 00:24:46,087
They say the truth is out there.
526
00:24:46,111 --> 00:24:47,547
Out where?
527
00:24:47,571 --> 00:24:49,924
I think I lost my truth
in the back of a pickup truck.
528
00:24:49,948 --> 00:24:51,217
When it comes to this topic,
529
00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:53,595
I think you and I
are just polar opposites.
530
00:24:53,619 --> 00:24:55,930
Or are we more like...
531
00:24:55,954 --> 00:24:59,434
Solar Opposites?
532
00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,644
Something about today
feels special.
533
00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:02,687
Hell yeah.
534
00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:04,230
This is gonna be
scary as shit, yo.
535
00:25:07,090 --> 00:25:08,401
I'll always hate
this spooky-ass month.
536
00:25:08,425 --> 00:25:09,903
Especially Halloween.
537
00:25:09,927 --> 00:25:11,696
It's too haunting
and spine-tingling.
538
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,573
- Too late.
- We've already committed.
539
00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:17,327
We dug up a body
from a graveyard
540
00:25:17,351 --> 00:25:20,079
and used dark sci-fi magic
to bring it to life.
541
00:25:26,068 --> 00:25:27,253
Oh, shit!
542
00:25:27,277 --> 00:25:29,464
This is awesome!
543
00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:31,424
What is this,
some sort of Halloween trick?
544
00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:32,448
I'm freaking out, man.
545
00:25:35,202 --> 00:25:36,804
Your misery will be orchestrated
546
00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:38,723
by the Dark Lord himself.
547
00:25:40,749 --> 00:25:43,144
- Thanks for the update.
- Is there Wi-Fi here?
548
00:25:43,168 --> 00:25:44,479
Did you put up 10,000 flyers
549
00:25:44,503 --> 00:25:45,814
promising money
and free blow jobs
550
00:25:45,838 --> 00:25:47,023
to anyone
who brought us a corpse?
551
00:25:47,047 --> 00:25:48,399
Yes.
552
00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:50,485
Well, you better break out
the Chap Stick, Terry.
553
00:25:50,509 --> 00:25:52,427
It's gonna be a long night.
554
00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:55,448
Some-bloody once told me
555
00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:57,200
I ain't the sharpest ghoul
in the dead.
556
00:25:57,224 --> 00:25:59,268
Wait, was that Smash Mouth?
557
00:26:02,187 --> 00:26:04,624
See, those aliens aren't scary.
558
00:26:04,648 --> 00:26:06,835
But they are
highly entertaining.
559
00:26:06,859 --> 00:26:08,294
So what's next?
560
00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:11,422
It says here it's time
for a musical guest,
561
00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:13,299
but there's a cryptic message.
562
00:26:13,323 --> 00:26:16,719
Keep Everything
Super Huluween Always.
563
00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:18,513
The hell does that mean?
564
00:26:18,537 --> 00:26:20,932
It's obviously some sort
of puzzle or code.
565
00:26:20,956 --> 00:26:23,351
Oh, I figured it out.
566
00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:27,355
Our special musical guest
is clearly Liza Minelli
567
00:26:27,379 --> 00:26:29,983
's mom, Bethany?
568
00:26:30,007 --> 00:26:31,818
Please forgive her.
569
00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:33,528
They dies and gentlethems...
570
00:26:33,552 --> 00:26:35,530
Kesha!
571
00:26:36,889 --> 00:26:41,953
♪ I am cannibal ♪
572
00:26:44,188 --> 00:26:49,419
♪ I am cannibal ♪
573
00:26:55,449 --> 00:27:02,456
♪ ♪
574
00:27:06,001 --> 00:27:07,979
♪ I have a heart, I swear I do ♪
575
00:27:08,003 --> 00:27:09,814
♪ But just not, baby,
when it comes to you ♪
576
00:27:09,838 --> 00:27:11,858
♪ I get so hungry
when you say you love me ♪
577
00:27:11,882 --> 00:27:13,693
♪ Hush, if you can know
what's good for you ♪
578
00:27:13,717 --> 00:27:15,487
♪ I think you're hot,
I think you're cool ♪
579
00:27:15,511 --> 00:27:17,197
♪ You're the kind of guy
I'd stalk in school ♪
580
00:27:17,221 --> 00:27:19,407
♪ But now that I'm famous,
you're up my anus ♪
581
00:27:19,431 --> 00:27:21,117
♪ Now, boy,
I'm gonna eat you, fool ♪
582
00:27:21,141 --> 00:27:24,496
♪ I eat boys up,
breakfast and lunch ♪
583
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,333
♪ Then when I'm thirsty,
I drink their blood ♪
584
00:27:28,357 --> 00:27:32,003
♪ Carnivore, animal,
I am a cannibal ♪
585
00:27:32,027 --> 00:27:35,798
♪ I eat boys up,
you better run ♪
586
00:27:35,822 --> 00:27:42,138
♪ I am cannibal ♪
587
00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:43,223
♪ I am
588
00:27:43,247 --> 00:27:48,520
♪ I am cannibal ♪
589
00:27:48,544 --> 00:27:49,729
♪ I'll eat you up ♪
590
00:27:49,753 --> 00:27:50,939
♪ I am ♪
591
00:27:50,963 --> 00:27:56,903
♪ I am cannibal ♪
592
00:27:56,927 --> 00:27:57,946
♪ I am ♪
593
00:27:57,970 --> 00:28:03,409
♪ I am cannibal ♪
594
00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:05,453
♪ I'll eat you up ♪
595
00:28:05,477 --> 00:28:07,121
♪ Whenever you tell me
I'm pretty ♪
596
00:28:07,145 --> 00:28:08,873
♪ That's when the hunger
really hits me ♪
597
00:28:08,897 --> 00:28:10,875
♪ Your little heart
goes pitter-patter ♪
598
00:28:10,899 --> 00:28:12,836
♪ I'll put your liver
on a platter ♪
599
00:28:12,860 --> 00:28:14,462
♪ Use your finger
to stir my tea ♪
600
00:28:14,486 --> 00:28:16,506
♪ And for dessert,
I'll suck your teeth ♪
601
00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:18,466
♪ Be too sweet
and you'll be a goner ♪
602
00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:19,968
♪ Yeah ♪
603
00:28:19,992 --> 00:28:23,763
♪ I eat boys up,
breakfast and lunch ♪
604
00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:27,517
♪ Then when I'm thirsty,
I drink their blood ♪
605
00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:31,104
♪ Carnivore, animal,
I am a cannibal ♪
606
00:28:31,128 --> 00:28:34,941
♪ I eat boys up,
you better run ♪
607
00:28:34,965 --> 00:28:41,197
♪ I am cannibal ♪
608
00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:42,323
♪ I am
609
00:28:42,347 --> 00:28:47,871
♪ I am cannibal ♪
610
00:28:47,895 --> 00:28:48,872
♪ I'll eat you up ♪
611
00:28:48,896 --> 00:28:49,873
♪ I am ♪
612
00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:56,045
♪ I am cannibal ♪
613
00:28:56,069 --> 00:28:57,130
♪ I am ♪
614
00:28:57,154 --> 00:29:02,510
♪ I am cannibal ♪
615
00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:04,304
♪ I'll eat you up ♪
616
00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:14,087
♪ ♪
617
00:29:25,474 --> 00:29:32,481
♪ ♪
618
00:29:33,732 --> 00:29:37,545
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh ♪
619
00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:41,341
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh ♪
620
00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:44,886
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh ♪
621
00:29:44,910 --> 00:29:48,723
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh ♪
622
00:29:48,747 --> 00:29:55,104
♪ I am cannibal ♪
623
00:29:55,128 --> 00:29:56,147
♪ I am
624
00:29:56,171 --> 00:30:01,569
♪ I am cannibal ♪
625
00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:02,654
♪ I'll eat you up ♪
626
00:30:02,678 --> 00:30:03,655
♪ I am ♪
627
00:30:03,679 --> 00:30:09,828
♪ I am cannibal ♪
628
00:30:09,852 --> 00:30:10,912
♪ I am ♪
629
00:30:10,936 --> 00:30:16,125
♪ I am cannibal ♪
630
00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:18,169
♪ I'll eat you up ♪
631
00:30:18,193 --> 00:30:25,200
♪ ♪
632
00:30:40,299 --> 00:30:41,943
Well,
according to the interwebs,
633
00:30:41,967 --> 00:30:44,362
people are really falling
into the Huluween spirit.
634
00:30:44,386 --> 00:30:46,239
- They're loving the show.
- I know.
635
00:30:46,263 --> 00:30:48,324
Look at some of these comments.
636
00:30:48,348 --> 00:30:51,452
- "Hilarious Huluween hijinks."
- Yas!
637
00:30:51,476 --> 00:30:53,746
"Living
for the musical numbers."
638
00:30:53,770 --> 00:30:55,206
Word.
639
00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:57,959
- "Everyone looks so stunning."
- Stunning!
640
00:30:57,983 --> 00:30:59,752
"Especially Ginger Minj.
641
00:30:59,776 --> 00:31:00,879
"She's the funniest.
642
00:31:00,903 --> 00:31:03,381
Oh, and the prettiest."
643
00:31:03,405 --> 00:31:04,674
Girl, you posted that.
644
00:31:04,698 --> 00:31:06,009
Yeah, prove it, bitch.
645
00:31:06,033 --> 00:31:07,927
"Fierce." "She's living."
646
00:31:07,951 --> 00:31:09,220
"She dead."
647
00:31:09,244 --> 00:31:10,597
"Boots the house down."
648
00:31:10,621 --> 00:31:12,807
"Work, mama," blah, blah, blah...
649
00:31:12,831 --> 00:31:13,808
Uh-oh.
650
00:31:13,832 --> 00:31:15,059
Uh-oh?
651
00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:16,478
What "uh-uh"?
652
00:31:16,502 --> 00:31:19,522
"So I'm watching werewolves
and vampires and zombies,
653
00:31:19,546 --> 00:31:23,443
"like, prance across my screen,
but as per usual,
654
00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:25,778
mummies have been left
out of the festivities."
655
00:31:25,802 --> 00:31:28,198
- OMG, they're right.
- Yeah.
656
00:31:28,222 --> 00:31:30,116
Well, you know
what we have to do now.
657
00:31:30,140 --> 00:31:32,076
Give 'em a showstopping
number featuring mummies?
658
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:34,704
- Heck yes, we do.
- Mm-hmm.
659
00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:37,373
But on such short notice,
where are we gonna find
660
00:31:37,397 --> 00:31:40,168
two ancient creatures
all wrapped up in themselves?
661
00:31:41,693 --> 00:31:43,838
Bunny and Jackie.
662
00:31:49,743 --> 00:31:53,306
♪ You can tell by our style,
been around quite a while ♪
663
00:31:53,330 --> 00:31:56,392
♪ King Tut was the first guy
to hire us ♪
664
00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:59,562
♪ Just your dusty old hacks,
we are both artifacts ♪
665
00:31:59,586 --> 00:32:02,982
♪ Girl, I sent my first nude
on papyrus ♪
666
00:32:03,006 --> 00:32:06,277
♪ We know all of the tricks,
wrote them in hieroglyphs ♪
667
00:32:06,301 --> 00:32:09,697
♪ I invented that,
so don't make me sue ya ♪
668
00:32:09,721 --> 00:32:12,951
♪ Maybe older than dirt
with cobwebs under our skirt ♪
669
00:32:12,975 --> 00:32:16,913
♪ In any century,
you know we'll outdo ya ♪
670
00:32:16,937 --> 00:32:20,166
♪ Everybody loves their mummy ♪
671
00:32:20,190 --> 00:32:23,503
♪ You know Mama knows best ♪
672
00:32:23,527 --> 00:32:26,422
♪ Better say
you love your mummy ♪
673
00:32:26,446 --> 00:32:29,759
♪ 'Cause you can't kill
what's dead ♪
674
00:32:29,783 --> 00:32:31,553
♪ Who's your mummy?
Who's your mummy? ♪
675
00:32:31,577 --> 00:32:33,513
♪ Screw your daddy,
who's your mummy? ♪
676
00:32:33,537 --> 00:32:35,348
♪ Say I'm your mummy ♪
677
00:32:35,372 --> 00:32:36,933
♪ No, I'm your mummy ♪
678
00:32:36,957 --> 00:32:38,518
Screw you, Bunny.
679
00:32:38,542 --> 00:32:40,728
No thanks, honey.
680
00:32:40,752 --> 00:32:42,355
♪ We've been best friend,
you see ♪
681
00:32:42,379 --> 00:32:44,023
♪ Since, like, 30 B. C. ♪
682
00:32:44,047 --> 00:32:47,068
♪ Except briefly when that guy
came between us ♪
683
00:32:47,092 --> 00:32:49,195
♪ Now our golden rule goes ♪
684
00:32:49,219 --> 00:32:50,738
♪ Simply hos before bros ♪
685
00:32:50,762 --> 00:32:54,075
♪ Or in other words,
pals before penis ♪
686
00:32:54,099 --> 00:32:55,785
♪ What you may not know is ♪
687
00:32:55,809 --> 00:32:57,287
♪ I almost gave up showbiz ♪
688
00:32:57,311 --> 00:33:00,373
♪ For that same con man's
real estate dream ♪
689
00:33:00,397 --> 00:33:02,208
♪ But he was stealing from me ♪
690
00:33:02,232 --> 00:33:04,335
♪ 'Cause it turned out to be ♪
691
00:33:04,359 --> 00:33:06,838
♪ The very first
pyramid scheme ♪
692
00:33:08,530 --> 00:33:11,342
♪ Everybody loves their mummy ♪
693
00:33:11,366 --> 00:33:14,846
♪ You know Mama knows best ♪
694
00:33:14,870 --> 00:33:17,891
♪ You better say
you love your mummy ♪
695
00:33:17,915 --> 00:33:21,519
♪ 'Cause you can't kill
what's dead ♪
696
00:33:21,543 --> 00:33:22,812
♪ Who's your mummy?
Who's your mummy? ♪
697
00:33:22,836 --> 00:33:25,064
♪ Screw your daddy,
who's your mummy? ♪
698
00:33:25,088 --> 00:33:26,608
♪ Say I'm your mummy ♪
699
00:33:26,632 --> 00:33:27,901
♪ No, I'm your mummy ♪
700
00:33:27,925 --> 00:33:29,611
♪ Who's your mummy?
Who's your mummy? ♪
701
00:33:29,635 --> 00:33:31,404
♪ I'm your mummy,
I'm your mummy ♪
702
00:33:31,428 --> 00:33:32,822
♪ You claim to be my mummy ♪
703
00:33:32,846 --> 00:33:35,408
♪ But you look
more like my daddy ♪
704
00:33:35,432 --> 00:33:37,452
We're just
a couple of old farts.
705
00:33:37,476 --> 00:33:41,080
See, we even Tut-in-common.
706
00:33:41,104 --> 00:33:43,041
♪ Once a gal counts
three chins ♪
707
00:33:43,065 --> 00:33:44,751
♪ Then the surgery begins ♪
708
00:33:44,775 --> 00:33:47,754
♪ But each nip and tuck
is well-deserved ♪
709
00:33:47,778 --> 00:33:51,216
♪ We're like quality ham
or a prize-winning jam ♪
710
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,511
♪ In the fact
that we're so well-preserved ♪
711
00:33:54,535 --> 00:33:56,596
♪ We've been
stapled and snapped ♪
712
00:33:56,620 --> 00:34:00,892
♪ But once we're unwrapped,
you may fail to recognize us ♪
713
00:34:00,916 --> 00:34:04,813
♪ When you see our new face
and it comes time to praise ♪
714
00:34:04,837 --> 00:34:07,148
♪ Don't Cleo-patronize us ♪
715
00:34:07,172 --> 00:34:11,486
[trombone "wah-wahs"
716
00:34:11,510 --> 00:34:14,614
♪ Everybody loves their mummy ♪
717
00:34:14,638 --> 00:34:18,284
♪ You know Mama knows best ♪
718
00:34:18,308 --> 00:34:21,412
♪ Better say
you love your mummy ♪
719
00:34:21,436 --> 00:34:24,457
♪ Or we might get undressed ♪
720
00:34:24,481 --> 00:34:26,125
♪ Who's your mummy?
Who's your mummy? ♪
721
00:34:26,149 --> 00:34:28,419
♪ I'm your sister
and your mummy ♪
722
00:34:28,443 --> 00:34:30,004
♪ Say I'm your mummy ♪
723
00:34:30,028 --> 00:34:31,297
♪ No, I'm your mummy ♪
724
00:34:31,321 --> 00:34:33,132
♪ Who's your mummy?
Who's your mummy? ♪
725
00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:34,717
♪ I'm your mummy,
I'm your mummy ♪
726
00:34:34,741 --> 00:34:36,094
♪ Damn, you're getting flabby ♪
727
00:34:36,118 --> 00:34:38,763
♪ Girl, your makeup's
looking crummy ♪
728
00:34:38,787 --> 00:34:40,223
You've all heard of King Tut?
729
00:34:40,247 --> 00:34:42,058
Well, say hello to Queen Slut.
730
00:34:42,082 --> 00:34:45,228
You've all heard of Nefertiti.
731
00:34:45,252 --> 00:34:48,273
Well, please welcome
to the stage Heifer-titi.
732
00:34:48,297 --> 00:34:49,691
Hilarious.
733
00:34:49,715 --> 00:34:51,985
Especially coming
from Nefer-funny.
734
00:34:52,009 --> 00:34:54,529
You're so old,
you swam in the Dead Sea
735
00:34:54,553 --> 00:34:56,364
when it was still getting sick.
736
00:34:56,388 --> 00:34:58,700
You put the mess in Mesopotamia.
737
00:34:58,724 --> 00:35:00,827
You put the not funny
in this show.
738
00:35:00,851 --> 00:35:02,537
Kiss my ass.
739
00:35:02,561 --> 00:35:05,999
Listen, this number may be
long and boring
740
00:35:06,023 --> 00:35:08,168
and feature dusty old jokes,
741
00:35:08,192 --> 00:35:10,879
but it does have one thing
going for it.
742
00:35:10,903 --> 00:35:13,947
Yeah, it doesn't feature
Ginger or Monét.
743
00:35:20,204 --> 00:35:21,556
Wow.
744
00:35:21,580 --> 00:35:24,642
That was a lot of dad jokes
from two old mummies.
745
00:35:24,666 --> 00:35:26,227
Yes, but it did the trick.
746
00:35:26,251 --> 00:35:29,189
Look, the mummy community
was thrilled with the number.
747
00:35:29,213 --> 00:35:31,274
Mm, not everybody was
thrilled, girl.
748
00:35:31,298 --> 00:35:33,735
No, username
IHateEverything said,
749
00:35:33,759 --> 00:35:35,570
"This Egyptian number sphinx."
750
00:35:35,594 --> 00:35:37,280
Everyone's a critic.
751
00:35:37,304 --> 00:35:39,616
Well, the good news is,
none of us ever have to sit
752
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,159
through that number again.
753
00:35:41,183 --> 00:35:43,661
The bad news is, we're still
trapped here in this nightmare
754
00:35:43,685 --> 00:35:47,123
where either one of us can be
slaughtered at any moment!
755
00:35:47,147 --> 00:35:49,167
I'd much rather be home
watching Huluween
756
00:35:49,191 --> 00:35:50,585
than being stuck inside it.
757
00:35:50,609 --> 00:35:51,920
I know, tell me a...
758
00:35:51,944 --> 00:35:53,296
Oh, you're just gonna walk away.
759
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,381
Okay.
760
00:35:55,405 --> 00:35:57,675
Haven't we fulfilled
all of the commitments
761
00:35:57,699 --> 00:35:59,344
of hosting a Huluween drag show?
762
00:35:59,368 --> 00:36:01,846
I mean, we've been through
every page in this book.
763
00:36:01,870 --> 00:36:03,932
Then why are we trapped here?
764
00:36:03,956 --> 00:36:05,350
Hello?
765
00:36:05,374 --> 00:36:06,935
We'd like to go home now.
766
00:36:06,959 --> 00:36:08,812
Wait!
767
00:36:08,836 --> 00:36:10,772
There's a page missing.
768
00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:13,107
Somebody ripped it out.
769
00:36:13,131 --> 00:36:15,568
What kind of an idiot
would do such a thing?
770
00:36:15,592 --> 00:36:17,904
I don't know, but if I get
my hands on them, girl,
771
00:36:17,928 --> 00:36:20,448
I'm gonna let them have it.
772
00:36:20,472 --> 00:36:23,201
Oh.
773
00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:24,327
What? I had to write
774
00:36:24,351 --> 00:36:25,537
the werewolf's number down
somewhere.
775
00:36:25,561 --> 00:36:26,704
Mm-hmm.
776
00:36:26,728 --> 00:36:28,331
Never mind. What does it say?
777
00:36:28,355 --> 00:36:30,041
I'm not giving you his number.
778
00:36:30,065 --> 00:36:32,001
The other side.
779
00:36:32,025 --> 00:36:33,837
Oh, it says,
780
00:36:33,861 --> 00:36:36,714
"No self-respecting
Huluween drag variety show
781
00:36:36,738 --> 00:36:39,384
"can end without a big,
splashy musical finale
782
00:36:39,408 --> 00:36:41,678
featuring all the cast members."
783
00:36:41,702 --> 00:36:43,763
Even the tone-deaf ones
with two left feet?
784
00:36:43,787 --> 00:36:45,223
Yeah. Even you, bitch.
785
00:36:47,541 --> 00:36:49,727
Oh, there's the music!
786
00:36:49,751 --> 00:36:51,354
I guess the finale's
starting now.
787
00:36:51,378 --> 00:36:53,022
Oh, thank God.
788
00:36:53,046 --> 00:36:55,108
Listen, I missed my sister's
cousin's husband's
789
00:36:55,132 --> 00:36:56,568
accountant's bris for this.
790
00:36:56,592 --> 00:36:58,695
It's all happening.
791
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,614
This really is the big finale.
792
00:37:01,638 --> 00:37:04,617
Is there any rule against
taking a monster home with me?
793
00:37:04,641 --> 00:37:07,412
I don't know,
but tighten your corset.
794
00:37:07,436 --> 00:37:08,997
It's time.
795
00:37:09,021 --> 00:37:12,250
♪ ♪
796
00:37:12,274 --> 00:37:14,294
Oh, my God, wait,
is this the finale number?
797
00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:16,045
Wait, what?
798
00:37:16,069 --> 00:37:17,672
My pits are sweating.
799
00:37:17,696 --> 00:37:19,257
Someone get me out of here.
800
00:37:19,281 --> 00:37:22,635
- OMG, where are we?
- What's happening?
801
00:37:22,659 --> 00:37:24,429
Yeah!
802
00:37:24,453 --> 00:37:26,431
♪ It's over ♪
803
00:37:26,455 --> 00:37:30,268
♪ No more monsters
looking over my shoulder ♪
804
00:37:30,292 --> 00:37:34,522
♪ No more spooky songs
'cause this is the closer ♪
805
00:37:34,546 --> 00:37:37,525
♪ And it's time to say
goodbye to my friends ♪
806
00:37:37,549 --> 00:37:41,362
♪ Let's not do this again,
it's the end, girlfriend ♪
807
00:37:41,386 --> 00:37:43,406
The Dragstravaganza's over.
808
00:37:43,430 --> 00:37:45,575
Time to go our separate ways.
809
00:37:45,599 --> 00:37:47,243
I can't believe we did it sober.
810
00:37:47,267 --> 00:37:48,870
- Speak for yourself.
- I've been drunk for days.
811
00:37:48,894 --> 00:37:50,705
- No, really, girls.
- That's it. We're done.
812
00:37:50,729 --> 00:37:52,874
And we did it all with poise.
813
00:37:52,898 --> 00:37:54,417
Though we do have some thoughts
814
00:37:54,441 --> 00:37:56,920
on Monét's fashion choice.
815
00:37:56,944 --> 00:37:58,755
♪ ♪
816
00:37:58,779 --> 00:38:02,759
♪ And now we say good night ♪
817
00:38:02,783 --> 00:38:06,721
♪ To this world of fright ♪
818
00:38:06,745 --> 00:38:10,600
♪ No monsters or TV for me ♪
819
00:38:10,624 --> 00:38:11,935
I'm free!
820
00:38:11,959 --> 00:38:13,895
Okay. Is it over?
821
00:38:13,919 --> 00:38:16,147
No? No?
822
00:38:16,171 --> 00:38:18,149
I thought we done did
everything in the book.
823
00:38:18,173 --> 00:38:19,400
You did, girl.
824
00:38:19,424 --> 00:38:21,486
But we've gotta sing
at least one more chorus.
825
00:38:21,510 --> 00:38:23,738
Okay. A-one, two, three...
826
00:38:25,430 --> 00:38:26,783
Girl, what was that?
827
00:38:26,807 --> 00:38:29,369
I just wanted more screen time.
828
00:38:29,393 --> 00:38:31,120
♪ It's over ♪
829
00:38:31,144 --> 00:38:35,333
♪ No more monsters
looking over my shoulder ♪
830
00:38:35,357 --> 00:38:39,128
♪ No more spooky songs
'cause this is the closer ♪
831
00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:42,131
♪ And it's time to say
goodbye to my friends ♪
832
00:38:42,155 --> 00:38:46,427
♪ Let's not do this again,
it's the end, girlfriend ♪
833
00:38:46,451 --> 00:38:50,431
♪ No ghouls, no bats,
nighty-night, it's over ♪
834
00:38:50,455 --> 00:38:54,144
♪ We won't come back,
nighty-night, it's over ♪
835
00:38:54,168 --> 00:38:58,398
♪ No ghosts, just pass,
nighty-night, it's over ♪
836
00:38:58,422 --> 00:38:59,899
♪ We won't come back ♪
837
00:38:59,923 --> 00:39:02,402
I'm getting back in my crypt.
838
00:39:02,426 --> 00:39:04,654
♪ No ghouls, no bats ♪
Nuh-uh.
839
00:39:04,678 --> 00:39:06,531
♪ Nighty-night, it's over ♪
840
00:39:06,555 --> 00:39:10,451
♪ We won't come back,
nighty-night, it's over ♪
841
00:39:10,475 --> 00:39:14,414
♪ No ghosts, just pass,
nighty-night, it's over ♪
842
00:39:14,438 --> 00:39:15,999
♪ We won't come back ♪
843
00:39:16,023 --> 00:39:17,167
Until next year!
844
00:39:17,191 --> 00:39:19,127
♪ It's over ♪
845
00:39:19,151 --> 00:39:23,131
♪ No more monsters
looking over my shoulder ♪
846
00:39:23,155 --> 00:39:27,260
♪ No more spooky songs
'cause this is the closer ♪
847
00:39:27,284 --> 00:39:30,096
♪ And it's time to say
goodbye to my friends ♪
848
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:34,559
♪ Let's not do this again,
it's the end, girlfriend ♪
849
00:39:34,583 --> 00:39:36,603
Something's happening.
850
00:39:36,627 --> 00:39:39,481
I think it worked.
This really is the end.
851
00:39:39,505 --> 00:39:42,525
Oh, farewell, everyone!
852
00:39:42,549 --> 00:39:46,112
It's been real,
but it's not been fun.
853
00:39:46,136 --> 00:39:48,031
Ta-ta, bitches!
854
00:39:48,055 --> 00:39:50,283
- Bye.
- Suck it, Jackie.
855
00:39:50,307 --> 00:39:52,911
Finally, I haven't eaten,
in, like 20 minutes.
856
00:39:52,935 --> 00:39:54,787
A world record for you.
857
00:39:54,811 --> 00:39:58,774
♪ Let's not do this again,
it's the end, girlfriend ♪
858
00:40:03,987 --> 00:40:07,217
We did it.
859
00:40:07,241 --> 00:40:09,010
Key word, "we."
860
00:40:09,034 --> 00:40:11,846
Yes, yes,
I think we both learned
861
00:40:11,870 --> 00:40:13,640
a very valuable lesson
here today.
862
00:40:13,664 --> 00:40:17,101
That, uh, cooperation
and teamwork
863
00:40:17,125 --> 00:40:19,270
are the only way to get through
this crazy world?
864
00:40:19,294 --> 00:40:21,689
No, I learned that
865
00:40:21,713 --> 00:40:24,484
it's every bitch for herself.
866
00:40:24,508 --> 00:40:27,570
What are you gonna do,
bedazzle me to death?
867
00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:28,905
You're toast, bitch.
868
00:40:28,929 --> 00:40:32,534
No. No!
869
00:40:32,558 --> 00:40:35,119
No. No!
870
00:40:37,604 --> 00:40:39,874
Ladies, you're on.
871
00:40:39,898 --> 00:40:41,376
Girl, get yourself together.
872
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,003
It was just a dream.
873
00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:46,673
- Right.
- We still have a show to do.
874
00:40:46,697 --> 00:40:49,884
What do you say we go
out there and knock 'em dead?
875
00:40:49,908 --> 00:40:51,636
I am not changing
my shoes, though.
876
00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:54,597
Girl, me either.
877
00:41:00,627 --> 00:41:03,964
♪ ♪
63841
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