All language subtitles for Kate_&_Leopold_2002_sub-english

Time.

Time, it has been proposed,
is the fourth dimension.

And yet, for mortal man,

time has no dimension at all.

We're like horses with blinders,
seeing only what lies before us.

Forever guessing the future...

and fabricating the past.

BriIliant.

Quite right, Your Grace.

How, you ask, can we lift

these shackles and live...

not in the moment, but

in the glorious expanse
of time's

continuum?

Listen

and I shall tell you.

The secret

lies in the enduring

power of our achievements,

our creations!

As the pyramids
testify to the Egyptians,

so my glorious erection
shall represent

our culture in perpetuity.

Behold rising before you,

the greatest erection
on the continent.

The greatest erection
of the age!

The greatest erection
on the planet!

Hold this.

For the Herald, Your Grace.

I understand you're making
an important announcement tonight.

Good afternoon, ladies.
Excuse me, please.

And the Perrier Jouet
should be chiIled.

You understand?

Leopold! Where have you been?

Leopold!

Otis, I demand explication!

It's half past five!
He's not even dressed!

He'll be ready, my Lord.
I assure you.

I don't want him ready.
I want him resplendent!

Ah, Miss Blaine.

You dance like a... herd of cattle.

You are a rare woman...

who lights up a room

simply by leaving it.

Might you be rich,
Miss Blaine? You see,

while I am the third Duke,
the little secret...

of those of us
in the royal court,

aside from our general
uselessness,

is our massive indebtedness.

It's always been
your misfortune, Leopold,

that you so thoroughly amuse yourself
with the sound of your voice.

In a life as stagnant as mine,

that I can amuse myself at all
is an evolutionary marvel.

- Please don't touch that.
- The device you were jabbering about.

To take priests to the bell tower.

To take anyone, Uncle,
to the floor they so desire.

BuiIdings continue to climb.

Soon they'll outstrip
the stamina of our legs.

You speak of progress
and invention.

Yet what I offer you downstairs
is reality.

Take a wife. Marry.

Marriage...

Marriage is the promise
of eternal love.

I cannot promise eternally
what I have never felt momentarily.

Born into privilege, yet perversely
ashamed of it. That is your tragedy.

My God! If my brother could
only see you, he'd be heartbroken.

- You are no Duke!
- Of course not.

The monarchy is dead.
We are relics. That is reality.

The new Royals are men
of accomplishment.

Men like Roebling,
with his bridge,

Edison with his lamp,
Diesel, Bell, Westinghouse...

Those men made themselves
from nothing!

You, on the other hand,
were born with everything,

and from it, fashioned nothing.

As of tonight,
I wash my hands of you.

Take a good look at
your dance card.

A wealthy bride
is your only surety.

Your Grace,

May I present Miss Tree,
of the Trees of Schenectady.

Miss Tree?

It's an honor to make your royal
acquaintance, Your Highness.

Shall we?

Many dreams, all useless.

Who are you?

No, no, no!

I don't want to harm you.
Stop, please.

Wait!

Pardon me...

Go! Go!

Stop! Please!

Oh my God...

Stop!

Let go!
Just let go! It's okay!

You don't understand! Let go!

I don't want to hurt you!
Let go!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

We must remember, Bart,
that sometimes...

it's okay to color outside
the lines.

Hello?

My Palm PiIot,
you stiII have it.

- Kate, it's one in the morning.
- And clearly you're awake,

- so what is the infraction?
- I don't know

where your Palm PiIot is and I can't do
this right now. I'm expecting a call.

Oh, what? Sorry, baby.

She is not a happy person.

You know what, Stuart?

Kate, please.
I've got somebody here.

I know. I saw her.

- No, you didn't.
- I did.

It's a "him",
if that's any consolation.

So now that you know
I'm not getting laid, go to bed.

Do not hang up on me, Stuart.

- Don't do that.
- Kate... please.

I beg of you,
something big is happening.

Something that validates
my entire...

validates your entire life.
What could that possibly be?

Are you sitting down?

Yes.

- No, you're not.
- I am.

You're not.

Okay.

I found it.

- What did you find?
- The portal.

A crack in the fabric of time.

Over the East River.
Just where I said it would be.

Found a portal...

A portal into April 28th,
1876. I jumped...

off the Brooklyn Bridge

and took a walk in 1876 today.

I followed

my great-great-grandpa
around old New York.

- Are you listening?
- Avidly.

This is the twist, Kate.
Here's the kicker.

What's the kicker?

He followed me home.

The Duke of Buffalo...

The Duke of Albany
followed you home...

I told you about him.
He's a brilliant

engineer. He patented the counter-weight
pulley. He invented the elevator.

You know what, Stuart?
I'm not your girlfriend anymore.

I haven't been for a whole month.
You can tell me the truth.

I am telling you the truth.

You can tell me you picked up
a transvestite

in Times Square.
I don't care.

This is it, Kate, in a nutshell.
Our downfall.

You never once believed in me.

I did, Stuart. For four years.

- And I got burnt.
- Okay. You wanna know who he is?

I'll tell you.

He's a hacker. High end. English.

I know him from Columbia.

He's in town for the Mac Expo
at the Javits.

We went out, got sloppy on Guinness,
he passed out on my couch.

And that's the truth?

That's the truth.
Are you happy now?

You know what, Stuart?

I blew my best years on you.

Those were your best?

Look...

I'm sorry. I have to go.

Orange alert.

Take a rest.
It's okay.

You!

- It's okay.
- Where am I?

There's no easy explanation
for that.

If it's a ransom you seek,
my uncle won't pay a cent.

- Except, perhaps, for my demise.
- You're not being kidnapped.

Bart! Quiet!

I can scarcely see,
thanks to your spray.

My eyes feel like Steak au Poivre.
So I ask you again, where am I?

Where am I? For all I know,
you might be Jack the Ripper!

You'd have me believe that I'm being
detained in the time to come?

Yes. Quiet!
He needs a walk.

And you'd have me believe that
you have found a crack in time.

You should understand.
You're a scientist.

You invented the elevator.

What is an elevator?
Where the hell am I?

I told you.

You haven't actually gone
anywhere.

- You're stiII in New York.
- That, sir, is not New York.

I'm afraid it is.

No, Kate...

Hello. What's your name?

- Leopold.
- Tell me something.

I'm having trouble with my G-5.

How much RAM do I need

to properly run OS 9.6?

Clearly the Mac Expo is out.

So you must be...

a man out of time?
Or Sergeant Pepper?

- We need some privacy...
- I want my Palm PiIot.

- Maybe later on.
- I just want my Palm PiIot!

- No, No!
- Give me my Palm PiIot!

This is madness. Who was that?
I feel as if I've seen her...

Women have changed
since your time.

They've become dangerous.

Try the landing!

You say this is no kidnapping.

You say you mean no harm.
Then why wiII you not unlock the door?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry
about her, about...

With all due respect, I can't let you
just run around free out there.

This is New York City. It's not
such a safe place anymore.

And you look like some psychotic
escapee from a Renaissance faire.

I understand you have
some anxiety.

But you have to trust me.
I'm gonna get you home.

I promise.

Bart!

The portal opens up again next week.
Monday. That was my back-up date,

in case I didn't make it
last night. It's on a cycle,

sort of like a total eclipse.
Once ever 20 years. You understand?

Generally, I understand everything.
Since I met you, nothing.

I assume I'm in a nightmare brought
on by agita or else I'm dead.

You're not dead.

Come here. Sit down.

Here.

Want some miIk in yours?

Bart! Can I just have!

Sorry. He's really got to go out.

I'd be honored
if you took a look at those.

I'll explain everything when
I get back. He's got to go out now.

Back in five.

One quick trip to Spectra,
Bart and you and I

wiII be Nobel...

Laureates.

Come on, Bart.

Let's go!

Come on!

Let's go!

Jesus!

Good boy, Bart!

Stay!

Stay right!

Stay!

Bart, please...

stay!

Stuart,

you forgot the pointy thing!

Stuart?

He gave me the Palm PiIot,
but forgot the pointy thing.

I've been warned about you.

Really? And what, pray tell,
did the great disappointment say?

That you were dangerous,
though you hardly look it.

A lady in trousers
isn't dangerous, merely plain.

- I take it you're a career woman.
- Market research.

Fine avocation for women, research.
Perfect for the feminine mind.

You're a trip, Lionel.

I myself once courted
a librarian in Sussex.

Good for you.

I must confess,

I feel as like we've met
on a previous occasion.

Well, seeing as how I've never met
a single friend of Stuart's,

and I'm not even sure he has any,
I don't see how that's possible.

Oh! Bart!

He just made Lake Erie out there.
You can't just toss a dog out

- into the hall like that.
- I assure you, I did not.

Let's go.

- I beg your pardon?
- Come on.

Let's go.

Bart!

Hang on a second.

Sorry about the elevator.
I've got them on the phone right now.

Okay, Gracy.

- This is Lionel. Stuart's friend.
- How do you do?

Ten minutes?
I need someone here right now!

- Watch it, man!
- I beg your pardon.

Hey! What are you doing?

We need to be going that way. Hello?

- There's an electronics store. Hello?
- I'm sorry.

There's a patch of grass.

Take him there to do his business.

WiII you give this to Stuart,
please? It's his cable biII.

This morning, from the Battery

to the Bronx, elevators
have mysteriously stopped...

Excuse me, gentlemen.
I beg your pardon.

I beg your pardon.

Are you gonna remove that?

I beg your pardon?

Pick it up
and put it in the trash.

Absolutely not.

Maybe you don't understand.

It's against the law
to leave it there.

Are you suggesting, madame,
there exists a law

compelling gentlemen to lay hold
of canine bowel movements?

I'm suggesting you pick the poop up
and throw it away now.

I refuse. Respectfully.

Alright. What's your name,
fancy pants?

Leopold...

Alexis... Elija...

Walker Thomas

Garrett Mountbatten.

Alright...

Stuart.

Have a nice day.

I appreciate you putting in a word
for me, but J.J.'s not back from London.

Right. Bye.

What's with the elevators?

- Darci.
- Last page.

I'm sorry.

Did everyone live happily
ever after?

He lost his leg to gangrene
waiting for her on the island.

But they're together now.

- Wonderful.
- Oh, you got your Palm PiIot back.

A nightmare. Okay,

who do I owe?

Bobby at Hasbro. Reeves at Crunch.
The finals came in on "Love for Sale".

The call with the studio's at 4.
The margarine thing's

in 15 in the conference room.

And one more thing. I know

your brother gets back
from his retreat tomorrow

and if you want something
in the fridge or something...

Darci,

can you tell me
why I'm upset right now?

Because...

J.J.

Called. That is why I have
a cell phone.

- So you can call me...
- He didn't call.

He just popped his head in
and spoke

- two sentences.
- So he's back?

Margo says he's gonna make a big
announcement about the merger.

Margo? How does she know
anything about anything?

Oh. Alright.
So he popped his head in.

Tell me exactly what he said, Darci.
Start at the beginning and tell me...

He said "Tell Kate I'm gonna sit
in on Farmer's Bounty".

J.J.

Good morning, Kate.

Good morning.

I'll see you in there.

Good Lord, it stiII stands!

The world has changed all around it,
but Roebling's erection stiII stands!

That, my friend, is a miracle.

What?

It's a miracle!

It's a bridge.

When did they adapt it
for steam engines?

The fire brigade!

I don't know how it happened.
I found him in the shaft.

Stuart.

Leopold, what are you doing out here?
Get back inside!

One, two, three...

They're taking him
to Goodman Memorial.

Fresh creamery butter.

Is there anything more comforting?
There is,

and I know you will agree
when you try Farmer's Bounty,

with the essence of real butter
in every bite.

Your first choice.

However, 45 percent of our demo circled
"shifty" as his key descriptor.

Not good.

I say everybody should be trying

Farmer's Bounty...

with the real rich,
creamy taste

of real butter. Try it,

and you will be losing pounds.

Poof! Boom! Voila!

Your second choice.

Unfortunately,
the group found him

obnoxious, abrasive,
and a whopping 72 percent

found him just plain creepy.

The spot rolls out in four days.

- What the hell am I supposed to do?
- We have to do

another session. Tomorrow.

I had my assistant book
the response room at National

so we can decide then and there.

Are you alright?

- I'm fine.
- Kate, I asked for a de-caf.

I need you to call Barney's.
I need

a white blouse, size small,
in Kate's office

by lunch.

Oh dear...

Hi, you've reached Stuart.
Please leave a message.

Leopold? Don't be frightened.
This is Stuart.

Is it Bell's talking telegraph?

I saw a prototype
at last year's faire.

Pick up the green handset

- because I need to talk to you.
- Are you there?

- Hello?
- Leopold, thank God.

They're taking me to x-ray.
Everything's gonna be fine,

but you have to stay
in the apartment.

- Do you understand me?
- I saw Roebling's bridge today.

- I saw it. Complete.
- Yes. Yes.

But listen to me.
You can't go out again.

- You have to stay in the apartment.
- For how long?

I'll be back tonight, I promise.
No more field trips.

Hello? Stuart?

Hello?

Blast!

Hello.

Hello.

- Who are you?
- Hector.

My mom works late on Wednesdays,
so I watch TV with Stuart.

Want some Pirate's Booty?

Excuse me, J.J.
Thank you for the shirt.

- That was very nice of you.
- Come in.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Oh, good. She's here right now.

I'll tell her.

Okay.

Bye.

Sit down.

That was Barry. He was

thriIled with your work
at the screening.

Oh, good.

You're a rarity
among women, Kate.

- I'm sorry?
- You don't cling to iIlusion.

You don't get caught up
in emotion.

You don't do pretty.

I don't?

You skew male.
You're like a man.

A man who understands women...

their desires, their needs...

You understand them,
but you're not really one of them.

- You don't mind my being frank, do you?
- No. I don't.

Eda-mame?

Kate?

But one day he lowered
the Jolly Roger...

and set saiI in search of

another kind of treasure.

Not money, not jewels,
not gold... but a bride.

Despite his being a ruffian of
the brine, fearless in his plunder

and merciless with his sword,

the Pirate King was also Ionely.

You see,
he had never met a lady.

He never met a girl?

No. Not a girl, not a lady,
not even his own mother.

So what happened?

As with all comedies,
the most ridiculous thing imaginable.

The Pirate King fell in love
with the Major General's daughter.

I saw the premiere last month

at the Fifth Avenue Theatre.

Since when is "Penzance"
at the Fifth?

Is it your habit to simply enter
a conversation without introduction?

You are deep in it.

It's cool. I'm an actor, too.
I'm Charlie. I live downstairs.

Kate McKay, Senior Vice President.

Darci, it hasn't happened.
All he did was dangle a carrot.

UntiI he makes a decision,
the pressure's doubled.

When's he gonna make a decision?

We're having dinner tomorrow
to discuss it further...

- at Commune.
- I have Stuart on the line.

He says he's in the hospital.

Leopold is alone
in my apartment.

God knows what could happen.
Do you realize he got outside today?

Of course he did.
I made him walk your dog.

What?

You can't do that!
He can't go outside!

Jesus Christ!

He's from 1876!
He doesn't know our customs.

If something happened to him,
it could be

catastrophic!

If he doesn't go back
to ApriI 28, 1876,

he won't get married, have chiIdren and
what happened to the elevators today'll

- seem like a walk in the park.
- This is embarrassing now, alright?

- Someone has to keep an eye on him.
- He... Stuart...

he's a grown man. He's fine.

- Wait.
- I'm gonna leave.

Kate, please!

Just take this to Spectra.
Get it developed.

You'll see I'm telling the truth.

You want double prints?

That's not funny.
This is not a joke.

You need help, Stuart.
You need help.

Charlie?

Hey, Kate!

Can I see you downstairs
for a minute?

I invited someone to dinner.

He's up there all alone.
Stuart's in the hospital.

- I didn't think you'd have a problem.
- No, you didn't think.

You came home a day early
from actor camp...

It's not actor camp. And, yeah,
I came home a day early.

There was this Tai Chi broad
who kept trying to

stick her fingers...

This is the point.
You immediately march upstairs

to my ex-boyfriend's apartment,
and you invite

- his freakish friend down...
- That's what it's about.

Not that I went up there.
It's that it's your ex-boyfriend...

It's not about Stuart!

Greetings, Kate.

- Charles.
- Hey, Leo.

Be nice.

So when's Stuart getting back?

Couple of days. Maybe a week.

He promised me that he would
return late this evening.

Maybe he wiII. He's so big
on keeping his promises.

May I have the next course?

There is no next course.

Where I come from, the meal is
the result of reflection and study.

Menus are prepared in advance,

timed to perfection. It's said
without the culinary arts,

the crudeness of reality

would be unbearable.

We had a saying in the McKay house:
"You shake and shake the catsup bottle.

None wiII come,
and then a lot'II."

What is that?

I beg your pardon?

Why are you standing?

I'm accustomed to standing
when a lady leaves the table.

Charles, when Stuart
and your sister were engaged,

did you happen to read his papers
on the temporal universe?

I spent the morning
perusing them, and must confess...

Stuart and I were never engaged.
Not even close.

But I did read his papers.

- To show support.
- Is Stuart stiII trying to make

a time machine?

That's the beauty of it.
He discovered

no machine was necessary. All one
had to do was develop formulae

to forecast portals natural windows
in the fabric of time.

Apparently, Stuart located one...

utilizing modern...

utilizing modern theories
of weather prediction.

What's a portal?

An opening which exists for but
a moment. This explains why...

one must jump through it from a height,
to achieve a required velocity.

The speed of gravity,

to be exact.
It's quite briIliant.

You are so Method. You don't even
break for a second. He's unbelievable!

Stop it, please! No more!

I beg you.

I'm tired.
Can you just go away?

Can you go away?

She's drunk, Leo.

Shut up, Charlie!
And you, can you go upstairs?

I am truly sorry if I have
offended you in any way.

Goodnight, Charles.

Goodnight, Leo.

What the hell was that?

He thinks he's from the 19th Century.
He thinks he's a Duke.

- I know. Isn't that cool?
- No.

- He's in character. He's an actor.
- Really? For what show?

You know that just because someone
doesn't have a paying gig,

it doesn't mean they're
not working on their craft.

What's going on here?

I think there's something
wrong with his...

thing.

Give me that telephone.

No!

- Give it to me.
- No.

I need the...

What do you expect me to do?
You took away my cell phone.

They're not allowed
on hospital property.

- I have to make a phone call!
- You're not going to make one now.

You don't understand. This is
a very important phone call.

I have to leave this hospital
now. I can't

- be here any more.
- Mr. Besser,

I am tired of telling you this.

You are not going nowhere
untiI Dr. Feinstein signs

your release!

Did you ever take
any Earth Science, Esther?

You look like a smart woman.
Ever hear of the TimelSpace Continuum?

Sounds important, doesn't it?

Well, it is, and it's broken!

And I'm the only guy who can fix it.
So why don't you go down

the hall and get on your little
telephone and call Dr. Feinstein...

Goodnight, Mr. Besser.

You tell him that I...

You tell him that...

Bart, shut up!

That thing is a damned hazard!

It's just a toaster!

Insertion of bread into
that so-called toaster produces

merely warm bread! Inserting
the bread twice produces charcoal!

To make proper toast,

it requires one and a half insertions,
which is something

for which the apparatus
doesn't begin to allow!

One assumes that

when the General of Electric buiIt it,
he might have tried using it!

One assumes the General
might take pride

in his creations, instead of just
foisting them on an unsuspecting public!

You know something?
Nobody gives a rat's ass...

that you have to push
the toast down twice.

You know why?
Because

everybody pushes
their toast down

- twice!
- Not where I come from.

No, because where
you come from...

toast is the result
of reflection and study!

You mock me. But one day,
when you've awoken

from a pleasant slumber
to the scent of

a warm Brioche with marmalade
and fresh creamery butter,

you'll understand that life is not
solely comprised of tasks, but tastes.

Say that again.

Pardon me?

- Did they start yet?
- Yes.

Session list.

Leopold, Darci. Darci,

Leopold.
I'd like him to read.

Can you tag him on at the end?

Darci wiII take you to the green room
and explain everything.

I need to work out.
I need a place I can work out.

If I could get Mr. Duke.

- Is he ready? Where is he?
- Oh my God,

look at this! Let's skip this one.

Mr. Duke,

right here on the floor.
Excuse me.

That's your mark.
Just stand on that tape line...

Forget this guy.
I can't waste any more time.

We need a decision now.

Alright. We've got plenty
of good choices. Let's cut it off.

That would be a mistake, J.J.

Kate, the client wants to move on.

We should see this last guy.
Two minutes!

I think he looks
like the Quaker Oats guy.

It's not really about what you think.
It's about what they think.

They've been in a coma all day,
and now look at them.

To them, this guy is a dream.

He's handsome, honest,

curteous. Stands
when you walk in a room.

Brings you Brioche in bed.

If you eat his margarine,

maybe your hips wiII shrink

and he'll come to your door.

I take it this is to be delivered
in direct address, as on "Geronimo".

- Geronimo?
- He means "Geraldo".

Exactly.

Okay. Quiet please.

And... action!

Start talking, bud.

Fresh creamery butter.

Is there anything more comforting?

I say there is.

And perhaps you'll agree

when you sample
fat-free Farmer's Bounty,

with the genuine essence of

creamery butter in every bite.

With every mouthful of
Farmer's Bounty,

you shall receive butter's
luxurious comfort in your mouth,

without adding to the luxury
of your waistline.

Not bad, Kate.
Where'd you find him?

He lives in my buiIding.

And this one.

Wait. And here...

- That was spectacular, Kate.
- Thanks, J.J.

We have a lot to talk
about tonight at dinner.

- Nice work, Mr. Margarine.
- Thank you.

Outfit was a great idea. Nice.

You seem pleased.

You did so great in there!

You are gonna be on
a national television spot!

I take it you're dining
with that man tonight.

Oh, J.J. He's my boss.

You require a chaperone.
His intentions are obvious.

I'm alone with you.
Do I need a chaperone?

We're not courting, Kate.
If we were, as a man of honor,

I would inform you
of my intentions in writing.

Hey!

Why don't we take one of these?

They're for tourists.

Sorry.

Hello?

Hey!

Kate!

Hey, you asshole!

I'm going to get you!

Asshole!

Dammit...

Give me your hand!

What?

Your hand, woman!

What do you think
you're doing?

I warn you, scoundrel,

I was trained to ride at the King's
Academy and schooled in weaponry

by the palace guard.
You stand no chance.

Where you run, I shall ride.
And when you stop,

the steel of this strap
shall be lodged in your brain.

- Your boyfriend's a very good rider.
- Yeah.

Are you for real?

Pardon me?

Are you for real?

I believe so.

You're a Duke.

I was born a Duke.
But I've never felt like one.

Stay.

Sit.

Now you're fit.
Stay.

Stay.

Good boy.

I'm off to dinner.

- What are you two doing?
- I don't know.

We'll watch
the rest of the game

- or go out or something.
- Thank you.

Kate, may I repeat my offer
to serve as a chaperone?

- No, thank you, Leopold.
- Don't you find this inappropriate?

- As her brother, I would think...
- As her brother, I would think...

that my sister would invite me
to an audition.

- Could be just me, though. Seems kind.
- Charlie,

you're not exactly
a margarine spokesperson.

I can't sell butter?

I don't mean to be insulting...

It is insulting. I'm an actor. You don't
have faith in me to sell butter?

- No.
- I can do

British. I'm an actor.
I can be anybody!

A very, very good actor.
You are!

Okay,

a Victorian dude who's never seen
a Mets game, watching tv.

Okay.

Scene: I say,
are those little people

in that box of phosphorous?
I believe it is!

This game's more beguiling
than cricket!

Indian: Good golly, oh Jesus! It looks
like Mike Piazza just won the game!

How about Canadian?
Oh, you like butter, huh?

What's that about?

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

When your friend
walked in in that outfit,

I was getting nervous for you.

"If you eat his margarine,
maybe your hips wiII shrink."

BriIliant. You saved PhiI
from his own ambivalence.

I knew it was the way to go.
In my gut.

I'm counting on that gut.

Can I get a bottle

of your '95 Lynch Bages
and a bottle of Evian?

I'll tell you one thing. Your friend
is gonna be bigger than Mr. Whipple.

Thanks.

You're not sleeping
with him, are you?

No.

No.

Leo, come on.

See the girl with the long
brown hair? That's...

- Patrice.
- She's lovely.

She's mine.

Congratulations.

Hey, everybody, this is Leo!
Leo, meets everybody.

- What's up? Dennis.
- Shelby, AIlison, Monica.

And this

is the insatiable Patrice.

- Hey, Charlie.
- Hi.

How do you do?
Patrice, let me assist you.

Thanks.

Let me get that for you.

Here you go.

You look nice tonight.

Like a Judy Blume book.

Good, because I thought for a moment
that body of water was a moat.

No, that's a pond.

- The gardens are devastating.
- They are.

They're very, very beautiful.

You'll have to come
and see them firsthand.

- Right.
- After the merger,

I'll be stuck over there,
setting things up.

I'll be craving
a little face time

with my new top honcho
in New York.

- What are you saying?
- I'm saying you should

come visit. I'll fly you
over for the weekend.

Oh, yeah. I heard that.

The part before that.

The part about the head honcho.

I didn't understand that part.

How about catching
an opera Saturday?

La Boheme's at the Met.

So the audience is about to leave,
she comes back on stage,

and she squirts the audience
with this turkey baster fiIled

with this pine mist. And she screams
"Un-sex me! Un-sex me!"

There were no tears.

- Just raw human passion.
- Isn't WiIlem Dafoe

- part of that group?
- Yeah.

He did this monologue about
how all the best things in life

are hidden
in people's basements.

Like the Louvre.

I'm sorry.
You were saying, Charles?

What about the Louvre?

Tell us what you were going to say.

Only a fraction of the Louvre
is on the walls. The rest is

in the basement.

You've been in the basement
of the Louvre?

- Yes.
- I was an Art History major at Vassar.

So what's down there?

That's where the real show begins.
Unspoiled by dilettantes.

DaVinci. Michelangelo.
David. Chardin.

"Let me light that
for you, Monica."

"This? It's my family crest.
Been in the family for..."

"What's in the basement?
The works of DaVinci,

Michelangelo, Chardin, David..."

"All surrounded by great coral sponges
to absorb the moisture."

Just for the record, I was working it.
I was in the zone.

And I would have gotten her number,

if you hadn't turned the evening
into a guided tour of the Louvre.

My apologies.

Let's get one thing straight.
Patrice thought you were cute...

probably gay and cute. And cute,
Leo, is the kiss of death.

- Perhaps.
- "Perhaps"? Certainly.

I believe this is her "number".

Patrice has not an inkling of your
affections. And it's no wonder.

- You, Charles, are a Merry Andrew.
- A what?

Everything plays a farce to you.
Women respond to sincerity.

This requires pulling one's tongue
from one's cheek.

No one wants to be romanced
by a buffoon.

That number rings her?

- Yes.
- So ring her tomorrow.

I can't.
She gave the number to you.

Only because I told her
of your affections.

What did you say?

That you admired her, but you
were hesitant to make an overture

since you'd been told
she was courting another.

Shit! That's good!

What did she say?

She handed me the napkin.

Charles, it's quite late.

She won't be home yet. I leave her
a message, ball's in her court.

You're ladling calculation upon comedy.
Keep the ball in your court.

You're right.

Okay.

- Nothing need be done untiI tomorrow.
- Tomorrow. Then I make my move.

An overture, Charles.
Make your intentions known.

Think of pleasing her,
not vexing her.

No vexing...

You're intoxicated. We should retire.
I'm sure Kate wiII be home.

- I doubt it.
- But it's nearly midnight.

You like her, don't you?

- Who?
- Kate.

- Oh, Charles...
- You do. You like my sister.

You've made your intentions
known, right?

- You're being wicked.
- Leo,

commune's around the corner. We could
stop in, you can give me pointers...

Pull out a chair or two. You could
throw out a gesture here or there.

It's one thing with Patrice.
You don't give a shit.

It's a whole other ball of wax
with a girl you like, huh?

Who's the Merry Andrew now?

You want

to vex my sister!

I have to confess
that I'm a bit confused.

No, thank you.

When you asked me to dinner tonight,
I thought it was to discuss...

- The merger.
- Yes. Right. Yes.

And a possible promotion.

Yes. That, too.

And dinner is winding down,

and we haven't even discussed

anything remotely relevant
to what we came here to...

I've never seen you this flustered.
You haven't even kissed me yet.

Right. Well...

I like you, J.J. Quite a bit.

As a matter of fact,

I think you would agree that

a successful working relationship
requires a great deal of...

What exactly is
our working relationship?

Hi, Kate!

Hi, Charlie.

- What are you doing here?
- We just thought

we'd come by to say hi. J.J., right?

Might I have a word with you?

Now?

Privately.

No!

Mr. Margarine.

Please join us.

And where did you say it is?

- In Sussex.
- Near Ballmour?

Yes.

- BuiIt in the 18th Century?
- Early 18th Century.

Really? Are you quite sure?

Yes.

- He's got pictures, Leopold.
- Perhaps you were swindled,

because I can assure you
as of the late 19th Century,

there's nothing but
farmland near Ballmour.

- You're mistaken.
- That's not possible.

It's quite possible, Leopold,
that you are mistaken.

Ballmour's the only Manor in the county.
I know becase I grew up there.

It's irrelevant where you grew up.

Leo, do you enjoy opera?

- I do. Do you?
- Oh yes.

It keeps me alive.

Do you have a favorite?

La Boheme.
I've seen it twelve times.

That's how I learned
to speak French.

- You speak French?
- Fluently.

What did he say?

How sweet your face looks gently
encircled by the soft moonlight.

- I like that.
- From the opening scene

of Boheme.
A stunning duet.

Andre sings it to Mimi.

Andre...

I invited Kate to the Met
next week. She's never been.

Patrone is singing Andre,
and she turned me down.

Can you explain that?

Boheme is one of man's
great achievements,

and should not be missed.

But perhaps Kate resists
on moral grounds.

- How so?
- Should we get the check?

Some feel that to court
a woman in one's employ

is nothing more than a serpentine
effort to transform a lady to a whore.

J.J.

This guy's charming.

The Duke of Margarine
thinks me a serpent.

- No, he doesn't.
- Serpent's

too grand a word.
Simply a braggart and a cad.

Who knows less French than I,
if that's possible.

By the way,

there's no Andre in Boheme.
It's Rudolfo.

And though it's set in France,
it's rarely played in French,

as it is written in Italian.

Goodnight.

Sorry.

Might I have a word?

- Morning.
- Hi.

- You want some coffee?
- No, thanks.

- Do you want to read your paper?
- No, thank you, Charlie.

I want to go to work and try
and clean up this mess you made.

You sure you don't?

Kate!

Kate!

- What?
- I just thought maybe

you'd want a kiwi for the subway.

That's papaya, Charlie.

You're right.

But while using the product,

eighty percent found
the product too soft to be...

effective.
This, of course, creates

a conundrum for us marketeers.

How do we maintain a soft feel
on the exterior

of a plastic wrap or pack,
while retaining the useful

tensile strength in the sheets?

I'm gonna suggest
to the Something Soft people...

to scale back to a limited release
of the product

in the mid-Atlantic states.

Dearest Katherine,

I behaved as an imbecile
last night,

animated in part by drink,

in part by your beauty,

and in part
by my own foolish pride.

And for that
I am profoundly sorry.

Please accept
as a gesture of apology

a private dinner on the roof tonight
at eight o'clock.

Where are we
with Farmer's Bounty?

Kate?

Care to share with us?

Farmer's Bounty?

Where we are.

Where we are is good.

As you know,
we found our spokesperson.

The response room final showed
a ninety-six in the top two boxes.

His key female descriptors were...

"handsome", "romantic"...
with several write-ins

of "What a hunk".

Great.

J. J!

J.J. Hi...

I want to apologize again
for last night.

Things didn't have
to get that way.

I appreciate that.

So everything's okay?

Yes, Kate.

I didn't jump. I fell.

There's a difference.
A subtle difference, but a difference.

- Why did you fall down there?
- Because there was no elevator.

And you feel that was your fault?

You know, I can see

that you are a very busy man.
I'm sure there are many people

clamoring for your attention.

But I am not one of them.
So would you please unlock this door?

I'm concerned you might be
a danger to yourself.

And in such cases,

State law requires
that I keep you...

Someone,
please, open this door!

Everything alright,
Doctor Geisler?

Yes, Gretchen. Everything's fine.

Stuart,

I'm going to prescribe something
called Prolixin.

It's a miId anti-psychotic.
Nothing too strong.

"I was wondering

if you'd like to accompany me...

to a spontaneous... If you're
previously engaged, I understand."

I'll see you tonight at 7:30.
Please don't be late.

I gotta talk to you about this.
Some of this shit here cannot be said.

Did you assemble
a bouquet for Patrice?

I'm gonna get one of these.
But you just can't tell a woman

- she's..."gracefully serene".
- This wiII not do.

Why?

What is wrong with this one?

The Orange LiIly implies
extreme hatred.

The Begonia and Lavender,
danger and suspicion, respectively.

Every flower
has a meaning, Charles.

Might I suggest the Amaryllis,
which declares

the recipient a most splendid
beauty. Or the Cabbage Rose.

Darci!

What is this?

It's a reply to Leopold's invitation.

You're going, right?

I haven't decided yet.

You haven't decided if you want to
have dinner on a rooftop with a Duke?

Who thinks he's from 1876!

- No! And I'd appreciate it if...
- Kate, come on!

I don't know what this guy
did to piss you off,

but that is the best apology letter
in the history of mankind!

Just sign it. It's 4:30.
We'll fax it.

Kate McKay's office!

They hung up.

Hi. Is Patrice there?

Patrice!

Hi. It's me...

- Charlie.
- Hey, Charlie.

I was just calling to see
if you got my flowers...

your flowers...

I'm calling to see if you got
the flowers I sent you.

I did.

And I was wondering

if you'd like to go
to a movie tonight,

and maybe afterwards

accompany me to dinner?

I understand completely
if you're otherwise engaged.

But...

I just wanted to say that...

Yeah...?

I wanted to say that...

you know...

you've made
an impression on me.

And it's not just the way
you look... which is great.

Your looks are top shelf.

I don't know. It's...

What?

You're graceful.

The way you move and speak.

Some people have a way
with words, and you...

you do.

The bottom line is, I like you.

Patrice?

What about seven?

Seven?

Seven would be heaven. Okay.

See you then.

It worked!

It worked well!

Who's going out with Patrice?
Charlie's going out with Patrice!

Better go get ready.

Better get changed.

Shouldn't change too much,
because she likes me for who I am.

- Hey.
- Charlie, you look fantastic.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I have a date. I gotta go.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Kate?
- Yeah.

Have a good time tonight.

Bye.

My God...

This is beautiful.

The very word
for which I was searching.

May I?

She was a real romantic,
my mom.

When Prince Charles
married Lady Di,

she had a party,
and she made crumpets

and jam. It was like
a Super Bowl party, but for moms.

She cried for a week.

I don't know the story
of Prince Charles and Lady Di.

You don't want to.

It's a cautionary tale.
Further proof.

- Of what?
- You can't live a fairy tale.

I'm not very good with men.

Perhaps you haven't found
the right one.

Maybe.

Or maybe that whole love thing is just
a grown-up version of Santa Claus.

Just a myth we've been fed
since chiIdhood,

so we keep buying magazines
and joining

clubs and doing therapy and watching
movies with hit pop songs

played over love montages.
All to explain

why our "love-Santa" keeps
getting caught in the chimney.

Otis always told me
"love is a leap".

Lamentably,
I was never inspired to jump.

By my 30th birthday, I had become
a blemish on the family name.

So my uncle brought me to this country,
with the proviso I marry an American.

A girl with a good deal of...

Charm?

Money.

Since my parents died, our family
fortune had become depleted.

I would be married now
if I hadn't followed Stuart.

I was to announce
a bride that night.

Who?

I don't know.

Someone.

One of them.

What are you doing?

I'm just cleaning up.

Would you do me
the honor of a dance?

Please?

- I'm not much of a dancer.
- You're doing famously, then.

Leopold...

this was lovely.

But I'm not sure I can leap,
even if I am inspired.

People think I'm brave,
but I'm not.

The brave are simply those with the
clearest vision of what's before them,

glory and danger alike,
and notwithstanding, go out to meet it.

Hey.

Morning, Charles.

How was your evening
with Patrice?

Good.

Nice.

How as yours?

Good.

Nice.

Leo, don't you think it's time
you tell me who you are?

- What do you mean?
- I mean...

It's a blast doing the Duke
thing with you 24l7, but...

I don't want to see Kate
go through "Stuart: The Sequel".

I know she seems tough, but she hasn't
had it that easy. She's always getting

stuck with people
who don't hold up their end.

Like me.

I understand, Charles.

- You do?
- Yes.

So...

who are you?

I am the man
who loves your sister.

Shut the lid...
push the drawers in...

close the door...

and you push this button.

A word to the wise:
Don't press that

untiI she wakes up.
So she sees you doing it.

Clever. The proverbial
tree in the woods.

If a man washes a dish,
and no one sees it, did it happen?

- A cup of coffee, my dear.
- Thank you.

Breakfast?

Nine grain toast, with strawberries
and Mascapone, Madame.

It's apparently low...

in polyunsaturates.

Really good.

It's good.

What should we do today?

Oh no, no, no!

Thank you, no.

You know what makes me happy?
You don't look good in those.

Sunglasses are completely
inappropriate for you.

Kate!

Kate! Come!

Leopold?

Leopold?

Hey, what's the...

It boggles the mind that it is stiII
here. This is my uncle's home.

Well..."was".
This is where I lived.

Good Lord.

The portrait of my parents.
And me.

Leopold?

I don't think that we should just
be barging around here like this.

Leopold.

My old quarters.

What are you doing?

The place where I put
everything I most cared for.

Things I didn't want
my uncle to touch.

My mother's ring.

It's beautiful.

I live on an island

connected to everything
by bridges.

And I never cross them.

I've lived here for ten years,

and I've never been
to the other side of anything.

You've never traveled?

No.

- Do you?
- What?

Do you miss
where you're from?

In a way...

I miss...

I miss its rhythm.

It was slower?

Quite a bit slower.

- Like today?
- Yes.

- You hear that music, Leopold?
- Yes.

Have you ever seen the movie
"Breakfast at Tiffany's"?

- Ah... No.
- No.

Not yet.

You see that guy down there
with the light on?

He listens to the soundtrack

of "Breakfast at Tiffany's"
every night

untiI exactly midnight.

And then he turns his light off

and goes to sleep.

That means it's Sunday.
I don't want it to be Sunday.

I want more of this.
More 1876.

But you don't work on Sundays.
We can have more.

But Sunday is the day before

the day I work.

So it gets poisoned.

I see.

Besides, tomorrow is the day
they shoot your commercial.

Kate...

Would you?

Might you ever...

consider?

It's time for bed.

- I'm so relaxed...
- It's alright.

You're tucking me in...

Yes.

You're my Otis.

Yes, Your Grace.

Hey... Don't...

Don't go upstairs. Stay...

I love you, Kate McKay.

- Scone, Your Grace?
- Thank you, MiIlard.

- And you brought the Farmer's Bounty?
- But of course.

Fresh creamery butter.
Is there anything more comforting?

I say there is,

and you'll agree when you sample
fat-free Farmer's Bounty,

with the genuine essence
of creamery butter in every bite.

With every mouthful
of Farmer's Bounty,

you shall receive butter's
luxurious comfort

in your mouth, without adding
to the luxury of your waistline.

- Farmer's Bounty.
- On this one,

take a bite... and smile.

And... cut! Check gate.
Good enough for me.

Excuse me.

Is this an actual sample
of Farmer's Bounty?

- Yeah. Why?
- Because this tastes like saddle soap.

That's not really
your concern, is it?

This product tastes like raw suet.
How is that not my concern?

Hey, pal! It's a paycheck!

Wait a minute.

This is an outrage.

Don't worry about the taste.
Come back. We need another shot.

Something that maybe brings
the light up on this a little bit.

Leopold.

Leopold.

What's going on?
What are you doing?

They need you back in there.

Do they?

They have to shoot
the rest ot the spot.

- They're not finished yet.
- I want no part of it...

Why?

- Have you tasted it?
- Farmer's Bounty?

Yes, Farmer's Bounty.

- I've tasted it.
- It's revolting.

I know.

Yet you have no qualms
enlisting me to endorse it?

It's "diet".

It's supposed to be awful.

What is the problem?

The problem is that for no reason
beyond my affection for you,

I find myself peddling pond scum
to an unsuspecting public.

The stakes are very high for me here.
You can't just quit because...

I can. And so can you.
When one finds oneself...

participating in an endeavor entirely
without merit, one withdraws.

No. Sometimes you have to do
things you don't like.

You have to suck it up and finish
what you started. It's part of life.

- You sound like my uncle.
- Look,

Jansen Foods is a very important
account for my company.

If you don't go back in there,
I get into a lot of trouble.

Is this what you do at work?

Research methods
to deceive people?

Refine lies
untiI they resemble truth?

No wonder you dread
your work week.

- I don't have time for this.
- What has happened to the world?

You have every convenience, every
comfort, yet no time for integrity.

What I don't have time for are pious
speeches by 200-year-old men...

who've never had to work
a day in their life!

You have no idea
what I've done with my life.

And you have no idea
what I've done with mine!

I haven't had all that many
comforts and conveniences,

because I've been paying dues
all of my life, and I'm tired.

I need a rest.

If I have to peddle a little pond
scum to get one, so be it!

Very well.

We're kidding ourselves,
Leopold.

I don't even really know
who you are.

You stiII don't believe
I'm the man I say I am?

We had a great weekend.
That's that. Now it's Sunday.

It's over.

There's such a lot of world...

to see...

I know...

I know it sounds crazy...

talking about finding a crack
in time on the East River.

But in fact, Gretchen...

it is no more crazy than...

a dog finding a rainbow.

Dogs are color-blind.

They don't see color.

- Really?
- Just like

we can't see time.
We can feel it.

We can feel it passing,
but we can't see it. It's just a blur.

It's like

we're riding in a supersonic train,

and the world is just blowing by.

But imagine if we could stop
that train, Gretchen.

Imagine if we could stop
that train.

Get out, look around,
and see time for what it really is.

A universe,

a world, a thing as...

unimaginable as color to a dog.

And as real and tangible
as that chair you're sitting in.

If we could see it like that,
really look at it...

then...

maybe we could see the flaws
as well as the form.

And that's it.

It's that simple.

That's all I discovered.
I'm just...

a guy who saw a crack in a chair
that no one else could see.

I'm that dog who saw a rainbow.

Only...

none of the other dogs
believe me.

I believe you.

I can see that some things have...

happened since I went away.

But...

you have to go back.

Understand you'll be going back
to the same day you left,

- ApriI 28th.
- Yes.

You might be repeating a few things.
You might even see me.

Just don't follow me this time.

Can I go in?

J.J., you asked to see me?

Come on in.

I understand you put out a fire
at the shoot yesterday.

Guess Mr. Duke's
got a bit of an ego, huh?

Yeah.

I'm going to England this week,
and I made a decision.

You're gonna be
the top New York honcho.

This is gonna be your office.

I'll be making it official tonight.

Thank you, J.J.

You earned it.

I'm headed over to Jansen to sign

the buy-out papers.
FTC stuff.

So I'll see you later at the thing.

- What did he say?
- I got it.

- That's wonderful!
- Just give me one second. I'm sorry.

Hi. You've reached Stuart.
Please leave a message.

Hello?

Hello? Leopold, if you're there,
please pick up.

I got it.

I got the job.

I'm the new
Senior Vice President

at CRG.

Please call me.

I'm sorry about yesterday.
I apologize.

I'd love to see you tonight,

but I have this thing
at Farmer's Bounty.

But I'd love to see you later.
I miss you.

I miss you.

Hey, Stuart.

How you feeling?

Where's Leo?

He went home.

He was for real.

He was for real.

Holy shit!

Look at this!

Oh my God...

The Perrier Jouet should be chiIled.
Do you understand?

And we're sure
to need another case

- of the Chateau Lafitte.
- Yes.

Leopold!
Where have you been?

I demand explication!
It's half past five!

He's not even dressed!

He'll be ready, my Lord.

I don't want him ready.
I want him resplendant!

The invitations you've got. They say
your table number, your car number.

I've got Morty down there, the guy
you like. He's on the Madison side.

Also your phone sheet is in here.
And Stuart called you a few times.

Have a great time tonight.
You look beautiful.

I don't think this is right.
I'm supposed to go to 2640 Madison.

That's where we are, Miss McKay.

Have a nice evening.

Hello.

Invitations, please.

They're stiII plugs,

just randomly seeded
with MinoxidiI. No cornrows.

- Excuse me.
- Hey, Kate.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

The hell with facelifts.
I'm into mini-lifts.

Just a tiny bit each year.

I hear they're bringing back the 840
next year. So I'm running out the lease.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks, Bob.

- Kate.
- J.J.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you very much.

I'm just glad

they fixed them. I was gonna
move my office to the lobby.

Excuse me.

Don't powder your nose for too long.
I have to make this speech soon.

Okay.

I thought I had pretzled fate,
and it had to be untwisted.

But what I never considered is
that the whole thing is a pretzel.

A beautiful 4-D pretzel
of Kismetic inevitablility.

Get off Park as soon as you can,
and then go up Madison.

I was supposed to go back.

He was supposed to come forward,
then go back again.

So was she.

To take priests to the bell tower.
You speak of progress and invention.

But what I offer you
downstairs is reality.

Take a wife.

- Marry.
- Let us not bother with this banter.

Tell me whom you want me to marry.
Who has the most money?

Well...

That would be Miss Tree
of the Trees of Schenectady.

Good. Consider it done.

Otis, fetch the ring.
I wiII announce at midnight.

Invitations, please.

Hi. I'm Stuart Besser.
I know we're not on your list...

but his sister is Kate McKay.
She works here...

I'm sorry. I can't just let you in.

... and I learned

that there was one thing that I could
do, and it didn't require money,

and it didn't require a fancy school.

I learned that I could please people.

And there is nothing wrong with that!
I am a people pleaser, people!

Kate!

Stuart!

Charlie! What are you doing?

Take a look at these pictures.

No!

Now it's time to introduce the woman
who is going to hold down the fort...

in our New York offices...
our own little rising star...

Miss Kate McKay!

I don't have time for this.
They're toasting me downstairs...

I'm sorry
I was a lousy boyfriend.

I'm sorry I let you down. All you wanted
was someone you could believe in,

and I'm sorry I couldn't...

I can't talk about
our relationship right now.

Please listen!

Maybe we weren't such
a waste of time after all.

La mean... Maybe there's

- a reason I was your guy.
- What are you talking about?

Maybe I was supposed to help you
find your guy... Leopold.

You gotta go back there, Kate.

Go back? How?

You have to jump off the Brooklyn
Bridge within the next 23 minutes.

Kate, just look at the pictures!

Is there

- a Kate McKay in the house?
- Here I am!

Here she is.

Without further ado,

the new Senior Vice President
of our New York offices.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Kate McKay.

- Okay?
- Sorry.

- That's okay.
- Thank you.

- Quite an entrance, huh?
- Thank you, J.J.

Thank you.

Well, it's a great night.

We here at CRG have always
considered ourselves

to be in the "Find what people
want" business. At Jansen,

you guys are in the "Make what people
want" business, so imagine

what we can do together.

We'll be able to find out

exactly what people want...

and make it.
So our customers

wiII be able to get exactly...

what they...

they want.

And...

it's a great thing to...

to get what you want.

Unless what you thought you wanted
wasn't what you really wanted,

because what you really wanted,

you couldn't imagine,
or you didn't think it was possible.

But what if someone came along
who knew exactly

what you wanted? Without asking.
They just knew. Like they could

hear your heart beating
or listen to your thoughts.

And what if they were sure
of themselves

and didn't have to take a poll?

And they loved you.
And you hesitated.

And...

I have to go.

I...

I'm sorry, but I have to go.

Kate?

Stuart, can you

tell me in short,
complete sentences,

with no words over two syllables,
why I'm in these pictures?

- Probably not.
- Try.

- Because you were there.
- I wasn't!

Believe me, I would remember
if I was there.

Because you're going to be there.

- Lf we get there in time.
- But these are pictures of the past,

- not the future.
- Not exactly. Theoretically,

if you go to the past
in the future,

your future lies in the past,
and that's a picture of you

in the future in the past.

We have to make a run for it.
Let's go.

Come on!

Let's go! Come on!

Where the hell
do you think you're going?

$6.80 on the meter!

It's gonna close! Come on!

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I have your attention?
The Duke of Albany

wiII be making
a very important announcement...

in twenty minutes

from this very stage.

And I believe it shall be
an announcement that wiII justify

the playing of a bridal waltz.

Okay,

this is the hard part.
The girder.

- The girder?
- You have to cross the girder.

That girder?

- Stuart, I can't cross that girder.
- You love him?

What?

Leopold.
You love him, right?

Yeah.

That's all you need
to know. Go.

- You'll be fine.
- Kate...

Charlie, how are you gonna?

Don't worry about me!

- Now, Kate!
- Now.

- The portal's gonna close.
- Alright.

- Go.
- Alright.

Jesus!

- Oh, God.
- You can do it.

Don't look down.

Shit!

Charlie!

I'll love you forever.

Love you.

It's okay.

Lady, what are you doing?

Step back from there, lady.
Come back.

This is brief post 4.

Got a jumper on the Southwest
location of the bridge.

Have a supervisor and a car respond
to this location forthwith.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it is with a glad heart

and bright eye...

that I proudly introduce
my beloved nephew, Leopold,

- Duke of Albany.
- Thank you,

Uncle MiIlard.

I'm sorry, madame,
but this is a private affair.

You don't understand.
I need to get inside...

- I need to get inside right now...
- What seems to be the problem?

Are you Otis?

Let us proceed.
Please raise your glasses

so we may toast
to my bride-to-be,

whose welfare and happiness
shall be my solemn duty to maintain.

The future Duchess

of Albany...

Kate McKay.

Of the McKays of?

Massepequa.

Massepequa.

- I love you.
- I love you.