All language subtitles for Luckiest.Girl.Alive.2022.1080p.WEB.H264-NAISU-HI

["Sunny" by Blake Swann playing faintly]

[woman] It's 2015,
and people still act like marriage

is some sort of
crowning achievement for women.

That is a trap I did not fall into.

Some people prefer to really feel like
they're holding a knife in their hands.

[grunts, chuckles]

[woman] I dove in headfirst.

[salesman]
Most professional chefs, they prefer...

[woman] I don't normally quiver
for cutlery,

but I'm getting married in six weeks,
so here we are.

- [fiancé] Does that mean it's sharper?
- [salesman] Scary sharp.

And she ain't cheap,
but she is the superior blade.

Well, baby, we can't start married life
with inferior blades.

So you wanna choose a knife
that feels comfortable in your hand.

What do you think of the Zwilling?

[ominous music sting]

[woman breathing heavily]

[people panting]

[muffled screams]

[people panicking]

[woman] Snap out of it, psycho.

[inhales sharply]

It's heavier.

[salesman] She has the touch.

Oh... Well...

I think being a petite woman,
you'll find the Miyabi easier to manage.

[woman] I've managed
to not eat lunch for six years

just to have this joker call me petite.

Petite is what they call short fat girls.

- [beeps]
- I should know. I used to be one.

- [mimics gunshot]
- [fiancé laughs]

[intriguing music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

Text your mom.

- Let her know we're officially registered.
- Okay.

[woman] Luke Harrison the Fourth
played D1 lacrosse at Colgate,

kite surfs on Nantucket,

and skis in Vail because Aspen
is lousy with the nouveau riche.

[intriguing music continues]

[woman] Mmm.

He calls me "babe"
with the finest of intentions.

- Let's go, babe.
- Yeah.

Heretofore, it is his birthright to marry
a blond insect of Norwegian descent

with a gender-ambiguous name,
like Landry or Devon,

who can spot my grift a mile away.

Hey, can we get pizza?

Who are you, and what have you done
with my fiancée?

[woman] I'm not to the manor born,

but I have something
no trust fund can buy...

the edge.

It doesn't take much in Luke's world.

Love your work, hate babies,
even the cute ones,

have a few lurid secrets,

and be eternally grateful that Luke
knows all of them and still loves me.

[Luke] Um, my mom is asking
if the invites went out.

Mm. Yeah, once I approve the font.

- Once you approve the font?
- Yes.

Oh. Once Ani approves the font.

- Thank you.
- [phone chimes]

[phone chimes]

Oh, she's saying
they should go out six weeks before.

- Jesus, are we at six weeks already?
- Yeah.

[Luke] Whoa, we are at six weeks.

[ominous music sting]

[breathing heavily]

[server] All done here?

- Yeah, maybe just a box, please.
- Sure.

[indistinct chatter]

- Loo.
- [Ani] Okay.

[unsettling music playing]

[Ani] Someone once called me an animal.

One wrong move and Luke will see it too.

Hmm.

[Ani clears throat]

You can just take that. Thank you.

[tense music playing]

[clatters]

Jesus. What happened?

Waitress spilled soda
all over the pizza and my dress.

[Luke] Oh no.

It's gonna be okay, babe. Okay?

Come on, I'll help you.

Baby, I love you.

Oh! Oh my God.

- I'm so full.
- You hardly ate anything.

[Ani] Okay, so maybe I keep
some secrets from him,

but no one has ever made me feel so safe.

[Luke] I'm proud of you
for eating carbs, babe.

I wanna see every one of you
dripping in sweat.

Nothing is so bad that you can't do it
for ten more seconds.

["Keep It Movin'"
(feat. Rell Rock) playing]

[breathing heavily]

[door creaks]

[glass shards crunching]

["Keep It Movin'" (feat. Rell Rock) by
Stanton Warriors & Tony Quattro continues]

[grunting]

- [traffic noise]
- Ugh! Nineteen minutes?

Some people have jobs to get to.

I mean, not me, but some people.

But I can't be late today.

Oh my God. Are you meeting
the documentary director today?

[Ani] Yes.

Okay, well,
you're not gonna be late on my watch.

[Ani] Nell Rutherford has been fostering
me since freshman year of college.

I know you never take the subway.

Oh God, no, no, no.
I-I really... I really hate this.

Okay. By your side.

[Ani] Nell is a natural blond
with a trust fund.

I'm a try-hard former financial-aid kid.

We both hate where we came from.

Your mom's coming this weekend, right?

Oh, yes.

She's been to TJ Maxx three times

to try to find an outfit for my fitting
at Saks Fifth Avenue on the 5th Avenue.

Wow, what is the opposite of a legend?

Okay, I think this one is the most you.

[Ani] What? Only You Pro?

[woman] Oh.

Would you pick it?

I mean, I'm not getting married
until we have a woman for president,

so I guess we'll know soon enough.

Uh...

[unsettling music playing]

[train honking]

[unsettling music continues]

I, uh... I'm still scared
I'm making a mistake.

Getting married?

No. No, like is Only You Pro
the font of a trash slut

who doesn't know how to pass
the salt and pepper shakers together.

Oh my God, there is no such thing
as a slutty font. It doesn't exist.

God, I can't breathe.

Oh my God.

- [gunshot]
- [glass shattering]

- [uneasy music playing]
- [train stops]

It's okay.

[Ani] Oh my God. Oh my God.

This is normal. Okay?
This happens all the time.

[conductor] We are experiencing a delay...

- It's no big deal.
- ...due to train traffic ahead of us.

Thank you for your patience.

- You okay?
- [power turns on]

There we go. See?

[conductor]
Next stop 34th Street-Herald Square.

- And we're moving. Okay.
- Oh my God.

[upbeat music playing]

[elevator dings]

[Ani] Ugh! Eleanor Whitman.
Brought in from The Atlantic

to elevate the overly-sex
fashion glossy where I work.

How was your weekend?

[scoffs] I feel like I ran a half-marathon
through Williams-Sonoma.

- Williams-Sonoma?
- Yeah.

You should register for a few pieces
at Scully & Scully if you can.

I'm sure Luke's family
would go in on them.

[Ani] The fuck is Scully & Scully?

[scoffs] Obsessed with Scully & Scully.

My bedroom sconces are from there.

- [elevator dings]
- Mmm.

[elevator opens]

[Ani] Eleanor gets to write about topics
with gravitas,

like the wage gap
and women in Afghanistan.

I'm on another equally important beat.

Your voice, Miss FaNelli...

is simply peerless.

[Ani's boss] My jaw hurts
after reading that. [laughs]

[Ani] This is what sells our magazine.

Apparently men's pleasure
is of global importance.

[indistinct chatter]

[phone ringing]

So a recent study
in the American Journal of Public Health

found that last year,
30% of sexual assault survivors

had to pay $940 for their own rape kits.

That's a girl's whole paycheck.

Right. So I was thinking

"The Real Cost of Sexual Assault"
as the cover line.

Oh! Lavender. Retch.

Hmm. [sighs]

How about, "When Your Rape
Costs More than Your Rent"?

Now that gets us on The Today Show.

Mm... [grunts]

Miss FaNelli, give me something skanky
to keep the lights on.

[chuckles] Okay.

Let's see, skanky...

[inhales sharply]

Okay, a new study
in the Journal of Kinesiology

found that nasal breathing
is optimal for sports performance

and is used by some
of the top athletes around the world.

So, "Five Weeks to an Olympian Blow Job:

Breathe Like a Top Athlete

to Last Longer and Go Deeper than His Ex."

[soft chuckle]

When I count my blessings,
I count you twice.

- Draft by the end of the week?
- Yeah.

- Thank you, everyone.
- [indistinct chatter]

Come with me.

[indistinct chatter]

It's gonna be your name on the masthead
of The New York Times Magazine.

Lower than mine, but it beats
a Cuisinart for a wedding gift.

[Ani] I am this close
to becoming Ani Harrison,

senior editor
at The New York Times Magazine,

to becoming someone people can respect.

[indistinct chatter]

[intriguing music playing]

Abstaining from lunch allows me to squat
in Eleanor's office when I need it.

One day, I'll have a corner office
with my own insufferable display

of prestigious
and frankly phallic-looking awards.

Until then, I pretend I'm important.

[exhales sharply]

The rock was Luke's grandmother's.

Oh. Pardon me, his Nana's.

He told me
I could reset it in a diamond band,

what all the girls are doing now.

Exactly why I will never.

I intend to send a very clear message.

This is an heirloom.

We don't just have money.
We come from money.

- Take your best shot.
- [door opens]

Hey, Ani. Good to see you again.

Sorry to make you
come all the way to Midtown.

Katie, thank you so much.

Can you please remind Benjamin
that I need the art

for the wage-gap story?

Um, the what story?

[Ani] The smart story I just made up
to sound more impressive.

Ask Penelope.

- Sit, please.
- I appreciate you making the time.

- [Ani] Mm-hmm.
- Uh...

I know you said that the documentary
was not the right choice at the moment,

but there's been a pretty sizable
development since the last time we spoke.

Your former classmate, Dean Barton,
has signed on to be interviewed.

[Ani] Keep it the fuck together, FaNelli.

I guess it shouldn't be a surprise
he has a new book to promote.

I'm sure you saw his speech
before Congress this summer.

[Ani] Only 200 times.

No.

Oh, it was a plea to tighten
firearm background checks in Pennsylvania.

[Ani] Your ring. Show him your ring.

I'm afraid I've been preoccupied
this summer with planning the wedding

and the magazine's initiative
with Hillary's campaign.

I can't imagine what it's like
to have people grilling you about it

so many years later.

You're a survivor of the deadliest
private-school shooting in history.

And the reason it continues
to captivate public interest

is because there are still
so many questions you never answered.

People wanna know were you a hero
or an accomplice?

I had absolutely nothing to do with it.

- Then why does Dean say you did?
- I don't know.

Don't you wanna tell your side
of the story?

- [door opens]
- Miss FaNelli. Right at home, I see.

I need three to five cover line tries
for the simultaneous orgasm story

by the time I get back from lunch.

LoLo Vincent,
editor-in-chief of The Women's Bible.

Aaron Wickersham, independent filmmaker.

Oh, that's right. I saw your short at the
Toronto Film Festival a few years back.

Are you our hot guy of the month
for December?

Actually, I'm working on a documentary
about gun violence in schools.

I'm hoping to talk to...

[Ani] Don't say it.

...TifAni.

Oh.

I always forget that's your name.

Ani's pithier.

My team has spent the last year

researching the incident
at your high school.

My intention is not to upset you
by saying this,

but we've uncovered
a very different side to the story.

I promise you,
I'm only after the truth here.

I give you my word that our work together
will not cause you further harm.

[Ani] As long as you get
your sensational story.

[scoffs]

I'm sorry, but there's just no way that
you can promise me something like that.

What if I said I believe you, Ani?

Thank you.

[pensive music playing]

[sighs]

[phone ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

[phone ringing]

[keyboard clacking]

[mouse clicks]

[somber music playing]

[mouse clicks]

[somber music continues]

[mouse clicks]

[Ani's mom]
Oh, it looks like a castle, TifAni.

I always think they're gonna drive
nicer cars in the Main Line.

It's such a hoity-toity area.

[exhales] Mom.

Hmm.

One hundred percent of the students
who received this writing scholarship...

- Ended up at a tier-one university.
- ...ended up...

I know you think I'm a broken record,
but college is where you meet the people

who are gonna be in your life
for a very long time, TifAni,

and the caliber of men
is just not there at a state school.

Okay, Mom.

This is it. This is the beginning.

Bye.

["I Think I'm Paranoid"
by Garbage playing]

[students chattering]

You're already
the prettiest girl in school.

[young Ani] Mom! Shh!

♪ I don't think I like you much ♪

♪ Heaven knows what a girl can do ♪

♪ Heaven knows what you've got to prove ♪

♪ I think I'm paranoid ♪

[Ani] I spent the first few weeks
at the esteemed Brentley School

navigating the various cliques.

There were the popular kids...

- Hi.
- Hi.

...the smart kids,

and everybody else.

Plus the very cool teacher
who noticed my talent right away.

"Holden is what we call
an unreliable narrator,

someone whose version
of the truth can't be trusted."

That's a line from the exceptional essay
by TifAni FaNelli.

Welcome to Brentley. Congratulations.

♪ She's a genius in a bottle, baby ♪

- [girl] Stop.
- [kids laugh]

[upbeat music playing]

Oh, thanks.

[Ani] The one thing
they all had that I didn't?

Pedigree.

Yo, Hilary.

- Yo, Dean.
- Get me some Swedish Fish.

Oh.

Don't worry, I got you.

Uh... Don't use a tray.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

Okay.

Come on, come sit with us.

[young Dean] Liam! Over here.

Peyton, take that.

- [girl] Hey, girl.
- Hey.

- What's up, TifAni?
- Shit, homeboy's already called dibs.

I showed her where the language room was
this morning, shitbrain.

[young Dean sighs]

- What do I owe you, Finny?
- Finny?

Tif-Finny. [laughs]

Don't worry about it.

Only Dean would let a financial-aid kid
buy him lunch.

Oh.

It's a writing scholarship.

That only low-income students
can apply for.

[Hilary] Liv...

Hmm. And yet, you're John D. Rockefeller's
great-great-great-granddaughter,

and you still lost
the Salinger Essay Award to, uh...

Okay.

Uh, Olivia had to change her last name
from Rockefeller to Kaplan

due to a kidnapping threat.

- It's been a harrowing time for her.
- Jesus. Finny, watch out for this freak.

[boy] Choke on your Swedish Fish, Dean.
You're such a dick.

[Rachel] ...gun control. And they equate it
with an effort to take away their guns.

- [door opens]
- And I used to be one of them, Rachel,

until I realized that the bill
we are proposing

wouldn't have threatened
my constitutional rights.

But it would have ensured
that the gun that severed my spinal cord

was registered,
locked away in a safe place,

out of the hands of the dangerous,
mentally-unstable individuals that...

Why are we watching this?

[Rachel] We... We so appreciate you...

That director reached out again.

Oh. [chuckles]

What does he want?

Dean's doing the documentary now.

Nice.

It's a last-ditch effort
to get you to do it.

You're the story. You're the one
who's never gone on record.

He needs you.

Hey.

You should do it
if you feel you need to do it.

But remember, you don't have to
defend yourself to me

or to anyone who really knows you.

Who cares what anyone else thinks?

[Ani sighs] So easy to say
when everyone loves you, Luke.

- Can I give you some good news?
- Yeah.

They wanna make the London offer
attractive to both of us.

[Ani] Luke's firm wants to pay him
fuck-your-feelings-money

to move to London,

where I'll be barefoot
and pregnant in a year.

John said this is ranked number six
globally when it comes to MFA programs.

Come on, Luke.

You know MFA programs
are just for white girls

who can't get paid to write.

I thought you'd be elated.

It's just, um... LoLo mentioned today
that she's in the final stages

of reviewing her contract
with The New York Times Magazine.

[sighs] I'm sorry, Ani,
but how many times have you heard this?

Until there's an offer on the table,
none of it is real.

London is real.

This is a real opportunity for you.

Okay, I'll think about it.

- Think about it. Going for a run.
- Okay.

[Luke] Think of it as a fresh start, babe.

[crowd cheering]

- [party music blasting]
- [students screaming, laughing]

[girl] This is so fun.

[girls squealing, whooping]

[hip-hop music playing]

- Go. You got it.
- All right. All right.

Watch this.

Oh my God. [laughs]

[girl 1] Liam is, like, doing
a mating dance or something.

[girl 2] He is so yummy right now.

- [laughter]
- [student whooping]

[girl 3] Move your legs!

Hey, yo, Peyton, watch this. [laughs]

- Oh! Oh! Hey! Oh.
- Okay.

- [laughs] Ah!
- What...

- What the fuck?
- Relax.

You're fucking weird.
Get the fuck away from me.

- Relax, man.
- This fucking guy.

- Come on.
- I'm gonna kill him.

Ah!

Hey.

- [boys laughing]
- He's so cute!

[upbeat music playing]

Arthur, I think I might be pregnant.

Oh, yeah. You guys' kids
are gonna need a fucking tutor.

Why... Why do I feel like
you just did something ill-advised?

Dude, you promised no horseshit tonight.

Well, promises are meant
to be broken, mon chéri.

[laughter]

Oh!

["Put It In Your Mouth"
by Akinyele playing]

[all cheering]

He's got a flask. Let's go.

- Oh, Arthur. Arthur. Arthur.
- Arthur.

Arthur, stop.

You need to come with me, now.

Come with me.

Hilary!

[hip-hop music continues]

- [giggles]
- [Hilary] Come on.

Don't stop. Don't stop. [giggles]

Girls. If you leave school property,
I have to call your parents.

My mom knows I'm going to Dean's house.

I mean, she's best friends
with Mrs. Barton.

- Yeah.
- Tiff's sleeping over after.

- Call Hilary's mom if you want.
- Yeah.

Yeah, call my mom.

[phone ringing]

- Okay.
- [all giggling]

[phone beeps]

Yes, I'm here.

Go, go, go. Come on.

- [giggling]
- [young Dean] Hey!

[Hilary] Hi!

[girls laughing]

- Hi, Mr. Larson!
- [young Ani] No, don't!

- Don't do that!
- Thank you!

He's gonna call my mom.

- [music blasts on radio]
- I love this song!

[laughing, cheering]

[girls squealing]

[Ani's mom]
Halter is a good style for her.

She can wear anything.

Even with the breast reduction,
she's still broad in the shoulders.

[inhales sharply]

[exhales deeply]

[Nell] Wow.

Marry me.

[chuckling]

[Ani's mom] Mmm.

[Ani's mom sighs deeply]

What about a belt?

You just need some embellishments
or something 'cause it's so plain.

If you just would've waited
five more seconds,

you wouldn't have had to insult my dress.

I did not insult her dress.
Did you hear me insult her dress?

You just want her popping.

Nell gets it.

I was watching
Say Yes to the Dress the other day,

and the girl on there

had, um, this tulle princess skirt
you could tie on or tie off.

Kate Middleton didn't wear a tulle
princess skirt to her wedding.

Neither should the expecting
child brides of Ohio.

[Ani's mom laughs]

Thank you.

Yes, she was about six months along.

- [Ani groans]
- Mmm.

Still, I think I would do that over this,
um... The bolerino thing.

Bolero.

[whispers] Bolero.

Have another.

[Nell] Ani.

[clicks tongue]

Excuse me for trying to celebrate
the most important day of your life.

I'm gonna go check out the sales upstairs.

I'm afraid you can't bring glass
outside the bridal boutique, ma'am.

Okay, don't kill me,
but I sort of agree with her.

I mean, you're sexier than this, right?

I'm getting married
in the whale print capital of the world.

I don't wanna embarrass Luke
in some sequined mermaid dress.

[Nell] Embarrass Luke?
Ugh! Fucking yikes, Ani.

Nell, I'm... I'm five weeks out.

Why would you tell me
that my dress is wrong now?

No, it's not wrong. Okay?
Nothing about you is wrong.

Jesus. Unclench, okay?

Yeah, well, that's impossible,

what with the real housewife
of Pennsyltucky in town.

[Nell laughs]

Be nice to your mother.

[Ani's mom] That cut looks nice on you.

More forgiving across the middle
than some of your other stuff.

[phone ringing]

[Nell] Whoa!

It's the director. It's Aaron.

- [phone rings]
- Let it go to voicemail.

I thought you told him no.
Why is he calling you?

[Ani sighs] I did,

but I just wanted to know
if I change my mind,

when I would need to be available.

[exhales sharply] Holy shit.

- Ani.
- Like, good "shit"?

Babe, you wanna expose Dean Barton
for the sanctimonious prick that he is.

This is no-dairy-for-a-month shit.

Single-wipe shit.

No. Uh, I don't know. I, um...
I'm not ready.

- Come on, what will it take?
- Oh.

Let's see. Uh, Dean's making
viral speeches at Congress,

and I have a story due Monday about how to
pleasure an uncircumcised penis.

They're more sensitive
than the ones without their turtlenecks,

according to the experts.

Nobody believed me back then,

because I was
a Wet Seal wearing gutter rat.

If I'm gonna do this,
I need to be bulletproof.

I need to be able to say
that I work at The New York Times,

that I live in an elevator
doorman building in Tribeca,

and that my name is Ani Harrison

because I married
the lacrosse captain of Nantucket.

And how dare anyone believe
I did what Dean said I did

while wiping away a single tear
with this hand in particular.

[breathing deeply]

Four out of five.

Not that you need any of it
to make you credible.

[scoffs]

You don't,

but I do.

I do.

[sighs]

My God, they have attitude in here.

It's like, you work retail.

- I'm gonna make a quick call.
- Okay.

- You're fine.
- Oh, thank you.

Sucker's a hall pass.

[message tone]

[Aaron] Hi, Ani. I'm so glad you called.

I didn't feel good about
the way we ended things in your office.

The new headmaster's allowing us to film
on campus the second week of September.

We're just finalizing the schedule.
We'd love to know if you're in.

- Oh, cute, Spencer.
- Call me back when you get a chance.

Oh, excuse me.
You look exactly like my daughter.

Uh, people are always mistaking me
for someone else.

While I have you...

- That one.
- [woman] Hmm.

Nice eye.

Hi, Aaron?

I always stay at the Ritz Carlton
when I come home.

Great.

[mellow music playing]

[unsettling music playing]

[echoing laughter]

Baby, here we go!

- Oh!
- [cheers and shouts]

[whistles, laughter]

[shouts]

[girl] Shots!

Come on!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Oh, yeah!

[girl 1] I'll take that one too.

- All right, let's go.
- [girl 2] Hilary.

Hilary, your mom's here.

- My mom's here. Fuck, my mom's here!
- What?

We have to go.

What? I've got to go.

- Tif, are you coming?
- [Liam] You can't have her.

I'm sorry, you can't have her!

[laughs]

Tif!

[mouthing]

He won't let me go.

Finny, drink! Let's go.

Come on! My house, my rules.

[LoLo's assistant] Ani?

[phone ringing]

[mouse clicks]

[sighs]

[LoLo] Fucking corporate.

Okay, the latest edict is
we can't say clit, but clitoris is fine.

Okay.

Oh, but you don't need to know that,
because you no longer work here.

We're going to The New York Times.

Oh, fuck yes! Yeah!

Whoo!

[upbeat music playing]

Thank you.

[Luke] Hi.
Reservation for four for Harrison.

Should be eight o'clock.

[upbeat music playing]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hi.

- You're in a good mood.
- Okay, so I have some good news.

- One member of your party is at the bar.
- Oh.

Okay, I'll, um... I'll tell you after.

Here you go. Thank you so much.

That's her. That's... That's the wife.

[Ani] Okay. [laughs]

[Luke] Whitney.

- Luke. Hi.
- [Luke] Good to see ya.

Mm. Andrew's running a few minutes late.

- This is Ani, my fiancée.
- Hi, Whitney.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

[both laugh]

Excuse me, but I have been stuck at home
with a 16-month-old.

A 16-month-old?

You look amazing.

[Ani] Luke calls me the wife-whisperer.

Do you have any photos?

[Ani] Like it's so hard.

Literally, all you do is act like
they invented motherhood.

[Whitney] Scroll to the right.

[Ani] There's a special place in hell
for women who can't show you

just one picture of their children.

Oh my God, come on.
Look at this little munchkin.

- Baby, look at it.
- Cute. Can I have a beer, please?

[indistinct bar chatter]

Is this your husband?

As far as I know.

Sorry. My God, 5th was a parking lot.

- [Luke] There he is.
- Luke.

- Good to see ya.
- [Luke] Great to see ya.

- Honey.
- Hey.

This is Ani.

Nice to meet you. Andrew.

Mr. Larson, it's me.

TifAni.

TifAni?

[breathing heavily]

[Whitney] Uh, "Mr. Larson?"
Was he your teacher?

[Mr. Larson] TifAni.

Uh... I didn't recognize you. You look...

[Ani] Like none of it ever happened.

We can seat you now.

So... I'm sorry, wait a second.
Did you change your name or...

No, this is, um, TifAni,
from when I left Brentley.

Oh.

Oh God.

- God, I'm so sorry for...
- Oh God.

- You know, everything.
- It's okay.

- What happened to you, I just...
- Oh, I understand.

[Ani] Make it stop, Luke.

I'm so sorry. I...

Well, if it's any consolation,

thanks to you, my do-gooder husband
got into credit derivatives.

[chuckles]

You know, TifAni
was the strongest writer in my class.

Well, now she's senior editor
at The Women's Bible.

- The Women's Bible?
- Yeah.

- That's fantastic.
- Thank you.

I used to have to hide that
from my mother growing up.

[chuckles] "The past is never dead.
It's not even past."

To what Confucius said.

[Ani] Huh, Faulkner.

- [Luke] Cheers.
- [Whitney] Cheers.

[glasses clinking]

[Mr. Larson] Cheers.

Mmm. So, Ani, you have to tell us,

what do you think of the director
in the skinny jeans?

- You're doing the documentary?
- [Mr. Larson] They got to you too, huh?

[Ani grunts]

Please tell me you are.

Yeah.

It's long overdue.

Thankfully, the timing worked out.

We might be moving to London
after the wedding.

- [Mr. Larson] London?
- Yeah.

Luke has been asked to run
BlackRock's European desk.

- Luke, congratulations.
- Thank you.

- [Whitney] Exciting.
- We're still figuring out the details.

Will you be able to write
for the magazine from over there?

Actually, I... just got accepted

into the Goldsmith's MFA program

- at the University of London.
- [Whitney] Ah!

To teach, I hope.

- Oh!
- [Whitney] Oh!

- [groans]
- [Whitney] Ugh! Enough, Mr. Larson.

[Ani] Sometimes I feel
like a wind-up doll.

Turn my key, and I'll tell you
exactly what you wanna hear.

[sniffles]

[doorknob clicks]

[low-key music playing]

[Ani] For someone who so easily could,

Mr. Larson has never once
made me feel ashamed.

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

Hey.

Our spouses went to 7th to get a cab.

- Can I tell you something?
- Sure.

I got a job offer
from The New York Times Magazine today.

Brava.

[laughs]

I mean, I had nothing to do with it,
but I couldn't be more proud.

Thanks. [chuckles]

[Mr. Larson]
What about London and the MFA?

I'll figure it out.

Tif, I know how these things usually go.

Don't acquiesce.

- I'm glad you're doing the doc.
- It's a balancing act with him.

He doesn't trust
the director in skinny jeans.

So you acquiesce?

Am I allowed to call you a bastard now?

You should be allowed
to do anything you want.

[siren wails in distance]

Okay.

It was good to see you.

[car honking]

[car honking]

Hey, man, is the AC on?

[driver] Should be getting colder now.

[sighs]

Did you mean
what you said back there about London?

[scoffs]

[Luke sighs]

You know, sometimes I feel like
another box you have to check off

so you look like you've done okay.

I'm not some prick
who doesn't respect your career

just because you don't make
as much money as I do.

- [scoffs]
- [Luke] You know that, right?

I think you are so talented
and so creative,

and I love that about you.

It's one of the reasons
I want us to go to London.

I think you are limited where you are,
and frankly, you're better than it.

All I have to show
for the past nine years of my career

is 15,000 ways to touch a cock.

I never would've gotten the offer
from The New York Times

if LoLo hadn't grandfathered me in.

You got the offer?

Yeah.

What is it? Where is it?

Is this right?

- Yeah.
- It's not even a 10% raise.

[scoffs] It's The New York Times.
I wouldn't be going there for the money.

Well, this makes me think
they don't value you at all.

It's not personal. There's no money
left in publishing anymore.

[Luke chuckles] Well, exactly.

Listen, you go to London and get your MFA.
You can write a book.

Something that's yours,
that you have equity in.

Wouldn't you rather be known
for something you've created

than this thing
that happened to you so long ago?

No.

No, I... I wanna be remembered
for what really happened to me.

I want vindication.
It's all I think about.

I know you've thought long and hard
about doing this documentary,

and I'm not saying you shouldn't do it,

but Dean has taken this very bad thing
that happened to him

and done something good with it.
People respect that and they respect him.

You know what I'm saying.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's the blow-job editor
versus the gun-safety savior.

[Luke sighs]

No, God, of course. Ugh!

Oh God, if there was just a way for me
to write about more important issues

for a place of worldwide
influence and acclaim,

then maybe, just maybe,

people can hold me
in the same esteem as Dean.

Gosh, if there was just a way
for me to work at this elusive place.

You're so angry. I can't talk to you
when you're this angry.

Ugh! It's so hot in here.

[exhales sharply]
I'm gonna walk the last few blocks.

[Ani] Sir, can you please
just keep driving?

- [faint upbeat music playing]
- [water dripping]

[water dripping]

[young Ani breathes heavily]

[young Ani breathes shakily]

[faint upbeat music continues]

- [breathing heavily]
- [door opens]

Shit, Peyton.

Yo, holy fuck, you're still at it?
What the... [laughs]

[Peyton] Fuck off, Liam.

[young Ani shudders, pants]

[squeals and laughter in distance]

We'll hang out, okay?

[sighs]

[young Ani breathing heavily]

[young Dean] What the fuck?

Oh my God, I can't watch. [snickers]

[Peyton] Come on, someone do something.

[young Dean] No, that's you, buddy.

- [indistinct chatter]
- [young Ani breathing heavily]

- [boys laughing]
- [panting]

[young Dean] Aw. Holy fuck.

Shit.

[Peyton] Take care of your girl, Liam.

Hey.

- Aw.
- [young Ani panting]

Hey. Come on, I got you.

[breathing heavily]

[young Ani grunting, panting]

- [young Ani] Ow! Ow...
- [Liam grunting]

[breathing heavily]

[young Ani groaning] Ow!

- [kisses]
- [young Ani panting]

[young Ani breathing heavily]

Ow! [sobbing, panting]

[party music playing in distance]

[faucet squeaks]

[turns off faucet]

[dripping]

[indistinct chatter, laughter in distance]

[running footsteps]

[panting]

[clattering]

[breathing heavily]

[breathing shakily]

Hi. Um, Dean...

- I just really need some water.
- You...

You should really get some sleep.

Yeah, I'm just really thirsty.

Uh... Dean! [screams]

Wait, stop!

Wait! Wait! Wait!
Stop! Stop! Stop! [sobbing]

Stop! Stop! Stop! Wait. Wait.

Dean, wait. Stop! Stop!
Stop! Please. [sobs]

Stop! Stop! Wait! Wait, no!

[sobbing] Please! Please!

Please, stop! Stop!

[grunting]

[exhales heavily]

[breathing heavily]

[young Ani grunting]

- [young Dean] Oh, fuck!
- [young Ani whimpers]

[groaning]

- Motherfucker.
- [young Ani panting]

Finny!

Shit.

[grunts] Finny.

Fuck! Fucking crazy ass bitch! Get out!

- Hot in here! Fucking piece of shit! Agh!
- [metal clanking]

[driver] What the fuck?
Fucking ass bitch! Get out!

- Get her out!
- Honey, get out!

Don't fucking touch me!

Fuck you!

Don't fucking touch me!

[tires screeching]

[Luke] You're so fucking nuts.

[siren wailing in distance]

[somber music playing]

- [exhales sharply]
- [siren wailing in distance]

[somber music continues]

[panting]

[door lock chiming]

Excuse me.

Do you know how to get
to the Brentley School from here?

[Mr. Larson] TifAni?

[breathing shakily]

[breathing heavily]

Hey. Hey.

- Hey. What happened?
- [breathing shakily]

Hey, what happened?

TifAni, what happened?

[young Ani shuddering]

[crickets chirping]

[electricity buzzing]

[water running]

[breathing shakily]

[knocking on door]

You can come in.

They're a little big but they're clean.

[Mr. Larson] Look, can I please,

please take you to the hospital now?

- I gotta call your mother.
- No.

[phone beeps]

Look, you... you can't be here.

It... it's not...

Look, I can get into a lot of trouble.

[indistinct chatter]

- [metal banging]
- [gasps]

- [metal ringing]
- [machine whirring]

Thanks.

Dean is hoping to meet with you.

No fucking way.

- [Aaron] Just hear me out.
- No.

He's willing to take back his claim
that you're involved in the shooting.

He's going to vindicate you, Ani.

He wants to sit down with you
on camera and apologize.

[Ani] Ugh. I hate your soft voice so much.

[sighs]

Sorry. Um...

What...

Why?

Maybe you have some sense?

[Ani] For fuck's sake, will you just
put this guy out of his misery?

My money's on the gang rape.

There. I said it. No going back now.

[Aaron] I've gathered enough
to know that that event

was framed as something
that you participated in. I'm...

I'm so sorry, Ani. It makes me sick.

Yeah, no participation trophy for me.

[Aaron] TifAni... Uh, I mean, Ani,

if you wanna do this,

it'd be easy enough to tack on
an extra day to the schedule.

I'll make sure to keep you both separate
until you give me permission.

You'll call the shots.

[Ani] What's the point of being at your
fighting weight if you're not gonna fight?

Okay.

And your safety and comfort
is our highest priority.

We do not wanna see you re-traumatized.

We could look into getting you
a victims' advocate.

Sorry. I should probably ask
if you prefer "survivor" to "victim."

- I know that's a big thing these days.
- Oh.

Survivor? Gross.

So victim then?

Yeah.

Victim.

[sentimental music playing]

[Ani's mom] Mmm.

Definitely this one.

It's less oaky. I hate oak.

Hmm. Gosh, Mom.
I never once wondered if I was adopted.

[all laughing]

[chuckling]

Did you know it's broo-sket- ta,
not broo-shet-ta?

TifAni taught me that.
She and Nell lived in Rome for a time.

- [Ani's mom chuckles]
- [Ani] Keep it cute, FaNelli.

That must have been
a wonderful experience for you girls.

Oh, I just love Italy.

And from London,
it's just such a short flight.

Oh!

You didn't tell me.
You made a decision about London?

Mom, no, we didn't make
a decision yet, remember?

- Oh, I apologize. I misunderstood.
- [phone chimes]

Uh, um...

I'll be... I'll be just a minute.

[Ani's mom] Okay.

- This is nice. Cheers.
- [glasses clink]

[reporter on TV]
And now here to comment is Dean Barton.

[Dean] Every day that Congress
fails to work together

to create universal background checks

is another day
that a student risks their life

just trying to get an education.

[Ani's mom] TifAni?

[Dean] It's outright negligence.

What are you doing?

- We owe these kids so much more.
- I came to check on you.

Why?

[Ani's mom sighs]

[inhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

My little bambina.

Really starting to freak out
about seeing Dean.

Right.

What if when I see him in a wheelchair,
I can't be angry anymore?

I don't wanna feel bad for him.

It's so much cleaner
if I could just hate him.

Oh.

[both sigh deeply]

I say we go out there
and get Drunken Ship-faced.

Hmm? [chuckles]

Come on. You're about
to read Dean Barton for fucking filth.

Where's the registry for that?

[woman] Where's the blushing bride?

[Ani groans]

Jesus Christ,
how am I gonna get through this?

[woman] Here comes the bride. Finally.

Hey, lady. Oh...

[Ani] Hallsy's Luke's
poorly preserved aunt

who ceased to be a lady
20 tennis-pro dicks ago.

Why is everyone so anti-oak these days?

Ooh! I have a buttery chard just for you.

About the only thing
California's good for.

And do me one more solid,
don't sit me with the Gilmartins.

- What'd you do this time?
- I didn't do anything.

They're being snowflakes
over the new park.

No offense, you two.

[Mrs. Harrison]
Well, it will be very loud for them.

They've agreed to put in
soundproof buffers.

What kind of a park
needs a soundproof buffer?

A shooting park, Dinah.

Can't blame gun owners for wanting
to enjoy their hobby responsibly.

As a woman, I feel more empowered
when I'm shooting a gun

than I do bitching
about every little thing.

[bangs table] Okay, I'm gonna go inside.
Would anybody like some water?

I'll take one. No ice.

[Ani] Don't worry,
I won't sit you with the Gilmartins.

You'll be at table 12

with the rest of the flabby cougars
where you belong.

- [Dinah] TifAni.
- [Nell] Oh, boy.

[Luke] Oh my God.

Oh fuck.

She's...

She's really tired.

It's been a long week, so...

[somber music playing]

[Dinah] Ani!

Stop!

[seagulls squawking]

Ani.

Ow! Goddamn it!

[Dinah groans]

Ani!

Stop!

Damn it.

Do you like your life, TifAni?

Yes, Mom, I have built
a very nice life for myself.

How much do you make in a year?

What?

How much do you make in a year, honey?

Uh... 80K.

Sometimes a little bit more
if I guest-edit a brand extension, okay?

Okay, so let's be generous.
Let's call it 90K.

How much did you pay for that watch?

You don't think I noticed
you got the Cartier?

Don't you know it's gauche to ask
how much something costs, Mom?

Oh, I know. I know you'd think
I didn't do anything with my life.

But you know, when you're spending
$1,500 a month to exercise,

and your mortgage is $12,000...

This 90k that I was able to squirrel away
from alimony payments

so I could stay home with you
and not have to pay for childcare?

I put that money towards your education,

and that put you in rooms
where you met a guy like Luke.

And I am... I am doing my best here

to try to connect with the Harrisons.
It's not easy.

And now with this documentary?

- What's that have to do with this?
- Everything.

Everything, TifAni. Everything.

You think you're embarrassed of me now,
don't try to say that you're not,

imagine what it's gonna be like
when they find out about what happened.

They had boys.

They didn't have a girl
who developed early

and was hell-bent on taking risks.

They can't imagine what that was like.

I did everything in my power
to protect you.

I did. I did.

That's why I had
all those rules in place that I did.

But you didn't wanna follow those.

That was your choice.

So fine, you know?

Just... just... just...

At least just leave my name out of it.

I did what any half-decent mother
would have done.

I did.

You'll find out someday.

You'll find out how hard it is.

Okay.

Although if you keep pushing Luke away,
maybe you won't.

At the very least, you won't have
someone else's pile of money to stand on

while you call me gauche.

Excuse me.

TifAni.

Wait.

[Luke sighs]

[Ani] I'm sorry.

[exhales sharply]

[inhales sharply]

My mom asked me what a cougar is.

[both chuckling]

[both laughing]

[sighs]

[Ani moaning]

[both grunting]

[both breathing heavily]

- [Ani grunting]
- [Luke] Ah!

- [Ani moans]
- Okay.

- [Ani grunts]
- Ow!

[both breathing heavily]

- Babe?
- Yeah?

[sighs]

[exhales] Can we just do it the nice way?

Yeah.

[breathing heavily]

[Ani moans]

Okay.

Okay.

I can't do this. Please get off me.

Please just get off of me.
I'm sorry. I can't...

[sighs]

Oh my God.

[groans]

[breathing deeply]

I may not say everything right,

but when I try to be respectful,
it's like you can't handle it.

[sighs]

Thanks for taking me.

You only have a 30% chance
of getting pregnant,

but it's good to be on the safe side.

[engine starts]

Oh.

Never heard that before.

[gears shifting]

[engine revving]

Liam?

I just wanted you to know, I didn't mean
to hook up with anybody else.

[chuckles] Dude, it's no big deal.

But I also feel like...

I think I was raped.

[scoffs]

Are you insane?

Are you actually insane? Like...

Do you even know what rape is?

[car stops]

Why would you even say that to me?

I'm sorry.
I... I don't think that about you.

- Finny!
- There she is.

- [boys laughing]
- [boys banging door]

Finny, if I'm still hungover,
you're definitely still hungover.

[Peyton] Hey, come on,
come on, come on. Let's go.

Milady.

You are an animal, FaNelli.

Hey, you two... gotta step it up.

- You are such a loser.
- Loser?

- I think that was your job last night.
- Did you win any games at all?

- [Hilary] Yeah, I won two. Yeah.
- [young Dean] I don't think so.

I mean, if I'd lost as much as you had,
then I would have left long ago.

Oh, come on.

[somber music playing]

[Ani] Luke?

[sighs]

[seagulls squawking]

[somber music continues]

"Oh, honey,
why do you have a cut on your lip?"

"Hmm. It's 'cause I'm betrothed
to a sexual deviant, Mother."

[indistinct chatter]

[seagulls squawking]

[Mr. Larson]
TifAni, I've told Headmaster Mayer

about the events
with the three boys this weekend.

[Mr. Mayer] Are you talking about
reporting this, TifAni?

[door lock clicks]

How does that work? What happens?

[Mr. Mayer] The boys
will be questioned by the police. [sighs]

It will need to be disclosed on their
college applications, potentially.

[inhales] If you decide to go that route,

you need to be absolutely sure
what you're saying,

and that can be difficult to determine
with so much alcohol involved.

The situation has been obfuscated.

There was no obfuscation,
Headmaster Mayer.

She said no.

[Mr. Mayer] Is that true? Did you say no?

[somber music playing]

I-I don't know.

I don't know.

I didn't want to.

[breathing shakily]

I said, "Ow."

I just remember always saying, "Ow."

I remember screaming at Dean. Uh...

I tried to push Liam off of me,

but he thought I was, like,
touching his face so he kissed me.

He was really drunk too.

[telephone clattering]

[Mr. Mayer punching phone buttons]

- What... What are you doing?
- [Mr. Mayer] I'm calling your mom.

Legally, I can't contact
the police regarding a minor

unless the guardian is informed.

[telephone clattering]

[inhales sharply] Stop.

Stop.

No.

No.

I changed my mind.

[panting]

[doorknob clattering]

Mr. Larson got fired. [breathing heavily]

They said he shouldn't
have let us leave the school dance.

[Arthur] He's the scapegoat.
Dean's fucking untouchable.

Come in.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Um, that... that belonged to his dad.

Yeah. Legacy to Columbia
and a surefire way out of this hellscape

is the only thing he ever gave me.

- Want some?
- No.

[young Ani] I can't breathe.

Should we tell her?

Tell me what?

Um...

- Ar-Arthur, can we... can we just not?
- Come on, we're among friends.

Two summers ago, Dean and Peyton showed up

to Kelsey Quick's
eighth grade graduation party.

They were all 16 and fucked up
and, you know, like...

- I thought that they were being nice.
- Oh, they were not being nice.

They said they wanted to smoke up with us.

You always leave that part out to make me
look like I'm a fucking idiot for going.

Going where?

Well, into the woods,
where Peyton pinned Ben to the ground,

and Dean took a shit on Ben's chest.

I heard that he ate
a burrito that day in preparation.

Fuck you, Arthur!
You're such a fucking prick, man.

Yeah, okay.
Then he ran straight to Suburban Square,

went to the Rite Aid,
bought a pack of razors,

and slit his wrists in the bathroom.

[door closing]

Is that really true?

Yeah.

What? He obviously didn't cut deep enough
to do any real damage.

His parents sent him off to make
macaroni art for the rest of the summer.

Why are you like that to him?
You're acting like you're mad at him.

- I am fucking mad at him.
- Why?

He didn't do anything about it.

I mean, it's gotta be a crime,
biological warfare.

He just wanted it dropped.

And now here it is happening again,

and here you are,

keeping that runway free and clear
for it to keep happening.

My mom can't know.

She would hate me.

Okay. Yeah, that's what everybody thinks.

My ass got suspended, my mommy
still thinks the sun shines out of it.

No. You don't understand what she's like.

Yeah, I really don't.

What kind of mother doesn't strap
those babies into a cable knit?

["This Must Be the Place
(Naive Melody)" playing]

[Ani gasps]

Baby, check this out.

Oh good, another cable knit.

[laughs]

- You like this for the first dance, right?
- No.

- What? I thought we agreed?
- No. No, we never agreed.

- We sure did.
- Oh my God! [laughs]

We talked about this. Oh my God!

[both laughing]

- Oh my God. Okay, what's next?
- And then...

[Luke] Okay, well, this is the list.

- Wedding Playlist Party.
- Okay.

- [music plays]
- No, do not play.

- No?
- Do not play.

- [new song pops on]
- Definitely do not play.

- You don't like this song?
- No, I...

I do like the song,
but the guy's a pedophile.

- You can still like the song though.
- Right, I do like the song.

What are you not getting?

You think what you just said
makes any sense?

[song continues]

- Turn it off.
- No.

Turn off the song...

Luke, turn off the fucking song!

- Fine.
- [song stops playing]

Happy?

[laptop clatters]

[slams]

[students chattering]

Aw. It's my two favorite people.

[Peyton sighs]

You tell the headmaster
how much you loved it?

[young Dean]
That's so cute. That's adorable.

[boys laughing]

Damn, you really do have a wide load.

[young Dean laughs]

Oh, thanks, I've been doing squats.

[chuckles]

Stop. Stop, let's go.

- [grunts]
- [thuds]

- Oh my God.
- [Arthur] You're cute when you're mad.

Come on, hit me. No one's gonna stop you.
No one ever stops you.

- [Arthur grunts]
- [students oohing, shouting]

Oh, fuck him up!

- [young Dean grunting]
- [Arthur groaning]

[girl 1] It's all your fault!

[students shouting]

[boy] Come on!

[grunts, groans]

[students shouting]

[teacher groans]

[Arthur] Shit.

[Peyton] Dean, go. Go!
Get the fuck out of here.

[girl 2] Go.

Oh, fuck.

- [girl 3] Go. Get out.
- [girl 4] What is going on?

[teacher groaning]

Ow!

You didn't know it was Mrs. Hurst.
Why can't you just apologize?

Oh, like you did? And everything
is just peachy keen for you now?

Oh, come on,
it's better than getting expelled.

Think you're gonna get into Columbia now?

Okay, kindly adjust your tone, young lady.

I was standing up for my friend.

[sighs]

I know.

Thank you.

[inhales sharply]

I don't want you to thank me,

I want you to act
like you have a smidge of dignity.

Just a tiny microscopic smidge.

I mean, you have to have
that much at least, right?

[sighs]

You can't be mad at me.
I didn't ask you to do any of this.

You should be mad at you.

You had a chance to take him down,
and you didn't

'cause you're so fucking desperate
to redeem yourself.

- You sound so fucking stupid right now.
- Yeah, I'm the stupid one.

I'm not gonna take Dean down.
It doesn't fucking work like that, Arthur.

You apologized to Liam, for fuck's sake.

You apologized to your own fucking rapist.

I mean, seriously,
how can you live with yourself?

[young Ani] Fuck you.

TifAni, wait, no.

TifAni, wait. TifAni.

[young Ani] Here.
You're such a fucking loser.

[door opens, closes]

[Luke] Hey, babe,
I just wanna say good luck today.

I know you're nervous,
but it's gonna be okay.

You deserve closure on this.

Love you. Bye.

[car door shuts]

[pensive music playing]

[sighs]

[students chattering]

Ani, you ready?

[pensive music continues]

Just up here.

Uh, if you need anything,
you can feel free to tell me.

Uh...

- Set?
- Set.

[man] Rolling.

[Aaron] Okay, uh, Ani, you ready?

Can you tell us your personal experience
of that tragic day?

Whenever you're ready.

You know, I... I always thought

the most vulnerable
you'll ever see a person is from behind.

[Ani] Like, you can autopsy every pore,
every hair,

like they're defenseless.

I always thought it was cute

that the back of Dean's neck
had blonde hairs

when everywhere else
was dark and coarse, when he jumped.

[loud blast]

[glasses shattering]

[students breathing heavily]

[students groaning, sobbing]

[water running]

[students coughing]

- [moaning]
- [ears ringing]

[breathing shakily]

[young Ani's friend] Tif! Tif! Tif!
[grunts]

Come on! Come on! Come on!

[young Ani] Olivia! [whimpers]

[students whimpering]

- [gunshot]
- [students screaming]

- [gun firing]
- [panicked shouts, cries]

[boy panting]

- [young Ani's friend] Come on!
- [both panting]

Go, go, go!

[lights flickering]

[door squeaking]

[floorboard creaking]

[dull thud in distance]

- [girl panting]
- [door opens]

[Peyton] He had a gun. I saw him.

- Okay, okay, okay.
- [Olivia] Who has a phone?

Phone? Okay, okay, okay.

[panicked chatter]

- [boy] Ben!
- [commotion]

No bars! [breathing shakily]

[glass shattering]

[gasps]

[Ani] You're sad about that.

Look sad.

She didn't deserve that.

[clattering]

[glass crunching, clinking]

[young Ani breathing shakily]

Witnesses claim that Ben said...

- Hey, Tif.
- [young Ani gasps]

[breathing heavily]

As though the two of you
had an understanding.

Is that true?

Yes.

[Aaron] What was that understanding?

[Ani] I wanted revenge too.

That he was a victim too.

[exhales sharply]

Hey, Peyton.

- Do you wanna go to the woods, man? Hmm?
- [Peyton whimpers]

- Smoke some pot, man?
- Ben. [sobs]

Ben, I am so, so sorry...

- [gunshot]
- [gasps]

- [breathing heavily]
- [whimpering]

[Arthur] Ben?

Ben!

[breathing nervously]

What were you feeling when he walked away?

Was it just this total collective relief?

You know... we all came together
at that moment,

'cause we... we knew
that we had to help Peyton.

[young Ani's friend shudders]

Oh my God.

- Hey.
- No. No, no. [sobs]

[Liam] How is this happening?

How is this happening?

We need to get out of here.

[utensils clanging]

[breathing heavily]

What the fuck's that gonna do?

[sobbing]

[young Ani] We need to get out of here.

[sobbing]

- [Liam] Up or down?
- The old dorm rooms are up.

Would he have gone up?

[young Ani breathing shakily]

I vote down.

[unsettling music playing]

[door closes]

[foreboding music playing]

- [gun firing]
- [screaming]

[both panting]

- Go, go! Come on! Run! Run!
- Go, go, go!

Come on! [breathing heavily]

[young Ani] Hurry, come on!

[breathing shakily]

[breathing heavily]

[whimpers, breathes shakily]

[unsettling music playing]

[lock clicks]

[gunshot]

You didn't hold the door open
for Liam Ross.

I wanna give you the chance
to explain why.

[Ani] Because I wasn't going to put
my life on the line for one of my rapists.

I guess I wasn't brave enough.

[sloshing]

[somber music playing]

[young Ani's friend] Oh my God. Oh my God!
Dean! Dean! Dean!

[water pattering]

Dean.

- [gun fires]
- [screams]

[cocks gun]

Ladies.

- There you are.
- [sprinkler bursts]

[young Ani's friend] Arthur.

Beth. Get out of here. I like you.

[Beth breathing shakily]

- You...
- [whimpers]

Girl with spaghetti for a spine.

[breathing shakily]

You know you want to.

[whimpers]

[Ani] Is it so bad that I did?

[young Ani breathing shakily]

[breathing nervously]

[whimpering]

Please.

- [Arthur grunts]
- [young Ani whimpers]

[young Dean screams] Fuck!

[young Dean groans]

[young Ani breathes shakily]

[young Ani grunts]

[gasping]

[breathing heavily]

[Arthur wheezing]

- [young Ani whimpers]
- [Arthur gasping]

- [young Ani grunting]
- [wheezing]

[whimpering]

[somber music playing]

[breathing heavily]

You know, the look on his face,
like... he was so confused,

like I was doing it to the wrong person.

You know, to this day,
I can't hold a knife in my hand

without seeing his face.

[Aaron] My goodness, Ani.

Thank you.

[somber music playing]

[Dinah] It's going to be fine.

You did a brave thing, TifAni.

Please don't say that.

[somber music continues]

[girl 1] I can't believe she showed up.
So disgusting.

[girl 2] Can you believe that?

[Ani] I didn't realize I walked into
the funeral with a target on my back.

Dean's version of events
didn't exactly match mine.

[Aaron] And Dean's version of events was?

[Ani] That he didn't wanna be my boyfriend

after I slept with him
and his two best friends.

That I was jilted.

Due to TifAni having relationships
with more than one of these boys...

[Ani] That I got my revenge by helping
Ben and Arthur plan a massacre.

Hell have no fury
like a woman scorned and whatnot.

[cop] Let me escort you back to your car.

[indistinct police radio chatter]

[young Ani] Beth?

And for the grand finale,
we were all gonna shoot ourselves.

Although only Ben managed to do that.

You know, Dean was never gonna walk again,

so who would dare call him a liar?

[Dinah] Is it true?

I had no idea Arthur
was gonna do something like that...

Not that part, the part about the boys!

[young Ani] I didn't want to, Mom.

- I was drunk. They're lying.
- Oh my God, TifAni.

This is why I say no drinking!

Well, I'm gonna call a lawyer
as soon as I get home.

Oh, what are people gonna say?

You're never charged
as an accomplice. But...

What about your claims against the boys?

Why didn't you file charges back then?

I just thought
they weren't worth pursuing.

Mom.

- Mom...
- [Dinah] No, TifAni.

No, no.

- You disgust me.
- [sobs]

I'm sorry.

You are not the daughter that I raised.

You're lucky you have a mother
who got you a lawyer and supported you.

Not everyone has that.

Hmm. Yes.

Very lucky.

Luckiest girl alive right here.

Do you wish your mother
did more to help you?

[Ani] I wish she hadn't looked at me
like I was rode hard and put away wet.

[unsettling music playing]

Ani, do you wanna say more about that,
or should I move on?

[wheelchair clattering]

[gasps]

- Aaron, what the fuck?
- Hi, Finny.

I swear, he's not supposed to be here
until tomorrow.

- You need to get outta here.
- [Dean] Wait.

Finny, please. Just give me five minutes.

[Aaron] What are you doing here?
This is not what we talked about.

Ani, stay. Ani, don't go. He should be
the one to go. I'm getting him outta here.

- [Dean] Finny.
- No, no. Don't worry about it.

- [Aaron] Ani.
- Please.

[Aaron] Ani, wait.

Ani, wait. Ani.
Don't let Dean run you out of here.

Think about all the women
you're gonna help by telling your story.

You're standing up for them too.

All the women will be fine.

[pensive music playing]

[Ani] My mother insisted
I stick it out at Brentley.

It was a lonely two years.

My classmates and I
had survived this life-changing event

that few people could understand.

[whooping]

They could lean on each other.

But I had no one.

My senior year,
we took a field trip to New York City,

where I had this... experience.

[woman] I don't need to impress him.

So do you know when the samples
are actually arriving?

- You okay?
- Sorry.

No, the samples
have to be there by Friday.

Yes, Friday. Did you not schedule it?

[Ani exhales]
I'd never seen a woman like that before.

A woman who threatened people
on the phone,

who could buy herself expensive things,

who cut a path through New York City
simply because she looked like

she had more important places to be
than anyone else.

I just had to get to that, I decided...

[somber music playing]

And no one could ever hurt me again.

[siren wails in distance]

[man 1] Oh, come on.

- [men chatter indistinctly]
- [game playing on TV]

- [Luke] Who wants another one?
- [man 1] Yeah, grab me one.

[Luke] One, two, three, four more?

- [man 2] Yes, sir. Thank you.
- [man 3] Here we go, boys.

[indistinct chatter]

[man 1] There it is. I told you.

- You're home.
- [men] Yeah!

- [Ani] Yeah.
- [men laughing]

I left.

[game playing on TV]

I'm done.

It just, um...

It just didn't feel right.

You know, I'm thinking about
actually writing something myself.

Get it out of my system that way.

[exhales sharply]

I think that's really smart.

[somber music playing]

[smooches]

- [men chatter indistinctly]
- Uh...

You want a drink?

Martini, straight up,
three olives, no vermouth.

- Vodka, olives coming right up.
- Okay.

[men laughing]

[man 1] Exactly. I didn't say that.

Thank you for your service.

Please don't be mad,
but I think I'm moving to London.

[exhales sharply] You think?

Well, guess what?
I am mad, so deal with it.

What's that?

I've written something.

You think The Times would want it?

[LoLo scoffs]

[paper rustling]

You know what I wish I knew 38 years ago?

It's a lot easier
to be angry with the guy.

My high school boyfriend...

could be creative.

I'm sorry, LoLo.

[sighs] It's all right.
There's no need to make a scene.

Your guys, I mean,
they rot in the ground or whatever,

but the people who love you,

who failed you so miserably,

stop trying to protect them
with this vague half-assery,

and you might actually
have something there.

But for now, let me be perfectly clear,

an approximation of honesty

doesn't make the cut
at the paper of record.

So, you know, take another swing at it.

Write it like no one will ever read it.

Not Luke, not your musty in-laws,
definitely not your parents.

That is how you write
something worth reading.

I mean, no one's
making you write about it.

I mean, go to London.
Go live your life with Luke.

Just decide something.

Decide.

I'm... I'm trying.

[scoffs]

Look, I'll make it very simple for you.

You just say what it is that you want,

not what everyone else wants,

and then you do that.

- If you tell anyone what I just told you...
- I won't.

No, about it being 38 years
since I was a teenager,

I will hunt you down
and make you eat a carb.

I had a choice to make on that day.

I could blame the world
for what happened to me,

or I could find the opportunity.

Every challenge, every heartache,

every tragedy in life

offers an opportunity
to do something different,

to do something kind.

[whispers] I told you.
So inspiring, right?

I haven't heard a word he's said. [laughs]

- ...no one can ever take away that choice.
- [woman] Shh.

[audience applauding]

[indistinct chatter]

[somber music playing]

[softly] Look, I could admit that I lied
about your involvement in the shooting.

I was young a-and scared, confused.

People will understand that.

But... I don't know how the hell
I'm gonna explain what happened with us.

I have a wife.

[Ani] Three, two...

Daughters.

Mmm. Right at the buzzer.

And this would destroy them.

But me, I was fair game?

I was just trying to get out ahead of you.

I was scared that you'd tell the cops
about that night at my house.

Plus, I was stuck in this,
and you weren't.

So I was so angry at you.

Do you know the difference between me
and someone like you, Dean?

Between me and an Arthur?

Because I was angry too,
so fucking angry you wouldn't believe it.

But my anger is like carbon monoxide.

It's odorless, tasteless,
colorless, and completely toxic

but only to me.

See, I don't take my anger out
on anyone other than my fucking self.

Shh.

[whispers]
I didn't mean for it to happen like that.

I was... drunk, you know?

I didn't even understand that
that is what I was doing.

Not when I was crying?

Not when I was begging you to wait. Wait.

Wait, like we were gonna... we were gonna
talk about it, figure it out.

Do you know that every time
I start to feel

just a little bit good about myself,
I remember that I begged...

and there that goes.

If you talk about that night,
I'll deny it...

and I'll double down on my claim
that you planned it with Arthur and Ben.

And there's a lot of people
that are gonna believe me.

Are you seriously
trying to threaten me right now?

I'm trying to offer you a deal.

Okay?

You don't talk about
what happened that night.

And I'll say you had nothing
to do with the shooting.

There it is.

Look, I know I was an asshole back then,

but I have made it my mission
to make up for that every day.

Does that...
Does that not count for anything?

[sniffles, sighs]

[Dean] Thank you.

[sniffles]

See, I was a victim too...

but no one ever treated me like one.

So let's just stop
with your self-pitying bullshit.

Do you know how many times
I've said the word "rape" in my life?

I know, I fucking hate that word too.
Makes me wanna peel my skin off.

I wonder if you've ever used it,

even once.

Probably not.

Probably not.

So I'm gonna sit here and watch you squirm

while you make it
a part of your vocabulary.

[scoffs]

[whispers] Fine.

Fine.

You win.

I, uh...

I raped you.

Okay?

[pensive music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[fan] It's really just an honor
to meet you.

Um, thank you so much.
You're such an inspiration.

[indistinct chatter]

[recording rewinding]

[Ani] So I'm gonna sit here
and watch you squirm

while you make it
a part of your vocabulary.

[Dean] Fine. You win.

I, uh...

I raped you.

[somber music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[car door slams]

[Luke grunts]

Need a lift?

[Luke grunts]

[wistful music playing]

[Ani sighs]

[inhales deeply]

[Ani] Good riddance, TifAni FaNelli,

welcome, Ani Harrison.

[guests chattering]

[Ani] You belong here.

You do.

♪ Ooh ♪

[guests applauding]

♪ Ooh ♪

[applauding continues]

♪ Ooh ♪

[inaudible]

♪ Ooh ♪

[instrumental orchestral music playing]

[inaudible]

[indistinct chatter]

[phone ringing]

I'm sorry. One second.

One moment.

Yeah. Of course.

Okay.

Yeah. Thank you.

♪ Ooh ♪

[gasps] Oh my God!

[indistinct chatter]

- Um, I'll... I'll catch up with you.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey.

Um...

Can we go talk?

♪ Ooh ♪

[music fading]

[guests chattering in distance]

[sighs]

This is running in The New York Times?

Yeah.

How could you not tell me about this?

[sighs]

I'm sorry.

[sighs]

I guess I... I just don't understand. I...

I always thought
you had moved on from all this.

I admired you for that.
I thought you were so tough.

So tough that I try to skip the part
where I hurt about this?

No. Until I do that, I'm just a fraud.

Fine, but can't you
work that out privately?

Do you have to get into the nitty-gritty
details for the whole world?

Those guys... were going around
making fun of the shape of my pubic hair.

They were making fun
of the sounds I was making.

- So yes, the nitty-gritty matters to me.
- They're dead.

And one of them is in a wheelchair.
Haven't they paid for their mistakes?

- Their mistakes?
- They fucked up. I'm agreeing with you.

No, no, no. A... A fuck-up is when you take
your parent's car without permission

and... and scratch the paint.

A fuck-up doesn't even begin
to encompass what they did to me.

Ani, it's our fucking rehearsal dinner.

How are we talking about this right now?

God! You used to be so different.
You used to be so fun.

[sobs]

- Fun?
- Yes, fun.

We used to have fun together. I miss that.

I don't know if I'm fun.

I don't know what's me

and what part I invented
to make people like me.

God, I used to be so proud of that. I-I...

I thought it was this chameleon
who was so much smarter than everyone.

[sobs] So much smarter that
I don't even know a thing about myself.

Hey, hey. I don't believe that.

- We can get back there. Hey, stop.
- [Ani sobs]

[sniffles]

We can get back there.

I love you. You love me.
We can figure it out.

[Ani] No.

Do you remember the time
you said you felt like a box

that I just checked off?

[sighs]

I do love you...

[inhales deeply]

But I've been using you. [whimpers]

I resent you.

It's not... It's not fair.

You're not the one who hurt me,
but I... but I take it out on you.

- I've never felt like you resent me.
- Because I'm like a wind-up doll.

Turn my key, and I'll tell you
exactly what you wanna hear.

I have denied myself
and denied myself. [sniffles]

I'm fine.

I'm not hurt.

And it has... it has built up
this rage inside of me.

Look, I... I should've faced up
to all of this sooner.

I... I just think that I need to do it now

without worrying about what you
or anyone else thinks about it.

Is this really happening right now?

[inhales sharply]

[exhales sharply]

[somber music playing]

[sobbing]

[groans]

[somber music continues]

[somber music continues]

[Ani] It's like LoLo said,

an approximation of honesty
won't make the cut.

And that's what I had with Luke.

I hate that I hurt him,

but this is where I belong.

This is what I always wanted.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't suffering

from a mild case of phantom limb syndrome.

But maybe things are brighter without it.

- [doorknob rattling]
- [door opening]

"If you read one thing today,

it should be Ani FaNelli's essay
in New York Times Magazine."

"I sent it to every woman I know,
and so should you!"

- [laughter]
- [Nell] Oh, Dean Barton is so fucked!

Oh my God!

- Ooh! Get up!
- I'm up!

You're going viral!

- Oh my God.
- Ugh! Wait, do you... do you have any OJ?

[Ani] Yeah, I keep the Sunny D
in the side door.

[Nell] Ha-ha-ha-ha!

She's a funny writer girl.

[acoustic music playing]

[door closing]

[acoustic music continues]

Look it!

- [squeals]
- Look at this!

[Nell] You look amazing. [laughs]

Ah! I'm so proud of you.

[cars honking]

[commenter 1] I just finished reading
your piece and am utterly haunted.

Thank you for speaking up.

From someone who has always felt like
no one would listen to her anyway.

[indistinct PA announcement]

[commenter 2] I cried reading your essay.

Thank you for putting it out
into the world.

[commenter 3] I was also assaulted
by a guy I thought was a friend.

Hearing your story gives me hope
that one day I can tell mine too.

[commenter 4]
I was raped while completely unconscious.

The lines about coming to

hit me so hard.

[wistful music playing]

[commenter 5] I never told anyone,

not even my husband.

[wistful music continues]

[elevator dings]

[Ani] When I sat down to write this essay,
the goal was to avenge my reputation,

maybe stick it to the people who hurt me.

But it's become so much more than that.

- Ani. So nice to meet you.
- So much more than me.

Of course. Thank you.

[Rachel] Now, I read your op-ed...

[Ani] It's about the importance
of all of us speaking freely,

even if people wanna silence us.

So that we can become the kind of women
our younger selves would admire.

I'm hearing from women
who have never shared their stories,

from women who have carried
this horrible thing

with them alone for 38 years,

and I just hope that no one
has to ever do that again.

I hope that people
feel compelled to share their stories,

to talk about what happened to them,

and to know
that you have nothing to be ashamed of.

[pensive music playing]

[Rachel] Wow.

Ani, thank you so much for being here.

- Of course.
- [Rachel] Truly inspiring story.

Thank you.

[exhales deeply]

[gentle music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

TifAni FaNelli, right?

Yeah.

Sarah Gardener.
I cover public health for Bloomberg.

[Ani] Okay.

Gun control is under my domain.

I've covered Dean Barton's career
quite extensively.

He's helped a lot of people
over the years.

[clicks tongue] Let's hope
your 15 minutes of fame will too.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Excuse me. I'm so sorry. I...

I would love to stay in touch,
but I already forgot your name.

- It's Sarah Gard...
- That's okay.

I'll just remember you as the woman
I told to go fuck herself on 5th Avenue.

[Ani] Gotta work
on that delivery, FaNelli,

but fuck that felt good.

["I Know Where I've Been"
by Elle King playing]

♪ Not gonna stay here anymore ♪

♪ Stronger than I was before ♪

♪ I can finally breathe ♪

♪ Through all the crazy and the strange ♪

♪ With bare feet on the pavement ♪

♪ Out of control ♪

♪ Oh, I was frightened ♪

♪ Of letting it go ♪

♪ Now I'm free ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm free ♪

♪ Oh, I'm free ♪

♪ From everyone ♪

♪ No secret where I've been ♪

♪ 'Cause the weight of my skin ♪

♪ Is like a memory ♪

♪ That keeps reminding me ♪

♪ Can't undo what I can't forget ♪

♪ Can't know what happens next ♪

♪ I found a way out ♪

♪ Yeah, I made my way out ♪

♪ Now I'm free ♪

♪ Yes, I'm free ♪

♪ Oh, I'm free ♪

♪ From everyone ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm free ♪

♪ Oh, I'm free ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm free ♪

♪ From everyone ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm free ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm free ♪

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing continues]

♪ Yeah, I'm free ♪

♪ From everyone ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm free ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm free ♪

♪ Oh, I'm free ♪

♪ From everyone ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm free ♪

♪ Oh, I'm free ♪

♪ Finally letting it go ♪

♪ By letting you know ♪

[music fading]

[wistful music playing]