All language subtitles for 10.Rules.for.Sleeping.Around.2013.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG

Cameron!

Hi.
-My boss is gonna kill me for leaving early.

What is your emergency?
I can't believe you brought me out in the rain.

Stop, i love a little summer rain.

I think it's romantic.
And what are you talking about?

I thought you quit the travel agency
to supervise your remodelling..

I did but Owen's out of control,
and now i'm working like a dog to pay for it.

And Cameron, i can't tell Ben.

What's the rush?
You know the market would turn around.

There's only one Hamptons.

Why am i here?
What is your emergency?

Okay..

Speaking of the old Hamptons getaway..

I need to borrow it.

Why?

I'm having a little open house myself.

But only one guy is coming.

Read.. His name is Hugh.

I mean she's my future baby mama.

I love me my Kate.
-It's not about love, how's your sex life?

It's..

It's fine.
-My point percisely.

You gotta spice it up.
-By banging other girls?

Slow down buddy,
you're not there yet.

Slow down.

Start by..

Asking Kate for a threesome.

Are you out of your mind?

Why not? You ever had one?
-No.

See, you know i know women.

You know this, but you gotta grow a pair
and ask her.

You know what?
I'm not even supposed to say this..

But Kate has asked Cameron about it.

No, that don't work me.
That is bull.

There are clear cut signs,
for when a woman wants to sleep around.

I know this, perfect hair, good panties,
night time make up in the morning..

Like you would know good panties.

I'm just saying, if the sex is already boring
and you're not even married yet..

Why not throw it out?

I couldn't handle a threesome.

I couldn't do it, honestly.

I'm just not well-verse enough
on threeway ettiquete.

I mean where to start..

What to put where,
who do you do first..

Am i paying too much attention,
not enough attention..

Who to thank..
The pressure.

You thank everybody.

I can't believe you're having an affair.

Not an affair.

A fling, a larc, a bump, bootycall.

Little bump and grind.

What about your husband?

It was Vince's idea.

You're having an open marriage?
How come you never told me this?

Over 50% of marriages fail because of infidelity.

So, right before we got married..

Vince came out with the 10 rules
to a healthy open relationship.

How many men have you been with?

That we would never end up divorce because of cheating.
-How many?

Men biologically have the need to spread their seeds..

How many men?
-Doesn't matter.

Do you think Hugh would like this?

It has no zippers or buttons.

He'll love it.

So, he made up 10 rules.

Yeah, 1.. Never go out with an ex.
-Right.

2.. No more than 3 dates with the same person.

3.. no pictures, video, or media yet to be invented
throughout the universe.

4.. Always an away game, never on home turf.
That includes friends and neighbor's beds.

It can be wrong.
-Yeah.

Number 5 AKA the no Marv Albert play by play..

No announcements, no intros,
no details..

You see each other in public,
you keep walking.

Hold it Cammie, this is way to Maxim.

And i don't even read Maxim.

What happened if you just woke up one morning, and you were like..

Time for some fresh dick.

Sorry.

Number 6, the neighborhood blackout rule.

Stay away from favorite restaurants,
clubs, hangouts.

7.. The group maxed no more than 5 at a time.

Time out, flag on the play.

What does it matter how many people if you're open about it?

More than 5 people becomes an orgy,
i have standard..

But as high as a limbo stick.

8.. No gifts, giving or receiving..

9.. The no sleeping with friends and family plan.

That includes second and third cousins.

God, that is so gross. Only you Vince, would need a rule like that.

The number 1..

On the Letterman's top 10,
this is important..

Never ever ever..

Ever say i love you.

Maybe you should consider separation.

Hell no.

How can i blame him for something i stupidly agree?

You don't have to,
that's what divorce lawyers are for.

You don't get it, girl.

I love him.

Right, but this makes stupid.
Like..

Stupid.
-Taxi!

Taxi!

Stay, stay, stay.

Please.
-Owen is at Loraine's in the Hamptons, so you'll be good.

Great.

Hey, can you keep this for me
til tomorrow?

I don't want Vince to see it.
-Sure.

I love you.

You and your summer rain.

You two should only be as lucky as us.

And you know why?
-Enlighten us.

It's because we're always completely honest
and open with each other.

And because we keep surprising each other..

This year for your birthday,
i'm taking you antiqing in Rhode Island.

No..
-What, no!
-Yes..

You're so sweet.

Quaint little B&B..

No television, no phone,
just you and me my dear, that's it.

I love you.
-I love you.

I have been asking him to do this forever.

No TV?

It's after the playoffs,
don't worry about it.

Hey guys, so what brings us to this two credit card dinner?

Who is the hottest children's author..

Since Harry Potter?

Emma Cooney.
-Boom, there you go.
-What?

Vince is going to be meeting with her on Friday.
-No..

To discuss the publishing of her new book..

Oh my god, why didn't you tell me?

Because you would have bought a new dress.

This one can shop more than a speedfreak on Ebay.

He's got that right, wait til Hugh sees her in that new dress.

You can really go from..

Sweet to shitty in one second.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom..

I will be right back.

No more working, and travels for you.

I am just gonna leave you two alone
for a minute.

ask her.

What's going on?

I have to ask you something.

Sure.

You know it's only taking me this long to propose to you because..

I don't want us to end up miserable like my folks,
because they constantly broke..

I can still hear my mom said..

No money comes in the door,
love flies out the window.

I love you.
-I keep telling you, it doesn't matter to me.

We'll do our house up, and we'll sell it..

And it'll be our little nest egg, you and i.

Thank god we pulled the plug on that fru fru decorator guy..

Otherwise our nest egg, will be a tree house.

That's besides the point, that's your money.
I don't want it.

I'm sorry that our sex life hasn't exactly been..
-Ben, don't worry. You know what?

We've both been really busy and you're focusing on the business, it's fine.

Right. No, wrong.
-Wrong.

Way wrong.

Okay, i've been thinking about something.

I don't even know how to say this.

I'm nervous.
-It's okay.

I think..

That the way to take our relationship
to the next level..

Yeah..

Is..
-It's okay.

I'm gonna say yes..

Well..

Will you have a threesome with me?

Well, you.. I can't wait to get you fuck me.

Because i have a surprise..

Probably Chlamydia..
Hurry up.

Really?
Really you'll have a threesome with me?

Definitely.

I've always wanted to know
what it would be like with..

Two guys.

The only question is, tomorrow morning do i text you
or do i nudge you.

What's up, cool breeze?
How did it go?

Awful, the worst possible way it could have gone..

Then you didn't sell it right.

I definitely sold it, she said yes.

Then what's the problem?

Hey, is that you?

Oh my God.
Hi.

Matt!

How are you?
-So good to see you.

You still look amazing.

Nice to see some things don't change.

You still look like you're in shape.

You always did like breaking a sweat.
-Yeah, i remember our litte work out.

Let's do punch tomorrow.

i'm only in town for two days on business.

We got a lot of catching up to do.

9am. Lugo's.

Okay.
-See you tomorrow.

Bye.

Hello.. Who was that?

Matt.

Exboyfriend Matt?

Highschool pole vaulter Matt..

Damn, he can stick it to me anytime.

Ladies..

Perfect time.

A threeway?

Ben can't even get a boner
with a cat in the room.

Matt would never share me with anyone.

At least Benny's getting laid.

I wonder what the Yanks are doing tonight?

It's not slutty,
we're evolved.

It's so European.

Great, i'm gonna have some guy's balls
in my face.

I'm gonna kill Vince.

We're here at the palatial estate of media Tsar,
Jeffery Field.

His legendary summer, starstudded
la Dolce Vita Ball is the party of the season.

The place to be.

Security is tight.

But i had a chance to sit down with the..

Always controversial Field,
and talk to him about..

His legendary career as well as his notoriously
open lifestyle..

Which is being followed by
his new reality series..

"Fields of Dreams".

Mr Fields, the stories are legendary.

How you started in the mailroom,
work your way all the way up..

To owning your own multimillion dollar empire.

Bullshit, i fucked my way to the top.

I fucked whoever and whatever i had to.

Men, women, i fucked a camel once.
I don't give a shit.

Put it right here in front of my cock,
and i'll fuck it if it means i'll get my way.

I'll fuck you and your cameraman right now,
if it'll make more people watch this shit.

Why don't we talk about your fabulous ball?

Your guest list is the creme de la creme..

Wallstreet, Hollywood celebrities, socialites,
industrial titans..

And my ever presence entourage,
my boys and girls..

The beautiful people..
-yes.

What's your secret?
-I have no secrets.

I'm a media whore, remember?

But i don't give anything away.

So, go to my newest global venture..

FieldEPublishing.com..

And for $9.95, you can download
all the juicy tidbits.

In my best selling autobiography..

I fucked everyone..

And as in all Jeffery Field's gala..

It don't end until the sun shines.

I'm Michael Corbit.

Mr Owen, i was told you want to move the cigar box by 4 feet?

Yes, please thank you.

But.. It's a massive undertaking.

Massive undertaking? Do you feel that breeze?
-Yeah.

See the way the smoke from the cigar is going this way?
If you're smoking a cigar..

Here, and i'm here talking to Gwyneth Paltrow
and Miley Cyrus..

The cigar smoke comes to them,
now they smell like Fidel Castro.

You want that? No, me neither. So, 4 feet, thank you.
-Okay.

Excuse me, why is this purple?

Why is it purple?
I want it violet.

Perfection is our sanctity,
if you don't understand, i'll get someone else.

Thank you, you can take it away now.
Go.

Cherrie..
-Somebody really knows how to crack the whip.

Cherrie, you should see me in the bedroom..

That can be arranged.

If i have met you before that summer
in Vankemp, who knows..

My life might have taken a different turn.

I've got first dibs on Owen.

Besides, i don't think you're his type.

Behave, i'm not a piece of meat.

What is my nosey neighbor Barbara
doing here today?

Being nosey.

I think you're trying to steal my stylist.
Don't worry Barb, i don't think there's a thing he can do to you..

That your plastic surgeon hasn't done already.

I said it.

Stop flirting, if your boyfriend Hans see you touch me,
he's gonna have your nuts in a sling.

If this party isn't uber fabulous,
i'll have your nuts..

And they won't be in a sling.

No no, that sucked.

Let's shoot that again.

Give me the line again.

He'll have nuts..
-Screw it, we'll fix it on the post.

I heard that.

I brought you muffins.

What is IW2SUTYTC mean?

I want to screw you until your toes crawl.
-Oh God.

Cameron, that's disgusting, i need
a wetnap.

I need the keys to your house.

So get this..

Last night, i thought Ben was gonna propose.

Instead, the jerk asked me
for a threeway.
-No.

So i burned him and made up some
BS about wanting 2 guys.

Cameron, Cameron,
this is important to me.

Honey, i'm listening.

Okay okay.
All guys want it..

The only difference is
some have the guts to ask.

Vince asked?

No guts, i'm his Madonna,
the Virgin Mary.

Who's on her way to hook up with some guy
for the weekend.

Why aren't you hooking up
in some hotel in the city?

Because, i told you, Hugh is taking me
to Jeffery Field's La Dolce Vida Ball.

The house is under construction,
i haven't been down there for weeks. Owen is..

He's temperamental.
It's totally a mess.

Every room from South Hamptons to Montaugh is sold out.

Thank you, thank you.
I love you.

I'm sorry i have to run on you big time,
big kiss.

I'm not happy about this.

Oh shit, Cameron.

Cameron, your dress!

Next stop, Hamptons.

Your dress!

Miss Cooney, can i get your autograph please?

Of course, dear.

When is your next book coming out?

It's called
'The Magical Princess'

And it's coming out shortly.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello.
-Hey there.

Weird.

We are auditioning for the "Cooney Magical Princess" book cover, please. Thank you.

Getting a little ahead of ourselves?

Hold on.

Shit.

Oh shit?
-Oh shit?

Why did you say shit for?
I know what shit means, what does it mean?

Need to reschedule Friday lunch
to Monday drinks?

Off to Field's summer ball,
Emma Cooney Ta?

Shit!

I was at his party last year,
and it was ab fab.

Oh my God, you need to get out of here right now.
Sorry.

Really.
-I'm only here about the cover.

What?

Vince said not only do i look like a princess..

But i have that magical quality too.

We don't have much time for magic, but disappear.
Now, seriously.

Hey, ladies audition's over.
Go home.

DUde, this is like Spielberg's boy, okay?

We invited Cooney so we can scoop the deal.
-Do you think?

Yeah, i think.
So what are we gonna do?

Give me the keys to the Hampton's house.
-Why?

I'm gonna get down there to close Cooney
before Field can.

How are you gonna stroll in uninvited
to the party of the summer?

I'm gonna have to crash it.
-Oh my God.

Want me to tell Cameron you're going so she knows it's legit?
-No no.

She thinks i'm golfing whole weekend.
I don't want to confuse things, it's very important.

Excuse me, hey Vince.

God.

Vince!

Vince!
-Yes!

Stay focus.
-Yeah.

You hear me?
None of your bull.

Vince, we need this.
-I know, Cooney not the pooney.

Got it.

Really?

Oh no, Gaby.

Gaby, pick up?

Hi, it's Gabriella.
Please send message.

Gaby, call me as soon as you get this, okay?

My partner Vince is on his way
to the house right now..

So you gotta get to the hotel and get there quick.
I'll pay for it.

Fast, my sweety, very fast.

Ah!

If i had popped the question,
we'd probably on our second kid?

Oh really?

I've been invited to the Dolce La Vita Ball.

You made the guest list?

Yeah.
-One sec.

Sorry, my best friend Cameron is going to that,
i hear it's the party of the year.

Come with me.

He can stick it to me anytime.

I would love to, but..

I can't.

Baby, i'm home.

Hey, honey.

Babe?

What the hell..

Hey.
-Hey.

Where were you?

I was running errands, why?

I've been calling you.

Why are you so dressed up?

I'm not.

Better question, what is with this $1700 dress?

We haven't closed the deal yet.

Relax, it's not even mine.

I'm just returning it for a friend, Ben.

So, what did you..

Ask me about?

The Hampton house,
i thought maybe..

I should take a loan out on it.

A loan?

To offer Emma Cooney a huge advance
on her book.

Why?

Jeffery Field is gonna try and steal our deal.

Unfortunately..

I maxed out the equity we paid for the remodeling.

Jesus Christ!

What did that rip off decorator charge you?

Nevermind, you know what?

Let's just hope that Vince
talks her into it.

He's on his way up there..
-What?

Ben, you should have asked me.

I'll find the money.
-No, about Vince. You shouldn't just let him stay at the house without asking me.

Why is that?

Cause it's a mess.

Vince would live in a leper colony to close a deal.

Is there something else going on?

Ben, don't be silly, it's just..

I would appreciate it if you consulted me
on things that were mine.

Last night, i thought it was our nest egg.

You went ahead and you spend without talking to me.

Vince, via text, what is IW2..

SUTWTC means?

I want to screw you til your toes curl.

Oh my God.

Lucky you, who's texting you?

Vince, i think she's cheating.
-Calm down.

Shit..

Cameron, you idiot.

No, you didn't.

She's wearing night time make up
and it's morning.

Taxi! taxi!
Come on, why don't you stop?

Off to the Hamptons?

Can you take me to the Hamptons?

Hamptons?
-How much for the Hamptons?

No way..

Not the threesome i had in mind.

Baby, i gotta go.
I'm pulling off to Field's mansion now.

Alright, i'm just gonna go the cottage, hurry.

She is the freaking hottest thing
that you have ever seen.

Duncan, i'm telling you.

I'm banging a real cougar tonight.

She's like 28-29 years old.

And she's a real cougar.

No way, no way.
-You'll see her at the party.

Boo yeah!

Hey baby..

Upstairs.

No, no..
We're gonna go right here.

I'm taking you from the couch.

Wow..

Not gonna need these anymore.

Oh my God, you have the prettiest feet i have ever seen.

And i've seen a lot of feet.

It's like two basketballs
hiding under your skirt.

You always this aggresive?

Don't interrupt my skill.

It's time for some butt bongo, baby.

I want to worship your ass.

Aw..

Have you seen Owen?

Yes, he left on an errand,
saying something about the fa grua..

I think a little too much pistachio.

Your guest?
-Go and get your door for Miss Cooney.

Emma. My darling.

Mon Rocchie is chilled, the berries are freshly baked.

You settle in..

And you get ready for a fabulous feta.

After spending a wet winter, freezing my bum off at Sussex,
i'm more than ready.

Take Miss Cooney's things to the lake house.

I have to get ready for the suarrey.

My son is coming home from Andover,
i'm planning a little surprise for him.

You just make yourself at home..

I am so thrilled you're here.

I'm thrilled to be here.

See you.
-Thank you so much.

Crashing this joint is a piece of cake.

Emma Conney, here i come.

Hi, it's Gabriella,
missing you.

Gaby, if you get this,
get out of the house!

Just stay with me,
let your staff do the work.

Are you kidding?
It's the most important event of my career.

Please.

I'll do the thing with my big toe.

You remind me of my aunt.

Only hotter.

Your body is banging.

Oh my God, you are too cool for words.

And way too hot for clothes.

I told you that i have a surprise..

For you.
-Oh my God!

Oh my God!
-Nice surprise.

Kate, what are you doing here?

One second, pitstop,
but don't worry ladies..

My engine is revved up
and i'm ready to go.

How old is he?

Old enough.

He's gotta go, Vince is here to meet Cooney,
the deal is in trouble, he will be here any minute.

What?
Why don't you call me?

Do you hear me now?
-Shit!

Oh my God!

Put it out!
Oh my God, your hand!

What are you doing?
-Putting the fire out!

I'm naked, i'm hitting it.

And then her girlfriend walks in.

No way!

Not one, but two hot and horny cougars!

Excuse me, excuse me..

Can you come over here please?
-Yeah, hi.

Who are you with?
-I'm with the guys.

The guys?

Yeah.

Just doing my thing.

Your thing?

That's cool, cause i thought that you might be
a sneaky snake sneaking in.

Why would i sneak in?
I'm already here.

Doing what?

Landscaping?

Skimming the pool?

Okay, moaching.

Decorating.

Breaking and entering.

You don't understand.

Is that because you think i make $12 an hour with no benefits, i'm an idiot?

Or maybe because you think i'm black?

Guess what, I'm Dominican.

Really?
-Let's go.

I'm here to see Emma Cooney.

Who?
-Emma Cooney.

You're here to see me?

Yes!

Hi, glad to see you.

Vince.. Ben Roberts, Family Quality Publishing.

You're gonna meet my partner Vince on Monday, yes..
-Yes.

Of course.

I got a little place down the beach,
310 Hampton Road..

Come buy for a sunset cocktail.

I'd love to, but i've only just arrived.

I look forward to meeting Vince on Monday..

If you're here tonight,
do say hello.

Ta..
-Ta!

Da.. See?

She said if i'd..
Not invite.

Go.

You better get the guys to this party.

They are in for the shock of their lives.

Done, i am there.

Hey, Hugh right now is banging cougar.
He's banging cougar right now.

What are we gonna tell Hugh?

What's that noise?

What noise?
-Did you hear that?

When are you gonna stop this gay masquarade?

There are straight 500 designers.

Now can you let me make the bed?

It's a shame nobody sees you for the man you really are.

Every woman wants to believe she's got the magic to turn a gay man straight.

Owen, is that you.
-Admit it, you shit.

I want more down, it's disgusting.

It's like chicken feathers.
-Owen!

Kate!

What are you doing here?

I told you i would call you Monday,
the house is not ready for you to see yet.

Who's this?
-Who are you?

Who are they?
-What's going on?

Who's asking?
-No more questions.

I am Owen Manners, i am Kate's personal lifestylers..

Kate, shoo shoo, your hair is a disaster.

Look at this flyaway, my god you need some hair serum.

Nice to meet you,
how are you?

This is Gabriella.
She is..

Benny's houseguest.

Benny?

So, this is what Benny had in mind.

A threesome with this chiquita.

Global warming in this room
is affecting my chi.

Ciao!

I'm gonna call Benny right now..

We're gonna sort this out.

Fine, it's his house.
-It's my house!

He told me i could stay here
to write my book.

You're a writer?
-Yes.

Like John Gris-ham.

Right.

I'm sure she thinks the thesaurus is a dinosaur.

Hello?
-Hi Ben.

Kate, hey baby. Hi.

Do you have a woman staying in my house?

And before you lie, i'd like to remind you
that i'm here right now.

And she's right in front of me.

I know you will never believe this by looking at her..

But she's a very talented writer.
She has this great idea for a book.

And because the business is running on fume,
In advance..

I thought she can stay at the house for free while she writes.

And at the same time, housesit,
as to protect your investment.

And as for not telling you..

Quite honestly i forgot.

You know, keys and glasses you forget..

A Brazillian bombshell staying in the master bedroom of your girlfriend's house, you don't forget!

Don't you think that if i knew that if you were going there..

I would call her and tell her to leave?

This is not over.

I love me my Kate.
Your my Kate.

Is Vince there yet?

We're definitely gonna talk about this.

There's nothing going on.

I actually think it's her cheating on me,
but she puts me on the defense, weird.

First i get that crazy sextext..

And that brand new dress she never worn..

And my sex maniac partner goes to the hamptons..

To figure out our business, and at the same time
she's there and i can't get a hold of them?

Are you saying something, young man?

He is a three time loser.

His business is going under,
his girl is two-timing him..

And on top of it all,
his partner is stuping her.

That's certainly one interpretation.

So here's where you've been hiding.

What's smell like burn cat hair?

You gotta go.

My husband would murder you.

Your husband?

You're married?

I knew it.

Writer my ass.

That liar!

Where are my pants?

They were right here.

Cameron!

Wait, i'll find you some clothes.
-You see this?

Where are my clothes?

All burned up.
-How?

No time for explanations.
-That bastard is cheating on me.

I need pants.

He's on his way.
-No, your husband can't come.

I'm naked.

Oh my god.

Shit. He looks mean.

Fuck.

Your husband is here.

What?

Vince is at the door.
-Good, let him in, i'll ask him how long Ben's been banging the bimbo.

Come on.

No, this way.

This way!

This is great.

Where did baby Huey go?
-Stop it.

He just looks young.

You're here, hi.

Didn't hear you come in.

You are beautiful.

God damn, you find the place okay?

Who the hell are you?

I'm Vinnie.

Are you not Jannie, my naughty craiglist hottie?

I'm calling the police.

Relax, anybody's calling the police, it's me.

Ben didn't tell me anybody was staying here.

He didn't tell that circus was coming to town either.

Sounds hinky, i'm Ben's partner.

And that sounds hinky to me.

If you were Ben's partner,
you should know i'm here.

The bastard's cheating on me.

That bastard's cheating on you.

.

I'm gonna circumsized him.

This is exaclty why Vince and i
have an open relationship.

Then why are we hiding in the boathouse?

Maybe he's having an affair too.

No, Vince would never, rule number 4 remember?
Always an away game.

But you're here.

I didn't think of that.

Never mind about you,
i am getting even..

Tonight.

To think, i could have hooked up with Matt at the party, but i said no.

You would not even cheat on a math test.

I can just see you dining on Wiener and Balls.

No, i'm doing it.

Even if it's Owen.

Owen's gay.

Not tonight he's not.

Kate?

Gaby?

Vince?
-Hey!

Don't do that!
-Do what?

Is she here?
-Oh yeah.

No, she's not, but why are you holding out on me?

Is Kate here?

No, you can stop acting like all freaked out now, okay?

She's gone.

Did you talk to Emma Cooney yet?

Of course, relax.

She couldn't been more pleasant.
-That's great.

When do we meet?
-Tonight at the party.

SHe invited you?

Not exactly.

But she gave you an invitation?

Not exactly.

But you're on the list?

Not exactly.
-Stop it.

How are we going to the party?

I don't know about you,
but i'm crashing.

Vincy Wincey!

I'm Vince.
-Oh my God!

Yes!

And you brought a friend.
-My best friend Wendy!

Hello.

Since we never see each other..

I didn't know if you're gonna be like a creep..

Or one of those gadget predator freaks
or whatever..

I'm no creep.

He doesn't look like a creep.

Come on, this is Ben.

Vince told me.

You're the guy with the women problem.

Poor little fella.

Your casa is tight..

We are gonna have mad fun.

Excuse me, what are you doing inviting the Jersey Shore in here?

Kate's already think i'm cheating with gaby.

Aren't you?
-No, of course not.

Why not?

The fact that you're hiding Gaby from Kate mean subconsiencely, you want something to happen.

Hold on, just because you have a screw up relationship, doesn't mean..

I'll stop you right there.

I love my wife..

I'd die for her, do not judge what you don't understand.

Yo Vinnie, when are we going to the beach?

Very soon.

I just don't get how you're fine with your wife banging every swinger in a tri-state area.

You think Cam has fooled around?

Cam is a shopper.

The way to get her off
is to yell Sale.

Honestly Vince, is the Emma Cooney thing bolt
so you can have your little..

Vince Gone Wild weekend?

Vin, where can we put our stuff?

Upstairs, but first..

Who wants martinis?
Only they won't be tinies..

He's so ready.

Get them out of here right now.

I can't.
-Why not?

They are our ticket into the party.

Martinis are nice,
but mojitos are nicer.

Go, go!

Shuh..

Bad, bad..

Did baby Hugh go home to mommy?

Stop it with the baby jokes.

He told me he was 24.

That's gross.

Why did you get a dog?

Sorry.

Why me?

See that?
Would you look at that? Is that beautiful?

What?
-Nothing.

The beach!

We need sunbathing.

Oh my God, you are bad.

You're bad.
-You're bad.
-Ladies, you're both bad.

He is so tomorrow's obituary.

God damn it.

You girls have lovely tan.

We got them dyed in..

Turks and Cacos.

I love to dye for konk..

Me too.

I don't get it.

What about your open relationship?

It's just slammed shut.

Cameron, i don't understand.

I thought that you agreed to this.

I did, but..

It's only because i didn't want to lose him.

Benjamin, thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you.

This is 3, you need one.

Make a fourth, please.
-I need that one.

Before Vince and i got married..

I knew he was wild and..

Unpredictable.

How do i love him, right?

I guess i kinda thought if i let him be with
other women afterwards..

He'd..

He'd realized that i'm the only one he wants.

You've never done it.

You can't do it.

You're a monogamous.

How about some music, Benny?

We need music.

Music, can you put the music on, Ben?

There you go, music.

Come on, come on.

I got some moves to show you.

I got some moves to show you..

Come on ladies, let's get you upstairs.

Come on, let's go.

Hell no!

Your room, ladies..

Oh, there's only one bed.

That's okay.

We can sleep together.

Why didn't i think of that?

Go away, dog.

Stop it..

Keys, keys, where did she put those keys?

Wait, what?

I don't mean to get all uptight, and judgey..

Or anything, i just..
-It's all good.

I'm not you, man.

I can't sign up for the Vince's idiot Guide to a marriage.

I didn't mean that,
that came out wrong.

I'm just saying, if Kate cheated on me..

I'd consider killing myself.
-No!

Any pricks doing your old lady would be dead meat, alright?

You're my boy, Ben.
I'd go Goodfellas on them.

Mid-evil torture stuff?
-No.

That's Pulp Fiction, get your movie straight.
I'm trying to be sincere, you're fucking it up.

Not only do i got your back,
i'll take the boat out..

And i'd cut that weasel up.

I'm so..

Fucked.

Soprano style.
-Soprano style.

Come on ladies, we want to be early.

I'll stay here and wait for Kate.

You do that, good luck.

Bye bye Benny.

We'll see you later, right?

Don't worry, i'm gonna have Cooney signed
by the time i get back.

Who doesn't have a door knob?

How are you supposed to get out of the closet
when you're in the closet?

Your chariot awaits.

Come here.
-Oh, how sweet.

He likes you.

Somebody needs a doggy mint.

Yes, you do.

I'm gonna die over cougars.

You must think i'm pretty stupid, huh?

No..

No.

I think you're a woman in love.

Let's just go home.

No, we're going to the Dolce Vita Ball.

Okay?
Come on.

Let's go, you'll have fun.

Come on.

Oh crap.

Cameron?

Hugh was our ticket to the party,
how are we gonna get in?

The old fashion way, baby.

Damn.

This is the new you.

Let's freaking do it, we got 3 hours til this party starts.

So, let's whore up, baby..

I'd die a virgin.

Those Jersey Girls, who likes fake tits?
Nobody.

i have nothing to wear,
i'm not even wearing my good panties.

Why wear any?

Let's steal some of that Brazillian bimbo's clothes.

No, i would never..
-I'll wear something of hers..

And you can wear my new dress.
-No.

How do you not work and afford such expensive clothes?

I can't, Vince may have his 10 rules..

But i've got 1.

The wife shopping code of conduct.

Bang him into that credit card, mortgage,
maternity, whatever it takes.

Too confession of a shopaholic.

Til death do you part.

You know what?
Let's get this party started.

I am gonna get us some shots.
-Okay, i'm gonna take a bath.

I didn't even get to see them make out.

Bad idea.

Short cut..

This is so thrilling.

It's like adventure.

It should be right here.

I still have so much to do, and you're dragging me up.
The party stars at 2 hours.

There's no way i'm taking a shower with that pervert,
i'll be quick.

Dwayne!
-Yes sir.

I have to help Miss Shorbin pick up an outfit.

She needs a man's touch.

Don't we all?

Be careful with that, please.
And move that fucking tree!

Aren't you a little old to be playing
hide and seek?

Ha ha.. Very funny.

What did you do?
Bite the head off something?

Oh God.

Shit!

Stop it, Hugh!
You're not wearing this dress, it's for Kate.

I'm tired of being naked.

Please, i'm begging you.

I told you this was a good shortcut.

Ladies, you go work your magic..

And tell him your Vincy Wincy is on his way.
-Okay.

Hurry up, let's go chop-chop,
let's get it.

Thank you, thank you,
whoa!

Where are you going?

I'm with the ladies, they put me on the list.

I don't think so.
-Just now.

They did tell me they expect a Vincy Wincy though..

But not a little sneaky snake named Ben.

If i see you again, i'm calling the cops.

You got that.

White people get locked up too.

Please hurry, if Fields finds out i left,
he's gonna kill me.

For once, can you think of someone
other than your paycheck?

Hey.
-Hey.

Look who i found.

Feathers, nice..

Pants will be better.

How the hell did i become a naked man trying to escape?

I've begun questioning many things myself.

Cheers.
-Thanks.

Crazy bitches.

Here, don't you dare leave without me.

Hurry up please.
-I will.

Ladies..

I'm out of here.

No no..

You promised to take us to that party.

And that's exactly what you're gonna do.

You know what, i think Vince has some clothes,
why don't you go in there and find some of his?

I'll help you.

You know what? I'm gonna get a shower, okay?
-Okay.

Oh shit.

Shit! Shit!

Hey Mattie, it's me Kitty Kate.

Gaby, i'm dying!

Who the hell are you and
why are you drinking my beer?

You must be the perv.

Cameron..
-I'm in the shower.

Mind if i come in?

So, change of plans.
I'm in the Hamptons.

And i would love to see you.

Please hurry, if i don't get to the party..

Field's going to castrate me.

You're going to the party?

Honey, i am the party.

Man buddy, you gotta get me in.
I will do anything.

Almost anything.

No.

Gaby, come on!
I'm dying!

Owen?

Ben?

What are you doing up there?

Looking for a cellphone service.

Help me, dude.

Gaby, it's time to go.

Gaby, i'm getting old waiting for you.

Make love to me.
-What?

Owen?

Come on, baby.

Those are couture.
-Yeah, talk to me.

Owen, is that you?

Look at these fancy socks.

Oh yeah baby..
-Oh yeah.

Call me mommy.

Call me mommy, oh yes
call me mommy!

Oh yeah..
-Okay, mommy..

Ow ow, you're hurting me.

Yeah.
-Ow ow ow..

You're hurting my..

You like it rough?

No, i don't like it rough.

Come on, baby.

Hey, here you go.

Where are you going?
-Kate!

Where are you going?
-Owen, where are you?

I can't do this.-
What's the matter?

Shit! Owen!

Owen..

Yeah.

Excuse me.
-No!

You're like a man possesed!

Benny?
-Gaby?

What are you doing here?

What do you mean?

I'm so sorry for you.

Owen!

Oh no!
-Ben, it's not what it looks like.

Owen, i'm ready.
Wait!

Before you lie, i'd like to remind you
that i'm here..

And mr, naked fruitypants is right in front of me.

Ben, ben, wait!

Ben, wait talk to me!

About what, Kate?
Your slutty blackberry messages or your..

Gucci dress that's not yours..

Your homosexual..
No, i'm sorry..

Bixesual fling?
Which one?

I'm disappointed in you.

Ben! hey buddy, wait up!

Slow down!

Get out, get out of my house!

Get out, what are you doing?
-Okay!

Where are you going?
-To Field's.

I'll close Cooney myself.

How are you gonna get in?
-With a little novelty called the truth.

Would you please put a shirt on?

I hate you! Get out!

Have you seen Owen?

You're phony french phony!

Your lifestylist is upstairs..

Having an identity crisis with my best friend's fiance.

Okay, okay!

I don't believe this,
this doesn't make sense.

I swear to God, i'm gonna kick his puffy ass.

You better be sure.

Stop, get up!

Get your boy jewels off me!

It touched me!

Who the hell is that?

You travel with your own boy toy?

Who is he?

We weren't boinking,
we were hiding.

Between his cheeks?

I'm not into boys.

Not that young anyway,
Gaby i wasn't with him, you know that.

Yeah right, cause you're in there with that skinny bitch.

Yeah, so?

So what are you doing with her
when you are with me?

It's just business!

Christ, hear me!

You're really hurting me!

You're.. Ow!

That really hurts!

That was a bitchslapping.

Get out of my house.

What?
-You heard me, out!

What's your problem?

If it wasn't for you and your moronic open relationship..

I wouldn't come down here
and safe your sorry ass..

And stumble upon that slut and those condoms.

Which force me to have an affair.

With a gay man.

So now, i'm the one who's being blamed for having an affair
when it's really Ben who's been cheating.

So Ben breaks up with me,
and said it's my fault.

But it's all your fault.

It is not my fault your boyfriend is banging some Rio bimbo.

Get out of my house,
i never want to see you again.

Where are you going? I need you.
-I'm out of here, i'm leaving.

Please, you have to tell Ben that nothing happened.
Please.

Are you crazy? I quit.

Expect my bill in the mail.

Fine, Quit but please talk to Ben and
tell him nothing happened, please.

Where the hell is my car? Gaby, damn it!

My life is falling apart, and all anyone care about is this stupid girl.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

Pardon me.

I hope i'm not interupting anything.

You're..

Emma Cooney.

Oh my God, i'm sorry.

It's such a pleasure to meet you.

Ben will be so pleased that you're here.
-There he is.

Ben!

Emma!

Hi!

Ben?

Come in, come in..

Welcome.

So glad you can come,
isn't this nice?

I assume that you've already met my lovely wife..

Right here.
-Your wife?

No..

But you two..

Don't be silly, he's teasing..

No, i'm Cameron..

I'm Vince's wife.

You're Vince?

You look nothing like how i'd imagine you
from your e-mails.

But who looks like their e-mails?

True..
-Nobody.

Nobody.

I hate to be a bother,
i just thought i'd..

Take Ben up on his..

Kind offer of a pre-gala libation.

You like mojitos?
-I don't know.

Let's discover now, please..

I don't want to be Vince.

Tough, you owe Ben this much.

I don't owe him anything.

You know what? I owe you a ball straight,
so if you ever want to collect.

You got 15 seconds.

You probably heard a tons of crazy stories today..

But i'm gonna go a little different direction,
a little honesty.

I'm not on the guestlist.

I don't even like parties,
i don't want to be here..

I just need to talk to Emma Cooney.

You know Emma Cooney?

Yeah.

Ben Roberts.

Ben Roberts?

I know Ben Roberts.
-What?

You're not him, you're just a sneaky snake trying to get into this party.

I'm not a sneaky snake.
-Yes you are.

But guess what,
i got something for you.

Fellas.

Get him!

I love froggy the detective,
it was so..

Moving.

So, is your wife here Ben?
I'd love to meet her,

Wife? No we're not married.

They're not even engaged.

Kate's upstairs.

Look, there's Kate right now.

You are here.

Kate, meet Emma Cooney, the author.

Nice to meet you, Kate.

Lovely home you have here.

Thank you.

I thought it felt a bit gouched..

Austintatious, new Vouge rich..

No, i think it'll be lovely when it's finished.

Do you think so?
I don't know.

Katy.

Vince.

Drink up, Kate.

You've got to be kidding me.

So, Emma..

Ben?

Ben..

Look who it is. It's..

Owen.

Yes, Owen.

Our interior designer.

He prefers lifestyler.

Whatever.
-It doesn't matter.

Owen Manners?

What are you doing here?
Aren't you the wonderkid who's in charge of tonight's ball?

Not for long.

What the hell is going on?

What are you guys doing?

Who the fuck..

Oh my God.. No way.

Excuse us..

Owen insists we go to the party.
-That's awesome.

Kate, what is she doing here?

Pay attention, Owen is Vince..

Vince is you, I'm Cameron,
Cameron is me, go with it.

What? Why?

Because it's the only truth that'll make it work.

Wait.

If Owen is Vince,
and Vince is me..

Does that mean that i'm..

Yup.

Do you want this Magical princess book or not?

Go.

Oh my God.

Oh my God Emma Cooney,
i'm such a big fan of yours.

I's so nice to meet you.
Give me your hands.

I'm Owen.

I'm so sorry, it went down the wrong..

Hole.

Let me get that for you.
Wait.

There you go.
You look beautiful.

Really big fans.

We're huge fans.
-Right. Kate?

Yes! Big fans!

I'll get it.

It's probably for me.

Hello?

Who?

Hugh? What?

How would i know if Hugh is banging cougars or not?

It doesn't make any sense.

Wrong number.

Perhaps i should be going.

Absolutely not, you can't go.
You should be sitting, you should be sitting down.

I think i will join you, i'm just gonna go upstairs and freshen up.

Please sit.
Come on.

Come on.
-No?

Chips?

So Emma, how's your new E-book?
Any popups in it?

Idiot.
-I'm so sorry.

So sorry. Ben, you publish electronic books, not porn.

And we got spam blockers for the pop-ups.

The children will be safe.

Hey, where are you going?

To make up for lost times.

Hey, why did you come down here
and spy on me anyway?

You know the rules.

Maybe i cam down here to have a little fun myself.

Did you ever think about that?

That's what the phonecall was?

And the naked kid in the bedroom?

I'm gonna make sharkbait
out of your jailbait.

Owen was telling the truth.

You came down here to rob the cradle, Mrs Robinson?

Cammie, come on.
-Go away!

You have a dog?

Neighbor's.

I'm sorry.

Stop.

Fucking dog.

Shut up!

I have a labradoodle.

I named him Snoodle.

Sshh.. Quiet.

Motherfu...

Christ's sake!
-Beg your pardon?

Neighbor's dog's name.

is Christsake..

Very religious.

All we hear all day long is
Here, Christsake.

Good, Christsake.
Come here, Christsake!

Nice name, Christsake.

God..

No no..

No, stop.

Whoa!
-Oh my god, christsake!

Where?

I just love my wife, Cameron.

That's lovely.

No!

No means no!

No!

Darling, little tiny darling.
Can we talk outside for a second?

If you insist.

I love you.

She's a pistol.

She's a pistol.

Yup, that's..

She doesn't like children.

I do.

Just because you've been servicing the queen,
doesn't mean you have to advertise it.

I'm not having an affair with Owen.

God, even your lies have lies.

Our lies are honest.
-So why are you pretending to be me?

there was this prick security guard..

I didn't want Cooney to think i.. We..
We were stalking.

I was winging it.

What an idiot.

Look who's preaching from the pulpit,
little miss shopping code of conduct.

There's a code, what code?

Shut up, Mr threeway!

No, have you no shame!

For christsake.

He's not in here, dear.

Stop it.

After tonight we can all just flip each other off..

And go our merryways.

But sitting out there is the only way to save your..

Hanging by a thread business,
so i suggest..

We all just suck it up..

Put on your best phony faces..

And lay the bullshit on that.

Fine.

Emma, what's the book about?

I'll get it.
I get it.

Hey.
-It's the cutie..

What are you doing here?
-I just love your dog.

What is his name?

Christsake!

Sorry, i was just asking.

Why don't you guys at the party?
It's already started.

Come on.

Yeah, you're missing a lot of good stuff.
Just head back.

Yeah, good idea.
-I forgot my weed.

Did she just say weed?

No..

We.. like the video game thing.

They love games.

Ladies, can you come back later?

Cause they need the party and whatever you do..

Oh my God!

No no..

Ladies, ladies, i'm begging you.

Ladies, not now!

What the fuck..

The naked man..

Best room service.

Who the fuck are you?

Someone's angry.

You, crazy naked man.
Get out of here!

Get out of here now!

I'm gonna kill you!
-I swear, i didn't know she was married.

Get off me!

Sounds like an active game.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go..

Check on the game real quick.

Hey Vincy!

What is this, Burning Man?

He must have escaped from hospital.

Help me throw this guy off the balcony right now.

Grab!
-You!

I'll just see for myself.

Oh my God!

Help! They're doing things to me!

Oh My God!
-Oh my God!

Damn it.
-Oh my!

Miss Cooney!

Take this pill.

I'm appauled.
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Coming ladies?
-Yes.

Get in, get in.

No, no..
You're not getting in.

Let me just squeeze in.

Shit!

Damn it!

New plan.

Stick a fork in it.

It's done.

2004.

Greates comeback in sport's history,
Redsox down 3-0..

3 outs from World Series Elimination,
facing Mariana Libera..

Baseball's greatest closure,
did they quit?

Hell no!

As if things aren't bad enough..

Now you're plugging the Redsox?

That's not the point.

It's done!

I just lost everything, Vince.

Fine, you stay here quitter.

I'm gonna go do what i do.

Do what you do?
Let me tell you what you do.

You sell bullshit.

You are a bullshit salesman.

You swore to me that E-publishing was the future..

Paperless books, there's green in going green.

Where's the green, Vince?

At least i'm not afraid to try.

You put your whole life on hold.

You're just waiting for something to happen,
and it's passing you by, my friend.

That's no bullshit.

We're ready.
-Vinny, let's go go go.

Ready to go to this party, ladies?

They have house made entirely out of chocolate.

Where's Owen?

He left to select the Brazillian gir's ensemble.

Says she needs a man's touch.

Who doesn't.

Where's Cooney?
-She left.

Motherfucker!

Isn't anyone gonna be at my party?

This is your fault.

Once they're in,
they don't get out. Understood?

Yes sir.
-Unless i throw them out.

Hey, woah woah..

Stop, hey guys..

You want a ride with us?

YEs!

Are we negotiating?
-I can't get you in, Dwayne knows what you look like.

We got that covered, i just need you to help out for my friends here.

Whatever, fine.

Here's to be single,
seeing doubles..

And sleeping triple.

I'm Duncan.
ANd you are?

How old are you?

Old enough.

Man, things people do to get into a party, go.

Don't let them play hard to get.

Matt, it's me Kate.

I'm here at the party, surprise.

Where are you? Call me, i'm here, bye!

Sorry, excuse me.

Vince is not the only one who can crash the party.

Welcome to the Dolce Vita Ball.

The night belongs to you,
please enjoy it..

Irresponsibly!

Hey, fucking idiot.
You're gonna get killed out here.

Sorry, my bad!

Wow, Vince..

If this is the new you, i do not want to see you
going through my closet.

Yeah yeah.

And..

We need to talk about those 10 rules.

What about them?

They're too many.

Attention, come on you free loaders!

I will close this open bar..

That got your attention.

I am a man of few words.

Most of those have 4 letters.

Actually, i moved up to 7.

Fuck you.

It's not everyday that a fella gets to see
his boy become a man.

Don't worry, it's not a surprise Barmitzvah.

Tonight is my pride and joy's 18th birhtday.

So belly up to the bar
and join me in a toast..

To..

Move your asses people!

Watch it!

What the hell?

Get off, get off me.

This is one hell of a coming out party.

Look at you.

He's got a fucking dress.

Excuse me, excuse me.

That's my boy.

Let's the fireworks begin!

Mambo!

You know you make me very proud, son.

If you need someone to talk to..

You should have come to me.

That lipstick's shade is all wrong on you.

For Christsake..

Oh my God.

It's Benny Bunny.

Skinny dipping!

It's about to make perfect unity..
-I need your help.

I'll talk to you in a second.

Get away from me!

You gotta distract Fields,
so i can talk to Emma.

Has your tong cut the circulation to your brain?

We negotiated, i got you in..

I'm done, get away.

I don't know why you take such immediate dislike to me.

Save time..

If you don't distract Fields..

Even if it means taking one for the team,
i'm gonna out you for the phony homo that you are.

Oh no.

Bartender, we need something special for this beautiful lady.

What do you like?
Cosmo?

Mercedes, yatch?

How about my watch?

Eduardo, throw me another Robusto.

Sure, Mr Jeffery.

Owen..

Magnificent job.

I'm so glad you're thrilled.

Thrilled? I'd poop myself.

He's so silly.

If you like what i've done here..

Just think what i'd do with your
New Year's eve bash.

If the position is still open.

The position is open.

One of many positions i have in mind for you.

Mr Fields, thank you so much.

You won't be disappointed,
i promise.

It's strong..

Thank you..

Owen?

It's true, you are in love with Jeffery Fields.

Are you?

He told me but i didn't believe him.

To think i was a week away from the operation, bitch!

I can explain.
-No.

You're letting your true feelings
bubble to the surface.

No..
-No..

Demure doesn't become you.

Let's take a walk.

A break, fellas.

Excuse us,
date with destiny.

Would you like a 16 Stogey?

Can you handle my things to you?

Cigars, senorita.

Don't tempt me.

I haven't been honest with you.

You will thank me for this in 7 minutes.

So, you pretended to be your partner..

Who pretended to be Owen.
-Yeah.

Who pretends to be gay.
-Yeah.

You lost your wife..
-Yeah.

Ben lost his fiance, all because you want to publish my book?

Yeah, we area really big fans.

I'm sorry Vince, but i signed with Fields.

Just before i arrived,
i only drop by to tell you..

In person, because i thought it's the right thing to do.

Fields, he has multimillion dollars deals in play.

We were talking happy meals..

You left your old publisher because you were against all of that comercialness.

Stop being so bloody naive.

I don't mind being exploited,
if i'm making money.

And why should i be freezing my ass off in Sussex..

When i could tan it in Marbella?

Keep doing it for the love.

Are you gay?
-No.

Pretending to be gay?
-No.

Bisexual?

Never have the Bi yet.

Vince, did you close Cooney yet?
Please say yes..

She sold out faster than the Ipad.
-No..

She wants theme park rides
and soft drinks..

Probably hocking an infomercial right now.
-No..

- No Vince, that's not okay.
- I know.

Stop..
Oh no, oh shit.

- We have a breach.
- I got to go.

What?

Oh my god..
Oh.

Oh that's not good.
That is not good.

Oh I didn't do that.
Okay, cool.

- No.. Ah. Ah.
- Uh..

Look at you.
- Thank you.

No, No if I could just..

Oh God..
Oh..

Oh.. You smell like apricots.

Just relax and do it.

And vice versa.
- I..

Help, Mr Fields..

That's my security ring.

Hello..

Are you busy?

Kinda busy.

We have a security breach.

Kate. Shh.. shh..

Security is looking for me Kate.

- Out of the bush.
- Be quiet.

Why are you in Hamptons?
I'm serious, tell me the truth right now.

Because like an idiot I thought I could safe Cameron from herself.

- What?
- Ben, look at me.

I'm not cheating on you.

But..
- But what Kate?

Who's XL condoms are in the bedroom?

You of all people now that I don't wear XL condoms.

- Right.
- So what the hell's going on?

We are way to sober to figure this out, can we go get a drink?

- You take care of it?
- No sir Mr.Fields.

If I am copulating I do not wish to be disturbed.

Okay, I apologize sir.
Okay.

Fuck!

Two mojitos please.

Cool party huh?

Yeah, it's getting better.

Got to get much better.

Kitty Kate, how great?

Kitty Kate?

Wait, I'm sorry.
You two guys know each other?

She was my high school prom date,
We were just laughing about it this morning.

You have breakfast with her?

You've already hooked up with the brazilian bimbo?

I'm not a bimbo chikita, I'm a professional.

- Oh there is no doubt you're a..
- Bitch!

- Get off me. What the hell?
- Wow.. wow..

Stop!
- Let go of my hand..

- Please..
- Ow..
- Get off me..
-Come on..

- What the hell?
- I knew you were fucked up beyond believe.

Gaby..

Who the hell is this guy?

I'm Matt, Who are y..

Are you Ben?

- The pole vaulter?
- I can explain everything.

Do still have feelings for him Kate?
- No.

Ben you ask me for a 3-way.

And you want one with him?
- No.

But i would like someone to listen.

Well why don't you just talk to me, Kate?

- I'm gonna give you guys a minute.
- Great idea.

I do know one thing.

If a girl buys an expensive dress and doesn't wear it for her man..

That's the most expensive mistake of her life.

Here, before you choose..

Which life's path your gonna follow tonight..

I'm gonna give you something to remember.

And based on life's experience..

Trust me it'll have a profound life altering affect.

Wait, you're not married are you?

Before we....

You know..

My lady, I am not who you think I am.

And I think you're masquerading as twikle toes' lifestylist Owen Manners.

When in reality you're the Hampton's notorious seducing all the deperate housewives.

All their husbands don't have a clue.

I am who you think I am.

Am I who you think I am?

Hey..

Hey..
- I know you.

Yeah you're that polevaulter.

- You're Kate's friend aren't you?
- Yes I am.

- Want a shot?
- Yeah.

It's good..

Where is yours?

Hey..

Ah thank you very much..
Bottom's up, mister.

There you are.. Where have you been?
- Hi ladies..

We missed you.

Want to see a surprise?
-Yeah.

That's okay..

It happens to old guys like all the time.

We won't tell anyone, don't worry.

Now we can take care of each other.

You can watch.

It will be pay per view only free.

- Poor thing.
- Yeah..

I have been so stupid.

No, I've been stupid.

I have not been making very good decisions lately.

God..

Can you believe that I came out here to hook up with Hugh?

Didn't know whether I should hump him or burp him.

And worst of all..

I have hurt the person that I care most about.

Vince will understand.

I'm talking about you.

Well, I nearly made the same mistake with Matt.

I mean at least you had fun with him, right?

Oh my God.

Kate, I did not sleep with Matt, he's your ex.

There is a girl code.

It is small but it does exist.

We just stayed up talking all night.

- You're right he's a very good listener.
- That's good, yeah.

Vince ran off with the doinks sisters.

Ben left with Gaby.

I've been..

I've been thinking our..

Arrangement.

Yeah, you uhm..

You wanna..

Divorce?

No.

I mean our rules.

You mean.. Your rules.

The thought of you with another man makes me crazy.

Yeah, I didn't really like it myself.

I love you.

I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose you.

Look..

I've been carrying this for a while, i should've done this a long time ago.

Guys..

I'm just gonna go get my things and go to manhattan.

cameron, i don't want to see Ben.
Will you come with me?

- Of course.
- Okay.

- Yes, yes Gaby. God,you're so good.
- Oh yes?

I'm so happy.

This is brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
I'm serious.

What's it about?

Sex in the Hamptons.

Sleeping around.

Yeah, it's all everybody thinks about all day long.

That's my life story.

- Was.
- Who needs Emma Cooney..

We got our own best seller right here.

Oh yeah, everybody is gonna read this.

Read what?

Gaby's book.

She is a writer.

Yes.

Like John Gris-ham.

Yeah.

Oh.. That's nice.

Owen?

Oh for christ sake.

I hope you've had your shots.

I was thinking, a cheatau over looking the mediteranian in St Tropez.

I hereby declare my Dolce Vita ball officially finished.

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