All language subtitles for The.Goldbergs.S10E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[adult Adam] Back in the '80s,
yuppies were everywhere.

They played douchey sports.
They called their brokers.

And, of course, they ate sushi.

And nobody wanted to be one
more than my brother Barry.

Ugh! This is made from grapes?

[grunts]
How do you win at this?

Now everyone will know
I have class and money.

[adult Adam] And the yuppie
trapping he coveted most?

-[horn honks]
-The oh-so-sweet cars.

Jealous JTP!

[together] Jealous JTP!

Matt Bradley, are you
so enraged with envy
that you cannot speak?

Happy for you, Big Tasty.
Just not jealous.

For me, wealth is measured
in experiences and--

Ha ha! Hilarious! I like you.

Where'd you get
that sweet ride, Bar?
You a hotel valet now?

Close but way off, Naked Rob.

My intimate
bedroom friend, Joanne,

just landed
a sweet associate job
at this big law firm.

And one of the perks
is a company car.

Congrats, Joanne.
What's the job?

Epstein Dybner Finkelman,
motherbrothers!

EDF?

They sued that teacher
in a wheelchair,
and they won her van!

Their TV commercial is so cool!

Who knew the legal team
behind big business
would be three old white guys?

My dad said
if he'd gotten hired there,

our life would have been
so much better.

Like-- Like fix-my-foot better.

I'm really doing it.

But despite my full embrace
of the role of sugar child
to my sugar mama, don't worry.

-I will still be your friend.
-What is happening?

My lady got a high-paying job,
creating an uncomfortable
wealth gap between us.

How can I make it any clearer?

Now when we watch
Lifestyles of the Rich
and Famous,

Barry gets it
at a whole new level.

They're just people,
like you and me.

-Yeah.
-But none of you.

I've been thinking about
being really rich, too.

-Ah, you won't. Face it.
-Aww. Hmm.

The disparity
in our social classes
is the elephant in the zoo.

But to reassure you
I won't leave
the three of you behind...

-There's four of us.
-And where's the elephant?

...I brought you a gift.

Leftovers from
our upscale lunch.

It's sushi.

It's disgusting.
I had 36 pieces.

Now go ahead, lowborn JTP,

sample what you
will never sample again.

-So fishy and chewy!
-The rice masks nothing!

It's like that time at the lake
when the minnow
swam in my mouth!

I taste the ocean's anger!

All of this is cured by wasabi.

-That's the green goo
in the corner of the box.
-Mm! My head is fire!

-Oh, mercy! Make it stop!
-Why?

Ohh! I need more fish
in my mouth!

[all screaming]

** I'm twisted up inside **

** But nonetheless
I feel the need to say **

** I don't know the future **

** But the past keeps getting
Clearer every day **

[adult Adam]
It was October 5th,
1980-something,

and I had landed a job
on a real movie set
right here in Philadelphia.

Yeah, I had a girlfriend.
Brea. She went to Brown.

I see that look on your face,
but she was totally real.

Anyway, with my dad's passing
and my sister having a baby,

I opted to not go to NYU.

Now here I am, about to clock
in at the ol' Dream Factory!

Here's your post.

It looks like a folding chair

facing away
from all the action.

Bingo.

Not to toot my own horn,

but I once should have won

a film festival
at my high school.

In that case, you wanna direct
the car chase tomorrow?

Please and thank you!

I'll need 50 Matchbox cars
to show the stunt coordinator

exactly what my vision is.

I'm messing with you,
Spielberg.

Just make sure
no one steps in that hole.

But isn't that the cone's job?

You're a quick study.
Cone's in good hands.

Also, don't sit.

But there's a chair.

Yeah, it was doing your job

before you got here

with all your dreams.

[adult Adam]
And believe it or not,
it only got worse from there.

[whimsical music playing]

Oh!

Ohh!

...ninety-nine...

and... 100.

Let's go for a thousand.

And that's when I decided

not to go to NYU.

One of the toughest decisions
of my life.

Hey, you guys!

Electric Company? Anyone?

What was that? Sorry.

I thought you said something.

I haven't talked to anyone

but this cone all day!

[adult Adam] Yep, turns out
my first entertainment job

wasn't very entertaining.

That was until
a special guest star arrived.

-Smile!
-Gah!

Oh! There's my little
Hollywood superstar

on the first
of many major motion pictures!

[gasps] All dedicated to me!

Oh, good, it's my mom

definitely coming
to make everything better.

I brought you soup.

They have food here, Mom.

At least I think they do.

I'm not allowed in that tent.

I don't want to interrupt
your life's work,

so I'm just gonna
get out of your hair

and go around introducing
myself to everybody.

Absolutely not!

Everybody's gonna know
you came from my body!

Ooh, there's a guy
with a megaphone.

Maybe he'll let me use it.

-Hey!
-Damn it!

I can't leave my cone!

[adult Adam] As my job
couldn't get any worse...

Ohh!

...everything
about Joanne's job

seemed like it couldn't get
any better.

Mazel tov, Jo Jo Bear.

Yeah!

Such an impressive
accomplishment.

-Thanks, Daddy.
-Epstein Dybner Finkelman.

They're litigious monsters.

They bankrupted
that children's charity.

I'm so proud.

Proud enough to serve up your
celebratory quiche right now?

'Cause Baby and Mama
have a need to feed.

Quiche is gross,

but it's the kind of fancy food

I should get used to

now that my lady's
raking it in.

I'm doing okay, I guess.

Oh, please.

You should see
Joanne's swanky office.

So many books.

She even has an assistant.

Mrs. Thompson.

But I hilariously
call her "Mrs. Thomas"

after the famous
English muffins.

I'm guessing no one
really heard about
my desire for wet eggs.

I can now safely admit

that there were times
when we thought
of Jo Jo as, well...

-somewhat of a [bleep].
-Whoa!

Sorry. It's just that
she was so flighty

and never saw anything through.

Well, that's all
in the past now.

Seriously, my baby
is super hangry.
Quiche us, Linda.

What about when Joanne
wanted to become a writer?

That word processor
never made it out of the box!

-We became writers
of so many checks.
-Mm-hmm.

Sure. Coupl'a up-and-backs.

Okay. I'm just
gonna go right in.

Remember when she was going to
major in veterinary medicine?

-Mm!
-[Lou] Do I?

Day One: "Hello, Daddy?

"Today I saw a sheep
with a nosebleed! I'm out!"

-[laughter]
-Sheep are just like us.

Come on.
Joanne's had her moments.

Now that you're not
a financial anchor,

we get to spend
our golden years in this house

instead of a retirement home
where orderlies do stuff to us.

The stakes were much higher
than any of us knew.

-So proud.
-So proud.

Thanks, Mom and Dad.

-[laughter]
-[glasses clink]

Are there bigger plates?

[adult Adam] Yep,
Joanne had finally

found something
she could stick with.

Or so she thought.

That's a lot of trees.
[chuckles]

Don't worry. We represent
a client suing the EPA.

We can kill
as many trees as we want.

-Pbht! High five!
-Oh.

Um, off of that, are we also
sometimes on the side of good?

I'm somewhere in between
not understanding your question
and not really caring about it.

High five.

[percussive music playing]

[adult Adam] While Joanne
was feeling out of touch
at her job,

my job was making me
long for a sympathetic ear.

[gasps] There's
my Francis Ford Schmoopola!

Home so soon?
Why aren't you at Studio 54
with one of the Coreys?

No Coreys.

But I do have one new friend,
an orange cone!

My job is so dull!

I can't begin to tell you
all the things
that didn't happen.

Then let's not force it.

You always have a soft landing
right here in Mama's lap.

As impossibly weird
as that offer
is to your adult son,

there is somebody
I'd like to talk to.

[dial tone]

[dialing]

So many beeps!

You better not
be dialing Brea Bee.

Why not? I had a lousy day.

And up until a few weeks ago,
she was my girlfriend.

Because you're gonna
come across as sad and needy

while she struts across
her Ivy League campus.

But right now,
I just need someone to talk to
that's not you.

Heart shattered
into a million pieces.

But, you know, there is
another option: Pop-Pop.

He's a great listener.

Pop-Pop,
wanna hear about my day?

I vaguely heard my name,
and I didn't like it.

Good luck with whatever
it is you do and are.

And decision made.

[dialing]

[ringing]

-Brea?
-Adam? Hi!

What's going on?

Ready on the set!

And... action!

Uh, apparently,
I'm still at work,
which I forgot to mention.

Can you hold on a sec?

What the heck are you doing?

Rounding up to make you
sound more compelling!

And... cut!

Wow. You're really
doing the movie thing.

Yeah,
I'm as surprised as you are.

[deep voice] Hey, Adam,
it's sultry actress
Kathleen Turner.

Whoa! Kathleen Turner's
in the movie, too?

Apparently, there must
have been some recasting.

I'll be with you in a minute,
Ms. Turner!

You actually know her?
She was in Romancing the Stone!

And now this for some reason.

Adam, I really need you
to rewrite my lines.

You're the only one
who understands my voice.

-Which is super breathy
and so close to my face.
-Yeah.

Wow. Jessica Rabbit really
seems to value your input.

Yeah.
Be with you in a minute, KT!

Adam, this is
so amazing for you.

Everything's perfect.

How are you doing?

Equally good.
You know. College.

New people, parties,
instant friends.

-So you're really doing it?
-I really am.

In fact,
I kind of have to go now.
My friends are waiting on me.

-Oh, well--
-Adam, please hurry.

I don't know
if I made this clear,

but I'm movie star
Kathleen Turner.

Great catching up!
Okay. Gotta go! Bye!

I'm gonna ask you to do
something impossible,
which is...

explain yourself, lady!

[normal voice] She'll lose
interest in you

if she thinks your life
is garbage now.

But my life is garbage now.
This moment in particular!

She doesn't have to know that.

Why shouldn't she think
you're doing just as well
as she is?

You know... [scoffs]
you are so lucky

you've got such an
improvisationally gifted mama.

[laughs]

[adult Adam] While my mom's
meddling had laid me low,

Barry was living high
on the hog of Joanne's job.

How ya livin',
Nooks and Crannies?

Barry Goldberg to see
Joanne Schwartz.

Sure. My name kinda sounds like
a breakfast treat. Got it.

[chuckles]
There's my working girl!

How's your day?
But first answer this--

Did you snag the firm's
Phillies tickets for tonight?

-Oh, I forgot.
-Not a problem.

But we should get there early,

in case anyone
wants me to pitch.

Sorry, Bar.
I don't think I can go.

I-I still have so much
more work to do.

Is your work more important

than a late-season matchup
between two teams

already eliminated
from playoff contention?

Thing is, I-I'm just not sure
this job is everything
I hoped it would be.

Did you find out that they also
don't have Flyers tickets?

It's just
a lot more work, and...

Remember when I wanted
to be a public defender?

Ah!

I see what's happening here.

Oh. You do?

And I know exactly
what you need.

Oh. Phew. I was so afraid to--

An epic Big Tasty pep talk.

-Jo Jo...
-Mm-hmm.

...owner of the lips
which whisper my name,

you have to find a way
to dig deep.

That's one way to go, I guess.

Nose to the grindstone.
Elbow grease.

Head down. Best foot forward.

-All body parts
doing their thing.
-[chuckles]

And I promise,
you'll get there.

That's certainly what I want.

Boom! See you tomorrow morning
when you come home to change.

[adult Adam] Joanne had
started to feel her new job
might not be right for her,

but she needed
a voice of experience
just to be sure.

Hey, Jo.
If you're looking for Barry,
he went loafer shopping.

Actually, I wanted
to talk to Erica.

That's me. What's up?

You're someone who's quit
a lot of things in her life.

Oh, I don't think that's fair.

Geoff, I am who I am,
it's fine. What's the issue?

Did you ever think
about quitting something,
but you weren't sure you could?

You came to the right place.

Let me tell you
something about quitting.
It's harder than it looks.

I know, right?

I can only imagine
what my parents
are going to say.

Yeah, you gotta tune that out.

A good quitter
filters out the noise.

But maybe if I just
hang in there--

Bup-bup-bup. Do not talk
yourself out of quitting.

Believe me,
there were plenty of times

that I felt like
giving up on quitting.

But I persevered.

Your tone feels right,
but the words are so wrong.

You're saying
if I think I want to quit,
don't give up and not quit?

A true quitter
never doesn't quit.

But I have
only been there a week.

Well, you know what they say.

"If at first you don't succeed,
pack it in, move on."

They say the exact opposite!

Look, I've been in your shoes.

The road ahead looks tough,
and you're not sure
if you can make it.

-I'm really not.
-But you got to
ask yourself something:

Am I gonna quit this job
or am I gonna quit quitting?

If I don't quit,

I'll never know
what would have happened
if I did quit.

Attagirl! Now you march
back into that office
with your head held high

and you box up your stuff!

Thank you, Erica.

You have given me the strength
to not keep going.

No one ever said
that taking the easy way out
is easy,

but nothing worth doing
is hard.

-Now go!
-Oh!

Okay, as someone who's going
to raise a child with you,

I have some
very serious concerns.

Come on.
I turned out all right.

And Joanne will, too. Probably.

And speaking of not quitting,
get the lotion.
You're not done yet.

[adult Adam] While Erica
had helped Joanne
find some direction...

Thank you.

...nothing
could have prepared me

for the direction my evening
was about to take.

'Sup, Goldnerd?

Hey, guy whose name I forget.

[Adam] Johnny and Carla?

Surprise!

[chuckles] Oh, that call
to your ex-girlfriend
was clearly a cry for help.

Mama heard her lonely boy
and came up with a plan.

You are gonna have adventures
right here at home.

You're a townie now.

Townie, please.

I'm merely a temporary local
with eyes set on the big city.

Nonsense. You're just
as untethered
and lost as these two.

[chuckling] Yeah, we are.

We're gonna show you
the local nightlife.

Jenkintown after dark.

I have previous plans
with Pop-Pop.

Damn right he does. Now you get
those geisha hands over here.

I'll get my coat.

[adult Adam] I wasn't excited
to sample Jenkintown nightlife,

but it was actually kinda fun.

We had drinks...

-Whiskey sour.
-Shot and a beer.

Walk me through your
virgin margarita flavors.

...we got shoes...

-Size 8.
-11.

Lady's 7.5.

...and we bowled.

That's, uh... zero for me.

For a total of nine.
Great game, guys.

Should we go home?

But from there,
the rest of the night
was not exactly up my alley.

-Trish! Over here!
-Ooh! Ooh-hoo!

-Trish?
-Ooh-hoo! Hey, guys!

Sorry. My sitter flaked.

Adam Goldnerd,
meet Trish... something.

Pleased to meet you, ma'am.

-[chuckles]
-Who's this young fella?

Ethan. Say hello to Adam.

-Can I call him "Dad"?
-Sure.

-What?
-Can you teach me
how to bowl, new Dad?

Sure can.

Oh, what an
impossible-to-answer question.

Carla, is Trish
a friend of yours?

She crashed into my car.
We kept in touch.

We figured she's single,
you're single.

Maybe through loneliness,
you can make some
bad decisions together.

Well, you seem like
a lovely lady, Trish,

and certainly nobody's asking,
"Is she too young for him?"

Trish? What the hell?

And who might this imposing,
irate gentleman be?

Who are you, lame-ass?

This is none of
your business, Wyatt!

You and I
aren't a thing anymore.

To be clear,
we're not a thing either.

I'm just a very new
and very minor friend of Trish.

He's going to take me fishing

and be there
when he says he will!

I never agreed to that!

You know what?
I'm gonna end you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Guys! Take it easy.

I'll hold your glasses
while he whales on you.

-Hold his shirt, too.
-My shirt?

You got this, new Dad!

Thanks for your confidence,
Ethan!

It's time for everyone
to say good night to this punk!

-Oh, look!
A compelling distraction!
-Where?

[Adam] Thanks for
the memorable night!

[adult Adam] I was done
with Jenkintown after dark.

But things were about to get
pretty dark for Barry, too.

Hey, Round Toast!

I need the firm
to get me tickets

to WrestleMania
at the Spectrum.

Get out.

As in "Get out of town,
I'm a wresting fan, too"?

It isn't. Get out.

[adult Adam] Turns out,
Barry's yuppie lifestyle
was coming to an end.

Declined? How could that be?

Are you telling me
I have to pay
for 19 volcano rolls

out of my own Velcro'd wallet?

Wait! Cease!
Do you know who I am?

I'm the boyfriend of someone
who just started working

for the firm
that leased this car!

[grunts]

Joanne,
we've got real problems.

The company card doesn't work,
they took back the BMW,

and Mrs. Thomas
stopped indulging
my cheeky antics!

Well, that's 'cause...
I quit my job.

What? Right before
the firm's golf outing?

I really needed
that sporty getaway.

You know what, Barry?

I could have expected the job
to let me down.

I didn't think you would, too.

Oh. I don't understand.
What's happening?

What's happening
is you're a moron.

But I thought
she loved that job.

Nope. Only you did.

Did you really think
Joanne's goal in life

was to help
rich people get richer?

From your tone,
I'm guessing... no?

You've been so consumed
with all the perks,

you didn't realize
how miserable she was.

Damn it. [sighs]
I have to make this right.

[adult Adam] Barry
finally understood
what he needed to do.

And I had someone I desperately
needed to see, Brea.

One ticket
to Providence, please.

But it turned out
I didn't need a ticket
to see Brea.

[Brea] Adam?

Brea?

She had come to see me.

[laughs]

W-What are you doing here?

I thought you were so busy
and happy at college.

I... actually wasn't.

Adam, I'm having
a pretty hard time.

And then I heard
how you're thriving
in your new job--

Let me stop you right there.
My life is pretty lousy, too.

I thought you were friends
with Kathleen Turner?

That was my mom's sultry voice.

So you mean...
both our lives suck?

Totally.

[adult Adam] And so,
with neither of us
moving forward with our lives,

Brea and I decided
to move backward, together.

Brea.

Hi, Mrs. G.

I remember her.

She didn't finish her chicken
when we took her to dinner.

-Nice to see you, Pop-Pop.
-Brea, what are you doing here?

Don't you have college
in the morning?

Yeah, but, um--

She might stay for a few days.

-Or longer.
-Longer seems right.

Or even longer than longer.

[both chuckle]

How do you like that?
The girl is throwing
her life away.

Just like
she threw away that chicken.

For Adam, Ben.
So everybody wins.

Everybody who matters.

It could work.

Fine! I'll mix in!
Just shut up about it already!

[adult Adam] Joanne
was about to face

the hardest part
of quitting her job:
telling her parents.

-You quit?
-Oh, Jo Jo.
I have to take a knee.

I have to take two knees.
And two hands!

Oh, I hope
you are happy, Joanne.
You made your father table-top.

-W--
-Really, though,
is anyone surprised?

Look, I know
you guys think I'm a flake,
but it wasn't like that.

I want to be careful
not to overstate this.

You destroyed
all of our futures!

-[door closes]
-Opposite!

Barry? What are you doing here?

Setting the record straight.

For some dumb reason,
your parents think
you don't see things through.

I won't let them
make your quitting EDF
a source of shame

when it should be
a source of pride.

We should be proud that
she barely lasted a week?

No. You should be proud
that she was smart enough

to realize why she got into law
in the first place.

She wanted to help people.

["Missing You" plays]

How did I not see it?

I didn't at first, either.

She was pushing paperwork
for a soulless firm,

even though hers is the most
beautiful soul there is.

I'm sorry, Jo Jo.

I guess I just got excited
that you finally had a path.

I do have a path, Daddy.
It's just not this.

All we really care about
is that you're happy.

** I ain't missing you at all **

** Missing you, missing you **

** Since you've been
Gone away... **

And I know it's hard to believe
after the way I behaved,

but that's all
I care about, too.

You're not gonna miss
the car, the sushi,
or the Phillies tickets?

[sighing] Oh, big time.

But who knows
what the future will bring?

So, when you think
about the future,
do you think about us?

That's all I think about.

** Down this
Long-distance line tonight **

** I ain't
Missing you at all... **

[adult Adam] Barry had come
to Joanne's rescue.

Meanwhile, my mom
had someone else
she needed to save.

Hey!

Adam, Brea.
Your happiness is my happiness.

Aww!

Don't "aww" that.
She's clearly got more to say.

It breaks my heart
how much you two
miss each other,

but I think we all know
Brea can't stay.

** Missing you... **

It's just been so hard.

Brea. It gets better.
A lot better.

In fact, it should be
the best time of your life.
You deserve that.

** I ain't missing you... **

Damn it. You really do.

I'll give you guys some time.

** I keep lying to myself... **

But, Adam, what about you?

You're gonna figure it out.

And... so will I.

[adult Adam] Loving someone
means understanding

exactly what
they're going through.

If it's okay with you...

can we just sit here
for a while?

** Since you've been gone... **

As long as you're here,
I'm not going anywhere.

** I ain't missing you **

** Missing you... **

[adult Adam] And whether
it's space to grow apart

or just a helping hand
as they find their way
through life...

giving them
exactly what they need...

** I ain't missing you... **

...is the greatest gift of all.

** I ain't missing you **

** I keep lying to myself **

** Ain't missing you **

** I ain't missing you **

** I ain't missing you **

** I ain't missing you **

** I ain't missing you **

Gentlemen,
it is with a heavy heart

I inform you I am no longer
ridiculously rich.

-Wow.
-That happened fast.

-Rags to riches to rags.
-It was clear
how this was gonna end.

Which unfortunately means

I'll be
in your lives after all.

Slumming down here

in the gutter

with your cooked fish

and American cars.

Happy to have you back,
Big Tasty.

And in celebration
of our reunion,

I brought you one leftover
box of sushi to delight in.

That does not look fresh.

Nonsense!

If sliced correctly,
sushi can last for weeks.

Now gorge yourselves

on the pizza rolls
of the Samurai!

-No, thanks.
-I'm all set.

I ate bacteria earlier.

It's visually obvious
that shouldn't be eaten.

More for me I guess.

Mm.

Ugh.

Uh. I'm in really big trouble.