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THE HEART MUST PRESENT ITSELF
ALONE BEFORE NOTHINGNESS,

AND ALONE IT MUST BEAT
LOUD IN THE DARKNESS

THE BOOK OF DELIGHTS

only a stronger effect

beats a less powerful one.

As long as men
are prisoners of their emotions,

they clash with one another,

in disagreement with themselves.

But. .

our mind. .

can thus know things. .

when this kind of operation takes place.

Therefore, men can only be free

when they seize their ability to act.

That is when your CONATUS

is determined by active effects.

In closing,

existing is so extraordinary

that if the consciousness of
this existence took a few seconds more,

we would go crazy.

The solution for this absurdity
called "I exist"

is to love another being

that we do understand he exists.

Hi, Zé, there's no water.
Do you know what's going on?

The water tank is under maintenance.

I posted a sign in the elevator.

Crap.

Hey, sis.

Hi, I was on my way out.

You didn't come for Christmas.

I've been meaning to talk to you.

I can't, Davi.
I'm leaving.

There must be a lot
of mommy stuff there, right?

I don't know.

Is the apartment nice?

It's really big.

Dad said the view is great.
Can I see it?

You can come here whenever you want.

Show me now.
Turn the laptop around.

I can't, Davi.

I told you I have an appointment.

Who are you going out with?

Bye, Davi.

You are perfect, Lóri.

I need someone
who would see the obvious

as something totally extraordinary.

Hello?

Ulisses?

I can't go.

No. .

it's nothing physical.

Why did you move here?

The countryside is filled
with elementary schools.

I wanted to have more freedom.

Which is impossible back there
without making a big fuss.

My brothers are really controlling.

Yeah, I bet.

For your collection.

How did you know that I have one?

You told me.

- Sorry, we're closing.
- Thanks, Diego.

Time seems to go faster next to you.

Now that's a cliché pickup line.

Should we go to my place?

I can't.

I have an appointment.

I should've known,
you have a boyfriend.

No.

It's not that.

Good night.

I can offer you another ride.

I'd rather take a taxi.

There's a taxi stand over there.

Thank you.

LUMINESCENCE

Eat. .

look at fruits in the market. .

watch people's faces. .

love. .

hate.

To have the unknown
and feel an unbearable suffering.

"Brew coffee.

"Listen to music.

"Hold hands.

"Be right.
Be wrong.

"Yield to someone else who asserts.

"Be a woman.

"Ennoble oneself.

Laugh at the absurdity of my condition. "

"Eat.
Watch people's faces.

"Love. Hate.

"Look at fruits in the market.

"Step into the sea.

"Be right.

"Be wrong.

"Laugh at the absurdity of my condition.

"Have choice.

- "Have no. .
- Choice!"

That's it.

I want you to write your own list
in your calligraphy notebooks

with a very neat letter.

What is calligraphy?

You're writing on a calligraphy notebook.

- Me!
- Yes, Sonia.

Can I write about costumes for Carnival?

Yes. But don't focus
only on shopping.

I want you to go
beyond the material world.

Monsters?

Monsters.

Dreams.

Feelings.

You can start now.

Otto. .

have you started your list?

Good.

THE WISE MAN

Let's start over again.

Why are you here?

In an existentialist sense?

Since you're a philosopher. .

I'm here because I love this bar.

Why are you here in Brazil?

Are you intrigued by my past?

Does the great sage
never speak of himself?

Are you afraid of falling off
from your pedestal?

The first time I saw you. .

I already knew I would like you.

Remember?

I remember.

You hardly let me speak.

But then I soon realized

that you have a soul overshadowed

by dense smoke. .

Hard to clean.

You think you know everything.

Sorry, I'm a professor.

The day I lose my own worth,
I'm screwed.

To stay strong. .

I have no sense of shame,

unlike you.

But you still won't talk about your past.

I wonder why.

Maybe. .

I don't have one?
I don't know.

I was raised by my grandparents.

I came here as a visiting professor
and never went back.

You look like a man from last century.

You remind me of my father.

I might be old-fashioned.

Despite having lived 20 years in Brazil,

my DNA is from Buenos Aires.

I'm sexist, biased. .

egocentric. .

but I really like you.

- I have to go.
- Again?

I wanted to stay. .

but I have to go.

You need to believe more in people, Lóri.

It's all good.

Go back home, alone, Loreley.

You're free.

Go.

Davi!

Hi.

Hello.

You vanished again.

We were worried.
You don't tell us anything.

At least the old man will be happy
that you have a boyfriend.

He's not my boyfriend.

If I were you,
I'd hang on to him.

Despite your makeup,
it's clear that you're past your thirties.

You moron.

Do you want to be an old mother?

I'd rather do that than quit college

and take care of the kids
while my husband runs to Rio de Janeiro.

I missed your sense of humor.

Here.

Nice.

Thank you, brother-in-law.

So, what do you do besides teaching. .

to make a living?

I'm a full-time teacher.

You two have a future.

Good morning.

Wow, you went shopping.

Your fridge was empty.

Would you make us an omelet?

Would you set the table?

Does the brother-in-law like eggs?

I told you that he's just a co-worker.

He's never been here.

- What about your friend?
- She never came here either.

I've already sent her away.

Davi. .

Yes?

You can nail whomever you want,

but I won't be your partner in crime.

Okay?

The floor is broken here.

Now we'll read another text
by the woman who traveled the world.

- Did you know her?
- I did.

She went up to inner Africa
where she met lots of strange animals.

Was your mother tall?

Yes, she was.
Let's start.

Here.

I sometimes experience
the silent soul of animals.

Otto, your turn.

It's. . like. .

It's like. . a. .

bless. . ting.

We agreed that we wouldn't laugh,
remember?

It's "blessing. "

Now, look at the heron.

Look at its eyes.

What does the heron think?

Nothing!

Exactly.

Its impression of the world
is free of any thought. .

analysis, prejudices.

Again.

Again.

Miss Lóri, I'm hungry.

Hi.

Sweet pea!

Sorry, Miss, I was in the middle
of an online interview

when I remembered about school.

- Have you given up being a super mom?
- Of course not.

But you can't miss opportunities.

Right?

On Saturday,
we're celebrating Otto's birthday

at the Lagoon.
I'd like you to come.

Please hand out the rest
of the invitations

because I've run out of time.

I have an appointment.

Lóri, I know you're free on Saturday.
Try, will you? Otto loves you.

- It's not about that.
- I promise there won't be many people.

- Mom, she's not coming to my birthday?
- She'll come.

Guys, come on, cheer up!

Everybody get up!

Get up!
I'm going to cheer you up!

The one who jumps higher
will get more candy.

- Lóri.
- Ulisses!

You've discovered my secret hobby.

Now I'll have to kill you.

Is it a competition?

Yes, but between friends.

- Can you win?
- With this ship?

It can cross the Atlantic.

It's nice.

I have to grab the battery from my car.

Can I go with you?

You may have traveled the world,
but you despise the simple things in life.

My parents raised me that way.

I never traveled with my parents.

When my mom got sick,
we stopped traveling.

She also didn't like
living in the countryside.

She said she wore
a mask at social events.

When she was home,

she took off the mask
and was herself again.

How was it before clamming up?

- My mother?
- No, you.

Don't you feel lonely?

I like it.

What about your friends?

I have friends.

I have a friend who reads tarot cards
and she doesn't charge.

She's the birthday boy's mom.

And besides,
what I really like is to be alone.

Alone, right.

What about your lovers?

Were you also approached on the street?

I don't want to talk about them.

By the way, I won't ask

how many lovers
you've had since we met.

You don't ask,
but you're dying to know.

You're human, Lóri.

Human and contradictory.

You think you're a free,
modern woman,

but you depend on your father.

Everybody would love to be
given an apartment, except for you.

And it's interesting,

by denying your condition,
you became an unreachable woman.

Not only by me,
by the whole world. .

and even by you.

It must be tiring being you.

- Are you sure you want to go?
- Yes.

- Bye darling.
- See you.

Did you see everything I made?

Didn't I ask you something yesterday?

We've listed the house on the website.

It looks great, check it out.

Is our house for sale?

Yes, we can't keep it.
Nobody goes there.

Pedro and Paulo know about this?

- Why has nobody asked me?
- Because nobody can talk to you.

You just vanish.

You're not interested in family business,
you never were.

Pedro and Paulo live abroad
and talk more with dad than you do.

That's ridiculous!

No, it makes sense.
No one wants to live there.

You never wanted to live there.

You'll be given your share of the sale.

By the way, from what I've seen,
you've been given a large part already.

That's my house too.

You look like mom.

Physically?

That was always the case.

I meant that thing
about always running away.

Mom running away?

She lived for us.

But in her world, right?

Inside her books, her paintings.

Mom only did what she wanted.

Hadn't you noticed?

She almost had no kids,
no husband, nothing.

Luckily dad found her in time.

She said that 57
was a good age to die.

Young and pretty.

I think it makes sense
that she left you this apartment.

Sort of an apology

for not being there.

I don't think I'll be able
to keep it for long.

Ask Dad for help.

No way.

Last time he asked me
if I was tired of playing the big city.

Give me a kiss.

Try to call dad every now and then.
It'll make him happy.

He's got like 15 years left. .

I can't accept
that he voted for that guy.

You better accept it.
He's old already.

Give him a break.

What do you know about ambitions?

I wanted to get married
and have children like any other woman.

I was thrown in the prime of life.

I carried my first banner at the square.

They came and set it on fire.

Friends died.
They arrested me.

They left me for days
in a filthy cell,

with dead rats.

They gave me electric shocks.

I was vexed.

And they set me free,
but with marks.

And despite all that,
I carried my second and third banner,

I never did it for pride.

It was something greater,
on behalf of the logic of my feelings.

And if they were the normal ambitions
of a normal woman,

is there any other ambition than
happiness with happy and solitary people?

Hi, I can't talk right now.
Please, leave a message.

Damn it.

Why are you giving me this?

You'll take better care of it than I have.

It's a shame your nickname is Lóri. .

because I really like Loreley,
like the mermaid.

Loreley it's the name of a character
in German folklore.

It's in a beautiful poem by Heine.

She lived atop a cliff. .

and seduced fishermen with her voice.

Then they died
at the bottom of the sea.

I can't remember any other detail.

I've never set foot in the ocean.

You're kidding.

No.

A mermaid that doesn't like the sea.

I do like it.

Let's take a dip.

No way.

What is it?

I like how you overdo your makeup.

You primp up for me, I know.

Despite the fact
that I'm the seducer here.

But I don't want to end up
like the German fishermen.

Maybe you have to take the risk.

Even more?

I wonder if there's still
chicken in blood sauce

at the Tijuca forest restaurant.

I love that sauce made of thick blood.

It's delicious.

I like it, too.

I don't think I could kill a chicken.

That's why there are those
who like death.

When I think about how we enjoy
eating blood that's not ours. .

I see our gruesomeness.

If we went there one day,
shouldn't we order something else?

Of course not.

I respect our gruesomeness.

The small acts of violence
save us from the greater ones.

Who knows, if we didn't eat animals,
we might eat people.

Do you have any other plans
for this morning?

No, it's not what you are thinking.

I'm inviting you
for just another harmless walk.

You're late.

A little bit maybe.

Two hours is a little bit?

Come and join me.

Later.

You won't go in the water?

Why?

Look at how she walks comfortably.

You, besides hiding your soul.
You're ashamed of your body.

I want your body.
But I want it all, your soul included.

If you were mine, one day,
the way I want you. .

maybe we could start over.

When you're ready,
I'll be at my house, waiting for you.

That's my address.
I'll wait as long as it takes.

AN APPRENTICESHIP

- Hi.
- Hi!

Otto brought a present for you.

Its name is Sanson.
It's African.

Yes.

- Honey, promise you'll listen to Lóri.
- I promise.

It's a promise.

Sorry for asking so suddenly.
But I can't miss that meeting.

I can look after him once or twice,

but remember you're his mother.

I'll be back tomorrow
on the last flight, okay?

- Love you, Otto.
- Bye, mom!

Thank you.

We need to change the water.

No! It's gotta be mineral water.

Grab a bottle from the fridge.

Fridge. . there!

Water. . here!

Wait.

It's really cold.

Sanson is tropical.

Look after Sanson while I warm it up.

Hey, buddy, you used to be here,
but you were moved over there.

What are you doing?

Wait.

- Check out what I've found for you.
- What is it?

Here.

You see there?

Oh wow!
It's a fat cat!

It's huge.

- Sweet dreams.
- Good night.

Can you stay with me
until I fall asleep?

Okay.

You're not getting in?

I miss mommy.

I miss mine, too.

Hi!

- You bought it?
- Of course.

- It was supposed to be a gift.
- No.

Hello?

Ulisses. .

there's a man with monkey's arms
outside my window.

- Lóri?
- Shhh, listen, he's waiting for me.

What do you mean?

He's a lunatic.
I think he wants to get in.

Relax, I'm on my way.
I'll be there in a few minutes.

How many?

I don't know.

That guy said you were
spying on him on the street.

Were you?

No, I was just looking.

He misunderstood you.
He was waiting for a sign.

- Is he gone?
- Yes.

Do you want to come in?

We can have some wine.

Lóri, you call me
late at night to see a fish. .

To scare a neighbor away.

That's why I'm inviting you in.

We're already past the wine phase.

Do you think I'm a fireman?

I'm not here to save anybody.

Bye.

Bye?

Stay.

Somebody's waiting for me in the car.

What did she want?

- You took a long time.
- It was fine. Let's go.

- It was great. I really liked it.
- Good.

- I'm joining the rest.
- Catch you later.

I'm not ashamed of my body.

I've never been.

Okay.

Why haven't you been married?

I don't know.

I never felt the need.

I've always had any woman I wanted.

You're so arrogant.

You love creating
this exalted image of yourself.

As if you're irreplaceable,
indispensable, worshiped.

You need to be
the center of attention all the time.

You hurt people.

THE NECESSARY DEATH
IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

Hello, Lóri?

Sorry for calling you so late.

I was doing well,
but now I'm really bad.

I know how it is. .

I suffer from it too.

I can't sleep.

What should I do?

Solitude is not only yours.

Hold on.

"Silence is the deep secret night
of the world.

"It's void and without promises.

"When it's least expected,
it suddenly returns.

"And the heart beats
recognizing it within us.

"It never forgets.

"If there's no courage,
don't come in.

Let them wait. "

Have you ever felt the silence?

- I did.
- No.

How was it?

Lóri, your students are seven years old.

They have no maturity
to understand existentialist thinking.

But, Mirian, you always say
we shouldn't underestimate our students.

So? It was a complementary reading.

Animal world and personal experience.

Your personal experience, Lóri.

Why would you share your sorrow
with the children?

They can't help you.

You'll only make them feel anguish.

And their parents will be worried.

- Lóri, are you going to the party?
- What party?

The high school party.

They're raising money
for their graduation.

It's really nice.
You have to see it.

They still haven't understood
that we never graduate?

Wow, you're sound excited.

I don't know if I want to go.

Lóri, we always miss you.

Come on, I want to see you there.

Maybe.

Bye.

You came.

I thought it was important to socialize.

You only came because of that?

No, I came to support them, too.

Sorry, my bad.
Wanna dance?

Let's dance.

I don't know how to dance.

You don't need to know.
Just loosen up.

Lóri?
What's happening?

Talk to me.

Are you okay?

Lóri!

Where are you going?

Are you okay?

Do you know where
the water valve is?

- In the kitchen.
- Can you close it?

Done.

Great.

Do you need anything else?

No, you can sit down
and tell me something.

What?

Whatever.

Tell me what you've been up to lately.

I met a friend of mine.

She's worried because
she has to make a decision.

About what?

For quite a while,
my friend shut herself down. .

because she thought that
that was the only way not to feel pain.

Pain?

What pain?

The pain of existing. .

of belonging to something. .

of having been born.

That's crazy.

But she found somebody,
by chance.

She discovered. .

that you can't stop pain. .

otherwise you suffer all the time.

Wow.

What a problem.

I hope she gets over that.

THE ORIGIN OF SPRING

What I really want is you.

I want to be free.

I don't want to hide anymore.

I need to trust you.

I need to understand. .

that loving

is not dying.

Ulisses. .

I still need to be alone.

Did you know that in ancient theater,

actors wore masks
to illustrate their characters?

Cool!

But those masks hid
the quality of the actor.

Since I trust you,

I want you to show yourselves as you are.

With a clean and nice face.

- What do you think?
- Yes, very cool.

-Good, right?

Take advantage of the winter break

to memorize the text.
Think about the costume, makeup,

what your character's like
and what they do.

- Bye.
- Bye!

I made this for you.

- It's really nice, thank you.
- You're welcome.

"There's a creature that lives inside me,

"as if it were its house,
and it is.

"It's a black horse,
shiny and completely wild.

"Despite being completely wild,

"it has a primal sweetness
of those who aren't afraid.

"It sometimes eats from my hand.

"Its snout is wet and fresh.

"When I die,

"the horse won't have a home
and it'll suffer a lot.

"Unless it chooses another home

"that isn't afraid
of what's wild and soft.

"If it senses that a body-home is free,
it'll trot silently and go.

"One shouldn't be afraid of its neigh.

We get scared of the sweetness
for the first time. "

Miss Lóri, a toucan!

Its beak is so beautiful!

Miss Lóri, can I touch it?

It's trying to grab the pencil.

He's just a toucan.
He won't do anything.

Sorry for disappearing.

I also disappeared.

But you came back.

- Chicken in blood sauce for two.
- Thanks.

I need to tell you something.

One day at dawn,
I went alone to the beach.

There was nobody there.

I went into the water. .

and I wasn't scared.

I went in the ocean, Ulisses.

Did you like it?

It's not I liked it.

It was something else.

Is it better or worse?

It can't be compared.

It's as if. .

the water beating my body. .

were the presence of God.

I feel more and more in love. .

I want to teach. .

love. .

and prepare my students. .

as I never was.

A FREE ADAPTATION
OF CLARICE LISPECTOR'S WORK

"AN APPRENTICESHIP
OR THE BOOK OF DELIGHTS"

Lóri. .

I love you.

How nice.

Is love gifting each other
our own solitude?

I don't know.

I only know that we're just starting.

- Do you wanna know what I think?
- Sure.

I think that. .