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1
00:00:02,394 --> 00:00:04,061
(gulping)
2
00:00:04,063 --> 00:00:08,841
-(screaming)
-♪ Somewhere up there ♪
3
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:12,069
♪ Beyond the blue ♪
4
00:00:12,071 --> 00:00:14,162
♪ There's love ♪
5
00:00:14,164 --> 00:00:16,331
♪ For me ♪
6
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:19,667
-♪ And you. ♪
-HOMER: Ah...!
7
00:00:19,669 --> 00:00:21,411
(screams, whimpers)
8
00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:23,397
-(rapid instrumental)
-(all vocalizing dizzily)
9
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,278
(all yelling)
10
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,582
(screaming)
11
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,711
(song stops)
12
00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:51,592
(belches loudly)
13
00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:54,678
♪
14
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,043
♪
15
00:01:02,045 --> 00:01:05,064
WIFE: Oh, my gosh! It's what
you thought I always wanted!
16
00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:07,566
I do like
when you have a regimen.
17
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,126
Oh.
18
00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:11,628
I can feel myself getting hotter
than the other moms.
19
00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:14,323
And my husband can increase
the incline from the app.
20
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,819
(cackling)
21
00:01:18,821 --> 00:01:20,913
I've never been happier.
22
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,307
I'm back
to my sixth-grade weight!
23
00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:25,084
ANNOUNCER: Pedalon. Because a great marriage
24
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,993
is a bike that goes nowhere.
25
00:01:26,995 --> 00:01:29,663
-(grunting)
-(grunting) Why, you...
26
00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,331
You know, Homie,
27
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,742
an exercise bike would be good
for someone like me
28
00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:36,411
who can barely leave the house.
29
00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:38,580
And my birthday's coming up.
30
00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:41,007
An exercise bike?
Why would you want that,
31
00:01:41,009 --> 00:01:43,251
instead of getting
locked into a gym membership
32
00:01:43,253 --> 00:01:45,162
you could never use
and can't cancel?
33
00:01:45,164 --> 00:01:46,830
Oh, never mind.
34
00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:49,850
Just once I'd like
to get something I want.
35
00:01:49,852 --> 00:01:51,443
(cries)
36
00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:57,932
I'll get her the damn bike
37
00:01:57,934 --> 00:02:00,160
and anything else the TV says.
38
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:01,862
(shrieks)
39
00:02:01,864 --> 00:02:04,514
(shrieks) Why, you...
40
00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:07,042
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
(grunts)
41
00:02:07,777 --> 00:02:10,111
One wife bike, please.
42
00:02:10,113 --> 00:02:11,446
Excellent choice, sir.
43
00:02:11,448 --> 00:02:14,040
Our starter model
goes for $1,500.
44
00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:16,360
$1,500?!
45
00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:19,045
Don't worry.
We do have an installment plan.
46
00:02:19,047 --> 00:02:20,697
$40 a month for...
47
00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:22,349
(mumbles) ...months.
48
00:02:23,552 --> 00:02:24,977
That's better.
49
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,461
And at 60 bucks
for the classes...
50
00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:28,814
-What the...?
-...25 for the matching
water bottle...
51
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:32,133
-That's crazy.
-...and it's 125
for the special shoes.
52
00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:34,060
Fine, I'll take the shoes.
53
00:02:34,062 --> 00:02:35,061
Good choice.
54
00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:36,989
Regular laces or deluxe?
55
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,991
-Regular.
-The regular cost more.
56
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,217
(groans)
57
00:02:40,219 --> 00:02:41,660
(snoring)
58
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,662
("Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"
from The Nutcracker playing)
59
00:02:44,481 --> 00:02:45,889
(giggles)
60
00:02:45,891 --> 00:02:49,817
And now for the birthday elf
to work his silent magic.
61
00:02:49,819 --> 00:02:51,244
(yelling)
62
00:02:51,246 --> 00:02:53,897
(grunting, yelling)
63
00:02:53,899 --> 00:02:55,007
(clanks)
64
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,092
(classical music playing)
65
00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:02,163
(grunts) Why did I say
"I'll take it from here"?
66
00:03:02,165 --> 00:03:04,741
Why do I always want to impress?
67
00:03:04,743 --> 00:03:05,926
I got it from here, guys.
68
00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,519
(cracking)
69
00:03:08,414 --> 00:03:10,856
No. I'll take me from here.
70
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,083
(loud groaning)
71
00:03:13,085 --> 00:03:15,360
(pained grunting)
72
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,437
Oh, God!
73
00:03:17,439 --> 00:03:20,032
Assembling your bike couldn't be easier.
74
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:23,760
Step one, get your 10,000 SPM pneumatic jigsaw.
75
00:03:23,762 --> 00:03:24,778
My what?
76
00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:26,763
Difficult. Complicated.
77
00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:28,098
Obscenely hard.
78
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,433
Congratulations.
79
00:03:29,435 --> 00:03:30,784
You've opened the box.
80
00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:32,211
Now, we begin.
81
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,713
(ratcheting)
82
00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:38,383
Son, I'm trapped.
83
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,461
(whistling)
84
00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:42,629
(grunting)
85
00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:46,642
There must be a way
to get out of this gift!
86
00:03:47,786 --> 00:03:49,186
(clanging)
87
00:03:51,123 --> 00:03:53,106
Love you, Dad. Mwah.
88
00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:57,461
(Homer groans)
89
00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:58,737
(ratcheting)
90
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,647
Surprise!
91
00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:02,223
(grunting)
92
00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:04,392
It's wonderful, Homie!
93
00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:07,996
And there's one thing left
I can do.
94
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,166
(clanging)
95
00:04:11,994 --> 00:04:12,993
I'll fix that.
96
00:04:12,995 --> 00:04:14,586
Just stop.
97
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,588
(strained grunting)
98
00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:20,425
Okay.
99
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,428
"Step one,
create a unique username."
100
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,603
Ooh, now, he looks like fun.
101
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,165
What's up, Pedalon family?
102
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:37,425
My name is Jesse, and I care about you.
103
00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:40,170
All of you. Except for the woman on the bottom left.
104
00:04:40,172 --> 00:04:42,005
Your credit card was declined.
105
00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:44,491
Repo men are on the way!
106
00:04:45,527 --> 00:04:47,077
No...!
107
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,247
Now let's ride.
108
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,868
(pants, sniffs)
109
00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:56,703
(panting)
110
00:04:56,705 --> 00:04:58,297
Oh, boy.
111
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,299
You got this, ScaredToGoToGym!
112
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,467
Way to be, EndorphinAnnie!
113
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,694
And that is the end!
114
00:05:04,696 --> 00:05:07,472
Of warm-up. Let's look alive!
115
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:14,387
(groans)
I can't.
116
00:05:14,389 --> 00:05:15,889
I can't do it.
117
00:05:16,892 --> 00:05:18,966
Don't you give up, MrsMargeSimpson!
118
00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:21,728
You're talking to me.
119
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:23,229
Yes, I am, MrsMargeSimpson,
120
00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:25,657
and I believe in you!
121
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,660
Oh, my God.
A positive online interaction.
122
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,162
Can you believe it, Alexa?
123
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:32,405
ALEXA: I'm on my break.
124
00:05:32,407 --> 00:05:33,239
(humming)
125
00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:36,150
And cross that finish line.
126
00:05:36,152 --> 00:05:38,003
To quote a personal hero of mine,
127
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,412
Mr. Nelson Mandela,
128
00:05:39,414 --> 00:05:42,415
it always seems impossible until it is done.
129
00:05:42,417 --> 00:05:45,902
I prefer to believe that hewas talking about riding a bike
130
00:05:45,904 --> 00:05:47,087
in your living room.
131
00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:49,014
Peace out!
132
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,925
Is something wrong, Mom?
133
00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:54,061
You didn't get the mail today.
134
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,416
What's this?
135
00:05:59,418 --> 00:06:01,026
Lisa, I'm in cool-down mode.
136
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,027
Can it wait?
137
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,087
I don't want jelly legs.
138
00:06:04,089 --> 00:06:07,032
Mmm. Jelly legs.
139
00:06:10,596 --> 00:06:12,762
(chewing)
140
00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,097
It's a jury summons,
141
00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:15,690
in my name!
142
00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:17,934
Ignore it. When you're my age,
143
00:06:17,936 --> 00:06:21,454
the last thing you want to do
is stay still in a box.
144
00:06:21,456 --> 00:06:25,050
Yeah, I mean, obviously,
it's for another Lisa Simpson.
145
00:06:26,111 --> 00:06:27,794
(gasps)
It says if I throw it away,
146
00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:30,222
there's six months in prison!
147
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,558
Um, is that vegan?
148
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,135
Vegan? No way.
149
00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:36,895
This is prison.
150
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,305
It's vegetarian.
151
00:06:39,307 --> 00:06:41,316
(laughter)
152
00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:46,238
Honey, you got the triple "H"!
153
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,073
Homer, home and hungry!
154
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,650
Can't talk now.
Jesse is freestyle rapping.
155
00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:54,896
♪ It's only the first inning, heart beating, no retreating ♪
156
00:06:54,898 --> 00:06:56,489
♪ Time, it is fleeting ♪
157
00:06:56,491 --> 00:06:57,249
When are we eating?
158
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,309
6:00 p.m. No cheating!
159
00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:02,236
♪ I'm Hamilton on a bike, Hamilton on a bike, y'all ♪
160
00:07:02,238 --> 00:07:05,498
♪ You drop the LBs while I drop the mic, y'all! ♪
161
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,217
(chuckles):
Yeah!
162
00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:10,745
Oh...
163
00:07:10,747 --> 00:07:12,656
-(grumbling)
-(chime)
164
00:07:12,658 --> 00:07:14,433
Ooh, a high four!
165
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,768
Marge, sweetie,
what does that bike give you
166
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,511
that feeding me doesn't?
167
00:07:18,513 --> 00:07:20,497
Encouragement.
168
00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:22,590
(chiming)
169
00:07:22,592 --> 00:07:23,850
MrsMargeSimpson,
170
00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:26,519
that is one beauteous gluteus!
171
00:07:27,673 --> 00:07:30,490
HOMER: I'll put a stop to this here and now.
172
00:07:32,101 --> 00:07:34,119
Backup battery activated!
173
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:37,030
And Marge Simpson is my biker of the week.
174
00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:39,532
(groans)
Stupid Peloton!
175
00:07:39,534 --> 00:07:40,792
I mean, Pedalon!
176
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,377
Uh, you know what I mean!
177
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:49,092
(grunting)
Ah...
178
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,879
MrsMargeSimpson, we're gonna play "Taps"
179
00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:54,881
because you killed it today.
180
00:07:54,883 --> 00:07:57,050
("Taps" playing)
181
00:07:57,052 --> 00:07:58,310
And riding to "Taps."
182
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,628
And a one, and a two, and a go!
183
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:03,556
Marge, you've been sitting
on that thing all day.
184
00:08:03,558 --> 00:08:05,967
-(Marge grunting)
-Why don't you take a walk?
185
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:07,377
Get a little exercise.
186
00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:09,804
Wait a minute,
"Marge in Charge"?
187
00:08:09,806 --> 00:08:11,656
What happened to
Mrs. Marge Simpson?
188
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,567
I'm just getting tired of
the same old things.
189
00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:16,161
Like my last name?
190
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,330
That was my gift to you
at our wedding.
191
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:21,908
It's just a user name.
You're overreacting.
192
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:23,001
-Oh, am I?
-(Marge grunting)
193
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,152
Am I overreacting to my wife
194
00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:27,413
being taken in by a cult?
195
00:08:27,415 --> 00:08:30,083
It's not a cult.
It's just a group of people
196
00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:31,993
improving their lives,
paying money,
197
00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:35,055
and slavishly following
a charismatic leader.
198
00:08:36,499 --> 00:08:39,726
Ah. Boy, do I love
drinking that Kool-Aid.
199
00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:46,525
(barks softly)
200
00:08:51,423 --> 00:08:54,849
Um, excuse me,
there's been a mistake.
201
00:08:54,851 --> 00:08:56,943
(chuckles)
Yeah, that's what
they all say.
202
00:08:56,945 --> 00:09:00,280
No, really.
I should not be on a jury.
203
00:09:00,282 --> 00:09:02,615
Well, no one wants
to be on a jury.
204
00:09:02,617 --> 00:09:04,617
But I have a valid excuse.
I'm...
205
00:09:04,619 --> 00:09:06,193
Ugh, I'm so sick of this.
206
00:09:06,195 --> 00:09:08,213
People say their work
is too important,
207
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,031
or they have a vacation planned,
208
00:09:10,033 --> 00:09:12,292
or they hate cops,
or they love cops,
209
00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,794
or they're secretly
eight years old.
210
00:09:14,796 --> 00:09:16,946
But I am only eight years old.
211
00:09:16,948 --> 00:09:18,390
Just ignore that magazine,
212
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,541
and please take a good look
at me.
213
00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:23,562
What eight-year-old
wears pearls?
214
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:27,232
You're being non-responsive
and borderline fascist.
215
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,550
So you claim
you're eight years old,
216
00:09:29,552 --> 00:09:31,978
and you're using language
like that?
217
00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:35,031
Excuse denied!
Get out of my face.
218
00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:38,326
(bedsprings squeaking loudly)
219
00:09:39,638 --> 00:09:42,581
-(Marge grunting)
-(Homer groans)
220
00:09:44,326 --> 00:09:47,026
-One, two, one, two, one...
-Marge, Marge. Marge!
221
00:09:47,028 --> 00:09:49,979
-Ah!
-You were pedaling
in your sleep.
222
00:09:49,981 --> 00:09:51,314
Good. Good.
223
00:09:51,316 --> 00:09:53,741
Jesse says the only bad workout
is the one
224
00:09:53,743 --> 00:09:54,909
that doesn't happen.
225
00:09:54,911 --> 00:09:56,152
(gasps)
226
00:09:56,154 --> 00:09:59,005
You brought Jesse
into our bedroom.
227
00:09:59,007 --> 00:10:01,082
Oh, sweetie, don't worry.
228
00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,101
Yes, I may dream about him,
229
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,011
spend most of my day
with him,
230
00:10:05,013 --> 00:10:08,681
use up half our
disposable income on him.
231
00:10:08,683 --> 00:10:11,258
But I'm married to you, Jesse.
232
00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:13,928
Homer! Homer, Homer.
I'm married to Homer.
233
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:16,597
Now, let's get to Jesse.
Sleep. Sleep.
234
00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:19,659
Homer. Oh... Mmm.
235
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:20,952
Okay.
236
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,787
What is that?
237
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:26,625
Uh, it's a Pedalon
pillow scent.
238
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,627
What's it called?
239
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:32,672
Um, "Sweat Dreams, by Jesse."
240
00:10:36,027 --> 00:10:38,528
Fine. I'm going to Moe's.
241
00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:41,197
Where the only exercise you get
is lifting a mug.
242
00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:43,290
Sometimes Moe helps
with that, too.
243
00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:46,794
That's my big boy.
Only five more to go.
244
00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:48,796
That's my little drinker.
245
00:10:48,798 --> 00:10:49,873
Aww.
246
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:52,133
Homer, what gives?
It's only Tuesday,
247
00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:54,043
and you're drinking
like it's a Thursday.
248
00:10:54,045 --> 00:10:55,728
I got nothing
to go home to except
249
00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:57,947
except my incredibly fit wife.
250
00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:01,809
I think she has a thing
for her ride instructor.
251
00:11:01,811 --> 00:11:02,902
Eh, don't worry.
252
00:11:02,904 --> 00:11:04,779
Those guys are losers
in real life.
253
00:11:04,781 --> 00:11:06,331
Let me check out what they make.
254
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,225
$500,000?
255
00:11:09,227 --> 00:11:11,227
I wish I was a ride instructor.
256
00:11:11,229 --> 00:11:13,505
Yeah, me, too.
Except for the bike riding,
257
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,231
and saying encouraging things.
258
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:17,583
And I'm not allowed
to appear on the Internet
259
00:11:17,585 --> 00:11:19,994
without a big dot
in front of my face.
260
00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:21,829
Wow, that is an improvement.
261
00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:25,124
Sure is gonna be hard
to go back to "No-Dot" Moe.
262
00:11:25,126 --> 00:11:26,351
Just for that, I'll turn on
263
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:29,378
-the really harsh lighting.
-Turn it off.
264
00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:32,173
Why can't she be happy
with the other instructors?
265
00:11:32,175 --> 00:11:36,010
Like Vivica, or Jen S.
Or even Jen R.?
266
00:11:36,012 --> 00:11:37,754
Why always Jesse?
267
00:11:37,756 --> 00:11:39,531
Oh, did you say Jesse?
268
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,759
-Jesse of Pedalon?
-You guys know him?
269
00:11:42,761 --> 00:11:44,518
He is a damnation.
270
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,021
Hey, you kiss your cross
with that mouth?
271
00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:48,614
I know what I said.
272
00:11:48,616 --> 00:11:52,711
I could do laps in his
deep blue eyes, that jerk.
273
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,954
(grumbling)
274
00:11:54,956 --> 00:11:56,456
Would you listen
to yourselves?
275
00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:59,050
Complaining that your wives
found a healthy hobby.
276
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:02,762
I'm ashamed to be drinking till
2:00 a.m. with all of youse.
277
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,058
All rise for juror selection.
278
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,229
LISA: She looks understanding.
279
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,066
Christmas gift.
280
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,809
Now, listen here.
281
00:12:16,811 --> 00:12:18,719
Jurors will only be released
282
00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:20,463
for the most serious of reasons.
283
00:12:20,465 --> 00:12:23,149
Tell you what,
if you get me out of this,
284
00:12:23,151 --> 00:12:24,317
we could have coffee.
285
00:12:24,319 --> 00:12:26,319
Your Honor, we should
both be excused.
286
00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:28,654
As a newsman
who's seen too much,
287
00:12:28,656 --> 00:12:30,856
I can't possibly be objective.
288
00:12:30,858 --> 00:12:31,975
What about her?
289
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:34,419
-She's my plus-one.
-Aww.
290
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:38,498
Do you have any objections
to losing these... jurors?
291
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:41,509
Ah, well, they're
the only jurors I like.
292
00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:45,822
Oh, boy. Aw, geez.
293
00:12:45,824 --> 00:12:47,140
Don't type that part.
294
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,825
And don't type the part
where I said,
295
00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:49,768
"Don't type that part."
296
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,085
Ah, she's typing it.
297
00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:53,179
You know, I think I'm gonna
win this case.
298
00:12:53,181 --> 00:12:55,498
Oh, now she stops typing.
299
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,026
Jurors six and eight
are excused.
300
00:12:59,262 --> 00:13:01,095
This place makes no sense.
301
00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:02,113
You're telling me?
302
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,931
I'm on this jury while I am
303
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:06,284
simultaneously in prison.
304
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,529
Personal best, WineMomNoMore.
305
00:13:09,531 --> 00:13:12,698
Big deal,
the instructor talks to you.
306
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,108
Marge in Charge.
307
00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:16,944
(gasps)
That's me, that's me, that's me.
308
00:13:16,946 --> 00:13:18,630
I'd like to see you after class.
309
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,798
Meet me in the...
310
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,541
Cool Down Lounge.
311
00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:22,783
Hmm?
312
00:13:22,785 --> 00:13:24,785
Marge, I've been watching you,
313
00:13:24,787 --> 00:13:26,029
and I would like to invite you
314
00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:27,454
for a private ride.
315
00:13:27,456 --> 00:13:29,265
♪
316
00:13:32,037 --> 00:13:34,461
A personal experience, you and me alone.
317
00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:36,055
The world is our bike lane.
318
00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:39,300
You mean the two of us
in the same place?
319
00:13:39,302 --> 00:13:40,485
Oh, no. God, no. No.
320
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,061
The same way we've always done it.
321
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:43,563
You on your bike and me on mine.
322
00:13:43,565 --> 00:13:46,049
My motives are pure. Ha.
323
00:13:46,051 --> 00:13:47,567
Well, Marge?
324
00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:49,327
♪ Just the two of us ♪
325
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,163
♪ We can make it if we try ♪
326
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,165
This makes me feel
a little odd,
327
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,000
but again,
the only bad workout
328
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,577
is the one you don't do.
329
00:13:57,579 --> 00:13:59,062
JESSE: You got that right.
330
00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:00,580
I thought I shut this off.
331
00:14:00,582 --> 00:14:02,732
JESSE: Uh, there's a five minute "secret listen."
332
00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:04,491
Y-You have to opt out.
333
00:14:04,493 --> 00:14:07,053
♪
334
00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:10,598
Here we go.
335
00:14:12,243 --> 00:14:14,477
You've got something
to say, say it.
336
00:14:15,763 --> 00:14:17,272
Nap time.
337
00:14:21,769 --> 00:14:23,278
♪
338
00:14:24,939 --> 00:14:27,106
And when you found the victim
lying carved up
339
00:14:27,108 --> 00:14:29,092
like a spiral-cut ham,
340
00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:30,535
You took this photo.
341
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,945
Yeah, but see how I got
the full moon
342
00:14:32,947 --> 00:14:34,931
reflecting in the pool of blood?
343
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,857
And that's just using
the iPhone 10,
344
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:38,877
not the good one.
(chuckles) Amazing.
345
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,527
Can you believe this?
346
00:14:40,529 --> 00:14:43,364
Longest Judge Judy
I've ever seen.
347
00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:45,366
(scoffs)
This is not a TV show,
348
00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:47,719
and we are not
a studio audience.
349
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:51,538
And little jurors should be seen
and not heard.
350
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:53,892
(whistling)
351
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,144
♪
352
00:15:00,808 --> 00:15:02,275
(hums)
353
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,129
WOMAN'S VOICE: Welcome to the Private Ride.
354
00:15:06,131 --> 00:15:09,223
-Just you and your instructor. -(beeps)
355
00:15:09,225 --> 00:15:11,725
We'll just send that to voice mail.
356
00:15:11,727 --> 00:15:13,661
(exotic music playing)
357
00:15:15,807 --> 00:15:17,473
(speaking Mandarin)
358
00:15:17,475 --> 00:15:19,475
That means thank you for joining me.
359
00:15:19,477 --> 00:15:21,902
Today our pedal odyssey will take us on
360
00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:23,737
the Great Wall of China.
361
00:15:23,739 --> 00:15:27,258
So sit back, enjoy, and...
(speaks Mandarin)
362
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,761
That means remember to hydrate.
363
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,471
(exotic music continues)
364
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,825
Behold the wonders of China.
365
00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:37,176
Bitcoin mines,
366
00:15:37,178 --> 00:15:40,680
forced labor camps where children make smartphones,
367
00:15:40,682 --> 00:15:43,332
and romance.
368
00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:46,611
Marge, I know we've had
a tough few weeks,
369
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,021
but I'm really gonna make
an effort to be good
370
00:15:49,023 --> 00:15:50,264
till you're not mad.
371
00:15:50,266 --> 00:15:52,116
Then I'll go back
to the way I was.
372
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,859
JESSE: That's it, feel the burn.
373
00:15:53,861 --> 00:15:56,204
Feel you, feel me.
374
00:15:58,032 --> 00:16:00,941
Let's take him down.
375
00:16:00,943 --> 00:16:02,518
You got to be more specific,
Homer.
376
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,629
We hate lots of guys
in this bar.
377
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,114
I know who he means.
Jesse.
378
00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:08,449
If we did have sex,
379
00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:10,693
my wife would be
thinking of him.
380
00:16:10,695 --> 00:16:13,529
And hypothetically,
I'd be furious.
381
00:16:13,531 --> 00:16:15,956
When that guy tried
to steal Marge,
382
00:16:15,958 --> 00:16:18,959
he woke the wrong
sleeping fatso.
383
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:21,220
I just have to find him.
384
00:16:21,222 --> 00:16:23,055
I can tell you where he is.
385
00:16:23,057 --> 00:16:24,148
What? How?
386
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,424
You know how the Church says
387
00:16:25,426 --> 00:16:27,968
we don't share
any information?
388
00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:30,896
It's a lie. Google bought us
six years ago,
389
00:16:30,898 --> 00:16:33,307
so here you are.
390
00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:37,829
I'm gonna put a foot-shaped dent
in his beautiful ass.
391
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,980
Defense, closing statement.
392
00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:41,982
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
393
00:16:41,984 --> 00:16:43,835
consider everything you've seen,
394
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,911
and beyond a shadow of a doubt,
395
00:16:45,913 --> 00:16:48,080
you will vote guilty.
396
00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:49,990
You're the not guilty guy.
397
00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:51,843
Uh, wha-what?
398
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,236
Gol-dang it.
399
00:16:53,238 --> 00:16:55,238
Now, if there are
no further statements...
400
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,663
I have a statement.
401
00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,165
This is highly irregular,
402
00:16:58,167 --> 00:17:00,243
but I'm very bored,
so I'll allow it.
403
00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:02,854
Thank you. I didn't want
to be on this jury.
404
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,338
I didn't think
I was mature enough
405
00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:06,006
to decide a criminal case.
406
00:17:06,008 --> 00:17:09,252
But after seeing the nonsense
that goes on in this courtroom,
407
00:17:09,254 --> 00:17:11,587
well, you should be ashamed.
408
00:17:11,589 --> 00:17:14,198
And, Your Honor,
I find you guilty
409
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,426
of criminal indifference
and playing Wordle
410
00:17:17,428 --> 00:17:18,852
on the bench.
411
00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:21,447
"Bench."
That's what it is.
412
00:17:21,449 --> 00:17:23,949
Ah, juror number six.
Lisa Simpson.
413
00:17:23,951 --> 00:17:25,209
Yes, Judge?
414
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:28,028
I find you in contempt
of court.
415
00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:29,696
Bailiff, take her away.
416
00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:32,533
Now the forewoman is gonna be
the Crazy Cat Lady.
417
00:17:32,535 --> 00:17:33,867
(gibbering):
I want to take a vote.
418
00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:35,219
No, too soon!
Take a vote...
419
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,703
(spouting gibberish)
420
00:17:36,705 --> 00:17:39,348
Kitty's going to--
What was it? Guilty, guilty.
421
00:17:41,469 --> 00:17:44,062
And that leaves 11 jurors.
It's a mistrial.
422
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,730
The defendant can go free.
423
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,565
(Lisa groans)
424
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,233
(knock on Jesse's door)
425
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,976
Uh, excuse me, private riders,
426
00:17:50,978 --> 00:17:52,570
I have a guy at the door.
427
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,796
Yes, may I help you?
428
00:17:53,798 --> 00:17:55,055
(Homer grunts)
429
00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:58,284
(both grunting)
430
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,413
You like that? You like that, fatty?
431
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,141
Okay, so when strangling a man, don't just
432
00:18:05,143 --> 00:18:07,418
use your arms, people, engage that core.
433
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,921
Engage. Engage.
434
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:13,907
I'll die as I lived...
435
00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:15,927
failing and sweaty.
436
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,262
Let him go.
Let him go.
437
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,348
Oh, I've got to save Homie.
438
00:18:22,677 --> 00:18:24,660
(engine not turning over)
439
00:18:24,662 --> 00:18:26,312
Damn it!
440
00:18:30,835 --> 00:18:34,003
Oh, it's so hard to ride
without a screen to look at.
441
00:18:34,005 --> 00:18:37,598
Muscle memory.
Muscle memory.
442
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,075
♪
443
00:18:44,365 --> 00:18:45,623
Cool.
444
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:56,592
Whoa!
445
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:04,049
Aw, screw it.
446
00:19:04,051 --> 00:19:05,201
(groans)
447
00:19:05,203 --> 00:19:07,628
Whoa, was that your mom?
448
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:10,373
In a million years my mom
would not be that cool.
449
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:11,983
Bart, be home by 6:00.
450
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,009
Well, if it's not your mom,
451
00:19:14,011 --> 00:19:15,895
she stole her catchphrase.
452
00:19:15,897 --> 00:19:18,197
(panting)
453
00:19:20,401 --> 00:19:21,475
(gasping)
454
00:19:21,477 --> 00:19:25,163
You're having a thing
with my wife.
455
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,498
Dude, she doesn't even know
where I live.
456
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,625
MARGE:
You get away
from my husband.
457
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,396
I thought you said
it was a private ride.
458
00:19:33,398 --> 00:19:35,339
Well, you should have read
the terms and conditions
459
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,341
before you checked "agree," huh?
460
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,993
(Marge grunting)
461
00:19:39,995 --> 00:19:42,238
That's enough, bub.
462
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,165
That's it, Marge,
work those quads.
463
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:47,593
I'm tired of men
telling me what to do.
464
00:19:47,595 --> 00:19:49,854
(grunts)
465
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,565
(Jesse screaming)
466
00:19:56,178 --> 00:19:58,679
Homer, let's go home.
467
00:19:58,681 --> 00:20:00,180
Be sure to rate your ride,
468
00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:02,366
and use Jesse32
for special discounts
469
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,776
in our online store.
470
00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:07,854
Not valid without any other
discount codes. (groans)
471
00:20:07,856 --> 00:20:10,708
Once again I have to thank you
for saving me
472
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,859
when I failed at saving you.
473
00:20:12,861 --> 00:20:16,272
BOTH:
♪ Just the two of us ♪
474
00:20:16,274 --> 00:20:18,365
♪ We can make it if we try ♪
475
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,218
♪ Just the two of us ♪
476
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,295
♪ Just the two of us ♪
477
00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:25,223
♪ Just the two of us ♪
478
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:28,709
♪ Building castles in the sky ♪
479
00:20:28,711 --> 00:20:30,728
♪ Just the two of us ♪
480
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,064
♪ You and I. ♪
481
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,460
Is that my bike?
482
00:20:37,462 --> 00:20:40,129
HOMER AND MARGE:
♪ Just the two of us ♪
483
00:20:40,131 --> 00:20:42,815
♪ We can make it if we try ♪
484
00:20:42,817 --> 00:20:44,575
♪ Just the two of us. ♪
485
00:20:48,823 --> 00:20:51,064
I'm interested
in buying a bike.
486
00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:53,158
Well, you have come
to the right place.
487
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,068
I'll take it from here.
488
00:20:55,070 --> 00:20:58,238
(chuckles, sighs)
I used to make 500 grand a year.
489
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,591
And I used to be king
of South Jersey.
490
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:04,095
My big mistake was moving
into Middlesex County.
491
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:07,265
Why did I get so cocky?
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
492
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,934
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
493
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,603
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
494
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:17,024
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
495
00:21:28,529 --> 00:21:30,413
Shh!
36304
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