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00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,178
Welcome to Woodstone B and B.
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Babe?
3
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:20,288
Jay? Jay?
4
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,990
That not good.
5
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,527
Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling?
6
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,928
I'm okay, it's just that I really
7
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,464
hit my head hard, though. Ouch.
8
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,266
Do you think I can see 'em?
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00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,867
- See who?
- The ghosts.
10
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,967
I mean, when you hit your head,
you could see ghosts.
11
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:37,765
Are there any ghosts in here right now?
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00:00:37,789 --> 00:00:38,834
No.
13
00:00:38,859 --> 00:00:40,474
Okay, well, that's probably
why I'm not seeing any.
14
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,842
So far, so good.
15
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,912
The dream is still alive.
I'm gonna go check downstairs.
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00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:47,448
You should just
stay here, get some rest.
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00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,749
Yeah, you're right.
18
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,418
Thanks, babe. Love you.
19
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Love you.
20
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,630
Flower?
21
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,533
Hey, Thor?
22
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,303
Isaac? No Pants?
23
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,640
Oh, my God.
24
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,942
Pete.
25
00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:17,745
Jay. You can see me?!
26
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Gadzooks! Jay can see us!
27
00:01:21,955 --> 00:01:24,090
I don't believe it.
28
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,954
Bring it in, big fella.
29
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No, no, no.
30
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What is happening?
31
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Hey, where's your arrow?
32
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Jay, why are you hugging
the delivery guy?
33
00:01:38,221 --> 00:01:40,123
Huh?
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Damn it.
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- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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As you all know, our first guests...
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Not including the ones that left
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after the floor collapsed...
Will be arriving at any moment.
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Please be young and hot.
40
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And we really need
this visit to go well.
41
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,692
After the floor thing, the last
people gave us a scathing
42
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,360
one-star review on Yelp.
43
00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:09,563
Which is a website where
customers can rate and review
44
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:12,400
businesses like our B and B.
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00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,568
The fates of industry
should not be decided
46
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by commoners.
47
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,739
Sometimes you bite into a sausage
and you get a worker's thumb.
48
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Get on with your miserable day
and let the factory owners be.
49
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The point is, we need everyone
on their best behavior.
50
00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:27,578
Yeah, and that means
no ghost powers. Okay?
51
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Thorfinn, no futzing
with the electricity.
52
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:30,751
And, guys,
53
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,019
let's just stay out of their room. Okay?
54
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It's not a peep show.
55
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:36,590
Yeah, I'm looking at you, No Pants.
56
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,726
- No, you're not, sweetie.
- Damn it.
57
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,027
It's cute how bad he wants it.
58
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,429
Oh, come on.
59
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:42,663
Why do you care if we go
in the guests' rooms?
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00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:43,797
They won't know.
61
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,333
Yeah, we've been spying on Livings
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for hundreds of years.
63
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:48,836
Until TV it was our only form
of entertainment.
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00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,371
Yeah, honestly, Sam,
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00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:54,041
if we can't spy, why are we even
opening this B and B?
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00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:57,211
Uh, to earn money so we can eat.
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00:02:57,245 --> 00:03:00,981
Oh, someone can consume food.
Must be nice.
68
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:06,554
And I'm like, that ain't a
ruler, it's a bracelet, bro.
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00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,722
Yes.
70
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,791
Oh, hey, Nigel. What are y'all watching?
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00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:15,729
A historical program entitled
How About Those '90s.
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Show's so fun,
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doesn't even feel like learning.
74
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,869
How do I get myself an intern?
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00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,772
Well, it's getting late.
76
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,039
What? Oh, no, but we're still
77
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,775
at nineteen hundred and ninety-four.
78
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,878
We don't even know if that O.J. fellow
tracks down the real killers.
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00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,681
Isaac, feel free to call
on me at the shed. Adieu.
80
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,317
How about those '90s, huh?
81
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,486
Is it just me, or does he
seem rather uncomfortable
82
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,721
hanging out here at the mansion?
I must say,
83
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,956
he did seem in quite a hurry to leave.
84
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,725
Yes, I wonder if something's wrong.
85
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,427
Well, have you talked to him about it?
86
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,885
No.
87
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:50,606
That sounds like
an unpleasant conversation.
88
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:53,901
Indeed. Avoid relationship
conflict at all costs.
89
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,035
- Yes.
- Bottle it up.
90
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,170
Allow the resentment to fester
91
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,307
until the hatred becomes so ever-present
92
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,074
you must turn to the sweet, sweet milk
93
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,043
of mother morphine to numb the pain.
94
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:07,247
Yeah, a short conversation
couldn't hurt.
95
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:10,050
Damn, did you get a new perfume, Sam?
96
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,819
It is working, girl.
97
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:12,953
It was my late mother's.
98
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:16,256
I only have a little bit left,
so I use it sparingly
99
00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,058
whenever I want to feel her
watch over me.
100
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,960
Thank you for the verbal cold shower.
101
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,462
Sam, they're here.
102
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:22,863
- They're here!
- Okay.
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00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,998
Welcome. Welcome.
104
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:28,001
Welcome to the Woodstone B and B.
105
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,703
Oh, hi there.
106
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,104
Gosh, this is beautiful.
107
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,773
It's like I've died and gone to heaven.
108
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,342
Oh, if only it were that simple.
109
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I'm Debbie, and this is my husband Tom.
110
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,813
Short for Thomas,
like the English muffins.
111
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,349
No relation.
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00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:42,616
These two are brutal.
113
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English muffins.
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Well, I'm Sam, and
this is my husband Jay.
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And these are your
signature welcome cocktails.
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- Thank you very much.
- Mm-hmm.
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Wow, that hits the spot.
118
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:55,829
- Very nice.
- Mmm. Yummy.
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Bingo. Mm-hmm.
120
00:04:57,073 --> 00:04:59,007
Well, I think you'll find
that is just one of the many
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special touches that
sets Woodstone apart
122
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,102
from the B and B herd.
123
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,505
- Oof.
- Yeah, that was hard to watch.
124
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,440
- I'll just, uh, show you to your rooms.
- Okay. Thank you.
125
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,241
- Okay. Yep.
- Enjoy your stay.
126
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,143
- Thanks a lot.
- Right this way.
127
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:11,879
Okay, right behind you.
128
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,948
Well, they seem happy. Lame but happy.
129
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,750
Yeah, I think that went really well.
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00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,185
I'm not so sure, Sam.
131
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,953
Let me tell you something
about your polite
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00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,188
Midwesterners there.
133
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,823
They can be very tricky.
134
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,225
And this is 18 years in the
travel agency game talking.
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00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,259
What are you talking about?
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They loved the house.
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- They loved the cocktails.
- But did they?
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They left them barely
touched right there.
139
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,135
That's true. Not even a second sip.
140
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,438
This type of customer,
they're all smiles,
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00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,239
but you never know what
they're really thinking.
142
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,074
So you're saying they kvell to your face
143
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,676
but kvetch behind your back?
144
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:45,679
Possibly. Based on
context clues, I think so.
145
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,315
And I know, 'cause I was
the one they would complain to.
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00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,118
I mean, you should have seen
the angry faxes I would get.
147
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"Hecks" and "darns"
flying all over the place.
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00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,489
Babe, great news.
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00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:56,757
They love the room.
150
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,427
But do they, Sam?
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00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,961
Do they?
152
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,432
What do you say
we head up to the mansion?
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00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,166
There's just not much to do here.
154
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,235
Not much to do? Hello?
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00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:11,772
Have you not experienced
the drama of the ants?
156
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,774
Now, those boys have pep.
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00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,643
Yep, certainly can't deny the pep.
158
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:19,112
And yet, at the mansion,
we have the added benefit
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00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,414
of watching television
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00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,816
and not being watched
by your former lover.
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00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,118
Just pretend I'm not even here.
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00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,556
Okay, it's just...
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00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,425
Nigel, do you have a problem
with where I live?
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What? No. I love the mansion.
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00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,898
If I were forced to pick nits,
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00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,801
your friend Thorfinn can be a bit much.
167
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,037
Oh. Oh, this is about Thorfinn.
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00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,474
It's just, the yelling
and the jocularity.
169
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,943
And he murder stories
and the endless cod anecdotes.
170
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,980
Yes, no, I get it. I get it, trust me.
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00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,548
You know what I'll do?
I'll just ask him, um,
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00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,984
to rein in his energy a bit.
I'm sure he'll understand.
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00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:01,789
Oh, God, I was so nervous
to bring this up,
174
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,356
but I'm so glad that I did.
175
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,792
As am I.
176
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,495
You know, I think we work
very well together.
177
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,863
Heard that before.
178
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,799
Thank you.
179
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,267
I found Tom and Debbie's Yelp profile.
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00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:18,138
Geez, look at these reviews.
These people are vicious.
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00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,173
"The only thing worse
than the day-old bread
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00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:22,375
"at Linda's Shrimp Shack
was the foul smell
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00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:25,012
coming from the kitchen.
Steer clear. One star."
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00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,938
It's weird. They seem so nice.
185
00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:28,549
Pete says it's common.
He dealt with this
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00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:29,783
all the time back when travel agents
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00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,485
- were still a thing.
- Hurtful.
188
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:33,954
Okay, well, there's
a couple good ones in here.
189
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,489
So I guess we just got to do our best
190
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,758
and then we try to get one of those.
191
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,561
There is one other possibility.
192
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:41,629
We spy on them.
193
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:44,131
Not for our entertainment
but to help you guys.
194
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,099
See what they're really saying
behind closed doors.
195
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,435
And doing behind closed doors.
196
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,271
- They're like 60.
- I'm very bored.
197
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,473
I know we were against it before,
198
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,408
- but it's not the worst idea.
- What's happening?
199
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:58,111
The ghosts are saying
they could spy on the guests.
200
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,547
No.
201
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,148
But if Tom and Debbie have complaints,
202
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,216
then we can find out and course-correct
203
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,552
while they're still here.
204
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,719
It's so creepy,
205
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,773
not to mention totally unethical.
206
00:08:07,898 --> 00:08:09,999
Typically, I'd agree, but
when you're dealing with
207
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,359
two-faced Duluthers,
you do what you gotta.
208
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:13,393
Jay, think about it.
209
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,729
People could think that
our one bad review was a fluke,
210
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,991
but two bad reviews? Our only reviews?
211
00:08:18,016 --> 00:08:19,351
Would you stay at that B and B?
212
00:08:19,376 --> 00:08:21,245
We're not gonna have two bad reviews.
213
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:25,320
We're gonna crush this,
without creepy ghost spying.
214
00:08:25,345 --> 00:08:26,613
No offense. Okay?
215
00:08:26,638 --> 00:08:28,273
Okay, you're right.
216
00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:30,200
Thank you.
217
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,064
So you want to go with our thing?
218
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,332
Oh, hell yes.
219
00:08:35,365 --> 00:08:38,085
Yes!
220
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,558
Thor? Thor, remember when Nigel was over
221
00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:48,053
and we were watching that
television show earlier,
222
00:08:48,086 --> 00:08:49,354
How About Those '90s?
223
00:08:49,387 --> 00:08:51,423
Yes! Most interesting decade.
224
00:08:51,456 --> 00:08:56,328
Probably best '90s since 1190s,
though 1490s were pretty wild.
225
00:08:56,361 --> 00:09:00,598
Yes. Anyway, um, you were kind
of, like, doing this thing
226
00:09:00,632 --> 00:09:04,136
where you were talking over
people and hitting people
227
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,904
and just being very boisterous.
228
00:09:05,938 --> 00:09:08,140
And it was just a little bit much.
229
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,575
And, um, I was just
wondering if maybe you could
230
00:09:10,608 --> 00:09:12,144
tone it down a little?
231
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,379
Where is all this coming from?
232
00:09:14,412 --> 00:09:17,015
Isaac and Thor always watch TV together.
233
00:09:17,049 --> 00:09:18,550
Never complain before.
234
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:21,653
W-Well, if you must know,
it's coming from Nigel.
235
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,789
And I would push back,
it's just that it's
236
00:09:23,822 --> 00:09:26,091
so new, and I do enjoy his company.
237
00:09:26,124 --> 00:09:31,063
I see. So... Isaac embarrassed of Thor.
238
00:09:31,096 --> 00:09:33,665
No, I'm just simply saying
that when Nigel's around,
239
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,268
maybe you're around less.
240
00:09:36,301 --> 00:09:38,837
So mere presence of Thor is problem.
241
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,906
Yes. Well put.
242
00:09:40,939 --> 00:09:43,341
Fine! Thor won't be around.
243
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:46,344
Thor go where he won't be
problem for you anymore.
244
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:49,514
Where he won't be problem for anyone!
245
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:52,584
Okay, well, thank you for hearing me.
246
00:09:52,617 --> 00:09:54,419
They call these sheets.
247
00:09:54,452 --> 00:09:56,955
They are as thin as that toilet paper.
248
00:09:56,989 --> 00:10:00,158
Man, Debbie is really chafed
about that toilet paper.
249
00:10:00,192 --> 00:10:01,760
Literally.
250
00:10:01,794 --> 00:10:03,762
Knock, knock. Room service.
251
00:10:03,787 --> 00:10:04,834
Hey.
252
00:10:04,859 --> 00:10:06,273
Jay's homemade cookies.
253
00:10:06,298 --> 00:10:07,732
So, how are you settling in?
254
00:10:07,766 --> 00:10:08,834
Everything okay with the room?
255
00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:10,202
Oh, everything's perfect.
256
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,736
- Could not be better.
- Yes.
257
00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:13,038
Lies.
258
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,240
Thin sheets, hard towels, cheap TP.
259
00:10:15,273 --> 00:10:17,475
Debbie's really chafed about it.
260
00:10:17,509 --> 00:10:18,877
Sam hadn't heard it yet.
261
00:10:18,911 --> 00:10:20,846
You know, are those our summer sheets?
262
00:10:20,879 --> 00:10:23,748
Would you mind if I changed them
for something a little more plush?
263
00:10:23,782 --> 00:10:24,950
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Oh, no.
264
00:10:24,975 --> 00:10:26,068
These are fine.
265
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,253
He said he'd rather sleep
on his boat tarp, Sam.
266
00:10:28,286 --> 00:10:30,288
No, I insist. Let me change them.
267
00:10:30,322 --> 00:10:32,190
I slept on a boat tarp once
268
00:10:32,224 --> 00:10:34,492
with several members of Fleetwood Mac.
269
00:10:34,526 --> 00:10:37,562
Little uncomfortable
but super easy cleanup.
270
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:40,966
Hey, guys.
271
00:10:40,999 --> 00:10:44,269
Oh, it's upstairs. How lovely.
272
00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:47,439
Listen, you guys got to do
something about your boy Thor.
273
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,909
He's totally depressed and he's
bumming out the whole basement.
274
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:53,045
And we like to keep it light down there.
275
00:10:53,078 --> 00:10:55,513
Wait, what's Thor doing in the basement?
276
00:10:55,547 --> 00:10:58,851
He moved down there, after
Pantaloons here told him to get lost
277
00:10:58,884 --> 00:11:01,854
because his British boy toy
doesn't want Thor around.
278
00:11:01,887 --> 00:11:04,890
Isaac, is that so?
Is it telling the truth?
279
00:11:04,923 --> 00:11:07,893
No, I-I merely suggested
he tone down his energy a bit.
280
00:11:07,926 --> 00:11:09,494
I suppose, upon exit,
281
00:11:09,527 --> 00:11:11,463
he did cryptically promise
he'd not be around anymore,
282
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:14,566
but I just thought
that was his Viking temper.
283
00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:16,368
Isaac, go apologize to Thor.
284
00:11:18,403 --> 00:11:19,404
No.
285
00:11:19,437 --> 00:11:20,906
No.
286
00:11:20,939 --> 00:11:24,176
I don't even know what
this thing is with Nigel yet,
287
00:11:24,209 --> 00:11:26,578
but whatever it is, I don't want
to ruin it before it starts.
288
00:11:26,611 --> 00:11:28,646
So I'm sorry that Thor is unhappy,
289
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,937
but when is it my chance
to be happy? Hmm?
290
00:11:30,962 --> 00:11:34,531
When is it old Higgintoot's turn?
291
00:11:35,453 --> 00:11:37,622
Oh, God.
292
00:11:38,991 --> 00:11:40,671
Thank you for coming.
293
00:11:40,696 --> 00:11:42,264
You're welcome.
294
00:11:42,289 --> 00:11:43,428
Leave.
295
00:11:43,461 --> 00:11:45,030
Okay. Oh.
296
00:11:45,063 --> 00:11:46,965
What'd they think of the cookies, huh?
297
00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:48,233
They said they loved them.
298
00:11:48,266 --> 00:11:51,269
Yes. Mwah. See? I told you
we'd crush it.
299
00:11:51,303 --> 00:11:52,905
Bad news, Sam. They hated the cookies.
300
00:11:52,938 --> 00:11:56,508
Oh, although I tried one myself
301
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:57,609
and I had some thoughts.
302
00:11:57,642 --> 00:11:59,077
Tom didn't like the salt on top.
303
00:11:59,111 --> 00:12:00,845
I wasn't sure about the salt on top.
304
00:12:00,879 --> 00:12:04,816
But other than that, seriously,
babe, the cookies were perfect.
305
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,584
Debbie's saying there's
too many chocolate chips.
306
00:12:06,618 --> 00:12:09,988
Although maybe there were
too many chocolate chips,
307
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:11,789
now that I reflect upon it further.
308
00:12:11,823 --> 00:12:13,091
What's going on?
309
00:12:13,125 --> 00:12:15,260
You always loved my
chocolate chip cookies.
310
00:12:15,293 --> 00:12:17,629
Okay, I hadn't wanted
to hurt your feelings,
311
00:12:17,662 --> 00:12:21,900
but Tom and Debbie actually
did say something to me.
312
00:12:21,934 --> 00:12:23,268
What? Really?
313
00:12:23,301 --> 00:12:26,404
It was very out of character,
but it's growth for them, which is good.
314
00:12:26,438 --> 00:12:28,440
Okay, well, I'm just gonna talk to them.
315
00:12:28,473 --> 00:12:30,242
Wait, what? No-no. Why?
316
00:12:30,275 --> 00:12:31,977
What is going on?
317
00:12:32,010 --> 00:12:33,778
Hmm? First they love the cookies,
318
00:12:33,811 --> 00:12:37,382
now they don't, and now you
don't want me to talk to them?
319
00:12:37,415 --> 00:12:39,116
Oh, boy. He's putting it together.
320
00:12:39,141 --> 00:12:41,962
Oh, my God, you did have the ghosts spy.
321
00:12:41,987 --> 00:12:43,922
- Busted.
- Just a little bit.
322
00:12:43,956 --> 00:12:45,123
Unbelievable.
323
00:12:45,157 --> 00:12:49,038
Not a great turn of events for Sam,
but Jay's one hell of a gumshoe.
324
00:12:49,063 --> 00:12:52,430
Okay, yes, I should have told you.
But honestly, it's working.
325
00:12:52,464 --> 00:12:55,467
I am able to respond in real
time to their every need.
326
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,335
- What did I miss?
- Jay figured it out.
327
00:12:57,369 --> 00:13:00,272
- Ooh, exciting. Which one's Jay?
- I get it.
328
00:13:00,305 --> 00:13:02,174
It's hard to hear criticism.
329
00:13:02,207 --> 00:13:04,276
But honestly, if Tom and Debbie
thought that I was
330
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,265
doing something wrong,
I would love to know about it.
331
00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:08,000
So we should tell her
what Debbie said about her.
332
00:13:08,046 --> 00:13:09,179
- Trevor, shh!
- Wait, what?
333
00:13:09,204 --> 00:13:10,606
We didn't want to say anything.
334
00:13:10,631 --> 00:13:12,866
We know you're not the
best at taking criticism.
335
00:13:13,233 --> 00:13:14,935
- I can handle it.
- Oh.
336
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,257
Do the ghosts have some opportunities
for you to improve?
337
00:13:18,282 --> 00:13:19,892
Debbie thinks you're too chatty.
338
00:13:19,917 --> 00:13:21,453
Too chatty? That is...
339
00:13:22,799 --> 00:13:24,568
...very useful criticism.
340
00:13:24,593 --> 00:13:26,320
Thank you for letting me know.
341
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:29,177
I will strive to improve
that area of my personality
342
00:13:29,219 --> 00:13:31,221
during the remainder of their visit.
343
00:13:31,254 --> 00:13:34,625
Seems like she could've said
that in a lot less words.
344
00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:42,702
Well, I am ready
to strap on the old feedbag.
345
00:13:42,814 --> 00:13:45,319
Something smells delicious.
346
00:13:45,344 --> 00:13:47,662
Oh, I believe that is Jay's famous duck.
347
00:13:47,687 --> 00:13:50,824
But before the main event,
your farm-to-table dinner starts with
348
00:13:50,857 --> 00:13:52,359
a wide assortment of taste delights
349
00:13:52,392 --> 00:13:54,761
from across the Hudson.
Keep it brief, motormouth.
350
00:13:54,794 --> 00:13:56,363
- I'll get your salads.
- Oh.
351
00:13:57,564 --> 00:13:59,866
- Odd woman.
- Agreed.
352
00:13:59,899 --> 00:14:02,736
The year was 1996,
353
00:14:02,769 --> 00:14:05,039
and the Spice Girls were everywhere.
354
00:14:05,072 --> 00:14:07,441
This new fab five burst onto the scene
355
00:14:07,474 --> 00:14:09,743
with their message of female empowerment
356
00:14:09,776 --> 00:14:11,978
and, above all, loyalty to your friends.
357
00:14:13,613 --> 00:14:15,149
Loyalty to friends.
358
00:14:15,182 --> 00:14:17,751
I guess the '90s were a different time.
359
00:14:20,587 --> 00:14:23,057
Damn these English bards.
360
00:14:23,090 --> 00:14:24,458
Catchy.
361
00:14:27,227 --> 00:14:29,096
Okay, so apparently
they're loving your bread rolls,
362
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:31,431
but they think that I slouch
and do other stuff wrong.
363
00:14:31,465 --> 00:14:33,367
Hi, couple more action items.
364
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,968
Uh, they do not like the
playlist, they think you hover,
365
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:37,204
your voice is too high, and the pattern
366
00:14:37,237 --> 00:14:39,005
in your grandmother's butter
dish is satanic.
367
00:14:39,039 --> 00:14:41,941
And now they hate my playlist,
they think that I tend to hover,
368
00:14:41,975 --> 00:14:44,078
that my voice is too high, and
apparently that the pattern
369
00:14:44,111 --> 00:14:46,546
on my grandmother's
butter dish is satanic.
370
00:14:46,580 --> 00:14:47,947
I hate these people.
371
00:14:47,981 --> 00:14:50,850
Ugh... I better get back out there.
372
00:14:51,234 --> 00:14:53,287
Oh, I don't like the look of this fork.
373
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,255
- It's dingy, like the house.
- Yeah, look at this.
374
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,302
Here are your salads.
375
00:14:56,327 --> 00:14:57,899
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
376
00:14:57,924 --> 00:14:59,459
- Yummy.
- I'm gonna switch out the butter dish,
377
00:14:59,493 --> 00:15:01,728
- 'cause why not, right?
- Okay.
378
00:15:01,761 --> 00:15:03,029
Is it too bright in here?
379
00:15:03,063 --> 00:15:05,932
No, not at all... Thank you. Thank you.
380
00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:07,934
Hmm. That's better.
381
00:15:07,967 --> 00:15:10,637
You're hovering, and somehow
your voice has gotten even higher.
382
00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:13,006
I'll let you enjoy your salads.
383
00:15:13,039 --> 00:15:14,808
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
384
00:15:20,714 --> 00:15:22,249
Is he...
385
00:15:22,282 --> 00:15:23,983
Asleep? Yeah.
386
00:15:24,017 --> 00:15:26,353
The floor's pretty uneven,
so we tend to sleep standing up.
387
00:15:26,386 --> 00:15:30,023
Like livestock. You'll get used
to it after a few decades.
388
00:15:30,056 --> 00:15:33,538
Why on earth have you
dragged us down to this miserable pit?
389
00:15:33,563 --> 00:15:35,137
Because I have something to say to Thor,
390
00:15:35,162 --> 00:15:37,331
and I need you to hear it. Thor?
391
00:15:37,364 --> 00:15:38,665
Isaac.
392
00:15:38,698 --> 00:15:41,368
I'm sorry.
393
00:15:41,401 --> 00:15:44,438
You are a good friend,
and I have treated you poorly,
394
00:15:44,471 --> 00:15:48,708
and I would like you
to come back upstairs.
395
00:15:48,742 --> 00:15:52,011
You... truly mean this?
396
00:15:52,045 --> 00:15:54,514
Thor not annoying?
397
00:15:54,548 --> 00:15:57,884
Well, those are two
different questions, but yes.
398
00:15:57,917 --> 00:16:01,455
No, I mean it.
And, Nigel, I care about you.
399
00:16:01,488 --> 00:16:03,690
But something I learned today
is that if you want to be
400
00:16:03,723 --> 00:16:06,926
my special companion, you got
to get with my Viking friend.
401
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,296
- Oh.
- I see.
402
00:16:09,329 --> 00:16:11,631
I didn't realize
how much he meant to you.
403
00:16:11,665 --> 00:16:14,468
Yes. Neither did I.
404
00:16:17,404 --> 00:16:19,939
Thorfinn, forgive me.
405
00:16:19,973 --> 00:16:21,841
Perhaps I judged you too hastily.
406
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:24,678
Is okay. Thorfinn acquired taste,
407
00:16:24,711 --> 00:16:26,780
like sour ram's testicle.
408
00:16:28,382 --> 00:16:31,218
God knows I'm not everyone's cup of tea.
409
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,787
I like sitting in a dirty shed
watching ants all day.
410
00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:36,089
Wait. You like watching ants?
411
00:16:36,122 --> 00:16:38,592
Thor loves watching ants, too!
412
00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:40,394
Basement ants best ants.
413
00:16:40,427 --> 00:16:41,695
Come. Yes.
414
00:16:41,728 --> 00:16:44,898
Oh! Now, these boys have gumption.
415
00:16:44,931 --> 00:16:47,501
Thor and Nigel bonding.
416
00:16:47,534 --> 00:16:50,737
You and Isaac should
come to the shed to watch our ants.
417
00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:53,207
Oh, good, back to the shed.
418
00:16:54,541 --> 00:16:56,776
Jay, how are we coming with that duck?
419
00:16:56,810 --> 00:16:58,144
Did you change your sweater?
420
00:16:58,178 --> 00:16:59,813
Oh, yeah, apparently
Debbie thought I was looking
421
00:16:59,846 --> 00:17:02,649
- a little washed out.
- Okay, here's a thought.
422
00:17:02,682 --> 00:17:04,959
Tom and Debbie suck.
423
00:17:04,984 --> 00:17:06,653
- I agree with that.
- Jay.
424
00:17:06,686 --> 00:17:09,223
I am sick of sitting here
and listening to them criticize
425
00:17:09,256 --> 00:17:11,391
- the best person that I know.
- Aw.
426
00:17:11,425 --> 00:17:14,228
Sam, I think they're
crazy with this one,
427
00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:17,197
- but they hate your perfume.
- What's wrong?
428
00:17:17,231 --> 00:17:19,132
They don't like my perfume.
429
00:17:19,157 --> 00:17:20,824
The perfume your mom gave you?
430
00:17:20,849 --> 00:17:22,784
Yeah, it's okay.
It's a little old-fashioned.
431
00:17:23,002 --> 00:17:25,539
Nope. Uh-uh.
432
00:17:27,249 --> 00:17:28,775
Uh, Jay?
433
00:17:28,808 --> 00:17:29,843
Ooh, it's on.
434
00:17:29,876 --> 00:17:31,278
Oh, a visit from the chef.
435
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,079
Ah, is it time for our duck?
436
00:17:33,112 --> 00:17:35,515
Oh, if you think you're getting
even a nibble of my duck,
437
00:17:35,549 --> 00:17:37,116
you are sorely mistaken.
438
00:17:37,150 --> 00:17:39,553
Look, it's one thing to complain
about cookies and candles,
439
00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:41,855
but the fact that you could
find anything bad to say
440
00:17:41,888 --> 00:17:44,491
about my wonderful wife
441
00:17:44,524 --> 00:17:46,426
is bonkers.
442
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,161
Yeah, she's a little talkative,
443
00:17:48,194 --> 00:17:49,929
but I love every word.
444
00:17:49,963 --> 00:17:52,266
She's kind and she's smart.
445
00:17:52,299 --> 00:17:54,268
And her voice is mellifluous.
446
00:17:54,301 --> 00:17:56,403
And she's got a great ass.
447
00:17:56,436 --> 00:18:00,440
And I know no one's debating
that, but I'm on a roll.
448
00:18:00,474 --> 00:18:01,515
And you know what else?
449
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:03,718
Jay's cookies aren't too
salty, they're amazing.
450
00:18:03,743 --> 00:18:05,279
And he's got a great ass.
451
00:18:05,312 --> 00:18:06,546
And you might not be able
to see it in these pants,
452
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:08,248
but if you put him in, like, a soft jean
453
00:18:08,282 --> 00:18:10,884
or maybe a chino, your jaw would drop.
454
00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:12,652
Well, this is not gonna
make for a good Yelp review,
455
00:18:12,686 --> 00:18:15,221
- but God bless these crazy kids.
- Wait.
456
00:18:15,255 --> 00:18:16,923
How do you know we said any of that?
457
00:18:16,956 --> 00:18:20,460
Um, thin walls.
458
00:18:20,494 --> 00:18:21,616
Very thin.
459
00:18:21,641 --> 00:18:24,293
What... You've been eavesdropping on us.
460
00:18:24,318 --> 00:18:25,490
Why?
461
00:18:25,515 --> 00:18:28,968
Because we're trying to start a business
462
00:18:29,002 --> 00:18:30,604
and we read all your
vicious Yelp reviews,
463
00:18:30,637 --> 00:18:33,206
and we were just trying to do
something to make you happy.
464
00:18:33,239 --> 00:18:35,509
What do you mean you read
our Yelp reviews?
465
00:18:35,534 --> 00:18:37,369
- Those reviews are anonymous.
- That's right.
466
00:18:37,411 --> 00:18:40,614
No, we can see your names and pictures.
467
00:18:40,647 --> 00:18:42,482
- Uh, no.
- No, no, no, no.
468
00:18:42,516 --> 00:18:45,432
No, that is what we see on our computer.
469
00:18:45,456 --> 00:18:46,537
Right.
470
00:18:46,562 --> 00:18:47,987
No, I can show you.
471
00:18:48,021 --> 00:18:52,459
- Okay. Yeah.
- Well, we'll look.
472
00:18:52,492 --> 00:18:54,609
This is not good.
473
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,537
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
We went after everyone.
474
00:18:57,562 --> 00:18:58,635
They're all there.
475
00:18:58,660 --> 00:19:00,542
Oh, no, we tore apart
your sister's Shrimp Shack.
476
00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:02,124
This is a nightmare. We have to move.
477
00:19:02,149 --> 00:19:03,202
Oh. Oh, no.
478
00:19:03,236 --> 00:19:04,913
Wh-Where are you going, Tom?
479
00:19:04,938 --> 00:19:06,414
To unplug my laptop, Debbie.
480
00:19:06,439 --> 00:19:07,941
We got to get those reviews off-line.
481
00:19:07,966 --> 00:19:12,070
Well, I don't think that's
how it works, Tom. Tom!
482
00:19:12,679 --> 00:19:15,445
Yelp reviews may not be
anonymous, but you know what is?
483
00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:17,705
Conversations with your
trusted travel agent.
484
00:19:17,730 --> 00:19:21,648
Unless you tell me you murdered
someone. Or stole a robe.
485
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,627
Oh, babe.
486
00:19:27,661 --> 00:19:29,262
Tom and Debbie left us a Yelp review.
487
00:19:29,295 --> 00:19:30,930
Oh, I'm so nervous.
488
00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:33,500
"There may be nicer places to stay
489
00:19:33,533 --> 00:19:35,802
and softer sheets to lay upon..."
490
00:19:35,835 --> 00:19:36,865
Let it go, Debbie.
491
00:19:36,890 --> 00:19:38,004
"... but the proprietors
492
00:19:38,037 --> 00:19:39,238
"of the charming Woodstone B and B
493
00:19:39,272 --> 00:19:41,040
really care about their guests."
494
00:19:41,074 --> 00:19:44,143
Oh. "Sam and Jay not only
anticipated our every need"
495
00:19:44,177 --> 00:19:46,780
"but alerted us to the tragic
hacking of our Yelp account,
496
00:19:46,813 --> 00:19:48,147
"which led to the besmirching
of some of our
497
00:19:48,181 --> 00:19:50,784
"favorite institutions,
including the delicious
498
00:19:50,817 --> 00:19:52,752
and normal-smelling
Linda's Shrimp Shack."
499
00:19:52,786 --> 00:19:53,796
What is hacking?
500
00:19:53,821 --> 00:19:55,029
It means someone broke
into their account,
501
00:19:55,054 --> 00:19:56,289
but Tom and Debbie are lying.
502
00:19:56,322 --> 00:19:58,091
They're just doing damage control.
503
00:19:58,124 --> 00:20:01,761
Babe, they left us five stars!
504
00:20:02,938 --> 00:20:04,773
"And this is our vow
to you, people of Yelp,
505
00:20:04,798 --> 00:20:07,101
we will not rest until we find
the real hackers."
506
00:20:07,126 --> 00:20:09,296
Oh, like O.J. with the real killers.
507
00:20:09,321 --> 00:20:10,489
I bet he found them.
508
00:20:10,514 --> 00:20:12,149
That fellow seemed very determined.
509
00:20:12,174 --> 00:20:14,952
Well, seems like it all worked out.
510
00:20:14,977 --> 00:20:16,845
Yeah, but I don't want
this to be an endorsement
511
00:20:16,870 --> 00:20:19,796
for you to keep using
these ghosts behind my back.
512
00:20:19,821 --> 00:20:22,038
It is the last time
I do that, I promise.
513
00:20:22,063 --> 00:20:23,132
Good.
514
00:20:23,157 --> 00:20:25,781
Unless, like,
it's something really important, right?
515
00:20:25,806 --> 00:20:28,031
- Mm-hmm.
- What's that?
516
00:20:28,056 --> 00:20:30,204
Oh, I said "mmm."
517
00:20:30,344 --> 00:20:34,344
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
38459
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