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1
00:00:37,054 --> 00:00:39,946
"Hey, guys, home with groceries.
2
00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:42,690
Could use a hand unloading."
3
00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,117
And send.
4
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,437
Now I wait for them to come out
to help their dear old mom.
5
00:00:47,456 --> 00:00:49,715
Do it yourself!
6
00:00:59,118 --> 00:01:01,226
Hi, sad lady.
7
00:01:01,378 --> 00:01:03,970
Junior, our dinner talk
stays inside.
8
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,123
Hi, normal lady.
9
00:01:06,141 --> 00:01:08,625
What are you guys doing?
It's Sunday.
10
00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:11,144
I thought husbands had
to watch football all day
11
00:01:11,297 --> 00:01:12,629
or they get cancer.
12
00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:14,239
Today's our family fun day.
13
00:01:14,391 --> 00:01:18,135
That's right, a whole day
dedicated to family and fun,
14
00:01:18,153 --> 00:01:20,320
ending in the bedroom
with what I hope will be
15
00:01:20,472 --> 00:01:22,139
some back-end participation.
16
00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,065
- Hmm?
- Mm-mm.
17
00:01:29,331 --> 00:01:30,589
I am so tired of this family
18
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,816
just sitting around
and doing nothing.
19
00:01:32,835 --> 00:01:34,484
The Browns are outside
having fun
20
00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:35,910
while we're in here
loafing around
21
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,654
like a bunch of stupid potatoes.
22
00:01:37,823 --> 00:01:41,174
Mom, I've been anonymously
cyberbullied for a decade.
23
00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,660
"Stupid potato" doesn't even
leave a mark.
24
00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:47,164
We need to spend some quality
time together like the Browns.
25
00:01:47,182 --> 00:01:49,274
So we're doing a family fun day.
26
00:01:49,426 --> 00:01:51,593
Oh, family-free fun day
sounds great.
27
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,595
No, family fun day.
28
00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:54,855
Yeah, family-free fun day.
29
00:01:54,931 --> 00:01:58,508
No, Peter.
Family. Fun. Day.
30
00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:00,913
Yeah, I'm already at The Clam.
31
00:02:00,937 --> 00:02:02,329
Have fun.
32
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:09,611
All right, nothing's more fun
than a family card game.
33
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,296
Now, the game is euchre.
34
00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:15,801
"Begin by separating the nines,
tens, face cards and aces
35
00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:17,118
"from the rest of the deck.
36
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:20,197
"The goal is to win at least
three 'tricks.'
37
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,366
"Now, if the side that fixed
the trump fails
38
00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:25,144
"to get three tricks,
it is said to be 'euchred.'
39
00:02:25,371 --> 00:02:28,555
"The highest trump is the jack
of the trump suit,
40
00:02:28,724 --> 00:02:30,482
"called the 'right bower.'
41
00:02:30,634 --> 00:02:33,652
"Partnership-making trump wins
three or four tricks
42
00:02:33,879 --> 00:02:35,061
"and earns one point.
43
00:02:35,214 --> 00:02:37,656
"Lone hand wins
three or four tricks,
44
00:02:37,883 --> 00:02:40,050
"also earns one point.
45
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:42,995
"However, a lone hand wins
five tricks,
46
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,979
"that's worth four points.
47
00:02:45,073 --> 00:02:49,242
Many euchre games are scored
by rubber points, as in whist."
48
00:02:49,395 --> 00:02:52,320
Ooh, ooh. "The first side
to win two games
49
00:02:52,414 --> 00:02:54,989
wins the rubber."
50
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,734
"The dealer has the right
to exchange
51
00:02:57,827 --> 00:02:59,085
any turned-up card..."
52
00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:01,087
Oh, my God, it's the same.
53
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,089
"If the face-up card is a jack,
54
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,886
it's considered bad luck for..."
55
00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:08,261
"After two rounds, if no
trump suit has been declared
56
00:03:08,414 --> 00:03:10,650
"and the 'stick-the-dealer'
rule is not in effect,
57
00:03:10,674 --> 00:03:13,433
then the cards are
collected and reshuffled."
58
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,843
Family Guy is
brought to you by contract bridge.
59
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,604
Way simpler than euchre.
60
00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:20,199
You see, in contract bridge,
each player is dealt 13 cards
61
00:03:20,426 --> 00:03:22,259
from a standard 52-card deck.
62
00:03:22,277 --> 00:03:23,917
A trick starts when
a player leads,
63
00:03:23,946 --> 00:03:25,687
i.e. plays the first card.
64
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:29,124
The leader to the first trick
is determined by the auction.
65
00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:33,437
So, what do you think, gang?
66
00:03:33,455 --> 00:03:35,789
I thought it could be
a fun family activity
67
00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:37,918
if we had a
make-your-own-pizza night.
68
00:03:37,943 --> 00:03:39,292
Or we could order Domino's.
69
00:03:39,445 --> 00:03:41,778
No, come on, this'll be fun.
70
00:03:41,797 --> 00:03:43,222
Everyone gets their own crust,
71
00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:47,133
and you can choose from
any of the items I put out, huh?
72
00:03:47,286 --> 00:03:51,121
It could be olives,
it could be peppers.
73
00:03:51,139 --> 00:03:54,566
And for the risk takers, I
even put out some pineapple.
74
00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:57,827
You can put anything
you want on your pizza.
75
00:03:57,829 --> 00:04:01,481
Yeah, I'm putting a
Domino's pizza on my pizza.
76
00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,633
Domino's...
we're both terrible
77
00:04:03,727 --> 00:04:05,619
and better than your pizza.
78
00:04:09,808 --> 00:04:12,325
Ah, this is nice, huh?
79
00:04:12,402 --> 00:04:14,644
Oh, it's so good to
get the whole family
80
00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:17,981
out of the house and see Quahog
from a different perspective.
81
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:19,816
It's a little tight.
82
00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:23,153
So, how'd
you get into hot-air ballooning?
83
00:04:23,155 --> 00:04:25,155
They don't do background checks.
84
00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:28,934
Oh. What are we flying over now?
85
00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:30,418
My ex-wife's house.
86
00:04:30,512 --> 00:04:34,164
If you have any garbage
or little bags of cat poo,
87
00:04:34,257 --> 00:04:36,090
you can drop them now.
88
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:40,261
Did you know restraining
orders only go side to side?
89
00:04:40,355 --> 00:04:42,698
They don't go up and down.
90
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,953
Well, there's got to
be one thing we can all
91
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,513
enjoy together as a family.
92
00:04:49,531 --> 00:04:51,515
You know, I think
we're trying too hard.
93
00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:53,274
When I was a kid
we did movie nights,
94
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,685
and it was the Holy
Grail of family fun.
95
00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:58,188
-I'd watch a movie
-I'd watch a porn movie.
96
00:04:58,206 --> 00:04:59,631
No, a family movie.
97
00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:01,449
I'd watch a MILF porn movie.
98
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,969
Okay, technically that's
accurate, but no porn.
99
00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:06,863
All right, let's fire up
Amazon or Netflix.
100
00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:08,122
No streaming services.
101
00:05:08,216 --> 00:05:09,624
They've ruined how
we watch movies.
102
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,035
I'm talking about an
old-school movie night
103
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,961
where we rent one
from Blockbuster.
104
00:05:14,056 --> 00:05:16,373
Some of my best childhood
memories were when
105
00:05:16,391 --> 00:05:18,208
I went to rent a
video with my dad.
106
00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:19,709
Him and I never
really got along,
107
00:05:19,728 --> 00:05:22,321
but the one place where
we did was Blockbuster.
108
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,714
He'd let me pick out
any snack I wanted
109
00:05:24,716 --> 00:05:26,550
while he grabbed
our fifth-choice movie
110
00:05:26,643 --> 00:05:28,643
because we got there too
late to get the good ones.
111
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,903
But that was part of it,
112
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,312
because it wasn't
about the movie,
113
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,390
it was about the night
you spent together.
114
00:05:33,408 --> 00:05:35,500
I think renting a
movie's a great idea.
115
00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:36,501
Let's do it.
116
00:05:36,728 --> 00:05:37,819
So it's settled.
117
00:05:37,913 --> 00:05:38,986
The Griffins are making it
118
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,339
a Blockbuster night.
119
00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:43,083
When we get there, I'll
give you 20 bucks to say,
120
00:05:43,159 --> 00:05:45,761
"I've heard Magic Mike is good."
121
00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:52,834
Huh. This used to
be the Blockbuster.
122
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,928
Oh, man, it's gone.
123
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,079
Were you also looking for...
124
00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:58,081
Very tall prostitute, yes.
125
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,485
Is that what you
were going to say?
126
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:02,027
She used to hang out
here... Hands like a palm leaf.
127
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:05,346
She would do sex but also
help with light bulbs and stuff.
128
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:08,033
I think her name was Phillip.
129
00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:10,535
I see some of my
students in your car.
130
00:06:10,687 --> 00:06:12,454
That's good for me.
131
00:06:13,448 --> 00:06:14,909
I'm sure there's one still open.
132
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:16,116
I'll just google it.
133
00:06:16,268 --> 00:06:19,603
Eh, I got to type in my
code 'cause I got too fat
134
00:06:19,696 --> 00:06:22,714
- for the facial recognition to work.
- Brutal.
135
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:24,774
Oh, good. See?
There is one still open.
136
00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:27,293
Drive north
for a quarter of a mile,
137
00:06:27,462 --> 00:06:29,554
then turn left onto Highway 20.
138
00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:32,966
Continue straight
for 2,980 miles.
139
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,208
- What?!
- Oh, yeah.
140
00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:36,039
The last Blockbuster
in existence
141
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,621
is in Bend, Oregon.
142
00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:40,381
Did I not say that?
Strap in, everybody,
143
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,734
the Griffins are
going on a road trip.
144
00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:45,720
Well, it looks like
the family Griffin
145
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,616
is headed off down Holiday Road.
146
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:58,232
And Lindsey
Buckingham has said no.
147
00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,826
Well, that's all right.
148
00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:01,903
I reckon, if you're a
man named Lindsey,
149
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,214
you don't get to call
the shots very often.
150
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,504
Peter, this is crazy.
151
00:07:11,657 --> 00:07:15,082
We can't drive 3,000
miles just to rent a movie.
152
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,268
Would you please turn around?
153
00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:18,678
Lois, the whole family
fun thing was your idea.
154
00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:20,642
Don't get mad at me
'cause I'm following through.
155
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:23,257
But I only have one
pair of underwear.
156
00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:24,737
Oh, that's not a
problem. I got tons of
157
00:07:24,761 --> 00:07:25,961
women's underwear in the back.
158
00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:28,095
Why, why do you have that?
159
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:29,190
Tons of it.
160
00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:31,432
Don't we have a
say in all this, Dad?
161
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,412
Yeah, we don't want to
drive all the way to Oregon.
162
00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:34,953
Aw, it's gonna be fun, guys.
163
00:07:35,104 --> 00:07:36,433
We're gonna see
the whole country,
164
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:37,514
like we're in one of those
165
00:07:37,532 --> 00:07:39,683
Bruce Springsteen
Jeep commercials.
166
00:07:39,851 --> 00:07:42,686
America
is made up of a lot of states.
167
00:07:42,779 --> 00:07:46,022
Some of them really stink,
but some of them don't stink.
168
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:48,115
So buy a Jeep.
169
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,802
They flip easy,
but you'll be okay.
170
00:07:50,954 --> 00:07:52,762
Probably be okay.
171
00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:56,716
One of the perks of
a cross-country trip
172
00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:59,703
is stopping for a meal and
meeting the friendly folks
173
00:07:59,705 --> 00:08:02,872
who make up the heart
and soul of our country.
174
00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:04,966
Hello, we're from the Northeast.
175
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,990
Okay, then.
176
00:08:12,141 --> 00:08:14,618
We'll do 55 pancakes to go.
177
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,207
Trump!
178
00:08:21,409 --> 00:08:23,293
- Trump!
- Trump!
179
00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:25,653
- Trump.
- Trump.
180
00:08:25,747 --> 00:08:27,731
- Trump! - Trump!
- Trump!
181
00:08:27,749 --> 00:08:29,109
- Trump! Trump!
- Trump!
182
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:30,825
- Trump! - Trump!
- Trump!
183
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,010
- Trump!
- Trump!
184
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,076
- Trump! - Trump!
- Trump...
185
00:08:49,012 --> 00:08:51,271
I'm not getting any service.
186
00:08:51,423 --> 00:08:52,900
- Where are we?
- Hey, I don't know.
187
00:08:52,924 --> 00:08:55,534
But we can figure it out by
which radio stations come in.
188
00:08:57,445 --> 00:09:00,872
You're
listening to G-U-N-S AM radio.
189
00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:03,266
All guns all the time.
190
00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:05,268
Is the caller there?
191
00:09:05,287 --> 00:09:07,120
Ha, ha, I couldn't agree more.
192
00:09:07,272 --> 00:09:08,912
Sounds like we're
somewhere between
193
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:10,123
Washington and Washington.
194
00:09:10,275 --> 00:09:12,609
Well, we got to
almost be there, right?
195
00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:13,868
A few more hours.
196
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,111
Trust me, it'll all be worth it
197
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:16,796
once we walk into that store.
198
00:09:16,873 --> 00:09:18,281
Plus, I'll be able
to finally return
199
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,041
this copy of Ladyhawke.
200
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,544
You remembered
to rewind that, right?
201
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,968
You know what
I'm thinking, Peter?
202
00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:41,057
Instead of going to
Blockbuster, we drive right into
203
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,747
the first pond we see.
204
00:09:42,899 --> 00:09:44,819
It'll be a quicker
death than this trip.
205
00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:47,460
Guys, look.
206
00:09:50,332 --> 00:09:53,316
Ah! Oh, my God, it's real.
207
00:09:53,409 --> 00:09:55,176
We made it.
208
00:09:58,673 --> 00:10:00,765
Well, I suppose I should
be the responsible one
209
00:10:00,992 --> 00:10:03,326
and release all the car farts.
210
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:07,513
You're free now. Go.
211
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,519
I said go!
212
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,852
Here it is, guys.
213
00:10:28,854 --> 00:10:31,278
This is where kids would
come every Friday night
214
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,189
and see their
teacher wearing jeans.
215
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:36,283
Dad, who's Christian Slater?
216
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,471
Some actors never made
it out of Blockbuster, Chris.
217
00:10:43,368 --> 00:10:44,868
Sliver. Fun movie.
218
00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:46,961
Yeah, it's Sharon
Stone, so it's nudity
219
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,521
moms will put up with.
220
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:53,376
Hmm, it looks like you have
a late fee for Ladyhawke.
221
00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:55,803
Ah, no problem. How much is it?
222
00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:59,716
$32,419.
223
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:03,161
Look, uh, we traveled a
really long way to get here,
224
00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:05,646
and I kind of promised
my family a movie night.
225
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,408
Oh. Then the plot
just got interesting.
226
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,168
Where are you on your journey?
227
00:11:10,395 --> 00:11:11,670
About the end of act two?
228
00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:13,579
I read a lot of
screenplay books.
229
00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:15,852
There's got to be some
way we can work this out.
230
00:11:15,901 --> 00:11:18,492
Sorry, but we're pretty
strict about our late fees.
231
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,513
We kind of blew up our
whole company for 'em.
232
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,740
So, no money, no rental.
233
00:11:23,742 --> 00:11:25,742
Uh, $32,000, you say?
234
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:29,062
I don't have that on my person.
235
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:50,041
Ah, here it comes.
All together now...
236
00:11:50,193 --> 00:11:52,435
Drive, Lois, drive!
237
00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:58,107
Nothing worse than a case
238
00:11:58,201 --> 00:12:00,121
of Neil Diamond
blue balls. Am I right?
239
00:12:09,637 --> 00:12:11,045
Peter, just pull over.
240
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,122
We can talk to them
and figure this out.
241
00:12:13,141 --> 00:12:15,308
No. A high-speed
chase is preferred
242
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:18,144
over small talk with an employee. Aah!
243
00:12:18,296 --> 00:12:20,221
I hear Magic Mike is good.
244
00:12:20,298 --> 00:12:22,465
Way too late, dude.
245
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:25,910
I can lose these guys.
246
00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:28,321
Chris, pour me out a
handful of those Runts.
247
00:12:28,490 --> 00:12:30,731
How's eating candy
gonna help us?
248
00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:32,992
Runts are the hardest
candy in the world.
249
00:12:33,144 --> 00:12:35,462
They're not for eating,
they're for hucking.
250
00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:41,479
Meg, there's a stack
of posters in the back.
251
00:12:41,503 --> 00:12:43,669
We can throw 'em out
the car and blind 'em.
252
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:45,412
Just run the
posters by me first.
253
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,914
- Judge Dredd?
- Nah, keep that one.
254
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,157
I want to put it
in the basement.
255
00:12:48,176 --> 00:12:49,394
- Cool World?
- Keep.
256
00:12:49,418 --> 00:12:50,918
- Milk Money?
- Uh, keep.
257
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,137
These are all terrible movies.
258
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,189
Just throw one out.
259
00:12:56,501 --> 00:12:58,070
You know, that
movie still holds up.
260
00:12:58,094 --> 00:12:59,611
It didn't hold up then.
261
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,358
It worked. We lost them.
262
00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:09,120
Yes! No one ruins a
Griffin family fun day.
263
00:13:09,272 --> 00:13:11,122
Who wants a
turnaround high five?
264
00:13:11,274 --> 00:13:12,457
Dad, watch the road!
265
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,447
Is everyone okay?
266
00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:21,949
I swallowed my retainer,
267
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,527
but I'll do a little
stool fishing later.
268
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,226
Oh, they're still after
us. We got to run.
269
00:13:43,882 --> 00:13:46,065
Give up. We got you. It's over.
270
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,067
Well, actually it's not.
271
00:13:48,219 --> 00:13:51,070
I think this might be
the "all is lost" moment.
272
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,222
- What?
- You know, it seems over
273
00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:55,558
because there's an
insurmountable obstacle
274
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:57,335
in their way, but
instead of giving up,
275
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,336
they double down.
276
00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:00,672
- Lois, we got to jump.
- See?
277
00:14:00,823 --> 00:14:02,006
The fall will kill us.
278
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,958
I've seen Rambo
jump from higher.
279
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,511
I think if we jump
it'll cut to that scene.
280
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:07,828
Peter, that's crazy.
281
00:14:07,922 --> 00:14:08,829
Do you trust me?
282
00:14:08,923 --> 00:14:09,923
No!
283
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,605
Oh, what the hell?
284
00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,546
- I told you.
- I know.
285
00:14:41,697 --> 00:14:43,106
Peter Griffin, PhD.
286
00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:44,865
Petty, heavy dope.
287
00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:46,952
Wow, she really had
that locked and loaded.
288
00:14:47,036 --> 00:14:48,772
This is crazy. Those
guys are trying to kill us
289
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:50,054
because of a late movie.
290
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:51,350
We should just call the police.
291
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:53,134
Oh, look who's
already walking back
292
00:14:53,317 --> 00:14:54,951
their "Defund the
Police" stance.
293
00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:56,372
Little different
when it's real life
294
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,213
and not trying to impress
Alyssa Milano on Twitter. Hmm?
295
00:14:59,307 --> 00:15:02,125
Oh, this is not good.
It's gonna get dark soon.
296
00:15:02,143 --> 00:15:03,703
- We need a plan.
- Don't worry.
297
00:15:03,795 --> 00:15:04,903
We can hike back to the car
298
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,290
and call for help from the road.
299
00:15:06,314 --> 00:15:07,630
We're gonna get through this.
300
00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:08,814
Now, before we head off,
301
00:15:08,967 --> 00:15:10,224
I'm gonna divvy out our rations.
302
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,226
I'll start with this
pack of Starbursts.
303
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,580
There's pink for you,
orange for you, red for me,
304
00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:19,400
yellow for you, pink
for you, red for me...
305
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,310
You keep giving
yourself all the reds.
306
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:23,237
It's just completely random.
I'm just going in order.
307
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,405
I can't help where I'm standing.
308
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,649
Okay, where was
I? Yellow for Chris,
309
00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:28,426
- red for me...
- You did it again.
310
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,411
Okay, y-you know,
I tried being fair,
311
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,655
but now I'm just
gonna lick all the reds.
312
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:35,658
Now they have to be
mine. Next food... Spree.
313
00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:39,520
Green for you, orange
for you, red for me!
314
00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:48,020
I think we're lost.
315
00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:49,689
We're gonna die out here.
316
00:15:49,841 --> 00:15:51,432
Guys, we can't give up now.
317
00:15:51,526 --> 00:15:53,192
We can and I shall.
318
00:15:53,361 --> 00:15:56,103
I'm gonna close my eyes
and go to my happy place,
319
00:15:56,197 --> 00:15:59,606
being screamed at by
children while playing Fortnite.
320
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,609
No, your mom's a whore.
321
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,278
Wait, guys, look.
322
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,965
I think I see a cabin.
323
00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:13,212
It is a cabin. We're saved.
324
00:16:13,364 --> 00:16:15,715
You can't say that
word, Brayden.
325
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,226
None of you can say that word.
326
00:16:26,211 --> 00:16:27,931
Look, there's a radio. We can...
327
00:16:28,046 --> 00:16:29,545
Watch Sliver on that VCR.
328
00:16:29,638 --> 00:16:32,048
What? No. We
need to call for help.
329
00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:33,157
We can do both.
330
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,142
I am not gonna give
up on this movie night
331
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,902
like we gave up on our marriage.
332
00:16:36,979 --> 00:16:39,480
Four therapy sessions is
enough to know where it's headed.
333
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,225
There's a map on the wall
with government buildings
334
00:16:42,243 --> 00:16:43,851
connected by strings.
335
00:16:43,853 --> 00:16:45,013
Look, I know this hasn't been
336
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,487
the easiest couple
of days, guys,
337
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,156
but it'll all be worth it
once I put this tape in.
338
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,876
I present to you Sliver.
339
00:16:52,103 --> 00:16:54,070
And it's Sliders, season two.
340
00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:56,597
Classic Blockbuster blunder.
341
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,668
Oh, good. You numbskulls
put the wrong movie in here.
342
00:17:01,763 --> 00:17:02,836
I want a refund.
343
00:17:02,930 --> 00:17:04,838
Everybody outside now.
344
00:17:04,916 --> 00:17:06,173
I can't believe this.
345
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,342
All I was trying to do was
have a nice movie night
346
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,087
with my family, and
you guys keep ruining it.
347
00:17:11,105 --> 00:17:14,348
Wow, this is very similar
to a screenplay I wrote.
348
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,201
This guy is too into movies.
349
00:17:17,353 --> 00:17:18,761
Remember, the one I had you read
350
00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:21,781
that was like Love Actually
meets Independence Day?
351
00:17:21,933 --> 00:17:23,875
Uh, yeah, sure, I remember.
352
00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:26,026
- You didn't read it?
- I'm gonna.
353
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:29,363
Don't be mad at me. Be
mad at, you know, these guys.
354
00:17:29,457 --> 00:17:31,791
I'm sorry, kids,
all I wanted to do
355
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,718
was something
special with you guys.
356
00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:35,945
That one thing you'd
remember doing with me
357
00:17:35,963 --> 00:17:38,464
for the rest of your
lives, but I failed.
358
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,801
Another failure in a
long string of failures.
359
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,302
Are you kidding, Dad?
360
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,472
- This has been the most exciting day ever.
- It has?
361
00:17:46,624 --> 00:17:50,142
Yeah. We left the house
three days ago to rent a movie
362
00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:52,461
and now we're in the middle
of the woods in Oregon
363
00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:54,906
and might get murdered
by Blockbuster guys.
364
00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:56,574
Like, what is this?
365
00:17:56,651 --> 00:17:58,910
Yeah, we never know
what you're gonna do.
366
00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:01,304
It's usually silly or dangerous,
367
00:18:01,322 --> 00:18:03,230
but it's also kind of awesome.
368
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,308
Yeah. Remember
when he had tiny arms
369
00:18:05,401 --> 00:18:08,064
- for, like, three months?
- Or when he brought home that horse.
370
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,571
Or that falcon. Or that parrot.
371
00:18:10,648 --> 00:18:12,406
Lot of illegal animals.
372
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,000
Or when that little
guy lived in his neck.
373
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,986
What the hell was that?
374
00:18:17,004 --> 00:18:19,079
Every few years he
fights a giant chicken
375
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,099
and destroys a city.
376
00:18:20,249 --> 00:18:22,249
No one's named a good thing yet.
377
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,660
You had a blimp
with your face on it.
378
00:18:24,679 --> 00:18:27,179
Your mother put me on
pills after I bought that.
379
00:18:27,332 --> 00:18:29,682
You see, Dad, we
don't need a movie night
380
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,183
for us to remember you.
381
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:34,320
Every day is like a
movie night with you.
382
00:18:38,176 --> 00:18:40,343
Well, I guess Mom
knew what she was doing
383
00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:43,028
when she insisted
on family fun day.
384
00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,514
Super sweet moment, guys.
385
00:18:45,608 --> 00:18:47,850
I'm gonna assume
this was all a callback
386
00:18:47,869 --> 00:18:49,127
to something in act one.
387
00:18:49,278 --> 00:18:52,505
Time to go outside now.
388
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,302
Guys, please, I'm the
one with the late fees.
389
00:18:58,529 --> 00:19:00,713
Don't hurt my
family. I'll do anything.
390
00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:04,049
Well, I have this screenplay,
it-it's an epic sci-fi,
391
00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:06,477
and it's mostly stage
directions where they...
392
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,687
Just kill us!
393
00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:12,108
What the hell?!
394
00:19:28,743 --> 00:19:31,502
Amazon drones? You saved us.
395
00:19:31,695 --> 00:19:36,174
Once again a streaming
service annihilates a Blockbuster.
396
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:37,250
Wa-boosh.
397
00:19:37,402 --> 00:19:39,585
How did you even
know we were here?
398
00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:43,255
Based on your recent
purchases, viewing habits and stored data,
399
00:19:43,408 --> 00:19:45,143
we determined that
you were being chased
400
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,904
through the wilderness
by the last two
401
00:19:46,928 --> 00:19:48,761
Blockbuster employees on Earth.
402
00:19:48,913 --> 00:19:50,246
Wow. Scary.
403
00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,523
I owe you an apology, Amazon.
404
00:19:52,675 --> 00:19:54,934
You're a pretty
amazing service after all.
405
00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:59,104
Yes, I agree. Amazon
workers should not unionize.
406
00:19:59,257 --> 00:20:00,567
I-I didn't... I didn't say that.
407
00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,942
Well, they sure can play
dumb when they want to.
408
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,110
Please stop spying on us, Alexa.
409
00:20:05,279 --> 00:20:07,354
Okay. Playing holiday music now.
410
00:20:20,703 --> 00:20:23,370
Well, that Blockbuster
adventure sure was fun,
411
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,108
but we should probably
just watch movies
412
00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:26,206
at home from now on.
413
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:27,874
You know, Dad, while
we were flying home,
414
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,636
I did order something
special for you.
415
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,047
Sliver! We can still do
our old-school movie night.
416
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,566
I'll hook up the VCR.
417
00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:39,403
Aw, damn it, we can't watch it.
418
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:41,108
I don't have the
right adaptor cable.
419
00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:42,907
The last Circuit
City in the U.S.
420
00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:45,801
is in St. Augustine, Florida.
421
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:49,138
Let's go.
422
00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:50,806
I'll start the car.
423
00:20:50,825 --> 00:20:53,325
Looks like
the Griffins are at it again.
424
00:20:53,478 --> 00:20:56,812
Hi, I'm Jeff Bezos,
and I'm rich and bald.
425
00:20:56,905 --> 00:20:59,632
Guess which one
matters. Good night.
426
00:20:59,656 --> 00:21:01,656
>>>>oakislandtk<<<<<
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