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1
00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:15,632
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
2
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,042
(knock at door)
3
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:42,876
Come in.
4
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,046
Oh, hi, Ross.
Hi, Lucy.
5
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,330
Ricky isn't here right now,
6
00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:48,581
but he'll be back in a few minutes.
7
00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,417
That's all right.
I came over to talk to you.
8
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:51,918
Oh? Lucy, I just set Ricky
9
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:53,420
for a big spread in Photoplay
magazine.
10
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,921
Article, pictures, the works.
11
00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:57,724
Wow, wonderful. What did you want to
talk to me about?
12
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,142
Well, about the article.
13
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,143
You're a very important part of it.
14
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,644
I am?
Sure.
15
00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:03,646
You see, now that Don Juan is called
off,
16
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,149
we can play up the fact that Ricky is
married,
17
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,151
and the article is going to be
entitled "What it's like
18
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,937
to be married to Ricky Ricardo," by
you.
19
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:13,356
By me?
That's right.
20
00:01:13,356 --> 00:01:16,359
"What it's like to be married to
Ricky Ricardo."
21
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,361
You think you can handle it?
22
00:01:18,361 --> 00:01:20,864
Handle it? I'm an expert in the
field.
23
00:01:20,864 --> 00:01:21,614
Good.
24
00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:22,499
Hi.
25
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:23,500
LUCY: There he is.
26
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,501
Hi, Ross. Hi, honey.
27
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:26,002
Hi, Ricky.
You've been waiting for me?
28
00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,003
No. I came over to see Lucy.
Oh.
29
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,005
We were just discussing an article
about you
30
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:29,873
for Photoplay magazine.
31
00:01:30,373 --> 00:01:32,375
You and Lucy were discussing it?
32
00:01:32,375 --> 00:01:33,877
Yeah, it's called
33
00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:36,379
"What it's like to be married to
Ricky Ricardo"
34
00:01:36,379 --> 00:01:37,263
by me.
35
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,265
Oh, oh, I see.
36
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,767
You gonna write it and then you gonna
put Lucy's name...
37
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,269
No, no, Ricky. We want this to be an
honest, sincere account
38
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:46,272
of exactly the way Lucy feels about
you.
39
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,273
What's the matter with you?
40
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:48,775
You crazy or something?
41
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:52,729
What are you afraid of, Ricky?
44
00:01:57,233 --> 00:02:00,236
Haven't got enough "'sperience."
45
00:02:00,236 --> 00:02:02,989
I've been married to you longer than
anybody.
46
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,874
I don't mean that.
I mean you...
47
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,876
you haven't got enough 'sperience in
writing.
48
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:07,877
She doesn't need any, Ricky.
49
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,379
They gave me a list of questions.
50
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,631
All they want Lucy to do is fill in
the answers.
51
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:12,916
See?
52
00:02:12,916 --> 00:02:13,917
Well, uh, I guess it's all right.
53
00:02:13,917 --> 00:02:15,418
Well, fine. Here are the questions,
Lucy,
54
00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:16,419
and send the answers to that address,
huh?
55
00:02:16,419 --> 00:02:17,921
Okay. I'll do it right away.
56
00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:18,922
Well, I'd better be going.
57
00:02:19,422 --> 00:02:20,924
I'm setting up a big television show
for you, Ricky.
58
00:02:20,924 --> 00:02:22,225
Good!
I'll see you later.
59
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,593
All right. Oh, and Lucy,
60
00:02:23,593 --> 00:02:25,094
Yeah.
Don't be afraid of it.
61
00:02:25,094 --> 00:02:26,596
Put it down in your own words. Be
natural.
62
00:02:27,096 --> 00:02:28,097
LUCY: I will. Okay.
63
00:02:28,097 --> 00:02:29,599
Good-bye, Ross.
64
00:02:30,099 --> 00:02:31,100
Bye.
All right, thank you.
65
00:02:33,102 --> 00:02:35,605
Well, what kind of questions are
they?
66
00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:37,106
Well, let's see now.
67
00:02:37,607 --> 00:02:40,109
Question number one: "are you happily
married?"
68
00:02:40,109 --> 00:02:42,862
Question number two: "Does Ricky
snore?"
69
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,697
Question number three:
70
00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:48,201
"What kind of husbands do Latins
really make?"
71
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:51,087
(chuckling): Oh, this is gonna be
fun.
72
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,840
Yeah, yeah.
73
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,291
Ha, ha, ha.
74
00:02:56,292 --> 00:02:59,295
Uh... listen, uh,
75
00:02:59,796 --> 00:03:01,798
you, y-you sure you don't want me to
help you
76
00:03:02,298 --> 00:03:02,799
with the answers?
77
00:03:02,799 --> 00:03:03,800
No, no, no.
78
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,802
Now, I have to do this all by myself.
79
00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:06,803
Now, you go away and leave me alone.
80
00:03:06,803 --> 00:03:07,804
Go over there and sit down on the
chair
81
00:03:07,804 --> 00:03:09,022
and read your paper.
82
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,523
Yeah, well.
Just leave me be.
83
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,527
(sighing)
84
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,363
Let's see now, first question.
85
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:23,319
"Are... you...
happily married?"
86
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,640
Had you worried for a minute there,
didn't I?
87
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,642
Yeah.
88
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:49,646
Question number two: "Does Ricky
snore?"
89
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:06,613
What's that, all that other stuff
you're writing there now?
90
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:09,532
I'm just answering the question about
snoring.
91
00:04:09,532 --> 00:04:12,285
Yeah, but weren't the first two
letters, "n-o"?
92
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:13,953
They were "o-h."
93
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:15,204
"O-h"?
94
00:04:15,204 --> 00:04:18,625
And the second word was
"b-r-o-t-h-e-r."
95
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,927
B-r-o-t-h...
96
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,182
What's all that other stuff you're
writing there now?
97
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,468
Just a few descriptive passages.
98
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,471
(snorting)
99
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:32,221
(sputtering)
100
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,476
(sputtering)
101
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:41,481
(gasping and wheezing)
102
00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:43,783
(whistling)
103
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:48,821
(whistling)
104
00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:50,823
(chattering)
105
00:04:52,241 --> 00:04:54,577
(jabbering)
106
00:04:54,577 --> 00:04:56,546
Now, just a minute.
Just a minute.
107
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,047
I want to see, I want to see what
you're writing.
108
00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:00,049
No, no, no! Now just go away.
You can't see this.
109
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,052
Go back and sit down in your chair
and leave me alone.
110
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,054
Oh, all right. I'll go in the other
room.
111
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:06,556
All right.
112
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:07,557
Let's see now,
113
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:11,060
"What kind of husbands do Latins
really make?"
114
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,563
(door slamming)
115
00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:21,571
How'd you know I was here?
116
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,072
I heard you breathing.
117
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,575
Now, go on back.
Go on, get out of here!
118
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,076
Now, I got a right to know what
you're writing there.
119
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,828
You have no right to see this
120
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,196
until it comes out in the magazine.
121
00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:31,948
Now I mean it. Now go away and leave
me alone!
122
00:05:31,948 --> 00:05:33,750
RICKY: I got a right to know what
you're hiding.
123
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,001
LUCY: You have no right to see it
124
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,336
and I'm supposed to do the...
125
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,454
Come back here, you two!
I'm supposed to do...
126
00:05:38,454 --> 00:05:39,872
You go on and get out of here.
127
00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:41,374
ETHEL: Hey, what's going on?
128
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,376
I'm supposed to write an article
about Ricky
129
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,678
all by myself and he won't let me
alone.
130
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:46,879
An article?
131
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,381
Yeah, it's for Photoplay magazine.
132
00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:51,384
It's called "What it's like to be
married to Ricky Ricardo"
133
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,720
and I have a lot of questions I have
to answer.
134
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:57,140
Oh, boy, what an opportunity.
135
00:05:57,140 --> 00:06:00,643
I wish I'd get a chance to write an
article like that.
136
00:06:04,147 --> 00:06:07,450
Aah, who'd buy it-- True Horror
Stories?
137
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:11,904
Oh, you funny, funny woman.
138
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:13,239
All right, everybody,
139
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:15,241
I cannot create with a crowd around.
140
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,243
Now, look, Lucy, you listen to me...
141
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:18,244
Look, Ricky, I'll make a deal with
you.
142
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:19,746
If you'll go away and let me answer
these questions,
143
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:21,748
I promise I'll let you see them
before I send them in.
144
00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:23,082
You promise?
I promise.
145
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:24,500
Come on, Ricky.
We'll take you
146
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,002
down to Will Wright's and buy you an
ice cream soda.
147
00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:28,304
Now, Ethel, we're not going there
again today.
148
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:29,672
Yes, we are now, Fred.
149
00:06:30,173 --> 00:06:33,676
They've got 24 flavors, and I've only
tasted 20.
150
00:06:33,676 --> 00:06:35,428
Come on, Rick.
151
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:38,431
I'll need you to help me push her
through the door.
152
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:39,982
Take your time, everybody.
153
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,985
I want to do a good job on my first
big assignment.
154
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,438
Yeah, well, but just watch what, you
know...
155
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:46,939
Never mind now.
156
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,279
(phone ringing)
157
00:06:58,284 --> 00:06:59,285
Hello.
158
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:01,788
Oh, no, Ross. He just left.
159
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,290
You did?
160
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,291
Oh, that's wonderful.
161
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,126
Wait a minute now.
I'll write it down.
162
00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:10,129
"TV, Coast To Coast.
163
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:13,132
Ricky's gonna emcee the Heart Fund."
164
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:15,635
Oh, gee, Ross, that's wonderful.
165
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,136
Say, I don't suppose they might need
166
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,890
a pretty girl to lead the guest stars
up to the microphone, huh?
167
00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:23,192
Yeah, well, I happen to know a
redhead who...
168
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:25,695
Oh, they have.
169
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,197
Oh, well, okay.
170
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,199
Uh, say, Ross...
171
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:31,701
(laughing giddily)
172
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,203
I, uh, I just happened to have a
thought.
173
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:37,206
Ross, instead of my writing that
article for the magazine,
174
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,209
how about you getting someone to
interview me
175
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,212
and ask those questions about Ricky
on that program?
176
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,715
And that way, people all over America
could...
177
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,217
How's that?
178
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:50,219
Oh, well, all right.
179
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,221
I'll mail it into the magazine.
180
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:55,224
Okay. Yeah, I'll, I'll give it to him
the minute he comes in.
181
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:58,227
Ross? Ross, I don't know if I ever
told you,
182
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,229
but, you know, I play "Glowworm" on
the saxophone,
183
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,232
and I have sort of an act built
around it where I...
184
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,234
Ross? Ross? Oh, Ross?
185
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,656
Operator, you cut us off.
186
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,158
Oh, he did?
187
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,159
Okay, thanks.
188
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:42,939
Hi, honey.
189
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,440
Hi.
190
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,441
How's the article coming?
191
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,443
Fine. I'm all finished.
192
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,444
Good.
Hey, Ross called.
193
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,445
There's a message on the desk there.
194
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,446
Yeah?
195
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,449
Hey, this is great.
196
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:54,951
Television show Coast To Coast
197
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:56,953
for the Heart Fund, huh?
198
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,455
Yeah, Ross seemed pretty excited
about it.
199
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:00,957
Uh, Ricky?
200
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,458
Yeah.
201
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:05,912
About the television show, I have a
question for you.
202
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,330
Well, I'm pretty sure what it is
203
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,048
and I have an answer for you.
204
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,467
Well, I'm pretty sure what your
answer is
205
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:12,969
but let me ask it anyway.
206
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,637
All right.
207
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,138
Can I be on the show?
208
00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:17,139
No.
209
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:18,641
Ten seconds.
210
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,643
That's the fastest we've ever done
it.
211
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,563
That's all you're gonna say?
212
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,931
You're not gonna get mad or anything?
213
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:28,401
Why should I get mad?
214
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,354
I get a sinkin' filling in my stomach
215
00:09:31,354 --> 00:09:33,356
when you get that look in your face.
216
00:09:33,356 --> 00:09:34,857
Oh, don't be silly.
217
00:09:34,857 --> 00:09:37,360
Why should you get a "sinkin'
filling"?
218
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,862
After all, if you don't want me on
the show,
219
00:09:39,862 --> 00:09:41,080
that's your business.
220
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,667
Well, I must say, you're very
understanding.
221
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,953
Hmm, sure, just forget I asked.
222
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:47,954
Good.
223
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:48,955
Now, would you like to see
224
00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:50,339
my answers to these questions?
225
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,208
Yeah, I sure would.
226
00:09:52,208 --> 00:09:54,093
Which set would you like to see?
227
00:09:56,045 --> 00:09:57,546
Which set?
228
00:09:57,546 --> 00:09:59,515
Yes, I made an alternate set.
229
00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:03,019
These are about my dear, darling
husband
230
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,021
who's such a considerate angel,
231
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,522
and these are about the dirty rat
232
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,858
who won't let me be on the show.
233
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,278
You wouldn't dare.
234
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,230
Oh, wouldn't I?
235
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:15,648
But that's blackmail!
236
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:17,650
Oh, come now, let's not call it that.
237
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,151
That's what it is.
238
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:22,154
I know, but let's not call it that.
239
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:24,657
Now, would you like to hear me read
these?
240
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,158
Never mind, never mind.
241
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:27,660
I know when I'm licked.
242
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,161
Then I can be on the show?
243
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,162
Yes.
244
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:31,664
Cuban Scout's honor?
245
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,549
Cuban Scout's honor.
246
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:35,501
Thank you, dear.
247
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,477
Now then, what will we do on the
Heart Fund benefit?
248
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,479
I have a few ideas. Listen...
249
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,314
Now, if you don't mind, uh,
250
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,815
I'll decide what we'll do on the
show, all right?
251
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,317
Well...
252
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,819
After all, blackmailers can't be
shoosers.
253
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:56,989
I just want to make sure
254
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,825
you "shoose" something that shows me
off.
255
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:02,745
You just don't worry about that, all
right?
256
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,748
You just mail this thing and leave
the rest up to me.
257
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:06,999
I'll take care of you.
258
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,784
That's what I'm afraid of.
259
00:11:08,784 --> 00:11:11,704
No, no, really, I got something for
you to do.
260
00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:13,205
Something good.
261
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:15,007
Scout's honor.
262
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,676
Well, okay.
263
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:31,607
(piano playing)
264
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,109
Skiddereatheroo
265
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,110
Hey!
266
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,111
Skiddereatheroo
267
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,112
Hey!
268
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,616
Shake hands with all your neighbors
269
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,618
And kiss the Colleens all
270
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:45,905
You're as welcome as the flowers in
May
271
00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:53,796
In dear old Donegal.
272
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,716
Well, that's fine.
273
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,217
Great.
274
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,055
Yes, sir, that'll be great in the
show.
275
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,473
Hi, everybody.
Hi, honey. Hi.
276
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,474
Hi.
Hi.
277
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:06,475
What kept you?
278
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:07,977
Oh, honey, I had to wait for Mother
to get back
279
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:10,479
from the hairdresser's so she could
take care of the baby.
280
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:11,480
Oh, that's right.
But I'm here now.
281
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,481
Come on, let's rehearse.
282
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,733
Okay, let's see now.
283
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,067
Let me get your...
284
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,569
Here's your music.
285
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,021
Oh, boy! I get to sing, huh?
286
00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:20,523
La da...
287
00:12:20,523 --> 00:12:22,024
"Humoresque"?
288
00:12:22,024 --> 00:12:24,276
I'm not the "humoresque" type.
289
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:25,661
Why don't you let me sing a song
290
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,163
that's more of my style, like...
291
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,665
Let me go, let me go
292
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,450
Let me go, lover
293
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:34,703
Let me go, let me go
294
00:12:34,703 --> 00:12:35,671
Let me go, lover...
295
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,423
Wait. Hey, hey, hold on, lover.
296
00:12:40,709 --> 00:12:41,961
Look, after hearing that,
297
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,763
I'm tempted to really let you go,
lover.
298
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,464
Oh, stop.
299
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:47,967
Now, this is a very cute bit.
300
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:48,968
It's kind of a musical trick.
301
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:52,471
See, we sing two songs at dif... the
same time.
302
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:53,973
Two songs at the same time?
303
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,975
That's right, but they work out
together all right.
304
00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:57,476
Oh?
305
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:57,977
Fred, you know the bit, don't you?
306
00:12:58,477 --> 00:12:59,979
Sure.
You to show it to her?
307
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:01,397
Yeah, I don't mind.
Let Fred do it for you,
308
00:13:01,397 --> 00:13:02,898
then you can see what I mean.
309
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:04,900
You sing "Humoresque," and I'll sing
"Swanee River."
310
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:06,402
All right.
311
00:13:06,402 --> 00:13:08,404
(piano plays)
312
00:13:08,404 --> 00:13:10,239
One... two...
313
00:13:10,239 --> 00:13:12,708
Way down upon Song of many joys,
314
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:15,044
The Swanee River My magic song of
sweet rejoice
315
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,296
Keep ringing Until night is gone
316
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:20,749
Far, far away.
My humoresque.
317
00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:22,751
There's where my heart Let the music
play,
318
00:13:22,751 --> 00:13:25,754
Is yearning ever And let the smiling
stars display their beauty
319
00:13:25,754 --> 00:13:30,509
There's where the old folks stay.
In a gold arabesque.
320
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:31,844
Hey, that's wonderful!
321
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:32,845
I think I can do that.
322
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:33,846
You think so?
Yeah.
323
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:35,347
Okay. Here you are, honey.
324
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:37,349
Now, you sing "Humoresque" and I'll
sing "Swanee River."
325
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:38,350
(clearing throat): Yeah.
326
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:39,351
You ready?
Okay.
327
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:40,352
Give us a key there, Marco.
328
00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:41,854
(piano plays)
329
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:42,738
Give you two.
330
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,690
One, two...
331
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:47,193
Way down upon Songs of many joys
332
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:50,196
The Swanee River My magic song of
sweet rejoicing keep ringing
333
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:55,201
Far, far away.
My humoresque.
334
00:13:55,701 --> 00:14:00,005
There's...
There's where my heart is yearning
ever...
335
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,374
No, no.
336
00:14:02,374 --> 00:14:03,876
What's the matter?
337
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:05,878
You started singing "Swanee River."
338
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,379
You got to stick to "Humoresque."
339
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:08,380
You switched.
340
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,882
Oh, I thought something sounded
funny.
341
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:11,884
Well, I know "Swanee River" so much
better.
342
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:12,885
Why don't you let me sing that.
343
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:13,886
Oh, sure, honey, here.
344
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:14,887
Okay.
345
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,388
You ready, Marco?
Give us a...
346
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:17,890
(piano plays)
347
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:20,392
One, two...
348
00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:22,895
(off-key): Way, way, way, way, way...
349
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:24,396
Way
350
00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:27,900
Way down upon the Swanee River...
351
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:28,901
Wait, hold on, wait a minute...
352
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:29,902
What's the matter?
353
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:31,403
Honey, you got to wait for me.
354
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:32,404
We got to do it together.
355
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:32,905
Oh, yeah, yeah.
356
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:33,906
Okay.
357
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:34,907
(piano plays)
358
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:35,908
On two.
359
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:38,210
One, two...
360
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,129
Way down upon Song of many joys
361
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:43,632
The Swanee River My magic song of
sweet rejoicing keep ringing
362
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:47,636
Far, far, far, far away Until night
is gone, my humoresque.
363
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,638
There is where my heart
364
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:52,641
Is turning, turning, turning,
turning, turning
365
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:56,645
There is where the old folks stay.
366
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,015
You just can't do it.
367
00:15:00,015 --> 00:15:02,067
You can't do it at all.
368
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,352
What do you mean I can't do it?
369
00:15:03,852 --> 00:15:05,187
You said I could be in the show.
370
00:15:05,187 --> 00:15:07,106
Well, honey, I'm sorry, but I tried.
371
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:08,607
You can't do this and I got the whole
show routine.
372
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:09,742
There's nothing for you to do.
373
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,243
Well, gi-give me something else to
do.
374
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:12,578
I'm sorry, honey.
375
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:13,495
The whole show is already a routine.
376
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,831
There is nothing that you can do.
377
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,334
Oh, isn't there?
378
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,590
It's a good thing I didn't mail this.
379
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:29,461
I guess I'll have to mail them my
revised copy after all.
380
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:30,963
I thought you tore that up.
381
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,464
What did you do, paste it together?
382
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:36,852
No. I just saved a carbon copy in
case of an emergency.
383
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:40,105
And this, my Latin lover, is an
emergency.
384
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,392
Uh, yeah, well, wute...
wait a minute.
385
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,779
On second thought, I think there is
something
386
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:47,780
in there that you can do.
387
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,149
Oh. What is it?
388
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,034
It's a Spanish dance number.
389
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,485
Spanish dance number.
I can do that.
390
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:54,620
Come on, let's rehearse it.
391
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,955
Well, uh, if you don't mind,
392
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,457
I would like to go to the mailbox
393
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,795
and drop the right answers in the box
first.
394
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,663
Okay.
395
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:09,635
Honestly, did you ever see anybody
396
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,136
stick to an idea like Lucy?
397
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,139
She's a regular human mustard
plaster.
398
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,141
Where did Ricky go?
399
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,142
Oh, he went down to the corner,
400
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:18,510
but he'll be back in a minute.
401
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:21,013
Oh, I just wanted to check with him
on this costume.
402
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:23,015
It's for the Spanish dance-- the
matador number.
403
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,016
I'll catch him later.
404
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:25,017
Just a minute.
405
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,020
Does somebody's head go in there?
406
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,021
Yeah.
407
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:33,942
Uh, this isn't by any chance a
Spanish dance
408
00:16:33,942 --> 00:16:36,945
between a lady matador and a Cuban
bull, is it?
409
00:16:36,945 --> 00:16:38,414
No, Ricky's the matador.
410
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,416
I don't know who he's got for the
bull.
411
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:46,622
Oh, brother! What'll Lucy do
412
00:16:46,622 --> 00:16:48,924
when she finds out she's the bull?
413
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,794
She'll probably gore him.
414
00:16:51,794 --> 00:16:54,096
I think I'd better warn her.
415
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:58,434
Now, Ethel, do me a favor and keep
your big bazoo shut.
416
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,853
Okay.
417
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,854
Yeah.
418
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:05,858
(laughing)
419
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:06,859
What's the matter?
420
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,861
Oh, boy, this is a switch.
421
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,363
For once, the bull will be full of
Lucy.
422
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:14,366
(laughing out loud)
423
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,484
Shh!
424
00:17:15,484 --> 00:17:17,786
Well, we mailed it.
425
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:19,288
Let's get on with the rehearsal.
426
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,290
Uh, all right, now, here's how the
way
427
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,792
that the Spanish, uh, dance number
goes, you see.
428
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,294
Uh-huh.
I come out and I sing a few bars
429
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:26,795
and then you make your entrance.
430
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:27,746
Uh-huh.
431
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:29,248
Okay, now, you come from here,
432
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:30,749
and you come like this.
433
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,303
Like that?
434
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,754
Yeah, that's right. Like that.
435
00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:37,056
Go on. Try it.
436
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:37,840
Try it.
437
00:17:46,348 --> 00:17:47,850
No, no, no. No, honey.
438
00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:49,068
Don't, don't snap your fingers, dear.
439
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,819
Well, I'm pretending I have castanets
in them.
440
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:53,439
Well, the part you play doesn't use
any castanets.
441
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:56,358
No castanets?
442
00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,578
Do it again without the castanets.
443
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:04,450
Go ahead. Go on.
444
00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:05,951
(clearing throat)
445
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:11,457
Are you sure this is right?
446
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:12,958
That's right.
447
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,461
I've seen very few Spanish dancers
448
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:16,962
in this position.
449
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:19,765
Well, honey, the song explains the
whole thing.
450
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:24,636
I'm not by any chance a senorita with
lumbago, am I?
451
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:27,139
No, no. Let me explain it to you,
honey. Look.
452
00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:29,141
You see, at this part of the number,
453
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:32,144
I go back here and I take out a big
red cape.
454
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:35,614
And as you come on, I go, "Toro!
Toro!"
455
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,288
Toro?!
456
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,239
Yeah.
457
00:18:44,239 --> 00:18:47,242
Isn't that Spanish for bull?
458
00:18:47,242 --> 00:18:48,327
Yeah.
459
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:51,046
Ricky Ricardo, you tricked me!
460
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,464
Now, just a minute.
461
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:55,467
The bull is very important in this
number.
462
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,469
It's a very dramatic role.
463
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,470
Oh, sure.
464
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,471
It is, honey.
465
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:00,973
Now I'm out here, I'm doing this
number,
466
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,475
and when the bull comes in, you see,
you're just ferocious.
467
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,476
You're just fierce
468
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,979
and you're just stamping the ground
469
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:08,480
and you're pawing at it
470
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,982
and you're wild with rage.
471
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,316
Your only thought is to kill me.
472
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,235
You can say that again.
473
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,739
Well, look, honey, I have given you
your chance.
474
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:18,574
If you don't Oh.
want it...
475
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,992
Some chance.
476
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:20,993
Hey, Ricky.
477
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:21,994
Yeah.
478
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:22,995
The prop department wants to know
479
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,496
if this is all right,
480
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:24,997
or do you want them to make some
changes?
481
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:26,498
Yeah, this is fine.
482
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,750
It's silly of me to ask, but what is
that?
483
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,335
It's your costume.
484
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,119
My costume?
485
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:32,120
Yeah.
486
00:19:32,621 --> 00:19:33,622
Oh, she going to wear this?
487
00:19:33,622 --> 00:19:35,624
Well, I thought she was, but I guess
that...
488
00:19:35,624 --> 00:19:37,626
Uh, yeah.
489
00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:39,127
Yeah, I'm going to wear it.
490
00:19:39,127 --> 00:19:41,046
Well, good girl. Good girl.
491
00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:42,881
Shall I tell the prop department it's
all right?
492
00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:44,349
Well, now, let me see.
493
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,350
Yeah, I think it looks...
494
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,768
You know what I would like, though?
495
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:49,271
I would like a more ferocious, uh,
fierce look.
496
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:50,772
You know, like...
497
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:54,193
Let me see that again.
498
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,647
Could you come along and let them see
that expression?
499
00:19:59,147 --> 00:20:00,899
I could never describe it.
500
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,288
Hey, I'm surprised, Lucy.
501
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,290
I didn't think you'd go through with
it.
502
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,541
Yeah, what made you change your mind?
503
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,376
Well, Ricky's right.
504
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,879
The bull is very important in this
number,
505
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,381
at least he will be, shall we say,
506
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:19,384
with a slight change of personality.
507
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:24,389
(trumpet fanfare playing)
508
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,391
(applause)
509
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:31,480
(upbeat music playing)
510
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,982
Shake hands with your Uncle Mike, me
lad
511
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:35,984
And kiss your Cousin Kate
512
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:39,488
She's the one you used to swing a-by
the garden gate
513
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,690
Shake hands with all the neighbors
514
00:20:41,690 --> 00:20:43,191
And kiss the Colleens all
515
00:20:43,191 --> 00:20:45,744
You're as welcome as the flowers in
May
516
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,529
In dear old Donegal
517
00:20:47,529 --> 00:20:49,331
Yi-hee-hee Skiddereatheroo
518
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,833
Skiddereatheroo
519
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,835
Yi, yi, yi, yi
520
00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:55,337
Yi, yi, doo
521
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,122
Shake hands with all the neighbors
522
00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:59,041
And kiss the Colleens all
523
00:20:59,541 --> 00:21:03,545
You're as welcome as the flowers in
May...
524
00:21:03,545 --> 00:21:10,936
In dear... old... Donegal.
525
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:14,439
(song ends, but musical refrain
continues)
526
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,192
(applause)
527
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:23,115
(music stops)
528
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:28,120
(trumpet fanfare)
529
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,127
(waltz playing, applause)
530
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:44,136
I am Fernando the Matador
531
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,472
I fight the bulls as you see
532
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:51,343
I'm known far and near, face death
without fear
533
00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:54,646
Fernando the Fearless, that's me
534
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:58,016
Ole! Ole! Ole!
535
00:21:58,016 --> 00:22:02,020
Fernando the Fearless, that's me
536
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:05,524
Ole! Ole! Ole!
537
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:08,527
As fearless as fearless can be
538
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:14,533
Today I meet Toro the Terrible
539
00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:18,036
He's mean and he's brave and he's
tall
540
00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:21,540
A shiny black hide with a devil
inside
541
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:24,926
El Toro, the king of them all
542
00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:28,430
Ole! Ole! Ole!
543
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:32,217
Fernando the Fearless, that's me
544
00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:35,604
Ole! Ole! Ole!
545
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:38,890
As fearless as fearless can be
546
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:44,479
(trumpet fanfare)
547
00:22:44,479 --> 00:22:47,866
(slow-tempo music playing)
548
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:50,369
The trumpets blare
549
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,371
Let the contest begin
550
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:54,873
The gates open wide
551
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:58,377
The bull rushes in
552
00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,378
Toro!
553
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:00,328
Toro!
554
00:23:00,328 --> 00:23:03,382
(brisk lively music playing)
555
00:23:17,929 --> 00:23:20,098
The arena is hushed
556
00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:22,934
There is no sound
557
00:23:22,934 --> 00:23:25,237
He lowers his head
558
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:28,607
And paws at the ground
559
00:23:30,442 --> 00:23:31,743
Toro!
560
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:34,413
Toro!
561
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:35,747
Toro!
562
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,670
Closer and closer
563
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:43,922
He lunges by
564
00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:46,291
With a look of anger
565
00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:49,177
And hate in his eyes
566
00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:54,850
Toro!
567
00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:02,557
The fight rages on
568
00:24:02,557 --> 00:24:05,060
Beast against man
569
00:24:05,060 --> 00:24:07,562
The blood will soon
570
00:24:07,562 --> 00:24:11,399
Run red on the sand
571
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:31,586
El Toro is weary from my attack
572
00:24:31,586 --> 00:24:34,556
To show who is master
573
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:37,058
I turn my back
574
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:38,560
(thump)
575
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:52,691
I take out my sword
576
00:24:52,691 --> 00:24:55,777
The end is near
577
00:24:55,777 --> 00:25:02,417
The moment for the kill is here
578
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:03,418
(cymbals clashing)
579
00:25:04,419 --> 00:25:05,921
Toro!
580
00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:09,257
(lively music playing)
581
00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:11,259
(waltz playing)
582
00:25:13,261 --> 00:25:13,762
(cymbals clashing)
583
00:25:14,262 --> 00:25:15,263
(thump)
584
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:21,937
I am Fernando the Matador
585
00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:24,439
I kill El Toro today
586
00:25:24,439 --> 00:25:25,223
Ole!
587
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,226
(upbeat music playing)
588
00:25:31,229 --> 00:25:32,731
(applause)
589
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:37,118
(finale playing)
590
00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:49,030
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
591
00:25:52,534 --> 00:25:54,536
ANNOUNCER: Ross Elliott played
himself,
592
00:25:54,536 --> 00:25:56,538
and the prop man was Ray Kellogg.
593
00:26:11,553 --> 00:26:14,506
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
594
00:26:14,506 --> 00:26:16,508
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
595
00:26:16,508 --> 00:26:18,843
will be back next week at this same
time.
40391
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