All language subtitles for AAWSSSSSSglish

POLICEMAN

Thank you for taking
the job on such short notice.

I am ready.

You are getting
the new and improved me.

Since I've been working
with Barry,

I am experiencing a calm
like never before.

Never.

Like, I'm less reactive
to situations,

I'm more accepting
of people's shortcomings.

I was a little uncertain
about coming back to work,

You put peace out in the world,
you get peace back.

I think your new therapist
might be forgetting

what you do for a living,
little Ladybug.

Ladybug? Mm-hmm.

Your new operational name.

Ladybug? Really?

You don't like it? You like it?

I like it.

Well, if you like it,
all right.

Oh, I see what you're doing.

Ladybugs are supposed
to be lucky. Ha, ha.

You don't have bad luck.

Really?

My bad luck is biblical.

I'm not even trying to kill
people and someone dies.

That's an exaggeration.

It is? My last job?

The political blackmail photos?

I voted for you. Remember the suicidal bellboy

climbed to the roof
of his hotel,

couldn't take it anymore?

Seems more like
his bad luck than yours.

Hang in there, buddy!

And he didn't die.

Okay? You drove him
to the hospital.

It's good luck.

All in how you frame it. Sure.

Gotta say I like it here.

I could live here.

I like the atmosphere,
the people are considerate.

Except for that guy.

Why is this job paying
so well?

It was supposed to be Carver's,

but he's got
some stomach thing.

Carver? You know,

and he doesn't
do snatch and grabs.

I'm filling in for Carver?

Y-You picked me second
to Carver?

You said you wanted simple
for your first job back.

Doesn't get simpler.

Shit.

Shit what? I think I must have

lost the key when that guy
bumped into me.

What's the number again?

Five twenty-three.

Momomon.

Carver.

What an ego.

I mean, talk about a candidate
for self-improvement.

I mean,
calling in sick?

I mean, what is that,
high school?

Mm. I can hear
that personal growth.

I know I'm being judgmental.

I need to... work on that.

But, Jesus, what a douchebag.

You have the strangest
requests-- firecrackers?

I'm industrious.

Please tell me you didn't
order the sleeping powder.

Nope. You almost gave that bodyguard

in Anchorage a heart attack.

I've worked on the dosage.

Take the gun.

Hai.

This train is bound for Kyoto.

Hai. Domo.

I'm gonna assume
you didn't take the gun?

Barry says every conflict

is an opportunity
for a peaceful-- what was it?

And your handler says
some conflicts require a gun.

Shit.

Okay, I'm on.

Well, that's a start.

Hey, this is nice.

Economy?

You know, I'm thinking
of starting my own agency.

You know, all simple jobs,
all the time.

That's a terrible
business plan.

No more sociopaths,
no more maniacs.

Just quality people.

Barry says it's time for some
change. I think he's right.

Barry does not know
what you do for a living.

Okay, here we go.

ten economy, six first-class,

and remember, only one minute
stop at every station.

Bloody fuckin' hell.
Do you mind?

What is he,
fucking blind or something?

Hey, hey, hey. Come on.

Oh, come on,
nicking...? No.

You don't have to nick
the biscuits, man.

Oh, no.

You all right?
Okay, cool.

- Yeah. Fucking asshole.
- Thank you.

Why'd I do that?

It's like I got a compulsion
or something.

I have to take it if I see it.

Need to talk to someone.
Serious.

A goldfish biscuit?

I mean,
I don't, I don't understand it.

Okay,
simple snatch and grab.

What am I snatching
and/or grabbing?

A briefcase.

Intel says there's
a train sticker on the handle.

Briefcases have owners.
Owners are not simple.

Mm-hmm. And last update says

the owners will be
in economy class.

O-Owners, plural?

Why didn't you tell me
to bring that gun?

I did. You chose
spiritual enlightenment.

Please.

Ticket.

Hold on.

Ah, no, no. Receipt.

Oh.

Shit, I think
I dropped my ticket, too.

Uh, that receipt shows

I bought a ticket,
though, right?

One stop.

Yep.

Domo arigat...

I thought they bowed here.

You found her.

- Oh, Lemon.
- Tangerine.

You're bleeding, mate.

Oh, mate, shit.

- Oh, shit, man.
- Oh, fuck.

Who the fuck did I kill?

Get a Wet One on it
or something.

- Oh, it's not mine, mate.
- Oh, it's not yours?

- Yeah. I don't bleed.
- Oh, in that case,

just leave your jacket open,

let everyone have
a good old look.

Yeah, I want everyone
to see my tie.

Yeah, yeah.
Fuck is wrong with you?

Pull your coat together
so no one else notices, Lemon.

I think they'll notice
the childish code names first.

But if we're gonna
stick with fruit,

why not, uh, apple or orange?

So, what's in this case?

Are we doing this?

You know what's in the case.

Money.

It's always money.

Tangerines are sophisticated.

Oh, now he's callin' a fruit
sophisticated.

Yeah, it's cross-hybridized
with other fruit.

They're adaptable.

Like me.

You said six cars in economy,

say 30 passengers per car,

guessing two bags per,

let's see, uh,
times two and you carry...

Yeah, no fuckin' way
I'm gonna find one brief...

- Wait.
- What?

Train sticker on the handle? Yeah.

Holy shitbox.

- And why am I Lemon?
- 'Cause you're sour.

- No one likes lemons.
- That's bollocks, mate.

- Lemonades, lemon drops.
- You got a sore throat?

- Lemon meringue pie.
- When was the last time

- you ate a lemon meringue pie?
- Lemon drizzle cake.

I'm sorry,
are you talking about lemons?

I have the case.

Well, that's great.

Is it? Yes.

What's the catch? There is no catch.

There's always a catch.

Get off the train.

Quite like lemons,
I just hate code names.

Oh, well, look at this.

Sleeping Beauty.

Wakey-wakey.

Eggs and bakey.

Where am I?

You're safe now.

Your father sent us.

- You idiots work for my father?
- Ooh, easy.

We could deliver you back
to your pops in a box.

Technically,
we're outside contractors.

I'm Tangerine.

He's Lemon.

Like the fruit?

You ever watch
Thomas the Tank Engine?

Here we go.

Hey, you watch
something nowadays,

what is it, huh? Nothing.

It's twists, violence, drama,
no message.

What's the point? Huh?

What are we supposed to learn?

Everything I learned
about people

I learned from Thomas.

Oh, yeah? And you bring
your sticker book, did ya?

I always bring my stickers
with me, you know that.

Take Tangerine here.

He's a Gordon, this blue one.

And Gordon is the strongest,
the most important,

but he doesn't always
listen to others.

What's that, now?

I mean, some people
wise, kind.

hardworking, strong.

Some people are Diesels.

Fuck me!

Those are trouble.

You, though...

Yeah, you seem like a Percy.

Young. Sweet.

Not all there.

You finished, both of you?

- Yeah.
- Right.

Your daddy hired us
to get you out of the trouble

you got yourself into,
didn't you, naughty boy?

Why are you... Wh-Why are you
T-Tangerine, though?

Oh, it's sophisticated, mate.

Oh, fuckin' hell.

It's not important, is it?

What is important
are the 17 dead bodies we left

getting you back from
the triad that kidnapped you

with the plans to ransom you

to your extremely psychotic
fucked-up father.

Actually, it's 16.

What's that, now?

- Sixteen kills, mate.
- No, it was 17.

It's... 16.

Lemon, you're startin' to get
on my tits.

- Sixteen.
- I'll smash my fucking head

through a brick wall.

That'd help your memory--
it was 16.

The fuck is wrong
with you, man?

It was 17, goddamn it.

I want to strangle you now.

You mind if we do this now?

- We'll get it sorted.
- Oh, don't worry about him.

- Couldn't give a shit.
- Go ahead.

One.

Two and three.

Five guys playing poker.

No.

Keep moving!

- Big guy.
- Yeah, big guy.

Sometime today!

Ten.

Three assholes with swords.

Fucking get it. Fuck!

Why do you always bring swords?!

Fucking triad.
I mean, you would, wouldn't ya?

You son of a bitch!

I like swords, actually.

Looks like it's time
for a Jaffa Cake.

- How about a Wagon Wheel?
- Oh, that works.

Swing!

Fourteen, fifteen.

And the prick
on the motorcycle.

- So 16.
- You forgot the poor,

- innocent civilian on the street.
- The fuck you...?

Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy.

You okay? Oh, my...

Shit.
That wasn't our fault.

- That wasn't our fault. No.
- Wasn't our fault?

Well, what would Thomas
the Tank Engine say, Lemon?

That's really mean.

He'd say, "Hey,
take responsibility, mate."

He doesn't sound like that.

Gonna put a little distance
between me and the owners.

Are you nervous? Yeah, I'm nervous.

You sound nervous. 'Cause I am, in fact, nervous.

Hey, listen,

I'm just gonna get off
at the next stop.

Oh, let's, uh,
have a seat, then, huh?

Do you know what they call
your papushka?

Course I fucking do.

The White Death.

- Not exactly a fruit.
- No. There you go.

There's a story--
stop me if you've heard it--

where this woman found herself
in the unfortunate position

of owing your father
a tidy sum of money.

Now, the issue was

it took her some time
to acquire this money.

But she did pay it back
five minutes late, didn't she?

- Yeah, what'd he do?
- Cut their arm off.

- Fuckin' hell!
- Yeah.

He said she owed him a finger
for every minute.

Oh.

Anyway, he's not a monster.

He didn't make her
sit through it five times.

He just cut once, didn't he?

Ow.

This is too easy.

You're overthinking it.

You're underthinking it. It's not a word.

Yes, it is. Really?

I think it is. Did you google it?

Doesn't matter.

What would Barry say?

Barry would say,
"A negative outlook

leads to a negative outcome."

Wow. How much
do you pay him again?

Our job is to keep you safe

and to recover the briefcase
with the ransom money inside.

And I plan on completin' my job
and keeping...

- Lemon.
- Hmm?

Where's the briefcase?

Oh, I stashed it.

The case, Lemon.

Go get me the fucking case.

Hmm. You're a liability,
you know?

To my father.

Hmm?

He doesn't need a reason
to kill people like you.

He needs a reason not to.

Does he have one?

That's fucking confusin'.

Hello?

Do you have White Death's son?

What, you mean this dickhead
with the silly face tattoos?

Yeah, he's sat right here. And the briefcase?

Yes, of course,
I've got the case.

You will both deboard
at Kyoto Station.

Damn it! Then your business with him

will be concluded.

It was just here.

Well, it's not anymore.

We need to find the person
who took that case.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe my luck
is starting to turn.

Yes.

Me.

But you are Yuichi Kimura.

And you came here

to kill me.

My parents call me...

That means "little prince."

Obviously, they wanted a boy.

You're going to want
to hear the whole story,

or you'll be very...
very sorry.

It's the hospital.

Hang on.

Hi.

Yes, you can see the boy now.

Good. If you don't hear
from me every ten minutes

or if I don't answer this phone
when you call...

I want you to go in there
and kill...

I'm sorry,
what's your boy's name again?

Wataru.

Right. Right.

...kill Wataru.

Aren't we glad we waited?

We got his son.
That was our job.

Our job was to come back
with his son

and his $10 million.

Three words describe
our situation right now.

Do you know what they are?

Saved his son.

Hmm?

Family's more important
than money, right?

Do you honestly not know
who the White Death is?

Yeah,
I know the White Death.

You just told me
five minutes ago.

He cuts off arms,
puts them...

Why do I even bother
forwarding you the briefings?

I do not know.

The Japanese underworld

used to be ruled
by a man named Minegishi.

Now, Minegishi
was one brutal bastard.

But he was old-school,
you know?

Tradition and loyalty
was all that mattered to him.

When you were in,
you were in.

You were like family.

He treated you like
you were one of his own.

Then out of the blue comes this
6-foot-fucking-6 geezer

from Russia.

Whispers that he
was exiled from

the Russian Mafia
or that he was ex-KGB.

No one really knows the truth.

But what is known
is this Russian...

...worked his way up the ranks.

Bit by bit, kill by kill.

And very, very fucking quickly

became one of Minegishi's
closest advisors.

And those loyal to him said,
"Hold your horses.

This geezer ain't
the full ticket.

He ain't to be trusted.

He's dangerous," they said.

"A modern plague," they said.

"A White Death."

So, sure enough,
they were right.

He made his own alliance.

His own gang.

And what'd he do?

Stabbed him in the back.

I mean, metaphorically.

Blew his fucking brains out,
didn't he?

He wiped the name Minegishi
off the face of the earth

in one single night.

And made an empire
worthy of the White Death.

So, let me put this bluntly.

There's this soulless
psychotic leader

with the largest criminal
organization on the planet

shoved right inside
our fucking ass cheeks.

That motherfucker's definitely
a Diesel, then, isn't he?

If you mention Thomas
the Tank Engine one more time,

I'm gonna shoot you
in the fucking face.

Okay, okay,
if-if he's such a badass,

how come he hired
two random operators

instead of getting
- his son back himself?
- Mm-mm.

'Cause if you actually
read the briefings,

you'd know
that he had a wife.

- What, he had a wife?
- Yes.

She was the most important
thing in his life,

and she died.

Drunk driving accident
or some shit.

And now he's at the compound
and he ain't left since.

An unnamed locomotive
might say there's a lesson

- to be learned.
- Listen, and he didn't hire

two random operators, Lemon.

No, he asked for the best.

He asked for
the two responsible

for the Bolivia job.

He asked for pros

who wouldn't fuck up.

Three words, Lemon.

We are...
Fucked.

What do you want?

People think that
I'm just some young girl.

Someone's future wife, or...

...future mother.

But I'm not in
someone else's story.

You're all in mine.

The fuck does that
have to do with me?

You work for the most

The White Death.

Oh, deny it all you want.

But you work for someone

who works for someone else,
et cetera, et cetera,

and it all falls under
the same person.

You delivered a briefcase
two days ago

to one of the White Death's
associates...

...and I saw my opportunity.

Follow the case
and find the White Death.

Don't know what you think
I can do for you.

Oh, that is my favorite part
of the story.

You're going to kill him
for me.

How the fuck am I
going to kill the White Death?

You'll see.

Oh, look at that.

We are right on schedule.

Sit back, relax a little bit.

You look so tense.

Momomon.

We rescued
his fucking son, huh?

We find the fucker
who took the briefcase,

make things right,

- be like it never happened.
- Never happened.

You still got that vest on ya?

Oh, no, vests give you
a false sense of security.

You might, like,
get shot in the neck.

Yeah, it also stops you from
getting shot in the chest,

but I guess you missed that
episode of Thomas, did ya?

I really must've, because
that sounds dark as shit.

Nut up or shut up, bruv.

Well, so,
slight change of plans.

Ho!
Oh!

First his wife, now his son?

That's a lot of white deaths.

Sí.

!¡Felicidades!

No!

You stabbed me?

You ruined my life.

I don't even know you!

I come here for revenge.

The assassin
who killed El Saguaro

killed my wife.

Ooh!

Can we just
take a time-out here?

Talk this out?

I will never stop
coming for you.

What?

Run as far as you like.

I will find you.

Why?

And I will ruin your life

the way you ruined mine.

Dude,
I don't even know you!

What the...?

Wow.

Really?

Let this be a lesson
in the toxicity of anger.

Venezuela, Uruguay,

Barcelona.

Who are you?

Mmm.

We'll make a brief stop
at Shin-Yokohama...

All right, mate, try these.

- Huh?
- They're them Momonga glasses.

The fuck is a Momonga?

Comes on after Thomas
every Thursday.
Okay.

Oh, sh...

Okay.
It's good.

- Just like that.
- He should look asleep, you know.

- There, like that.
- Like that? Right.

Uh...

Mmm.

Wasabi.

We gotta make sure he doesn't
step a foot off this train.

You see the case,
deal with whoever has it.

All right,
how do I do that?

Talk to him,
or, like, talk to him?

I don't know,
why don't you tell him

about the story
about how Gordon met Percy

and how Percy's now bleeding
from his fucking eye sockets!

He means kill him.

We'll make a brief stop
at Shin-Yokohama.

Fuck. Damn it.

Well, excuse me.

You are
fuckin' excused.

Arigatou.

Konnichiwa.

Joburg.

I'm sorry, buddy.

Give...

Give it!

Ah... shitballs.

That wasn't a minute.

I missed my stop.

Why?

Because God hates me. No, she doesn't.

Do you still have the case? Yeah, I stashed it.

Get off at the next stop.

Ah, it sounds so easy
when you say it.

Does the name El Cigarillo
mean anything to you?

El Saguaro?
The cartel boss?

Yeah, why does that sound
so familiar?

He was in the wedding
you infiltrated in Mexico.

Tequila?

You were the cocktail server.

The groom.

I knew I recognized that guy.

I'm really good with faces.

Wait, what guy?

Sorry. Be right back.

The guy who stabbed me.
I spilled wine on his suit.

- He's dead now.
- You killed the Wolf?

It was an accident.

I'm really gonna have
to process

my part in the incident
on Monday.

Shit. Fuck! No.

Shit fuck what?

Remember those two
wackos from the Bolivia job?

- Killed all those people?
- The Twins?

Yeah, I'm not so sure
they're twins.

Stop it.
Everyone knows they're twins.

Well, one of them is walking
towards me right now.

I think I saw the other
on the platform.

- Well, now we know

who the owners of the case are.

See, this is exactly
what I'm talkin' about.

We have to have a hard
discussion about the caliber

of people we are surrounding
ourselves with.

Why are we whispering?

Hello.

The White Death
would like to know

why you stepped off train.

Wanted some fresh air.

Your orders were
to stay on the train.

I didn't realize
I was gettin' a babysitter

to come cut my bollocks.

I'm a professional.

We're making sure the case...

...and his son
are perfectly safe.

Can I please go do my job now?

If something has gone wrong... Oh, very kind of you.

Thank you very much.

Fuck me! Jesus Christ.

It's very rude,
talking on the phone,

on the train. In Japan.

This rude enough for ya,
ya fucking prick?

Shove that fuckin' hat

up your fuckin' asshole,
you hear me?

Fuck this job.

I knew we should've got
an upgrade, fuck all.

I beg your pardon, sorry. I...

...wasn't aware there was a
young lady present. Apologize.

Yeah, you didn't happen
to see someone

come by with
a silver briefcase, did ya?

There's a little train sticker
by the handle.

Actually, yeah.

Um, a man with black framed
glasses had it.

He went that way.

Thank you, love.

That fucking bastard.

Come on.

"Guy in black glasses.
Stop him."

Hi.

There's a gun under this...

Whoa. This is the quiet car.

Gotta use your small
inside voice in here, son.

There's a gun
underneath this table

pointed right at you,
so I would...

I can't really hear
what you're saying.

There's a gun...

I'm just fuckin'
with you, mate.

It's been a long time
since Johannesburg.

Yeah. Who the fuck are you?

Really?
You don't remember me?

You look like every white
homeless man I've ever seen.

Okay.

Well, I have something
I believe you're looking f...

- Really? You don't remember me?
- I'm sorry, mate.

Huh?
I remember Johannesburg,
but I don't remember you.

All right?
You shot me.

- I shoot a lot of people.
- You shot me twice.

Ow!

Well, you also have
a shootable face.

I know you're
Black Framed Glasses.

The cheeky fucker
who took our briefcase.

Yes. Yes, I am.

Hmm.

You know, I've done
a lot of personal work

since Joburg.
Oh.

I've forgiven, I've moved on.

I've learned that
with any potential conflict

there's an opportunity
for growth,

a path to a peaceful outcome.

- Interesting.
- Who is that?

I have no idea.

How did you know
that was there?

Didn't I mention?

I've always been lucky.

It was then that I took a long,
hard look into the mirror.

And you know what?

Buddy, I didn't like
what I saw.

Nope. Nada.

Mm.

Until I did.

You know?
Mm.

Between us now sits a wall.

Mm-hmm.

But it's an illusion.

For within every wall, uh,
awaits a window...

Oh, wait, it's-it's a door.

Real quick, um,

every day is a fucking headache
with you, innit?

Right.

You and your partner...

Look, I'm Lemon,
he's Tangerine.

Okay, Lemon... Like the fruit?

Blessings.

Mm.

- What's your plan here?
- Here's the plan.

I give you back your case,
you don't kill me.

You give your case
to your employer,

he doesn't kill you.

You're alive, I'm alive,
everyone's happy.

Win-win, don't you think?

How do you know
whoever hired you

won't kill you
for failing your job?

Lose-lose. No happy.

Man, I just want
to get off this train,

go see a Zen garden
and some shit, you know?

I'd like to accept your offer.

Great.
But then you
went and killed someone.

Didn't you?

How did you know...?Wasn't exactly subtle.

Uh, it-it was an accident.

Tragic.

- Bizarre, even.
- That's a...

cool story, bro, but, um,

I think you had
your own plans

of getting out of here
with that case.

- No, no.
- Pinning a body on us.

Hoping the White Death
is so busy

cuttin' off our arms instead
of cuttin' off our fingers.

It's like Thomas

"Simple is better."The kids' show?

Yes, the fucking kid...
Man...

I learned everything
about people from Thomas.

Everything.
Really?

That's how I can read
people like you so well,

- and you are a Diesel.
- Huh.

I am not a Diesel.

You're the Diesel-est Diesel

that ever fuckin' Diesel-edNot even close.

that I've ever seen
in my life, man.

'Cause Diesels bluff,
they go too far.

Man, I'm trying to get Diesels
out of my life, you know?

If there was a gun
under this table, yeah,

I'd be as dead
as that kid over there.

Hmm?

Ooh.

- Mm-mm. Uh-uh.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

No-Nope.

You mother...

Oh!

Have the courage to listen.

Come on, Joburg.

No.

Shot number three.

No, no, no.
I ain't got the time

or the patience,
let alone the interest.

Fucking hell.

Are you following me?
Stop!

Asshole.Ow.

I'll call the conductor!

Eat a bag of dicks, lady.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm-I'm working on it.

I'm not a Diesel,
you're a Diesel.

Ow!

There's another body here.

Of course there is. Not my fault.

And I believe it's the son
of the White Death.

Did the Twins I.D. you? Did you hear what I said?

White Death. Death. Death.

Snatch and grab, my ass.

There's someone else
doing a job on this train.

The Twins. We know that.

Again, not twins.

Loonies but not twins.

They're here for the kid,
but somebody killed the kid.

The guy with the knife.

The Wolf.

He said he came here
for revenge.

He just happened
to run into me,

because of course he did.

Now, get this.

The kid was poisoned
in the same way

as El Sbarro was
at the wedding.

It's El Saguaro.

The same killer? Yeah.

I'm like MacGyver.

Fuck!

Oh, shit.

What are you doing?

What's wrong?

Fuck this, man.

Fuck Carver.

Shit.

Oh, thank God.

For a minute there...

Jesus Christ,
you had a bit of a bosh, pal.

All right.

Five stations to Kyoto.

Better get tickety-boo.

Would you describe me
as someone

who lives in perpetual anxiety?

No, no.

Ah, fucknuts.

And if it wasn't clear,
I meant "yes."

The conductor.
I don't have a ticket.

Not sure that's
your biggest concern.

You don't understand.

This guy's like
Criss-fuckin'-Angel.

He pops up everywhere.

He slows me down,
Tangerine catches me,

I am dead.

Dead. Dead...

Hold on.

Hey, bro.

Want to make
an easy 200 bucks?

Is this like a...
like a sex thing?

Nope.

Oh, okay. I was...
I was kidding.

Uh, yeah, what's up?

What do you need, bro?

Momomon!

All right, game's up, big boy.

Where is the case?

Tell me, and I promise
I'll only shoot you enough...

Whoa, whoa, um...

Is-is this the sex stuff?

Twat!

Shit.

I-I do love an accent.

Come on.

Oops.

Picture it.

Picture what?

Well, the man.

Watching your son.

I wonder how he'll do it.

Maybe a pillow to the face.

Or maybe something clever.

Like an air bubble in the IV.

No, no. You hold onto it.

The innocent young girl act
doesn't really get you very far

if you're holding
a loaded gun.

Put it on speaker.

Be honest.

We're not finished.

You're going to sit here

and you're going to go through
every combination

until you open up that case.

Kid, that could take f...

No, no. It won't.

I'd start with
the low numbers.

Just a thought.

Fuck me!

- There he is.
- He-he got by me.

Yeah. Yeah, me, too.

Well, I guess
our best option now

is, uh, bring the White Death
the man who killed his son.

Yeah,
but Glasses didn't do it.

- I could give a rat's ass.
- No, I'm telling you.

I read him.
He's not the type, mate.

Uh, I'll tell you what,
do you like your arms?

You know I like my arms.

Well, then someone's got to
take the blame, don't they?

- That's you or me?
- You or me?

Shit, that asshole
stole my phone.

- You kidding.
- And my gun, Lucille.

- Oh, come on.
- That's my favorite gun.

- Son of a bitch.
- Fuck about...

Right, what?

Step off the train
at the next stop

with the briefcase
and the son.

Well, hang on,
didn't we say Kyoto?

You will still depart at Kyoto.

The White Death
wants to make sure

you are being honest
about situation.

Well, this is a waste
of our t...

All right, all right.

We just have to prove
we have a case we don't have

and a live son
instead of a dead one.

What are you thinking?

- The ol' Punch and Judy?
- The ol' Punch and Judy.

You were all told
to exit the train.

Yeah?

Well, unlike you,
I'm a professional.

I wanted to make sure
it weren't some yakuza trap,

but clearly not.

It's some fuckin'
'80s dance-off, innit?

Where is your twin?
Tangerine?

I'm Tangerine.

Lemon's keepin' the case safe.

And the White Death's son?

Yeah, he's there.

Wave to your
fuckin' fans, princess.

He's a fuckin' happy chappy,
isn't he?

But, uh, I've gotta pop
on the train,

you know, ten seconds left,
so ta-ra.

We'll stick to the plan,
depart in Kyoto.

Do us a favor,
get the fuck off my back,

will ya?

Okay.

Okay.

Whoa!

Okay.

Okay.

I mean, that couldn't
have gone better.

Yeah, let's hope
they buy it.

We need to find
that Glasses twat,

like, right
to the fuck now.

I'm gonna go up, you go down,
double back when you're done.

If you see him,
fucking deal with him.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Up is...?That way. Towards Tokyo.

Right.
Departing trains
are always moving down.

And, look, be careful.

Something else
is going on here.
Yeah?

Yeah, I still feel like
there's a Diesel lurking about.

I swear to God,
what'd I say?

What did I say?

I said I'll fucking
shoot you in...

- Shoot me in the face. Yeah.
- That's right.

Thomas still taught me
how to see people,

read them for real.

Yeah.

- And I'm never wrong, am I?
- No.

Glasses, he is not our guy.

Okay.

You shoot first and come up
with the answers later.

I always do.

And, Lemon?

Yeah, man?

You be careful, too.

Oh, man,
when this train's a-rockin',

don't come a-knockin',
right?

Ah, seven more minutes
and I am off this train.

Are you hiding in a bathroom?

Yeah. Have you tried
these smart toilets?

They're... a pleasure
to the senses.

If I had one in the chamber,

I would rock this bad boy
right now.

Boundaries.
We need boundaries.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Whoa there.

Oh, look at that.

I knew my luck
would rub off on you.

Fuck.

What the fuck are you doing?

I am doing the same thing

that I did to the gun
in your hand.

I'm just making things
interesting.

I'm hedging my bets,
you could say.

Fuck.

If the gun doesn't
kill him, the case will.

This thing could have blown up
in my hand at any point.

- No. No.

It's inert unless you fire it.

But don't fire it, you know
what I mean?

Unlike what I put
in this briefcase here.

This is very...

Well,
this is not inert at all.

This is...

Did you know
that there have been

31 attempts
on the White Death's life

from within
his own organization?

Each one,

he executed
with their own weapon.

Do you see
what I'm getting at here?

Kimura,
I brought you here to fail.

You push my son off a roof.

- Right.
- Bring me to this train,

frame me as an assassin,

here to kill the White Death,

and use my gun

that will blow up in his face?

Very good.

Very, very good.

It's a stupid plan.

It is...

a brilliant plan.

Occupied.

You remember that mob surgeon

that died mid-heart operation?

Yeah, he had a stroke, right?

No, that was the official
cover. He was poisoned.

The assassin goes by the name
of the Hornet.

Oh, my God!

He used boomslang snake venom.

It congeals the blood,

making you bleed
out of every orifice.

If the antidote isn't
administered within 30 seconds,

you're dead.

The same poison
that was used on...

El Sagardo.

It's El Saguaro.

What is the Hornet doing
on this train?

Well, whatever deal was made,

it wasn't done through
the normal channels.

There's something else
going on here.

It's still occupied, lady.

The Wolf must have figured out
who the Hornet is,

came here for revenge
for his wife, his boss,

came here to whack the Hornet.

Oh, my God,
did you just say "whack"?

I did. I'm bringing it back.

No, it needs to stay
where it was.

If I can figure out
who the Hornet is,

I can give him
to Lemon and Tangerine

so they don't whack me.

Really? Se... You see what I did there?

You're really proud
of yourself, aren't you?

Geez, they're usually
so polite here.

Lady, I'm so...

Oh.

That's cool.

Come here, you...

Bastard!

Come here,
you-you dirty fucking scum!

Ah, you bastard.

Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait.

I know who killed the kid.

I couldn't give a rat's ass.

Where's my fucking case?

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Excuse me.

Oh, no, thank you.
We're okay.

Oh, I-I would love
a bottle of water.

You know what? Do you have,
um, anything sparkling?

With bubbles? Hai.

That's the one. Thank y...

Domo arigato.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Bro, I just remembered
I gave all my money

to that guy to wear
my h-hat and glasses.

Could you?

How much for the bottle
of water, love?

Oh, there. No, you're welcome.

Yeah. A thousand yen.

That's ten quid for
that bottle of water, mate.

Mmm.

Mm.

Ta-ra.

Domo arigato.

Mmm.

You sure you don't want
to talk this out?

Not particularly, no.

Okay.

You fucking bastard! Fucker!

Come here, you little fuck!

I know who killed the kid.

Yeah? Where the fuck
is he, then?

He's on this train.

Oh, well, that narrows it down,
then, don't it?

Let go! Get off!

You gonna get that?

No.

You probably ought to get that.

It could be important.

Oh, okay,
maybe it's important.

Fucking hell.

Come here.

Yeah, what do you want?

The White Death says
to get off at next stop

holding the briefcase

or he will kill everyone
on that train.

Okay, yeah,
I can make it,

but, uh, Lemon, he's a little
tied up right now.

Both of you this time,

with the case,
or everyone dies.

Fuckin' paranoid, this lot.

You don't happen to have
the case on you, do ya?

No.

Yeah, I don't think
I'd reach Lemon in time anyway.

You still got his phone.

Do you have a gun on ya?

Don't like 'em.

Well...

...game's up, mate.

For what it's worth, you seem
like a right fucking asshole

and I'm glad you're gonna
fucking die with me.

That's nice.

Just curious.
Yeah?

Do they even know
what Lemon looks like?

Wow.

You two do look
like twins, huh?

Yeah, okay.
We got the case, now what?

You still take the train
to Kyoto Station.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Okay. We can do that.
Wonderful.

Hey.

- Have you opened the case?
- No, of course not.

Do you know what? I never asked
for the combination.

You know what I mean?
Keep it safe that way.

Yeah.

So no one gets greedy.

I know, I know.

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I-I have this
bad luck thing,

and I hit the thingOh, is that what you call it?

and it went...
So why the... What was that?

Why did you even bother
trying?

I was trying to sell it.
I was selling it.

Well, I don't think
they were in the market

for fucking dildos
and pantyhose, were they?

Ah, but...
they were buying it.

They were...

I was... I had 'em.

You proved you're
smarter than everyone.

You've won, kid.

Please.

Please, kid.

Call your man.

I'll do what you want.

Just...

leave my son alone.

Your son.

Do you know
how easy it was

to get him to follow me
up onto that roof?

Didn't think it would
take you three hours

to even realize
your son was missing.

You're a terrible father,
and your son is going to pay

for all the mistakes
that you've made.

You don't know anything
about life.

How hard it is.

You're just...

some spoiled girl
who breaks their toys

when Mommy says
she has to pick up.

Sorry. Pardon me,
I don't mean to interrupt

what's, uh, going on here,

but, uh, you wouldn't happen
to have seen a tiny white prick

with a pair of glasses
come through here, have you?

No.

What about a silver case
with a train sticker

by the handle? You seen that?

It's not ringing any...

Uh, Uncle Kimura,
have you seen

a silver briefcase
with the, uh, train...

Did you say "train sticker
by the handle"?

Yeah. On the handle...

That's unique....it had a train sticker.

No, I haven't seen
anything like that.

I think I'd remember.

Hmm.

I'm s..."Uncle Kimura"?

Yeah.
Y... Right.

Are you okay? That's...

Oh, yeah.
Never shave on a bullet train,

you know what they say.

Well, couldn't hurt
to ask, you know?

I'm just gonna keep
following him.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, no, it's all right.

- Go for it.
- Pardon me, "Uncle Kimura."

You guys, take care.

Just one thing, though.

Uh, most people...

most people assume "suitcase,"

you know, 'cause it's a train,
overnight and all.

But you...
you said "briefcase."

I never said "briefcase."

I think...

...I found my Diesel.

You know what's waiting
for us in Kyoto.

Mm-hmm.

We should just get off
this train. Now.

If you think I'm stepping off
this train without Lemon

or the case,
you must be mistaken.

Okay. Well, the case
is in the first-class lounge.

It's behind the bar,
it's in a trash can.

It's yours.

Me, I'm getting off.

I'm gonna
go find a temple

and reevaluate my choices
or something.

Ooh, that sounds very lovely,
but here's the deal.

I still need a fall guy.

Shit.

- You need a fall guy.
- Yeah.

No, I understand.
I-I get it.

It's a bit of
a conundrum, really,

'cause, you know,
I'm thinking,

"Do I hand him back
in one piece

"or do I chop you up
into little pieces

and stuff you inside
a fucking Momomon or not?"

That's what's going through
my head right now.

Hmm.

Or...

Oh, what?
You got a better idea, do ya?

You know, before us now
is just a wall,

but it's an illusion, man.

It's a construct.

You know, 'cause within
that wall sits a window.

A window of opportunity.

Damn it, it's a door.

It's...

Within that wall is a door.

I'm finding it very hard
to follow this story.

My point is,
that door is closing.

Which one is the Diesel,

which one is the Duck?"The Duck"?

It's a kids' show.

Thomas the Train Engine. Close.

Thomas the Tank Engine.

Please, mister.

This... this man,
he kidnapped me,

and he said that he's going
to hold me for ransom.

I'm sorry. I get captivated
by white-girl tears.

Bravo.
Common sense tells me

that this old,
shaky geezer here

is the one in charge,

but I'm really good
at reading people,

and something tells me
you are just not fucking right.

So... let's see here.

I mean,
I can't shoot you both.

Then I get no answers.

You know what, how about this?
I'm sure you'll love this.

We're gonna play a little game.

Huh? If you want
to play a game,

put both your hands up.

Perfect. I knew
you would like this.

You're gonna close your eyes,

and I'm gonna count to three.

And whichever one of you
is in charge,

you're gonna raise your hand,

and whichever one isn't,
you point at who is.

Now, if you both
raise your hands

or you both point
at each other,

I know you're both liars,
and the truth ain't in ya,

and then I'll fucking
shoot you both. Ready?

You-you said
you couldn't kill us both.

You'd get no answers.

- I did say that, didn't I?
- Yes.

Sometimes you gotta shoot first

and come up with answers later.

One.

...or if I don't answer
this phone when you call...

- Two.
- ...kill Wataru.

Three.

Am I dreaming?

Sorry, mate.

Not your lucky day.

I have a wire i-in my bag,

and I-I think
that we could use it

to-to lock the door
from the outside.

It was so scary.

He said that if I didn't
do what he said,

or if I yelled or anything,

that he would do awful,
awful things to me.

Then why didn't you
use this, then?

Yeah, he kidnapped ya
and, uh,

gave you his gun
to hold, right?

Easy.
No, no, no, no.
You see, he... No, um...

I... Please.

I don't know
how to use a gun.

I don't know.

- Please.
- Fuck me. You are fucking...

You are really good.

You sure you didn't study?

I mean, you're not even afraid
and your lip's quivering.

That's a tear. That is really
authentic, mate, like...

You're the Diesel.

I gotta kill ya.
I'm just...

Please, I'm just a kid.
Please.

- How do you do that?!
- I'm not...

I'm not...

It's really unbelievable.

Please. Please.

You...

You are...

I got, um...

It's fucking...
You stay right there.

Did you...?
What the fuck is happening?

Everyone loves lemons.

Fucking die!

I'm glad you enjoyed
the performance.

How did you do that?

I'm not sure.

Just lucky, I guess.

Tell Tangerine that...

Tell Tangerine...

Tangerine...

He's gone.

Tangerine is gone.

Getting off this train.

I'm getting that case,
and that's it.

Hello?

Uh, it looks like Yuichi lost
his phone on the bullet train.

You can pick it up
at Kyoto Station, though.

Kyoto... There's this Find My Phone app.

Oh.

Surprisingly accurate.

Bye.

God, he's got a great walk.

Mr. Wolf.

So you came to kill the Hornet.

Fuck, that thing is hot.

Momomomo.

- Momomon.
- Go.

- Momon.
- No. Lea...

Momomon.

The pastry chef.

Oh.

You stole my snake, bitch.

That was your...

We should really call
the authorities

'cause someone...

Take that, punk!

Hey, bitch.

One little prick from this,
you know what happens?

- Yes.
- Your blood congeals,

clogging your veins.

You bleed out of
your fucking eye socket.

I said yes!

Weak-ass bitch.

- Stop.
- I'm taking that case.

Give it!

I was promised my money.

- By who?
- Don't know. It was all online.

They said my money
was in the case.

What? Someone paid you
to have the kid killed

with his own ransom?

Wow. That's dark.

That is dark as...

Stop!

The Hornet stings, bitch!

Lady, you can have the case.

Oh, but you've seen
my face, bitch.

Thirty seconds before the venom
does its thing.

Oh.

You bitch.

Oh, shit, man.

Do you have a backup?

What do you think, bitch?

Oh, shit, man.

You don't have another one?

You gotta be better prepared.

I'm mansplaining,
I'm mansplaining again.

I'm sorry. It didn't...

Uh...
can I get you something?

Uh...

Uh... you don't seem like
a religious person.

Water? Would you...
Would you like some water?

No?

You want a blanket?

You want me to hold your hand?

Karma is a bitch.

Talk to me.

It's my bad luck.
It's bad luck on acid.

I-I-I-I gotta get off
this train.

Do you have the case?

Yes.

Are you lying on the ground
in the fetal position?

I'm not on the ground.

You need to get up.

How do you always know
what I'm doing?

Because I know you.

I could journal.
I should journal.

Ladybug. Ladybug. Man.

Breathe. Deep breaths.

We're almost there.
You just need to get up.

Right.

You have been lying
to me, my friend.

Well, cat's out of the bag
now, innit?

You were responsible
for keeping my son safe.

For keeping my money safe.

You know, I-I don't know
a thing or two

about being a parent,
but you know what I would do,

being that it's your son
and your money?

I'd stop crying
about your dead wife,

get off your fucking lazy ass,

come here
and finish the job yourself.

But as we're having a bit
of a heart-to-heart,

got a couple things to tell ya.

Your son's a complete bellend
and fuckin' deserves

to be bleeding
out of his eye sockets.

And as for your case,
I haven't seen it since Tokyo.

And I hope someone's
fuckin' found it,

put it all on red and having
a fuckin' wonderful time.

I will meet you
at Kyoto Station.

Oh, how wonderful.

I can't fucking wait.

I want to look into your eyes

when I kill you
and your brother.

My brother.

West Ham have taken it!

West Ham one, Chelsea nil.

Morning rush hour's rolling in
quite nicely.

Uh, what's your plan, mate?

You gonna fuckin' waltz up here
and blow my brains out

in front of the whole fuckin'
carriage of witnesses?

There is no one left
on that train.

I know.

I bought every ticket
until the end of the line.

Oi.

You.

I know you.

You're that girl, aren't ya?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I never forget
a face, me.

I'm so happy to see you.
Please help me.

Um, there's this man,
and he was holding me hostage.

He was wearing glasses,
and he killed my uncle.

And he also killed
this other man who,

I don't know,
he just kept talking about,

uh, uh, uh,
T-Thomas the Trains and...

Tank Engine.

Uh, yeah, right. Exactly.

But he killed both of them,

and then he said
he was going to get away

with some sort of money.

I don't know.

I'm sorry, darling.
I-I beg your pardon.

I don't know
who the fuck you are.

I'm just a girl who was
supposed to get off at Nagoya,

and then this man, he...That was fucking ages ago.

I know, but this man,
he just said

that I could be
a good backup plan

and that a pretty girl
makes a good hostage.

Yeah, well, he ain't
wrong there, but, hey, look.

Keep your fucking knickers on,
all right?

- Please just help me.
- All right, all right. Calm down.

Get off or do what the fuck
you like. You're free to go.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yeah, yeah.

It's all right. Go on. Take...

Yeah, I don't know
what you're doing here anyway.

Huh.

Are you okay?

Diesel.

The absolutely fucking worst.

Little shit-stirrer.

See, Lemon...

...God rest his soul,

was the don,

and he could read people.

See them for who
they really are.
What?

He was right.

There's been a Diesel

running up and down
this train,

causing all sorts
of fucking havoc.

And it was you
the whole fucking time,

you dirty little Diesel!

You made Lemon bleed.

And Lemon never bleeds.

Oh, my God, mister!

- Please help me!
- Ladybug.

Please!
Please help me!

- Bugger.
- You little shit.

- Please!
- What the fuck are you
doing, you bellend?!

You...Sir! Please!

Oh.

What?

- Diesel!
- What?

You fucking bellend!

You're a Diesel.

What the fuck?

Um...What the fuck?

He said that he was
going to kill you

and blame everything on you.

He also said that

there's someone waiting for us
at Kyoto Station.

Someone scary,

who would hurt me.

No one's gonna hurt you.

It's okay.

We're getting off this train.

We make the next stop,
we'll be fine.

Okay, kid, come o...

Kid, come on.

I can't.
My backpack is stuck.

What?

Leave it. Let's go.

- We gotta go, we gotta go.
- No. No, I can't.

Right now, young lady!

- No.
- It's our last chance.

No. No, no, no,
please come back.

Kid, please.

I'm scared. I don't want...

...to be alone, please.

I got it.

It's not your fault, kid.

It's... it's my luck,
not yours.

You got your whole life
ahead of you.

Make sure you do something
that brings you peace,

'cause everything else
is a pain in the ass.

And if you run into a guy
named Carver, he's a dick.

You can tell him
I said so.

Um...

I, uh, I...

I took this.
I didn't want to leave it.

The man had it,

and I thought
you could probably use it

to kill whoever's waiting
for us at the end of the line.

You're not going
to let me get hurt.

Be honest.

Be honest.

Really?

Right.
Uh, okay, fella.

You're creepin' me out,
so, if you don't mind,

could you just find
another seat,

like, way, way, way
down there?

And that way,
I won't have to tell you twice.

No.

You won't.

Let's just move.

Let me grab your bag.

Ow!

Was that a snake?

Would you know
where my son is?

Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Oh, fuck.

Wow. After everything.

You are the person

who pushed my grandson
off the department store roof.

Why?

Your son.

He was going to help me
kill the White Death

at Kyoto Station.

And that was the only way
to get him on this train.

The White Death.

That's right.

But he couldn't even do that.

So he's dead.

Just a few cars back.

They are both dead.

My grandson
was pushed off a roof.

What makes you think
I would leave him unprotected?

My grandson is safe.

And my son is not dead.

Listen, old man...

The only thing you know

about an old man,
young lady,

is that he has survived
much more,

and much worse,
than you.

I'll fucking kill him myself.

- Are you all right?
- That?

You're not gonna believe
this coincidence,

but I already got a dose
of antivenom in me today,

so I'm good.

Probably.

The girl...

Her intentions with you
were not honorable.

Yeah.

A blind man could see
you are the one in the dark.

I don't know
about a blind man.

She was pretty convincing.

What did you do to her?

I did not need to do
anything.

Fate will do what it wills.

Why...
why do you laugh at fate?

Man, fate for me is

just another word for
bad luck.

And that...

...that follows me around
like...

I don't know,
something witty.

My handler calls me
Ladybug.

She's witty.

Ladybug?
Yeah.

This is very lucky,
indeed.

No, she's being ironic.
She...

Ah, never mind.

I'm going to tell you
a story now.

- No, I'm good.
- It's short.

Really, I'm fine.

No, it's very quick.

No, no.

It's a good story for you,
I think.

I'm cool.

Here we go.

A long time ago,

I made a promise to myself...

...that I would provide
for my family

no matter what it cost.

I had risen to
a highly coveted position

within the Minegishi
crime family.

A man raised up
to take my place.

A man from the North.

I asked Minegishi
not to trust this man.

Minegishi told me
I had lost my appetite.

He was not wrong.

But neither was I.

I returned home

and found nothing
except ash and blood.

The White Death had taken
everything from me.

Almost.

Yuuichi!

Yuuichi.

Yuuichi.

I went into hiding.

I searched for a way
to strike at the White Death

without endangering
what I had left,

but he remained
forever out of reach.

I did not think

fate would ever give me
a chance to make things right.

Do you know what they call
a ladybug in Japan?

Tentoumushi.

As a boy, I was told
there is a spot on its back

for each of the seven sorrows
of the world.

You see,
tentoumushi is not lucky.

It holds all the bad luck

so that others
may live in peace.

I-I don't want to hold
the seven sorrows.

Everything that's ever
happened to you

has led you here.

Fate.

Well, that's a shit deal.

At Kyoto Station,

the White Death will arrive
on this train.

I will finally be allowed
to make things right.

My son is a few cars up.

If you could escort him
off this train...

Yeah, I don't see
the White Death

letting any of us
off this train.

You let me worry about
the White Death.

Okay.

Mr. Ladybug?

Your briefcase.

Thank you.

Oh, wow. Oh.

Well, he seemed like
a decent guy.

He shot me.

Mm, me, too.

Twice.

Still, he had another side
to him...

Wow.

Oh.

Oh, man.

Am I in hell?

Ah, fuck.

Eh, fuckin' vest, man.

Oh, you drank the water.

Where the fuck is my brother?

Aw, man.

You...

You were more like Thomas
anyway, right?

Fellas...

we need to come up with a plan.

You killed my brother.

You killed my brother,
you piece of shit!

I oughta...

Yeah, you, you,
you fucking shot me!

- Hey.
- I'll shoot you

in the fucking throat
next time,

and your partner
Keira Knightley!
Hey.

- I'll shoot the fuck out of her!
- Hey! Hey! Fellas.

When we are so quick to anger,
we are slow to understand.

Yeah, well, I'm fast
to kick your ass, though,

I swear to God.

Fucking piece of shit!

I should've put a bullet
through your ass!

When you point a finger
at someone in blame,

there are four fingers
pointing back at you.

Or th-three.

- That's weird.
- Fuck it!

That's it!
You know what I could do!

- We before me!
- Get off! Get the fuck off me!

You before fucking God...Gentlemen!

Get off me!

A plum does not resent
the hungry man

but the farmer
who planted the tree.

He resents the...
resents the farmer?

So how do plum-plums have
fuckin' resentments now?

Oh...So how can it resent?

Listen. The White Death
is the farmer.

So w-we're the plums.
We're the plums?

It don't make sense.

Why are you motherfuckers
using metaphors?

Look, he shot
my fucking brother!

You shot my son!

We prepare together,

or we die alone.

That's all
I was trying to say.

The White Death waits for you

with his army of assassins.

Killers from all countries.

But he has no idea

my son and I
are on this train.

If fate wills,
I will get my revenge.

I'll head for the back

and stop as many as I can.

I'll go to the driver car

and get us
the fuck out of here.

What are you gonna do,
Joburg?

I'm gonna buy us some time.

Hey, uh, fellas,
I'm looking for a Mr. Death.

Got his case here.

Hey, easy.

Hurt people hurt people.

I came to see you.

Hmm.

And to make you finally see me.

Mm.

Do it.

I came here
to kill you.

So kill me.

Kill me like you did all
the others who tried the same.

Do it.

Fucking do it!

Pow.

I see you, dochka.

We found the American!

What about the others?

They're all dead.

Uh, good news is
I have your case.

Ay, good news, good news.

Hurry.

Move. Let's go.

All right, Thomas.

Time for you to start up...

Oh, shit,
everything's in Japanese.

There is no episode
in Japanese. What the f...

Get on the ground!

Man, I got a bad feeling
about this.

We have no idea
what's in this case.

Man, what are you
talkin' about?

Uh, why is it always
gotta be us

that opens this shit?

Just open the goddamn case.

I'd like to keep
my fuckin' arms.

Uh, Mr. Death, if I may?

The shadow buyer, um,

who bought all our contracts,
got us all on this-this train--

uh, me, the Hornet,
uh, Tangerine, Lemon...

Ho!
Oh!

...that was you, right?

Yes, very astute.

I brought you on this train
hoping you'd kill each other.

Okay. Well, um...

if-if I could...

Why?

Why you do what you do?

You know, I've been asking
that very question.

If it's so safe,
why didn't he just open it?

What if it's a bomb
and it blows up in our faces?

You think these stupid masks
are gonna protect us?

My wife...

was taken from me.

I heard.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

It was a horrible accident...

- Horrible.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.

No.

Nothing in life
is an accident.

It was an assassination
attempt on me.

But fate...

...fate put two
wet work operatives,

twins,
on a job in Bolivia...

butchering my entire crew.

And I had to
go deal with it.

And he didn't hire
two random operators, Lemon.

No, he asked
for the two responsible

for the Bolivia job.

That is why

it was my wife
in the car that night,

not me.

Fate put my wife
in the hospital.

A piece of her rib
piercing her heart.

Only the most skilled
cardiovascular surgeon

could save her life.

But two nights earlier,
this surgeon was poisoned.

Oh, my God!

Fate.

Fate again.

They said my money
was in the case.

Don't want to sound judgmental,
but if you hired the Hornet,

you had your own kid killed?

Oh, yes.
Okay.

Oh, yes, I did.
The piece of shit.

Please, please.

That night, I told her...

I want you
to please pick me up.

...not to leave.

To wait for me.

But she promised
it was the last time

we would ever
bail him out of trouble.

I will come.
I will always come for you.

Well, I suppose she was right.

If I had amputated
that weakness

out of my life years ago,

she would still be
by my side!

Yeah,
it helps to process this.

I-I-I have a good therapist.

I loved my wife
very much.

She taught me
a valuable lesson.

If you do not control
your fate...

it will control you.

Mm. Mm?

So I took control.

I brought them all
here to die.

But now there is only one left.

Mr. Carver.

Wh...?
Uh... excuse me?

I'm filling in for Carver?

Calling in sick?

Fuck Carver.

The man who murdered my wife.

Bro.

- Just open it!
- Fine. You happy?

I'm not Carver!

He went that way! Come...

All right.

Oh, shit. Okay.

Oh, shit.
Something's happening.

Oh! Oh!

Excuse me.

Yep.

Ah, children.

You do the best you can
to raise them right.

Cockroach, I do not know
why you are here,

but move out of my way
or you will join your wife.

Our paths were destined
to return to each other.

Okay. Right.

Fuckin' slow down, mate.

Come on!

Hey, so far so good.

You can stop the train.

Uh, about that. I took
the velocity of the train

and divided it by the mass,

and I realized
that I don't know

how to fuckin' drive
a bullet train!

Dude, all you do
is talk about trains.

Man, Thomas is
a metaphor for life,

not how to actually drive...
Get down!

Shit.

I got this! Stop the train!

What?!

Hiyah!

English, English, English.

English, English. Brakes!

We're good! I got it!

No!

Hold on!

We're on the wrong track!

- Oi, Joburg!
- What?!

I'm sorry I shot you!

Actually,
it was, like, twice!

Oh.

Sorry?

You shot me twice!

- Oi!

I'm sorry I shot you twice.

Thanks, man!

That shows real growth!

Fuck! Fuck!

You are not ruled by strength.

You are ruled by fear!

Fear of the one thing deep down
you cannot control!

Fear of fate!

Hey, and I'm sorry
about Tangerine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I got another brother now.

Really?

Fuck no!

For old times' sake.

Ah.

Fuck it.

- Oi.

That'll be 20.

Let's go.

Oh, mate.

- Yeah?

I wanted bubble milk tea.

- How about a Wagon Wheel?
- Yeah.

Ho!
Oh!

Huh.

Uh...

Oh, fuck.

About your wife,
I had nothing to do with that.

It's a mistake.

I'm not Carver.

I only do
snatch and grab jobs.

The Carver,
I want the Carver!

I hired the Carver!

Yeah, no, he had
a stomach thing, man.

I'm just filling in.

You're filling in.

For what it's worth,
Carver is a dick.

The most cunning assassin,
maybe the laziest, but...

Aw, come on.

Just let it go, bro.

Do not call me "bro"!

Okay.

Ooh.

Oh.

Dude, did you see that?

What was that?

Dude.

Hey, about this plum.

Shouldn't the plum
give up all resentment?

Like...

Oh, my God.

It's my luck that delivered

my father's corpse
at my feet.

The narcissism
on this chick.

Untreatable.

Now I am...Okay, wait, wait.

Wait.
What?

What is with
this fucked-up family?

You need some suggested
reading, if I may.

Surviving Borderline
Personality Disorder.

- What?
- I highly recommend it.

Now I, I am the White D...

What was that?

Was that kar... was that karma?

Farewell, tentoumushi.

Tangerine.

Whoa.

Maria?

Take the gun.

Oh, my God,
did you just say "whack"?

We're almost there.
You just need to get up.

Did you come to rescue me?

Did you need rescuing?

You came to rescue me.

Please don't make me
regret it.

Okay, don't. Don't.

What's happening
to your face?

Are you, are you crying?

It's a lot to process.

I want you to know,
you are the greatest,

most wonderful handler

that I could ever have.

- Ever. Ever.
- Mm. Mm.

Do you think maybe there was
a little head trauma?

- Maybe.
- Little bit, yeah.

- A little light-headed.
- Yeah.

Need a banana?

Potassium might be good.

Have one in the car.

Hey, next time, take the gun.

Don't listen to Barry.

Okay? Simple?

Stop it.

Shh. Stop.

You know, I think you were
right about one thing.

Usually am. Come on.

Maybe it is just about
how we frame it.

Like, maybe there's no bad luck
or good luck.

Maybe we're all just
agents of fate.

- Ooh, nice car.
- Yes, it is.

Try not to bleed on it.

Holy mol...

Oh.

Well...

How do you know
it's a bad thing?

Huh?

Really?

See what I'm doing?
I do.

Turning that upside down.

I do.

This is working.

Yeah.

Ooh. Wasabi peas.

Fate obviously didn't want me
to have that banana.

Fate did not want us
to get in that car.

Well, maybe you've
learned something after all.

Fate needs me
to find a smart toilet.

I take that back.
Can you hold it?

- I'm ballpointing.
- Walk faster.

Okay. Yeah.

I'm alive! I'm ali...

Oh, fuck me. Fuck me.

Come on, you fucker.

Fuck you!

Stop! Stop! Fucking stop!

Tangerines?

- Fuck Diesels.
- I...

I am the White D...Fuck you, Diesel bitch!

Final curtain, huh?

Final curtain!

Take a fucking bow!