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1
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:14,130
(I Love Lucy theme song playing)
2
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,572
(sighs)
3
00:00:49,032 --> 00:00:50,834
Honey, I think that tomorrow...
4
00:00:50,834 --> 00:00:52,335
(whispering): Please!
5
00:00:52,836 --> 00:00:55,338
(baby cries briefly)
6
00:00:55,839 --> 00:00:58,341
(gurgling)
7
00:00:59,843 --> 00:01:01,845
(both sighing)
8
00:01:01,845 --> 00:01:03,680
(whispering): I'm sorry, honey, I
didn't mean...
9
00:01:07,183 --> 00:01:08,184
What's the matter with you?
10
00:01:08,184 --> 00:01:09,686
Are you crazy or something?
11
00:01:09,686 --> 00:01:11,688
You want the baby to keep us awake
again tonight?
12
00:01:11,688 --> 00:01:14,190
I'm sorry, dear, I guess I wasn't
thinking.
13
00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:15,692
If I don't get some sleep soon,
14
00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:17,193
I don't know what I'm going to do.
15
00:01:17,193 --> 00:01:18,695
Well, honey, we'll keep our fingers
crossed.
16
00:01:18,695 --> 00:01:21,448
Maybe we won't hear a peep out of him
tonight.
17
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:22,949
Well, I hope not.
18
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,451
And, honey, listen, if he does wake
up,
19
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:27,287
I'd certainly appreciate it if you'd
get up and take care of him.
20
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:28,655
Sure, honey, I will.
Okay.
21
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,657
Come on, let's go to bed.
22
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:31,825
What?!
23
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:35,328
Oh, Ricky, I'm simply asking if the
baby wake up
24
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,831
that you get up and take care of him.
25
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:41,835
Well, honey, I know it's a lot of
hard work taking care of the baby,
26
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,837
but that's what mothers are for.
27
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:47,090
Oh, and what are fathers for?
28
00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:49,392
Well, the father is the breadwinner.
29
00:01:49,392 --> 00:01:52,395
See, the father is supposed to get
his rest at night
30
00:01:52,395 --> 00:01:55,398
so he can get up fresh in the
morning, go out into the world
31
00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:57,851
and make money for his family.
32
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:01,354
You wouldn't tell me the rules before
the game started.
33
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,660
The next time we have a baby, I get
to be the father.
34
00:02:08,945 --> 00:02:11,447
Now, don't try to be funny.
35
00:02:11,447 --> 00:02:14,083
(tearfully): I'm not trying to be
funny.
36
00:02:14,083 --> 00:02:17,086
You just don't know how tired I am.
37
00:02:17,086 --> 00:02:19,589
You don't care anything about me.
38
00:02:20,089 --> 00:02:22,091
Oh, honey, I do, honestly I do.
39
00:02:22,091 --> 00:02:25,044
Then will you get up and take care of
him?
40
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:28,047
Isn't there some kind of a
compromise?
41
00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:29,549
Look, I'll tell you what--
44
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:35,522
will get up, keep him quiet so the
other one can sleep.
45
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:36,523
Now, is that fair?
46
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,641
All right, you got a deal.
47
00:02:38,641 --> 00:02:39,642
Okay.
48
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:41,644
Come on, let's go to bed.
49
00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:59,412
(baby crying softly)
50
00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:09,722
(crying stops)
51
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:16,229
(louder crying)
52
00:03:24,821 --> 00:03:27,323
(crying stops)
53
00:03:29,325 --> 00:03:31,828
(very loud crying)
54
00:03:31,828 --> 00:03:37,083
(both snore loudly)
55
00:03:50,046 --> 00:03:53,883
All right, you out-snored me, you big
phony.
56
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:58,304
(crying continues)
57
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,808
Shh, shh, shh.
58
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:04,811
It's all right, honey, it's all
right.
59
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,813
It's all right, baby.
60
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:09,315
That's okay, that's okay, honey.
61
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:12,652
(crying continues)
62
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,537
Shh.
63
00:04:22,245 --> 00:04:32,255
(alarm clock ringing)
64
00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:44,267
Lucy!
65
00:04:56,579 --> 00:04:58,081
Lucy, honey, wake up!
66
00:04:58,081 --> 00:05:00,083
What's the matter? Baby cry?
67
00:05:00,083 --> 00:05:02,085
Don't get up, dear, I'll get him.
68
00:05:02,085 --> 00:05:04,587
Honey, it's morning.
69
00:05:04,587 --> 00:05:06,089
Oh, oh.
70
00:05:06,589 --> 00:05:07,590
Straighten up.
71
00:05:07,590 --> 00:05:10,927
Uh... oh, I can't.
72
00:05:10,927 --> 00:05:13,346
Lower the side of the crib.
73
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,847
Huh? Oh.
74
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:16,849
(moaning)
75
00:05:21,938 --> 00:05:23,439
What time is it?
76
00:05:23,439 --> 00:05:24,941
It's 10:00.
77
00:05:24,941 --> 00:05:27,643
Oh, I got to get your breakfast.
78
00:05:27,643 --> 00:05:29,645
Hey, honey, wait. Honey!
79
00:05:29,645 --> 00:05:32,148
Honey, please don't...
don't worry about my breakfast.
80
00:05:32,648 --> 00:05:34,150
Come on, you got to get some rest.
81
00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:35,151
All right.
82
00:05:35,151 --> 00:05:36,652
Listen, tonight I'm going to make
sure
83
00:05:37,153 --> 00:05:38,154
you go to bed real early.
84
00:05:38,654 --> 00:05:40,156
Oh, no, we're going to play bridge
with the Mertzes.
85
00:05:40,656 --> 00:05:41,541
Oh, no, no, I'll call that off.
86
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:46,412
Oh, no, don't do that, that's all the
fun I have.
87
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,414
I'll be all right.
88
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:51,751
All I need is a little sleep.
89
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:52,719
All I ask...
90
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,805
Well, are you all set to play...
91
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,610
RICKY: Honey, I don't seem to be able
to find
92
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:53,029
the card...
93
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,618
No use trying to play tonight.
94
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,787
No.
She's really bushed, isn't she?
95
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:04,123
Yes. I guess taking care of the house
and the baby
96
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:06,909
is a little bit too much for her.
97
00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:10,463
Well, taking care of a little baby's
no easy job.
98
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,832
Well... You know what I was thinking,
Ethel?
99
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:13,833
What?
100
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:16,335
I ought to get Lucy a maid.
101
00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:18,337
A maid? Oh, Ricky, that's wonderful.
102
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:21,641
Well, it's a big expense, but she
can't go on this way.
103
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:24,644
So you're thinking of getting Lucy a
maid, huh?
104
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,647
Hey, that idea might be a good thing
for us, too.
105
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,982
Why, Fred, are you thinking of
getting me a maid?
106
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:33,186
Nope. I'm thinking of hiring you out
to the Ricardos.
107
00:07:35,104 --> 00:07:37,356
Lucy, honey...
108
00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:38,691
wake up.
109
00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,693
(shouting): Three, no trump!
110
00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:42,995
We haven't started playing yet.
111
00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:44,363
Oh, hi.
112
00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:45,865
Hi.
Hi.
113
00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:48,367
And, honey, you know what we just
decided?
114
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:49,869
I'm going to get you a maid.
115
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:52,371
ETHEL: Isn't that wonderful, Lucy? A
maid!
116
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,373
I must still be asleep.
117
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,376
I thought you said you were going to
get me a maid.
118
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,346
I did, honey.
You can't go on this way.
119
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:01,848
You need some help.
120
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:04,851
Oh, Ricky, you're the most wonderful
husband in the world!
121
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:06,352
Oh, honey!
122
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,857
Gee, just think, honey,
123
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:14,360
this is the last breakfast I'll ever
have to serve.
124
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,363
What time is the first maid coming
out?
125
00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:20,366
Well, the agency said she'd be here
about 10:00.
126
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,368
What do you mean, the first maid?
127
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,871
Well, honey, you have to talk to
three or four of them
128
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:26,372
before you can decide.
129
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,374
Oh, anybody the agency sends out
ought to be all right.
130
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:29,876
Now, wait a minute, honey.
131
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,377
I don't want you to get started
wrong.
132
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:33,880
I want you to handle this like a real
businesswoman.
133
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,381
Well...
134
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:38,301
You got to ask her questions, find
out something about her.
135
00:08:38,301 --> 00:08:39,802
Oh, I don't know.
136
00:08:40,303 --> 00:08:42,305
Honey, why don't you stay around and
interview her?
137
00:08:42,305 --> 00:08:43,306
Well, I can't, honey.
138
00:08:43,306 --> 00:08:44,807
I got to go to rehearsal.
139
00:08:44,807 --> 00:08:45,808
Well, I've never interviewed one
before.
140
00:08:46,309 --> 00:08:47,560
What do I ask her?
141
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,395
Well, you got to ask her, uh...
142
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:51,264
where she worked before,
143
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,566
why she left,
144
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:57,019
if she's a good cook, if she knows
how to serve...
145
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,243
if she's got a catcher's mitt.
146
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:06,662
Well, couldn't I just hire her,
147
00:09:06,662 --> 00:09:09,665
and hope that everything works out
all right?
148
00:09:09,665 --> 00:09:11,167
Now, now, now, wait a minute.
149
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:13,669
The most important thing in hiring
anybody
150
00:09:13,669 --> 00:09:15,171
is to establish the relationship
151
00:09:15,171 --> 00:09:17,957
right from the start.
Oh.
152
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,875
You've got to be firm.
153
00:09:19,875 --> 00:09:21,377
Let her know who's working for who.
154
00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:23,179
Oh.
Yeah, don't give her too much time
off.
155
00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:24,597
Make sure she understands
156
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:26,933
what her hours are and what her
duties are.
157
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,768
Be tough.
158
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:35,107
Well, I better go.
159
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:36,609
I'll call you later, see how you made
out.
160
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,110
Okay.
Bye.
161
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:46,535
(no sound)
162
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,879
Hey...
(screaming)
163
00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,382
Oh, Ethel.
164
00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:02,385
I was practicing interviewing the
maid.
165
00:10:02,385 --> 00:10:03,386
Oh.
166
00:10:03,886 --> 00:10:06,389
Ricky said that I should be firm with
her.
167
00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:07,890
Well, what are you going to say?
168
00:10:08,391 --> 00:10:10,393
Well, I... Here, you be the maid.
169
00:10:10,393 --> 00:10:13,396
Now, first, I want to get a look at
you.
170
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:20,152
Eh.
171
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:24,657
Now, I want you to understand just
what kind of a job this is.
172
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,158
It's no cinch.
173
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:28,661
You'll cook and clean, do the laundry
and the ironing
174
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,029
and help take care of the baby.
175
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,531
You'll have Thursdays off and Sunday
afternoons only.
176
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:34,533
I expect you here at 8:00 in the
morning
177
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,036
and you mustn't leave until after
8:30 at night.
178
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:38,337
Do you understand?
179
00:10:38,336 --> 00:10:41,340
Hey, that was good, you were real
firm.
180
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,958
Well, it's the only way.
181
00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:44,960
You see, you have to establish the
relationship
182
00:10:45,461 --> 00:10:46,462
right from the start.
183
00:10:46,462 --> 00:10:47,463
(door buzzer)
184
00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:48,681
There she is.
185
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,182
Well, I'll see you later. Now, be
firm.
186
00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:51,183
Yeah.
187
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,972
(door buzzer)
188
00:11:03,979 --> 00:11:06,482
Good morning, I am from the
employment agency.
189
00:11:06,982 --> 00:11:07,983
Are you Mrs. Ricardo?
190
00:11:07,983 --> 00:11:08,984
Yes.
191
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:21,464
Uh, there are a few things that I
think that...
192
00:11:24,467 --> 00:11:28,471
First there are some things that I
think we should discuss.
193
00:11:28,471 --> 00:11:29,472
That's right.
194
00:11:29,972 --> 00:11:31,474
Now, I must have Wednesday afternoons
off
195
00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:33,008
and every weekend.
196
00:11:33,008 --> 00:11:35,511
I can't possibly come before 9:00 in
the morning,
197
00:11:35,511 --> 00:11:37,513
and I must leave before 7:00 at
night.
198
00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:38,514
Oh.
199
00:11:39,014 --> 00:11:41,183
Of course, you have an automatic
dishwasher?
200
00:11:41,183 --> 00:11:42,902
No, we don't.
201
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,570
A dryer?
202
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:45,905
No.
203
00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:49,408
Uh, but we have a...
we have a garbage disposal
204
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:50,910
and a washing machine.
205
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,912
Well...
206
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:55,915
And a television set, 21-inch screen.
207
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,533
I'll take the job.
208
00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:00,369
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
209
00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:03,289
May I help you off with your coat?
210
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,291
Yes.
211
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,293
Oh, that's a very pretty hat.
212
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:10,296
Yes. Well, now I'll see what I've
gotten myself into.
213
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:11,797
Oh, yes, go right ahead.
214
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,599
Just don't wake up the baby.
215
00:12:14,884 --> 00:12:16,886
Baby?!
216
00:12:16,886 --> 00:12:19,355
Well, he's just a little one.
217
00:12:19,355 --> 00:12:25,111
He, he really isn't very much
trouble.
218
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:29,448
-Who takes care of him?
-I do?
219
00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:30,950
Including his laundry?
220
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,952
Oh, yes, yes, I do everything for
him.
221
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,237
I take full charge of the baby,
always.
222
00:12:35,237 --> 00:12:36,539
Oh, well, that's all right.
223
00:12:36,539 --> 00:12:37,540
Yes.
224
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:39,041
Where's the kitchen?
225
00:12:39,041 --> 00:12:40,042
In there.
226
00:12:40,042 --> 00:12:42,044
Oh, I forgot, what is your name?
227
00:12:42,044 --> 00:12:42,912
Mrs. Porter.
228
00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:44,914
Oh, and what do I call you?
229
00:12:44,914 --> 00:12:46,665
Mrs. Porter.
230
00:12:57,059 --> 00:12:59,562
(phone rings)
231
00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:06,769
Ricardos' residence.
232
00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:08,771
Huh? Just a minute.
233
00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:12,408
Are you in to a Mrs. Mertz?
234
00:13:12,908 --> 00:13:14,660
Ask her which Mrs. Mertz.
235
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,829
Which Mrs. Mertz?
236
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:20,082
The one you owe two months' rent to.
237
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:23,752
Hello, Ethel.
238
00:13:23,752 --> 00:13:25,754
Oh, this is Mrs. Mertz' scullery
girl.
239
00:13:25,754 --> 00:13:29,258
I'll ask the downstairs maid to ask
the upstairs maid
240
00:13:29,258 --> 00:13:30,759
if madame can talk to you.
241
00:13:30,759 --> 00:13:32,962
All right, all right.
242
00:13:32,962 --> 00:13:34,013
How you doing?
243
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,182
Well, it isn't exactly
244
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:37,683
the way I dreamed about it.
245
00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:39,185
What's the matter?
246
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:42,188
Oh, I'll come down later and tell you
about it.
247
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,522
She's fixing my lunch now.
248
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:44,440
Fixing your lunch?
249
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:45,808
That doesn't sound bad.
250
00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:49,278
Well, I think maybe it'll work out
all right.
251
00:13:49,278 --> 00:13:51,146
I'll be down later. Good-bye.
252
00:13:51,146 --> 00:13:52,147
Lunch is ready.
253
00:13:52,147 --> 00:13:54,617
Oh, all right.
254
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,375
Well, you don't want me to bring it
in there, do you?
255
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:05,494
Oh. Oh, no, of course not.
256
00:14:05,494 --> 00:14:09,081
I'll eat in the kit... uh, in the
breakfast nook.
257
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,356
What's the matter?
258
00:14:34,356 --> 00:14:36,859
Don't you like peanut butter
sandwiches?
259
00:14:37,359 --> 00:14:39,361
Oh, yes. Yes, I like them very much
as a rule, but...
260
00:14:39,361 --> 00:14:41,280
I tell you what, I think I'd rather
have
261
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,582
some of that roast beef that's in the
refrigerator.
262
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,118
That snivelly little leftover?
263
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:48,754
Why, there was half a roast...
264
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,423
Oh, yeah, that was the one.
265
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:54,260
Why, it hardly made a good mouthful.
266
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:59,632
Well, there's a head of lettuce, if I
could...
267
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,934
If I didn't have the salad, I'd have
starved to death.
268
00:15:09,358 --> 00:15:11,360
There's some jelly up in the...
269
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:13,696
All gone?
270
00:15:16,398 --> 00:15:18,200
Some milk?
271
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,319
All gone?
272
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,821
Well, I've got to eat, too, you know.
273
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:25,291
Oh, I know, I know.
274
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:26,792
Yes, of course, surely.
275
00:15:44,927 --> 00:15:48,063
That's the way to eat a peanut butter
sandwich.
276
00:15:48,063 --> 00:15:50,566
That's what's good for you--
277
00:15:51,066 --> 00:15:52,568
a nice, pure
278
00:15:52,568 --> 00:15:55,571
thick peanut butter on dry bread.
279
00:15:57,072 --> 00:15:58,324
Good, huh?
280
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:01,026
I'll make you another one.
281
00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:25,200
(knocking on door)
282
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:29,171
Hi.
283
00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:30,673
Oh, pardon my answering the door
284
00:16:31,173 --> 00:16:32,424
dressed like this, your highness.
285
00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:35,094
If you'll excuse me, I'll go put on a
formal gown.
286
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:35,961
Oh, shut up.
287
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:38,797
What's the matter?
288
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:43,102
Oh, Ethel, let's face it, I'm not the
type to have a maid.
289
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:46,438
Some people are cut out for champagne
and caviar.
290
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:48,941
I'm more the beer and pretzel type.
291
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:50,392
What's the matter?
What happened?
292
00:16:50,392 --> 00:16:51,810
Oh, she walks all over me.
293
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,813
She gets most of the time off, I have
to take care of the baby,
294
00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:56,315
I have to do his laundry,
295
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,317
and she's eating me out of house and
home.
296
00:16:58,317 --> 00:16:59,201
What am I going to do?
297
00:16:59,201 --> 00:17:01,070
That's easy, fire her.
298
00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:03,572
Fire her? Oh, I don't know.
299
00:17:03,572 --> 00:17:04,990
Well, you certainly can't keep her.
300
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:07,292
You just said you're not the type to
have a maid.
301
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,962
Well, I'm not the type to fire one,
either.
302
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:13,132
Lucy Ricardo, are you afraid of the
maid?
303
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:15,084
Afraid? Me?
304
00:17:15,584 --> 00:17:17,302
Yes!
305
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,473
Lucy, you go right up there and fire
her.
306
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:24,643
Come on, now, who's the boss?
307
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:26,145
You or her?
308
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:27,646
I am.
309
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,148
Who gives the orders?
310
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,315
I do.
311
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:31,817
Well, are you going to let someone,
312
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:34,653
a stranger, someone you pay money to,
boss you around?
313
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,271
I should say not!
314
00:17:36,271 --> 00:17:38,073
Well, what are you going to do about
it?
315
00:17:38,073 --> 00:17:39,575
I'm going to go right up there
316
00:17:39,575 --> 00:17:41,577
and tell her she's through right now.
317
00:17:41,577 --> 00:17:43,078
I'll show her who's the boss.
318
00:17:43,078 --> 00:17:44,079
She's got a lot of nerve.
319
00:17:46,081 --> 00:17:47,082
Mrs. Porter.
320
00:17:47,082 --> 00:17:48,083
Yes?
321
00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:50,502
May I see you for a moment?
322
00:17:52,204 --> 00:17:54,706
Mrs. Porter, there's something I'd
like to say to you.
323
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:56,008
Well?
324
00:17:57,342 --> 00:18:00,212
Uh, could I have glass of water,
please?
325
00:18:13,475 --> 00:18:15,444
Thank you.
326
00:18:25,654 --> 00:18:28,040
Mrs. Porter!
327
00:18:29,992 --> 00:18:31,877
Well?
328
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,329
Could I have some more water, please?
329
00:18:34,329 --> 00:18:36,748
Well, you haven't finished that.
330
00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:38,750
Oh.
331
00:18:43,639 --> 00:18:47,643
I guess I'm kind of thirsty from all
that peanut butter.
332
00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,428
(laughing weakly)
333
00:19:28,851 --> 00:19:30,352
Oh, hi, honey.
334
00:19:30,352 --> 00:19:32,187
How's my lady of leisure?
335
00:19:32,187 --> 00:19:33,689
All rested up, huh?
336
00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:34,690
No.
337
00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:36,441
Why, what's the matter?
338
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:37,809
I don't like having a maid.
339
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:39,811
I'm just not cut out for it, Ricky.
340
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:41,313
I feel like I'm working for her.
341
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,815
That's worse than doing all the work
myself.
342
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:45,317
Well, we only got her
343
00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:47,819
because we thought it was going to be
good for you.
344
00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:49,288
If you don't like her, we'll let her
go.
345
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,957
We'll fire her, huh?
346
00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:53,125
Sure.
347
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,459
Good. I'll go down and see Ethel,
348
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:56,628
and after you fire her, call me.
349
00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,130
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
350
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:00,132
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
351
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:03,635
This is your project-- you hire her,
you fire her.
352
00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:06,138
Oh, I tried to and I couldn't.
353
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,139
Well, why not?
354
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:08,640
I got waterlogged.
355
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,142
Huh?
356
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:13,145
You'll do it for me, won't you,
Ricky?
357
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,646
Honey, I haven't even met her.
358
00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:17,065
Well, that's perfect.
I'll introduce you.
359
00:20:17,065 --> 00:20:19,568
I'll say, "Mrs. Porter, this is my
husband."
360
00:20:19,568 --> 00:20:21,570
You say, "How do you do?
You're fired."
361
00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:23,071
Now don't be silly.
362
00:20:23,071 --> 00:20:26,074
I told you I want you to run this
house like a business.
363
00:20:26,074 --> 00:20:27,359
Well, if you're afraid...
364
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:30,245
Me? Afraid?
365
00:20:30,245 --> 00:20:32,748
(laughing)
366
00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:37,002
Why, I could go in there right now
and fire her just like that.
367
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:38,370
Well, go ahead.
368
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:41,757
I will, I'll tell her, go right in
there now.
369
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,218
That's telling her.
370
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,689
Well, I was waiting for you to
introduce me.
371
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,191
Oh, sure.
372
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:00,692
Besides, if we don't lower our
voices,
373
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,979
nobody will have to tell her-- she'll
hear us.
374
00:21:03,979 --> 00:21:05,530
Hey... hey, that's it.
375
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:07,532
What?
Um...
376
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:09,034
(loudly): It's too bad,
377
00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:10,869
but I think we're going to have to
let Mrs. Porter go!
378
00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:14,072
Did you say we have to let Mrs.
Porter go?!
379
00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:17,075
Yes, I'm going to let her go right
after dinner!
380
00:21:17,576 --> 00:21:19,077
It just isn't working out.
381
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,580
Well, I guess you have to let Mrs.
Porter go, then.
382
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,582
Yes. Um, I'm going to let her go,
383
00:21:23,582 --> 00:21:25,584
but I'm going to give her a good
recommendation
384
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:27,419
and a week's pay.
A whole week.
385
00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:28,887
A good recommendation.
386
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:30,305
A week's pay.
387
00:21:30,305 --> 00:21:31,807
A good recommendation!
388
00:21:31,807 --> 00:21:33,809
(door buzzer)
389
00:21:33,809 --> 00:21:35,811
(no sound)
390
00:21:37,813 --> 00:21:40,315
Mrs. Porter, what are you doing here?
391
00:21:40,315 --> 00:21:44,319
I went out to empty some trash and
the back door locked me out.
392
00:21:44,319 --> 00:21:48,156
I knocked, but with all that yelling,
nobody could hear me.
393
00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:52,110
You must have had some fight.
394
00:22:04,006 --> 00:22:05,007
Hi.
395
00:22:05,507 --> 00:22:06,508
Hi.
396
00:22:06,508 --> 00:22:08,010
What's the matter?
397
00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:10,796
Oh, I can't stand it upstairs with
that maid,
398
00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,799
and I haven't got the nerve to fire
her.
399
00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:15,183
Well, somebody's got to fire her.
400
00:22:15,183 --> 00:22:17,185
Yeah.
401
00:22:20,055 --> 00:22:22,057
Ethel, will you...
402
00:22:22,057 --> 00:22:23,859
No!
403
00:22:25,277 --> 00:22:28,780
Guess there's not much chance that
she'll quit, huh?
404
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:32,284
With an easy job like that, why
should she quit?
405
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:34,536
Yeah.
406
00:22:34,536 --> 00:22:37,823
Hey, wait a minute-- what if she
didn't have such an easy job?
407
00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:40,826
What if she had to work her head off
cleaning up all the time?
408
00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:42,327
Yeah.
409
00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:44,079
How can we make my apartment look
like a pigpen?
410
00:22:44,079 --> 00:22:46,298
Oh, that's easy-- let Fred stay there
for a while.
411
00:22:46,298 --> 00:22:49,751
No, come on, now, help me, what can
we do?
412
00:22:50,252 --> 00:22:51,753
Well, let's see...
I could have Fred
413
00:22:52,254 --> 00:22:54,256
bring up a lot of junk from the
basement.
414
00:22:54,256 --> 00:22:56,758
Tell him to bring up everything
that's messy.
415
00:22:56,758 --> 00:22:58,260
Okay.
Let's see, then we have to wait
416
00:22:58,260 --> 00:22:59,761
until Mrs. Porter goes marketing,
417
00:22:59,761 --> 00:23:00,762
and then we'll mess the place up.
418
00:23:01,263 --> 00:23:02,764
And after she gets it all cleaned up,
419
00:23:02,764 --> 00:23:04,266
we'll say we get it that dirty every
day.
420
00:23:04,766 --> 00:23:05,767
That ought to do it.
421
00:23:05,767 --> 00:23:07,436
That ought to do it, yes, sir.
422
00:23:07,436 --> 00:23:08,904
Oh, hurry up. Come on!
423
00:23:28,457 --> 00:23:29,458
(laughing)
424
00:23:29,958 --> 00:23:31,126
How does it look?
425
00:23:31,126 --> 00:23:33,628
Oh, boy, that's beginning to look
good.
426
00:23:35,630 --> 00:23:36,631
How you doing in the kitchen?
427
00:23:36,631 --> 00:23:37,632
Oh, fine.
428
00:23:38,133 --> 00:23:39,634
I made a paste out of peanut butter
429
00:23:39,634 --> 00:23:40,635
and mustard and molasses
430
00:23:41,136 --> 00:23:42,637
and I smeared it over everything out
there.
431
00:23:43,138 --> 00:23:44,639
Oh, this I got to see.
432
00:23:44,639 --> 00:23:45,640
Come on and look at it.
433
00:23:46,141 --> 00:23:48,860
I really did a fine job, wait till
you see it.
434
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,862
Oh, no, oh... oh, Ethel.
435
00:23:50,862 --> 00:23:52,864
Isn't that great?
436
00:23:52,864 --> 00:23:56,368
Oh, I wouldn't believe it if I didn't
see it.
437
00:23:56,368 --> 00:23:58,370
Oh, look at that.
438
00:23:58,370 --> 00:23:59,871
Oh!
439
00:24:02,124 --> 00:24:04,626
Well, let's see now.
440
00:24:04,626 --> 00:24:06,128
We forget anything?
441
00:24:06,128 --> 00:24:10,132
Well, we could always throw a dead
horse in the corner.
442
00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:12,134
(laughing)
443
00:24:12,134 --> 00:24:13,135
Hey, hey!
What?
444
00:24:13,635 --> 00:24:14,636
I found these old feather pillows.
Here.
445
00:24:14,636 --> 00:24:16,588
What are they for?
What are they for?
446
00:24:16,588 --> 00:24:18,590
Why, to spread the feathers around,
of course.
447
00:24:18,590 --> 00:24:19,591
How do you go about doing that?
448
00:24:20,091 --> 00:24:21,092
Well, there's only one way.
449
00:24:21,092 --> 00:24:21,927
Oh!
450
00:24:33,321 --> 00:24:35,824
Hey, what's going on here?
451
00:24:35,824 --> 00:24:38,827
Hey, are you crazy or something?
452
00:24:38,827 --> 00:24:41,112
What are you doing?
453
00:24:41,112 --> 00:24:43,532
It's a scheme to make Mrs. Porter
quit.
454
00:24:43,532 --> 00:24:46,251
Oh, no.
455
00:24:46,251 --> 00:24:47,035
What's the matter?
456
00:24:47,035 --> 00:24:48,453
Well, I felt sorry for you,
457
00:24:48,453 --> 00:24:50,956
so I called her up an hour ago and I
fired her.
458
00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:04,236
(I Love Lucy theme song playing)
459
00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:08,240
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
460
00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:14,746
ANNOUNCER: Mrs. Porter was played by
Verna Felton.
461
00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:36,735
I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
462
00:25:37,235 --> 00:25:38,703
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
463
00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:41,239
will be back next week at this same
time.
464
00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:45,727
This is the CBS television network.
32086
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