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1
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:10,927
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:25,442
(theme music ending)
3
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,766
Gee, two vanloads of furniture.
4
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,768
What can they do with so much junk?
5
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,269
Mmm. Where'd they ever get that sofa?
6
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:37,270
Isn't that a...?
7
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:40,774
Are you still hanging out that
window?
8
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,776
Now, come on, honey...
9
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,778
I want my breakfast.
10
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,280
There's some coffee over there.
11
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,783
I'll make you some soft-boiled chairs
in a minute.
12
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,284
What?
I mean, eggs.
13
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:53,286
Look at those chairs, will you,
Ethel?
14
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:54,287
Ugh.
15
00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:55,789
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.
16
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:58,792
FRED: Hi, Ricks.
17
00:00:58,792 --> 00:00:59,793
Hello, Fred.
18
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,294
Ethel up here?
19
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,796
Oh, there she is.
20
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,297
The nosy twins.
21
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:06,299
They've been hanging out that window
22
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:07,801
for an hour, snooping.
23
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:11,304
You'd think they'd never seen anyone
move into an apartment before.
24
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:13,306
Do you want some coffee?
No, thanks.
25
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,308
Ethel, look at those china lamps.
26
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,310
He shouldn't try to balance that lamp
27
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:18,812
on that table like that.
28
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,815
Oh, honey, now, those moving men know
what they're doing.
29
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:22,816
They never drop any...
30
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,317
(both gasp)
31
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,322
(crash)
32
00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:30,323
Oh...
Oh...
33
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:32,325
Well, I guess one lamp's better than
none.
34
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:33,827
Ethel, come out of that window.
35
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,829
Suppose the new tenant should see
you.
36
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,331
There's nobody down there but the
moving men.
37
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:41,334
They won't be satisfied until they
see every last bit
38
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:43,336
of those people's, uh, paraphernalia.
39
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,839
Par...
40
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,340
Que no va a estar conforme
41
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,342
hasta que no ven el ultimo trasto
42
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,343
de los nuevos vecinos.
43
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,345
Oh, paraphernalia.
44
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,350
You understand Spanish?
45
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,852
No.
46
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,854
Now, come out of there, both of you.
47
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,856
Come on! You've done enough snooping.
48
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,858
We're not snooping.
49
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,360
I'm surprised they're not using
binoculars.
50
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,862
Oh, I forgot I had them.
51
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:14,367
Say, that must be the new tenant
coming up now.
52
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:15,869
Isn't he handsome?
53
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:16,870
"Handsome"?
54
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:17,871
How can you call him handsome
55
00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,373
with those bugged-out eyes and long
hairy legs?
56
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:21,875
Huh?
57
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,377
Hey, you got a fly on the lens.
58
00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,379
Oh!
59
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,381
Ooh, say, he is handsome.
60
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,383
Let me see through those things.
61
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:31,885
Ethel!
62
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,888
Curiosity killed the cat, eh, Fred?
63
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,390
Yeah, but we'll never get a break
like that.
64
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:38,391
(laughing)
65
00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:40,393
Now, why can't they wait until
tomorrow
66
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:41,895
to see what those people look like?
67
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:42,896
I don't know.
68
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,898
It doesn't make any difference to me
69
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:45,899
what they look like.
70
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:46,900
Me, neither.
71
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:47,901
Hey, who was that?
72
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,903
Do you suppose that could be his
wife?
73
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:53,406
(gasping): Look at that gorgeous
blond hair.
74
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:56,910
LUCY: Ethel Mertz!
75
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,411
How do you dare let a woman like that
76
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,914
that has a figure like that, come
into this building?
77
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,916
Just a minute.
That's the biggest mista...
78
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,918
Nothing doing.
Give me that, will you?
Hey, fellas!
79
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,419
Fred, give me that thing!
80
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,924
Fellas, watch it, will you?
81
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:13,927
Gee, I'm sure glad men aren't nosy.
82
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:14,928
Yeah.
83
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,429
Wow, wow.
84
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,430
(whistles)
85
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,432
All right, fellas, break it up, will
you?
86
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:21,434
We were here first.
Get your own window.
87
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:23,937
Ah... they gone inside.
88
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:24,938
(coughs)
89
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:25,939
That's all, girls.
90
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,440
Yeah, the show is over.
Here.
91
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,441
Well, something tells me
92
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,443
I'm going to be doing a lot of
repairing
93
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,444
in that apartment.
94
00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:32,946
Ah...
95
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:33,947
You need a helper?
96
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:34,948
Have you got a card?
97
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:36,449
I'll join.
98
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,451
Okay, Ethel, what's the dirt on the
new tenants?
99
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:39,452
Where are they from?
100
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:40,453
I don't know.
101
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:41,955
What business is he in?
102
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:42,956
I don't know.
103
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,457
Do they have any children?
104
00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:45,458
I don't know.
105
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:48,962
What's the matter with you? Your
radar bent?
106
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,964
No, they rented the apartment through
an agent.
107
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,966
All I know is their name is O'Brien
108
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,968
she's a blond, and they've got one
broken lamp.
109
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:55,969
Well, what are we waiting for?
110
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,971
Let's go down and call on them.
Okay, let's go.
111
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,422
Now, now, wait a minute, Ethel.
112
00:03:59,422 --> 00:04:00,924
Give them a chance to get settled.
113
00:04:00,924 --> 00:04:02,926
Yeah, I guess he's right.
114
00:04:02,926 --> 00:04:04,928
No sense rushing things.
115
00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:08,431
(both sigh)
116
00:04:08,431 --> 00:04:09,933
Okay, let's go.
117
00:04:13,937 --> 00:04:14,938
Lucy, come on!
118
00:04:15,438 --> 00:04:18,441
Well, I'm trying to, but there's a
very strong current here.
119
00:04:18,942 --> 00:04:19,943
Ricky, let go.
Come here, Lucy.
120
00:04:19,943 --> 00:04:21,444
You're not going to go downstairs.
121
00:04:21,444 --> 00:04:22,445
Why not?
122
00:04:22,445 --> 00:04:24,948
Because there's nothing downstairs
that concerns you.
123
00:04:24,948 --> 00:04:26,950
You'll have to give me a better
reason than that.
124
00:04:26,950 --> 00:04:28,952
You just go in the kitchen and fix my
breakfast.
125
00:04:28,952 --> 00:04:31,454
Oh... we'll go down later, Ethel.
126
00:04:31,454 --> 00:04:32,956
His majesty is hungry.
127
00:04:32,956 --> 00:04:34,958
Okay, there's plenty of time.
128
00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:37,961
His majesty has another proclamation.
129
00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:40,964
I don't want you to go down there at
all.
130
00:04:40,964 --> 00:04:42,966
"At all" as in "never"?
131
00:04:42,966 --> 00:04:45,969
Right.
132
00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:47,971
Now, repeat after me:
133
00:04:47,971 --> 00:04:50,473
I, Lucy Ricardo, promise never to set
foot
134
00:04:50,473 --> 00:04:51,975
in the O'Brien apartment.
135
00:04:51,975 --> 00:04:53,476
Oh, really.
136
00:04:53,476 --> 00:04:55,478
Come on.
137
00:04:55,478 --> 00:04:58,481
I, Lucy Ricardo, promise never to set
foot...
138
00:04:58,481 --> 00:05:00,984
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a
minute.
139
00:05:00,984 --> 00:05:01,985
Uh-huh.
140
00:05:03,486 --> 00:05:04,487
Now.
141
00:05:04,487 --> 00:05:06,990
I, Lucy Ricardo, promise never to set
foot
142
00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:08,992
in the O'Brien apartment-- okay?
143
00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:09,993
Okay.
144
00:05:09,993 --> 00:05:11,995
Okay.
145
00:05:19,168 --> 00:05:20,670
OPERATOR: Information.
146
00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:22,672
Do you have a telephone number
147
00:05:22,672 --> 00:05:25,174
for O'Brien, 623 East 68th Street?
148
00:05:25,174 --> 00:05:27,176
They just moved in today.
149
00:05:27,176 --> 00:05:29,178
One moment, please.
150
00:05:29,178 --> 00:05:30,680
Fred, are you going to be long?
151
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:31,681
I want to use the phone.
152
00:05:31,681 --> 00:05:33,182
No, no, I'll just be a minute.
153
00:05:33,182 --> 00:05:34,684
I thought I'd call downstairs
154
00:05:34,684 --> 00:05:35,685
and see if there's anything
155
00:05:35,685 --> 00:05:38,187
they wanted me to do...
Are you calling the O'Briens?
156
00:05:38,187 --> 00:05:40,189
They'll call you if they want
anything done.
157
00:05:40,189 --> 00:05:41,691
You're never too busy to do anything
158
00:05:41,691 --> 00:05:42,692
when there's a blond around.
159
00:05:43,192 --> 00:05:43,693
Are you calling them?
160
00:05:44,193 --> 00:05:46,195
How can you think a thing like that?
161
00:05:46,195 --> 00:05:48,197
Oh, hello, Mr. Thompson?
162
00:05:48,197 --> 00:05:50,700
How's the plumbing holding up down
there?
163
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,201
Well, good.
164
00:05:52,201 --> 00:05:54,203
No, no, no, not at all, thanks.
165
00:05:55,204 --> 00:05:56,706
Help yourself.
166
00:05:59,709 --> 00:06:07,216
The number for the O'Briens is Murray
Hill 5-9-5-7-0.
167
00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:22,982
Stick 'em up.
168
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,484
(gasps)
169
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:25,985
Tom, you scared me to death.
170
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,487
Hiya, baby.
171
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:28,988
Hi. Put this on the mantel for me,
will you?
172
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,491
Forget about unpacking.
We've got a script to learn.
173
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:34,994
But, Tom, this place...
Look, honey, this television show
goes on Friday night.
174
00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:35,995
We don't even know our lines yet.
175
00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,497
Well, I know mine.
176
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:38,998
All right, smarty.
177
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:40,500
I'll help you with yours.
178
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,501
Good. Now, let's see.
179
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:43,503
I think I know that first scene,
baby.
180
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,505
Let's start with the second one.
181
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,006
All right.
182
00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:48,508
Now, where are we?
183
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:51,010
(Russian accent): Are you sure this
is the right place?
184
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,012
(Russian accent): I am positive.
185
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:56,015
They live in this building on an
upper floor.
186
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:57,016
Good.
187
00:06:57,016 --> 00:07:00,019
Let me go over the plan with you once
more.
188
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,021
We do away with them both--
189
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:05,525
dispose of the bodies and assume
their identities.
190
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,026
We become them, yes?
191
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:08,528
Exactly.
192
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,031
It is dangerous
193
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,534
but it is our only chance to stay in
this country
194
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:16,035
so we can blow up the capital.
195
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:17,537
Shh!
196
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:21,040
(normal voice): You know, that's
pretty corny dialogue.
197
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,543
Yeah, even for television.
198
00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:29,048
Well, it's a living.
199
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:30,550
Let's see, where were we?
200
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:35,555
(Russian accent): You know, my little
chicken, this job will not be easy.
201
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,557
They're clever and physically strong.
202
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:41,561
(normal voice): "Physically
strong"...
203
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:44,063
"Physically strong"...
Yeah, I thought you knew your part,
baby.
204
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:45,565
That's the first one I've missed.
205
00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:47,567
It's, "Especially..."
206
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:51,571
(Russian accent): Especially the
red-haired one.
207
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:54,574
Did you notice those big bulging
muscles
208
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,576
those-those popping eyes
209
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:59,579
and-and that horrible, ugly, leering
face?
210
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:02,582
I will take care of that one,
silently
211
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,083
with a knife in the back.
212
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:07,086
(crunching)
213
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:09,589
You will handle the other.
214
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:12,091
I will, on one condition--
215
00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:15,094
that you take me out to lunch.
216
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,095
Huh?
217
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:19,599
It's 3:00 and I'm starved.
Ah.
218
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,601
I haven't had anything to eat since
breakfast.
219
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,102
All right.
220
00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:26,105
Come on, let's go down to the
drugstore and have a sandwich.
221
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:27,607
We can finish rehearsing when we get
back.
222
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,108
Okay, baby.
223
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:33,613
(Russian accent): I will take care of
that one, silently
224
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,615
with a knife in the back.
225
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:38,618
(crunching)
226
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,620
Hey...
(crunching)
227
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,121
Oh.
228
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:45,124
(Russian accent): Wait.
229
00:08:45,124 --> 00:08:47,126
Good, they have not seen us.
230
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,628
The coast is clear.
231
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:51,631
(laughing): Darling, you're such a
fool.
232
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:54,634
You know, baby, I think we're going
to like this place.
233
00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:59,338
Mrs. O'Brien?
234
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,841
Mrs. O'Brien, it's me, the landlady.
235
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,343
Is there anything I can help you
with?
236
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,848
Mrs. O'Brien?
237
00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:13,853
Ew.
238
00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:19,859
(whispers): Hi, Ethel.
239
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,362
Lucy.
240
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:24,864
What about your promise?
241
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:25,865
Well, I promised Ricky
242
00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:27,867
I wouldn't set foot in this apartment
243
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,369
but that doesn't mean I can't stay
out here in the hall
244
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:31,871
and give a long-distance snoop.
245
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:32,872
Aren't they home?
246
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:33,873
No.
247
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,375
I had to wait all morning and half
the afternoon
248
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,376
for them to leave.
249
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:38,878
(laughing): What'd you find?
250
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:40,379
Well...
251
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:43,382
Lucy, what period is this?
252
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:46,385
19th-century provincial?
253
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:48,888
Looks like 20th-century ugly.
254
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:52,391
What else is there?
255
00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:53,392
These lamps.
256
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,394
Now that I see these lamps up close
257
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:57,396
it's too bad they didn't drop both of
them.
258
00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:59,398
Where are they?
259
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:00,399
Here.
260
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:01,400
Oh...
261
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,402
Gosh, this is the most frustrating
thing
262
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:04,403
that ever happened to me.
263
00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:05,905
Wait, I'll bring one over to you.
264
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,907
No, listen-- just because I promised
Ricky
265
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,909
that I wouldn't set foot in this
apartment
266
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:11,911
doesn't mean I can't set knees in.
267
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:13,913
So long as I keep my feet off the
floor
268
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:15,915
I'm an honest woman, right?
269
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,416
(chuckles)
270
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:18,417
(gasps)
271
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,925
He better see his dentist.
272
00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:35,434
Oh, fine thing-- she removed all the
price tags.
273
00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:39,438
Hey, look at this.
274
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,440
What is that?
275
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,441
Early Pullman.
276
00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:43,442
RICKY: Lucy!
277
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:44,944
Ricky's home.
278
00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:46,445
Lucy!
279
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:47,947
He's coming down here.
What'll I do?
280
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,949
Hide someplace.
I'll get rid of him.
281
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:50,950
But where?
282
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:51,951
In the closet.
283
00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:57,456
Oh, hi, Ethel.
284
00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:59,959
I have a perfect right to be here.
285
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:03,963
Who said you didn't?
286
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:04,964
Well, uh...
287
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:06,966
(chuckling): I just came up to see
288
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,468
if everything was all right, and
everything's all right.
289
00:11:09,468 --> 00:11:10,469
Well, let's go.
290
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,971
You seen Lucy?
291
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,973
Lucy who?
292
00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:18,477
Lucy Ricardo, my wife.
293
00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:19,979
Oh, that Lucy.
294
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,480
Yeah, that Lucy.
295
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,982
No, I haven't seen her.
296
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:23,983
Let's go.
297
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:50,509
(voices approaching)
298
00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:54,013
(Russian accent): Are you sure this
is the right place?
299
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:56,015
I am positive.
300
00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:58,517
They live in this building
301
00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:00,019
on an upper floor.
302
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:02,021
MR. O'BRIEN: Good.
303
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:05,024
Let me go over the plan with you once
more.
304
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:07,026
We do away with them both--
305
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:10,529
dispose of the bodies and assume
their identities.
306
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:13,032
MRS. O'BRIEN: We become them, yes?
307
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,533
Exactly.
308
00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:16,035
It is dangerous
309
00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:20,039
but it is our only chance to stay in
this country
310
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,041
so we can blow up the capital.
311
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:23,542
Shh!
312
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:28,047
You know, my little chicken
313
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:30,549
this job will not be easy.
314
00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:34,053
They are clever and physically
strong.
315
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:37,556
Especially the red-haired one.
316
00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:39,558
Did you notice...
317
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:43,562
did you notice those big bulging
muscles
318
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:46,565
those popping eyes
319
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:51,070
and that horrible, ugly, leering
face?
320
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:58,077
I will take care of that one,
silently
321
00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:59,578
with a knife in the back.
322
00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:02,581
(crunching)
323
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:04,083
You will handle the other.
324
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:06,085
Do not worry.
325
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:08,087
In a dark alley
326
00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:11,590
a loop of silver wire around the
neck.
327
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:13,592
One tug-- poof!
328
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:15,094
(laughing)
329
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,097
Wait...
330
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,103
I do not know if you actually realize
331
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,105
the importance of this mission.
332
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:29,108
What a great honor it is for you and
I
333
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,110
to have been chosen to perform it.
334
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:33,612
It is a crowning glory.
335
00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:36,615
It makes us the most trusted agents
336
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:38,617
in our nation's service.
337
00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:42,121
I am overwhelmed with pride.
338
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:50,629
Darling...
339
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:52,131
when this assignment is over
340
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:54,133
and we return to our native homeland
341
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,634
I will tell you something
342
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,137
that I have wanted to say to you for
a long, long time.
343
00:13:58,137 --> 00:13:59,638
Tell me now.
344
00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:03,142
No, there is no time for personal
emotion.
345
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:05,144
We have a job to do.
346
00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:07,146
That is all that counts.
347
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:08,647
Tell me now.
348
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:09,648
No.
349
00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:11,650
I think I can guess.
350
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,653
What do you think it is?
351
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:16,155
Tell me.
352
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:18,657
No, guess.
353
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,661
Kiss me.
354
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:25,164
Ah, you guessed.
355
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,671
Enough of this.
356
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,674
We are on a sacred mission.
357
00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:37,676
We cannot be weak.
358
00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:39,678
You are right
359
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:44,683
but I'll remember this until we can
be weak again.
360
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:46,685
Now, my little chicken
361
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:49,688
are all our preparations in order?
362
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:15,714
Now, my little chicken...
363
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:21,720
Now, my little chicken, are all our
preparations in...
364
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:32,231
Now, my little chicken, are all our
preparations in order?
365
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,235
You have the knife?
366
00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:37,736
Yes.
367
00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:39,238
The silver wire?
368
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,239
Yes.
369
00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:41,240
The map?
370
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,241
Yes.
371
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:43,242
The explosives?
372
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:44,243
Yes.
373
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:46,245
The two-way wrist television set?
374
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:47,746
Yes.
375
00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:49,248
Good.
376
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:55,254
I cannot...
377
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:58,257
I cannot think as a patriot.
378
00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:01,260
My blood is pounding in my ears.
379
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:04,763
As a woman, I beg of you...
380
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:06,765
be weak again.
381
00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:10,769
The roar of my blood is loud and
deep.
382
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:14,273
What a tragedy my life has been up to
now.
383
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:17,776
I see for the first time that to love
is to live.
384
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:20,279
(normal voice): Hey, not bad, eh?
385
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:36,762
That's gin.
386
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,263
Aw, Ricky.
387
00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,264
That's all.
388
00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:41,266
Oh, no, let's play one more hand,
Ricky, huh?
389
00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:42,267
RICKY: All right.
390
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:43,769
Oh, there you are, Ethel.
391
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:44,770
Have you got the pass key?
392
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,271
I want to check the heat
393
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:48,273
in Miss Lewis's apartment.
394
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,279
Lucy, what are you doing?
395
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:55,280
They're after us.
Help me.
396
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,281
Well, what happened?
397
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:57,282
What are you talking about?
398
00:16:57,282 --> 00:16:58,283
Who's after who?
399
00:16:58,283 --> 00:16:59,785
The O'Briens, Ethel.
400
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:01,787
You're nurturing two vipers in your
brownstone bosom.
401
00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:04,790
What?
402
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:07,292
Lucy... have you been snooping
downstairs?
403
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,794
Yes, I've been snooping
404
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,295
and it's a good thing I did, too.
405
00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:12,297
Those people are foreign enemy
agents.
406
00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:13,799
They're going to rub us out
407
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,801
and they're not going to use an
eraser either.
408
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:18,303
Lucy, you mean to tell me that you
went downstairs
409
00:17:18,303 --> 00:17:19,805
after you promised me not to?
410
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,808
Yes, I've been a bad girl and you can
spank me tomorrow
411
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:24,810
if there's anything left to spank!
412
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:26,812
Well, didn't you hear what I said?
413
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:27,813
What's the matter with you?
414
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:28,814
Our lives are in danger!
415
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:29,815
Now, look, honey
416
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:32,818
why would those people want to give
us a rubdown?
417
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:35,320
Rub us out!
418
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,321
I heard them.
419
00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:38,323
They're going to kill us and assume
our identities.
420
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:39,324
Why?
421
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:41,777
So they can blow up the capital.
422
00:17:41,777 --> 00:17:42,778
"Blow up the capital."
423
00:17:42,778 --> 00:17:43,779
Yes!
Now, look, honey...
424
00:17:43,779 --> 00:17:44,780
Now, wait a minute.
425
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:46,281
Maybe we better pay attention to
Lucy.
426
00:17:46,281 --> 00:17:47,783
After all, she was in their
apartment.
427
00:17:47,783 --> 00:17:49,284
Yeah, and I'm going to call the
police.
428
00:17:49,284 --> 00:17:50,285
I got to get them over here.
429
00:17:50,786 --> 00:17:51,787
We got to save the country.
430
00:17:51,787 --> 00:17:53,288
Now, now, look, honey, calm down,
will you?
431
00:17:53,288 --> 00:17:54,790
Let's talk this thing over.
432
00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:56,792
Now, wait a minute.
A lot of talking you're going to do
433
00:17:56,792 --> 00:17:58,794
with a silver wire wrapped around
your neck.
434
00:17:58,794 --> 00:17:59,795
Silver wire?
435
00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:00,796
Yeah!
436
00:18:00,796 --> 00:18:02,297
Aw, honey, you better lie down.
437
00:18:02,297 --> 00:18:03,799
Come on, now.
I don't want to lie down!
438
00:18:03,799 --> 00:18:06,802
If I go, I want to be...
go standing up fighting.
439
00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:09,304
I think it's time to turn on the
furnace.
Good luck, Rick.
440
00:18:09,304 --> 00:18:10,806
And you go with him, Ricky.
441
00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:12,808
All right.
I'll try to settle her down.
442
00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:15,310
Ricky, you're not going to leave me
at a time like this!
443
00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:16,812
When you come back, I might be gone!
444
00:18:16,812 --> 00:18:18,814
Well, if you go, leave me a note
445
00:18:18,814 --> 00:18:21,817
and tell me where I can find my clean
socks.
446
00:18:21,817 --> 00:18:22,818
Ricky!
447
00:18:22,818 --> 00:18:23,819
Why won't anybody believe me?
448
00:18:23,819 --> 00:18:25,320
Oh...
I'm telling you I heard.
449
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,822
Oh, come on, now, honey.
I heard it!
I heard it!
450
00:18:27,322 --> 00:18:28,323
Calm down.
I know what I heard!
451
00:18:28,323 --> 00:18:30,826
Now, Lucy, are you sure you heard
right?
452
00:18:30,826 --> 00:18:32,327
Cross my heart and hope to... Oh!
453
00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:33,829
Oh, dear.
454
00:18:33,829 --> 00:18:36,331
Well, I'm not going to sit here like
a sitting duck.
455
00:18:36,331 --> 00:18:37,833
I'm going to call the police.
456
00:18:39,835 --> 00:18:41,837
Operator, give me the police.
457
00:18:41,837 --> 00:18:44,840
(ringing)
458
00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:47,843
32nd Precinct.
Sergeant Morton speaking.
459
00:18:47,843 --> 00:18:49,344
Help!
460
00:18:51,346 --> 00:18:52,848
Name, please.
461
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:56,351
Mrs. Ricky Ricardo.
462
00:18:56,351 --> 00:18:58,353
Send a squad of men over right away.
463
00:18:58,353 --> 00:19:00,355
Send two squads, the whole force.
464
00:19:00,355 --> 00:19:02,357
Address?
465
00:19:02,357 --> 00:19:05,360
623 East 68th Street, and hurry.
466
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:08,864
Now, Mrs. Ricardo, what seems to be
your trouble?
467
00:19:08,864 --> 00:19:11,366
Well... some people that moved in
downstairs
468
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:12,868
are plotting to kill us.
469
00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:13,869
Do you know these people?
470
00:19:13,869 --> 00:19:15,370
No.
471
00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:17,372
Then, how do you know they're going
to kill you?
472
00:19:17,372 --> 00:19:18,373
I heard them.
473
00:19:18,373 --> 00:19:19,875
I-I just happened to be hiding
474
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,376
in their closet at the time.
475
00:19:21,376 --> 00:19:22,377
I see.
476
00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:25,380
And why do you suppose they want to
kill you?
477
00:19:25,380 --> 00:19:26,882
So they can assume our identities
478
00:19:26,882 --> 00:19:28,383
and blow up the capital.
479
00:19:28,383 --> 00:19:29,384
This is serious.
480
00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:30,886
You're darn right it is!
481
00:19:30,886 --> 00:19:33,889
These people are agents of some
foreign government.
482
00:19:33,889 --> 00:19:34,890
What's their names?
483
00:19:34,890 --> 00:19:36,391
O'Brien.
484
00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:45,400
Lady, have you been nipping on the
cooking sherry?
485
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,402
Oh, please, you've got to believe me.
486
00:19:47,402 --> 00:19:49,404
I'm-I'm living on borrowed time.
487
00:19:49,404 --> 00:19:51,406
It was only by a very clever ruse
488
00:19:51,406 --> 00:19:53,909
that I managed to escape from their
apartment
489
00:19:53,909 --> 00:19:55,410
right under their eyes.
490
00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:57,412
And how did you manage that?
491
00:19:57,412 --> 00:19:58,914
I pretended to be a chair.
492
00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:05,921
I don't think the police can help
you, madam.
493
00:20:05,921 --> 00:20:07,923
Why don't you call an upholsterer?
494
00:20:09,424 --> 00:20:11,426
Oh, Officer, please, I'm serious.
495
00:20:11,426 --> 00:20:12,928
My life is at stake.
496
00:20:12,928 --> 00:20:13,929
What'll I do?
497
00:20:14,429 --> 00:20:14,930
Just relax.
498
00:20:15,430 --> 00:20:16,431
Take it easy...
499
00:20:16,431 --> 00:20:20,936
and in time, you may grow up to be a
nice big sofa!
500
00:20:20,936 --> 00:20:22,938
But, Officer...
501
00:20:22,938 --> 00:20:24,439
Oh, Officer!
Oh, come on, now, Lucy.
502
00:20:24,439 --> 00:20:25,941
Aw, nobody will believe me.
Come on, honey
503
00:20:25,941 --> 00:20:27,943
don't you think a good hot bath and a
nice rest
504
00:20:27,943 --> 00:20:30,445
I keep telling you what's happening
will help you relax?
505
00:20:30,445 --> 00:20:32,447
but nobody will believe me!
But, after all, Lucy...
506
00:20:32,447 --> 00:20:33,448
To arms! To arms!
To arms! To arms!
507
00:20:33,949 --> 00:20:35,450
ETHEL: What happened?
Lucy's right! Lucy's right!
508
00:20:35,951 --> 00:20:36,952
We listened through the furnace pipe.
509
00:20:36,952 --> 00:20:37,953
Yeah!
See?
510
00:20:37,953 --> 00:20:39,454
Yeah, th-they are planning to kill us
511
00:20:39,454 --> 00:20:40,455
and blow up the capital!
512
00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:41,957
Yeah, well, now, maybe you'll believe
me
513
00:20:41,957 --> 00:20:42,958
when I tell you something.
514
00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:44,459
I'm going to call the police right
away!
515
00:20:44,459 --> 00:20:46,461
I just did.
They don't care a darn about it.
516
00:20:46,461 --> 00:20:47,963
Well, they're not going to get us
without a fight.
517
00:20:47,963 --> 00:20:48,964
I'm going to get my rifle!
518
00:20:48,964 --> 00:20:50,465
Yeah, and I got two shotguns
downstairs
519
00:20:50,465 --> 00:20:51,466
and I'll get them, too.
520
00:20:51,466 --> 00:20:52,968
All right, bring both of them.
521
00:20:52,968 --> 00:20:54,970
Lock the doors and shut all the
windows!
Yeah.
522
00:20:54,970 --> 00:20:57,472
BOTH: Lock the doors and shut all the
windows.
523
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:13,272
10:00 in the living room and all's
well!
524
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:19,778
RICKY: 10:00 in the bedroom and all's
well!
525
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:25,784
FRED: 10:00 in the hallway and all's
well!
526
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:29,788
(Ethel mumbling): 10:00 in the
kitchen and all's well!
527
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:34,793
Kitchen sentry, report to the living
room.
528
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:42,301
Yes, sir.
529
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,303
Ethel, are you eating on duty?
530
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:45,304
No, sir.
531
00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:46,805
What's that in your hand?
532
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,307
Um...
533
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,808
Well, I'm not very good with a gun
534
00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:52,311
and I thought if anybody sneaked in
through the back door
535
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,312
I'd beat them to death.
536
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:58,817
Well, I hope they get here before you
eat your club away.
537
00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:01,320
Hup, two, three, four.
Hup, two, three, four.
538
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,323
(grunting military cadence)
539
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,325
Fred, what are you doing away from
your post?
540
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:09,828
I'm hungry and I request transfer to
the kitchen.
541
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:15,717
What do you want?
542
00:22:15,717 --> 00:22:18,720
I'm lonesome in there all by myself.
543
00:22:20,222 --> 00:22:21,223
(banging)
544
00:22:21,223 --> 00:22:23,225
What's that?
I hear something.
545
00:22:23,225 --> 00:22:24,226
FRED: I do, too.
546
00:22:24,226 --> 00:22:27,229
Be calm. Be calm.
547
00:22:27,229 --> 00:22:28,730
Be steady.
Take it easy.
548
00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:30,732
Don't get excited.
549
00:22:30,732 --> 00:22:34,236
Now, don't shoot till you see the
whites of their eyes.
Okay.
550
00:22:34,236 --> 00:22:35,237
Take it easy.
Okay.
Okay.
551
00:22:35,237 --> 00:22:37,239
(phone ringing)
552
00:22:45,747 --> 00:22:47,249
Hello?
553
00:22:47,749 --> 00:22:49,251
No, this isn't the city dump.
554
00:22:49,251 --> 00:22:53,255
You got the wrong number.
555
00:22:53,255 --> 00:22:54,756
Very clever ruse of theirs
556
00:22:54,756 --> 00:22:56,758
to find out if we're home or not.
557
00:22:56,758 --> 00:22:58,760
Right.
Hey, hey.
558
00:22:58,760 --> 00:22:59,761
Go around.
Come here.
559
00:22:59,761 --> 00:23:01,763
What's the matter?
Someone's at the door.
560
00:23:01,763 --> 00:23:03,765
Okay. Be careful.
Be steady.
561
00:23:03,765 --> 00:23:04,766
Be calm.
Get ready.
562
00:23:04,766 --> 00:23:06,268
Just don't be trigger-happy now.
Oh?
563
00:23:06,268 --> 00:23:08,770
Don't shoot till it's absolutely
necessary.
All right.
564
00:23:08,770 --> 00:23:10,272
All right?
Okay.
Okay.
565
00:23:10,272 --> 00:23:11,273
(doorbell buzzes)
566
00:23:31,593 --> 00:23:32,594
Good morning, folks.
567
00:23:33,095 --> 00:23:34,596
ALL: Good morning.
568
00:23:34,596 --> 00:23:35,597
(grumbles)
569
00:23:35,597 --> 00:23:38,600
Well, I finally got this thing
straightened out.
570
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,102
You have?
You did?
What?
571
00:23:40,102 --> 00:23:41,103
Great.
Yeah.
572
00:23:41,103 --> 00:23:42,604
The O'Briens are actors.
573
00:23:42,604 --> 00:23:45,607
What you heard was a play they were
rehearsing.
574
00:23:45,607 --> 00:23:48,110
Eww!
575
00:23:51,113 --> 00:23:53,115
You can go now.
576
00:23:56,618 --> 00:23:57,119
Mr. Mertz.
577
00:23:57,619 --> 00:23:58,120
Yeah?
578
00:23:58,620 --> 00:24:00,122
The O'Briens told me to tell you
579
00:24:00,122 --> 00:24:02,124
they're moving out of your apartment.
580
00:24:02,124 --> 00:24:03,625
Aw... fine.
581
00:24:03,625 --> 00:24:05,627
This is all your fault, Lucy.
582
00:24:06,128 --> 00:24:08,630
FRED: Yes, and you'll pay that rent
till we get another tenant.
583
00:24:08,630 --> 00:24:11,133
And one of your trigger-happy
sentinels
584
00:24:11,133 --> 00:24:13,135
shot a hole in the hot water pipe.
585
00:24:13,135 --> 00:24:15,137
Your whole apartment is flooded.
586
00:24:15,637 --> 00:24:17,139
And she'll pay for that, too!
587
00:24:19,057 --> 00:24:21,560
Oh, come on, Fred, we better hurry
home.
588
00:24:25,063 --> 00:24:28,066
Uh, you must be the famous, uh, Ricky
Ricardo.
589
00:24:28,066 --> 00:24:30,068
Oh, you heard about me, eh?
590
00:24:30,068 --> 00:24:32,070
In the paper...
this morning.
591
00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:34,573
Oh, in the paper.
592
00:24:34,573 --> 00:24:36,074
Front page.
593
00:24:36,074 --> 00:24:41,079
"Orchestra Leader...
Jailed in Shooting Spree."
594
00:24:42,581 --> 00:24:43,582
Cuando la lleve a la casa
595
00:24:43,582 --> 00:24:45,584
le voy a cortar la cabeza en dos
pedazos.
596
00:24:45,584 --> 00:24:47,085
Come on, sweetheart.
Come on.
597
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:48,587
Come on, sweetheart.
598
00:24:48,587 --> 00:24:49,588
Let's go home.
599
00:24:49,588 --> 00:24:51,590
Come on, lady, you can go out in the
world now.
600
00:24:51,590 --> 00:24:53,091
Nobody's going to kill you.
601
00:24:53,091 --> 00:24:55,093
Come on, sweetheart.
Come on.
602
00:24:55,093 --> 00:24:58,597
Come on, sweetheart.
603
00:24:58,597 --> 00:25:00,098
Lock the door, Officer.
604
00:25:00,098 --> 00:25:02,100
I like it better in here.
605
00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:13,979
(theme music playing)
606
00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:26,491
ANNOUNCER: The part of Mrs. O'Brien
was played by Kate T. Stevens.
607
00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:29,995
The part of Mr. O'Brien was played by
Hayden Rourke.
608
00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:33,498
The part of the policeman was played
by Alan Jenkins.
609
00:25:47,512 --> 00:25:51,516
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
610
00:25:51,516 --> 00:25:55,520
ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.
41398
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