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1
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[ In 1862, the first
trans-continental railroad ]
3
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[ unleashed a great westward
wave of white settlers. ]
4
00:00:48,005 --> 00:00:52,211
[ They all rushed into the land
that once belonged to the Indians. ]
5
00:00:52,807 --> 00:00:57,953
[ At an unguarded railroad crossing,
Apache Chief, Abahachi ]
6
00:00:58,043 --> 00:01:02,280
[ had his life saved by a white
Southerner named Ranger. ]
7
00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:06,175
[ Apache custom demanded
they become blood brothers. ]
8
00:01:06,263 --> 00:01:07,855
[ They had no choice. ]
9
00:01:07,932 --> 00:01:12,666
[ Abahachi and Ranger did
what tradition required of them. ]
10
00:01:33,104 --> 00:01:35,230
[ Ow! Are you crazy? ]
11
00:01:51,004 --> 00:01:56,230
12
00:03:27,588 --> 00:03:29,330
[Careful, there's a curve ahead!]
13
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:32,854
[Shut your trap!
I've driven this route for 40 years.]
14
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:50,770
[Dull arrow.]
15
00:03:53,731 --> 00:03:55,923
[Pointy arrow!]
16
00:04:13,397 --> 00:04:15,492
[Strangers!]
17
00:04:37,563 --> 00:04:41,015
In Abahachi's face
you see pain and grief.
18
00:04:41,079 --> 00:04:43,050
Clouds darken the land on which
19
00:04:43,079 --> 00:04:46,350
- the Shoshone sun once shone.
- Here we go again!
20
00:04:46,372 --> 00:04:49,012
Abahachi and his white blood
brother, Ranger say "How"
21
00:04:49,046 --> 00:04:53,330
- to chief, Cunny Lizard.
- 'Cunning'.
22
00:04:53,373 --> 00:04:56,355
- What?
- 'Cunning' Lizard, not cunny.
23
00:04:56,393 --> 00:04:59,914
Abahachi brings Shoshone
chief's dead son.
24
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,930
Abahachi is a murderer!
25
00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:04,490
Now, hold on a moment.
Gross misunderstanding!
26
00:05:04,552 --> 00:05:06,158
Yeah, real gross!
27
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,211
Aveng konakate!
28
00:05:24,309 --> 00:05:26,955
Hey, what have you got
in your arms?
29
00:05:27,045 --> 00:05:28,523
Is it a puppy?
30
00:05:29,099 --> 00:05:30,919
[Where is my gold?]
31
00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:32,407
What?
32
00:05:33,513 --> 00:05:35,304
Yeah... Well...
33
00:05:35,454 --> 00:05:36,740
Where is my gold?
34
00:05:36,793 --> 00:05:38,585
Let him finish, asshole!
35
00:05:38,610 --> 00:05:41,725
- Shh, are you crazy?
- He should let you finish.
36
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,621
Um... here's the thing...
37
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:48,599
We had an appointment
with a realtor from Wyoming.
38
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:52,293
I'd seen his ad in
the paper. It read:
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00:05:52,488 --> 00:05:57,177
"Quiet saloon: like new,
no transfer fee, available immediately".
40
00:05:57,214 --> 00:06:00,370
The clear choice
for my tribe's new pub.
41
00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:04,829
Also his associates
impressed us as respectable.
42
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:09,342
I didn't want to miss this bargain,
so I borrowed your gold.
43
00:06:11,611 --> 00:06:13,157
Indians!
44
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:15,326
Hi, y'all!
45
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,157
♪
46
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:37,357
♪ Straight to hell!
47
00:06:37,435 --> 00:06:39,878
With typical Shoshone
punctuality,
48
00:06:39,915 --> 00:06:43,145
your son, Fake Hare,
showed up with Shoshone cash.
49
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:45,570
We all reached an understanding.
50
00:06:46,116 --> 00:06:47,304
Hi.
51
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:49,085
(Hi, sit-pisser!)
52
00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:52,100
Let me introduce you:
Fake Hare, Santa Maria;
53
00:06:52,155 --> 00:06:53,483
Santa Maria, Ranger;
54
00:06:53,529 --> 00:06:54,741
Ranger, Santa Maria,
55
00:06:54,798 --> 00:06:57,343
Ranger, Hare, the
Shoshone chief's son.
56
00:06:57,398 --> 00:06:58,607
Sho'nuff, Shoshone!
57
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:00,288
The deal was done.
58
00:07:00,329 --> 00:07:03,522
I was the proudest Indian
in the whole world!
59
00:07:03,907 --> 00:07:09,366
[Term: 15 years, monthly payments. Interest
35.8% at maturity + Value-added tax]
60
00:07:09,457 --> 00:07:10,964
Yeah, exactly!
61
00:07:11,468 --> 00:07:12,973
What did he just say?
62
00:07:13,003 --> 00:07:15,990
Not sure, he speaks a horrible dialect.
63
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,206
Abahachi?
64
00:07:17,212 --> 00:07:18,502
Yeah?
65
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,134
Ah!
66
00:07:20,194 --> 00:07:22,857
We got a free bottle of firewater.
67
00:07:22,919 --> 00:07:25,818
Congratulations on your new saloon.
68
00:07:25,876 --> 00:07:27,809
This is on the house.
69
00:07:30,024 --> 00:07:33,233
I christen you, uh... um...
70
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,795
- Apache pub.
- Apache pub.
71
00:07:46,376 --> 00:07:48,336
I'd complain about that, now.
72
00:07:48,378 --> 00:07:50,135
Gotta run!
73
00:07:53,328 --> 00:07:55,884
Feels comfortable in the hand.
74
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,376
- Congratulations!
- For what? - You own this door.
75
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:06,966
You're never happy.
Always complaining.
76
00:08:10,247 --> 00:08:14,523
BBQ nights, hanging out,
Indian lessons in your saloon!
77
00:08:14,588 --> 00:08:16,948
I never said, lessons!
78
00:08:21,644 --> 00:08:25,333
Well, we're done.
Hand me the white flag.
79
00:08:25,454 --> 00:08:28,311
Where am I gonna get
a white flag, here?
80
00:08:28,433 --> 00:08:32,548
Every Indian carries one,
you're the only one who doesn't!
81
00:08:32,891 --> 00:08:35,326
Then it got quiet, too quiet.
82
00:08:35,772 --> 00:08:40,389
The realtor from Wyoming
and his associates were gone.
83
00:08:40,537 --> 00:08:42,950
Only your son lay in the grass.
84
00:08:43,026 --> 00:08:46,208
I wondered how he could
sleep with all that noise.
85
00:08:46,249 --> 00:08:47,553
Hey, they're gone!
86
00:08:47,888 --> 00:08:50,404
- He's beyond caring.
- Why?
87
00:08:50,690 --> 00:08:52,443
He is...
88
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:57,214
We paid our last respects
to Fake Hare.
89
00:09:04,595 --> 00:09:07,190
Can't you do anything right?
90
00:09:09,603 --> 00:09:13,413
The truth is, the man who cheated
my tribe out of its saloon
91
00:09:13,476 --> 00:09:15,890
is also the murderer of your son.
92
00:09:16,015 --> 00:09:19,083
And he stole your gold, to boot!
93
00:09:19,242 --> 00:09:21,613
And what is the name of this man?
94
00:09:21,873 --> 00:09:23,544
Santa Maria.
95
00:09:23,607 --> 00:09:26,583
You robbed the gold
of the Shoshone!
96
00:09:26,647 --> 00:09:28,403
You killed my son!
97
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:32,372
And now you badmouth
the friends of my tribe!
98
00:09:33,453 --> 00:09:35,479
Right you are, 'Cunning Newt'.
99
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,545
Am I crazy, or what?
100
00:09:37,590 --> 00:09:39,654
These are your son's murderers!
101
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,537
No! Don't believe a word.
102
00:09:41,603 --> 00:09:44,052
Santa Maria speaks with
forked tongue.
103
00:09:44,111 --> 00:09:46,208
When the sun outshines the moon
104
00:09:46,271 --> 00:09:49,810
the Shoshone will send
Abahachi and his white brother
105
00:09:49,868 --> 00:09:51,985
to the Happy Hunting Grounds.
106
00:09:52,071 --> 00:09:54,651
Cunning Lizard has spoken!
107
00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:56,706
Oh, that's real 'cunning'!
108
00:09:56,780 --> 00:09:59,781
An Apache in a pinch!
Abahachi...
109
00:09:59,914 --> 00:10:01,281
Ranger...
110
00:10:01,414 --> 00:10:04,563
Hombre, I'm clocking off.
111
00:10:04,711 --> 00:10:07,649
Be so kind as to keep an eye
on them tonight,
112
00:10:07,742 --> 00:10:10,114
we wanna see them die tomorrow.
113
00:10:10,251 --> 00:10:12,087
Sure, boss.
114
00:10:20,438 --> 00:10:21,589
You...
115
00:10:21,656 --> 00:10:23,099
What is it?
116
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,407
I'm sorry.
117
00:10:26,732 --> 00:10:28,622
Why? Everything's wonderful!
118
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We each have our own pole.
119
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,075
And tomorrow our troubles
will be over, Abahachi!
120
00:10:33,141 --> 00:10:35,316
- Don't be like that.
- Like what?
121
00:10:35,371 --> 00:10:38,519
I'm fed up with 16 years of
your harebrained schemes!
122
00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:40,794
Every other day, tied to some pole!
123
00:10:40,852 --> 00:10:43,581
Shh, not so loud,
it's none of their business!
124
00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:45,450
What's wrong with you lately?
125
00:10:45,529 --> 00:10:48,613
I'm not happy with
the whole situation!
126
00:10:51,755 --> 00:10:53,278
Why not?
127
00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:55,661
What do we do all day long?
128
00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:00,193
Pointless stalking,
reading tracks for hours,
129
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,560
and senseless riding
side by side.
130
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,855
- You call that riding?!
- What's wrong with my riding?
131
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:07,708
It's more like animal cruelty!
132
00:11:07,763 --> 00:11:09,976
- Lick my ass!
- How?!
133
00:11:23,723 --> 00:11:25,191
Whssht...
134
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,255
Pssst...
135
00:11:30,571 --> 00:11:32,645
(Abahachi!)
136
00:11:35,131 --> 00:11:37,850
[ Me-eh-eh-eh! ]
137
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:44,694
[ Moooooh! ]
138
00:11:47,398 --> 00:11:50,492
[ Ki-ki-ki-ki! ]
139
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,842
[Quiet out there!]
140
00:11:52,999 --> 00:11:55,366
[Shut up, or I'll call the cops!]
141
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:57,138
[Goddamit, again!]
142
00:11:57,193 --> 00:12:01,270
[I got an ass-load of deadlines tomorrow
and you bums won't let me sleep!]
143
00:12:01,369 --> 00:12:03,043
[Lighds out!]
144
00:12:03,443 --> 00:12:06,036
[Light is spelled with a "t".]
145
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:28,235
- Hear that?
- Sh, sh...
146
00:12:28,298 --> 00:12:30,874
A man got a stone
in the privates.
147
00:12:30,952 --> 00:12:34,835
Like a stone in the family jewels.
Look, the guard's asleep.
148
00:12:35,487 --> 00:12:38,318
- What did you say?
- The guard's asleep?
149
00:12:38,372 --> 00:12:40,735
No, before, about family jewels.
150
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:42,218
Just a bad pun.
151
00:12:42,243 --> 00:12:44,246
This is no pun,
it's the solution!
152
00:12:44,271 --> 00:12:46,849
I have one.
I'd completely forgotten.
153
00:12:46,879 --> 00:12:49,549
- What have you got?
- A jewel; a huge one!
154
00:12:49,604 --> 00:12:50,729
My treasure.
155
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:55,006
Great, now he mentions the treasure!
When it can't help us.
156
00:12:55,068 --> 00:12:57,904
Sure, it can!
To pay back the Shoshone.
157
00:12:57,958 --> 00:13:01,052
Abahachi, we have a murder rap
around our necks.
158
00:13:01,158 --> 00:13:05,315
We must prove that Santa Maria
murdered Fake Hare.
159
00:13:05,444 --> 00:13:06,952
Yeah, of course.
160
00:13:07,401 --> 00:13:11,500
Besides all I have is one piece
of the treasure map.
161
00:13:11,979 --> 00:13:15,243
You know, sometimes I think
you do it on purpose.
162
00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:19,403
When I was a little Indian,
163
00:13:19,671 --> 00:13:22,841
my grandfather Gray Star
took me hunting.
164
00:13:23,138 --> 00:13:26,716
He always stressed the importance
of dividing up the take.
165
00:13:26,777 --> 00:13:31,411
I divided everything:
18 by 9, 13 by 7, 16 by 5, 17 by 8,
166
00:13:31,694 --> 00:13:36,145
Grandfather would call me
the Smallest Common Divisor.
167
00:13:36,922 --> 00:13:38,977
Many summers passed.
168
00:13:39,208 --> 00:13:42,810
On his deathbed
he gave me a treasure map.
169
00:13:43,016 --> 00:13:44,920
And you divided it.
170
00:13:45,101 --> 00:13:46,101
Yeah...
171
00:13:46,609 --> 00:13:48,020
by four.
172
00:13:48,116 --> 00:13:52,078
- Who has the other three pieces?
- I don't know, I was drunk.
173
00:13:52,988 --> 00:13:55,474
Well... I do remember one.
174
00:13:55,685 --> 00:13:57,583
Thank God...
175
00:13:59,449 --> 00:14:00,918
Who did this?
176
00:14:00,987 --> 00:14:03,380
Who cares, let's go.
177
00:14:14,529 --> 00:14:18,244
Well done, Hombre,
I'm almost proud of you.
178
00:14:18,659 --> 00:14:22,575
Follow them discreetly.
I'll stay here with Jim and John.
179
00:14:22,677 --> 00:14:25,620
Chief 'Love Lizard' mustn't
suspect a thing.
180
00:14:26,113 --> 00:14:27,672
We'll meet tomorrow in camp.
181
00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:29,330
Ok, boss.
182
00:14:29,355 --> 00:14:30,698
Hombre?
183
00:14:32,310 --> 00:14:34,098
We make a great team.
184
00:14:36,857 --> 00:14:37,920
Ahem!
185
00:14:38,193 --> 00:14:40,122
[Cock-a-doodle-doo!]
186
00:14:40,419 --> 00:14:42,262
[Cock-a-doodle-doo!]
187
00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:05,445
Oh, god...
188
00:15:05,595 --> 00:15:07,742
a terrible accident!
189
00:15:09,236 --> 00:15:11,622
Doesn't look good, boss!
190
00:15:12,888 --> 00:15:15,490
It was a cowardly murder!
191
00:15:21,101 --> 00:15:25,177
Now they must answer for
'Authentic' Hare, too.
192
00:15:25,453 --> 00:15:27,388
This means war!
193
00:15:27,829 --> 00:15:29,302
Sorry, we gotta rush!
194
00:15:29,365 --> 00:15:33,919
Jim, John, we don't wanna
wear out our welcome... Take care!
195
00:15:34,544 --> 00:15:38,240
Unbury the war hatchet!
196
00:15:39,168 --> 00:15:41,001
We don't have one.
197
00:15:41,068 --> 00:15:43,589
We don't we have a war hatchet?
198
00:15:43,839 --> 00:15:46,558
We got one from Wal-Mart,
199
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,118
but it broke.
200
00:15:49,345 --> 00:15:52,009
What could we dig up, then?
201
00:15:52,056 --> 00:15:55,118
Um, we have a folding chair.
202
00:15:56,335 --> 00:15:59,655
Dig up the chair!
203
00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:04,786
- What is it?
- I smell something.
204
00:16:04,811 --> 00:16:06,612
It wasn't me!
205
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:14,041
Look! Shoshone smoke-signals.
206
00:16:14,146 --> 00:16:16,364
Yeah? What are they saying?
207
00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:18,157
They're after us.
208
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:21,656
And they dug up a folding chair.
209
00:16:22,992 --> 00:16:25,724
Is this totally nuts, or what?
210
00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:33,317
The chief of the Apache
must die!
211
00:16:33,365 --> 00:16:36,569
[On your horses!]
212
00:16:38,185 --> 00:16:40,638
[We don't have horses.]
213
00:16:40,779 --> 00:16:43,404
[But I had one, didn't I?]
214
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:45,646
[Well, you did. Unfortunately...]
215
00:16:45,718 --> 00:16:48,490
[it shrunk in the wash.]
216
00:16:55,909 --> 00:16:58,282
What's this place?
217
00:16:59,294 --> 00:17:03,153
Down there we'll find the
second piece of the treasure map!.
218
00:17:03,810 --> 00:17:06,286
So, what are we waiting for?
219
00:17:06,849 --> 00:17:10,386
Yeah... There's something
you really should know.
220
00:17:11,782 --> 00:17:15,354
My white brother needs
to be very strong now.
221
00:17:18,248 --> 00:17:21,163
Abahachi! My brother!
222
00:17:21,806 --> 00:17:24,958
Quick, hugs! My, what a lovely surprise!
223
00:17:25,035 --> 00:17:28,536
This is so unexpected!
I had no chance to tidy up.
224
00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:32,137
And who is that handsome
young man you brought?
225
00:17:32,215 --> 00:17:34,403
Won't you introduce us?
226
00:17:34,578 --> 00:17:37,029
Welcome to Puta Rosa Ranch.
227
00:17:37,115 --> 00:17:40,332
Uh... Twin brother Weenietouch,
blood brother Ranger.
228
00:17:40,357 --> 00:17:42,044
Blood brother; twin brother.
229
00:17:42,093 --> 00:17:44,107
Another brother?!
230
00:18:04,663 --> 00:18:06,203
Asshole!
231
00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:09,179
Sorry, I'm out of sweetener.
232
00:18:09,266 --> 00:18:11,907
Anyway, one Peach Fizz
no firewater.
233
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:14,839
For our patient a Pina Colada.
234
00:18:15,568 --> 00:18:18,168
Or would you prefer Prosecco?
235
00:18:18,912 --> 00:18:20,503
Hah... To us!
236
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:24,207
We'll never be this young, again.
Cheers!
237
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:50,219
I'm so curious to know
how you two met!
238
00:18:53,795 --> 00:18:56,733
Yeah, so... Ranger was a greenhorn.
239
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,873
- Ooo, a greenhorn?
- Yeah.
240
00:18:58,945 --> 00:19:01,021
And one day he saved my life.
241
00:19:01,075 --> 00:19:03,786
And we said, let's
do the blood brother thing.
242
00:19:03,911 --> 00:19:05,990
- With the cutting and all?
- Yeah.
243
00:19:06,075 --> 00:19:07,700
You guys are wild!
244
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,849
But you were always a crazy chick.
245
00:19:09,904 --> 00:19:11,814
That's why Abahachi became chief,
246
00:19:11,839 --> 00:19:15,546
even though I had the prerogative,
being born 2 minutes earlier.
247
00:19:15,576 --> 00:19:18,927
But all that silly whooping
and drumming boom boom...
248
00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:21,345
the arrows the shooting
and the noise...
249
00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:24,286
I wanted to be pearl diver, but I
can't hold my breath too long.
250
00:19:24,379 --> 00:19:28,426
But now I own this Beautyfarm,
the Puta Rosa Ranch. You like it?
251
00:19:28,583 --> 00:19:30,147
- What?
- Like it?
252
00:19:30,249 --> 00:19:32,347
Yeah, wonderful.
253
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:35,405
Weenietouch, we need your help.
254
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:13,122
Men, we're riding out. Mount up!
255
00:20:27,745 --> 00:20:31,406
We don't wanna ride out.
We're tired.
256
00:20:33,728 --> 00:20:35,552
Who said that?
257
00:20:36,419 --> 00:20:39,911
- John did! John did!
- Yes! - We saw him!
258
00:20:51,126 --> 00:20:53,554
So, you're tired, John?
259
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,122
Ok, John, off to bed.
Everybody else, mount up!
260
00:20:59,181 --> 00:21:01,399
- Oh, man! - Asshole! - Daft pig!
261
00:21:01,588 --> 00:21:03,107
What do we say?...
262
00:21:03,216 --> 00:21:05,243
- Good night, John!
- Good night, John!
263
00:21:06,363 --> 00:21:09,708
Mesdames et Messieurs.
My piece of the treasure map.
264
00:21:09,982 --> 00:21:11,232
Voilà!
265
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,786
I knew I could rely on you,
Weenietouch.
266
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:19,018
I can't throw anything away.
I even kept your old toys.
267
00:21:19,105 --> 00:21:21,738
Your Apache Puppet Tent
is in the cellar.
268
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,902
- You played with puppets?
- What? No puppets!
269
00:21:24,927 --> 00:21:28,565
- Can you decifer anything?
- Yeah, but too little.
270
00:21:28,590 --> 00:21:30,622
Oh, too bad! Now what?
271
00:21:30,691 --> 00:21:34,749
How about a drink after that
disappointment? Another lychee limes?
272
00:21:34,774 --> 00:21:37,513
No, thanks, Willie...
Weenie...touch.
273
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,664
Weenietouch, do you recall
to whom I gave the other two pieces?
274
00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:43,633
To the Greek and Uschi!
275
00:21:43,754 --> 00:21:45,468
Ah! Yeah...
276
00:21:45,587 --> 00:21:48,703
Of course: the Greek, Uschi!
277
00:21:53,869 --> 00:21:58,526
We'll have to find them, with the
Shoshones breathing down our necks.
278
00:22:20,826 --> 00:22:22,585
[Wow!]
279
00:22:22,725 --> 00:22:25,694
[Kickass, horse!]
280
00:22:36,779 --> 00:22:40,685
We're interested in your kickass, horse.
281
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:46,697
[We shouldn't have traded
the pony and the folding chair.]
282
00:22:46,794 --> 00:22:49,833
[Will you stop whining, already!]
283
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:53,880
[Chief, that squeaking's unbearable.]
284
00:22:54,818 --> 00:22:57,888
[Then, let the men sing a song.]
285
00:23:06,669 --> 00:23:10,340
Nah! I'm not wearing that,
it's itchy.
286
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:14,466
In that suit
I'll look like a maggot!
287
00:23:14,965 --> 00:23:17,771
Ok, I'll explain once more.
288
00:23:19,805 --> 00:23:22,799
Ranger will ride to Uschi
in Rosewell City.
289
00:23:22,810 --> 00:23:25,956
I'll try to find the Greek.
You pretend to be me,
290
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,918
and lay a false trail to
throw the Shoshone off my scent.
291
00:23:28,929 --> 00:23:31,621
But, I don't smell, at all,
like you.
292
00:23:32,037 --> 00:23:33,216
That's for sure!
293
00:23:33,302 --> 00:23:35,614
If all goes well, we'll
meet at Thunder Valley
294
00:23:35,639 --> 00:23:39,532
by the dandelion at the old linden tree,
where the sun kisses the squirrel.
295
00:23:39,581 --> 00:23:40,630
I'll never find that!
296
00:23:40,687 --> 00:23:42,437
Just a moment!
297
00:23:43,954 --> 00:23:47,503
What if one of us
suddenly gets the measels?
298
00:23:49,946 --> 00:23:54,677
Ok. If anything goes wrong we'll
meet back here at Puta Rosa Ranch, got it?
299
00:23:54,756 --> 00:23:57,642
Back and forth, riding around,
kissing linden trees
300
00:23:57,667 --> 00:24:00,162
Why not stay here?
I'll cook something nice.
301
00:24:00,209 --> 00:24:02,161
I can't shoot and fight, anyway.
302
00:24:02,226 --> 00:24:05,865
I'm afraid your... 'our' brother
needs a crash course.
303
00:24:07,941 --> 00:24:10,644
[ LESSON I ]
[ STALKING ]
304
00:24:10,672 --> 00:24:13,094
Appropriate cover
is of enormous importance
305
00:24:13,150 --> 00:24:15,141
Tree, bush, branch.
306
00:24:15,166 --> 00:24:17,747
Stalking is most fun
on flat ground.
307
00:24:17,810 --> 00:24:22,693
With smooth, rhythmical movements
you can advance quickly and unnoticed
308
00:24:22,841 --> 00:24:25,841
Stalking is part of the
Indians' genetic makeup,
309
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:30,410
eventually everybody develops
their own personal style.
310
00:24:30,950 --> 00:24:33,419
[ LESSON II ]
[ CLOSE COMBAT ]
311
00:24:33,488 --> 00:24:34,883
As a rule,
312
00:24:34,935 --> 00:24:39,732
left-handers use the left fist;
right-handers, the other one.
313
00:24:39,884 --> 00:24:43,777
Precise target acquisition
increases the hit rate.
314
00:24:44,786 --> 00:24:47,341
[ LESSON III ]
[ WAR PAINT ]
315
00:24:47,552 --> 00:24:50,027
War paint has a long tradition
316
00:24:50,122 --> 00:24:53,286
it is used primarily
to scare the enemy.
317
00:24:53,398 --> 00:24:56,607
Abstract war paint is
frequently met with
318
00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:59,668
lack of understanding
and intolerance.
319
00:25:00,784 --> 00:25:03,388
[ LESSON IV ]
[ RIDING ]
320
00:25:03,605 --> 00:25:07,528
The skilled rider anticipates
his horse's every move.
321
00:25:07,577 --> 00:25:10,809
The horse affords both
status and mobility.
322
00:25:10,941 --> 00:25:15,208
However, opinions vary
regarding women drivers.
323
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,638
[ LESSON V ]
[ THE PEACE PIPE ]
324
00:25:19,888 --> 00:25:22,230
This is the symbolic act
of reconcilation.
325
00:25:22,255 --> 00:25:24,973
Or the
"Post-war Chill-out Phase".
326
00:25:25,035 --> 00:25:27,349
The dosage is crucial.
327
00:25:27,443 --> 00:25:29,630
Too much, or the wrong stuff,
328
00:25:29,718 --> 00:25:32,494
can have undesirable side effects.
329
00:25:32,872 --> 00:25:35,489
[ LAST BUT NOT LEAST ]
[ SHOOTING ]
330
00:25:35,788 --> 00:25:39,310
The supreme discipline,
high-tech application!
331
00:25:39,527 --> 00:25:42,105
Man and machine must
form one entity.
332
00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:46,574
The right weapon and caliber
are crucial to the shooter's success.
333
00:25:55,868 --> 00:25:58,444
We'll set out at sunrise.
334
00:26:03,563 --> 00:26:05,591
They're down there, boss.
335
00:26:05,661 --> 00:26:07,685
Good. Don't lose sight of them.
336
00:26:07,888 --> 00:26:09,669
- Post guards.
- Post guards?
337
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,049
Yes, post guards.
338
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:13,013
POST GUARDS!
339
00:26:13,097 --> 00:26:14,818
(Post guards!)...
340
00:26:16,740 --> 00:26:18,357
- Hombre.
- Yeah?
341
00:26:18,662 --> 00:26:20,168
Make some coffee.
342
00:26:20,458 --> 00:26:21,778
What's that?
343
00:26:21,827 --> 00:26:24,496
A hot, caffeinated beverage.
344
00:26:31,034 --> 00:26:35,831
♪ [ Harry Lime Theme ]
345
00:26:37,669 --> 00:26:39,279
My father.
346
00:26:40,021 --> 00:26:41,647
He was still young then.
347
00:26:41,672 --> 00:26:44,178
Always in a good mood.
A crazy dawg.
348
00:26:44,335 --> 00:26:46,008
He was fluent in French.
349
00:26:46,365 --> 00:26:47,527
How come?
350
00:26:47,590 --> 00:26:48,756
Nobody knows.
351
00:26:48,781 --> 00:26:51,778
I also inherited his long hair.
352
00:26:53,699 --> 00:26:55,241
Who is that?
353
00:26:55,288 --> 00:26:59,130
That's Weenietouch...
in Leatherstocking.
354
00:27:02,983 --> 00:27:04,943
And this is Uschi...
355
00:27:05,292 --> 00:27:07,702
What a half-breed!
356
00:27:07,867 --> 00:27:12,771
Back then, she left the tribe
to become a singer in Rosewell City.
357
00:27:28,134 --> 00:27:29,599
What's that?
358
00:27:31,865 --> 00:27:33,376
Someone's making coffee.
359
00:27:33,415 --> 00:27:35,575
Since when do the
Shoshone make coffee?
360
00:27:35,604 --> 00:27:39,620
Weenietouch, hide,
they mustn't see us together!
361
00:27:53,998 --> 00:27:56,281
We're surrounded.
362
00:28:00,542 --> 00:28:02,201
Surprise!
363
00:28:05,694 --> 00:28:07,192
What's that?
364
00:28:07,264 --> 00:28:09,365
My secret little tunnel.
365
00:28:09,435 --> 00:28:12,467
It leads straight under a bush.
366
00:28:55,190 --> 00:28:57,621
Are you guys Shoshones?
367
00:28:57,646 --> 00:28:59,605
Indians!
368
00:29:00,804 --> 00:29:01,950
Indians!
369
00:29:02,554 --> 00:29:03,801
Quick, after him!
370
00:29:04,161 --> 00:29:05,880
Get him!
371
00:29:06,622 --> 00:29:08,251
Yeah, I'll cut him off at the pass!
372
00:29:08,521 --> 00:29:10,658
Don't let that redskin get away.
373
00:29:10,683 --> 00:29:13,028
But don't shoot,
we need him alive.
374
00:29:16,782 --> 00:29:18,684
- My brother.
- My brother.
375
00:30:01,226 --> 00:30:03,906
Do you know why
I pulled you over?
376
00:30:04,031 --> 00:30:05,789
You're a photographer?
377
00:30:05,890 --> 00:30:09,466
Watch it, young man!
My diposition's changeable.
378
00:30:10,140 --> 00:30:11,983
Did you soup up that horse?
379
00:30:12,008 --> 00:30:13,928
It's my brother-in-law's horse.
380
00:30:13,953 --> 00:30:15,694
And why are we in such a hurry?
381
00:30:15,719 --> 00:30:19,006
You know, the Shoshones
have unburied the folding chair.
382
00:30:19,038 --> 00:30:20,986
- The folding chair.
- Yeah.
383
00:30:22,068 --> 00:30:24,383
So, Mr... Ranger,
384
00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:28,024
blow in this straw, please.
385
00:30:31,330 --> 00:30:33,540
0.0 ppt blood alcohol!
386
00:30:33,669 --> 00:30:36,927
Dang,
nobody's ever pulled that off!
387
00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:38,810
Have a good ride.
388
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:17,940
Hi, y'all!
389
00:31:25,446 --> 00:31:28,610
I think I'm seeing a mirage!
390
00:31:29,164 --> 00:31:30,670
Dimitri!
391
00:31:30,774 --> 00:31:33,631
- Abahachi!
- Gesundheit!
392
00:31:33,673 --> 00:31:35,179
It's really you!
393
00:31:35,556 --> 00:31:40,000
Look, friends, this is Abahachi,
the famous Southern Apache chief,
394
00:31:40,025 --> 00:31:42,330
and Ranger's bloody brother.
395
00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:45,075
You're starring in my new book.
396
00:31:45,552 --> 00:31:47,559
- Who's this?
- It's only Karl May.
397
00:31:47,584 --> 00:31:50,505
His head's full of nonsense.
Say, how did you find me?
398
00:31:50,530 --> 00:31:53,974
- You're in the Michelin guide.
- Let's drink to that! - No, not now.
399
00:31:53,999 --> 00:31:56,279
I need to talk to you urgently.
400
00:31:57,956 --> 00:31:59,896
(About our little secret.)
401
00:32:00,521 --> 00:32:01,816
(Hellas!)
402
00:32:02,165 --> 00:32:05,171
(Do you mean our 'map-treasure'?)
403
00:32:10,182 --> 00:32:13,848
A book about an Indian treasure...
404
00:32:15,327 --> 00:32:16,889
That's good!
405
00:32:20,617 --> 00:32:22,126
Where's the treasure map?
406
00:32:22,165 --> 00:32:23,393
Ranger has it...
407
00:32:23,424 --> 00:32:25,502
Oh god, I'm blabbing too much!
408
00:32:25,666 --> 00:32:27,573
And where is this Ranger?
409
00:32:27,623 --> 00:32:29,497
Shopping!
410
00:32:32,002 --> 00:32:34,634
Listen up, Abahachi,
chief of the...
411
00:32:35,591 --> 00:32:36,615
Apache.
412
00:32:36,674 --> 00:32:37,763
Hm. Thanks, Hombre.
413
00:32:37,864 --> 00:32:39,318
No problem, boss.
414
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,659
My patience is coming to an end.
415
00:32:41,691 --> 00:32:44,552
My men are mean, brutal,
and very lonely.
416
00:32:44,872 --> 00:32:46,729
They could hurt you real bad.
417
00:32:46,829 --> 00:32:50,349
Hah! An Indian knows no pain,
we lack the enzymes.
418
00:32:50,428 --> 00:32:53,343
Ow, ow, ow!
419
00:32:53,584 --> 00:32:55,497
Ow! Ow!
420
00:32:55,606 --> 00:32:58,113
Ok, that's enough!
421
00:33:01,432 --> 00:33:02,756
Now, Abahachi...
422
00:33:02,938 --> 00:33:05,927
will you tell me
where Ranger rode off to?
423
00:33:05,998 --> 00:33:10,058
Yeah, fine, I've had enough.
He rode off to see Uschi.
424
00:33:10,371 --> 00:33:11,498
'THE' Uschi?
425
00:33:11,543 --> 00:33:14,302
Yeah, untie me.
I'm not playing anymore.
426
00:33:14,357 --> 00:33:18,587
Sorry, Abahachi, we need you...
as a hostage.
427
00:33:18,629 --> 00:33:20,580
You're so mean!
428
00:33:21,814 --> 00:33:25,556
Hombre, stay here
and guard our chief.
429
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,695
If we're not back in 2 days,
430
00:33:27,749 --> 00:33:29,601
do away with him.
431
00:33:33,715 --> 00:33:36,067
Gotcha, boss.
432
00:33:37,044 --> 00:33:41,987
Hey, I'm warning you, when you go to
the toilet, you'd better sit down!
433
00:33:48,584 --> 00:33:51,012
One whore, here Helene!
434
00:34:04,483 --> 00:34:07,723
Seriously, how do the holes
get in the cheese?
435
00:34:09,861 --> 00:34:11,398
Hi, y'all.
436
00:34:11,467 --> 00:34:15,294
You must be Ranger!
The man with the southern slang.
437
00:34:15,340 --> 00:34:20,155
Friend of the Indians. Founder of
"Doctors Against Fire Arrows".
438
00:34:20,209 --> 00:34:24,369
What brings you to these godforsaken parts?
439
00:34:26,363 --> 00:34:29,693
Is there a certain Uschi
working here?
440
00:34:29,777 --> 00:34:31,852
Oh yeah!
441
00:34:40,597 --> 00:34:42,167
Wow!
442
00:34:43,876 --> 00:34:45,380
Hi.
443
00:34:46,787 --> 00:34:48,904
♪ Hello, you.
444
00:34:51,204 --> 00:34:54,865
♪ I ask you
and all the the other men, too.
445
00:34:55,038 --> 00:34:59,366
♪ Is it true that I'm driving you crazy?
446
00:34:59,454 --> 00:35:02,615
♪ Come on, tell me, sugar boys.
447
00:35:03,329 --> 00:35:07,036
♪ Hey, what you get is what you see,
448
00:35:07,288 --> 00:35:10,684
♪ You cannot help, you must fall for me.
449
00:35:10,913 --> 00:35:14,326
♪ What's in your
wildest dreams, I'll go for
450
00:35:14,832 --> 00:35:17,005
♪ Widdely waddely woo, ah!
451
00:35:17,228 --> 00:35:21,205
♪ Maybe I've got you, dooby do
452
00:35:22,161 --> 00:35:25,591
♪ I said you shooby dooby
453
00:35:25,962 --> 00:35:30,341
♪ It's the clue that makes a good girl
454
00:35:30,455 --> 00:35:33,615
♪ wanna work my hip like that.
455
00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:37,013
♪ And though I go alone to bed.
456
00:35:37,178 --> 00:35:38,826
♪ Powww!
457
00:35:57,252 --> 00:36:00,494
You have... wonderful bells.
458
00:36:00,551 --> 00:36:03,166
They're my grandmother's bells.
459
00:36:03,771 --> 00:36:05,592
Great!
460
00:36:06,570 --> 00:36:09,480
Do you happen to have
a needle and thread?
461
00:36:09,569 --> 00:36:11,745
Oh! Yeah, of course.
462
00:36:18,352 --> 00:36:20,248
Here you go.
463
00:36:34,355 --> 00:36:36,607
Well, then... here you are.
464
00:36:36,802 --> 00:36:38,482
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
465
00:36:39,505 --> 00:36:41,401
So, then, I can leave.
466
00:36:41,497 --> 00:36:42,941
No, don't go!
467
00:36:43,167 --> 00:36:46,925
I'm... I'm actually here
about the treasure map.
468
00:36:47,086 --> 00:36:48,407
Oh god!
469
00:36:48,436 --> 00:36:51,044
You do, have a piece of the map?
470
00:36:51,518 --> 00:36:53,482
Could you undo my choker?
471
00:36:53,549 --> 00:36:55,068
Yeah, sure.
472
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,896
(Don't talk about the map)
473
00:36:58,106 --> 00:36:59,223
What?
474
00:36:59,309 --> 00:37:01,481
(Don't talk about the map, here)
475
00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:04,313
Ok, then, I'll do it from... there.
476
00:37:06,208 --> 00:37:10,367
OK, Abahachi has two pieces
of the treasure map, already.
477
00:37:10,558 --> 00:37:14,853
The third is with a Greek named, Dimitri.
He went to get it.
478
00:37:14,908 --> 00:37:17,259
- Shh!
- The fourth is with you.
479
00:37:17,321 --> 00:37:21,048
With it, the map is complete
and everybody's happy.
480
00:37:22,958 --> 00:37:25,983
Yeah, now I'm happy, too.
481
00:37:26,238 --> 00:37:29,835
Hey, you didn't overhear
any of this, did you?
482
00:37:30,319 --> 00:37:33,192
Ranger, I have a confession
to make.
483
00:37:33,450 --> 00:37:35,159
Abahachi is our hostage.
484
00:37:35,184 --> 00:37:37,098
Oh, wonderful! So predictable!
485
00:37:37,137 --> 00:37:40,786
And you, my little goldfish,
tell me your sweet secret, quick.
486
00:37:40,854 --> 00:37:43,583
Where is your piece of the map? Or...
487
00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:46,779
shall I let my men loose?
488
00:37:50,620 --> 00:37:51,919
Eww!
489
00:37:51,977 --> 00:37:55,449
Hey, hands off, she has
nothing to do with this!
490
00:37:55,645 --> 00:37:57,192
Take me.
491
00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:03,615
Um, take the woman, then.
492
00:38:32,203 --> 00:38:35,849
Oh! A lovely back is also delightful.
493
00:38:35,865 --> 00:38:38,203
Especially if it's worth gold.
494
00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:39,758
Oh, no!
495
00:38:39,833 --> 00:38:43,161
So... whoever wants ice cream
can get one,
496
00:38:43,205 --> 00:38:45,326
then it's back to camp!
497
00:39:01,205 --> 00:39:05,296
Then we moved 'cause they
drove us out of our territory.
498
00:39:05,350 --> 00:39:08,068
So we became 'Rucksack Indians'.
499
00:39:08,154 --> 00:39:11,941
Originally I wanted to go to
San Francisco to be a pearl diver,
500
00:39:11,966 --> 00:39:14,004
but it's crawling
with earthquakes.
501
00:39:14,058 --> 00:39:18,531
Do you even know what an earthquake is?
Never mind, you didn't miss much.
502
00:39:18,588 --> 00:39:21,663
All done; off to the spa!
503
00:39:30,763 --> 00:39:34,427
[Eh! Are we through?]
504
00:39:38,121 --> 00:39:42,223
[No, we need to try again!]
505
00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:50,748
- Uh-oh!
- What is it?
506
00:39:50,874 --> 00:39:53,906
Apollo 13 is afraid of the
'road-rail' crossing.
507
00:39:53,915 --> 00:39:55,173
How come?
508
00:39:55,549 --> 00:40:00,276
His 12 brothers were all
run over by a big locomotive.
509
00:40:00,356 --> 00:40:03,773
There's only one thing for it: Ouzo!
510
00:40:03,923 --> 00:40:06,427
Uh, um, Dimitri,
we must move on!
511
00:40:06,452 --> 00:40:09,102
There's no train anywhere
in sight.
512
00:40:12,737 --> 00:40:16,474
See, Apollo 13 is an intelligent mule.
513
00:40:21,855 --> 00:40:25,774
Apollo 13, are you off your rocker?
514
00:40:25,923 --> 00:40:27,406
Oh!
515
00:40:27,773 --> 00:40:29,821
Come on, I'm begging you!
516
00:40:29,929 --> 00:40:32,657
Apollo 13, don't make trouble for us!
517
00:40:34,147 --> 00:40:36,789
This is a very fast train.
518
00:40:39,167 --> 00:40:43,161
Apollo 13, don't be so
pig-headed, Hellas!
519
00:40:45,302 --> 00:40:47,991
This might be cutting it close.
520
00:41:28,902 --> 00:41:31,714
[Great, now we can move on!]
521
00:41:45,574 --> 00:41:48,962
Dismount! We'll stay here tonight.
522
00:41:49,150 --> 00:41:52,751
At sunrise we'll go on
to the Puta Rosa Ranch.
523
00:42:03,312 --> 00:42:06,748
Why the hell is the light on,
in my hut?
524
00:42:07,140 --> 00:42:09,575
But boss, that's John...
525
00:42:10,135 --> 00:42:12,318
you sent him to bed.
526
00:42:12,478 --> 00:42:14,154
Oh, yeah!
527
00:42:16,457 --> 00:42:19,354
Isn't it great to come home and know...
528
00:42:19,688 --> 00:42:22,171
that someone's waiting for you?
529
00:42:22,506 --> 00:42:24,764
The smell of fresh-brewed coffee...
530
00:42:24,834 --> 00:42:27,786
crispy fried bacon,
and in the distance...
531
00:42:27,855 --> 00:42:30,005
a wolf sings a lonely song.
532
00:42:30,413 --> 00:42:33,163
♪ Strangers in the night, it's so...
533
00:42:34,436 --> 00:42:37,840
What an asshole!
John drank from my cup.
534
00:42:37,936 --> 00:42:39,708
John slept in my bed.
535
00:42:39,793 --> 00:42:42,143
John stuck my pen up his butt!
536
00:42:42,193 --> 00:42:44,857
Yeah, that's John!
537
00:43:00,247 --> 00:43:03,318
Did you know the Shoshones
had a folding chair?
538
00:43:03,403 --> 00:43:05,333
- No.
- Yes!
539
00:43:11,213 --> 00:43:14,875
Oh, do you see the full moon?
540
00:43:16,695 --> 00:43:17,695
Yeah.
541
00:43:21,021 --> 00:43:25,563
By the full moon, Abahachi and I
often used to go swimming.
542
00:43:26,188 --> 00:43:30,347
We hid each others clothes
and made little tracks.
543
00:43:30,854 --> 00:43:33,057
He was always so sensitive.
544
00:43:33,082 --> 00:43:37,630
He always consoled me
when my Little Beaver hurt me.
545
00:43:39,896 --> 00:43:43,386
How's your little beaver, now?
546
00:43:43,981 --> 00:43:47,477
He became Big Beaver.
Chief of the Kiowa.
547
00:43:48,035 --> 00:43:50,108
- Ah, I see!
- Yeah.
548
00:43:51,314 --> 00:43:53,283
- Uschi?
- Yeah?
549
00:43:54,253 --> 00:43:57,595
Can you reach my left back pocket?
550
00:43:58,181 --> 00:44:00,791
- Do you have a?...
- Yeah!
551
00:44:11,998 --> 00:44:14,640
♪ [ MOON RIVER ]
552
00:44:21,885 --> 00:44:23,943
Do you hear that?
553
00:44:24,552 --> 00:44:26,044
Yeah.
554
00:44:27,182 --> 00:44:29,318
They're playing our song.
555
00:44:30,009 --> 00:44:31,598
Yeah.
556
00:44:55,394 --> 00:44:59,361
Where the heck is Ranger?
He's usually so punctual.
557
00:44:59,552 --> 00:45:01,579
Hope he didn't get measels.
558
00:45:01,667 --> 00:45:03,382
-Look! - What? - There!
559
00:45:03,439 --> 00:45:05,865
Another 'star-shooting'.
560
00:45:06,763 --> 00:45:09,089
Now you can make a wish.
561
00:45:09,204 --> 00:45:11,888
I'd like so much to be
an Indian.
562
00:45:12,161 --> 00:45:14,005
A real 'Skinred'.
563
00:45:14,229 --> 00:45:16,404
M-hm?... Why?
564
00:45:17,115 --> 00:45:19,857
I mean, Greek's not so bad.
565
00:45:19,927 --> 00:45:22,099
Not bad, but you know,
566
00:45:22,154 --> 00:45:25,677
ever since I was a little Dimitri
that's been my big dream.
567
00:45:25,747 --> 00:45:30,223
Ever since your grandpa Gray Star
fished me out of the Mississippi River.
568
00:45:30,482 --> 00:45:33,910
Me, in that little basket, about
to go over the big 'fall-water'.
569
00:45:33,935 --> 00:45:35,457
Whew, that was close!
570
00:45:35,513 --> 00:45:37,989
I was a very happy 'child foster'.
571
00:45:39,053 --> 00:45:44,060
Dimitri, you were not a foster child,
you were already 16 and past puberty!
572
00:45:44,185 --> 00:45:48,429
I strongly believe,
one day I'll be an Indian.
573
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:53,224
No more riding a mule
but a proper horse.
574
00:45:58,552 --> 00:46:02,083
You need a nutcracker?... No?
575
00:46:03,777 --> 00:46:07,072
Get up, men! Get up!
Up, up, up!
576
00:46:07,693 --> 00:46:09,627
Get up!
577
00:46:13,072 --> 00:46:17,086
- Jeffrey cut the cheese!
- Oh, really!
578
00:46:20,577 --> 00:46:23,336
Jeffrey let another one go!
579
00:46:23,485 --> 00:46:24,958
Morning, men!
580
00:46:25,188 --> 00:46:28,857
Everybody go to the bathroom,
and then we ride out!
581
00:46:48,641 --> 00:46:51,990
Woah, ho! Ho!
582
00:47:05,911 --> 00:47:07,872
Hey!
583
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,943
And... carry on!
584
00:47:25,198 --> 00:47:28,239
Jim, John, come with me.
585
00:47:33,438 --> 00:47:35,844
Damnit, Abahachi escaped!
586
00:47:36,236 --> 00:47:37,932
Respect.
587
00:47:38,084 --> 00:47:40,522
(Oho, ahaha ha...)
588
00:47:45,911 --> 00:47:47,963
No outside shoes in here.
589
00:47:48,052 --> 00:47:50,333
Yeah! Got another one!
590
00:47:50,396 --> 00:47:52,727
Hombre is so good
at pearl-diving!
591
00:47:53,064 --> 00:47:56,378
- Get out!
- Turn around.
592
00:48:07,857 --> 00:48:09,840
Oops! Oh!
593
00:48:11,381 --> 00:48:14,513
Jeffrey let one go!
594
00:48:15,958 --> 00:48:18,611
Damned lock is jammed.
595
00:48:21,409 --> 00:48:22,893
- Hands up.
- Yeah!
596
00:48:22,918 --> 00:48:25,190
- Drop your weapon.
- Yeah! - Yeah!
597
00:48:34,812 --> 00:48:36,753
Feather.
598
00:48:38,698 --> 00:48:43,272
This is the shoe
599
00:48:43,323 --> 00:48:46,688
of Ma-ni-tou.
600
00:48:47,504 --> 00:48:49,418
The shoe of Manitou?
601
00:48:49,473 --> 00:48:51,227
Oh, no.
602
00:48:52,236 --> 00:48:53,548
That was easy.
603
00:48:53,642 --> 00:48:56,720
Hombre, you coming?
We gotta go.
604
00:49:02,285 --> 00:49:03,799
Ranger!
605
00:49:03,865 --> 00:49:08,863
It's always darkest before the dawn.
606
00:49:09,533 --> 00:49:13,112
'I' before 'e' except after 'c'.
607
00:49:13,741 --> 00:49:15,815
Hombre.
608
00:49:17,725 --> 00:49:20,647
Do you have any last requests?
609
00:49:21,205 --> 00:49:24,693
Yeah, the jingle from the
Super Perforator commercial.
610
00:49:25,161 --> 00:49:29,154
♪ You don't have to wait for later
Here's a new eliminator
611
00:49:29,310 --> 00:49:33,372
♪ Ask your local weapon trader
For the Super Perforator
612
00:49:33,490 --> 00:49:37,207
♪ Stressed? Just cool it.
Here's a special bullet
613
00:49:37,300 --> 00:49:40,919
♪ Put it in the magazine
Boom! Bang, into your bean
614
00:49:41,029 --> 00:49:45,169
♪ You can call the operator
For the Super Perforator
615
00:49:45,295 --> 00:49:48,484
♪ Killing is our habit
Make you wriggle like a rabbit
616
00:49:48,544 --> 00:49:52,388
♪ But before you die my dear
Have a final glass of beer
617
00:49:52,498 --> 00:49:56,849
♪ And before the break of dawn
We'll have you back where you belong
618
00:49:56,951 --> 00:49:58,912
♪ Sprinkled in the lawn
619
00:50:05,991 --> 00:50:09,741
♪ Bully, bang bang. Bang, boom boom
Meet your doom. Call us soon
620
00:50:09,879 --> 00:50:13,122
♪ The local weapon trader
With your Super Perforator
621
00:50:13,223 --> 00:50:14,535
CHEERS!
622
00:50:20,797 --> 00:50:22,338
Yaahoo!
623
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:26,212
Quick, men, move out!
624
00:50:35,279 --> 00:50:37,130
There's your light of dawn.
625
00:50:37,161 --> 00:50:39,825
They torched my house
without asking!.
626
00:50:39,884 --> 00:50:42,461
Abahachi, please give me
the knife.
627
00:50:43,599 --> 00:50:45,333
- Shit!
- What?
628
00:50:45,841 --> 00:50:48,138
I forgot it,
whittling in Thunder valley.
629
00:50:48,242 --> 00:50:50,435
Why must Indians always whittle?
630
00:50:50,497 --> 00:50:53,589
- Got something against my hobby?
- Nothing against your hobby.
631
00:50:53,614 --> 00:50:55,866
This is about the knife,
they cost money!
632
00:50:55,891 --> 00:50:58,520
You should learn to look
after for your stuff.
633
00:50:58,577 --> 00:51:00,367
Your sloppiness is
driving me mad!
634
00:51:00,429 --> 00:51:02,584
YOU'RE slowly driving
me mad, Ranger!
635
00:51:02,623 --> 00:51:03,763
Aha! Out with it!
636
00:51:03,788 --> 00:51:05,812
Always the same pick up line:
637
00:51:05,837 --> 00:51:09,115
Howdy Ma'am, wanna meet my
'beaver pelter'?
638
00:51:09,144 --> 00:51:13,279
Says the guy who played with puppets
and can't grow a beard!
639
00:51:13,337 --> 00:51:15,978
Forget the beard,
character is what matters!
640
00:51:16,064 --> 00:51:19,351
A fine character: hiding women's
clothes at night!
641
00:51:19,413 --> 00:51:22,075
Yeah, I hide their clothes,
I admit it.
642
00:51:22,122 --> 00:51:24,425
Who'd ever go skinny dipping
with you?
643
00:51:24,466 --> 00:51:26,521
Uschi would go skinny dipping
with me any time!
644
00:51:26,546 --> 00:51:27,676
Don't make me laugh!
645
00:51:27,721 --> 00:51:29,935
Stop it, before someone
ends up crying!
646
00:51:29,966 --> 00:51:31,325
- Oh, shut up!
- Oh, shut up!
647
00:51:31,463 --> 00:51:32,912
Hellas!
648
00:51:33,285 --> 00:51:34,986
Dimitri, there you are!
649
00:51:39,997 --> 00:51:41,458
Woah!
650
00:51:41,891 --> 00:51:44,318
Wanna ride with me?
I got plenty of room.
651
00:51:44,365 --> 00:51:46,888
No, I'm not getting in that.
652
00:51:47,341 --> 00:51:49,490
Giddyup, Jacqueline!
653
00:51:50,555 --> 00:51:52,795
Now, slow down.
Careful, careful!
654
00:51:52,865 --> 00:51:56,224
Not so fast, Jaqueline,
or you'll throw up again.
655
00:51:58,838 --> 00:52:01,570
The shoe of Manitou!
656
00:52:24,349 --> 00:52:27,396
Shortly I'll be the
richest man in the Wild West.
657
00:52:27,456 --> 00:52:29,778
I could take you for my wife.
658
00:52:29,827 --> 00:52:32,716
What would your wife
want with me?
659
00:52:35,758 --> 00:52:38,969
Nice and easy, Jacqueline,
or you'll puke again, OK!
660
00:52:39,005 --> 00:52:42,677
At this 'pace-snail'
we'll never get there.
661
00:52:42,779 --> 00:52:44,107
Nice and easy!
662
00:52:51,466 --> 00:52:54,461
Yaaa! Go, Jacqueline!
663
00:52:57,868 --> 00:53:00,461
Yeah, good, Jacqueline.
664
00:53:00,638 --> 00:53:04,982
I told them a thousand times
you have a sensitive stomach.
665
00:53:05,310 --> 00:53:07,419
Let it all out, Jaqueline.
666
00:53:07,670 --> 00:53:09,604
Not through the nose.
667
00:53:11,642 --> 00:53:13,791
Honey, I'll be right back.
668
00:53:16,141 --> 00:53:19,256
That's what comes from speeding!
669
00:53:20,178 --> 00:53:21,701
Hombre.
670
00:53:24,416 --> 00:53:27,673
Oh, you should empty
the ashtray.
671
00:53:30,946 --> 00:53:34,237
Fine, you stay here and think
about what you've done.
672
00:53:34,265 --> 00:53:37,927
Jim, John, come with me.
The rest stay here.
673
00:53:38,763 --> 00:53:40,474
Jeffrey cut the cheese!
674
00:53:41,498 --> 00:53:44,798
And take good care of
my future bride.
675
00:53:49,938 --> 00:53:51,017
Oh!
676
00:53:52,244 --> 00:53:54,927
And don't give her
any more cherries.
677
00:53:56,091 --> 00:53:57,878
Hey, Santa!
678
00:54:04,392 --> 00:54:07,142
- Bring us back something?
- Yeah, something exciting.
679
00:54:07,236 --> 00:54:10,999
- Something to play with.
- And chocolate! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah!
680
00:54:13,257 --> 00:54:15,463
An apple is better.
681
00:54:24,108 --> 00:54:27,325
No old Indian
guarding the treasure?
682
00:54:27,396 --> 00:54:29,232
That's odd...
683
00:54:33,543 --> 00:54:36,455
- Hello?...
- (Hello? Hello?)
684
00:54:40,756 --> 00:54:43,450
- ♪...
- (♪, ♪)
685
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:50,626
Cuckoo.
686
00:54:50,844 --> 00:54:53,306
- Cuckoo.
- Cuckoo.
687
00:54:53,763 --> 00:54:55,060
Ok, get out, now.
688
00:54:55,113 --> 00:54:57,598
- Ok, get out, now.
- Ok, get out, now.
689
00:55:02,802 --> 00:55:06,854
Can I have a bite of yours?
Mine is mealy.
690
00:55:09,515 --> 00:55:11,792
Hellas, they are down there!
691
00:55:12,131 --> 00:55:14,132
Can anyone see Uschi?
692
00:55:14,220 --> 00:55:16,520
No. I think we'll need a plan.
693
00:55:16,624 --> 00:55:18,924
Want me to distract them again?
694
00:55:19,016 --> 00:55:22,135
Uh... pff... mh-mh!
695
00:55:22,446 --> 00:55:25,271
Ok, I'll go change again.
696
00:55:27,373 --> 00:55:28,599
ALARM!
697
00:55:28,652 --> 00:55:30,759
Hellas, everybody!
698
00:55:32,595 --> 00:55:34,142
Who's that, then?
699
00:55:34,224 --> 00:55:35,717
No idea.
700
00:55:35,900 --> 00:55:37,927
What are you looking for?
701
00:55:38,060 --> 00:55:41,553
I am Dimitri Stoubakis.
Bandit exchange from Greece.
702
00:55:41,609 --> 00:55:44,708
I'm supposed to report to a Mr...
'Maria Santa'?
703
00:55:48,054 --> 00:55:50,524
It's a dead end, boss.
704
00:55:51,096 --> 00:55:53,415
They tricked us.
705
00:55:55,576 --> 00:55:58,696
John, when do we
normally have lunch?
706
00:55:58,791 --> 00:56:00,912
Always around 12.
707
00:56:10,431 --> 00:56:13,568
Jeffrey let go another one!
708
00:56:39,138 --> 00:56:40,755
Shh!
709
00:56:41,147 --> 00:56:44,318
- Ranger!
- Uschi!
710
00:56:55,115 --> 00:56:57,303
How'd you find me?
711
00:56:57,367 --> 00:57:00,365
For a first time... incredible!
712
00:57:04,255 --> 00:57:06,282
Stop it, or I won't go on!
713
00:57:06,335 --> 00:57:08,850
- Weenietouch! - Hombre!
- I thought you were...
714
00:57:08,905 --> 00:57:12,911
Nah, I'm not so easy to get rid of.
You on our side, now?
715
00:57:50,659 --> 00:57:53,776
Ok, kids. Lunch is ready, now.
716
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:56,543
Air.
717
00:57:57,291 --> 00:57:59,333
Clean air!
718
00:58:00,857 --> 00:58:04,201
- THE AIR IS SO CLEAR!
- Yeah, yeah?
719
00:58:04,316 --> 00:58:08,235
So, let's introduce ourselves.
I'm Dimitri Stoubakis.
720
00:58:08,260 --> 00:58:12,097
30 years old. My sign is virgo
and in my 'time-free'
721
00:58:12,122 --> 00:58:15,817
I make handcrafted birds
with my 'saw-hand'.
722
00:58:15,982 --> 00:58:17,818
Do you have any hobbies?
723
00:58:20,516 --> 00:58:25,619
- Why can't we go in with you?
- Good point! What guarantee do we have
724
00:58:25,728 --> 00:58:28,369
that you won't run off with
the treasure?
725
00:58:31,718 --> 00:58:33,616
What was that?
726
00:58:34,079 --> 00:58:36,726
That's the sound
of Santa Maria's Colt.
727
00:58:41,511 --> 00:58:42,987
All right...
728
00:58:43,246 --> 00:58:45,558
Cover me, I'm going in.
729
00:58:46,183 --> 00:58:48,283
- My brother!
- Yeah?
730
00:58:48,892 --> 00:58:51,189
- Take care.
- Ok.
731
00:58:52,204 --> 00:58:54,221
Take cover.
732
00:58:57,259 --> 00:59:00,035
- Weenietouch.
- What is it?
733
00:59:00,114 --> 00:59:02,357
- Cover!
- Sorry what?
734
00:59:02,579 --> 00:59:03,810
Hide.
735
00:59:03,835 --> 00:59:05,863
Ok, I'll try.
736
00:59:08,284 --> 00:59:09,974
Aah!
737
00:59:11,145 --> 00:59:12,474
Hello?...
738
00:59:12,849 --> 00:59:15,617
Say, am I in a darkroom?
739
00:59:22,726 --> 00:59:25,044
Get lost, you stupid cow!!
740
00:59:25,902 --> 00:59:29,972
What a pigsty!
Must be rednecks living here.
741
00:59:30,287 --> 00:59:33,045
Aaaaah!
742
00:59:33,469 --> 00:59:37,168
Ah, thank god the light went out.
743
01:00:11,221 --> 01:00:13,426
Stop that!
744
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:43,195
Wohh!
745
01:00:48,094 --> 01:00:49,859
Shit!
746
01:01:01,740 --> 01:01:03,154
- Aah!
- Aah!
747
01:01:03,318 --> 01:01:06,933
Are you crazy?
Don't scare me like that!
748
01:01:07,003 --> 01:01:08,308
Shh!
749
01:01:08,503 --> 01:01:10,589
Say, what do you have there?
750
01:01:10,637 --> 01:01:14,005
Nothing. What are you doing here?
You should take cover.
751
01:01:14,030 --> 01:01:16,122
- You always take so long...
- What?
752
01:01:16,147 --> 01:01:17,903
Yeah, you always take forever.
753
01:01:17,950 --> 01:01:19,825
You dawdle. You're a dawdler.
754
01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:21,512
U-huh, I'm a dawdler?!
755
01:01:21,593 --> 01:01:24,232
- Ranger!
- He is. Everybody says, so.
756
01:01:24,328 --> 01:01:27,482
Hear that? He's provoking me.
For years, now!
757
01:01:27,580 --> 01:01:30,562
I don't have to take this
from a - Huh? - a - Huh?
758
01:01:30,625 --> 01:01:33,555
- A second rate harmonica player!
- Ohh!
759
01:01:33,667 --> 01:01:35,164
Get a hair cut!
760
01:01:35,203 --> 01:01:36,578
You got some nerve!
761
01:01:36,603 --> 01:01:39,172
Why not write down what you
don't like about each other?
762
01:01:39,210 --> 01:01:41,232
It's useless,
he can't even write.
763
01:01:41,281 --> 01:01:42,857
None of our gang can, either.
764
01:01:42,890 --> 01:01:44,810
I don't need to write.
I can read tracks!
765
01:01:44,849 --> 01:01:46,222
Great, that's a start!
766
01:01:46,247 --> 01:01:48,456
For years it's been
his only argument:
767
01:01:48,481 --> 01:01:49,687
"I can read tracks"
768
01:01:49,726 --> 01:01:51,654
What a good tracker, you are!
769
01:01:51,693 --> 01:01:55,041
I won't take this any more.
You call yourself a blood brother?!
770
01:01:55,066 --> 01:01:57,736
I said, to go slow
from the beginning
771
01:01:57,822 --> 01:01:59,293
I needed more time.
772
01:01:59,318 --> 01:02:03,087
But HE wanted blood-brotherhood
within 2 weeks!
773
01:02:03,112 --> 01:02:06,922
Yeah, well if that's how he
felt at the time, then OK.
774
01:02:06,969 --> 01:02:09,450
My god, you do stupid things,
when you're young!
775
01:02:09,497 --> 01:02:12,197
Stupid?!... Stupid?! I'm going crazy!
776
01:02:12,271 --> 01:02:14,880
Uschi, did I hear him say, "stupid"?
777
01:02:14,958 --> 01:02:16,505
I wasn't paying attention...
778
01:02:16,544 --> 01:02:18,122
Yes, I think he said "stupid".
779
01:02:18,169 --> 01:02:20,380
Blood-brotherhood is stupid, hm?
780
01:02:20,599 --> 01:02:22,174
Fine! Let's end it.
781
01:02:22,199 --> 01:02:23,927
- I quit!
- I QUIT!
- Ah, no!
782
01:02:23,966 --> 01:02:24,978
I'm over it!
783
01:02:25,013 --> 01:02:26,291
- I don't care.
- Yeah me too.
784
01:02:26,316 --> 01:02:28,060
- I don't need you.
- Good.
785
01:02:28,085 --> 01:02:31,060
If that's how it is,
I'll take my toothbrush back.
786
01:02:31,085 --> 01:02:35,910
Be my guest! As I recall
you have my peace pipe
787
01:02:36,944 --> 01:02:38,132
Here.
788
01:02:40,086 --> 01:02:42,991
Uschi, c'mon, we don't need no Ranger!
789
01:02:43,257 --> 01:02:46,111
- Abahachi, I...
- Yeah, what is it?
790
01:02:47,181 --> 01:02:49,079
I can't go with you.
791
01:02:49,993 --> 01:02:51,790
What, why?
792
01:02:52,431 --> 01:02:54,864
Ranger and I, we...
793
01:02:57,549 --> 01:03:02,088
That's exactly why we never
allowed girls in our gang.
794
01:03:03,194 --> 01:03:04,633
I'm sorry.
795
01:03:06,970 --> 01:03:09,157
Yeah, but...
796
01:03:10,397 --> 01:03:12,180
Full moon?...
797
01:03:13,141 --> 01:03:15,656
Swimming, hiding clothes?...
798
01:03:17,325 --> 01:03:21,646
You always told me:
Abahachi, when we get big we'll...
799
01:03:23,074 --> 01:03:26,658
But, 1.69 m isn't very big.
(5' 5")
800
01:03:29,638 --> 01:03:31,586
I see.
801
01:03:33,005 --> 01:03:36,144
So, it's the two of you, now.
802
01:03:40,235 --> 01:03:43,351
Well, then I don't want to...
Well...
803
01:03:45,233 --> 01:03:47,720
I wish you...
804
01:03:48,367 --> 01:03:50,779
Then, I'll go in there alone.
805
01:03:50,950 --> 01:03:53,370
I actually prefer it that way.
806
01:03:53,536 --> 01:03:56,114
So, how can I get in?
807
01:03:56,465 --> 01:03:58,941
Time to read some tracks.
808
01:03:58,996 --> 01:04:01,179
Aha!
809
01:04:35,937 --> 01:04:38,849
I got one left.
810
01:04:44,810 --> 01:04:47,216
Abahachi!
811
01:04:53,500 --> 01:04:56,091
It was self-defense.
812
01:05:05,609 --> 01:05:11,812
You duded-up, snotty little weiner!
Think you can do anything?
813
01:05:11,860 --> 01:05:14,916
Hombre, not in that tone.
814
01:05:15,130 --> 01:05:18,254
I've seen enough of this.
815
01:05:18,318 --> 01:05:22,498
As of today,
the wind's changed, pal!
816
01:05:23,837 --> 01:05:26,953
All right, I'll put it back.
817
01:07:35,103 --> 01:07:37,268
My brother.
818
01:07:38,347 --> 01:07:40,464
My brother?
819
01:07:40,568 --> 01:07:42,642
You're alive?
820
01:07:49,482 --> 01:07:52,722
His gingerbread candy heart
saved his life.
821
01:07:52,747 --> 01:07:54,622
- Yeah, I'm alive.
- He's alive?
822
01:07:54,677 --> 01:07:56,388
Yeah!
823
01:08:01,644 --> 01:08:05,261
♪ I'm so glad you are alive
824
01:08:05,584 --> 01:08:08,937
♪ You old son of a bow,
just gimme five
825
01:08:09,087 --> 01:08:12,106
♪ We are saved!
My heart is easy now
826
01:08:12,259 --> 01:08:16,114
♪ All I want to say is, WOW!
827
01:08:16,216 --> 01:08:19,794
♪ Now come on and
listen to my words
828
01:08:20,047 --> 01:08:23,270
♪ Always put a candy heart
under your shirt
829
01:08:24,288 --> 01:08:27,732
♪ It will save you and
Make your day too,
830
01:08:27,810 --> 01:08:30,545
♪ 'cause it's a Leb-ku-chenherz!
831
01:08:31,184 --> 01:08:34,786
♪ Holding hands and sing,
Dancing to that swing.
832
01:08:34,927 --> 01:08:38,738
♪ Everybody have somebody!
833
01:09:01,451 --> 01:09:04,473
♪ Three in one - above us Manitou
834
01:09:05,145 --> 01:09:08,542
♪ Oh we go and we get-a
the money, too!
835
01:09:09,397 --> 01:09:12,765
♪ And a Lebkuchen,
Just a Lebkuchen
836
01:09:12,947 --> 01:09:16,560
♪ With our Lebkuchen
With our Lebkuchen!
837
01:09:16,763 --> 01:09:19,584
♪ With our Lebkuchen-Herz.
838
01:09:19,716 --> 01:09:21,397
♪ Yes!
839
01:09:26,810 --> 01:09:29,599
Hombre, don't make
trouble for yourself!
840
01:09:29,683 --> 01:09:31,974
We're all a little overworked.
841
01:09:32,052 --> 01:09:34,599
You were always so good to me.
842
01:09:34,656 --> 01:09:38,737
You often saved my life,
helped me with my divorces.
843
01:09:38,793 --> 01:09:41,901
You've done everything
to facilitate
844
01:09:41,926 --> 01:09:44,826
a worry-free, comfortable,
pleasant life for me.
845
01:09:45,273 --> 01:09:47,707
Do you want to risk all that?
846
01:09:47,816 --> 01:09:49,490
Give me the necklace.
847
01:09:49,609 --> 01:09:51,173
Oh, is that it?
848
01:09:51,442 --> 01:09:54,876
Why didn't you say so,
if that's all?
849
01:09:56,938 --> 01:09:59,452
Woah!
Is this crazy, or what?
850
01:09:59,492 --> 01:10:02,101
There you are!
My, what I went through!
851
01:10:02,156 --> 01:10:03,725
Sshh!
852
01:10:04,047 --> 01:10:05,450
Look at that!
853
01:10:05,538 --> 01:10:08,185
That's not where it should be.
854
01:10:10,342 --> 01:10:11,748
Aaaahh!
855
01:10:12,182 --> 01:10:14,256
Ah, sorry!
856
01:10:18,667 --> 01:10:21,059
That's a pretty sight.
857
01:10:21,075 --> 01:10:24,508
Thank god your
evildoing days are over!
858
01:10:24,511 --> 01:10:26,432
I'll never get that out.
859
01:10:26,478 --> 01:10:29,432
Oh, it's an absolute dream!
860
01:10:30,025 --> 01:10:33,380
-This is our treasure.
- May I slip it on?
861
01:10:33,661 --> 01:10:34,872
- M-hm.
- M-hm.
862
01:10:36,191 --> 01:10:39,083
Mesdames et Messieurs... voila!
863
01:10:40,517 --> 01:10:42,614
- Aaahh!
- Aaahh!
864
01:10:48,154 --> 01:10:50,029
Hey, where are you going?
865
01:10:50,088 --> 01:10:52,380
Hurry! ... Faster!
866
01:10:52,888 --> 01:10:53,980
C'mon!
867
01:10:55,942 --> 01:10:58,380
Have you ever driven this thing?
868
01:10:58,431 --> 01:11:01,129
Yeah, but a different model.
869
01:11:07,833 --> 01:11:09,450
Oh, no!
870
01:11:32,053 --> 01:11:34,394
Heads down!
871
01:11:38,722 --> 01:11:41,837
How much farther?
I can't hold on for long!
872
01:11:42,825 --> 01:11:44,103
Woah!
873
01:11:51,975 --> 01:11:53,515
Weenietouch!
874
01:11:58,819 --> 01:12:00,528
Faster!
875
01:12:05,987 --> 01:12:07,705
What is that?
876
01:12:09,377 --> 01:12:12,164
I've never heard anything like that.
877
01:12:15,543 --> 01:12:17,242
It's beautiful!
878
01:12:25,305 --> 01:12:28,840
Hellas!
You came to save me, right?
879
01:12:29,615 --> 01:12:32,357
♪ Welka kona kona-te
880
01:12:32,646 --> 01:12:36,857
♪ - Kana kata kaga-te
- Kana kata kaga-te
881
01:12:37,084 --> 01:12:38,789
Indians!
882
01:12:52,449 --> 01:12:56,579
A classic 'down-show'
if I'm not mistaken.
883
01:13:11,406 --> 01:13:14,221
C'mon, let's git!
884
01:13:21,974 --> 01:13:24,049
Abahachi!
885
01:13:32,229 --> 01:13:33,685
Hi y'all!
886
01:13:33,759 --> 01:13:36,431
This time Abahachi will not escape!
887
01:13:36,536 --> 01:13:38,511
No need for that.
888
01:13:38,536 --> 01:13:41,452
Weenietouch, come here please?
889
01:13:44,442 --> 01:13:46,373
By Manitou!
890
01:13:47,005 --> 01:13:50,310
-Abahachi times two?
- Hello!
891
01:13:50,388 --> 01:13:52,787
Weenietouch, give him the treasure.
892
01:13:52,874 --> 01:13:55,632
- My god!
- What?
893
01:13:55,782 --> 01:13:58,232
- Gone!
- Aw, don't tell me...
894
01:13:58,302 --> 01:13:59,871
That's so predictable!
895
01:13:59,975 --> 01:14:02,395
-What do you mean, gone?
- Gone!
896
01:14:02,504 --> 01:14:05,575
Abahachi lies. Kill him!
897
01:14:05,660 --> 01:14:07,495
Hey, where'd you get that?
898
01:14:07,543 --> 01:14:10,025
Cunning Lizard, here is your gold.
899
01:14:10,075 --> 01:14:11,823
Santa Maria stole it.
900
01:14:11,917 --> 01:14:16,433
He is also your son's murderer.
I saw it with my own eyes.
901
01:14:18,038 --> 01:14:20,605
But where is Santa Maria?
902
01:14:27,770 --> 01:14:32,091
All right, Abahachi did not murder
my son, Fake Hare.
903
01:14:32,116 --> 01:14:35,028
But what about Authentic Hare?
904
01:14:35,942 --> 01:14:40,020
- That's a tough one.
- I think I have something for you!
905
01:14:51,551 --> 01:14:54,778
Ah, you look enchanting, darling!
906
01:14:54,801 --> 01:14:56,778
- Thank you.
- Yeah, you too.
907
01:14:56,951 --> 01:15:00,341
But try horizontal stripes.
They accentuate the figure.
908
01:15:00,366 --> 01:15:03,006
I'll go buy drinks at the Prosecco store.
909
01:15:03,016 --> 01:15:06,006
Back in a jiff. Ok, kids, now off with...
910
01:15:09,950 --> 01:15:12,279
- Uschi.
- Yeah?
911
01:15:12,505 --> 01:15:15,597
I think I know where I belong.
912
01:15:15,727 --> 01:15:17,346
Oh, Ranger!
913
01:15:17,417 --> 01:15:19,607
You know, I thought that...
914
01:15:19,684 --> 01:15:23,843
Yeah, I know, you and Abahachi
must move on.
915
01:15:23,899 --> 01:15:26,538
- What?
- This land needs you.
916
01:15:26,600 --> 01:15:28,372
Now, just a moment.
917
01:15:28,450 --> 01:15:31,435
I actually meant that
you and me...
918
01:15:31,497 --> 01:15:34,808
The two of us and especially
the kid...
919
01:15:34,876 --> 01:15:37,418
We're a family now...
920
01:15:37,576 --> 01:15:39,607
Family, shmamily!
921
01:15:39,661 --> 01:15:42,881
You mustn't avoid your
responsibilities.
922
01:15:43,201 --> 01:15:46,782
Out there,
your blood brother awaits!
923
01:15:47,452 --> 01:15:52,435
Fighting together for peace,
freedom, and justice!
924
01:15:53,078 --> 01:15:55,537
Founding national parks.
925
01:15:55,740 --> 01:15:58,905
And freeing Afro-american
immigrants,
926
01:15:58,996 --> 01:16:02,326
out there,
from the shackles of slavery!
927
01:16:02,995 --> 01:16:04,766
So that one fine day
928
01:16:04,912 --> 01:16:09,032
on the first page of some
history book, it will say:...
929
01:16:10,273 --> 01:16:14,102
This book belongs to Peter Miller,
Class, 2-C !
930
01:16:16,433 --> 01:16:20,206
OK, I'll do all that, but,
can you help me out of this?
931
01:16:20,452 --> 01:16:23,901
So, Ranger, come on, plea...
932
01:16:24,771 --> 01:16:27,363
Abahachi, can you help me out here?
933
01:16:27,410 --> 01:16:29,786
No, that'll be the day!
934
01:16:41,954 --> 01:16:45,795
You saved my life and gave my
people a saloon.
935
01:16:45,927 --> 01:16:47,913
Dimitri, my brother.
936
01:16:47,998 --> 01:16:50,239
Abahachi, my brother.
937
01:16:56,114 --> 01:16:58,579
I'm an Indian!
938
01:17:01,466 --> 01:17:03,989
- Good evening.
- Evening. - Evening.
939
01:17:04,031 --> 01:17:08,575
What do you call a donkey with a PHD?
- Smart ass. - Smart ass.
940
01:17:08,692 --> 01:17:13,792
In 1879, Karl May publishes
his first Wild West novel.
941
01:17:14,042 --> 01:17:15,878
It's a bestseller!
942
01:17:15,956 --> 01:17:18,458
Later that year he returns to Germany
943
01:17:18,490 --> 01:17:22,328
and marries the daughter of a
theater director in Bad Segeberg.
944
01:17:22,372 --> 01:17:23,736
Gesundheit!
945
01:17:23,950 --> 01:17:29,080
A year later, Frederico Enrico Nico
Gonzalez Desperado del Torro-Hombre
946
01:17:29,127 --> 01:17:33,746
wins an industry prize for
inventing the BBQ ashtray.
947
01:17:34,139 --> 01:17:36,815
On Dec 24, 1879,
948
01:17:36,839 --> 01:17:40,115
Santa Maria's brother,
Santa Claus...
949
01:17:40,139 --> 01:17:42,315
begins distributibg gifts, in a attempt...
950
01:17:42,324 --> 01:17:45,325
to compensate his brother's victims.
951
01:17:45,373 --> 01:17:49,566
1882: Weenietouch founds the
fashion label "Think Pink".
952
01:17:49,665 --> 01:17:51,410
All done.
953
01:17:51,507 --> 01:17:54,293
Cunning Lizard is now Cunning Bunny!
954
01:17:56,207 --> 01:18:00,263
Oh, he can wear that...
with his figure!
955
01:18:00,387 --> 01:18:02,881
On the 4th of July, 1884,
in New York,
956
01:18:02,949 --> 01:18:06,748
an Indian chief wearing a
rabbit costume is arrested...
957
01:18:06,751 --> 01:18:09,715
and then, locked up in a reservation.
958
01:18:13,857 --> 01:18:18,895
Just 4 months later, Stan Laurel
is brought into the world.
959
01:18:20,624 --> 01:18:25,282
All that, Abahachi and
Ranger never knew.
960
01:18:30,747 --> 01:18:34,325
So, waddaya say?
Take a quick look at the Grand Canyon?
961
01:18:34,403 --> 01:18:38,597
Yeah, and we can found a national
park for Afro-american immigrants.
962
01:18:38,641 --> 01:18:40,279
What? For who?
963
01:18:40,362 --> 01:18:42,305
Say, don't you know anything?
964
01:18:42,415 --> 01:18:47,047
- I know, Old Shatterhand, for example.
- Everybody knows him.
965
01:18:47,292 --> 01:18:49,425
Oh, go ride somewhere else!
966
01:18:49,530 --> 01:18:51,666
You go ride somewhere else!
967
01:18:55,013 --> 01:18:58,459
♪Subtitles by♪ XQ2☻
968
01:18:58,758 --> 01:19:01,210
Uschi, come, we don't need no Ranger!
969
01:19:01,359 --> 01:19:03,388
- Abahachi...
- Yeah?
970
01:19:03,481 --> 01:19:05,591
I can't go with you.
971
01:19:05,871 --> 01:19:07,992
Why?
972
01:19:15,418 --> 01:19:19,946
You must be Ranger!
The man with the sodden...!
973
01:19:20,043 --> 01:19:22,116
Shit!
974
01:19:23,478 --> 01:19:26,594
I need to show you something.
975
01:19:28,168 --> 01:19:30,242
Later!
976
01:19:40,879 --> 01:19:42,603
Abahachi is a murderer!
977
01:19:42,746 --> 01:19:45,142
Now, hold on a moment.
Gross misundertanding!
978
01:19:45,232 --> 01:19:51,435
Yeah, real gross! Chief, no,
white palefaces... Shit.
979
01:20:06,509 --> 01:20:09,711
We got lucky with
the weather, huh?
980
01:20:12,327 --> 01:20:13,946
What are you doing?
981
01:20:14,035 --> 01:20:15,700
Well, what SHOULD I be doing?
982
01:20:15,761 --> 01:20:19,919
- Your plan is all wrong!
- You can kiss my ass!
983
01:20:24,092 --> 01:20:25,896
Kuen take?
984
01:20:26,053 --> 01:20:28,747
Aguata tunega, intu.
985
01:20:30,592 --> 01:20:32,076
Intu.
986
01:20:33,286 --> 01:20:35,411
- Intu kintu?
- Intu.
987
01:20:35,795 --> 01:20:37,568
Ptana glahh!
988
01:20:37,836 --> 01:20:42,388
It read: saloon, like new,
quiet transfer fee... quiet location...
989
01:20:42,466 --> 01:20:46,575
Again?... We had an appointment
with a realtor from Wyoming.
990
01:20:46,606 --> 01:20:50,518
I'd seen his ad in
the paper. It read:
991
01:20:50,644 --> 01:20:54,865
"Quiet saloon: like new, no transfer
fee, available immediately"
992
01:20:54,948 --> 01:20:56,966
It can't be! Cut!
993
01:21:11,297 --> 01:21:16,914
Hear that? A man
got a stone in his soft bits...
994
01:21:17,673 --> 01:21:22,875
But boss, that's John...
you sent him to bed.
995
01:21:23,422 --> 01:21:25,495
Oh, yeah!
996
01:21:26,354 --> 01:21:29,470
I cluck like a brooding hen...
997
01:21:31,169 --> 01:21:35,294
I used to own a beauty farm.
A nice cozy place.
998
01:21:36,481 --> 01:21:38,754
Would've done you some good too.
999
01:21:38,841 --> 01:21:42,798
And this is Uschi.
What a thoroughbred!
1000
01:21:51,507 --> 01:21:54,458
Ow! Are you crazy?
1001
01:22:07,257 --> 01:22:09,405
Last take!
1002
01:23:43,593 --> 01:23:45,966
Hah!.. My, oh my...
1003
01:23:46,523 --> 01:23:47,927
Oi, oi, oi...
1004
01:23:48,404 --> 01:23:51,036
See, Jacqueline,
that's what you get.
1005
01:23:51,106 --> 01:23:54,638
So much bother and then
they all just go home.
1006
01:23:54,779 --> 01:23:58,919
Hah!.. Looks like we're
stuck with all the cream cheese.
1007
01:23:58,974 --> 01:24:01,460
We can throw
another party tomorrow.
1008
01:24:01,485 --> 01:24:03,053
Too bad about the Prosecco.
1009
01:24:03,087 --> 01:24:07,397
People have no idea how hard to
come by Prosecco is, around here,
1010
01:24:07,461 --> 01:24:08,896
not to mention ice!
1011
01:24:08,974 --> 01:24:12,927
But if there's no firewater in the
house, then all hell breaks loose.
1012
01:24:12,962 --> 01:24:15,842
And they never clear the garbage.
Not that gang!
1013
01:24:16,115 --> 01:24:19,121
Just like the water wings I got
for Abahachi, once.
1014
01:24:19,189 --> 01:24:23,350
First he absolutely had to have them.
Two weeks later they ended up in a corner.
1015
01:24:23,671 --> 01:24:28,777
Say, have we taken the wrong path?
I think we need to go left.
1016
01:24:29,364 --> 01:24:32,228
No, Jacqueline, not so fast!
1017
01:24:36,695 --> 01:24:40,531
Slower, Jacqueline.
Otherwise you'll barf again!
73852
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