Original subtitles

- My God! - Is anything gone?

How can I look? I'm shaking.

I want to know if anything's gone. Calm down.

- We could've been killed. Oh, my God, the kandinsky! - The kandinsky?

It's gone! Oh, my God! Call the police!

There it is. The silver victorian inkwell.

- How can you think about things? - There's the inkwell.

We could have been murdered. Silver Jaguar. Why?

Slashed. Our throats slashed.

There's the degas. Go to bed at night happy and then murdered.

Would we have woken up? We're alive.

The dog, the dog.

Oh, my God! What is it?

The wedding. We have to go to the wedding. No. I'm in no mood.

We have to. They're your friends.

I beg to differ. They're your fr... hello? What?

You don't call out "hello" in a sit...

I think we could tell if someone else was here. We didn't all night.

Don't pick that up! It's him!

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Hello.

¶¶

¶¶

Hello. Bride side or groom side?

Ah... uh, either side.

I can't even remember how we met them.

Why are we here? Let's not make a scene.

The most terrifying words in the world:

Now I lay me down to sleep.

Just think about that. I pray the lord my soul to keep.

But then the nightmare part: If I should die before I wake. I pray the lord my soul to take.

Are you two all right? We were nearly murdered.

Throats slashed. God, it was awful, awful, awful.

Did you say you could've been killed? Only hours ago.

But we're here. Wouldn't miss it.

- Happy the bride the sun shines on. - ¶¶

Chaos, control. Chaos, control. You like, you like?

I'll have a gin and tonic, please. Tell them.

We were having a wonderful evening last night.

A friend we hadn't seen in many years came by for dinner.

Geoffrey Miller from South Africa. Don't say that so portentously.

Geoffrey from South Africa. Don't be ga-ga.

Could I have a scotch, please? Oh, just something large.

Geoffrey was in New York briefly on business. He asked us to ask him for dinner.

Listen.

What's wrong?

It always amazes me when New York is so quiet.

With the kids away, we get used to the lower noise quotient.

Geoffrey is king midas rich, literally... gold mines.

Seventy thousand workers in one gold mine alone.

But he's always short of cash, because his government won't let its people...

its white people. Its white people take out any money.

It's like taking in a war baby. When he called, it was like a bolt from the blue.

I had a deal coming up and was short by... two million.

The figure is superfluous. I hate when you use the word "superfluous."

I mean, he needed two million, and we hadn't seen Geoffrey in a long time.

While Geoffrey might not have the price of a dinner, he might easily have $2 million.

It's the awful thing about having truly rich folk for friends.

Let's face it: The money does get in the way.

I'll take that one. Having a rich friend is like drowning,

and your friend makes lifeboats. Your friend gets touchy...

If you say one word: Lifeboat!

No, that is two words. We were afraid that our South African friend...

Might say we were only loving him because of his lifeboat. We weren't sucking up.

We like Geoffrey.

Oh, shouldn't we...

not on your life. It was hardly a lifeboat evening.

Portentous. But when Geoffrey called...

And asked us to take him for dinner, he made a sudden pattern...

In life's little tea leaves, because who wants to go to banks?

Why do you stay in South Africa?

One has to stay there to educate the black workers.

We'll know we've been successful when they kill us. Oh!

Planning the revolution that will destroy you. Putting your life on the line.

You don't think of it like that. I wish you would come and visit.

Visit you in your gorgeous house, planning visits to the townships,

demanding to see the poorest of the poor. Mm.

Oh, are you sure they're the worst off?

I mean, we've come all this way.

We don't want to see people just mildly victimized by apartheid.

We demand shock.

It doesn't seem right, sitting on the east side, talking about revolution.

Only small, murky cafes for pepe le moko here.

No, no. LA passionaria.

I will go to South Africa and build barricades and lean against them singing.

And the people will follow. Follow, follow, follow. What is that song?

It's our role in history, and we offer ourselves up to it.

That's your role in history. It's not our role.

The fantasticks. ¶ follow, follow follow, follow ¶¶ hmm.

A "role in history." To say that so easily.

To lead the people like lech walensa and the striking shipyard workers.

Gorbachev, urging on the striking coal miners.

That phrase, "striking coal miners."

I always picture these very striking coal miners modeling the fall fashions.

Why is there a statue of a husky? Another drink before we...

oh, where shall we? God, the restaurants in New York is like Florence in the 16th century:

Genius on every corner.

Well, there's good szechuan, hunan...

The sign painter screwed up the sign.

Instead of painting "the hunan wok," he painted "the human wok."

We sent it to the times.

They have a joke page of things around New York, and... they send a bottle of champagne.

We weren't auditioning, but all I could think was,

"$2 million, $2 million!"

It's like when people say, "don't think about elephants."

All you can think about is elephants! Two million dollars!

Whatever you do, don't think about elephants.

- Elephants? - Louisa is a dada manifesto.

About the cezanne.

Unless we're careful,

it'll be sold and never seen again.

Mid-period. Landscape of a dark-green forest.

In the far distance, you see the sunlight.

One of his first uses of a pale color being forced to carry the weight of the picture,

the experiment that would pay off in the apples.

A burst of color asked to carry so much.

Japanese don't like anything about it except it's a cezanne.

I'm so sorry to bother you, but I've been hurt and I've lost everything.

I didn't know where to go.

Your children... I'm a friend of your children.

He mentioned our kids' names. And the school they go to.

Harvard. You can say Harvard. I don't want to get into libel.

I was mugged... Out there in central park...

By the statue of that Alaskan husky.

I was standing there trying to figure out why there was a statue of a dog...

Who saved lives in the Yukon in the middle of central park.

When I was standing there, trying to puzzle it out... are you okay?

They took my money, my briefcase...

I said, "my thesis is in there." His shirt's bleeding.

His shirt isn't bleeding. He's bleeding.

Oh-ho. I'm sorry. I get this way around blood.

Oh, no! My God, not on the rug, please!

Eddie, get the doctor, will you? No, no.

I'll survive. No doctors, please.

All right, Eddie, we'll call you.

Thank you, Eddie.

Um...

I don't mind the money, but in this age of mechanical reproduction,

they managed to get the only copy of my thesis.

Ouisa, where's the first-aid book?

Uhh... huh.

Uh, the red cross advises press edges of wound firmly together.

Wash area with water. Yes, I'm doing that.

Aah! Hold on. Ouisa, I need gauze.

It's been wonderful seeing you. Oh, no. Stay, stay.

My time is so short. Before I leave America, I should... you darling old poop!

Have you seen the new book on cezanne?

Uh, no. May I use the phone? An absolute revelation.

- So, I ran down the hall, - Two million dollars, two million dollars.

Got the book on cezanne, got the gauze from the kitchen,

gave the cezanne to flan who wanted the gauze,

- and the gauze to Geoffrey who wanted the cezanne. - Ouisa.

Two million dollars, two million dollars.

It's a lovely book. I'll get him a clean shirt. Please stay.

And peace was restored.

- And then... - Your children said you were kind.

All the kids were sitting around the dorm one night,

dishing the shit out of their parents.

But your kids were silent. They said, "no, not our parents.

"Not flan and ouisa. Not the kittredges.

The kittredges are kind."

So after the muggers left, I looked up, saw these fifth Avenue apartments.

Mrs. Onassis lives there.

I know the babcocks live there. The auchinclosses live there.

But you live here.

- I came here. - Can you believe what the kids said?

Hmm. Well...

- he mentioned our kids' names. - We can mention our kids' names.

Our children are not gonna sue us for mentioning their names.

I love them. Talbot and Woody mean the world to me.

He lets you call him "Woody"? Nobody's called him Woody in years.

They described this apartment in detail.

Oh, this is a kandinsky! A double. One painted on either side.

May I see? Yes, of course.

Extraordinary. What makes it exceptional...

Is that kandinsky painted on either side of the canvas in two different styles:

One wild and vivid... The other somber and geometric.

My God!

- We flip it around for variety. - Chaos, control. Chaos, control

you like, you like?

It's wonderful.

Wassily kandinsky.

Born 1866, moscow. Blue rider exhibition, 1914.

He said, "it is clear that the choice of object,

"that is one of the elements in the harmony of form,

must be decided only by a corresponding vibration in the human soul."

Died 1944, France.

Everything is just the way they said it would be.

Did you "bitch" your parents?

As a matter of fact, no.

Your kids and I, we both liked... loved our parents.

Am I getting in the way here?

I'm sorry. I burst in here hysterical. Blood and everything.

No, please, sit down. Tell us about our children. Really, I didn't mean...

three. Two at Harvard and a girl at groton.

How is Harvard? Well, fine. It's just there.

Everyone's in a constant state of luxurious despair...

And constant discovery and paralysis.

We asked him where home was. "Out west," he said.

I've lived all over. My folks are divorced.

He's remarried. Actually, he's doing a movie.

- He's in the movies? - He's directing this one, but he does act.

Really? Uh, what's he directing?

Cats.

- Someone is directing a film of cats? - Don't be snooty.

You've seen it? T.S. Eliot?

- Yes, years ago. - It was a benefit for some school.

Or a disease? What? Surely they can't make the movie of cats.

Of course they can. -They're going to try. My father will be here auditioning.

Cats?

- He's going to use people. - What a courageous stand.

They thought of lots of ways to go: Animation... animation would be nice.

But he found a better way. He turned it down at first.

He told the producers the reasons why you couldn't make a movie of cats.

Going through the reasons why you couldn't make a movie of cats,

he suddenly saw how you could make a movie of cats.

Eureka in the bathtub! How wonderful!

May we ask who?

It was then we pulled up ever so slightly, pulled up closer.

And he told us. He named the greatest black star in movies. Sidney...

no names! We're trying to keep this abstract. Plus libel laws.

Sidney poitier. I don't care! You have to have truth.

He started as a lawyer and is terrified of libel. I'm not.

Sidney poitier,

the future Jackie Robinson of films,

was born the 24th of February, 1927, in Miami...

During a visit his parents made to Florida.

Legally? To sell tomatoes they had grown on their farm in the Bahamas.

He grew up on cat island, "so poor they didn't even own dirt," he has said.

Neglected by his family, my father would sit on the shore,

and as he's told me, "conjure up the kind of worlds that were on the other side...

And what I'd do in them."

He arrived in New York City from the Bahamas in the winter of 1943...

At the age of 15 and a half,

and lived in the pay toilet of the bus station...

Across from old Madison square garden at 50th and eighth Avenue.

He moved to the roof of the brill building, commonly known as tin pan alley.

Washed dishes at the turf restaurant for $4.11 a night.

He taught himself to read by reading the newspaper.

In the black newspaper, the theater page was opposite the "want ad" page.

Among his 42 films are:

No way out, 1950. Cry the beloved country, 1952.

Blackboard jungle, 1955. The defiant ones, 1958.

A raisin in the sun, 1961. Lilies of the field, 1963.

In the heat of the night, 1967. To sir with love, 1967.

Shoot to kill, 1988. And of course...

Guess who's coming to dinner.

He won the Oscar for lilies of the field...

And was twice named top male box-office star in the country.

My father made no films from 1977 to 1987...

But worked as director and author.

Dad said to me once,

"I still don't fully understand how all this came about...

In the sequence it came about."

Oh, dad's not in till tomorrow at the Sherry. I came down from Cambridge.

I thought I'd stay at some fleabag for adventure.

Orwell. Down and out.

I don't know New York. I know Rome and Paris and Los Angeles a lot better.

Well, we're going out to dinner. You'll come.

Out to dinner? Out to dinner.

The new Italian looked cheery. We've made reservations.

They wrap ravioli like saltwater Taffy.

Six on a plate for a few hundred dollars.

But why go out to dinner?

Because we have reservations. Oh, my God, what time is it?

We've lost the reservations, and there's not a damn thing in the house.

It's 16th-century Florence with genius on every block. Don't mock me.

You must have something. A frozen steak from the ice age.

Why spend $100 on a bowl of rice? Let me into the kitchen.

Cooking calms me. What I'd like to do is calm down.

- Pay back your kids... - Two. Two at Harvard. A daughter at groton.

Who've been wonderful to me. They've never mentioned you.

What are they supposed to say? "We've become friends with the son of Sidney poitier,

barrier breaker of the '50s and '60s."

Your father means a great deal in South Africa.

I'm glad of that. Dad and I went to Russia once to a film festival.

He was truly amazed how much his presence meant.

Oh, no. Tell us stories of movie stars tying up their children, being cruel.

I wish. You wish?

If I wanted to write a book about him, I really can't. No one would want to read it.

He's decent, and I admire him.

He's married to an actress. She was in... what's her name?

She's white. Am I right?

That is not my mother. That's his second wife. He met joanna making the lost man.

He left my mother, who had stuck by him in the lean years. I had just been born.

The lost man is the only film of my father's I can't bring myself to see.

I'm so sorry. We didn't mean...

no, no, no. We're all good friends now.

His kids from that marriage, and us, the old kids.

I'd love to get into that kitchen.

- What should we do? - It's Geoffrey's only night in New York.

- I vote stay in. - Good!

We moved into the kitchen.

- We watched him cook. - We watched him cook and chop.

- He did a sort of wizardry with leftovers. Onions. - Peppers.

- Tuna fish. Olives. - An old jar of sun-dried tomatoes.

- It was wonderful! - So, you're from...

Johannesburg.

My dad took me to a movie shot in South Africa.

The camera moves from this vile rioting in the streets...

To a villa where people picked at lunch on a terrace.

The only riot, the flowers and the birds.

Gorgeous plumage and petals. I didn't understand.

Dad said to me, "you meet these young blacks who are having a terrible time.

"They've had an inadequate education, yet in '76, the year of the soweto riots,

"they took on a tremendous political responsibility.

Just makes you wonder at the maturity that's in them."

It makes you realize that the "crummy childhood" theory that everything can be blamed...

In a freudian fashion on the fact that you've had a bad upbringing...

Just doesn't hold water.

May I?

What about being black in America?

My problem is, I've never felt American.

I grew up in Switzerland. Boarding school. Villa rosee.

There's a boarding school in Switzerland that will take you at age 18 months.

No, that's not me. I've never felt people like me for my connections.

Movie star kid problems? None of those.

I never knew I was black in that racist way till I was 16 and came back here.

Very, very protected.

White servants.

After the divorce, we moved to Switzerland, my mother, brother and I.

I don't feel American. I don't even feel black.

I suppose that's very lucky for me...

even though Freud says there's no such thing as luck, just what you make.

Does Freud say that? I think we're lucky having this dinner.

Flan, can we eat in the dining room?

Dining room.

Now, don't look at the sewing machine.

So, is everything okay?

Oh... the best. This is the best pasta I've ever tasted.

My father insisted we learn to cook.

He's from Jamaica, isn't he? There's a taste of, of...

the islands. Yes, yes.

Before he made it, he ran four restaurants in Harlem.

You, sir, have good buds. You see? Good buds.

I've never been complimented on my buds before. How astonishing.

What about you? No, the cook never eats.

What a good idea. That means there's more for us.

It is such a treat to eat at home. We go out every night.

I have to. Business.

Have you declared your major yet?

You are like all parents. "What's your major?"

Geoffrey, Harvard has all those great titles the students give the courses.

The holocaust and ethics. Krauts and doubts.

A toast to you.

Oh, no, no. Yep, yep.

To cats. Okay, yes.

To cats, to cats.

Oh! Isn't this the finest time? Ahh.

Hello!

Hello? Hello?

Seconds? Ah!

A blunt question: What's he like?

Let's not be star fuckers! I'm not a star fucker.

Well, you know my father.

He's perfect. So confident. In control.

I used to wonder how could I possibly live up to him.

Then one night when I was 16, we were at the cannes film festival, of all places.

I looked up and said to him,

"wow, dad. This is all so easy for you."

Why did I say that?

He sat me down and set me straight.

Actually, it was a relief for me to know that my father was no superman.

That he has problems.

And there are moments in his life when he's scared.

And, yes, sometimes life is whipping his tail,

and he doesn't feel he'll be able to get through the day.

That's refreshing news for me, because I have times like that myself.

I loved the kid so much, I wanted to reach out to him.

- Then we asked him what his thesis was on. - The one that was stolen.

Well... A substitute teacher out on long island...

Was dropped from his job for fighting with a student.

A few weeks later he returned to the classroom,

shot the student unsuccessfully,

held the class hostage then shot himself successfully.

This fact caught my eye. Last sentence, times:

"A neighbor described the teacher as a nice boy,

always reading catcher in the rye."

This nitwit, Chapman, who shot John Lennon said he did it...

Because he wanted to draw the attention of the world to catcher in the rye.

And the reading of this book would be his defense.

Young hinckley, the whiz kid who shot Reagan and his press secretary, said,

"if you want my defense, all you have to do is read catcher in the rye."

- I haven't read it in years. - Shh.

I borrowed a copy from a friend because I wanted to see what she underlined.

I read this book to find out why this touching, beautiful story,

published in July 1951,

had turned into this manifesto of hate.

I started reading. It's exactly as I remembered. Everybody's a phony.

Page two. "My brother's in Hollywood being a prostitute."

Page three. "What a phony slob his father was."

Page nine. "People never notice anything."

Then on page 22, my hair stood up. Uh...

Remember holden caulfield, the definitive, sensitive youth...

Wearing his red hunter's cap?

"A deer hunter's cap? Like hell it is.

"I sort of closed one eye like I was taking aim at it.

"This is a people-shooting hat.

I shoot people in this hat."

This book prepares people for bigger moments in their lives than I'd dreamed of.

Then on page 89: "I'd rather push a guy out the window...

"Or chop his head off with an ax than sock him in the jaw.

"I hate fist fights. What scares me most...

Is the other guy's face."

Mm, mm.

I finished the book. It's a touching story.

Comic, because the boy wants to do so much and can't do anything.

Hates all phoniness, and only lies to others.

Wants everyone to like him, but is only hateful and is completely self-involved.

In other words, a pretty accurate picture of a male adolescent.

And what alarms me about the book...

not the book so much as the aura about it is this:

The book is primarily about paralysis. The boy can't function.

At the end, before he can run away and start a new life,

it starts to rain and he folds.

There's nothing wrong in writing about emotional and intellectual paralysis.

It may, indeed, thanks to Chekhov and Beckett, be the great modern theme.

The extraordinary last lines of waiting for godot:

"Let's go." "Yes, let's go."

Stage directions: They do not move.

But the aura around this book of salinger's, which, perhaps, should be read...

By everyone but young men, is this:

It mirrors like a fun-house mirror...

And amplifies like a distorted speaker one of the great tragedies of our times:

The death of the imagination.

Because what else is paralysis?

The imagination has been so debased...

That imagination,

being imaginative, rather than being the linchpin of our existence,

now stands as a synonym for something outside ourselves,

like science fiction...

Or some new use for tangerine slices on raw pork chops.

What an imaginative summer recipe.

And star wars. So imaginative.

And Star Trek. So imaginative.

And lord of the rings. All those dwarves. So imaginative.

The imagination has moved out of the realm of being our link,

our most personal link with our inner lives,

and the world outside that world and this world we share.

What is schizophrenia but a horrifying state where what's in here...

Doesn't match up with what's out there?

Why has imagination become a synonym for style?

I believe imagination is the passport that we create...

To help take us into the real world.

I believe the imagination is merely another phrase...

For what is most uniquely us.

Jung says the greatest sin...

Is to be unconscious.

Our boy holden says, "what scares me most is the other guy's face.

It wouldn't be so bad if you could both be blindfolded."

Most of the time, the faces that we face are not the other guys'...

But our own faces.

And it is the worst kind of yellowness:

To be so scared of yourself...

That you put blindfolds on rather than deal with yourself.

To face ourselves, that's the hard thing.

The imagination.

That's God's gift...

To make the act of self-examination bearable.

- Indeed. - I hope your muggers read every word.

Oh, darling!

I'm going to buy a copy of catcher in the rye at the airport and read it.

- Cover to cover. - I'll test you.

- I should be going. - Where will you stay?

No, not some fleabag.

I get into the Sherry tomorrow morning. It's not so far off. I can walk around.

They won't mug me twice in one evening.

You'll stay here tonight.

No. I have to be at the hotel at 7:00 A.M. sharp,

we'll get you up. Or dad will have a fit.

Up at 6:15, which is any moment now. We've that wedding in Millbrook.

There's an alarm by the bed. Your feet may hang over the edge.

If it's any problem... the only problem is if you leave.

6:15? I'll tiptoe out.

And we want to be in cats. Oh, flan!

It's done. I'll fly back with my wife.

Pushy, both of you.

Actually, you're not. Dad said I could be in charge of the extras.

You'd just be extras, that's all I can promise.

- In cat suits? - No, you can be humans.

That's very important. It has to be in our contract. We are humans.

We haven't got any business done tonight.

Forget it. It was just an evening at home.

Whatever you do, don't think about elephants.

Did I intrude?

No, no. There are all ways of doing business.

Flan, walk me to the elevator.

We embraced, and flan and Geoffrey left.

Let me clean up. No, please leave it.

- Nobody comes in on Sunday. - Yvonne will be in on Tuesday.

You'll have every bug in christendom. Please, let me.

No. You watch. Gives me a thrill to be looked at.

Ouisa! He's in.

He's in? He's in for $2 million.

Two million? He says the cezanne is a great investment.

We should get $6 million for it and sell it to the Tokyo bunch for ten.

Oh, happy days!

- Break all those dishes! - Two million dollars?

Figure it out. He doesn't have the price of dinner,

but he can cough up $2 million.

And the Japanese will go to ten.

- Go to $10 million? - Two million, go to ten and we put up nothing.

Nothing? No!

Wildest dreams. Oh, God, Paul, money.

Take $50. It's just walking-around money. Oh, no, no.

I don't need it. What if your father's plane is late?

A billionth of a percent commission is $50.

I wouldn't want one of my kids stuck in the street without a nickel.

Your kids said you were an art dealer, but you don't have a gallery.

I don't understand. Come here.

Ooh!

Some people want to sell privately, not go through a gallery.

Divorce, taxes, publicity.

People come to me for a certain school of painting... Impressionists, renaissance.

But don't want museums to know where it is. Japanese.

I've got Japanese looking for a cezanne.

I have a syndicate that will buy the painting.

There's this great cezanne coming up for sale in a very messy divorce.

Wife doesn't want hubby to know she owns a cezanne.

I needed an extra $2 million.

Geoffrey called, we invited him for dinner.

Tonight was a very nervous, very casual, very big thing. Oh, boy, oh, boy!

I couldn't tell. All the better.

I'm glad I helped. Oh.

You were wonderful.

I'm so pleased I was wonderful.

All this and a pink shirt. Please keep it.

Look at the time.

We should say our good nights. Ah, Christ, regretfully.

- I want my father to meet you. - We'd love to. Bring him up for dinner.

Oh, could I?

You see how easy it is. Sure.

If Paul does the cooking.

Well, this is it.

Good night. Oh, good night.

Good night.

I want to get down on my knees...

And thank God.

Money!

Who said when artists dream they dream of money?

God, I must be such an artist.

Bravo! Bravo!

Bravo. Oh, God.

I don't want to lose our life here.

I don't want all the debt to pile up and crush us.

It won't. We're safe. For a while.

We almost lost it, ouis.

If I hadn't gotten this money, I would've lost the cezanne.

It would've gone. I had nowhere to find it.

Why don't you tell me how much these things mean?

You wait until the last minute.

I don't want to worry you.

Not worry me? I'm your partner.

There is a God! And his name is?

Geoffrey! No, Sidney!

I had the strangest dream. I dreamt of cats.

The movie.

Paul, I'm worried.

Is it right to make a movie of cats?

I'll tell you why there has to be a movie of cats, ouisa.

- May I call you ouisa? - Oh, yes.

I have no illusions about the merits of cats.

But the world has been too heavy with all the right-to-lifers.

Protect the lives of the unborn. Constitutional amendments, marches.

When does life begin? Or the converse: The end of life, the right to die.

Why is life at this point in the 20th century so focused upon...

The very beginning of life and the very end of life?

What about the 80 years we have to live between those two inexorable bookends?

You can get all that into cats?

We're going to try.

Thank you. Thank you. You shall.

This is what I dreamt.

I didn't dream so much as realize. I feel so close to the paintings.

I'm not just selling pieces of meat.

I remembered why I loved paintings, what had gotten me into this.

I thought... dreamt...

remembered...

how easy it is for a painter to lose a painting.

He paints and paints, works on a canvas for months,

and then one day he loses it.

Loses the structure, loses the sense of it. You lose the painting.

I remembered asking my kids' second grade teacher,

"why are all your students geniuses?

"Look at the first grade. Blotches of green and black.

"The third grade, camouflage.

"But your grade, the second grade,

"matisses, every one.

"You've made my child a Matisse.

"Let me study with you.

"Let me into the second grade.

What is your secret?"

I don't have any secret. I just know when to take their drawings away from them.

I dreamt of color.

I dreamt of our son's pink shirt.

I dreamt of pinks and yellows...

And the new van gogh the museum of modern art got.

And the "irises" that sold for $53.9 million...

And wishing a van gogh was mine.

I looked at my English hand-lasted shoes...

And thought of van gogh's tragic shoes...

And remembered me as I was:

A painter losing a painting.

So, this morning, I sat in the kitchen happily doing the crossword puzzle in ink.

Well, everybody does it in ink!

I never met one person who said they didn't do it in ink.

Anyway, I sat there happily doing the puzzle.

I looked at the time, and it was nearly 7:00.

Paul had to meet his father, and I didn't want him to be late.

Paul?

Paul? Paul, are you okay?

Paul?

What the fuck is going on here? Who the fuck are you?

- Ouisa, I... - Flan!

- Flan! - Ouisa?

What is it?

There's someone in the house. Someone in the...

Yes, hello?

Frank, I need help up here right away.

- Hey, how you doin'? - My God!

Ho ho ho!

Nice stuff. Fancy chair.

Oh, ouisa! No!

I can explain.

You went out and picked up this thing?

You brought this thing into our house?

- Get out of my house! - Stop! He might have a gun!

- A gun? - Yeah, I might have a gun! I might have a knife!

Aah! Halt!

Aah!

Get out! Get out! Take your clothes and go back to sleep in the gutter.

Take it easy with my pants.

Fuck you! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Please, don't tell my father. I haven't told him. Just go.

I got so lonely and afraid... give me back my $50.

I spent it. I couldn't be alone!

Get out! Get out!

Everything all right? Of course.

Just make sure they leave by the back door.

I'm so sorry.

My God!

Is anything gone? How can I look? I'm shaking.

I want to know if anything's gone. Calm down.

We could've been killed. Oh, my God! The kandinsky!

Kandinsky? No, no. There it is.

- The silver victorian inkwell. - How can you think about things?

We could've been murdered. There's the inkwell.

Silver Jaguar.

Why?

Slashed. Our throats slashed.

There's the degas.

Go to bed at night happy and then murdered. Would we have woken up?

We're alive. Oh!

And that's that.

Well, it's not.

I think we could tell if someone else was here.

We didn't all night.

No, don't pick up that phone! It's him!

Hello? Geoffrey! Flanders?

I've been thinking. Those japs really want the cezanne.

They'll pay. You can depend on me for an additional overcall of 250.

Two hundred and fifty thousand?

And I was thinking for South Africa,

what about a black American film festival?

With this spike Lee you have now.

And of course, get poitier down to be the President of the jury.

And I know cosby.

And I love this Eddie Murphy.

And my wife, she went fishing with Diana Ross...

And her new Norwegian husband.

And also, they must have some new blacks.

- It sounds a wonderful idea. - I'll call poitier at the Sherry.

No, we'll call. They're calling my plane.

- And again, last night... - No need to thank. See you shortly.

- The banks? - My lawyers.

Thank you, sir. Exactly.

- Safe trip. - Thank you.

And here we are.

Safe!

Yoo-hoo! Do we have a story to tell you! Whoo!

Do we have a story to tell you! Let us tell you ours first.

When did your story happen? Saturday night. We're still zonked.

We win. Our story happened Friday, so we go first.

Our two and their son are at Harvard together.

We're going to be in the movies.

We are going to be in the movie of cats. Yes!

You tell your story first.

Friday night we were home. The doorbell rang.

- I am not impressed, but it is the son of... - - You got it.

The kid was mugged. We had to go out. We left him.

He was so charming. His father was taking the red eye.

He couldn't get into the hotel till 7:00 A.M. he stayed with us.

Middle of the night we heard somebody screaming, "burglar! Burglar!"

We came out in the hall,

Paul is chasing this naked blond thief down the corridor.

Blond thief runs out, the alarms go off. The kid saved our lives.

That was no burglar. You had another houseguest.

Huh huh! We feel so guilty.

Paul could've been killed by that intruder. He was very understanding.

Was anything missing from your house? Nothing.

- Did you give Paul any money? - Twenty-five dollars till his father arrived.

We told them our story.

Ohh!

Have you talked to your kids? Couldn't get through.

I think we should go back to our place and phone.

Hello. Sherry netherland. I'd like to speak...

- she gave the name. - No, I'm not a fan. It's not a fan call.

Sidney poitier must be registered. His son is a friend of one of our...

Bet he's there under another name.

Try celebrity service.

Hello, celebrity service? I'm not sure how you work.

Greta garbo used the name Harriet brown.

You track down celebrities? Everybody must've known she was greta garbo.

I'd like to know how one would get in touch with...

oh, no, I'm not a press agent.

- I'm not with anyone. - My husband, flanders kittredge...

Celebrity services aren't giving out information on the phone. Try the public library.

Try who's who.

"To thank you for a wonderful time. Paul poitier."

- A pot of jam. - Pot of jam?

Jesus!

I think we should go to the police.

- What are the charges. - He came into our house.

- He cooked us dinner. - He told us the story of catcher in the rye.

- He said he was the son of Sidney poitier. - Sidney poitier?

- You got it. - Was he?

We don't know. We gave him $50.

We have him $25. He picked up a hustler.

He left. He chased a burglar.

- He didn't steal anything. - We looked and looked.

Top to bottom. Nothing.

Granted, this does not seem major now... look, we are very busy.

You can't Chuck us out. Come up with some charges, then I can do something.

¶¶

There is another chapter. Our kids came down from Harvard.

Just shut up and listen to your mother.

The details he knew.

How would he know about the painting?

I think it's a very fine kandinsky.

None of you know this fellow?

He has a wild quality, yet a real elegance,

a real concern and a real consideration.

Mom, you should've let him stay.

You should've divorced all your children and just let this dream boat stay.

Plus, he sent you flowers.

- And jam. - Oo-ooh!

If only we could just get in touch with his father,

to find out if there's any truth in it.

So who knows Sidney poitier? We could call and ask him.

I have a friend who does theatrical law. What friend?

It's nobody. No, I want to know.

Nobody!

Oh! Nobody!

Whatever is going on, I do not want to know.

Mom, dad, please! For once, please!

It's got nothing to do with you, Ben.

Tess, when you see your little sister...

Don't tell her that Paul and the hustler used her bed.

You put him in that bed.

I'm not getting involved in any conspiracy.

It's not a conspiracy! Hello, Al. It's a family.

The imagination.

It's there to sort out your nightmare.

To show you the exit from the maze of your nightmare.

To transform the nightmare into dreams that become your bedrock.

If we do not listen to that voice, it dies.

It shrivels. It vanishes.

Imagination is not our escape.

On the contrary.

The imagination is the place we are all trying to get to.

Aah!

- Hello. - I had a call that might interest you.

And a new character entered our story.

It was quite extraordinary. Very unusual. I was seeing a patient...

Dr. Fine, there's a friend of your son's here.

He's hurt.

Hi. I was mugged. Yes, please come in.

He was more scared than hurt.

A knife wound, a few bruises.

I don't know how to thank you, doctor. Don't be silly.

My father will be here tomorrow.

- He's making a movie of cats. - Yes.

And this man had been a matinee idol of my youth.

Somebody who had really forged ahead...

And made new paths for blacks just by the strength of his talent.

Strangely, I identified with him before I started medical school.

I mean, I'm a Jew. My grandparents were killed in the war.

And I had this sense of self-hatred, fear.

And this kid's father,

the bravery of his films,

gave me a direction, a confidence.

Simple as that.

We're always paying off debts.

Then my beeper went off.

A patient in her tenth month. Her water finally broke.

I gave the kid my keys.

Number 121. Thank you.

Doug's told me all about your brownstone. Is that right?

How you got it at a great price because there'd been a murder in it.

And for a while, people thought it had a curse.

But you, sir, were a scientific man and were courageous.

- Well, yes, courageous. - Very courageous.

I ran off to the delivery room.

Twins. Two boys. Oh!

I thought of my son. I dialed my boy at dartmouth.

Amazingly, he was in his room... doing what, I hate to ask.

So you've accused me of having no interest in your life,

of not doing for your friends, being a rotten father.

Well, this should make you very happy.

The son of who? Dad, I never heard of him.

Dad, as usual, you're a real cretin!

You gave him the keys? You gave a complete stranger...

Who happens to mention my name the keys to our house?

Sometimes it's so obvious to me why mom left.

I'm so embarrassed to know you!

You gave the keys to a stranger who shows up at your office?

Mother told me you beat her.

Mom told me you were a rotten lover and your body smelled of cheap wine.

Mom said sleeping with you was like sleeping with a salad made of bad dressing!

Why you had to bring me into this world?

- There are two sides to every story! - You're an idiot!

I went home, courageously...

With a policeman.

¶¶

¶¶

Arrest him!

Pardon? Breaking and entering!

Breaking and entering? You're an impostor!

Officer, your honor, your eminence...

Dr. Fine gave me the keys to his brownstone. Isn't that so?

My son doesn't know you! This man gave me the keys to his house. Isn't that so?

Did you give him the keys to your house?

Yes, but... but under false pretenses.

This fucking black kid crack addict comes into my office...

I've taken this much Brandy, lying to me.

But I can pour the rest back into the bottle.

I've used the electricity listening to music. Nothing's been taken from the house.

Excuse me. I want you to arrest this fraud!

- I'm sorry. - Stop him!

A cretin! A creep! No wonder mother left you!

Two sides... To every story.

We decided to get a copy of Sidney poitier's autobiography.

So, we go down to the strand bookstore. Eight Miles of books.

Five Sherlock holmeses.

I found it! This life, by Sidney poitier.

"Back in New York with juanita and the children,

"I became aware that our marriage, while working on some levels,

was falling apart in other fundamental areas."

There's a picture of him and his four...

Daughters.

No sons? No sons.

Imagine our surprise.

¶¶

Well, shall we?

This kid bulldozing his way into our lives.

We let him into our lives.

Me, I run a foundation. You're a dealer. You're a doctor.

You think we'd be satisfied with our achievements.

Agatha christie would ask, "what do we all have in common?"

It seems the common thread linking us all is an overwhelming need...

To be in the movie of cats.

Our kids, struggling through their lives.

I don't want to know anything about the spillover of their lives.

All we have in common is our children, who went to boarding school together.

Why have we never met? Oh, his mother had custody.

I lived out west. After Doug graduated high school,

she moved west, I moved east.

I think we should drop it right here.

Are you afraid Ben is mixed up in this fraud?

I don't want to know too much about our kid. Do you think Ben...

Is hiding things from us?

I tell you, I'm getting to the bottom of this.

My son has no involvements with any black frauds.

Doctor, you said something about crack.

I don't want to know. No, that just leapt out. No proof.

Good God, no proof!

We'll take a vote. Do we pursue this to the end, no matter what we find out about our kids?

- I vote yes. - Me too.

- I trust Doug. - No.

Yes.

Listen to this last page.

"We have hidden too much from our modern children.

"When we are scared we tend not to let them know.

"They see the bravest, toughest and most impenetrable visage that we can muster,

"precisely at those times when we are most afraid.

"We called it 'making it better for our children.' Protecting them.

"From what? The truth...

Is what we were protecting those little people from."

But what did you do next?

We went to Harvard. We had to enlist our children.

It's no one from our high school!

It's obviously someone you went to high school with,

since you go to different colleges.

Doug, I just want to tell you how I appreciate your coming here.

Dad, spare me. He knows the details of our lives.

Who in your high school, part of your group, has become homosexual or is into drugs?

That's like about 15 people. I don't want to know.

I find it really insulting that you assume it has to be a guy.

This movie star's son could have had a relationship with a girl in high school.

That's your problem in a nutshell. You're so limited.

Shh! -That's why I'm going to Afghanistan to climb mountains.

You're not climbing mountains. We have not invested...

All this money in you to scale the face of k-2.

Is that all I am? An investment?

T-t-t-track down everyone in your class,

male, female, whatever... not just homosexuals,

drug addicts... the kid could be a drug dealer.

Why do you look at me when you say that? You think I'm an addict?

A drug pusher? You know, I really resent the accusations.

No one is accusing you of anything, now sit down. I don't want to know,

sit down! I don't want to know, I don't want to know.

Nobody is accusing anyone of anything.

I'm asking you to go on a detective search.

Find out from your high school class...

If anyone has met a black kid pretending to be a movie star's son.

He promised you parts in cats?

It wasn't just that, it was fun!

You went to cats.

You said it was an all-time low in a lifetime of theatergoing.

Film is a different medium.

You said, "aeschylus did not invent theater to have it end up...

A bunch of chorus kids wondering which one of them will go to kitty Kat heaven."

- I don't remember saying that. - I think that was starlight express.

Well, maybe he'll make a movie of starlight express,

and you can all be on roller skates!

This is so humiliating. So pathetic. So racist.

- This is not racist! - Douglas!

Ben, if I remember correctly, you loved cats.

I hated cats.

Here is a copy of your yearbook.

Just get the phone numbers of everyone in your class.

How can I get in touch with anyone from high school? I've outgrown them.

How can you outgrow them? You graduated last year.

You can charge the calls to my phone.

No! Never! This is the k.G.B.!

You're always on the phone. Now I ask you to make calls all over, you become reticent?

This is the entire McCarthy period.

I just want to get one thing straight. Finally, we hear from the peanut gallery.

You gave him my pink shirt?

You gave a complete stranger my pink shirt?

That shirt was a Christmas present from you!

I treasured that shirt. I loved that shirt.

My collar has grown a full size from weight lifting.

You saw that my arms had grown, and you bought me that shirt...

For my new body.

I loved that shirt! My first shirt for my new body,

and you gave that shirt away?

I can't believe you! I hate this life and I hate you!

You never do anything for me!

You haven't done anything but try to block me.

I'm only this pathetic extension of your eighth-rate personality.

Social darwinism pushed beyond all limits! You gave him my pink shirt!

You want me to be everything you weren't.

You said drugs and looked at me?

Oh, God. I know the feeling.

When the children turn.

At least we inspired the kids to taking action.

They went on a hunt through the yearbook.

Oh, God. Remember Greg gumber? Oh, my God!

Did you kiss him? No... well, yeah, well...

come on, Tess. What were you thinking? What about that guy?

Nah. No, no. No.

No, no, no, no. Come on. Wait a minute.

- Trent Conway. - Trent Conway?

- Look at those beady eyes. - Trent Conway.

- He's at m.I.T. - So I went to m.I.T.

And he was there in his computer room.

And I just pressed him and pressed him and pressed him.

- Yes, I knew Paul. - I had this strapped to me.

But what happened between you?

It was... it was...

It was a rainy night in Boston.

He was in a doorway.

I met him.

And I took him back to my place.

What's this?

My address book. Damn.

All these names and addresses.

Tell me about these people.

This is where I wanted you to be.

Right here.

Tell me about these people, man.

I just want to look at you. Sorry!

Are these all rich people?

No. Hand to mouth, on a higher plateau.

Dang, it got to be rough to be with rich people.

Got to have money, you know, you gotta be...

Buyin' 'em presents and everything all the time.

Not at all.

Rich people do something nice for you, give 'em a pot of jam.

That's what pots of jam is for?

Orange, grapefruit, strawberry. But fancy.

I mean, they have entire stores filled with fancy pots of jam wrapped in cloth.

English or French.

Here, I tell you what I'm gonna do.

I pick a name, you tell me everything about 'em.

Where they live, secrets, everything.

And for every name,

you get a piece of my clothes.

All right.

Kittredge. Talbot and woodrow.

Talbot, called Tess,

was anorexic, and was in a hospital for a while.

- Oh, really now? - Mm-hmm.

Woodrow, known as Woody, has barbells for brains.

Their parents?

Ouisa and flan... for flanders... kittredge.

Rhode Island, I believe.

Newport, but not along the ocean.

The street behind the ocean.

He's an art dealer. They have a kandinsky.

"Kan-what-sky"?

A kandinsky. Uh, a double-sided kandinsky.

I feel like scheherazade!

I don't want you to leave me, Paul.

I'll go through my address book and I'll tell you about family after family.

You'll never not fit in again.

We'll even, uh, give you a new identity.

I'll make you the most sought-after young man in the east.

And then, one day, I'll come into one of these homes.

And you'll be there.

And I'll be presented to you.

And I'll pretend to meet you for the first time.

And our friendship will be witnessed by my friends.

And our parent's friends.

And if it all happens under their noses,

they can't judge me.

And they can't disparage you.

I'll make you a guest in their houses.

Now, ask me another name. I-I'd like to try for the shirt.

That's enough for today.

Paul stayed with me for three months.

You remember little Trent Conway.

The kid got ahold of his address book, with our names in it.

Yeah. You could be next.

Now. This is the way you must speak:

Hear my accent, hear my voice.

Now, you never say you're going "horseback riding."

You say you're going... Riding.

And don't say "couch."

Say "sofa."

And you, you say, "boddle." Like a "boddle o' beer."

It's "bottle."

- Say, "bottle of beer." - "Boddle o' beer."

"Boddle o' beer."

"Bottle of beer."

"Boddle of beer." What?

"Bottle of beer."

"Bottle"... of beer.

We went through the address book letter by letter.

Paul vanished by the "I's."

He took the address book with him.

Well, he's already been in all your houses.

Maybe I will meet him again.

I sure would like to.

His past? His real name?

I don't know anything about him.

It was a rainy night in Boston. He was in a doorway.

That's all. He took stuff from you?

Besides the address book? He took my stereo,

my sport jacket, my word processor.

And my laser printer.

And my skis.

And my TV. Will you press charges?

No. It's a felony.

Why do they want to find him? They say to help him.

If there's a crime, the cops will get involved.

Look, Tess, we really must keep in touch.

We were really good friends for a brief bit in school.

I mean, really good. Oh, please. Won't you press charges?

Can you believe it? Paul learned all that in three months.

Three months. Who'd have thought it? Trent Conway,

the Henry Higgins of our time.

Paul must have looked at all those names in that address book...

And said, "I am Columbus.

I am Magellan. I will sail into this new world."

I read somewhere that everybody on this planet...

Is separated by only six other people.

Six degrees of separation...

Between us and everyone else on this planet.

The president of the United States or a gondolier in venice.

Just fill in the names.

I find that extremely comforting,

that we're so close, but...

I also find it like Chinese water torture that we're so close,

because you have to find the right six people...

To make the connection.

It's not just big names. It's anyone.

A native in a rain forest of tierra del fuego and an eskimo.

I am bound... um, you are bound...

to everyone on this planet by a trail of six people.

It's a profound thought.

How Paul found us.

How to find the man whose son he claims to be, and perhaps is, although I doubt it.

How everyone is a new door...

Opening into other worlds.

Six degrees of separation between us...

And everyone else on this planet.

But to find the right six people.

Hi, ouisa! Hi, flan. Good to see you, John.

Are you still going to Rome? Leaving tomorrow.

Are you going to see the sistine chapel? We can't, it's closed.

Cleaning it. Yup. When in Rome...

you must know these people.

Oh! Oh, wonderful.

I've always wanted to meet him. Good, good.

We'll call him just as soon as we get in.

Good.

Rome is always remarkable, but to see the sistine chapel like this...

To stand at the very top of the scaffolding...

the colors are vibrant.

We went to Rome on business, but thanks to Michelangelo...

I think I have a buyer for that piece.

I don't think I want to sell.

They restored the chapel, after all these years. They've taken off...

Years of smoke and tourists, and now it's brand new.

It's staggering.

But what happened to Sidney poitier's son?

Oh, we put all of that out of our heads.

The package would be much more lucrative for you if you could include that piece.

I've heard so many stories. Like what?

- Well, that he stole money and jewelry. - No, never!

Can we get down to business? Good day.

- Ah! - Ah!

All right. I am humiliated, but what the hell.

The day after we came back from Rome,

we were stepping out of a taxi from lunch.

Our doorman, whom we tip very well at Christmas,

and anytime he does anything nice for us...

our doorman spit at my husband, j. Flanders kittredge.

I mean, he spit at him. Thank you, Morris.

Darling, they don't need to know every detail.

Your son, I know all about your son.

What about my son? Not the little shit that lives here, the other son.

The secret son. The negro son you deny! Negro son?

The black son you make live in central park while you're gallivanting around Rome!

Do you have a black son? No!

This is how rumors get started and set in cement.

The girl told me everything. She wants her money. Who?

Who? I'm keeping her in a safe place.

Come, come, come.

The next chapter.

My boyfriend and I took a picnic into the park.

So, do they have any black people in Utah?

Maybe two. Ah, I saw them once! Two black people.

Yeah, the mormons brought in two.

Do you think it'll hurt me?

What'll hurt you? My resemblance to liv ullman.

She won the all-state competition for comedy and drama.

Really? My gosh.

"The quality of mercy is not strained.

It droppeth like the gentle rain from heaven."

Ahh. Ahh!

Yeah. And we study. Thank you.

And we wait tables. Because you have to have technique.

Well, like the painters.

Cezanne looked for the rules behind the spontaneity of impressionism.

Ceza... that's a painter? We don't know anything about painting.

My dad loves painting. He has a kandinsky,

but he loves cezanne the most.

- He lives up there! - What?

Yeah, count six windows down.

On the corner.

John flanders kittredge.

His chums call him flan.

I was the child of flan's hippy days.

His radical days.

He went down South as a freedom marcher to register black voters.

- You did? - No!

Can't you just see me marching down South for "freedom now"?

Yes. Yes, I can.

His friends were killed, he met my mother, registered her,

married her in a fit of sentimental righteousness, knocked her up with me...

And came back here and abandoned her.

You didn't. Flan, shame.

He's now a fancy art dealer.

Won't see me.

The new wife, the white wife...

the Louisa kittredge, "call me ouisa" wife,

the mother of the new children wife...

your brothers and sisters.

They go to andover and exeter and Harvard and Yale.

The awful thing is my father started out good.

My mother says there's a good man inside j. Flanders kittredge.

There is, darling, there is.

Flan thinks he's part of some sinister plot. Oh, it's all too creepy.

I don't even like to talk about it.

He would see you if he's that good.

He can't forget you entirely. I call him, he hangs up.

Go to his office. He doesn't have an office. He works out of there.

They won't even let me in the elevator. Dress up as a messenger.

Say you got a masterpiece for him.

"I got the Mona Lisa in the truck."

I don't want to embarrass him.

Oh, this is so fucking tacky.

You two love each other?

A lot. That's good.

These are nice kids. Yeah, they work for a living.

I hope we can meet again.

Yeah. Hey, where do you live? Mm.

Live? I'm home.

You don't live in the streets?

You guys are such assholes.

I mean, where would I live?

You can stay with us. We just have a railroad flat in a tenement.

It's over a roller disco. The last of the roller discos,

but it's quiet by 5:00 A.M., and a great narrow space.

We could give you the couch. The tub is in the kitchen,

but there's light in the morning.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

He opened up a whole new world to us.

It's all anybody wants, isn't it?

A new world.

You say you're "going riding."

Riding. And never say "couch." It's "sofa."

Sofa. Sofa.

And you say "boddle." It's "bottle."

"Bottle of beer." "Boddle of beer."

"Bottle. Bottle." No, "bottle of beer."

- "Bottle of beer." - Oh, see? "Bottle of beer."

And never be afraid of rich people.

You know what they love?

A fancy pot of jam.

Really, that's all!

Get yourself a patron. That's what you need.

You shouldn't be waiting tables.

You're going to wake up, and the temporary job you picked to stay alive...

Is going to be your full-time life.

- He stayed with them for... - Two or three weeks.

He sunk his heels in.

I'm moving out of here. You can't!

My father answered my letter.

He's going to give me $1,000, and that's just for starters!

He sold his cezanne to the Japanese and made millions.

Now he can give me money without her knowing it.

I knew it.

I'm gonna give you the money to put on any play you want.

Agents will come and see you, and you'll be discovered!

And when you win your oscars, both of you,

you'll look in the camera and thank me.

"I want to thank Paul kittredge." "Thanks, Paul."

One hitch. I'm going to meet him in Maine.

He's visiting his parents in dark harbor.

My grandparents, whom I've never met.

He's finally going to tell my grandparents about me.

Can you just see the look on my parents' faces if a black kid showed up?

Hi, grandma.

Flan, your parents are dead.

He's gonna give me money.

I can go back home, get my mama that beauty parlor she's wanted all her life.

One problem: How am I going to get to Maine?

The wife checks all the bills.

Where the hell am I going to get $250 to get to Maine?

How long would you need it for?

Oh, I'll be gone a week.

But I could wire it back to you.

We could lend it to him for a week. If something happens...

you're just like his stepmother. These women, holding on to all the purse strings.

No, we worked too hard to save that.

I'm sorry, Paul. We just can't.

Look, no problem. I understand.

I'll meet you both after work. Sure.

If your dad loves you, he'll get you the ticket up there. He does.

It'll work out.

Hey, posture. Stand up straight.

Don't slump. Attitudes of defeat.

The girl worked just to stay alive.

She was one of those armies of young people...

Who come to New York filled with dreams,

and end up on a treadmill, working and working,

forgetting what they wanted and why they came here.

There must be some mistake. It says my joint account...

- can you see the numbers on the screen? - Come on.

That's right, it's my name and his name. My joint account.

Well, who closed this account?

I was furious. Can't tell you how furious I was.

Then I went home to my luxurious penthouse,

and I waited for hours.

Where's the money? Hi.

Listen, let me explain.

Paul found some extra money of his own.

¶¶

So he took me to the rainbow room.

He would have treated you, only you had to work.

We rented these tuxedos. Thank you.

Isn't it a gas? How did we get this table?

Stick with me, babe. I know the right names to drop.

He's gonna give us the money back.

And then I'm taking you to the rainbow room.

I brought you matches.

It's not that expensive for what you get.

It's not a bargain, but it's worth it.

Mm. Wonderful bouquet. Bouquet?

The taste of wine.

Always remember, the wine from the even-numbered years is superior...

To the wine from the odd-numbered years.

Cheers. Skoal. Prosit. Mud in your eye.

You're just about the greatest.

You wanna dance?

Elizabeth has never seen anything like here.

I wish she was... who do we dance with?

We're guys.

Every moment in life is a learning experience.

Or what good is it? Right?

Right? Yes.

Then let this bunch of jerks see class.

I swear, nothing like this ever happened in Utah.

¶¶

Nothing like that must have happened in the rainbow room,

'cause they asked us to leave.

¶¶

It was so funny!

Around the park, sir!

We don't have any money.

Amigo, when will you learn? Money is the one commodity you can always get.

Yeah!

I'm gonna have to explain to Elizabeth about the money and calm her.

She gets so nervous... hey, Paul. Come on. Stop that.

I was wondering if I could fuck you.

Man, I don't do things like that.

That's what makes it so nice. You don't.

And he did.

And it was fantastic.

We came here for experience, right?

- We can use this, right? - You're a fool!

Your father is right. You are a fool.

We came here for experience. My father is not right. I can't have him be right.

Elizabeth, it's gonna... don't touch me! Don't!

Hey! Hey! Come back here!

Hey! You...

Paul! Paul!

Look at me.

E-Elizabeth, I didn't come here to do this,

or to lose that, or to...

to be this or to do this to you.

Not to you.

Look at me.

I couldn't look at him. Spent the night thinking about having no money.

About Paul and his father. So, this morning...

sir? Sir?

I need to get up to see some people named kittredge. Are they expecting you?

This kittredge has a black son that he makes live in the park who took money from me.

Mr. Kittredge has what? His son owes me money.

You have to call and write them a letter, yes?

"The quality of mercy is not strained."

Well, fuck you, quality of mercy!

I-it's trouble with Mr. Kittredge's negro son. I take care of it. Don't worry.

All over the building that I had abandoned...

Some mistake of my past in central park.

But it's too fantastic. It was so embarrassing.

- It's horrible. - It wasn't so embarrassing.

- I bet flan loves to be outraged. - I do not!

You do too. Flan loves getting into high dudgeon.

And look at his cheeks turn all rosy.

Oh. Dudgeon becomes him.

To high dudgeon.

Now, can we get down to business?

Do we have a story for you. Kitty and I...

Were at the roller disco two clients opened.

I hadn't skated in... I hate to tell you how many years.

We came outside giddy and reeling.

You wouldn't believe what we saw.

The blood seeping out hadn't yet reached the gutter.

The blood was oozing slowly out towards the curb.

The body must have just landed there in a clump.

The boy had just jumped from above. He could have landed on us.

We just missed it by minutes.

Rick! Oh, my God! Rick!

Rick!

- She'll press charges. - I want Paul dead.

Rick's dead.

You bet your life I'll press charges.

We're very sorry. Is there anything we can do to help?

That Paul's a menace. We could have been killed. Throats slashed.

He wasn't going to kill us. We haven't seen him since that night.

- Find him. We might have a case. - Find him?

How do we find him? Well, we could release it to the papers.

I can call the times. Ooh, let me. I have friends at the times...

no, I don't want to know.

They'll publish the story. Someone will see it.

And turn him in. We'll find him. Six degrees.

"Who says new yorkers don't have a heart?

"Smart, sophisticated, tough new yorkers such as the j. Flanders kittredges,

"who opened their homes and pocketbooks to a young man,

"learned yesterday they had been boondoggled...

By a confidence man now wanted by police."

Did you see the piece in the times?

We were in squaw valley.

We came off very well. I-I forgot to mention your foundation.

You could wallpaper the empire state building...

With all the copies that flan had made.

Come to dinner with us after. Can't.

Work. Matisse. Auction.

Ooh. Ah, no. Matisse on an off day.

But our people are prepared to go to over...

oh, don't tell all the family secrets. Well over $12 million.

Ahh! Out of which, you will keep...

not much in these days. Oh, boy.

- Bring back the '80s. - Uh-huh.

We'll have to give most of it away.

But the good part is, it gives us credibility in this new market.

It's all out of whack. Everything's up, everything's down.

Did you ever hear from poitier's son? No.

Did you ever hear from the boy?

Oh, Mrs. Bannister, we're here to honor your guests.

But I keep hearing about this story.

I heard about it last week in southampton.

- It's amazing, isn't it? - No, really, to get the u.N. To finally...

she can't save the world every day.

This is my supper, and I command you to sing.

This is lunch. What happened?

Well, there is one last chapter.

Which happened the other night.

Ouisa, may I?

¶ The Matisse will be mine ¶

¶ for an hour or so ¶

¶ then regrettably it has to go ¶¶

What are you wearing? Oh, I'm totally dolled up.

The blue satin. Have you seen it?

Darling, I have to tell you a sign I saw today.

"Cruelty-free cosmetics."

A store was selling cruelty-free cosmetics.

Well, mother, that is such a beautiful thing. Do you realize...

The agony cosmetic companies put rabbits through just to test eye-shadow?

Oh, darling, I know that.

I was referring to the phrase.

"Cruelty-free cosmetics" should erase all traces of time and cellulite...

mother, I'm getting married.

I thought you were going to Afghanistan.

I'm going to get married and then I'm going to Afghanistan.

One country at a time. Huh!

You're not getting married. Immediately, so deeply negative.

Look, I know everyone you know, and you're not marrying any of them.

The arrogance, that you would assume you know everyone I know.

The way that you say that! "I know everyone you know."

Well, unless you met them in the last two days, you can't hold a secret.

Now, wait. I'll put you on hold.

Nobody ever calls on that number. Mother!

Hello? Hello?

Paul? I saw the story in the paper.

I didn't know that the boy killed himself. He gave me that money. I didn't steal anything.

W-w-wait. I'll put you on hold. I'm talking to my child.

- Put me on hold and you'll never hear from me again. - Yes, ye...

mother, can I... hello?

Look, you have to turn yourself in. That boy committed suicide.

The girl is pressing charges. You stole that money.

Turn yourself in. Make it easy on yourself. They're gonna get you.

Learn when you're trapped. You're so brilliant.

You have such promise. You need help.

Would you help me? What do you want me to do?

- Stay with you. - That is impossible!

Why? My husband feels you betrayed him.

Do you? You're a lunatic!

And picking up that dreck off the street. Are you suicidal?

Do you have aids? Are you infected?

I don't have it. It's a miracle, but I don't.

Do you feel I betrayed you?

If you do, I'll hang up and never bother you again.

Where have you been?

- Traveling. - Are you in trouble?

Oh, ho, I mean, more trouble.

No. I only visited you.

I didn't like the first people so much.

They just went out and left me alone.

I didn't like the doctor. He was too eager to please.

And he just left me alone. But you...

you and your husband, we all stayed together. What did you want from us?

- Everlasting friendship. - Nobody has that.

You do. What do you think we are?

Oh, are you going to tell me secrets?

You're not what you appear to be?

You have no secrets. Trent Conway told me everything your kids have told him.

What did our kids tell him about us?

I don't tell that. Save that for blackmail.

- Well, then perhaps I better hang up. - No!

I went to a museum. I like Toulouse-lautrec.

As well you should.

I read the Andy warhol diaries.

I see you are becoming an aesthete.

Are you laughing at me?

No, I read them too. I read the agony and the ecstasy by Irving stone...

About Michelangelo painting the sistine chapel.

- You're ahead of me there. - Have you seen the sistine chapel?

Oh, yes. I went right to the top.

In a rickety old elevator.

We watched the men clean it.

You've been to the top of the sistine chapel?

Stood right under the hand of God touching the hand of man.

One of the workmen said, "hit it, hit it!"

It's only a fresco.

So I did! I slapped God's hand!

You-you slapped God's hand?

You know what they clean it with?

All this modern technology. Q-tips and water. No.

Clean away the years of soot.

Grime. Paint-overs. Q-tips and water...

Changing the history of Western art.

Vivid color.

- Take me to see it. - Take you to see it?

Paul, they think you might have murdered someone. Give me a hand with these?

Paul. Yes. Paul?

I'll call that detective.

Who's that? Hello? Dad! We were cut off!

Oh, Tess. Hi. I'm getting married!

- Tess, can you call back? - I'm getting married, and I'm going to Afghanistan!

Honey, I-I can't talk about this now. I am gonna ruin my life,

and throw away everything you want me to be, because it's the only way to hurt you!

Jesus chr...

Yeah.

- I have that kid on the line. - Find out where he is!

Find out where he is.

Um, uh, look. Why don't you come here? Where are you?

I come there and you'll have the cops waiting.

Tell him he has to trust us. No, you have to trust us.

- Why? - Because we like you.

- We like him. Where is he? - Who's there?

- Um, it's... it's flan. - I'm not here.

- Oh, God. - Are you in tonight?

I could come and make a feast for you. We're going out tonight.

But you can be here when we get back. Are you crazy?

Tell a crook we're going out, the house is empty?

- Where are you going? - Sotheby's. - And the key is under the mat.

Hi! Can I come to sotheby's?

Aw, shoot, I've lost the detective. Paul says hi.

- Sotheby's. - Wonderful, I'll come.

No, no. No, you can't. Why? I was helpful last time.

Let me handle this. Paul, you were very helpful about the cezanne.

Really, you know... and you impressed Geoffrey.

Now, where are you exactly, son?

You know, I was thinking maybe that's what I should do...

Is what you do in art, making money out of art,

and meeting people and not working in an office.

No, you're just seeing the glamorous side of it. There's a whole, grotty side...

- oh, I could easily learn the grotty. - You have to have art history,

you have to have language, you have to have economics. I'm fast. I could do it.

Do your kids want to? No, I mean,

it's not the sort of profession that you hand down from one...

what am I doing talking career counseling to you?

You embarrassed me in my building. You stole money.

There's a warrant for your arrest. Goddamn it!

No, don't! Don't! Don't hang up! He sucked me in again.

Paul? Are you there? Oh, you made him hang up.

I'm here. You are?

Who are you? What's your real name?

If you let me stay with you, I'll tell you.

That night was the happiest night I ever had.

That was the happiest night he ever had.

Oh, please. I'm not a bullshitter.

But never bullshit a bullshitter.

Now, get rid of him, ouisa.

Oh, you look great, dear.

Tonight's big business. Get him off the phone. Why?

You let me use all the parts of myself that night.

That was magical, that salinger stuff.

It was a graduation speech at groton two years ago.

Your cooking.

Other people's recipes.

Did you see Donald barthelme's obituary?

He said that collage was the art form of the 20th century.

Everything is somebody else's.

Not your children. Not your life.

No. You got me there.

That is mine. That is nobody else's.

You don't sound happy.

There is so much you don't know.

You are so smart and so stupid.

Don't you ever say I'm stupid!

Have some flexibility! You're stupid not to realize what you could be.

- What could I be? - So much.

With you behind me. Perhaps. You liked that night?

I've thought since that you spent all your time laughing at us.

No, I... you picked up that awful hustling thing to show us your contempt.

I was so happy, I wanted to add sex to it. Don't you do that?

No.

I'll tell you my name. Please?

It's Paul poitier-kittredge.

- It's a hyphenated name. - Paul?

Listen to me: You need help.

Go to the police. Turn yourself in.

You'll be over it all the sooner. You can start...

start what? Your life!

Will you help me?

I will help you, but first, you have to go to the police.

You have to go to jail. And will you send me books and polaroids of you,

and cassettes and letters?

Yes. Will you visit me?

I will visit you.

And when you do, you'll wear your best clothes and knock 'em dead?

I'll knock 'em dead. But you have to be careful in prison.

- You have to use condoms. - Oh, I won't have sex in prison.

- I only have sex when I'm happy. - Oh, go to the police!

Will you take me? I'll leave you the name of the detective to see.

I'll be treated with care if you take me to the police.

If they don't know you're special, they kill you!

Oh, I don't think they kill you!

Mrs. Louisa kittredge, I am black.

I will deliver you to them.

With kindness... And affection.

And I'll plead guilty, and go to prison and serve a few months.

A few months tops. And when I get out, I'll work for you and learn.

Hey, whoa, no, we'll work all that out.

No, no, no, look. I want to know now.

- Yes, you'll work for us. - Learn all the trade, not just the grotty part.

- Top to bottom. - And live with you.

No. Why? Your kids are away.

You should have your own place.

Will you help me find a place? We'll help you find a place.

I have no furniture.

- We'll help you out. - I made a list of things I liked at the museum.

Philadelphia chippendale.

Believe it or not, we have two Philadelphia chippendale chairs.

I'd rather have one nice piece than a room full of junk.

Quality always!

You'll have all that. Philadelphia chippendale.

And all I have to do is go to the police.

Make it all history.

Put it behind you.

Tonight. Oh, no. It can't be tonight.

I'll take you tomorrow. We have to have drinks before the auction tonight.

Japanese? No, Germans!

- You are just like my father! - Yeah, which father?

Sidney!

Paul?

He's not your father. And flanders...

Is not your father.

Ouisa, for chrissakes, are you still on the phone?

We have drinks with the Japanese...

is it still that kid?

Get him out of our life! Get him off the phone,

or I'll rip the fucking line out of the wall.

Paul? I made a mistake. It is not the Germans.

We will come and get you tonight. Where are you?

Tell me. We will take you to the police, and they will treat you with dignity.

Uh, um...

I'm at the corner of 6th Avenue and 4th street.

I'll meet you in the lobby of the waverly movie theater.

We'll be there in half an hour. -I'll give you 15 minutes' grace time.

We'll be there.

Paul? We love you.

Ouisa... I love you, ouisa kittredge.

Hey! Bring a pink shirt?

We'll have a wonderful life.

We can skip the schmoozing, pick the boy up, take him to the police...

And be at sotheby's before 9:00.

Sure.

But we hadn't counted on... traffic.

- Traffic. - Traffic.

We promised Paul we would take him to the police.

I called our new best friend, the detective.

Paul? Paul? Officer, please, let us go with him!

We promised we would go with him. Get back, please.

Paul? Paul? No, ouisa!

Officer, please! Paul! The kandinsky is painted on both sides.

- There's nothing more you could do. - I didn't think so, no.

The next day, ouisa went to the precinct.

Detective Marino, please.

He's transferred. Since yesterday?

He's handling this. He's transferred.

Uh, look, this is about an arrest...

That was made yesterday at the waverly movie theater.

Hold on.

This precinct didn't do any business at the waverly theater.

Well, I didn't imagine it. I'm not sayin' you did.

Perhaps you can tell me which precinct did... hold on, hold on, hold on.

The name?

Um, poitier. Or kittredge.

Um... are you family?

Not exactly. Look, the detective told me yesterday...

That I could go with the young man when he was arraigned,

so that I could tell them that he was, um, special...

we have no record of it. Some other precinct must have made the arrest.

It sounds like your special friend was wanted for something else.

Like what? Lady, how can I help you?

You don't even know your friend's name.

Six degrees.

We weren't family. We didn't know Paul's name.

I went to the district attorney's office.

We weren't family. We didn't know Paul's name.

I called the criminal courts: I wasn't family, I didn't know Paul's name.

I read today that... A young man...

Committed suicide in rikers island prison,

and tied his shirt around his neck...

And hanged himself.

Was it the pink shirt?

A burst of color. A pink shirt.

- Was it Paul? We never did find out who he was. - Oh, I'm sure it wasn't him.

Yes, I agree. Isn't it amazing?

We haven't seen the last of him, believe me.

He'll be back. He'll find a way.

The imagination? Oh!

Why does it mean so much to you?

He wanted to be us.

Everything we are in the world.

This paltry thing, our life. He wanted it.

He stabbed himself to get into our lives.

He envied us. We're not enough to be envied.

Like the papers said, we do have hearts.

Having a heart is not the point.

We were hardly taken in. We believed him for a few hours.

He did more for us in a few hours than our children ever did.

And he wanted to be your child. Don't let that go.

He sat out in that park and said, "that man is my father."

He's in trouble, and we don't know how to help him.

Help him? My God!

We could have been killed. Throats slashed.

You were attracted to him. Oh, please. Cut me out of that pathology.

- Right now. - Attracted by his youth, his talent...

And the embarrassing prospect of being in the movie version of cats.

That, yes.

Did you put that in your times piece?

And we turn him into an anecdote.

To dine out on, like we're doing right now.

But it was an experience. I will not turn him into an anecdote.

How do we keep what happens to us?

How do we fit it into life...

Without turning it into an anecdote?

With no teeth, but a punch line you'll mouth years to come.

"Oh, that reminds me of the time that impostor came into our lives."

"Oh, tell the one about that boy."

And we become these human jukeboxes spilling out these anecdotes.

But it was an experience.

How do we keep the experience?

That's why I love paintings. Cezanne: The problems he brought up then...

Are the problems painters are still dealing with.

Color. Structure. Those are problems.

There is color in my life, but I'm not aware of any structure.

What are you saying, darling?

Cezanne would leave bl-blank spaces in his canvases...

If he couldn't account for the brush stroke.

Couldn't... give a reason for the color.

And I am a collage of unaccounted-for brush strokes.

I am all... Random.

- Excuse me. - Ouisa?

Do sit down! Excuse me, please.

Ouisa!

What kind of behavior is this?

God, flan, how much of your life can you account for?

Are you drunk? What's the matter with you?

Don't you realize how important she is?

What are you unhappy about?

The cezanne sale went through, the Matisse went through.

We're rich! Rich enough. Next month there's a bonnard.

These are the times I could take out a knife and dig out your heart.

Answer me! How much of your... my life could I account for?

All of it!

- I am a gambler. - We're a terrible match.

Kandinsky.

The kandinsky's painted on two sides.

¶¶

¶¶

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