All language subtitles for Scrubs - 1x23 - My Hero (2).en

Oh, my God, I can't
believe I'm about to do this.

What's wrong?

- I lost my mop.
- Really?

No. But that's the only thing
that could make me unhappy, right?

You people think of me
as nothing but The Janitor.

- That's not true.
- What's my name?

I know that the nurses
call you Sir Plunge-a-lot.

- I know.
- Come on.

- I'm sure you don't know my name so...
- John Michael Dorian.

- How did you know my middle name?
- Because I care.

Today seems like a good day to
hide out in one of my patient's rooms.

You, my friend,
are an incompetent fool!

Unless, of course,
my patient is missing.

Where's my brother?

Say, ''I don't know,'' I'll show you what
I learned in my crotch-punching class.

I think it's great that
you're going back to school.

Why would he wander off?
Oh, maybe he went to a real hospital.

He found out
he had leukaemia yesterday.

That's life-changing news. You
can't be surprised if he's depressed.

Hey, doc!

This guy's got something
on his shoulder. Take a look.

Ben, put the small children down.

Is anybody missing one of these?

OK!

You heard the doctor.
Sit this one out.

- Please...
- My hands are free to...

No, no, Ben! Seriously, Ben!
Ben! No, come on, Ben!

Stop, Ben. Put me down. Ben!

Faster!

Eagle!

You had enough?

- Sad.
- You want a turn?

- Come on.
- Don't you dare! Don't you dare! No!

- No! Ben, put me down! No!
- Get a shot of the mean lady.

Hey, shorty.
You short person,

you take that picture, you'll be glad
you're in a hospital. Help!

You've got
a Christmas card right there.

You're funny. I don't understand why
you refuse to put on a gown.

Because I don't
like people to see my bum.

- So wear underwear.
- You know how I feel about underwear.

Every girl who came to our
house in the mid-'80s

- knows how you feel.
- Sweatpants years.

I don't like that much freedom down
there. Makes me tingle in my giblets.

If you don't
start taking this seriously...

I'm a good intern, but when
you're dealing with disease and family,

an intern just doesn't cut it.
What you need...

...is a hero.

Shut up. Shut up.
And definitely shut up.

But, I didn't say any...

I know, but I enjoy saying it to you.
OK, here's the deal.

If we're gonna beat this thing,
and we damn sure are,

we'll do it one way
and one way only:

- We're gonna be a team, team, team.
- I hear you, Dr Cox.

I am so not speaking to you,
Rhonda, thank you.

I'm sorry, I'm very excited. Go!

What do you say, children?
Are we a team?

I'm in.

Go Team Cancer.

Wow, he did it.

I've got to go take care
of some other patients.

I don't believe it. I didn't
get tomorrow's Whipple procedure.

- I know.
- This is ridiculous.

Calm down.

What's a brother got to do to get a
Whipple? What's a brother got to do?

Listen. You've got to stop
turning your medical training

into some ego-driven contest.
No one else is doing that.

Oh, I got the Whipple.

Suck it, Turk.

- I will end her.
- No, no.

- Dude, let her go.
- Let go of me.

It'll be so hot.

Can you tell me the treatment regimen
for organophosphate toxicity, Dr Reid?

I would give
intramuscular epinephrine,

then IV calcium gluconate,
and emergency haemodialysis.

If I wanted you
to give me three wrong answers in a row

I would have just asked
for ''the usual.''

Dr Murphy, care to jump in?

I think it's...

- Do you have a speech impediment?
- Excuse me?

You insist on starting
every answer with ''um.''

So you've either got a speech impediment

or you're a stammering know-nothing
who doesn't belong in medicine.

Well spoken.

Now, get out!
All of you! Get out!

Get out! Out! Out! Out!

Jumpin' Jupiter,
I do enjoy the tough love.

They probably like it too,
whether they admit it or not.

Well...

''Oh, the old guy's so tough on me,
but I love him.'' Right?

Right? They hate you, Bob.

They hate you from your hooves
to the top of your pitchfork.

They hate you,
dear God, they hate you good.

What're you laughing at?

That ''hooves'' and ''pitchfork'' part.

- Why?
- No reason.

Now, do you think you can make
Ben behave like a patient or not?

No problem.

- I got him to put his gown on.
- He sure did.

And now my butt itches on
account of this scratchy chair.

What're we watching?

Wings. And shut up,
I like the cab driver. He slays me.

Antonio. Played by
the actor Tony Shalhoub,

also particularly fantastic
in a film called Big Night.

Congratulations. Your DiMaggio-like
streak for saying nothing

even remotely interesting
is still alive and well.

I didn't care about the abuse.

The most amazing thing was to
watch how Dr Cox dealt with his friend.

How he made him feel safe.

- Do I have to get a special doctor?
- An oncologist.

Do we have to talk about this? You
must have something else on your mind.

Nope. Just pretty much
that leukaemia thing.

Ben, leukaemia is a petty, ugly illness

and we'll not dignify it
by speaking of it

unless absolutely necessary.
Is that clear to you?

Gotcha.

You are such a stud.

That was interesting.

So, Doctor Wen.

You asked Bonnie to assist you
with this Whipple procedure?

- Yes, I did.
- Thanks again, sir.

I guess we should just let it go.

I mean, neither one of us wants to
do anything to make it worse, right?

You guys ever notice
how you're both Asian?

Your mother's maiden name is Turner.

So you used your key to get
into my personnel file. Big deal.

Your first kiss was with Sarah Briggs

at the embarrassing age of 16.

She wore a green turtleneck.

You wonder sometimes if she still
thinks about you. I'm guessing no.

- How could you possibly know that?
- I'm your father.

Good morning, Dr Dorian.

You probably don't notice it yourself,
but this hospital is a freak show.

This is my band.

We're all working from different
departments in the hospital.

- Legal
- Accounting

- Shipping and Receiving
- Online Property Management

Including Pest Control
Night Time Security

And Non-Arboreal
Gardening Services

That's... That's just great.

We mostly do a cappella versions
of cartoon theme songs.

Dr Reid, I hope
I wasn't too harsh on you

- at rounds this morning.
- Oh, it's OK, sir.

I don't hate myself much
more than usual.

Well, turnabout's fair play, and all
that, so here's an evaluation form.

I figured I'd try to get a read
on how all you interns think I'm doing.

Don't sign your name.

It's completely anonymous,
and Dr Reid, I'm no she-doc.

I can take it.

- You're going to crush him, right?
- Oh, yes.

- How do you spell ''inadequate''?
- Give me that.

I'll fill it out for you.

So, Mr Sullivan,
your blast percentage

is quite a bit higher than we
all expected. Around 80 percent.

That's bad, right? You want the number
to be low, huh? Like in golf?

Yes, exactly.
Like in golf. Do you play?

Oh, who the hell cares
if he plays golf?

I was bonding.

You're doing a good job too.

Oh, thanks.

Who is this clown?

Paul here is the best
oncologist in the room,

so why don't we all
just clam up and listen.

- We need to start chemo.
- When?

This afternoon.

I'm afraid this afternoon
doesn't work for me.

Ironically, I have
a golf game to get to.

Benji, don't sweat it.
Come on, give me a break.

You gonna be there?

I've got a thousand patients
to look after, so no,

I'll probably miss this
first one, but I will leave

my lovely and talented
assistant, Kimmy, OK?

Yeah, sure, you know, OK.

- Oh, am I Kimmy?
- No, I'm Kimmy.

Oh! Good.

Carla torched Dr Kelso for me.

No matter what I wrote, I always
brought it back to sexual inadequacy.

- So good.
- Hello, ladies.

- Hey, Doug.
- Hey, Doug.

What did you write
on Kelso's evaluation?

- What evaluation?
- You didn't get yours yet?

Nobody got one.

Around here, bad behaviour
comes back to haunt you.

Dr Wen, I want
to take this opportunity

to once again apologise to you
and the entire Asian community.

I'll pass it on
at the next big meeting.

You know, Christopher,

surgeons don't have to be
shallow, rank-obsessed clich�s.

So who's the best surgical intern?

Is it Bonnie? Is it me?
Come on, I just, I gotta know.

The periampullary carcinoma patient
had a failed stenting of the bile duct.

I wanna prep him for a pylorus
sparing pancreaticoduodenectomy.

Thanks.

Wassup, T-Man!
Show the Todd some love.

Ben seemed
pretty down after you left,

so I could cover
and you could hang out.

You're a lamb,
but you don't have to.

- I don't mind. It's...
- Newbie, stop.

It's funny how people
handle bad news in different ways.

Some people have
a visceral reaction.

Time to get my soapy-soap on.

Some people go into denial.

No way.

And others...

What chance do you give a guy
with Ben's blast percentage? Huh?

Twenty percent?
Thirty...maybe?

You see, I can't handle that.
I cannot.

So, no thank you there, Johnny.

Others just walk away.

Chemotherapy looks harmless,

but it's poison pumped
directly into your veins.

Every time I got
sick when I was a little kid,

- Mom would get me a Tonka truck.
- Yeah, so?

So where's my Tonka truck?

- Score.
- The earth-mover. Can I see?

Ah, see it with your eyes, man,
not with your hands. See?

I can't believe Perry
bailed on you. Typical.

He's always out the door
if things get too real.

This is the true story.

True story!

Of four people,
forced to hang out in a hospital.

To find out what happens
when people stop being polite...

And start being real.

- He didn't bail.
- If he did, he's a total wuss.

You said you were giving
evaluations to all the interns.

Well, not all at once, sweetheart.

With your way there'd be no
accountability. No back and forth.

You wouldn't have to
explain to me why, let's see...

...''I'm most likely frustrated

because I haven't gotten any
since the Bay of Pigs.''

Oh, sir, I'm so sorry.

Are we cool?

What could have
possessed you to write such filth?

I need to tell you something...

No, that's OK, Carla,
I'm gonna take care of that patient.

Dr Kelso, I did it because I didn't
think that you'd know it was me

and I thought that it would be funny.

Let's take a walk.

I'd like to tell you a few things
that I think are funny.

Oh, come on, how could
this guy be the best?

You want to know
the difference between you?

When you're working I can
always see your wheels turning.

You're thinking about what to do next,
what could go wrong.

You're not in the moment.

And as much as it pains me
to say this, the Todd is.

Please. Just because I'm thorough

and want to keep two
Kelly clamps on

in case the appendiceal artery
is inadvertently incised

so I can gain immediate haemostatic
control doesn't mean I think too much.

Shiny scalpel

Dum de de dum, de de dum
De de dum, gonna slice him up

- You're afraid of escalators.
- That's not uncommon.

You like feel of cashmere
on your skin.

- How are you doing this?
- That's right, you run away!

Run away from the truth!

Look, Dr Cox, I've been
doing a lot of thinking,

and I think the only reason you're
not down at that hospital right now

is that you're afraid.

I think you're right. I do.

That's partly because you've
really gotten to know me this year,

but mostly it's because, well...

...I told you that
I was afraid earlier.

Don't tell me you've come here
to reiterate things

I've already said, because
I know the things that I've said.

In fact, I'm the one who said them.

You've got to get back
in the game, Coxie.

''Coxie'' was a mistake.
Pretend I didn't say Coxie.

Get out.

Look, I... It boggles my mind
that you would just bail on a patient.

A patient is a stranger in a bed

that you can distance yourself
from when you need to.

Ben is my friend.

I'm gonna try to visit him
over the next couple of weeks,

but if I can't,
then that'll be very sad for me,

but really,
it'll just mean that I'm human.

Oh, and newbie,

please don't think that you've
come here because Ben needs me.

You're here because
you're scared

that you might have to rely
on yourself for the first time.

And that...

That is just the
saddest thing of all.

I think one of the most universal
human experiences is feeling alone.

You'd never know,
but there's tons of people

feeling the exact same way.

Maybe because you're
feeling completely abandoned.

Maybe you realised that you aren't
as self-sufficient as you thought.

Maybe you know you should've
handled something differently.

Or maybe you aren't
as good as you thought you were.

Either way, when you hit
that low point, you have a choice.

You can either wallow
in self-pity or you can suck it up.

It's your call.

You know what, Dr Wen? I don't care
if I'm not the best right now,

because I'm all about the upside,
and one day,

I'm going to own this place.
That's right. All of this here,

all of this right here

is gonna be
the Chris Turk Wing.

Dr Kelso, I wrote that evaluation.
It was me. Elliot didn't write a word.

But I would've written every word
if I'd had the courage...

...and the other-side-of-the-tracks
upbringing Carla did.

- You want to know what I think of you?
- You tell him.

You're mean.

As for me, I decided
that if Dr Cox couldn't do it,

well then, I would have
to be the one there for Ben.

- Oh, thank God.
- Goodbye, newbie.

So, you know, what's up?

You know, this and that.
Hey, I met someone.

- Really?
- Yeah.

But she took a stool sample
so I think she works here.

Redhead? Tall?

- Not on the staff, no.
- No?

What a strange young lady.

Are we just gonna sit around here

and make jokes the rest of the day?
Is that the drill?

Listen, if it makes you uncomfortable,
then you can just bolt again.

I think it's only fair you hear
my end of the story there.

All right, fine.

Aw, man, I love you,

but you're a complete wuss.

I guess I got a little scared.

Well, let me know
if there's anything I can do

to help you through this rough patch.

Give me a break. I'm not
good at this stuff. You know that.

- It's OK.
- I don't like the big conversations.

It's cool.

I've been thinking
about death a lot lately.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

You think it's like New York,
you know...

To most people it might
have seemed like nothing had changed.

Well, Dr Murphy?

- But it had a little.
- Go on.

Could it be lupus?

Good job, sport.

As for Ben, he actually responded
to the chemo and went into remission.

Hopefully he won't be back,
but who knows?

Still, that's not
what this story's about.

It's about the day I realised
that admitting we're not heroic

is when we're
the most heroic of all.

I guess he'll always...

...be a hero to me.

''Always be a hero to me.''

What a girl!

What else we got?

Theatre camp.

Bingo.

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