Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,063 --> 00:00:05,875
12 across: "2018 NBA
Rookie of the Year."
2
00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:08,659
(CHUCKLES) Claire-bear, pass
me that pencil, please.
3
00:00:08,684 --> 00:00:10,734
(CHUCKLES) Ah!
4
00:00:11,441 --> 00:00:14,188
This bad boy's going in pen, baby.
(CHUCKLES) Oh.
5
00:00:14,213 --> 00:00:17,311
I love it when you get all
confident during word games.
6
00:00:17,336 --> 00:00:17,891
Thank you.
7
00:00:17,916 --> 00:00:21,484
Uh, the 2018 NBA Rookie of the
Year is none other than...
8
00:00:21,509 --> 00:00:23,109
he's my favorite player...
9
00:00:23,134 --> 00:00:24,767
I want to name my child after him...
10
00:00:25,213 --> 00:00:26,102
Uh...
11
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,660
That might be moreof a conversation.
12
00:00:27,693 --> 00:00:29,168
Ben Simmons!
13
00:00:29,193 --> 00:00:30,906
You want to name our
kid after Ben Simmons?
14
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:31,408
Yeah.
15
00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:32,836
Ben Simmons Davis.
16
00:00:35,011 --> 00:00:36,404
Well, what if it's a girl?
17
00:00:36,429 --> 00:00:37,903
Ben Simmons Marie Davis.
18
00:00:37,928 --> 00:00:39,036
- (LAUGHS)
- Kind of like it.
19
00:00:39,061 --> 00:00:40,696
- It's doing something.
- (CAR DOOR SHUTS)
20
00:00:40,721 --> 00:00:42,529
Oh, that's Cooper. He's home early.
21
00:00:42,554 --> 00:00:44,725
Damn it. He's always walking
in on us doing something lame.
22
00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,166
I know. God.
23
00:00:46,191 --> 00:00:48,158
See, this is the kind of thing
that no one warns you about
24
00:00:48,183 --> 00:00:49,907
when you agree to allow
a world famous pop star
25
00:00:49,932 --> 00:00:50,812
to move in with you.
26
00:00:50,837 --> 00:00:52,229
- Okay. What do we do?
- Uh...
27
00:00:52,254 --> 00:00:53,662
I don't... um...
28
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:54,734
I don't... uh, just be cool.
29
00:00:54,759 --> 00:00:56,974
Yeah, just be cool.
30
00:00:58,039 --> 00:01:00,827
Uh... um...
31
00:01:07,421 --> 00:01:08,759
Hey, guys.
32
00:01:08,784 --> 00:01:10,390
- Hey, how you doing, man?
- COOPER: Yeah, all right.
33
00:01:10,415 --> 00:01:11,453
Hey, you know that
feeling when you know
34
00:01:11,478 --> 00:01:13,589
- you're in love right away?
- Oh, totally.
35
00:01:13,614 --> 00:01:14,594
Like, uh, when we first started
36
00:01:14,619 --> 00:01:15,738
mixing M&M's in with our popcorn.
37
00:01:15,763 --> 00:01:20,258
(CHUCKLES) So, who's the lucky lady?
38
00:01:20,283 --> 00:01:21,505
Vanessa Cole.
39
00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:23,470
That country singer who sings
"That Dog Ain't Right."
40
00:01:23,495 --> 00:01:25,363
- Oh, we love that song, right?
- CLAIRE: Yeah.
41
00:01:25,388 --> 00:01:28,976
♪ Oh, he'll chew your stuff
and bark all night ♪
42
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:32,170
♪ He'll bite your ankles
with all his might ♪
43
00:01:32,195 --> 00:01:34,181
♪ Yes, it's plain to see ♪
44
00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:36,853
BOTH: ♪ That dog ain't right. ♪
45
00:01:36,878 --> 00:01:38,944
(BOTH LAUGH)
46
00:01:41,784 --> 00:01:43,781
So, you're dating Vanessa.
47
00:01:44,928 --> 00:01:46,638
Well, before she goes on her fall tour,
48
00:01:46,663 --> 00:01:48,594
I want to surprise her with
a big, romantic gesture,
49
00:01:48,619 --> 00:01:50,601
but I'm kind of sick of my go-to moves.
50
00:01:50,626 --> 00:01:51,999
You know, like renting
out Dodger's Stadium
51
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,769
- to watch Field of Dreams...
- Right.
52
00:01:53,794 --> 00:01:55,469
Or eating a 12-course
meal at the Vatican.
53
00:01:55,494 --> 00:01:56,680
Of course.
54
00:01:57,039 --> 00:01:58,359
How did you pull that off?
55
00:01:58,384 --> 00:01:59,473
Oh, I know the owner.
56
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:01,741
God?
57
00:02:02,871 --> 00:02:04,055
So, I was thinking,
58
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,716
you guys have been together
for half my life...
59
00:02:06,741 --> 00:02:08,172
Feels like a hurtful
way to keep time.
60
00:02:08,197 --> 00:02:09,222
No.
61
00:02:10,312 --> 00:02:12,679
What big, romantic moves have
you done over the years?
62
00:02:12,771 --> 00:02:14,269
- Oh. (LAUGHS)
- Oh. (LAUGHS)
63
00:02:14,294 --> 00:02:15,799
- Don't even get us...
- Don't get us started.
64
00:02:15,824 --> 00:02:17,070
- Right?
- Because once we start,
65
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,156
we ain't stopping.
66
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:20,210
Yeah. There's so many, it's like, um...
67
00:02:20,235 --> 00:02:21,633
I mean, it just goes on and on and on.
68
00:02:21,658 --> 00:02:22,163
(ROLLS TONGUE)
69
00:02:22,188 --> 00:02:23,351
(BOTH STAMMERING)
70
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,476
Hmm. Well, there's that one... hmm...
71
00:02:25,825 --> 00:02:27,333
CLAIRE: Oh! Oh! Okay.
72
00:02:27,358 --> 00:02:28,824
- Get him. Let him know.
- Ooh. Okay. So...
73
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:32,753
Let him know. So, just last week,
74
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:36,031
Jake totally surprised me by
filling up my car with gas.
75
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:36,976
Mm-hmm.
76
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,863
'Cause everyone knows that
the way to a woman's heart
77
00:02:39,888 --> 00:02:41,746
is through her gas tank.
78
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,612
That's not a euphemism.
79
00:02:46,481 --> 00:02:47,514
JAKE: Oh, I know.
80
00:02:47,539 --> 00:02:49,894
Um, like, uh, Claire,
she always leaves me
81
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,694
cute, little, sexy notes
82
00:02:51,719 --> 00:02:54,367
like this one I found in
my, uh, briefcase today.
83
00:02:54,392 --> 00:02:56,798
(CHUCKLES)
84
00:02:56,823 --> 00:02:59,776
(SEXY VOICE): "Jake,
please buy lightbulbs."
85
00:03:02,869 --> 00:03:06,058
I mean, I can't be the only one
who's getting goose bumps. Huh?
86
00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:07,558
Look at that. (CHUCKLES)
87
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:10,007
You know what? We're past
all that stuff. You know?
88
00:03:10,032 --> 00:03:11,757
I mean, I don't have to
prove I love someone
89
00:03:11,782 --> 00:03:14,148
when I regularly pick up their
prescription toothpaste.
90
00:03:14,173 --> 00:03:15,143
Aw, yeah.
91
00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:16,125
That's right, baby.
92
00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:18,008
(INHALES)
93
00:03:19,761 --> 00:03:21,255
(COUGHS)
94
00:03:23,491 --> 00:03:25,157
It's working.
95
00:03:25,182 --> 00:03:27,704
It's working and, uh, so are we.
96
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:30,611
All right, well, let me know
97
00:03:30,636 --> 00:03:31,693
if you think of anything.
98
00:03:31,718 --> 00:03:33,844
- All right.
- (LAUGHS)
99
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,625
You know, babe, I didn't want to
embarrass you in front of Cooper,
100
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,219
but that toothpaste is not working.
101
00:03:43,648 --> 00:03:45,625
♪ Imagine me and you ♪
102
00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:46,934
♪ I do ♪
103
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,643
♪ I think about you day and night ♪
104
00:03:49,668 --> 00:03:51,530
♪ It's only right ♪
105
00:03:51,555 --> 00:03:54,650
♪ So happy together ♪
106
00:03:54,675 --> 00:03:56,632
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
107
00:03:56,657 --> 00:03:57,951
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. ♪
108
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:02,656
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
109
00:04:05,039 --> 00:04:06,735
I'd like to propose a toast.
110
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:07,949
Yay.
111
00:04:08,883 --> 00:04:10,483
To my beautiful wife
112
00:04:10,508 --> 00:04:12,961
who makes me excited to
wake up every day. Aw.
113
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,218
Happy birthday, baby.
114
00:04:14,243 --> 00:04:15,963
Ah, happy birthday.
115
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,424
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Super sweet.
116
00:04:18,449 --> 00:04:20,916
Cooper says happy birthday, as well.
117
00:04:20,941 --> 00:04:22,540
He'd be here, but he
rented out SeaWorld
118
00:04:22,565 --> 00:04:24,556
so he and Vanessa could
watch Finding Nemo.
119
00:04:24,581 --> 00:04:26,992
Do you think he just doesn't
know about movie theaters?
120
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:30,872
- That seems a little extravagant.
- CLAIRE: Right?
121
00:04:30,897 --> 00:04:33,182
It's hard not to feel
like unromantic losers
122
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:34,416
when you're living with a celebrity
123
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,810
who, for Valentine's Day,
124
00:04:35,835 --> 00:04:39,570
bought his girlfriend a panda
holding a box of chocolates.
125
00:04:39,595 --> 00:04:41,153
An actual panda.
126
00:04:42,551 --> 00:04:44,473
I mean, is it okay that
we don't do those things?
127
00:04:44,498 --> 00:04:45,865
Of course it is.
128
00:04:45,890 --> 00:04:47,252
That big, showy stuff
is for new couples
129
00:04:47,277 --> 00:04:49,636
who don't know what true love is.
130
00:04:49,661 --> 00:04:50,395
GERALD: I don't know.
131
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,874
I think every once in a while
132
00:04:51,899 --> 00:04:53,659
a big move can be nice.
133
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,650
Trust me, honey, a small,
quiet dinner with my family,
134
00:04:55,675 --> 00:04:57,015
that's all I need.
135
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,407
Right? I mean, married
people don't need to do
136
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:01,403
- that over-the-top, crazy stuff.
- (GASPS)
137
00:05:01,428 --> 00:05:03,387
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
138
00:05:03,412 --> 00:05:05,432
- Daddy, is this for me?
- Yes.
139
00:05:05,457 --> 00:05:09,410
♪ My Bonnie lies over the ocean ♪
140
00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:13,728
♪ My Bonnie lies over the sea... ♪
141
00:05:13,753 --> 00:05:15,258
What the hell is this?
142
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:18,557
Oh, there's Cliff and Betty. June!
143
00:05:18,582 --> 00:05:20,920
Bonnie, I know we've missed a
lot of big events together
144
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,493
while we were working,
so I decided to gather
145
00:05:22,518 --> 00:05:24,791
our best friends and our family
146
00:05:24,816 --> 00:05:25,847
to show you just how much
147
00:05:25,872 --> 00:05:28,224
your life and your love means to me.
148
00:05:28,249 --> 00:05:31,623
BOTH: ♪ My Bonnie lies over the ocean ♪
149
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:37,110
♪ 'Cause there's only
one Bonnie for me. ♪
150
00:05:39,813 --> 00:05:41,992
(SQUEALS)
151
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:43,601
Oh, I was wrong, Claire.
152
00:05:43,626 --> 00:05:45,968
This is what true love is.
153
00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:54,053
(SIGHS)
154
00:05:54,078 --> 00:05:55,669
Claire-bear, we're good, right?
155
00:05:55,694 --> 00:05:57,030
Our fire's still burning?
156
00:05:57,055 --> 00:05:58,722
Yeah, of course it is.
157
00:06:01,814 --> 00:06:04,737
No, I mean, when Cooper
does a grand gesture,
158
00:06:04,762 --> 00:06:06,073
it's one thing, but now your parents?
159
00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:08,981
No, babe, we are en fuego.
160
00:06:09,006 --> 00:06:10,680
Okay?
161
00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:12,839
We just need to accept that our fire
162
00:06:12,864 --> 00:06:14,805
is more of a controlled burn.
163
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,359
I guess that sounds good.
164
00:06:18,384 --> 00:06:21,333
Yeah, we're-we're a safe
and sensible flame. Right?
165
00:06:21,496 --> 00:06:23,621
We're like, uh, carbon
monoxide poisoning.
166
00:06:23,646 --> 00:06:26,562
You can't detect it, but
it'll take your breath away.
167
00:06:26,841 --> 00:06:29,514
Definitely. You know, it's
like those fake candles
168
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:31,511
that they have at The
Cheesecake Factory.
169
00:06:31,797 --> 00:06:34,965
- Consistent, yet electric.
- Yep.
170
00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:38,630
(LISPING): Yeah. You know, I just...
171
00:06:38,655 --> 00:06:40,550
I just want to make sure
we're still passionate.
172
00:06:40,575 --> 00:06:41,983
You know?
173
00:06:42,008 --> 00:06:44,123
(LISPING): Sweetie,
we are so passionate.
174
00:06:44,148 --> 00:06:46,215
It's all good.
175
00:06:46,298 --> 00:06:48,895
Oh, wait, stop, babe.
We forgot to kiss.
176
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,122
(SIGHS)
177
00:06:50,238 --> 00:06:52,526
Well, let's just have a
makeup kiss at breakfast.
178
00:06:52,551 --> 00:06:55,957
Okay? Mm. Good night.
179
00:06:57,411 --> 00:06:59,200
Sleep tight, sweetie.
180
00:06:59,225 --> 00:07:01,261
Okay.
181
00:07:08,551 --> 00:07:11,339
I have been married to
Claire for four years now,
182
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:12,664
and I just want to do something big
183
00:07:12,689 --> 00:07:14,539
to remind her how much I love her.
184
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:17,456
So what's, like, a cool,
185
00:07:17,481 --> 00:07:20,105
over-the-top romantic move I could do?
186
00:07:20,411 --> 00:07:22,418
Do you want the name of my stadium guy?
187
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,078
I can't rent out Dodger Stadium.
188
00:07:28,027 --> 00:07:30,006
Are you not a baseball fan?
189
00:07:30,031 --> 00:07:31,835
Eh...
190
00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:35,161
Yeah, dude, that's the only
speed bump in that plan.
191
00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:39,297
- What about a private flight to Fiji?
- All right.
192
00:07:39,322 --> 00:07:40,807
Listen, you are at a Bentley,
193
00:07:40,832 --> 00:07:42,747
I'm-a need you at a bus pass, okay?
194
00:07:45,684 --> 00:07:48,778
What is the most affordable
grand gesture you've done?
195
00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:51,465
Well, I got my last girlfriend's
name tattooed on my body.
196
00:07:51,490 --> 00:07:52,989
Oh, Claire loves tattoos!
197
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,277
Ah, but that might only be
when they're on The Rock.
198
00:07:55,465 --> 00:07:56,831
Dwayne is such a sweet guy.
199
00:07:56,856 --> 00:07:57,481
Why don't I text him
200
00:07:57,506 --> 00:07:59,043
to see if he can take
Claire on a picnic.
201
00:07:59,068 --> 00:08:00,161
No!
202
00:08:02,104 --> 00:08:03,697
No!
203
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:08,959
Sorry. No. I...
204
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,309
I don't want that.
205
00:08:10,469 --> 00:08:13,464
But that tattoo idea
is perfect, you know.
206
00:08:13,489 --> 00:08:16,768
It-It's sexy, it's permanent, you know.
207
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,207
Plus, Claire would never see it coming
208
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,639
because she knows I'm
afraid of needles. (LAUGHS)
209
00:08:22,749 --> 00:08:26,550
- (NEEDLES BUZZING)
- Ahh!
210
00:08:27,059 --> 00:08:30,284
Hey, uh, what are we talking
on the pain scale here, huh?
211
00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:31,132
It's more of a tickle.
212
00:08:31,157 --> 00:08:34,302
(SCREAMING)
213
00:08:34,327 --> 00:08:35,967
Ooh, tickly.
214
00:08:36,481 --> 00:08:37,902
So, Jake, where'd you like
215
00:08:37,927 --> 00:08:39,669
to get your tattoo today?
216
00:08:39,694 --> 00:08:42,283
Uh, probably a cleaner
room, that'd be nice,
217
00:08:42,308 --> 00:08:45,134
uh, maybe somewhere with
a little more privacy.
218
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,371
He means where on your body.
219
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,550
Oh.
220
00:08:48,575 --> 00:08:52,178
Well, as Captain Hook says
with his treasure maps,
221
00:08:52,203 --> 00:08:53,525
"Flex marks the spot."
222
00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:54,637
Huh?
223
00:08:54,662 --> 00:08:56,466
He wants it on his shoulder.
224
00:08:56,491 --> 00:08:58,919
Jake, are you absolutely
sure about this?
225
00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:00,487
Yeah, I am, I'm-I'm sure.
226
00:09:00,512 --> 00:09:02,759
Uh, you know, I'm-I'm
crazy about Claire.
227
00:09:02,784 --> 00:09:04,383
I want to do something crazy for her,
228
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,983
something big, something
romantic, you know?
229
00:09:07,008 --> 00:09:08,120
Got it.
230
00:09:08,145 --> 00:09:11,536
I can make your junk
look like a dragon.
231
00:09:12,746 --> 00:09:16,251
Uh, great brainstorming sesh,
buddy, that's-that's nice,
232
00:09:16,276 --> 00:09:18,502
but, um, I was thinking
something a little less scary
233
00:09:18,527 --> 00:09:20,584
and a little more, uh, swirly.
234
00:09:20,609 --> 00:09:22,070
You're the boss.
235
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,494
Okay, just raise your finger
236
00:09:24,519 --> 00:09:26,483
if you need me to stop for any reason.
237
00:09:26,508 --> 00:09:28,673
(CHUCKLES) The only finger
I'll be raising is my thumb
238
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:30,629
because hell yeah, dude.
239
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:34,111
- (NEEDLE BUZZING)
- (SCREAMING)
240
00:09:34,136 --> 00:09:35,875
Ha-ha!
241
00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:39,317
It tickles! You were right!
242
00:09:39,342 --> 00:09:41,795
It tickles so bad!
243
00:09:52,434 --> 00:09:54,565
Oh, Jake, guess what,
244
00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:57,045
there was a crossword
clue about the IRS.
245
00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:58,870
It was ten letters, started with a "C."
246
00:09:58,895 --> 00:10:00,292
Compulsory.
247
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,020
Where have you been?
248
00:10:07,045 --> 00:10:09,081
Well, I had lunch with Coop-dog,
249
00:10:09,106 --> 00:10:10,956
went and picked up your lightbulbs.
250
00:10:10,981 --> 00:10:12,433
Oh.
251
00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:14,959
Oh, and I, uh, slammed
a little body art.
252
00:10:14,984 --> 00:10:16,649
Wait, what?
253
00:10:16,788 --> 00:10:18,764
Oh, you're talking about
my "champ stamp"?
254
00:10:19,988 --> 00:10:23,388
Jake, is that a freaking tattoo?
Oh, my God, well, let me see it.
255
00:10:23,413 --> 00:10:27,075
Easy, easy. No touching the dancers.
256
00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:32,144
He said I'm not supposed to take
the bandages off yet, but, uh,
257
00:10:32,169 --> 00:10:36,139
tat-rats like us don't
play by the rules, so...
258
00:10:36,164 --> 00:10:38,892
(MUTTERING)
259
00:10:41,445 --> 00:10:43,617
Ready? Here, ready?
260
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,377
Ah, just peel that...
261
00:10:47,402 --> 00:10:50,168
(MOANS)
262
00:10:58,912 --> 00:11:01,282
Woo. (LAUGHS)
263
00:11:02,426 --> 00:11:04,499
Jake, aw!
264
00:11:06,276 --> 00:11:08,910
You got my name tattooed on your arm.
265
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,268
Yup.
266
00:11:10,411 --> 00:11:11,778
Did it hurt?
267
00:11:11,803 --> 00:11:14,402
I screamed so much they made me
put my own socks in my mouth.
268
00:11:15,627 --> 00:11:18,769
Oh, my God, well, this is the
most romantic thing ever.
269
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:24,292
- But...
- But what?
270
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,489
Nothing. It's just...
271
00:11:26,514 --> 00:11:29,989
I don't know, this is so sweet,
and it just makes me feel bad
272
00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:32,199
'cause I've never done anything
big like this for you.
273
00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:34,996
Sea bass, don't you dare.
274
00:11:40,025 --> 00:11:41,686
I may be painted,
275
00:11:41,711 --> 00:11:44,164
but you're the masterpiece
around here, okay?
276
00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:48,294
(LAUGHS) Okay. Ah...
277
00:11:48,319 --> 00:11:51,285
You know, I've never hooked
up with a tattoo guy before.
278
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,973
Oh, well, all that's about
to change because, uh,
279
00:11:53,998 --> 00:11:55,896
as they say in Space Jam,
280
00:11:55,921 --> 00:11:57,922
"Y'all ready for this?"
281
00:12:01,715 --> 00:12:03,441
Well, I'm excited to help, Claire,
282
00:12:03,466 --> 00:12:05,118
but just because Jake did
something over the top
283
00:12:05,143 --> 00:12:06,865
doesn't mean you have to as well.
284
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:10,639
Mm, you have no idea how
marriage works, do you?
285
00:12:11,824 --> 00:12:14,182
I just felt so special
when I saw his tattoo,
286
00:12:14,223 --> 00:12:16,504
I want to make sure that
Jake feels the same way.
287
00:12:16,529 --> 00:12:19,041
Okay, well, I usually start
with something they like
288
00:12:19,066 --> 00:12:21,278
and then build from it.
So what's Jake into?
289
00:12:21,463 --> 00:12:24,464
Um, well, he is really into
290
00:12:24,489 --> 00:12:27,429
food, sleeping, playing ball...
291
00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:30,096
Oh, my God, I married
a Golden Retriever.
292
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,379
You, uh, you mentioned food,
293
00:12:36,404 --> 00:12:39,561
would, uh, would Jake like to
cook a meal with Gordon Ramsey?
294
00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:40,851
If you pay extra
295
00:12:40,876 --> 00:12:42,317
he yells at you until you
feel like absolute garbage,
296
00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:43,492
it's pretty great.
297
00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:47,132
Uh, well, he's-he's not
into gourmet food.
298
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:50,899
Okay, um, what about a sparring
session with Conor McGregor?
299
00:12:51,090 --> 00:12:53,917
If you ask nicely he'll knock
you out, it's pretty great.
300
00:12:54,434 --> 00:12:56,339
Are all these people in your phone?
301
00:12:56,364 --> 00:12:57,411
Yeah, these are just the people
302
00:12:57,436 --> 00:12:59,276
I'm playing Words With
Friends against right now.
303
00:12:59,798 --> 00:13:02,739
Okay, give me that thing. I
need to see your contacts.
304
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,354
Oh, my God, you're
friends with The Rock?
305
00:13:06,379 --> 00:13:07,534
(LAUGHS)
306
00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:08,658
Oh, my God...
307
00:13:08,683 --> 00:13:09,586
No!
308
00:13:13,397 --> 00:13:15,603
No. No, um,
309
00:13:15,932 --> 00:13:18,015
yeah, I don't think
Jake would like that.
310
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,505
(CHUCKLES)
311
00:13:26,530 --> 00:13:29,704
Whoa, man, nice ink, bro.
312
00:13:29,729 --> 00:13:31,681
It's killer. I'm a bit of a
313
00:13:31,706 --> 00:13:33,245
squid myself.
314
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:36,322
Thinking about getting a whole sleeve.
315
00:13:36,347 --> 00:13:37,450
That looks bad.
316
00:13:37,475 --> 00:13:38,793
Yeah, badass.
317
00:13:39,424 --> 00:13:42,742
I heard guys like us can't be
buried in a Jewish cemetery.
318
00:13:43,036 --> 00:13:44,904
No, I'm saying that looks nasty.
319
00:13:44,929 --> 00:13:48,196
I'm a dirty dog, through and through.
320
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,337
Sir, I'm trying to tell you
321
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:53,227
your tattoo is horribly infected.
322
00:13:54,848 --> 00:13:56,876
So that's not just muscle
juice leaking out of it?
323
00:14:02,354 --> 00:14:04,454
(WINCING)
324
00:14:04,479 --> 00:14:05,592
Stop.
325
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,229
Jake, I-I'm not trying to scare you,
326
00:14:08,254 --> 00:14:09,812
but this looks very serious.
327
00:14:09,837 --> 00:14:12,274
That infection is verging on necrosis.
328
00:14:12,299 --> 00:14:13,361
I'm sorry, I just don't see
329
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,518
a world where we're not amputating.
330
00:14:14,543 --> 00:14:16,746
(HIGH-PITCHED): No... put it down!
What are you doing?!
331
00:14:16,771 --> 00:14:18,518
Hey, hey! What's going on?
332
00:14:18,543 --> 00:14:20,736
(BOTH LAUGH) Oh, my God.
333
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,638
Your face. Your face.
334
00:14:25,663 --> 00:14:28,886
(IMITATING YELPS)
335
00:14:29,084 --> 00:14:31,621
It's for the lime, Jake.
336
00:14:32,892 --> 00:14:35,252
- BONNIE: Oh, my God.
- Don't worry, buddy.
337
00:14:35,277 --> 00:14:36,455
We're just gonna give
you this antibiotic
338
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,596
and it should clear it
up in a week or so.
339
00:14:38,621 --> 00:14:42,335
But I have to ask, Jake, why on
Earth would you get a tattoo?
340
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,913
Well, because I thought
only new couples
341
00:14:43,938 --> 00:14:45,596
had to do these grand gestures.
342
00:14:45,621 --> 00:14:47,306
But then, you two started doing them.
343
00:14:47,474 --> 00:14:49,146
Well, technically, only Gerald did one.
344
00:14:49,171 --> 00:14:52,215
Oh, I repaid the favor.
Nothing's for free, Jake.
345
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,982
(CHUCKLES)
346
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:01,011
(RETCHES)
347
00:15:01,036 --> 00:15:03,829
All right, I guess I should
probably sterilize this,
348
00:15:03,854 --> 00:15:05,188
being... all right,
349
00:15:05,213 --> 00:15:07,142
there we go.
350
00:15:07,862 --> 00:15:09,914
Other arm, other arm, please.
351
00:15:09,939 --> 00:15:11,858
Other arm. All right, very well.
352
00:15:12,446 --> 00:15:13,947
Could you give me a countdown, please?
353
00:15:13,972 --> 00:15:16,603
Oh, I wish I could, but
I'm not a pediatrician.
354
00:15:17,190 --> 00:15:18,447
All right, don't be surprised
355
00:15:18,472 --> 00:15:20,274
if the antibiotics make
your arm a little sore.
356
00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:22,469
And keep washing that area,
or we'll have to, you know...
357
00:15:22,494 --> 00:15:23,592
(SCREAMS)
358
00:15:23,617 --> 00:15:25,356
(BOTH LAUGH)
359
00:15:25,619 --> 00:15:27,184
Bonnie, Bonnie.
360
00:15:27,209 --> 00:15:28,816
He fell for it again.
361
00:15:31,299 --> 00:15:32,699
Hey, Claire, you home?
362
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,323
Jake. Where have you been?
363
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,259
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
364
00:15:36,284 --> 00:15:38,004
Uh, I-I...
365
00:15:38,029 --> 00:15:39,681
Got a little infection
going on in my tat.
366
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:40,199
What?
367
00:15:40,224 --> 00:15:42,967
Yeah, my arms are so sore, I
can barely move them both.
368
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,881
Man, this is awful timing.
Well, I'm not supposed to say,
369
00:15:44,906 --> 00:15:46,840
but Claire's planned an
awesome surprise for you.
370
00:15:46,865 --> 00:15:48,018
Really? What is it?
371
00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:49,276
Check your phone.
372
00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:51,099
(GRUNTING): Okay.
373
00:15:51,796 --> 00:15:54,007
"Dr. Dunk," that's me,
374
00:15:55,697 --> 00:15:58,359
"Grab your keys and make a
fast break to Henley Park
375
00:15:58,384 --> 00:15:59,771
or you'll be called for a foul."
376
00:15:59,796 --> 00:16:01,341
This is basketball-related?
377
00:16:01,366 --> 00:16:03,223
Yeah. All I can say is that
Claire's really excited
378
00:16:03,248 --> 00:16:04,969
to do this grand gesture for you.
379
00:16:04,994 --> 00:16:07,477
Ah, nice. I mean, I
can't play basketball,
380
00:16:07,502 --> 00:16:09,436
but I might as well drive
down there and thank her.
381
00:16:09,461 --> 00:16:11,469
Grab my keys, man. Let's go. (CHUCKLES)
382
00:16:11,494 --> 00:16:13,149
Ha, ha.
383
00:16:17,463 --> 00:16:20,971
You know what? You know what...
You steer, I'll do the pedals.
384
00:16:25,113 --> 00:16:26,451
CLAIRE: Jake!
385
00:16:26,476 --> 00:16:28,473
Oh, I'm so glad you're here. What...
386
00:16:28,498 --> 00:16:30,389
Why are you walking like
you've been lassoed?
387
00:16:32,269 --> 00:16:34,246
Can I talk to you for a
second over here, please?
388
00:16:34,271 --> 00:16:35,949
Over here...
389
00:16:35,974 --> 00:16:39,160
Yeah? Yeah, uh, listen, um,
390
00:16:39,185 --> 00:16:42,337
I love that you planned this
grand gesture for me, but, um...
391
00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:45,161
My champ stamp got infected, and, uh,
392
00:16:45,186 --> 00:16:47,524
I can't play basketball today.
393
00:16:48,202 --> 00:16:49,401
Seriously?
394
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,859
- Yeah.
- (SIGHS) That stinks.
395
00:16:51,884 --> 00:16:55,246
Well, you know how you've always
wanted to play with NBA players?
396
00:16:55,701 --> 00:16:56,939
Yes.
397
00:16:56,964 --> 00:17:00,980
I kind of got you into a charity
tournament with your favorite.
398
00:17:02,452 --> 00:17:04,156
It's Ben Simmons.
399
00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:08,038
(SQUEAKING): What? He's...
aww, come on.
400
00:17:08,063 --> 00:17:11,318
What? Is it...? How did you do this?
401
00:17:11,343 --> 00:17:12,476
Uh, Cooper knows him.
402
00:17:12,501 --> 00:17:14,526
Yeah, I didn't even know
Ben played basketball.
403
00:17:14,551 --> 00:17:16,212
But if he's as good at this
game as he is at Scrabble,
404
00:17:16,237 --> 00:17:17,204
you're gonna be in great shape.
405
00:17:17,229 --> 00:17:19,384
(GROANS)
406
00:17:19,774 --> 00:17:21,134
Hey, Coop.
407
00:17:21,159 --> 00:17:22,753
- Hey, man.
- Hey, Claire.
408
00:17:22,778 --> 00:17:24,903
What's up? What's up, Ben Simmons?
409
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,288
OK. So, um, anyway, um,
I'm so sorry, Ben,
410
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:29,895
but I think we're gonna
have to take a rain check,
411
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,853
'cause my husband's
in pretty serious...
412
00:17:31,878 --> 00:17:33,601
Awe of his amazing wife.
413
00:17:33,626 --> 00:17:35,225
We doing this, man.
414
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:36,977
We gonna do this.
415
00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:39,171
CLAIRE: Okay, you got this, babe!
416
00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:41,962
All right, guys, let's have some fun.
417
00:17:42,416 --> 00:17:45,635
♪ Lonely bird, broken
wings, but I still fly ♪
418
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,960
♪ Ooh, change up,
hunger never came up ♪
419
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:50,910
♪ From Oakland out to Philly,
it's the same love ♪
420
00:17:50,935 --> 00:17:52,664
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
421
00:17:52,689 --> 00:17:54,610
♪ They got to call me Mr. T... ♪
422
00:17:54,635 --> 00:17:56,563
It's all good. Just getting
used to the speed.
423
00:17:56,588 --> 00:17:58,823
♪ Chasing history, 20 years from now ♪
424
00:17:58,848 --> 00:18:00,696
♪ The generation will
still mention me ♪
425
00:18:01,658 --> 00:18:03,884
- Oh...
- ♪ We play to win ♪
426
00:18:03,909 --> 00:18:06,463
♪ Making sure I don't
say this all again... ♪
427
00:18:06,488 --> 00:18:08,523
I thought you played college ball.
428
00:18:08,548 --> 00:18:10,211
That was a pass, bro.
429
00:18:10,236 --> 00:18:12,610
Well, I, uh, really thought
that Jake was gonna be able
430
00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:14,446
to play without his
arms, but it turns out,
431
00:18:14,471 --> 00:18:16,435
I didn't know what basketball was.
432
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:21,929
Hey. I love you, babe. You got this.
433
00:18:24,235 --> 00:18:26,094
All right, Ben, let's huddle up.
434
00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:28,509
Do we have to? Your shoulder
smells like really old turkey.
435
00:18:28,534 --> 00:18:29,769
Listen, I got an idea.
436
00:18:29,794 --> 00:18:30,893
We're gonna win this game with some
437
00:18:30,918 --> 00:18:33,003
good old-fashioned fundamentals.
438
00:18:34,754 --> 00:18:37,542
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
439
00:18:38,086 --> 00:18:39,696
Go with what you know, bro.
440
00:18:40,717 --> 00:18:42,982
(CHEERING)
441
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,947
(SCREAMS)
442
00:18:55,907 --> 00:18:58,675
(SIGHS) Today was so
amazing, Claire-Bear.
443
00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:01,634
- Yeah? Oh...
- (GRUNTS)
444
00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:05,252
Get your butt in here for a hug.
445
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:07,520
- Oh...
- (SHOUTS)
446
00:19:07,954 --> 00:19:09,749
Do it... Oh!
447
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,874
Okay. (CHUCKLES) Right?
448
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:12,790
Worked out well. Yeah.
449
00:19:12,815 --> 00:19:14,014
Uh... pleasure doing
business with you. Yeah.
450
00:19:14,039 --> 00:19:15,579
Yes, yes.
451
00:19:15,604 --> 00:19:19,017
Ah, I'm gonna have to think of
something huge to top this.
452
00:19:19,042 --> 00:19:22,188
Uh, is it crazy that I don't
want another grand gesture?
453
00:19:22,213 --> 00:19:24,725
I mean, they're sweet and
all, but I kind of prefer
454
00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:25,916
when you just do little things,
455
00:19:25,941 --> 00:19:28,425
like, how you always
fill up my car with gas.
456
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,188
Or those cute little
notesyou always leave me.
457
00:19:30,213 --> 00:19:30,797
Yeah.
458
00:19:30,822 --> 00:19:32,155
Or like how you always
bring an extra spoon
459
00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:33,411
whenever you eat ice cream.
460
00:19:33,436 --> 00:19:34,568
Yeah, exactly.
461
00:19:34,593 --> 00:19:36,660
They're more like bland
gestures, but...
462
00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:38,205
- Mm.
- They're better.
463
00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:39,222
Because that means that we're thinking
464
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,046
about each other all the time.
465
00:19:41,071 --> 00:19:42,639
Totally. Like, I'm with you right now,
466
00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:44,308
but I still miss you whenever I blink.
467
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:45,267
Claire, where'd you...
468
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:47,060
Oh, my God, Claire, I can't...
469
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,350
Claire, where'd you...
Oh, there you are.
470
00:19:48,375 --> 00:19:50,354
- (LAUGHS)
- Oh, my God.
471
00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:52,633
You guys are geniuses.
472
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,219
- We're listening.
- Go on.
473
00:19:54,244 --> 00:19:56,344
I kept trying to surprise
Vanessa with a big move,
474
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:57,684
but none of them were having an impact.
475
00:19:57,709 --> 00:19:59,961
So I thought, "What would
Jake and Claire do?"
476
00:19:59,993 --> 00:20:02,961
And I filled up her gas tank and
she went absolutely nuts for it.
477
00:20:02,986 --> 00:20:05,095
Oh, my God. Well, that's amazing.
478
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,632
Yeah, I know. And I got to
say, I'm-I'm really grateful
479
00:20:07,657 --> 00:20:09,720
for you guys letting me stay here.
480
00:20:10,227 --> 00:20:12,046
You're really onto something
with this normal life.
481
00:20:12,071 --> 00:20:14,209
(JAKE AND CLAIRE CHUCKLE)
482
00:20:14,623 --> 00:20:17,390
Well, uh, we're happy to
have you here, Coops.
483
00:20:17,415 --> 00:20:18,725
And, uh, take it from us:
484
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,384
sometimes $40 of gas is all it takes.
485
00:20:21,409 --> 00:20:24,721
$40? I'm gonna need the
number of your jet fuel guy.
486
00:20:26,108 --> 00:20:28,290
Oh. Oh, you filled up her plane?
487
00:20:28,315 --> 00:20:30,496
Yeah. Different situation.
488
00:20:31,038 --> 00:20:32,864
Yeah, she said fueling
up her private jet
489
00:20:32,889 --> 00:20:35,053
was the most thoughtful thing
anyone's ever done for her.
490
00:20:35,078 --> 00:20:37,600
Thanks. $40, ha...
491
00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:39,242
- Oh.
- Ah.
492
00:20:39,267 --> 00:20:41,006
(PHONE BUZZING)
493
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,528
Cooper's phone.
494
00:20:42,553 --> 00:20:44,510
Uh... (CLATTERING)
495
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,406
Oh... oh, my God. It's The Rock.
496
00:20:46,431 --> 00:20:47,568
Oh, my God. Are you serious?
497
00:20:47,593 --> 00:20:48,793
- Yeah! Look.
- Can I see that?
498
00:20:48,818 --> 00:20:50,977
- Ooh, wow.
- (SHOUTS, GROANS)
36184
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof