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♪ I'm just a girl in love ♪
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00:00:05,984 --> 00:00:07,650
♪ La-la-la,
lovey-dove ♪
3
00:00:07,652 --> 00:00:10,403
♪ I can't be held
responsible for my actions ♪
4
00:00:10,405 --> 00:00:11,938
♪ She's an ingenue ♪
5
00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,073
♪ I have no underlying
issues to address ♪
6
00:00:14,075 --> 00:00:16,609
♪ I'm certifiably cute
and adorably obsessed ♪
7
00:00:16,611 --> 00:00:18,444
♪ They say love makes you crazy ♪
8
00:00:18,446 --> 00:00:20,696
♪ Therefore, you
can't call her crazy ♪
9
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♪ 'Cause when you call her crazy ♪
10
00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:25,034
♪ You're just calling her in love. ♪
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Blam!
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-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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00:00:30,817 --> 00:00:32,675
Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
14
00:00:32,677 --> 00:00:34,794
I was in New York. I ran into Josh.
15
00:00:34,796 --> 00:00:36,045
He made me feel warm inside,
16
00:00:36,047 --> 00:00:37,465
like glitter was exploding inside me.
17
00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:39,966
Then I moved here. Josh and Rebecca are
18
00:00:39,968 --> 00:00:41,717
having sex and basically
living together.
19
00:00:41,719 --> 00:00:42,885
What?!
20
00:00:42,887 --> 00:00:45,188
I am applying to law school!
21
00:00:47,225 --> 00:00:48,057
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes!
22
00:00:48,059 --> 00:00:51,110
My dreams might actually come true.
23
00:00:51,112 --> 00:00:52,228
I got a DUI, spent a night in jail,
24
00:00:52,230 --> 00:00:53,729
turns out I'm an alcoholic.
25
00:00:53,731 --> 00:00:55,364
I've been going to meetings
and I'm trying to stay sober.
26
00:00:55,366 --> 00:00:57,617
That's it. Bingo, bango, done. Beers?
27
00:00:57,619 --> 00:00:59,068
What's this? Okay, just
28
00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:01,070
a simple contract, laying out
the terms of our friendship.
29
00:01:01,072 --> 00:01:02,288
It stipulates that my services
30
00:01:02,290 --> 00:01:03,873
as a friend are limited
31
00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:05,241
to consultation and support
and exclude shenanigans.
32
00:01:05,243 --> 00:01:06,826
Rebecca, I'm very glad
33
00:01:06,828 --> 00:01:07,960
you're welcoming the opportunity
34
00:01:07,962 --> 00:01:09,161
to work on yourself.
35
00:01:10,081 --> 00:01:11,547
The reason I got a DUI
36
00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:14,050
is because I was driving
over the next morning
37
00:01:14,052 --> 00:01:15,418
to tell you that I loved you.
38
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:17,503
- Oh, my God.
- You and Josh...
39
00:01:17,505 --> 00:01:19,088
you're happy, right?
40
00:01:19,090 --> 00:01:20,139
And he treats you well?
41
00:01:20,141 --> 00:01:23,009
Um... yes.
42
00:01:23,094 --> 00:01:25,595
I deserve to be with someone
who treats me well.
43
00:01:25,597 --> 00:01:27,263
Okay.
44
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,345
Is that Greg's sweatshirt?
45
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:41,142
Mmm, I'm so hungry.
I can't wait for that pizza.
46
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,944
Yeah, me neither. I'm starving.
47
00:01:42,946 --> 00:01:44,862
Mm.
48
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,053
Greg?
49
00:01:46,697 --> 00:01:49,540
- Greg, what are you doing?
- Yeah, what are you doing, Greg?
50
00:01:49,565 --> 00:01:52,282
Pizza in the bedroom, that's crazy!
51
00:01:53,193 --> 00:01:54,442
I hope you brought napkins.
52
00:01:55,063 --> 00:01:57,880
- Oh.
- Oh, come here, silly head.
53
00:02:02,674 --> 00:02:03,840
God, this is great.
54
00:02:03,842 --> 00:02:06,158
I was so torn between you two.
55
00:02:06,189 --> 00:02:08,440
I mean, Josh, I've loved
you since I was 16 years old,
56
00:02:08,442 --> 00:02:10,659
and, Greg, I thought you
were too damaged to love me,
57
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:11,943
but now that you're in recovery,
58
00:02:11,945 --> 00:02:13,912
you seem like a really
viable alternative.
59
00:02:13,914 --> 00:02:16,164
It's so great now that
I don't have to choose.
60
00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:17,866
Isn't it awesome?
61
00:02:17,868 --> 00:02:19,534
Hey, before we dive into the 'za,
62
00:02:19,536 --> 00:02:21,503
how about a three-way spoon sesh?
63
00:02:21,505 --> 00:02:23,955
- Great idea!
- Yay!
64
00:02:26,033 --> 00:02:27,991
Hey, who gets to have
sex with me tonight?
65
00:02:28,016 --> 00:02:30,300
You guys want to arm-wrestle for it?
66
00:02:31,587 --> 00:02:32,714
- Sure!
- Sure!
67
00:02:32,739 --> 00:02:35,064
Okay. Kiss time.
68
00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:37,469
That's how it works when you have
69
00:02:37,471 --> 00:02:39,137
two significant others at the same time.
70
00:02:39,428 --> 00:02:40,470
Right?
71
00:02:42,134 --> 00:02:45,454
I was on BuzzFeed and I saw
a listicle about polyamory,
72
00:02:45,869 --> 00:02:47,658
and it described it as
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00:02:47,683 --> 00:02:49,733
the ethical and responsible
practice and philosophy
74
00:02:49,758 --> 00:02:51,470
of loving multiple people.
75
00:02:52,104 --> 00:02:53,687
And it hit me.
76
00:02:54,010 --> 00:02:57,876
Josh, Greg and I could
be a poly-amorous throuple,
77
00:02:57,901 --> 00:02:59,934
like you guys, since, you know,
I can't choose between them.
78
00:03:00,517 --> 00:03:02,133
Um...
79
00:03:02,135 --> 00:03:05,636
this sort of relationship
isn't a default option
80
00:03:05,638 --> 00:03:07,555
for someone who can't choose.
81
00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:09,223
And it's definitely not
82
00:03:09,225 --> 00:03:10,892
about arm-wrestling for sex.
83
00:03:11,017 --> 00:03:12,766
You know, I thought you
were writing an article
84
00:03:12,768 --> 00:03:14,401
on us for Psychology Today.
85
00:03:14,658 --> 00:03:16,487
That's what it said
on the Craigslist ad.
86
00:03:16,798 --> 00:03:19,106
Right, okay, so, don't be mad at me,
87
00:03:19,108 --> 00:03:20,774
but that was a straight-up lie.
88
00:03:20,776 --> 00:03:22,493
But I still want to buy your TV stand.
89
00:03:22,495 --> 00:03:24,612
Wait, w-w-wait,
please, please, please,
90
00:03:24,614 --> 00:03:26,007
don't go, don't go. Listen...
91
00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:28,832
I am legitimately torn.
92
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:32,119
What you're describing
is a love triangle.
93
00:03:32,121 --> 00:03:33,954
That's a completely different thing.
94
00:03:34,501 --> 00:03:36,150
A love triangle.
95
00:03:37,043 --> 00:03:39,293
I guess you're right.
That is what I'm in.
96
00:03:41,603 --> 00:03:44,220
Oh, dear.
97
00:03:44,884 --> 00:03:47,184
What's a girl to do?
98
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:53,641
♪ What's a girl to do when
she's stuck between men? ♪
99
00:03:53,643 --> 00:03:57,861
♪ It's like she's a Barbie
with two perfect Kens ♪
100
00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:01,231
♪ But wait, it just occurred to me ♪
101
00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:05,402
♪ Maybe I can solve
this with geometry ♪
102
00:04:05,404 --> 00:04:09,373
♪ Yes, smarts can help this
"sitchywation" untangle ♪
103
00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:12,076
♪ So, professors, teach me ♪
104
00:04:12,078 --> 00:04:16,413
♪ The math of love triangles ♪
105
00:04:16,415 --> 00:04:19,800
Yay. Time for book facts.
106
00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:22,003
♪ A triangle is a polygon ♪
107
00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:24,389
♪ With three edges
and three vertices ♪
108
00:04:24,391 --> 00:04:26,257
♪ Take the base times the height ♪
109
00:04:26,259 --> 00:04:29,728
♪ Cut that in half to find
the area of the surfaces ♪
110
00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:32,681
♪ Uh-uh, I wasn't really
listening but I can see ♪
111
00:04:32,683 --> 00:04:35,934
♪ The center of the
triangle is lil ol' me ♪
112
00:04:37,604 --> 00:04:40,522
♪ The math of love triangles ♪
113
00:04:40,524 --> 00:04:42,524
♪ Isn't hard to learn ♪
114
00:04:42,526 --> 00:04:45,327
♪ You're not taking
in what we're saying ♪
115
00:04:45,329 --> 00:04:47,529
♪ We're a little bit concerned ♪
116
00:04:47,531 --> 00:04:50,365
♪ Yes, the math of love triangles ♪
117
00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:52,834
♪ Is as simple as can be ♪
118
00:04:52,836 --> 00:04:55,704
♪ Whichever Tom or
Dick I might pick ♪
119
00:04:55,706 --> 00:04:58,373
♪ The center of the
triangle is lil ol' me ♪
120
00:04:58,375 --> 00:05:01,593
♪ Actually, a triangle
has multiple centers ♪
121
00:05:05,799 --> 00:05:07,549
♪ This triangle's scalene ♪
122
00:05:07,551 --> 00:05:08,550
♪ That's astute ♪
123
00:05:08,552 --> 00:05:10,051
♪ So I need to decide ♪
124
00:05:10,053 --> 00:05:11,219
♪ Which man's more acute ♪
125
00:05:11,221 --> 00:05:12,637
♪ Here's Pythagoras' theorem ♪
126
00:05:12,639 --> 00:05:13,855
♪ Will this help me choose? ♪
127
00:05:13,857 --> 00:05:15,223
♪ If not, I'll be swinging ♪
128
00:05:15,225 --> 00:05:16,524
♪ From a "hypotenoose" ♪
129
00:05:16,526 --> 00:05:17,726
♪ Let's take a look ♪
130
00:05:17,728 --> 00:05:18,893
♪ At what this line bisects ♪
131
00:05:18,895 --> 00:05:21,563
♪ Is that spelled
B-I-S-E-X? ♪
132
00:05:21,565 --> 00:05:24,065
♪ Those are good puns,
but please pay attention ♪
133
00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:26,818
♪ Oh, no, professors,
am I facing suspension? ♪
134
00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:28,403
A swing!
135
00:05:28,405 --> 00:05:30,789
It's literal suspension.
136
00:05:30,791 --> 00:05:33,375
♪ The math of love triangles ♪
137
00:05:33,377 --> 00:05:35,877
♪ Isn't hard to learn ♪
138
00:05:35,879 --> 00:05:37,796
♪ We're starting to suspect ♪
139
00:05:37,798 --> 00:05:40,715
♪ You don't sincerely want
to know about triangles ♪
140
00:05:40,717 --> 00:05:43,385
♪ Yes, the math of love triangles ♪
141
00:05:43,387 --> 00:05:45,754
♪ Is as simple as can be ♪
142
00:05:45,756 --> 00:05:48,390
♪ I need to choose between
men, but until then ♪
143
00:05:48,392 --> 00:05:51,142
♪ The center of the
triangle is lil ol' me ♪
144
00:05:51,928 --> 00:05:54,095
♪ Is this a triangle? ♪
145
00:05:54,097 --> 00:05:55,230
♪ No, that's a shoe ♪
146
00:05:55,232 --> 00:05:56,598
♪ Is this a triangle? ♪
147
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:57,599
♪ No, that's you ♪
148
00:05:57,601 --> 00:05:58,933
♪ So, I'm a triangle? ♪
149
00:05:58,935 --> 00:06:00,235
♪ What? No ♪
150
00:06:00,237 --> 00:06:01,903
♪ One, two, three, six ♪
151
00:06:01,905 --> 00:06:03,438
♪ Eight, three, go... ♪
152
00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,609
You don't seem to know how to count.
153
00:06:08,779 --> 00:06:10,662
We're sincerely worried about you.
154
00:06:10,664 --> 00:06:12,363
Catch me!
155
00:06:13,166 --> 00:06:14,699
You're ruining the number!
156
00:06:14,701 --> 00:06:15,950
♪ This angle's right ♪
157
00:06:15,952 --> 00:06:16,918
♪ Which angle's right? ♪
158
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,369
♪ No, not right like correct ♪
159
00:06:18,371 --> 00:06:19,537
♪ Ooh, are you erect? ♪
160
00:06:19,539 --> 00:06:20,922
♪ No, 90 degrees ♪
161
00:06:20,924 --> 00:06:22,507
♪ That's really erect ♪
162
00:06:22,509 --> 00:06:27,512
♪ The math of love triangles
is super-duper fun ♪
163
00:06:27,514 --> 00:06:29,798
♪ We're tired of all your tangents ♪
164
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,099
♪ That's also a triangle pun ♪
165
00:06:31,101 --> 00:06:32,434
♪ Oh ♪
166
00:06:32,436 --> 00:06:35,136
♪ Thanks for teaching me man math ♪
167
00:06:35,138 --> 00:06:37,806
♪ You all deserve a kiss ♪
168
00:06:37,808 --> 00:06:39,891
♪ Lady, we're all gay ♪
169
00:06:39,893 --> 00:06:42,894
♪ We get nothing out of this ♪
170
00:06:42,896 --> 00:06:47,949
♪ Neither man will notice
my learning disability ♪
171
00:06:47,951 --> 00:06:50,318
♪ 'Cause the center
of the triangle ♪
172
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,455
♪ Is lil, old, sexy, little baby ♪
173
00:06:53,457 --> 00:06:57,208
♪ Me... ♪
174
00:07:01,349 --> 00:07:03,383
So, you see my predicament.
175
00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:04,833
Cut the baby voice.
176
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,158
Okay.
177
00:07:20,735 --> 00:07:25,554
Rebecca, your approach to
this situation is fallacious.
178
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,804
What?!
179
00:07:27,829 --> 00:07:30,012
One, neither man is actually
180
00:07:30,037 --> 00:07:31,320
offering you a relationship.
181
00:07:31,345 --> 00:07:33,382
Uh, mm, is it neither or kind of both?
182
00:07:33,407 --> 00:07:36,625
And two, because of your
mental health issues,
183
00:07:36,650 --> 00:07:38,983
you shouldn't be in a
serious relationship at all.
184
00:07:39,008 --> 00:07:41,186
- But I'm in l...
- You feel torn
185
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,760
between two men, but
it has nothing to do
186
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:44,512
with those men. It has to do
187
00:07:44,514 --> 00:07:46,514
with your personal issues.
188
00:07:46,516 --> 00:07:48,349
No. You are wrong.
189
00:07:48,695 --> 00:07:52,353
I feel that it is my destiny
to be with one of these two men.
190
00:07:52,841 --> 00:07:55,342
You know what, if you're not gonna
help me, I know someone who will.
191
00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:56,357
Who?
192
00:07:56,359 --> 00:07:57,525
Dr. Geller?
193
00:07:57,527 --> 00:07:59,193
He's a hack. He got his degree
194
00:07:59,195 --> 00:08:01,382
in a hotel conference
room in Turks and Caicos.
195
00:08:02,063 --> 00:08:04,937
No, the universe, Dr. Akopian.
196
00:08:04,976 --> 00:08:06,529
Look, the whole reason
197
00:08:06,531 --> 00:08:08,248
I'm in West Covina is
because the universe
198
00:08:08,250 --> 00:08:09,866
sent me a sign, literally.
199
00:08:09,868 --> 00:08:11,868
An arrow pointed straight down
200
00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:13,286
to Josh on the street in New York.
201
00:08:13,288 --> 00:08:14,254
You're gonna say that's a coincidence?
202
00:08:14,256 --> 00:08:16,539
- Yes.
- Ugh! I know you want me
203
00:08:16,541 --> 00:08:17,874
to be so logical,
204
00:08:17,876 --> 00:08:18,718
but that's how I've lived my whole life
205
00:08:18,743 --> 00:08:19,903
and I have been miserable.
206
00:08:19,928 --> 00:08:21,377
So, you know what?
207
00:08:21,379 --> 00:08:23,046
I'm gonna let destiny take the wheel,
208
00:08:23,048 --> 00:08:25,093
like Jesus supposedly does sometimes.
209
00:08:26,885 --> 00:08:28,273
And I feel so much better.
210
00:08:28,386 --> 00:08:30,220
Oh, my God, thank you.
211
00:08:30,222 --> 00:08:31,438
Thank you, Dr. Akopian.
212
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,356
You know what? I'm calling it.
213
00:08:33,358 --> 00:08:35,108
We're done. Take the
rest of the day off.
214
00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:36,893
Um, I have other patients.
215
00:08:36,895 --> 00:08:38,061
You're good.
216
00:08:38,063 --> 00:08:39,507
You're really good.
217
00:08:39,532 --> 00:08:42,450
Is it even ethical to
keep taking her money?
218
00:08:43,573 --> 00:08:46,324
I do want that kayak.
219
00:08:50,575 --> 00:08:52,909
Okay, universe, I'm ready.
220
00:08:52,911 --> 00:08:54,726
Send me some signs.
221
00:08:55,046 --> 00:08:56,546
A karate outfit.
222
00:08:56,734 --> 00:08:59,518
Okay, that's a Josh sign.
223
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,386
A whiskey bottle.
224
00:09:03,388 --> 00:09:05,148
Hmm, could be Greg.
225
00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:07,423
Signs, signs, signs.
226
00:09:07,425 --> 00:09:09,976
Wait, there was a Signs 2 and 3?
227
00:09:09,978 --> 00:09:11,678
How did I miss those signs?
228
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,263
Aah, this is so hard.
229
00:09:13,265 --> 00:09:14,681
So many signs.
230
00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:16,586
How am I supposed to make a decision?
231
00:09:17,152 --> 00:09:19,769
You have made a great
decision, Mr. Serrano.
232
00:09:19,771 --> 00:09:21,571
Yeah. And with my client's cash,
233
00:09:21,573 --> 00:09:23,773
it'll be a seven-day close.
234
00:09:24,276 --> 00:09:25,275
Hello.
235
00:09:25,277 --> 00:09:26,359
Dad?
236
00:09:26,361 --> 00:09:27,744
Yeah. Uh...
237
00:09:27,746 --> 00:09:29,362
who is that lady?
238
00:09:29,364 --> 00:09:30,830
What is she closing? What's going on?
239
00:09:30,832 --> 00:09:31,915
Greggy...
240
00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:33,449
I got great news.
241
00:09:33,451 --> 00:09:34,617
One of those house-flipping douches
242
00:09:34,619 --> 00:09:35,618
knocked on the door last week,
243
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:36,953
offered me ten times
244
00:09:36,955 --> 00:09:37,954
what I paid for this
245
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:38,955
piece of crap in '78.
246
00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:41,382
You sold the house?
247
00:09:41,593 --> 00:09:43,927
Like, literally, just now,
that was a transaction?
248
00:09:43,929 --> 00:09:45,128
Yup!
249
00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:46,179
You sold our house
250
00:09:46,181 --> 00:09:47,586
without telling me?
251
00:09:48,049 --> 00:09:49,546
Yup.
252
00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:52,596
You-you didn't own it, jackass.
253
00:09:52,888 --> 00:09:53,937
I'm being very generous.
254
00:09:53,962 --> 00:09:54,888
I'm giving you half the money...
255
00:09:55,117 --> 00:09:56,639
so you can go to school.
256
00:09:56,641 --> 00:09:58,312
What? You did what?
257
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,238
Isn't that great? That is great, right?
258
00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:02,695
I'm already in school.
259
00:10:02,697 --> 00:10:03,980
Your-Your dream school.
260
00:10:03,982 --> 00:10:05,398
Emory... in Atlanta.
261
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,284
You're always bragging
about getting in, so-so go already.
262
00:10:08,286 --> 00:10:09,986
- Now-Now you can afford to.
- Dad...
263
00:10:09,988 --> 00:10:11,821
I'm trying to stay sober.
264
00:10:11,823 --> 00:10:13,623
That's all that matters right now.
265
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:15,158
Oh...
266
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,493
Son, no, no. Th-This was fate.
267
00:10:17,495 --> 00:10:19,045
The guy knocking on the door,
268
00:10:19,047 --> 00:10:20,163
it was... it was like a sign.
269
00:10:20,165 --> 00:10:22,632
Well, it wasn't like
a sign, he had a sign.
270
00:10:22,634 --> 00:10:25,585
It said, "I Pay Cash."
271
00:10:25,587 --> 00:10:27,337
Listen, I-I wouldn't have
sold the house before,
272
00:10:27,339 --> 00:10:28,638
because I was waiting for you
to get your life together...
273
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,174
You were waiting for me
to get my life together?
274
00:10:31,176 --> 00:10:33,509
I think I was waiting for you
to get your emphysema together.
275
00:10:33,511 --> 00:10:34,677
You still have cigarettes here.
276
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:35,845
Oh, no. Don't pin this on me.
277
00:10:35,847 --> 00:10:37,814
I'm fine. I got a great place,
278
00:10:37,816 --> 00:10:40,683
a retirement community...
But not that retired.
279
00:10:40,685 --> 00:10:42,422
It's called Barely Seniors.
280
00:10:42,447 --> 00:10:44,781
Singles scene is insane.
281
00:10:44,806 --> 00:10:47,307
So, while you're in
Atlanta working on your MBA,
282
00:10:47,332 --> 00:10:50,249
I'm gonna be hitting on
foxy widows at a swim-up bar.
283
00:10:50,278 --> 00:10:51,977
S-Swim-up
bar? What?
284
00:10:52,002 --> 00:10:54,747
Dad, I can't just pick up
and move across the country
285
00:10:54,749 --> 00:10:56,366
out of nowhere. I'm not crazy.
286
00:10:56,492 --> 00:10:57,750
And I'm not supposed to
287
00:10:57,752 --> 00:10:59,702
make big changes this early in recovery.
288
00:10:59,704 --> 00:11:02,164
I'm afraid to change my socks.
289
00:11:02,306 --> 00:11:04,840
I've been 28 days in these puppies.
290
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:07,377
Well, it's your life.
291
00:11:07,379 --> 00:11:08,878
And, you know, do what you want to do,
292
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,129
but we don't live here anymore.
293
00:11:11,766 --> 00:11:13,820
And the money is yours.
294
00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:27,797
Oh, I'm so confused.
295
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,650
I mean, I've barely
been sleeping or eating,
296
00:11:30,652 --> 00:11:32,568
except for this sandwich...
That was delicious.
297
00:11:32,570 --> 00:11:34,070
I don't want to hurt anybody, but...
298
00:11:34,072 --> 00:11:35,238
I have to know,
299
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,742
is destiny Team Josh or Team Greg?
300
00:11:37,876 --> 00:11:39,492
'Cause I keep getting signs for both.
301
00:11:39,494 --> 00:11:40,859
It's-it's exhausting.
302
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:42,545
Oh, I just wish someone would
303
00:11:42,547 --> 00:11:43,663
tell me what to do at this point.
304
00:11:43,665 --> 00:11:44,831
- You know?
- Not me.
305
00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:45,999
Not anymore.
306
00:11:46,195 --> 00:11:48,602
Oh, maybe this is something.
307
00:11:48,627 --> 00:11:51,992
- Oh, no, it's just period day.
- Period day?
308
00:11:52,017 --> 00:11:53,219
- Yay!
- Mm.
309
00:11:53,244 --> 00:11:55,156
Ovunation is... the best.
310
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,893
Yeah, definitely worth the $1.99.
311
00:11:56,895 --> 00:11:58,061
Huh, it says
312
00:11:58,063 --> 00:11:59,547
we're supposed to get our periods today.
313
00:12:00,109 --> 00:12:01,210
You got anything?
314
00:12:01,235 --> 00:12:03,734
You got, uh, I don't know,
puffy boobs, migraines, cramps?
315
00:12:03,759 --> 00:12:06,031
An urge to dip chips in frosting?
316
00:12:06,056 --> 00:12:07,797
Oh... Ooh...
317
00:12:08,059 --> 00:12:10,302
- Tonight. Um, I don't know. Yeah.
318
00:12:10,327 --> 00:12:11,493
Let me see what I got here.
319
00:12:11,495 --> 00:12:13,962
Yes. Oh, God, those puppies are sore.
320
00:12:13,964 --> 00:12:15,649
Our red friend must be on its way.
321
00:12:15,674 --> 00:12:18,039
Oh, thank God. I'm so
glad we cycle together.
322
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,120
- Mmm...
- It's like we're
323
00:12:19,122 --> 00:12:20,655
our own little blood coven.
324
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,159
Scatter, little boys! Scatter!
325
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,462
Oh, God.
326
00:12:27,464 --> 00:12:29,381
Yeah, it is kind of weird that
327
00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:30,632
we're running a little late, though.
328
00:12:30,634 --> 00:12:31,833
Usually it's like clockwork.
329
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,052
You know what? It's probably my fault.
330
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,004
I have been so stressed
about applying to law school.
331
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,505
- Oh...
- I mean,
332
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,090
I'm finally doing what
I want to do, it just...
333
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,893
It feels great, but it's
also, like, really scary.
334
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,728
- Mm.
- Oh, but you remember
335
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,014
that scene in Working Girl
where all the women walk to work
336
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,265
- in their sneakers...
- Oh, yeah.
337
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,316
... and then they change
338
00:12:48,318 --> 00:12:51,139
into, like, little
kicky Nine West pumps?
339
00:12:51,164 --> 00:12:51,937
- Yeah.
- Oh...
340
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,105
God, I always wanted to be that girl.
341
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,607
And all my life,
342
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,858
people have been telling me I couldn't.
343
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:57,943
You know? And I am
344
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,453
so close.
345
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,029
I don't know.
346
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:02,197
Having to wait six months
347
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:03,531
to find out if I can have my dream
348
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:07,438
is so hard when I've been
waiting my entire life.
349
00:13:08,024 --> 00:13:09,371
Wow.
350
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,256
How long have you been
sitting on that speech?
351
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,425
- 24 years.
- Mm. Paula,
352
00:13:13,427 --> 00:13:14,709
you can do it, okay?
353
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,211
There's really no need to stress.
354
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:17,712
It's all gonna happen. Thanks, baby.
355
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:21,433
Hello, ladies, I got the
Ovunation push notification.
356
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:23,518
So,
357
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,387
I brought in your favorite chocolate.
358
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,554
Oh. God,
359
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:27,889
I got to change my
privacy settings. Darryl,
360
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:28,857
what are you wearing?
Why are you exposing
361
00:13:28,859 --> 00:13:30,692
your extremely white legs?
362
00:13:30,694 --> 00:13:33,528
Oh, well, WiJo and I
went hiking together.
363
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:36,609
We found this place in
town called Heritage Bridge.
364
00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:38,066
Have you ever been? It's so pretty,
365
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,844
and I've lived here for 15 years,
366
00:13:39,869 --> 00:13:41,987
never even knew it was there.
But that's the beauty of WiJo...
367
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,905
He helps me to see
the beauty that's been
368
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,290
under my nose from the very beginning.
369
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:49,264
I get it. I get it.
370
00:13:49,289 --> 00:13:51,713
We're so sweet together
that it's almost nauseating.
371
00:13:51,715 --> 00:13:52,964
That's kind of funny.
372
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,833
It's true but it's funny.
373
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,695
No, Darryl, I legit just barfed.
374
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,984
Oh, my God, I... got water mouth.
375
00:14:03,352 --> 00:14:04,718
Honey, are you okay?
376
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,172
Paula...
377
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,094
I'm pregnant.
378
00:14:17,618 --> 00:14:20,766
So, you think you're pregnant
because you hurled once?
379
00:14:21,001 --> 00:14:24,169
No, I'm pregnant because I
ate that egg salad sandwich.
380
00:14:24,171 --> 00:14:26,555
Yeah, honey, no one gets the egg salad
from the vending machine.
381
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:28,363
It's all sweaty and gray.
382
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:31,445
I mean, you got to start looking
at your food before you eat it.
383
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:33,452
No, okay, Paula, when
my mother was pregnant,
384
00:14:33,477 --> 00:14:34,893
she could not eat egg salad.
385
00:14:34,895 --> 00:14:36,585
I mean, just-just the
thought of egg salad,
386
00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:37,776
and she would barf everywhere!
387
00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:39,092
I-It's on the list of
things I ruined for
388
00:14:39,124 --> 00:14:40,437
her, including her
career and her vagina.
389
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:42,258
Right, okay, and you
don't think it's because
390
00:14:42,283 --> 00:14:44,650
they ship those sandwiches
in hot trucks from Colorado?
391
00:14:44,844 --> 00:14:46,086
No. No...
392
00:14:46,111 --> 00:14:47,060
No. No, that's not it.
393
00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:48,109
All right, look.
394
00:14:48,134 --> 00:14:49,884
If you think you could be pregnant,
395
00:14:49,909 --> 00:14:51,074
then let's just... let's just
396
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,938
go get a test and then you'll know.
397
00:14:53,419 --> 00:14:54,797
I don't need a test.
398
00:14:56,023 --> 00:14:57,105
I know what I feel.
399
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,379
Paula, don't you see?
400
00:14:58,538 --> 00:14:59,704
Wait,
401
00:14:59,729 --> 00:15:01,274
Paula!
402
00:15:01,299 --> 00:15:02,548
Don't you see? Don't you see
403
00:15:02,573 --> 00:15:03,739
what's happening here?
404
00:15:03,764 --> 00:15:05,976
This baby is a sign.
405
00:15:06,001 --> 00:15:09,133
The universe got back
to me. Thanks, universe!
406
00:15:09,172 --> 00:15:10,304
Oh, my God, it's like
everything was a test,
407
00:15:10,306 --> 00:15:11,338
and ding, ding, ding,
408
00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:13,140
the baby is the answer! A-plus!
409
00:15:13,142 --> 00:15:14,759
Yeah, I-I-I'm just...
I'm not following you,
410
00:15:14,761 --> 00:15:15,760
like, at all.
411
00:15:15,762 --> 00:15:17,261
Okay, okay, okay. Paula,
412
00:15:17,263 --> 00:15:18,512
I put my intention
out into the universe,
413
00:15:18,514 --> 00:15:19,814
and now the universe is telling me
414
00:15:19,816 --> 00:15:21,982
exactly what I should do. I mean,
415
00:15:21,984 --> 00:15:24,652
the baby can only be
Josh's, ask Ovunation.
416
00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:26,520
It's-it's his! And if
I'm having Josh's baby,
417
00:15:26,522 --> 00:15:29,406
it means that Josh and I
are meant to be together.
418
00:15:29,408 --> 00:15:30,691
I mean, it would crazy to think
419
00:15:30,693 --> 00:15:31,742
that Greg and I were meant to
420
00:15:31,744 --> 00:15:33,661
raise Josh's baby, right?
421
00:15:33,663 --> 00:15:35,362
Oh, honey.
422
00:15:35,364 --> 00:15:37,359
I am so worried about you.
423
00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:39,533
Okay, so I am just gonna
424
00:15:39,535 --> 00:15:42,036
pop out and get you a test, mm-Kay?
425
00:15:42,038 --> 00:15:43,953
And then we'll just...
We'll go from there.
426
00:15:44,874 --> 00:15:46,719
Having Josh's baby.
427
00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:51,000
Okay. I hear you.
428
00:15:51,025 --> 00:15:53,809
I hear you, universe, loud and clear.
429
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,998
So what do I do, Guard?
430
00:16:01,023 --> 00:16:03,190
Can I call you that?
Instead of Guardrail?
431
00:16:03,192 --> 00:16:05,703
It's just one extra
syllable to make it right.
432
00:16:05,895 --> 00:16:07,061
Make the effort.
433
00:16:07,359 --> 00:16:08,636
I hear you. Guardy.
434
00:16:08,661 --> 00:16:09,660
Hmm.
435
00:16:09,763 --> 00:16:10,879
Guardrail.
436
00:16:11,632 --> 00:16:15,119
Listen. My father has literally
handed me my dreams
437
00:16:15,121 --> 00:16:16,587
on a silver platter...
438
00:16:16,589 --> 00:16:17,834
that's not quite as expensive...
439
00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:19,073
Like a bronze platter.
440
00:16:19,075 --> 00:16:20,407
He actually doesn't even own a platter.
441
00:16:20,409 --> 00:16:22,743
He once served cheese and
crackers to me on a Frisbee.
442
00:16:23,007 --> 00:16:24,078
Point is,
443
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,212
I can't do it.
444
00:16:25,414 --> 00:16:26,330
Why?
445
00:16:26,332 --> 00:16:27,381
'Cause it goes against
446
00:16:27,383 --> 00:16:28,799
the "big changes" rule.
447
00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:31,085
In the book. In our book. In our book.
448
00:16:31,087 --> 00:16:32,419
Those are guidelines.
449
00:16:32,421 --> 00:16:34,906
There's only one hard and
fast rule: don't drink.
450
00:16:35,101 --> 00:16:38,509
Look, there's meetings in Atlanta.
And for a sponsor,
451
00:16:38,511 --> 00:16:40,094
I can set you up with one of the best
452
00:16:40,096 --> 00:16:42,593
retired winos, my friend Barry.
453
00:16:43,015 --> 00:16:44,932
He didn't get a cool biker name?
454
00:16:45,195 --> 00:16:46,718
He's an actuary.
455
00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:49,603
Be careful about stereotyping, okay?
456
00:16:50,273 --> 00:16:52,239
Greg, I can't tell you what to do,
457
00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:53,440
but this sounds like an opportunity
458
00:16:53,442 --> 00:16:54,608
you've been waiting for.
459
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:56,140
Maybe that is more important.
460
00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:57,197
Are you sure?
461
00:16:57,773 --> 00:16:58,779
What should I do?
462
00:16:58,781 --> 00:17:00,664
I can't tell you what to do.
463
00:17:00,666 --> 00:17:01,914
But, seriously...
464
00:17:02,285 --> 00:17:03,450
tell me what to do.
465
00:17:03,452 --> 00:17:05,375
Literally just told you I can't.
466
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,588
- You could write it down.
- Nope.
467
00:17:07,590 --> 00:17:09,123
- You could send me a text.
- Stop it.
468
00:17:09,125 --> 00:17:10,291
What if you told those people
469
00:17:10,293 --> 00:17:11,792
- and they told me?
- What?
470
00:17:13,259 --> 00:17:15,176
I'm gonna go.
471
00:17:16,539 --> 00:17:17,798
Hi!
472
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,682
What's going on?
473
00:17:18,684 --> 00:17:20,301
You sent me 17 texts to come over.
474
00:17:20,303 --> 00:17:22,303
I am so happy to see you.
475
00:17:22,305 --> 00:17:24,555
Mmm.
476
00:17:24,557 --> 00:17:26,807
Also, it's not coming over,
it's coming home, so...
477
00:17:28,311 --> 00:17:29,727
Whoa, tiger.
478
00:17:29,729 --> 00:17:31,779
I just feel so close to you right now.
479
00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:33,948
Oh...
480
00:17:33,950 --> 00:17:35,232
Mmm.
481
00:17:36,619 --> 00:17:38,035
Wow, I'm so glad I came over...
482
00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:39,787
- Uh, home.
- Yeah, baby.
483
00:17:39,789 --> 00:17:40,788
Mmm.
484
00:17:40,790 --> 00:17:42,539
- Oh.
- Mmm.
485
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:47,225
- Mmm.
- Oh, wait. H-Hold on.
486
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:48,199
What? What?
487
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,334
What... w-what is that?
488
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,368
Oh, no, no, look at those later.
489
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:51,669
- That's for later.
- What?
490
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,695
Uh...
491
00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:55,423
Oh...
492
00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,584
Prenatal...
493
00:17:59,976 --> 00:18:01,523
vitamins?
494
00:18:02,299 --> 00:18:03,359
I'm sorry.
495
00:18:03,384 --> 00:18:05,384
I-I... I didn't want
you to find out this way.
496
00:18:05,409 --> 00:18:06,992
I was gonna to tell you
after we made love.
497
00:18:07,546 --> 00:18:09,220
What, wait?
498
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,356
Are you telling me that you're pregnant?
499
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,608
Okay...
500
00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:16,694
So, Josh, I know this is
big, this is really big,
501
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,375
but we've been so unsure
about what's happening between us.
502
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,414
And now destiny has
intervened right here.
503
00:18:21,792 --> 00:18:23,325
I mean, think about it,
I'm on birth control,
504
00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:24,516
you used a condom.
505
00:18:24,541 --> 00:18:27,041
Like, this is basically a miracle.
506
00:18:27,066 --> 00:18:30,273
This baby is a sign that
we're meant to be a family.
507
00:18:31,257 --> 00:18:32,577
You should sit down.
508
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,963
You should sit down. Sit
down, sit down. This is big.
509
00:18:34,965 --> 00:18:36,464
Do you need a glass of water?
510
00:18:36,466 --> 00:18:37,916
Yeah, this is hard. Listen,
511
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:39,167
I'm not saying this isn't hard.
512
00:18:39,169 --> 00:18:41,419
This is gonna be the hardest
thing we will ever have to do,
513
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:42,587
but it's gonna be
worth it. You know why?
514
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,138
Jeronica.
515
00:18:44,140 --> 00:18:46,090
What do you think of
that name, if it's a girl?
516
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,092
Jeronica. It's like the
"J" names in your family.
517
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:49,511
I mean Josh Jr. If
it's a boy, of course.
518
00:18:49,513 --> 00:18:50,554
Or Jeremiah, I really like Jeremiah.
519
00:18:50,579 --> 00:18:51,674
Hold on, I have to pee!
520
00:19:05,695 --> 00:19:07,968
Okay! So, change of plans.
521
00:19:07,993 --> 00:19:09,976
I just got my period, so I am not pregnant!
522
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:11,820
Wow, this has been quite a
day. Sorry to stress you out.
523
00:19:11,845 --> 00:19:13,228
But, the good news is...
524
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:14,536
now we can have some...
525
00:19:14,561 --> 00:19:16,477
period sex.
526
00:19:22,622 --> 00:19:24,255
♪ Period sex ♪
527
00:19:24,257 --> 00:19:26,090
♪ Period sex... ♪
528
00:19:26,092 --> 00:19:27,508
♪ Put down a towel ♪
529
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:29,126
♪ Party till it's dry ♪
530
00:19:29,128 --> 00:19:30,961
♪ With some period sex ♪
531
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:31,768
♪ Period sex. ♪
532
00:19:31,793 --> 00:19:33,593
Stop it!
533
00:19:33,792 --> 00:19:35,959
What just happened?
534
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,719
I walked in the door,
everything was fine,
535
00:19:38,721 --> 00:19:40,471
but then you were pregnant,
536
00:19:40,473 --> 00:19:42,890
and then my life started
flashing before my eyes,
537
00:19:42,892 --> 00:19:44,808
then you weren't... I-I...
538
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,477
Okay, I need some air, some... air.
539
00:19:46,479 --> 00:19:48,145
Hey, hey, Josh, wait.
540
00:19:48,147 --> 00:19:49,863
No, no. Rebecca, I need more than air.
541
00:19:49,865 --> 00:19:51,315
I can't do this.
542
00:19:51,317 --> 00:19:52,866
Do you mean the period
sex? It's not gross,
543
00:19:52,868 --> 00:19:54,034
I'll just get a dark towel.
544
00:19:54,036 --> 00:19:55,643
It's not the period sex!
545
00:19:55,668 --> 00:19:57,835
Rebecca, the last three minutes
546
00:19:57,860 --> 00:20:01,579
have been the most upsetting of my life!
547
00:20:01,604 --> 00:20:03,804
But I thought that you
would be happy a-about...
548
00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:05,795
It's-it's not... It's not just that.
549
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:07,714
This confirms what I've been feeling.
550
00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,372
I've been so unsure about us.
551
00:20:09,397 --> 00:20:11,425
What just happened... that's a sign.
552
00:20:12,519 --> 00:20:13,768
What? A sign of what?
553
00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:15,626
That we need to stop doing this.
554
00:20:15,651 --> 00:20:17,401
This is all wrong.
555
00:20:17,426 --> 00:20:19,176
Wrong? It's not... It
was just a cas... okay,
556
00:20:19,201 --> 00:20:21,568
it was just a casual thing. But then
557
00:20:21,593 --> 00:20:23,593
I started leaving my stuff here and...
558
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:27,058
it's just too much,
Rebecca. I got to go.
559
00:20:28,058 --> 00:20:29,687
Wait... what are you
doing? Wait, wait, wait.
560
00:20:29,689 --> 00:20:31,272
You're coming back, right?
This is just a fight.
561
00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:33,157
This is a fight. All couples fight.
562
00:20:33,159 --> 00:20:34,858
No, it's not.
563
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,214
And we're not a couple, Rebecca.
564
00:20:39,415 --> 00:20:40,987
What?
565
00:20:41,012 --> 00:20:42,311
I'm sorry.
566
00:20:42,336 --> 00:20:44,095
Sorry for what? Sorry for what?
567
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,151
I don't want to see you anymore.
568
00:20:52,464 --> 00:20:53,914
Josh...
569
00:20:54,933 --> 00:20:56,800
Hey, no, Josh!
570
00:21:19,235 --> 00:21:20,610
Oh, hey, honey.
571
00:21:20,635 --> 00:21:23,431
Listen, I got you a test.
Um, I wanted to bring it by
572
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:25,172
last night, but I was respecting our
573
00:21:25,197 --> 00:21:27,375
legally... binding friendship contract.
574
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,110
I'm not pregnant.
575
00:21:30,129 --> 00:21:32,880
And Josh broke up with me.
576
00:21:32,882 --> 00:21:35,416
Oh, no, honey, I'm so sorry.
577
00:21:35,418 --> 00:21:37,835
So, my womb is empty, like my life.
578
00:21:37,837 --> 00:21:39,141
Oh, no, okay.
579
00:21:39,166 --> 00:21:40,582
Maybe this is for the best.
580
00:21:40,650 --> 00:21:44,258
No, come on, this love triangle
thing, the bouncing back and forth.
581
00:21:44,283 --> 00:21:45,899
I mean... it's exhaust...
582
00:21:45,924 --> 00:21:48,172
You are exhausted.
583
00:21:48,647 --> 00:21:51,598
Why don't you take a break, okay?
584
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,493
Spend a little time on yourself.
585
00:21:53,686 --> 00:21:55,657
I mean, I think that
586
00:21:55,682 --> 00:21:57,215
would be healthy.
587
00:21:58,203 --> 00:21:59,990
Yeah, you know what?
588
00:21:59,992 --> 00:22:01,408
You're right.
589
00:22:01,410 --> 00:22:02,993
Oh, that whole sign thing,
590
00:22:03,029 --> 00:22:04,753
that was so stupid.
591
00:22:04,778 --> 00:22:06,361
I don't know why I even came to work.
592
00:22:06,386 --> 00:22:08,386
I got to get out of here.
I'm gonna go on a walk.
593
00:22:08,451 --> 00:22:10,177
- Well, y-you want some company?
- No.
594
00:22:10,202 --> 00:22:11,952
No, no, I have to be alone.
595
00:22:11,954 --> 00:22:14,288
And plus our mutual periods
might attract vultures.
596
00:22:17,843 --> 00:22:20,081
She got her period.
597
00:22:34,696 --> 00:22:37,113
Scott, meet me at home.
598
00:22:37,396 --> 00:22:39,729
You're, uh, both leaving?
599
00:22:40,065 --> 00:22:43,484
You know, you guys can't
just leave all the time.
600
00:22:43,572 --> 00:22:45,009
Can I come?
601
00:22:47,490 --> 00:22:48,737
Next time.
602
00:22:49,181 --> 00:22:50,597
Yeah.
603
00:22:57,333 --> 00:22:59,383
You've been looking at
this thing for 15 minutes.
604
00:22:59,385 --> 00:23:01,253
It's not gonna pee on itself.
605
00:23:01,278 --> 00:23:02,610
I don't want to know.
606
00:23:02,838 --> 00:23:04,304
The longer I wait,
607
00:23:04,306 --> 00:23:06,390
the longer I can pretend
this isn't happening.
608
00:23:06,392 --> 00:23:07,901
And the more wine I can drink.
609
00:23:07,926 --> 00:23:09,331
Paula, you're probably not pregnant.
610
00:23:09,512 --> 00:23:10,761
You're only a couple days late
611
00:23:10,763 --> 00:23:12,396
and we use protection.
612
00:23:12,398 --> 00:23:13,730
Oh, God, this makes so much sense.
613
00:23:13,732 --> 00:23:15,349
I mean,
614
00:23:15,351 --> 00:23:17,017
this is what happens to me, right?
615
00:23:17,019 --> 00:23:18,852
I mean, I finally decide
to apply to law school
616
00:23:18,854 --> 00:23:20,354
and that bitch Fate just...
617
00:23:20,356 --> 00:23:21,855
gets me knocked up.
618
00:23:21,857 --> 00:23:23,323
God, why did we decide
to have sex again?
619
00:23:23,325 --> 00:23:24,909
It was such a mistake.
620
00:23:25,010 --> 00:23:28,278
If you're pregnant, we'll
figure out how to deal with it.
621
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,747
Everything will be fine.
622
00:23:30,749 --> 00:23:33,283
We don't have the money for another kid
623
00:23:33,285 --> 00:23:35,536
and... law school and food
624
00:23:35,538 --> 00:23:38,372
and Brendan's parole officer payola.
625
00:23:40,092 --> 00:23:42,338
Oh, I was gonna spread my wings.
626
00:23:42,678 --> 00:23:45,151
Yup, I was gonna
spread my wings and fly.
627
00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:46,940
I'm so stupid.
628
00:23:47,354 --> 00:23:49,049
No, no. no. No, no.
629
00:23:49,051 --> 00:23:50,801
My dad was right.
630
00:23:50,803 --> 00:23:53,315
I'm a breeder, not a leader.
631
00:23:53,987 --> 00:23:56,807
- That's a weird saying.
- I know.
632
00:23:56,809 --> 00:23:58,308
Paula, just take the test
633
00:23:58,310 --> 00:23:59,860
- and we'll go from there.
- I can't.
634
00:23:59,862 --> 00:24:02,409
I can't take the test right now, okay?
635
00:24:02,434 --> 00:24:03,883
I'm gonna go back to work,
636
00:24:03,908 --> 00:24:06,096
and I will think about this... later.
637
00:24:46,271 --> 00:24:47,535
Greg?
638
00:24:48,638 --> 00:24:50,552
Hey, what are you doing here?
639
00:24:50,577 --> 00:24:53,083
- Hey, Rebecca, this is weird.
- Yeah.
640
00:24:54,283 --> 00:24:56,208
I just needed a walk.
641
00:24:56,475 --> 00:24:58,759
Lot of hours to fill
when you're not drinking.
642
00:24:59,121 --> 00:25:00,787
Also, I've saved so much money,
643
00:25:00,789 --> 00:25:02,466
- I bought these shoes.
- Oh!
644
00:25:02,708 --> 00:25:03,724
How'd you end up here?
645
00:25:03,749 --> 00:25:05,532
I, uh, also needed a walk.
646
00:25:06,093 --> 00:25:07,510
And I found out about it from Darryl.
647
00:25:07,535 --> 00:25:08,997
He and WiJo come here a lot.
648
00:25:10,182 --> 00:25:11,965
God, they're a great couple.
649
00:25:11,967 --> 00:25:13,967
Yeah, God, I ship them so hard.
650
00:25:13,969 --> 00:25:15,135
Yeah, they're really cute.
651
00:25:15,513 --> 00:25:17,187
Crazy that we both end up here
652
00:25:17,189 --> 00:25:18,438
at the exact same time.
653
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,255
What are the chances of that happening?
654
00:25:20,643 --> 00:25:23,654
I don't know, I think
it's just a coincidence.
655
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,113
I used to think that
coincidences like this
656
00:25:26,115 --> 00:25:27,614
were, like, signs.
657
00:25:27,616 --> 00:25:28,815
Like when you were a little girl?
658
00:25:29,286 --> 00:25:30,951
No, like an hour ago.
659
00:25:30,953 --> 00:25:32,369
Ah, how you've grown.
660
00:25:32,371 --> 00:25:34,154
Yeah, I was so much shorter back then.
661
00:25:34,156 --> 00:25:35,388
Is that even possible?
662
00:25:40,963 --> 00:25:42,162
This place is so beautiful.
663
00:25:42,164 --> 00:25:43,497
We...
664
00:25:43,499 --> 00:25:44,998
we should've come here.
665
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,667
You know, a place like
this when we were together.
666
00:25:46,669 --> 00:25:47,918
Why didn't we do that?
667
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,958
'Cause we hated the outdoors?
668
00:25:50,172 --> 00:25:52,673
- And each other most of the time?
- Right,
669
00:25:52,675 --> 00:25:54,057
right, right.
670
00:25:54,059 --> 00:25:56,259
The two pillars of
any great relationship.
671
00:25:56,261 --> 00:25:57,811
Yeah, we were great.
672
00:25:58,702 --> 00:26:01,138
All right, I should get
back to work, I, um...
673
00:26:01,957 --> 00:26:03,613
I'm literally never there.
674
00:26:03,638 --> 00:26:04,662
It's a miracle
675
00:26:04,687 --> 00:26:05,732
I'm not fired.
676
00:26:05,757 --> 00:26:07,540
It was nice to see you.
677
00:26:08,201 --> 00:26:09,573
I've missed you.
678
00:26:09,895 --> 00:26:11,490
Yeah, me, too.
679
00:26:13,028 --> 00:26:15,529
This was a great, fate-less,
coincidental meeting
680
00:26:15,531 --> 00:26:17,030
on a scenic bridge.
681
00:26:21,036 --> 00:26:22,482
Okay.
682
00:26:23,038 --> 00:26:24,871
I'm gonna...
683
00:26:25,708 --> 00:26:27,040
Okay, good-bye.
684
00:26:27,042 --> 00:26:28,291
Wait, Rebecca.
685
00:26:28,293 --> 00:26:29,935
Yeah?
686
00:26:45,303 --> 00:26:48,021
So, you were right.
687
00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:51,224
You told me to stop looking
for signs and I did just that.
688
00:26:51,226 --> 00:26:53,576
I'm glad to hear that, Rebecca.
689
00:26:53,601 --> 00:26:56,185
And it was when I
stopped looking for signs
690
00:26:56,210 --> 00:26:58,043
that I got the biggest sign of all.
691
00:26:58,068 --> 00:26:59,518
Oh, Lord.
692
00:27:06,324 --> 00:27:08,124
Yeah, he kissed me.
693
00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:09,709
And in that moment, I realized...
694
00:27:10,536 --> 00:27:12,689
it's him, Doctor,
695
00:27:12,714 --> 00:27:15,331
- it's always been Greg.
- Hmm.
696
00:27:15,356 --> 00:27:17,300
Let me float an idea out
there, and I know you have
697
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:19,451
every reason to say no, but...
698
00:27:20,505 --> 00:27:22,419
can we try this again, please?
699
00:27:23,661 --> 00:27:24,644
Rebecca...
700
00:27:24,669 --> 00:27:26,872
I know there's a lot of
water under the bridge.
701
00:27:26,897 --> 00:27:28,513
And I'm not just talking about
the water under this bridge.
702
00:27:28,538 --> 00:27:30,622
There's a drought,
why is there so much...
703
00:27:30,849 --> 00:27:32,515
water under this bridge?
704
00:27:32,517 --> 00:27:34,067
Okay, if we try this again,
705
00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,152
if we take it slow,
706
00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:38,321
if we act like adults this time...
707
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,606
- But what about...
- Josh?
708
00:27:39,608 --> 00:27:41,190
Josh is done. That was nothing.
709
00:27:41,192 --> 00:27:42,492
It's-it's done, I swear.
710
00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:44,027
Think about how this
story has played out.
711
00:27:44,029 --> 00:27:45,528
So I move to West Covina,
712
00:27:45,530 --> 00:27:47,163
in love with someone else,
and he's the sarcastic,
713
00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:49,198
messed up bartender that
calls me out on my stuff,
714
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,251
and I ignore him, but we
have undeniable chemistry.
715
00:27:51,253 --> 00:27:53,202
And now Josh and I break up...
716
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,589
and it's about me and Greg.
717
00:27:56,591 --> 00:27:58,247
If you want to start over,
718
00:27:59,044 --> 00:28:01,210
I'll be here in this exact spot
719
00:28:01,212 --> 00:28:03,279
tomorrow night at sunset.
720
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:05,310
And if you're here,
721
00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:07,383
then we can walk over to that adorable
722
00:28:07,385 --> 00:28:09,052
mom-and-pop Italian place.
723
00:28:09,054 --> 00:28:10,219
The Olive Garden?
724
00:28:10,221 --> 00:28:12,341
The Olive Garden, yes. And...
725
00:28:12,802 --> 00:28:15,224
we'll just, I don't know, start
over, pretend we never met.
726
00:28:15,226 --> 00:28:17,587
And... forget all the bad stuff.
727
00:28:18,490 --> 00:28:19,896
Okay?
728
00:28:19,898 --> 00:28:22,065
Just... just think about it.
729
00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:29,072
I mean, duh! It's the other guy!
730
00:28:29,074 --> 00:28:31,157
It's the guy who was
under my nose all along,
731
00:28:31,159 --> 00:28:32,375
that I under-appreciated.
732
00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:33,826
I mean, him and me getting together...
733
00:28:33,828 --> 00:28:36,685
It's the most obvious
thing in the world.
734
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:39,415
Do you listen to anything I say?
735
00:28:39,417 --> 00:28:40,638
Ever?
736
00:28:40,663 --> 00:28:42,413
Yes, I'm so glad you agree with me.
737
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:44,003
Yup.
738
00:28:44,005 --> 00:28:46,318
I'm gonna go fall in
love at the Olive Garden.
739
00:28:46,343 --> 00:28:47,675
Mm.
740
00:28:50,595 --> 00:28:54,013
The kayak, Noelle.
741
00:28:54,015 --> 00:28:56,933
Remember the kayak.
742
00:29:06,865 --> 00:29:08,161
So...
743
00:29:08,818 --> 00:29:10,279
Beans said you could
just keep all this stuff
744
00:29:10,281 --> 00:29:12,115
- at his house?
- Yeah,
745
00:29:12,117 --> 00:29:14,751
he's got a dog mausoleum
with some extra space, so...
746
00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:16,452
Until I find a permanent place to live.
747
00:29:16,454 --> 00:29:18,421
Here, in-in West Covina?
748
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:23,009
Uh, not necessarily,
maybe El Monte or Glendora.
749
00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:24,794
Dad, I told you.
750
00:29:24,796 --> 00:29:26,958
I can't leave because of my recovery.
751
00:29:27,182 --> 00:29:28,965
- Recovery.
- Yeah.
752
00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:30,466
Right.
753
00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:35,935
This is why you're staying.
754
00:29:37,118 --> 00:29:38,918
God, you're so dramatic.
755
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:41,393
What, are you gonna wave that
around? "I've got exhibit 'A'?"
756
00:29:41,418 --> 00:29:42,622
This is not why you're staying?
757
00:29:42,647 --> 00:29:44,397
You're not staying for this girl?
758
00:29:44,399 --> 00:29:45,544
You are.
759
00:29:45,601 --> 00:29:47,677
And isn't that against the
rules of your group, too?
760
00:29:47,702 --> 00:29:49,202
New relationships?
761
00:29:49,204 --> 00:29:50,653
They're guidelines, not rules.
762
00:29:50,655 --> 00:29:52,822
And it's not a new relationship.
763
00:29:52,824 --> 00:29:54,323
We're gonna take things slow,
764
00:29:54,325 --> 00:29:55,825
see how things go...
765
00:29:55,827 --> 00:29:57,076
Maybe we should celebrate
your staying in town
766
00:29:57,078 --> 00:29:58,878
- by having a drink.
- Dad, stop.
767
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,129
You get back with Rebecca,
768
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:01,497
you might as well hit the bottle again.
769
00:30:01,499 --> 00:30:03,249
Yeah, she jerks you around.
770
00:30:03,251 --> 00:30:04,667
You fall for it every time.
771
00:30:04,669 --> 00:30:06,002
She was figuring out her feelings.
772
00:30:06,004 --> 00:30:07,887
Oh, God, would you listen to yourself?
773
00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:09,372
You're poison for each other.
774
00:30:09,397 --> 00:30:11,848
She's bad for you,
and you're bad for her.
775
00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,393
You have to know that.
776
00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:15,841
Whole lot of parenting
late in the game, Dad.
777
00:30:16,064 --> 00:30:17,513
I got to keep packing.
778
00:30:27,469 --> 00:30:30,312
_
779
00:30:39,234 --> 00:30:40,870
Congratulations!
780
00:30:40,872 --> 00:30:42,505
What? What did you see?
It could be negative.
781
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:43,773
What?
782
00:30:44,125 --> 00:30:45,925
Oh, God.
783
00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:47,687
Darryl, what do you want?
784
00:30:47,712 --> 00:30:50,179
Oh, I have great news.
785
00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:52,432
So, I overheard you saying the other day
786
00:30:52,434 --> 00:30:53,966
that you didn't want to wait
around to hear from law school.
787
00:30:53,968 --> 00:30:55,301
You wanted to start right away.
788
00:30:55,303 --> 00:30:57,553
So I thought about it, and I realized
789
00:30:57,555 --> 00:30:58,771
that I knew someone
790
00:30:58,773 --> 00:31:00,320
from the school where you applied.
791
00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:03,234
Don't make a big deal
out of it, but I know...
792
00:31:03,986 --> 00:31:06,320
the dean... mm-hmm.
793
00:31:06,345 --> 00:31:07,877
And we actually know each other.
794
00:31:07,902 --> 00:31:09,652
We're not just, like, Linkedln friends.
795
00:31:09,890 --> 00:31:10,983
Okay.
796
00:31:10,985 --> 00:31:12,819
Yeah, well, anyway, so I called him
797
00:31:12,821 --> 00:31:14,487
and asked him about rolling admissions,
798
00:31:14,489 --> 00:31:18,074
and I... pulled a few strings, and...
799
00:31:18,076 --> 00:31:20,390
you start this semester.
800
00:31:24,372 --> 00:31:26,455
This semester!
801
00:31:26,746 --> 00:31:28,412
This semester!
802
00:31:36,162 --> 00:31:38,023
Nothing can stop you, Paula.
803
00:31:38,763 --> 00:31:40,007
Not anymore.
804
00:31:44,515 --> 00:31:46,746
Oh, my God, what have... What is that?
805
00:31:46,771 --> 00:31:48,938
Are those... Those are
tears of joy, right?
806
00:31:52,660 --> 00:31:53,860
Maya, get the present.
807
00:31:55,029 --> 00:31:57,497
Maya, get with the
program, you millennial!
808
00:31:57,499 --> 00:31:59,406
Sorry, I got distracted by the crying.
809
00:31:59,431 --> 00:32:01,431
Maya, no one cares.
810
00:32:01,456 --> 00:32:03,006
Get the box!
811
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:12,875
Nine West heels, just
like Melanie Griffith.
812
00:32:18,383 --> 00:32:20,413
It's okay. It's okay.
813
00:32:20,438 --> 00:32:22,438
I'm her best friend, I
know exactly what to do.
814
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:26,225
Hey, what's the matter, sweetie, huh?
815
00:32:26,227 --> 00:32:27,894
What can I do to make it better?
816
00:32:27,896 --> 00:32:29,312
Do you want me to fire Maya?
817
00:32:29,314 --> 00:32:30,646
Huh?
818
00:32:30,648 --> 00:32:31,647
I don't really like her, anyway.
819
00:32:31,649 --> 00:32:33,773
- You know what?
- What?
820
00:32:34,485 --> 00:32:37,203
It's not that.
821
00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:39,476
I have something I have to do.
822
00:32:39,501 --> 00:32:41,898
Um... but listen...
823
00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:46,662
thank you, everybody, for this party...
824
00:32:46,664 --> 00:32:49,665
and these shoes.
825
00:32:49,667 --> 00:32:51,918
And thank you, Darryl.
826
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,640
You have been such a great friend.
827
00:32:55,312 --> 00:32:56,781
Your best friend?
828
00:32:57,055 --> 00:32:59,672
I mean, you made, you made
my dreams come true, so...
829
00:32:59,697 --> 00:33:01,321
Like a best friend. You can say it.
830
00:33:01,346 --> 00:33:03,563
Just say it, please.
831
00:33:41,937 --> 00:33:44,476
_
832
00:34:37,016 --> 00:34:39,099
Oh.
833
00:34:51,519 --> 00:34:54,405
_
834
00:34:56,616 --> 00:34:58,616
_
835
00:35:00,906 --> 00:35:02,406
What?!
836
00:35:06,245 --> 00:35:08,495
Well...
837
00:35:08,497 --> 00:35:10,085
this is fun.
838
00:35:10,585 --> 00:35:12,049
It's hard, man.
839
00:35:12,051 --> 00:35:13,917
You're moving... you
just sprung this on us.
840
00:35:13,919 --> 00:35:16,136
Yeah, this is huge.
841
00:35:16,138 --> 00:35:18,922
This is so huge.
842
00:35:30,686 --> 00:35:33,603
Guys, Atlanta's not that far,
843
00:35:33,605 --> 00:35:35,439
and I'll still be back
for Christmas and stuff.
844
00:35:35,441 --> 00:35:36,690
My dad's still here.
845
00:35:37,085 --> 00:35:38,408
I can't believe this
is really happening.
846
00:35:38,410 --> 00:35:40,077
No one ever leaves this place.
847
00:35:40,468 --> 00:35:41,945
I just don't understand why
you have to go right now.
848
00:35:41,947 --> 00:35:43,663
Like, right this second.
849
00:35:43,929 --> 00:35:45,949
I'm starting a Tuesday, Thursday
6:00 a.m. boot camp in the park
850
00:35:45,951 --> 00:35:48,168
and I just... I really
think you'd benefit from it.
851
00:35:48,515 --> 00:35:49,786
Guys, it's time.
852
00:35:50,562 --> 00:35:52,754
I need to get to
Atlanta, get settled in,
853
00:35:52,756 --> 00:35:55,790
meet Barry, all before my classes start.
854
00:35:56,046 --> 00:35:58,218
Barry sounds like a great guy.
855
00:35:58,428 --> 00:36:01,140
Guardrail and I really
think he'll be there for you.
856
00:36:01,465 --> 00:36:02,631
Thanks, Chris.
857
00:36:03,967 --> 00:36:07,018
Come on, come on!
858
00:36:07,020 --> 00:36:08,937
Oh, my God.
859
00:36:08,939 --> 00:36:10,605
Why don't people use... ?
860
00:36:10,607 --> 00:36:11,640
Okay.
861
00:36:12,643 --> 00:36:14,192
I gotta go, man.
862
00:36:14,194 --> 00:36:15,310
My mom's waiting outside,
863
00:36:15,312 --> 00:36:17,145
and she's parked in the red zone.
864
00:36:19,199 --> 00:36:21,116
Caw!
865
00:36:21,807 --> 00:36:24,653
Thanks for being my
weirdly older friend.
866
00:36:24,655 --> 00:36:26,369
No problem, man. Anytime.
867
00:36:27,991 --> 00:36:30,080
Well, I should head to the gate.
868
00:36:30,711 --> 00:36:31,994
I gotta go.
869
00:36:32,162 --> 00:36:33,791
My mom's also in the red zone.
870
00:36:36,166 --> 00:36:38,166
Yeah.
871
00:36:41,054 --> 00:36:45,537
WiJo, I hope to be half
the man you are someday.
872
00:36:45,562 --> 00:36:47,235
You're gonna have to
up your protein intake
873
00:36:47,260 --> 00:36:50,244
quite a bit, maybe start doing
some squats, something like...
874
00:36:50,814 --> 00:36:53,408
Oh, you meant that metaphorically.
875
00:36:54,101 --> 00:36:56,601
Um, that's nice. Thanks, man.
876
00:36:56,603 --> 00:36:58,518
No problem.
877
00:37:00,107 --> 00:37:02,240
What are you do... ? Oh, come on.
878
00:37:02,242 --> 00:37:03,858
Come on, just go, go!
879
00:37:03,860 --> 00:37:06,528
Go, go, go.
880
00:37:14,121 --> 00:37:16,901
You're the first friend I
ever made in my whole life.
881
00:37:19,209 --> 00:37:22,050
I feel like a part of
me is leaving town, too.
882
00:37:24,014 --> 00:37:27,932
If it gets too rough, you
can come back, you know.
883
00:37:27,934 --> 00:37:31,269
I-I did that. No one will judge you.
884
00:37:31,271 --> 00:37:34,889
I did. I judged you.
885
00:37:36,893 --> 00:37:38,216
Kidding.
886
00:37:40,647 --> 00:37:42,544
You're not coming back, are you?
887
00:37:42,816 --> 00:37:44,294
I don't think so.
888
00:37:45,569 --> 00:37:46,669
But thanks.
889
00:37:46,953 --> 00:37:49,154
Thanks for being a good friend, Chan.
890
00:37:49,156 --> 00:37:52,240
Are you crazy?
891
00:37:52,242 --> 00:37:54,325
I haven't been a good friend
to you in, like, months.
892
00:37:54,861 --> 00:37:56,795
After all the Rebecca stuff,
893
00:37:56,797 --> 00:37:58,630
I can't even believe
you still talk to me.
894
00:37:59,792 --> 00:38:01,243
It's okay.
895
00:38:05,422 --> 00:38:06,618
You sure?
896
00:38:07,527 --> 00:38:09,090
Yeah.
897
00:38:13,409 --> 00:38:15,309
All that's in the past now.
898
00:38:27,110 --> 00:38:29,277
I'm coming, Greg.
899
00:38:41,869 --> 00:38:43,591
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
900
00:38:43,593 --> 00:38:44,959
Sorry.
901
00:38:44,961 --> 00:38:47,345
Wait! Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
902
00:38:50,026 --> 00:38:52,338
Greg, wait! Wait! Wait!
903
00:38:53,019 --> 00:38:55,275
What happened? Where are you going?
904
00:39:10,426 --> 00:39:12,960
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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