Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,047 --> 00:00:04,131
Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
2
00:00:04,156 --> 00:00:05,381
Oh-oh!
3
00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:06,805
Whatever happened with you and your ex?
4
00:00:06,830 --> 00:00:08,062
Ex?
5
00:00:12,266 --> 00:00:14,062
Oh, Greg, I'm sorry.
6
00:00:14,525 --> 00:00:17,164
- Do you love her?
- No.
7
00:00:17,781 --> 00:00:19,345
You forgive me?
8
00:00:19,370 --> 00:00:21,404
Of course, I forgive you, Joshy.
9
00:00:21,476 --> 00:00:23,928
Love doesn't work out for me, ever.
10
00:00:23,953 --> 00:00:25,510
So you are unhappy.
11
00:00:25,512 --> 00:00:28,092
Yeah. Duh.
12
00:00:28,117 --> 00:00:30,710
Maybe it's time you
see what else is in your life,
13
00:00:30,735 --> 00:00:32,265
besides Josh Chan.
14
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:34,578
Oh, my gosh, you have changed my life,
15
00:00:34,603 --> 00:00:36,836
Dr. Dream Ghost Akopian.
16
00:00:37,092 --> 00:00:38,492
You made me see past
17
00:00:38,494 --> 00:00:40,093
all of my delusions that
were holding me back.
18
00:00:40,118 --> 00:00:41,784
Josh, you don't understand?
19
00:00:41,906 --> 00:00:43,598
You don't see what this has
20
00:00:43,623 --> 00:00:45,328
all been about for Rebecca?
21
00:00:46,103 --> 00:00:47,501
Rebecca,
22
00:00:47,956 --> 00:00:50,023
are you in love with me?
23
00:00:51,586 --> 00:00:54,387
♪ I was working hard
at a New York job ♪
24
00:00:54,389 --> 00:00:56,255
♪ Making dough but it made me blue ♪
25
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:57,756
♪ One day I was crying a lot ♪
26
00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:58,991
♪ And so I decided to move ♪
27
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,626
♪ To West Covina, California ♪
28
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:01,860
♪ Brand-new pals and new career ♪
29
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,196
♪ It happens to be where Josh lives ♪
30
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,565
♪ But that's not why I'm here ♪
31
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,734
- ♪ She's the crazy ex-girlfriend ♪
- What? No, I'm not.
32
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,602
♪ She's the crazy ex-girlfriend ♪
33
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:11,737
That's a sexist term.
34
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,238
♪ She's the crazy ex-girlfriend ♪
35
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,439
Can you guys stop
singing for just a second?
36
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:16,975
♪ She's so broken inside ♪
37
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,376
The situation's a lot
more nuanced than that.
38
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,545
♪ C-R-A-Z-Y ♪
39
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,913
Okay! We get it!
40
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,416
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
41
00:01:28,852 --> 00:01:30,919
Why do you have all these photos?
42
00:01:31,782 --> 00:01:33,547
Yep, okay, so here's what happened.
43
00:01:33,572 --> 00:01:35,516
I had...
44
00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:37,914
have...
45
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,306
had feelings for you, indeed, yes.
46
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,999
God, this is awkward, um,
47
00:01:45,797 --> 00:01:47,835
I came here to tell you that Valencia...
48
00:01:47,837 --> 00:01:49,104
Valencia and you are staying together.
49
00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:50,430
- No... I-I-I I gathered.
- Yeah.
50
00:01:50,455 --> 00:01:51,854
I get it and that makes sense, yeah.
51
00:01:52,274 --> 00:01:54,642
Josh, I'm actually
very glad you're here,
52
00:01:54,644 --> 00:01:58,032
because, um, I realized some
things on my recent trip.
53
00:01:58,057 --> 00:01:59,981
And, um, one of the things I realized
54
00:01:59,983 --> 00:02:01,716
is that I need to break my old patterns.
55
00:02:01,718 --> 00:02:03,016
Okay.
56
00:02:03,041 --> 00:02:04,808
Yes, uh, starting with...
57
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:10,067
I've been horrible to
Valencia, like, really horrible,
58
00:02:10,092 --> 00:02:12,659
and I really want to reach out to her.
59
00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:15,129
- I really wouldn't.
- I really think I should.
60
00:02:15,131 --> 00:02:18,232
She really hates your
guts. Understandable,
61
00:02:18,234 --> 00:02:21,135
and I will just have to transcend that.
62
00:02:23,030 --> 00:02:27,732
I am trying to break free of
anything unhealthy or damaging.
63
00:02:29,166 --> 00:02:32,868
So, um, that starts
with, uh, trashing these.
64
00:02:33,649 --> 00:02:34,860
Unless you want them.
65
00:02:34,885 --> 00:02:37,493
No, no, that's okay.
66
00:02:37,518 --> 00:02:39,117
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
67
00:02:39,142 --> 00:02:41,860
Although, um, you know, some
of those are great angles
68
00:02:41,885 --> 00:02:44,922
that you can't get
with a selfie, so, uh...
69
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,746
- Sure, yeah, yes.
- Yeah.
70
00:02:46,771 --> 00:02:47,969
Thanks.
71
00:02:48,157 --> 00:02:49,383
Okay, well, there it is.
72
00:02:49,408 --> 00:02:51,230
That's the last of the Josh Chan stuff.
73
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:52,865
There was stuff?
74
00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,032
No.
75
00:02:56,371 --> 00:02:58,250
Well, I guess I should go.
76
00:02:58,275 --> 00:02:59,976
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course, get out.
77
00:03:00,001 --> 00:03:02,649
- Get out of here.
- Yeah, yeah.
78
00:03:03,943 --> 00:03:05,360
Bye, Josh.
79
00:03:23,157 --> 00:03:25,679
Can I get another beer?
I'm trying to study.
80
00:03:25,899 --> 00:03:29,172
Studying and drinking at
the same time: good decision.
81
00:03:29,197 --> 00:03:30,530
I know, right?
82
00:03:30,555 --> 00:03:33,154
It's easy. It's extension school.
83
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:35,707
I-I don't like to tell
a lot of people this,
84
00:03:35,709 --> 00:03:37,675
but I got into Emory Business School.
85
00:03:37,677 --> 00:03:39,110
It's a pretty good school.
86
00:03:39,112 --> 00:03:40,860
They call it like the
Harvard of the South.
87
00:03:40,885 --> 00:03:42,883
I thought the Harvard of
the South was Vanderbilt.
88
00:03:42,908 --> 00:03:46,275
No. No. No.
89
00:03:46,461 --> 00:03:51,000
Yeah, so I got into school,
and then my dad got sick,
90
00:03:51,025 --> 00:03:53,901
so now I'm working my
way through school here.
91
00:03:54,086 --> 00:03:56,059
You know? I can't be slinging
92
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:59,141
drinks to losers until
I'm like 60 years old.
93
00:04:05,534 --> 00:04:08,289
Oh, boy, look at this. Just what I need.
94
00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:12,289
- Hi.
- Hey.
95
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,798
I thought you drank at Home Base.
96
00:04:15,414 --> 00:04:19,297
I drink anywhere, but I
do my study-drinking here.
97
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:20,853
Got it.
98
00:04:20,977 --> 00:04:22,250
Can I pull up a stool next to you,
99
00:04:22,275 --> 00:04:24,063
or do you want to... be alone?
100
00:04:24,088 --> 00:04:25,758
I could go home and
drink some mouthwash.
101
00:04:25,783 --> 00:04:27,290
Mouthwash, wow.
102
00:04:27,292 --> 00:04:29,225
That's almost as sad as a girl coming to
103
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,579
a strange bar by herself.
104
00:04:30,894 --> 00:04:34,095
Sad says the man with
an open textbook...
105
00:04:34,532 --> 00:04:36,543
next to an open container.
106
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,400
This is fun. I like this.
107
00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,493
Do you want to hang out for
a while and insult each other?
108
00:04:40,518 --> 00:04:42,774
Ah, what would your
girlfriend think about that?
109
00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:45,934
Um, Heather? Uh, yeah,
no, we're done-zo.
110
00:04:47,311 --> 00:04:49,145
Oh, wow. I had no idea.
111
00:04:49,147 --> 00:04:50,407
Can I get you a drink?
112
00:04:50,511 --> 00:04:53,292
Nothing goes better with a
fine lager than a little snark.
113
00:04:53,317 --> 00:04:54,783
Wait. Go back to the Heather thing.
114
00:04:54,785 --> 00:04:56,451
Are you okay? Let's-let-let's talk.
115
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:59,039
Talk is not on the bar menu,
116
00:04:59,064 --> 00:05:00,264
but we could ask.
117
00:05:00,572 --> 00:05:02,688
Okay, so, yeah, here's the thing.
118
00:05:03,313 --> 00:05:06,038
Old me would have been totally down
119
00:05:06,063 --> 00:05:08,029
for, like, an old-fashioned barb fest,
120
00:05:08,031 --> 00:05:09,598
but I've decided recently
121
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,233
that I'm trying to change my patterns.
122
00:05:13,284 --> 00:05:15,329
So I'm gonna go.
123
00:05:16,639 --> 00:05:18,539
No, come on. Come on.
124
00:05:18,541 --> 00:05:20,054
I'm a glutton for punishment.
125
00:05:20,079 --> 00:05:21,985
Stay. Let's do this.
126
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,475
We can make bad decisions together.
127
00:05:23,942 --> 00:05:26,360
We could run in traffic.
128
00:05:27,571 --> 00:05:29,583
No? Okay.
129
00:05:29,585 --> 00:05:31,883
Boy, she really digs you.
130
00:05:31,908 --> 00:05:33,275
She's in love with someone else,
131
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:36,034
but I figure ten, 11 years of me trying,
132
00:05:36,059 --> 00:05:37,525
I'm a lock.
133
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,071
Okay, what is happening?
134
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,035
Why are you throwing
out all this Josh stuff?
135
00:05:48,037 --> 00:05:49,903
I told you, I've gone
cold turkey on the Chan.
136
00:05:49,905 --> 00:05:52,399
I'm done. It's not good
for me, and you know that.
137
00:05:52,808 --> 00:05:55,579
D... oh, G... you have to
keep the macaroni portrait.
138
00:05:55,604 --> 00:05:56,750
That took two weeks.
139
00:05:56,775 --> 00:05:58,985
No, no, Paula, I'm
breaking my old patterns.
140
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:01,209
Break old pat... I...
What does that even mean?
141
00:06:01,234 --> 00:06:03,034
Did you go to a bumper sticker store?
142
00:06:03,059 --> 00:06:05,891
No, I just realized a lot of
things on my trip to New York,
143
00:06:06,688 --> 00:06:08,555
while I was in a bumper sticker store.
144
00:06:09,422 --> 00:06:10,623
Okay, but you're right
about this, actually,
145
00:06:10,625 --> 00:06:12,325
it has a lot of dry goods on it,
146
00:06:12,327 --> 00:06:13,593
it actually could be useful
for my earthquake kit,
147
00:06:13,595 --> 00:06:14,894
- so I will keep this.
- That's my girl.
148
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:16,399
But everything else goes in the trash.
149
00:06:16,697 --> 00:06:18,704
- Hmm, hmm.
- Oh, come on.
150
00:06:18,729 --> 00:06:22,336
Not Channy bear. I forbid it.
151
00:06:23,803 --> 00:06:25,269
Fine, maybe I'll just put Channy bear
152
00:06:25,294 --> 00:06:29,352
on a high shelf in case
of a... bear-mergency.
153
00:06:30,219 --> 00:06:31,944
But the rest of this is going, bye.
154
00:06:31,946 --> 00:06:33,111
- Oh, come on...
- Bye, letters to Josh.
155
00:06:33,113 --> 00:06:34,380
First drafts, second drafts.
156
00:06:34,382 --> 00:06:35,614
- In the trash.
- No.
157
00:06:35,616 --> 00:06:36,648
- Yep.
- That's...
158
00:06:36,650 --> 00:06:37,813
- That's insanity.
- Nope. Nope.
159
00:06:37,838 --> 00:06:39,184
Good-bye, Josh thong
160
00:06:39,186 --> 00:06:40,486
that I never wo... I don't wear thongs.
161
00:06:40,488 --> 00:06:41,313
Why did I even get this?
162
00:06:41,338 --> 00:06:42,797
You have finally lost it.
163
00:06:42,822 --> 00:06:44,990
You have left the reservation
and I-I can't... I'm not...
164
00:06:44,992 --> 00:06:46,458
I can't watch it. I
don't care. I don't care.
165
00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:48,494
I'm not supporting this. No, uh-uh.
166
00:07:00,172 --> 00:07:04,109
Hey... I'm so nervous, aren't you?
167
00:07:04,111 --> 00:07:05,810
That last test...
168
00:07:05,812 --> 00:07:07,912
Was pretty easy, at least for me.
169
00:07:07,914 --> 00:07:09,847
Wow, that's impressive.
170
00:07:09,849 --> 00:07:11,549
You must be smart.
171
00:07:11,551 --> 00:07:12,983
Yeah, well.
172
00:07:12,985 --> 00:07:15,188
I-I don't like to tell
people this, but, um...
173
00:07:15,213 --> 00:07:17,297
Oh, you don't have to tell me
something you don't like to...
174
00:07:17,322 --> 00:07:19,490
I got into the Harvard of the South.
175
00:07:19,735 --> 00:07:21,992
Emory? You know it?
176
00:07:21,994 --> 00:07:22,860
Emory?
177
00:07:22,885 --> 00:07:24,494
The Harvard of the South is Duke.
178
00:07:24,496 --> 00:07:27,875
No. No, no. Emory. Google it.
179
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,767
So, everyone,
180
00:07:29,842 --> 00:07:32,943
overall there were some nice efforts,
181
00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:37,063
but, uh, some of you, I'm
sad to say, fell short.
182
00:07:44,716 --> 00:07:47,150
I'm really not sure
what rubric you're using
183
00:07:47,152 --> 00:07:48,985
to grade these, but...
184
00:07:48,987 --> 00:07:50,587
Doesn't take much of a rubric to see
185
00:07:50,589 --> 00:07:52,155
that you didn't put in
much of an effort here.
186
00:07:52,469 --> 00:07:55,024
Oh, well, you know, I work full-time.
187
00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:56,259
My dad is sick.
188
00:07:56,261 --> 00:07:58,469
I work two jobs and my husband is dead.
189
00:07:59,454 --> 00:08:01,564
I am very sorry to hear that,
190
00:08:01,566 --> 00:08:03,799
but I... was not involved.
191
00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:06,169
Your next assignment
is an essay due Friday.
192
00:08:06,171 --> 00:08:08,204
You can do better, Mr. Serrano.
193
00:08:08,206 --> 00:08:10,340
You got into the Harvard
of the South, after all,
194
00:08:10,342 --> 00:08:13,164
which you somehow managed
to mention on your test.
195
00:08:13,778 --> 00:08:15,438
A multiple choice test.
196
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:17,880
So, you're busting my balls
197
00:08:17,882 --> 00:08:20,549
about an intro class
at an extension school?
198
00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:22,284
Cool, yeah. Makes sense.
199
00:08:22,286 --> 00:08:26,021
Look, I don't know you very
well, but from where I stand,
200
00:08:26,282 --> 00:08:28,758
it seems like you've made the
choice not to try or something.
201
00:08:28,783 --> 00:08:31,460
Oh, please, don't you
worry about my decisions.
202
00:08:31,462 --> 00:08:34,024
I will decide about my decisions.
203
00:08:39,703 --> 00:08:41,891
Choosing not to try, Greg.
204
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:44,506
You got into Emory, Greg.
205
00:08:44,508 --> 00:08:46,273
I mean, duh, I could have done better.
206
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:49,110
I could have gotten an “A”
on that test if I'd wanted to.
207
00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,546
♪ Whoop-de-frickin'-do,
an “A” ♪
208
00:08:51,548 --> 00:08:54,281
♪ What's an “A”? It's
just a letter on a page ♪
209
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,384
♪ Meant to distract
us from the pain ♪
210
00:08:56,386 --> 00:08:58,853
♪ But it's not like any “A”
can make a difference in the day ♪
211
00:08:58,855 --> 00:09:01,055
♪ Sure, I could get an “A”
if I wanted to get an “A” ♪
212
00:09:01,057 --> 00:09:02,189
♪ But who cares about an “A”? ♪
213
00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:03,657
♪ I don't ♪
214
00:09:03,682 --> 00:09:05,316
♪ I don't care ♪
215
00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:06,473
♪ Although I could
have made that grade ♪
216
00:09:06,498 --> 00:09:07,697
♪ If I did care ♪
217
00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:09,289
♪ But I don't ♪
218
00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:13,734
♪ But I could if I wanted to ♪
219
00:09:13,736 --> 00:09:15,536
♪ Whoop-de-frickin'-do ♪
220
00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:18,405
♪ Look at this guy in the
red and blue striped tie ♪
221
00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:20,073
♪ Making millions till he dies ♪
222
00:09:20,075 --> 00:09:22,543
♪ Selling bonds and stocks
to other guys in ties ♪
223
00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:24,545
♪ Who have millions
with which to buy ♪
224
00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:25,846
♪ A bunch of bonds
and stocks and ties ♪
225
00:09:25,848 --> 00:09:27,280
♪ I'd rather die ♪
226
00:09:27,282 --> 00:09:28,649
♪ Which I will
eventually, of course ♪
227
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,517
♪ But in the meantime ♪
228
00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:33,477
♪ I could make millions selling
stocks and bonds and ties ♪
229
00:09:33,502 --> 00:09:35,055
♪ If I tried ♪
230
00:09:35,057 --> 00:09:36,556
♪ But I don't ♪
231
00:09:36,558 --> 00:09:39,243
♪ But I could, but I don't ♪
232
00:09:40,628 --> 00:09:44,041
♪ But I could if I wanted to ♪
233
00:09:44,066 --> 00:09:45,891
♪ Yeah ♪
234
00:09:46,507 --> 00:09:49,342
♪ Yeah, I could if I wanted to ♪
235
00:09:49,367 --> 00:09:50,930
♪ Who cares? ♪
236
00:09:53,251 --> 00:09:55,752
♪ Whoop-de-frickin'-do ♪
237
00:09:55,777 --> 00:09:57,043
♪ A happy dad ♪
238
00:09:57,045 --> 00:09:58,410
♪ With his big dad calves ♪
239
00:09:58,412 --> 00:09:59,779
♪ And his stupid baseball cap ♪
240
00:09:59,781 --> 00:10:01,080
♪ And his T-ball shirt ♪
241
00:10:01,082 --> 00:10:02,949
♪ And dumb-ass son
throwing a ball ♪
242
00:10:02,951 --> 00:10:05,685
♪ Like it's so important to
know how to throw a ball ♪
243
00:10:05,687 --> 00:10:07,186
♪ Whoop-de-frickin'-do ♪
244
00:10:07,188 --> 00:10:08,620
♪ Who cares about throwing a ball ♪
245
00:10:08,622 --> 00:10:09,888
♪ Or having a kid ♪
246
00:10:09,890 --> 00:10:11,390
♪ It'll get you nowhere in life ♪
247
00:10:11,392 --> 00:10:13,325
♪ Not like getting
anywhere matters ♪
248
00:10:13,327 --> 00:10:15,743
♪ Although I guess
it does if you care ♪
249
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,586
♪ Which I don't ♪
250
00:10:19,087 --> 00:10:20,922
♪ But I could, but I don't ♪
251
00:10:21,597 --> 00:10:24,298
♪ But I could if I wanted to ♪
252
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:25,868
♪ Yeah ♪
253
00:10:27,207 --> 00:10:30,575
♪ Whoop-de-frickin'-do
if I wanted to ♪
254
00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:32,993
♪ This song sucks ♪
255
00:10:33,018 --> 00:10:36,430
♪ I could make it
good if I wanted to ♪
256
00:10:36,455 --> 00:10:38,008
♪ Yeah ♪
257
00:10:39,025 --> 00:10:42,726
♪ Yeah, I could if I wanted to. ♪
258
00:10:46,859 --> 00:10:48,422
I could do that if I wanted to.
259
00:10:49,462 --> 00:10:50,868
You're an idiot.
260
00:10:56,079 --> 00:10:58,245
Oh, my God, this is nuts.
261
00:10:58,270 --> 00:10:59,937
Okay, you can't give
up on Josh right now.
262
00:10:59,939 --> 00:11:01,102
You are so close.
263
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,125
Paula, he picked Valencia.
264
00:11:03,442 --> 00:11:05,185
Like, in front of my face.
265
00:11:05,821 --> 00:11:06,944
Game over.
266
00:11:06,946 --> 00:11:08,211
What? No.
267
00:11:08,213 --> 00:11:09,625
Game has just begun.
268
00:11:09,807 --> 00:11:12,426
Okay, you have antibodies to his saliva.
269
00:11:12,451 --> 00:11:14,438
You cannot give up. You have traction.
270
00:11:14,487 --> 00:11:16,773
He-he touched the side
of your boob, I saw it.
271
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,324
- Can you get whoever that...
- Yeah, I will get that.
272
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:24,494
And... just... let's continue
the convo later, okay?
273
00:11:24,496 --> 00:11:26,763
And if it's the people across
the street from that church,
274
00:11:26,765 --> 00:11:28,539
just tell them I don't
believe and will never believe.
275
00:11:29,247 --> 00:11:31,147
Rebecca.
276
00:11:31,922 --> 00:11:34,704
Hello, everyone in Josh's family.
277
00:11:34,706 --> 00:11:36,605
Hi. Oh, my gosh.
278
00:11:36,607 --> 00:11:39,414
I haven't seen you
since the last book club.
279
00:11:39,439 --> 00:11:41,410
I haven't
seen you got engaged.
280
00:11:41,412 --> 00:11:42,812
How does it feel?
281
00:11:42,814 --> 00:11:44,113
It feels like I've
been waiting seven years
282
00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:46,329
for Phillip to propose, because I have.
283
00:11:47,361 --> 00:11:48,493
Let me see the rock.
284
00:11:48,748 --> 00:11:50,182
Oh, my gosh, I mean,
285
00:11:50,207 --> 00:11:51,839
Phillip said he was going
for it, but...
286
00:11:52,022 --> 00:11:53,822
He said you were so helpful getting it.
287
00:11:53,824 --> 00:11:54,990
Oh, it was no problem at all.
288
00:11:54,992 --> 00:11:56,086
I helped my client, Moshe,
289
00:11:56,111 --> 00:11:57,859
through a very complicated
subdivision deal,
290
00:11:57,861 --> 00:11:59,094
and he said he could hook me up
291
00:11:59,096 --> 00:12:00,641
with non-blood diamonds at a discount.
292
00:12:00,864 --> 00:12:02,998
And never pass up a
good discount, right?
293
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,167
I know what you're thinking...
Like, diamonds, discounts,
294
00:12:05,169 --> 00:12:07,586
those are some like
classic Jew moves, you know?
295
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:10,906
What are you doing here?
296
00:12:10,908 --> 00:12:13,188
Jayma has something to ask you.
297
00:12:13,594 --> 00:12:16,477
Look, I know that this is sudden,
298
00:12:16,479 --> 00:12:19,172
and we haven't known
each other that long...
299
00:12:19,349 --> 00:12:21,616
God, I feel like I'm
proposing or something.
300
00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:24,094
You've been such a good
friend to the family.
301
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:27,007
You wrote Jastenity that
letter to get into Harvard.
302
00:12:27,032 --> 00:12:30,055
Unfortunately the letter was
better than her application,
303
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,759
but she did get into
Cal State Northridge,
304
00:12:31,761 --> 00:12:33,794
which is the Harvard of Northridge.
305
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:34,962
Yeah, it is.
306
00:12:34,964 --> 00:12:35,750
There we go.
307
00:12:35,775 --> 00:12:37,664
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is,
308
00:12:38,096 --> 00:12:40,899
how would you like to be
a bridesmaid at my wedding?
309
00:12:43,239 --> 00:12:44,493
You mean,
310
00:12:44,518 --> 00:12:45,817
be an official part
of the Chan fam-bam?
311
00:12:45,842 --> 00:12:47,391
She'd love to.
312
00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:52,246
You want me to be a bridesmaid.
313
00:12:52,248 --> 00:12:55,249
Aw, you're such a lovely girl, Rebecca.
314
00:12:55,251 --> 00:12:57,584
We would be so honored if you would
315
00:12:57,586 --> 00:12:59,486
become a part of our family wedding.
316
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:00,854
And you are the perfect height
317
00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:02,289
to pair with Phillip's friend, Daniel,
318
00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:04,164
who stopped growing
after being a kid gymnast.
319
00:13:05,039 --> 00:13:07,719
Um, actually,
320
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:09,840
I-I don't know if I should.
321
00:13:09,865 --> 00:13:10,357
Oh.
322
00:13:10,382 --> 00:13:11,832
Okay, hey, why don't we just... ?
323
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,567
O-One second, Chan ladies.
324
00:13:14,569 --> 00:13:15,902
Come here. One...
325
00:13:15,904 --> 00:13:16,993
One-one second.
326
00:13:18,289 --> 00:13:19,806
Okay, this would kill Valencia.
327
00:13:19,808 --> 00:13:20,840
Dead. Down in the ground.
328
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,375
Like a bug. Legs in the air.
329
00:13:22,377 --> 00:13:23,709
Now she's a ghost, boo.
330
00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:25,245
Okay, but, Paula, what
have I been saying?
331
00:13:25,247 --> 00:13:27,880
I need to disengage and
disentangle from dis family.
332
00:13:27,882 --> 00:13:28,930
Know what I'm saying?
333
00:13:28,955 --> 00:13:31,517
Seriously, I-I want to
make amends to Valencia,
334
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:33,047
and this is like the opposite of that.
335
00:13:33,072 --> 00:13:35,053
Yeah, okay, well, who says
no to being a bridesmaid?
336
00:13:35,055 --> 00:13:36,086
You can't do that.
337
00:13:36,111 --> 00:13:37,594
I mean, who does that? Monster people.
338
00:13:39,394 --> 00:13:41,227
- I have a question.
- No.
339
00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:42,829
Is Valencia a bridesmaid?
340
00:13:42,854 --> 00:13:44,840
Uh, not exactly.
341
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,031
By that she means no.
342
00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:47,532
Like, ew, no.
343
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,467
Here's the thing, I-I'd
love to be a bridesmaid,
344
00:13:49,469 --> 00:13:51,136
but I don't think it would be fair
345
00:13:51,138 --> 00:13:53,102
for me to be a bridesmaid
and for Valencia not to be.
346
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,873
I guess you're right.
347
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,775
And Josh has asked for Valencia
348
00:13:56,777 --> 00:13:58,443
to be a bridesmaid about 50 times, so...
349
00:13:58,445 --> 00:14:00,719
Great, so you get
what I'm trying to say.
350
00:14:01,055 --> 00:14:03,247
So you can both be in the wedding.
351
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:04,683
Sorry, what's that?
352
00:14:04,685 --> 00:14:06,017
Pardonnez-moi?
353
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,055
You and Valencia can
both be bridesmaids.
354
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,622
That way you don't have to worry
about her not being included.
355
00:14:10,624 --> 00:14:12,691
Very wise, Jayma.
356
00:14:12,693 --> 00:14:13,891
It's settled, then.
357
00:14:13,893 --> 00:14:17,571
Yeah, it is!
358
00:14:25,461 --> 00:14:27,055
H-H-Hey.
359
00:14:27,278 --> 00:14:29,579
I know you, from Spider's.
360
00:14:29,899 --> 00:14:31,447
You were the sourpuss
361
00:14:31,449 --> 00:14:33,274
fighting with the girl
in the shiny dress.
362
00:14:33,551 --> 00:14:36,085
Hey, I'm, I'm not a sourpuss.
363
00:14:36,087 --> 00:14:38,454
I'm pensive and deep.
364
00:14:38,456 --> 00:14:39,654
Are you dusting potatoes?
365
00:14:40,219 --> 00:14:41,430
I like to look busy.
366
00:14:41,455 --> 00:14:43,588
Well, you're out of dark roast.
367
00:14:43,808 --> 00:14:45,680
I can't study without dark roast.
368
00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:47,219
Could you get on that?
369
00:14:47,598 --> 00:14:51,400
Oh, yeah, sure, uh, no problemo.
370
00:14:51,402 --> 00:14:52,696
Thanks.
371
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,227
Hi.
372
00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,133
She's cute.
373
00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:08,316
Are we being pleasant now?
374
00:15:08,318 --> 00:15:10,118
Sorry, I don't know your rules.
375
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,547
So, you two an item?
376
00:15:11,813 --> 00:15:14,647
Me and Ally? Oh, I wish.
377
00:15:14,922 --> 00:15:16,157
She quit her job
378
00:15:16,159 --> 00:15:18,759
as a manager at a Whole
Foods, came to work here.
379
00:15:18,761 --> 00:15:21,063
I could not figure out
why for the longest time.
380
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,766
And then I realized...
381
00:15:27,349 --> 00:15:28,989
Hey, I know that guy.
382
00:15:29,014 --> 00:15:32,483
♪ Grocery clerk with
half an eyelid. ♪
383
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,263
His name is Brody.
384
00:15:35,745 --> 00:15:37,011
I can't compete with him.
385
00:15:37,864 --> 00:15:41,148
He has the flattop of a Greek god.
386
00:15:41,466 --> 00:15:44,451
This!
387
00:15:44,453 --> 00:15:46,319
Whoa, you are so good at magic.
388
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,161
How do you do it?
389
00:15:47,186 --> 00:15:49,747
Uh-uh-uh. A true magician
never reveals his secrets.
390
00:15:50,192 --> 00:15:51,391
Come on, Brody.
391
00:15:51,393 --> 00:15:52,792
So you like her.
392
00:15:52,794 --> 00:15:53,786
Yeah.
393
00:15:54,063 --> 00:15:55,295
I don't have a shot.
394
00:15:55,297 --> 00:15:56,747
I mean, look at her.
395
00:15:57,299 --> 00:15:58,372
I should give up.
396
00:15:58,629 --> 00:15:59,894
I know that's the right decision.
397
00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:02,345
Are you sure... she doesn't like you?
398
00:16:02,903 --> 00:16:04,103
Watch this.
399
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:05,471
Ally.
400
00:16:05,888 --> 00:16:07,106
Ally.
401
00:16:07,108 --> 00:16:08,739
Ally, though.
402
00:16:10,107 --> 00:16:11,806
That's my type, too.
403
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,358
Ally.
404
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,403
Oh, that's so hot.
405
00:16:17,428 --> 00:16:19,428
Okay, bro, I gotcha.
406
00:16:19,897 --> 00:16:21,950
I know exactly what you need to do.
407
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:29,200
So, you and Valencia are friends?
408
00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:31,833
Uh, kinda.
409
00:16:32,615 --> 00:16:35,349
I'd say we share a history
of common interests.
410
00:16:35,469 --> 00:16:36,919
Of course, she's late.
411
00:16:36,944 --> 00:16:39,347
She's the kind of person
that has to make an entrance.
412
00:16:39,372 --> 00:16:41,206
You know what? I don't
think that's fair.
413
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,802
I wouldn't stereotype
her as someone that...
414
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,817
Oh, sorry I'm late.
415
00:16:44,842 --> 00:16:46,344
I just had some pictures taken
416
00:16:46,346 --> 00:16:48,313
for my Hometown Hotties
submission to Maxim.
417
00:16:48,315 --> 00:16:49,514
Ugh.
418
00:16:51,055 --> 00:16:53,088
We ready to try on some dresses?
419
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,512
Jas, come on.
420
00:16:54,537 --> 00:16:56,637
Let's go pick out the
first round of dresses.
421
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:01,593
This is beautiful.
422
00:17:02,950 --> 00:17:04,996
- Hey.
- Whoa!
423
00:17:04,998 --> 00:17:07,164
Hey, Valencia, hi, oh,
424
00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:08,699
uh, this is going to be so fun.
425
00:17:08,701 --> 00:17:10,768
Are you ready to be,
like, bridesmaid buddies?
426
00:17:11,474 --> 00:17:13,411
I want to make myself very, very clear.
427
00:17:13,436 --> 00:17:14,268
Okay.
428
00:17:14,548 --> 00:17:16,081
I know what happened.
429
00:17:16,106 --> 00:17:17,639
I know about the kiss.
430
00:17:17,797 --> 00:17:19,664
And if it were any other situation,
431
00:17:19,689 --> 00:17:22,055
I would take off my earrings,
my extensions, and my wings,
432
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,513
and curb-stomp you.
433
00:17:24,082 --> 00:17:25,982
Got it, that's fair.
434
00:17:25,984 --> 00:17:27,417
But, for some reason, you're the one
435
00:17:27,419 --> 00:17:28,752
that got me into this wedding party.
436
00:17:28,754 --> 00:17:29,942
Josh told me it was all you.
437
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:31,255
- He did?
- Yep. I mean,
438
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:34,083
I don't know why you
did it, but I don't care.
439
00:17:34,108 --> 00:17:35,540
Just stay out of my way
440
00:17:35,565 --> 00:17:37,565
and don't make me look
bad to these people.
441
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,935
Hey, Valencia, I can
do better than that.
442
00:17:42,317 --> 00:17:43,967
I can make you look good.
443
00:17:43,969 --> 00:17:46,670
Yeah, yeah, like, by the end of this,
444
00:17:46,672 --> 00:17:48,237
they're going to want to adopt you.
445
00:17:48,965 --> 00:17:51,715
But maybe that's not, like,
precisely what you want, but...
446
00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:52,939
Oh, just shut up.
447
00:17:52,966 --> 00:17:54,099
Okay.
448
00:17:57,365 --> 00:17:58,731
How about this?
449
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,066
This seems like a style
450
00:18:00,068 --> 00:18:01,177
that would work on everyone. Well,
451
00:18:01,202 --> 00:18:02,602
most of us.
452
00:18:02,996 --> 00:18:04,013
Valencia's right.
453
00:18:04,038 --> 00:18:06,317
Uh, you know, uh, two-piece,
454
00:18:06,342 --> 00:18:10,708
halter, mesh dress might work
well for you very lean ladies,
455
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:13,872
but, yeah, not for this
festival of back fat going on.
456
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,302
Okay, well,
457
00:18:18,327 --> 00:18:19,861
what about... this?
458
00:18:20,386 --> 00:18:21,832
Oh, my God.
459
00:18:21,857 --> 00:18:24,138
Those are such beautiful nipple covers.
460
00:18:24,163 --> 00:18:25,474
Yeah, those would definitely cover
461
00:18:25,507 --> 00:18:26,786
most of my nipples.
462
00:18:26,811 --> 00:18:28,411
Yeah, guys, let me remind you,
463
00:18:28,436 --> 00:18:31,192
I eat bagels at night... Valencia knows.
464
00:18:31,217 --> 00:18:33,183
She knows all about my
night bagels... tell 'em, V.
465
00:18:33,867 --> 00:18:35,200
Here's what you didn't know.
466
00:18:35,202 --> 00:18:36,099
For my midnight bagel,
467
00:18:36,124 --> 00:18:38,391
I eat it with butter,
cream cheese, and...
468
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:40,419
bacon.
469
00:18:40,444 --> 00:18:41,802
Seriously. S-R-S-L-Y.
470
00:18:41,827 --> 00:18:43,027
Like, true story.
471
00:18:43,606 --> 00:18:45,575
Okay, so why don't we
472
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,567
try different styles in the same color?
473
00:18:47,592 --> 00:18:49,559
That's a great idea. That's so Ni...
474
00:18:49,584 --> 00:18:51,138
You know what? I'm
gonna go out on a limb
475
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:53,163
and say that's, like, really gracious.
476
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,263
It is, actually, a,
477
00:18:55,358 --> 00:18:56,624
a good idea.
478
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,051
That's the plan.
479
00:18:58,076 --> 00:18:59,642
So you kids can go crazy
480
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:02,267
with your halters and your
sheaths and your cutouts,
481
00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:05,310
and I will wear a dress
fit to upholster a chair.
482
00:19:05,335 --> 00:19:07,068
And I will wear it with pride.
483
00:19:07,093 --> 00:19:08,459
Rebecca, come on.
484
00:19:08,484 --> 00:19:10,450
Yeah, you're not that disgustingly fat.
485
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,567
Aw, thank you, Valencia.
486
00:19:12,592 --> 00:19:16,153
Thank you.
487
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,761
Paula.
488
00:19:24,951 --> 00:19:26,646
What have we said about standing places,
489
00:19:26,671 --> 00:19:27,905
quietly waiting for people?
490
00:19:28,205 --> 00:19:29,442
I forgot.
491
00:19:30,389 --> 00:19:33,083
Okay, so how did it go with
Valencia at the dress shop?
492
00:19:33,108 --> 00:19:34,707
Did you find any weaknesses?
493
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:36,771
I was thinking that we could
use your role as bridesmaid
494
00:19:36,878 --> 00:19:38,311
to really mess her up.
495
00:19:38,336 --> 00:19:42,138
My first thought was
poison oak in the dress.
496
00:19:42,163 --> 00:19:43,873
Rashy nips, instant classic. Paula.
497
00:19:43,897 --> 00:19:45,763
What? We're not doing any of that.
498
00:19:45,945 --> 00:19:47,356
- We're not.
- No.
499
00:19:47,777 --> 00:19:50,011
We're just acting like normal people.
500
00:19:50,036 --> 00:19:51,936
I'm going to be like any other teenage
501
00:19:51,961 --> 00:19:53,894
ex-boyfriend's sister's
last-minute bridesmaid.
502
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:55,903
Yeah, so just be cool.
503
00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:58,786
Understood. I have my orders.
504
00:20:02,139 --> 00:20:04,807
Where can a person buy poison oak,
505
00:20:04,832 --> 00:20:06,935
and what is the rashiest kind?
506
00:20:07,678 --> 00:20:09,599
Richard Kind is a 59-year-old actor,
507
00:20:09,624 --> 00:20:11,606
best known for his role in Spin City.
508
00:20:11,631 --> 00:20:15,161
No. Poison oak, rashiest kind.
509
00:20:15,957 --> 00:20:18,224
Jim Rash is the award-winning
writer of The Descendants.
510
00:20:18,882 --> 00:20:20,449
Come on.
511
00:20:21,182 --> 00:20:23,048
You're sure this is a good idea?
512
00:20:23,128 --> 00:20:24,961
Dude, she doesn't like you.
513
00:20:25,013 --> 00:20:26,380
She's shown no interest.
514
00:20:26,382 --> 00:20:28,047
She's way into someone else.
515
00:20:28,049 --> 00:20:29,896
Why give up now?
516
00:20:30,576 --> 00:20:32,910
This is the right move.
517
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,747
Um, can I have everyone's
attention, please?
518
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:40,105
Hey! Hey!
519
00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:42,692
Hey, someone's trying
to let it rip here.
520
00:20:43,271 --> 00:20:44,950
- Thank you, Greg.
- You're welcome.
521
00:20:47,138 --> 00:20:48,935
This goes out to a young lady
522
00:20:49,038 --> 00:20:51,286
currently restocking feminine products.
523
00:20:51,763 --> 00:20:53,927
It's called “Clean Up on Aisle 4.”
524
00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:56,427
Not an actual cleanup, Rick.
525
00:20:58,021 --> 00:21:01,716
♪ Clean up my heart on Aisle 4 ♪
526
00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:06,218
♪ 'Cause that's where it lays
in a heap of green olives ♪
527
00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:08,302
♪ From the olive bar ♪
528
00:21:08,903 --> 00:21:11,911
♪ 'Cause I'm the pimento to your olive ♪
529
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:15,231
♪ I want to be inside of you ♪
530
00:21:16,430 --> 00:21:19,473
♪ But instead my
heart is on the floor ♪
531
00:21:19,498 --> 00:21:24,091
♪ Being crushed like ♪
♪ The garlic we sell by the door. ♪
532
00:21:24,352 --> 00:21:26,752
Oh, my God, it's working.
533
00:21:30,884 --> 00:21:34,028
Look out, everybody, it's my body!
534
00:21:41,087 --> 00:21:42,920
Whee! Teach me, teach me!
535
00:21:43,071 --> 00:21:44,370
Uh-uh, it's too hard.
536
00:21:45,249 --> 00:21:46,997
You didn't tell me he was a gymnast.
537
00:21:47,022 --> 00:21:48,688
He can do anything.
538
00:21:59,091 --> 00:22:02,013
Eh, can we get back to
work, or am I boring you?
539
00:22:02,038 --> 00:22:03,504
I am so sor... I'm sor... it's a...
540
00:22:03,529 --> 00:22:05,755
it's a bridesmaid text chain.
541
00:22:05,779 --> 00:22:07,879
It's about... it's about
the word “cummerbund”"
542
00:22:07,881 --> 00:22:09,114
It's... it's a funny word.
543
00:22:09,116 --> 00:22:10,122
Sorry. Let's get back to the case.
544
00:22:10,147 --> 00:22:11,312
The case? Who cares about the case?
545
00:22:11,337 --> 00:22:12,536
When are you getting
the bridesmaid gowns?
546
00:22:12,568 --> 00:22:14,247
'Cause I got a guy in Maine
547
00:22:14,272 --> 00:22:17,106
who's going to send me some
primo itchy, sticky plants.
548
00:22:17,334 --> 00:22:19,668
And he said he was going to
throw in a couple deer ticks
549
00:22:19,670 --> 00:22:21,777
for, you know, a little extra...
550
00:22:21,802 --> 00:22:24,306
Um, what are you talking about?
551
00:22:24,308 --> 00:22:25,873
Our plan - rashy nips.
552
00:22:25,874 --> 00:22:27,374
- Oh.
- I say
553
00:22:27,377 --> 00:22:29,311
we roll the dice for, you know,
554
00:22:29,313 --> 00:22:30,712
some possible Lyme disease.
555
00:22:30,714 --> 00:22:32,180
I have so much to say...
556
00:22:32,182 --> 00:22:33,715
Hold on one second.
557
00:22:33,888 --> 00:22:35,783
Oh, oh, it's from Jayma.
558
00:22:35,785 --> 00:22:38,777
It says emergency. SOS. 411.
559
00:22:38,802 --> 00:22:40,035
She means 911.
560
00:22:40,474 --> 00:22:41,536
I wonder if Phillip got cold feet.
561
00:22:41,538 --> 00:22:42,591
I have to go.
562
00:22:42,616 --> 00:22:43,997
- What?
- I have to go, I'm sorry.
563
00:22:44,022 --> 00:22:45,255
What about our plan?
564
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,913
There's no plan.
565
00:22:46,938 --> 00:22:48,185
Ugh.
566
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,903
The dance we do.
567
00:22:50,221 --> 00:22:52,083
- Hey, what's the emergency?
- I don't know, do you?
568
00:22:52,108 --> 00:22:53,441
Guys.
569
00:22:53,466 --> 00:22:54,903
There's something I need to tell you.
570
00:22:54,969 --> 00:22:56,235
And it won't be easy.
571
00:22:57,429 --> 00:23:00,663
My dress is done early,
and I brought champagne!
572
00:23:05,486 --> 00:23:08,294
- Oh, man.
- Wow.
573
00:23:08,987 --> 00:23:10,520
Cheers!
574
00:23:10,818 --> 00:23:11,872
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
575
00:23:11,897 --> 00:23:13,496
Valencia's so funny.
576
00:23:13,684 --> 00:23:15,518
Oh, Valencia, tell them about
the part with the old lady.
577
00:23:15,621 --> 00:23:18,974
Yeah, so, this 90-year-old
lady was in downward dog,
578
00:23:18,999 --> 00:23:21,666
and I said to her, “Okay,
just breathe into it.”
579
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:22,872
And she said,
580
00:23:22,897 --> 00:23:25,974
“If I breathe into it any
harder, I'm gonna toot.”
581
00:23:27,891 --> 00:23:29,390
Oh, she's so funny.
582
00:23:29,415 --> 00:23:31,081
She has a million yoga
stories like these.
583
00:23:31,106 --> 00:23:32,060
They're great.
584
00:23:32,085 --> 00:23:33,451
Well, I've been practicing my humor.
585
00:23:33,476 --> 00:23:35,200
I watched an online tutorial.
586
00:23:35,794 --> 00:23:38,034
This was so much fun, you guys.
587
00:23:38,466 --> 00:23:39,725
When Joshy and I get married,
588
00:23:39,727 --> 00:23:42,286
I want all of you to be in the wedding.
589
00:23:43,388 --> 00:23:44,599
Except for you.
590
00:23:45,552 --> 00:23:47,318
I mean, would it kill
you to say something?
591
00:23:48,122 --> 00:23:49,401
She's not wrong, Ruby.
592
00:23:49,404 --> 00:23:50,770
You're a dud.
593
00:23:52,253 --> 00:23:55,771
Ah, man, I am tipsy.
594
00:23:55,796 --> 00:23:58,062
This was so fun.
595
00:23:58,109 --> 00:24:00,276
Oh, Jas, we got to go meet
mom at the cake-tasting.
596
00:24:00,552 --> 00:24:02,251
Can you guys stay and make skee
597
00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:04,122
the dress gets packed away perfectly?
598
00:24:04,147 --> 00:24:05,841
Like no wrinkles or bubbles.
599
00:24:05,866 --> 00:24:07,192
Absolutely. We're on it.
600
00:24:07,349 --> 00:24:08,271
Valencia and I got this.
601
00:24:08,296 --> 00:24:09,122
Yep, we got it.
602
00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:10,513
Thanks, V.
603
00:24:10,538 --> 00:24:13,205
You know, we all
thought you were heinous,
604
00:24:13,230 --> 00:24:14,950
but you're kind of okay.
605
00:24:16,506 --> 00:24:18,981
- All right, bye, ladies.
- Bye, Jayma.
606
00:24:19,006 --> 00:24:20,708
Drink a glass of water.
607
00:24:21,768 --> 00:24:22,653
Wow.
608
00:24:23,603 --> 00:24:25,069
They don't think I'm heinous anymore.
609
00:24:25,243 --> 00:24:27,676
Jastenity even offered
me a half stick of gum.
610
00:24:27,842 --> 00:24:30,267
I said no because I
bloat, but still...
611
00:24:30,291 --> 00:24:31,200
Congrats.
612
00:24:34,692 --> 00:24:36,714
Well, I guess we should, um,
613
00:24:36,716 --> 00:24:38,622
get the girls to pack
up this big-ass dress.
614
00:24:38,647 --> 00:24:39,802
Yeah, okay.
615
00:24:40,501 --> 00:24:42,255
Hmm, wow.
616
00:24:42,722 --> 00:24:45,497
Wow, this would look even worse
on me than some of the others.
617
00:24:45,522 --> 00:24:46,958
Oh, come on, stop.
618
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,739
I mean, you make jokes about your body,
619
00:24:48,764 --> 00:24:50,341
and they're pretty funny
and mostly accurate,
620
00:24:50,366 --> 00:24:53,505
but with your big boobs,
that dress would look great.
621
00:24:53,530 --> 00:24:54,696
Are you kidding? No.
622
00:24:54,721 --> 00:24:55,942
I'd be spilling out of this thing,
623
00:24:55,967 --> 00:24:57,399
and not like in a sexy, on purpose,
624
00:24:57,424 --> 00:24:58,858
Christina Hendricks type of way.
625
00:24:58,883 --> 00:25:00,942
So? Guys don't care.
626
00:25:00,967 --> 00:25:03,239
Guys love big boobs like yours.
627
00:25:03,264 --> 00:25:05,388
I mean, sometimes I hate my small boobs.
628
00:25:05,413 --> 00:25:08,325
I mean, I thought
about getting implants.
629
00:25:08,350 --> 00:25:10,638
What? No, don't do that.
630
00:25:10,663 --> 00:25:12,597
Oh, my gosh, Valencia, if you knew
631
00:25:12,622 --> 00:25:14,222
what went into having a
pair of monsters like these,
632
00:25:14,247 --> 00:25:16,087
you would never think
about getting them again.
633
00:25:18,231 --> 00:25:19,872
I'm gonna show you.
634
00:25:20,713 --> 00:25:22,646
Rebecca, you can't.
635
00:25:22,671 --> 00:25:24,605
Valencia, once I put this dress on,
636
00:25:25,052 --> 00:25:26,950
you will never envy these puppies again.
637
00:25:27,265 --> 00:25:28,255
Get ready.
638
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,472
Ugh.
639
00:25:37,473 --> 00:25:38,806
Mm-hmm.
640
00:25:38,809 --> 00:25:40,442
There... yep.
641
00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:43,091
♪ I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs ♪
642
00:25:43,162 --> 00:25:44,896
♪ Dense like dying
stars, I got them ♪
643
00:25:44,898 --> 00:25:46,864
♪ Heavy boobs, heavy boobs ♪
644
00:25:46,866 --> 00:25:48,265
♪ I can't run real far ♪
645
00:25:48,267 --> 00:25:51,801
♪ Let me break down
what I just said ♪
646
00:25:51,826 --> 00:25:53,258
♪ Each of my double Ds ♪
647
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:55,294
♪ Has the volume of
a toddler's head ♪
648
00:25:55,296 --> 00:25:56,729
♪ Not bitchin' 'bout my boobies ♪
649
00:25:56,731 --> 00:25:58,430
♪ They look super fly in shirts ♪
650
00:25:58,432 --> 00:26:00,166
♪ But if I swung them in your face ♪
651
00:26:00,168 --> 00:26:02,267
♪ You'd be like, oh,
my God, that hurts ♪
652
00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:04,336
♪ I'm blind, holy crap ♪
653
00:26:04,338 --> 00:26:05,871
♪ I literally can't see ♪
654
00:26:05,873 --> 00:26:07,773
♪ I have permanent retinal damage ♪
655
00:26:07,775 --> 00:26:09,741
♪ I'm suing you and
your heavy boobies ♪
656
00:26:09,743 --> 00:26:12,844
♪ Heavy boobs, heavy boobs,
dense like dying stars ♪
657
00:26:12,846 --> 00:26:14,913
♪ I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs ♪
658
00:26:14,915 --> 00:26:17,613
- ♪ They each have their own memoirs ♪
- _
659
00:26:17,638 --> 00:26:19,318
♪ What you gotta know is that ♪
660
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,019
♪ Boobs may be where it's at ♪
661
00:26:21,021 --> 00:26:22,221
♪ But if you cut them open ♪
662
00:26:22,223 --> 00:26:23,855
♪ They're just sacks of yellow fat ♪
663
00:26:23,857 --> 00:26:25,657
♪ Stuff falls into my bra ♪
664
00:26:25,659 --> 00:26:27,511
♪ It's a little bit of a drag ♪
665
00:26:27,536 --> 00:26:29,652
♪ But when I go to bed at night ♪
666
00:26:29,677 --> 00:26:32,144
♪ It's like opening
a Mary Poppins bag ♪
667
00:26:32,146 --> 00:26:35,614
Whee, candy and pennies!
668
00:26:37,151 --> 00:26:39,885
♪ I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs ♪
669
00:26:39,887 --> 00:26:41,427
♪ Dense like dying stars ♪
670
00:26:41,452 --> 00:26:43,138
♪ I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs ♪
671
00:26:43,163 --> 00:26:45,229
♪ Don't need an air bag in my car ♪
672
00:26:45,254 --> 00:26:48,189
♪ Here is a list of
all of the objects ♪
673
00:26:48,214 --> 00:26:52,083
♪ That I can hold under my boobs ♪
674
00:26:52,108 --> 00:26:54,114
♪ Stapler, ten pencils ♪
675
00:26:54,139 --> 00:26:55,880
♪ Paperback copy of Arabian Nights ♪
676
00:26:55,905 --> 00:26:57,591
♪ Dog bone, remote control ♪
677
00:26:57,638 --> 00:26:59,747
♪ Hardback copy of
Wuthering Heights ♪
678
00:26:59,772 --> 00:27:02,106
See, when a star is dying, it
transforms into a red giant.
679
00:27:02,131 --> 00:27:04,185
And if the red giant does not
have enough mass to fuse carbon,
680
00:27:04,210 --> 00:27:07,322
an inert mass of carbon and
oxygen builds up in the center,
681
00:27:07,347 --> 00:27:09,231
transforming into a dense white dwarf.
682
00:27:10,051 --> 00:27:11,605
And yeah, like, that's my boobs.
683
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:12,763
That's... that's what my boobs are like.
684
00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:15,144
♪ I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs ♪
685
00:27:15,169 --> 00:27:16,601
♪ Dense like a white dwarf ♪
686
00:27:16,626 --> 00:27:18,860
♪ I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs ♪
687
00:27:18,862 --> 00:27:20,228
♪ They'd be a catch
at Fisherman's Wharf ♪
688
00:27:20,230 --> 00:27:22,396
♪ I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs ♪
689
00:27:22,421 --> 00:27:24,188
♪ Don't ever forget that ♪
690
00:27:24,213 --> 00:27:25,958
♪ These heavy boobs, heavy boobs ♪
691
00:27:25,983 --> 00:27:27,282
♪ Are just sacks of yellow fat ♪
692
00:27:27,307 --> 00:27:29,146
♪ Like the stuffing of a couch ♪
693
00:27:29,171 --> 00:27:31,105
♪ They're just sacks of yellow fat ♪
694
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,032
♪ Technically meant to feed a baby ♪
695
00:27:33,057 --> 00:27:35,057
♪ They're just sacks
of yellow fat. ♪
696
00:27:35,278 --> 00:27:36,255
Wow.
697
00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:38,388
I had no idea.
698
00:27:38,949 --> 00:27:41,005
No wonder my boobs are so small.
699
00:27:41,030 --> 00:27:42,597
I have no fat on my body.
700
00:27:42,817 --> 00:27:43,786
See?
701
00:27:43,811 --> 00:27:45,552
Exactly. Problem solved.
702
00:27:45,577 --> 00:27:47,481
Now, you try on the dress.
703
00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:48,856
Yes.
704
00:27:48,858 --> 00:27:50,057
Let's see how it looks
705
00:27:50,059 --> 00:27:51,497
with some nice B-cup action in there.
706
00:27:51,522 --> 00:27:53,794
No. I couldn't.
707
00:27:55,550 --> 00:27:56,824
Wow.
708
00:27:57,265 --> 00:27:58,364
Oh, my.
709
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:04,114
Valencia, you're going to
make a really beautiful bride.
710
00:28:06,302 --> 00:28:08,255
Josh is really lucky.
711
00:28:08,347 --> 00:28:09,846
I hope.
712
00:28:09,871 --> 00:28:12,528
I hope some day it is
Josh and me, I really do.
713
00:28:12,553 --> 00:28:13,599
It will be.
714
00:28:14,872 --> 00:28:20,942
And I'm so sorry if I did
anything to delay that dream.
715
00:28:21,090 --> 00:28:22,388
I appreciate you saying that.
716
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:25,950
Do you mind taking a picture of me?
717
00:28:26,181 --> 00:28:27,413
Just for me.
718
00:28:27,525 --> 00:28:28,700
I want to remember how I looked.
719
00:28:28,725 --> 00:28:29,957
Of course.
720
00:28:30,398 --> 00:28:31,130
Okay.
721
00:28:31,155 --> 00:28:32,122
Okay.
722
00:28:39,456 --> 00:28:41,536
Oh, I got nothing to work with here.
723
00:28:42,275 --> 00:28:43,940
I mean, I've already hacked
into Valencia's e-mails
724
00:28:43,965 --> 00:28:45,031
and her texts.
725
00:28:46,411 --> 00:28:48,190
Ooh, wait a minute, what's this?
726
00:28:48,215 --> 00:28:49,515
A photo stream?
727
00:28:51,261 --> 00:28:53,474
Oh, again. You with the face.
728
00:28:54,741 --> 00:28:57,241
What do you mean, how did
I get Valencia's password?
729
00:28:57,305 --> 00:28:58,470
You know me.
730
00:28:59,239 --> 00:29:00,592
Okay.
731
00:29:00,594 --> 00:29:02,761
Let's see what we've got here.
732
00:29:02,763 --> 00:29:07,098
Valencia's photos... chocolate
cake... fried chicken...
733
00:29:07,100 --> 00:29:08,669
Spaghetti with meatballs.
734
00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:12,231
Oh, she just likes to look at food.
735
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,278
Okay.
736
00:29:16,590 --> 00:29:18,074
Oh.
737
00:29:18,810 --> 00:29:20,578
Oh, wait a minute, what is this?
738
00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:22,989
I think that's Jayma's wedding gown.
739
00:29:23,774 --> 00:29:25,138
Oh!
740
00:29:25,351 --> 00:29:27,950
You know, I've...
741
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:29,541
I've prayed to God my whole life,
742
00:29:29,566 --> 00:29:31,411
and I, and I never knew
if she was listening,
743
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:33,303
but...
744
00:29:33,328 --> 00:29:34,825
thank you, Big Mama.
745
00:29:38,498 --> 00:29:39,685
Uh, no wrinkles.
746
00:29:39,710 --> 00:29:41,325
- Yeah, or bubbles.
- Thank you.
747
00:29:42,366 --> 00:29:43,632
We got this.
748
00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:45,757
It says I have a new like on a photo.
749
00:29:45,782 --> 00:29:47,849
I-I didn't take a
photo, what is this?
750
00:29:47,874 --> 00:29:48,753
Hmm.
751
00:29:53,179 --> 00:29:54,302
Hey!
752
00:29:54,847 --> 00:29:56,396
You ruined my wedding.
753
00:29:56,489 --> 00:29:57,888
Yeah, bitch.
754
00:30:03,740 --> 00:30:05,740
- How could you?
- What's wrong with you?
755
00:30:05,742 --> 00:30:07,339
#HotterThanTheBride?
756
00:30:07,364 --> 00:30:08,977
I-I-I didn't
do anything.
757
00:30:08,979 --> 00:30:10,712
I didn't post a photo.
758
00:30:10,714 --> 00:30:12,647
And my hashtags are always positive.
759
00:30:12,649 --> 00:30:14,248
Like, #GirlBoss
760
00:30:14,310 --> 00:30:15,760
or #Fitspo.
761
00:30:16,044 --> 00:30:18,385
Someone must be framing me or something.
762
00:30:18,387 --> 00:30:19,753
What kind of psycho with no life
763
00:30:19,778 --> 00:30:20,817
would do such a thing?
764
00:30:20,842 --> 00:30:22,442
Oh, God, Paula.
765
00:30:22,677 --> 00:30:24,091
You must have done it.
766
00:30:24,382 --> 00:30:25,948
When I went to the bathroom.
767
00:30:27,083 --> 00:30:28,909
This is why women
768
00:30:28,934 --> 00:30:30,500
don't go to the bathroom alone.
769
00:30:34,099 --> 00:30:36,755
Excuse me, miss, I have
a bone to pick with you.
770
00:30:36,943 --> 00:30:38,614
I'm sorry, sir. Can I help you?
771
00:30:38,639 --> 00:30:41,052
Yes, you can. By helping yourself.
772
00:30:41,514 --> 00:30:44,682
Stop chasing after the
cartwheeling magician idiot boy,
773
00:30:44,684 --> 00:30:46,435
and start paying attention to the guy
774
00:30:46,460 --> 00:30:48,208
with the bountiful, beautiful hair,
775
00:30:48,233 --> 00:30:50,403
who happens to really care about you.
776
00:30:50,428 --> 00:30:52,677
Oh, you're friends with Marty.
777
00:30:52,702 --> 00:30:53,834
I prefer mentor.
778
00:30:53,859 --> 00:30:55,302
Ah, well, I've already told him
779
00:30:55,327 --> 00:30:56,575
I'm not interested.
780
00:30:56,673 --> 00:30:59,607
Him continuing to chase after
me is a terrible decision,
781
00:30:59,772 --> 00:31:01,840
which makes me respect him even less.
782
00:31:02,355 --> 00:31:04,355
I mean, maybe if he backed off
783
00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:05,947
and let me come to him,
784
00:31:05,972 --> 00:31:07,817
maybe I would think about it.
785
00:31:07,842 --> 00:31:09,442
Otherwise, can you tell him to stop
786
00:31:09,467 --> 00:31:12,668
with the songs and the
texts and the skywriting?
787
00:31:12,693 --> 00:31:14,026
Okay.
788
00:31:16,549 --> 00:31:18,231
What did you skywrite?
789
00:31:18,601 --> 00:31:19,833
Lyrics to the song.
790
00:31:20,053 --> 00:31:21,353
Cost a fortune.
791
00:31:21,378 --> 00:31:22,544
Oh, and it was so windy.
792
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,513
I basically paid for a cloud.
793
00:31:26,929 --> 00:31:28,495
So what's next, coach?
794
00:31:28,552 --> 00:31:30,752
What do I do? What's my next move?
795
00:31:31,630 --> 00:31:34,692
I don't know. I kind of
think we do nothing.
796
00:31:35,184 --> 00:31:38,435
I like that. Like for a
day? We slow-playing?
797
00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:40,825
No.
798
00:31:43,333 --> 00:31:45,005
I actually think forever.
799
00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:47,981
I think we got to call this one.
800
00:31:48,434 --> 00:31:49,867
Go back to dusting potatoes.
801
00:31:50,903 --> 00:31:54,497
You laugh, but who likes a dusty potato?
802
00:31:54,522 --> 00:31:56,154
Marty, Ally's right.
803
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,583
Chasing someone who isn't
into you is a terrible move.
804
00:32:00,857 --> 00:32:02,442
Trust me, I feel you.
805
00:32:02,467 --> 00:32:03,667
I've been there.
806
00:32:04,341 --> 00:32:06,387
You mean you and Rebecca Bunch.
807
00:32:07,686 --> 00:32:10,553
Your friends come in here
all the time talking about it.
808
00:32:10,578 --> 00:32:12,216
God, I hate my friends.
809
00:32:13,137 --> 00:32:14,403
Yeah, Marty, that's right.
810
00:32:14,428 --> 00:32:16,161
I did that with Rebecca.
811
00:32:16,493 --> 00:32:18,560
But watching you do it,
812
00:32:18,702 --> 00:32:20,864
I see what a bad call it was.
813
00:32:22,326 --> 00:32:23,591
Actually, I'm realizing,
814
00:32:23,616 --> 00:32:26,650
I make a lot of bad calls...
in everything.
815
00:32:27,216 --> 00:32:28,716
Yeah, me, too.
816
00:32:29,006 --> 00:32:30,488
And I think we're the same.
817
00:32:30,513 --> 00:32:34,648
I mean, I work here in a grocery store,
818
00:32:34,673 --> 00:32:36,122
even though I went to Harvard.
819
00:32:36,900 --> 00:32:38,122
The Harvard of what?
820
00:32:38,147 --> 00:32:40,435
Just Harvard. In Boston.
821
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:41,659
Wow, yeah, God.
822
00:32:41,684 --> 00:32:43,427
Your decisions are just the worst.
823
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,007
Look, I already deleted
it, so don't worry.
824
00:32:47,141 --> 00:32:49,450
And we only got one
like and it was from...
825
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,146
OMG, it's from Maxim's Hometown Hotties.
826
00:32:53,065 --> 00:32:55,065
Sorry. I'm telling you,
827
00:32:55,551 --> 00:32:57,044
it was Rebecca.
828
00:32:57,069 --> 00:32:59,324
She's been "Single White Femaling"
me since she got here.
829
00:32:59,552 --> 00:33:00,333
Valencia...
830
00:33:00,358 --> 00:33:02,810
You take one step closer,
and I'm getting a restraining order,
831
00:33:02,835 --> 00:33:03,867
Jennifer Jason Leigh.
832
00:33:04,474 --> 00:33:07,333
What I was going to say was, um...
833
00:33:08,724 --> 00:33:11,257
You were right. Yep, it was me.
834
00:33:11,258 --> 00:33:12,356
Yeah.
835
00:33:12,381 --> 00:33:15,544
It was my idea for Valencia
to put on the wedding dress,
836
00:33:15,569 --> 00:33:19,738
and then when I saw her
in it, I-I got jealous.
837
00:33:19,763 --> 00:33:23,036
And so I, uh, I stole her
phone and I posted the picture.
838
00:33:23,061 --> 00:33:24,060
I'm sorry.
839
00:33:24,085 --> 00:33:25,284
I don't believe you.
840
00:33:25,434 --> 00:33:27,802
Only someone crazy
and sad would do that.
841
00:33:27,942 --> 00:33:29,013
Um, yeah,
842
00:33:29,038 --> 00:33:31,536
and I'm both those things,
843
00:33:32,329 --> 00:33:36,030
so I'm, um, I'm sorry.
844
00:33:37,153 --> 00:33:38,450
Valencia,
845
00:33:38,849 --> 00:33:40,708
I'm sorry we accused you.
846
00:33:41,364 --> 00:33:42,954
Rebecca, you should go.
847
00:33:42,956 --> 00:33:44,956
Yep.
848
00:33:48,662 --> 00:33:50,200
Good-bye, Chans.
849
00:34:08,607 --> 00:34:10,106
Before you start,
850
00:34:10,108 --> 00:34:12,175
you don't have to buy me
champagne or a fur coat;
851
00:34:12,177 --> 00:34:13,677
just a simple thank you will suffice.
852
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:14,497
Paula.
853
00:34:14,522 --> 00:34:16,731
Valencia's password was so easy.
854
00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:18,481
Valencia1.
855
00:34:18,483 --> 00:34:20,016
I mean, come on.
856
00:34:20,018 --> 00:34:21,255
Paula!
857
00:34:25,327 --> 00:34:27,989
Just get in my office.
858
00:34:35,664 --> 00:34:37,865
I told you not to do anything.
859
00:34:37,969 --> 00:34:39,434
Wait, what?
860
00:34:39,436 --> 00:34:40,970
I mean, why didn't you listen to me?
861
00:34:40,972 --> 00:34:43,169
Oh, my God, why didn't I listen to you?
862
00:34:43,508 --> 00:34:44,807
Because if I listen to you,
863
00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:46,738
nothing would ever happen with Josh.
864
00:34:46,763 --> 00:34:48,824
No Thanksgiving, no camp.
865
00:34:48,849 --> 00:34:49,744
No kiss.
866
00:34:49,746 --> 00:34:51,380
You, you didn't do all that by yourself.
867
00:34:51,382 --> 00:34:54,983
And every time you said, “No,
Paula, don't do anything.”
868
00:34:54,985 --> 00:34:57,886
And then I did anyway,
and you were happy.
869
00:35:01,425 --> 00:35:03,091
Wow, yeah, you're right.
870
00:35:04,544 --> 00:35:06,880
Okay, that's the way it used to be,
871
00:35:08,099 --> 00:35:09,589
but it's not like that anymore, okay?
872
00:35:09,614 --> 00:35:11,458
No. Paula, listen to me.
873
00:35:12,372 --> 00:35:13,267
I'm done with Josh.
874
00:35:13,269 --> 00:35:14,769
Oh, come on, I saw you.
875
00:35:14,771 --> 00:35:17,271
You can't even throw away
the macaroni portrait.
876
00:35:17,273 --> 00:35:19,263
- I threw it away. Everything's gone.
- Even Channy bear.
877
00:35:19,288 --> 00:35:21,458
Yeah. Channy bear
sleeps with the fishes.
878
00:35:23,746 --> 00:35:27,081
Nope. I can't give up on Josh.
879
00:35:27,974 --> 00:35:29,497
He's not yours to give up on.
880
00:35:29,522 --> 00:35:31,218
Why are you so hung up on this?
881
00:35:31,220 --> 00:35:33,154
It's for you. It-It's
to make you happy.
882
00:35:33,156 --> 00:35:35,036
No, it's not, because I just told...
883
00:35:35,061 --> 00:35:36,169
It's because...
884
00:35:37,685 --> 00:35:39,159
If we're not chasing Josh,
885
00:35:39,161 --> 00:35:41,495
then you're not going to want
to hang out with me anymore.
886
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,262
I know it.
887
00:35:44,270 --> 00:35:46,767
What? No. Paula, no.
888
00:35:46,769 --> 00:35:48,035
That's not true.
889
00:35:48,037 --> 00:35:49,302
Yes. Yes, it is.
890
00:35:49,825 --> 00:35:51,104
He's our glue.
891
00:35:51,106 --> 00:35:53,540
He's what holds us together, and...
892
00:35:55,033 --> 00:35:57,867
I've barely seen you this week at all.
893
00:35:58,213 --> 00:36:01,489
Paula, I love you.
894
00:36:02,177 --> 00:36:03,510
Okay, you know that.
895
00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:06,013
But we have to stop.
896
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:09,060
It's not good for me.
897
00:36:10,066 --> 00:36:12,533
You and I will always be
friends, okay, I promise.
898
00:36:13,780 --> 00:36:15,846
But we don't need Josh Chan.
899
00:36:17,088 --> 00:36:18,810
Because I don't need him.
900
00:36:22,588 --> 00:36:24,021
Okay?
901
00:36:24,170 --> 00:36:25,473
Okay.
902
00:36:28,176 --> 00:36:29,458
Hey.
903
00:36:44,852 --> 00:36:51,185
Hey. Hi. I'm sorry, I, um, I
needed somewhere to drink,
904
00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:52,776
and I thought, I thought
you'd be at school.
905
00:36:53,011 --> 00:36:54,466
You're here.
906
00:36:54,838 --> 00:36:56,171
What'll it be?
907
00:36:56,346 --> 00:36:57,778
It's last call.
908
00:36:57,935 --> 00:36:59,335
Um,
909
00:36:59,778 --> 00:37:02,552
I guess, I don't know,
I'll take some alcohol.
910
00:37:02,577 --> 00:37:04,153
Do you know any alcohol names?
911
00:37:04,178 --> 00:37:05,577
Yes.
912
00:37:05,602 --> 00:37:09,099
I will take a peach
schnapps on the rocks?
913
00:37:09,124 --> 00:37:10,395
No, never mind.
914
00:37:10,420 --> 00:37:11,885
Never order drinks again.
915
00:37:11,998 --> 00:37:13,247
I'll make you something.
916
00:37:15,966 --> 00:37:17,294
That's a lot of books you got there.
917
00:37:17,319 --> 00:37:21,044
Yeah, I'm trying this really new
radical approach to studying...
918
00:37:21,232 --> 00:37:22,872
It's called studying.
919
00:37:24,099 --> 00:37:27,020
Wow. Is it working?
920
00:37:27,572 --> 00:37:28,716
Really well.
921
00:37:31,626 --> 00:37:33,114
This is perfect.
922
00:37:33,829 --> 00:37:34,856
What is this?
923
00:37:34,911 --> 00:37:36,177
It's this really exotic drink
924
00:37:36,202 --> 00:37:37,668
called the gin and tonic.
925
00:37:37,693 --> 00:37:40,627
Well, I've never heard
of a gin and tonic before,
926
00:37:40,652 --> 00:37:42,552
but I think it's gonna be really big.
927
00:37:42,782 --> 00:37:45,817
I'm sending in the patent.
928
00:37:46,442 --> 00:37:48,520
Hey, what are you doing after this?
929
00:37:48,545 --> 00:37:51,512
Do you want to, like, I
don't know, go to another bar,
930
00:37:51,537 --> 00:37:56,247
get a drink, or hang
out at my place, or...
931
00:37:56,755 --> 00:37:58,255
What happened?
932
00:37:58,919 --> 00:38:00,214
Did you and Josh
933
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,286
get in a fight... Is
that what's going on?
934
00:38:02,311 --> 00:38:03,724
And you need a shoulder to cry on?
935
00:38:03,749 --> 00:38:06,017
So you come to Greg,
'cause that's what I do.
936
00:38:06,042 --> 00:38:07,130
No, that's not what this is.
937
00:38:07,155 --> 00:38:09,130
Rebecca, I would really love
to hang out with you,
938
00:38:09,155 --> 00:38:12,022
I would, but I know what
that leads to for me.
939
00:38:12,047 --> 00:38:13,872
And I can't.
940
00:38:14,336 --> 00:38:16,369
I can't be in second
place again with you.
941
00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:21,224
Okay, um...
942
00:38:22,020 --> 00:38:23,161
Great.
943
00:38:23,966 --> 00:38:25,666
Um, good to know.
944
00:38:25,691 --> 00:38:27,257
I'm... I'm gonna go.
945
00:38:27,697 --> 00:38:29,231
I'm gonna go.
946
00:38:47,978 --> 00:38:49,411
Greg?
947
00:38:53,491 --> 00:38:57,786
Oh, Josh, I thought you
were someone else, I...
948
00:39:00,990 --> 00:39:03,910
What did you do? Y-Y-You
hacked into Valencia's phone?
949
00:39:03,935 --> 00:39:05,702
Y-You said you were trying
to keep your distance from me,
950
00:39:05,704 --> 00:39:06,716
a-and then you do this?
951
00:39:06,741 --> 00:39:08,466
This is how you make it up to Valencia?
952
00:39:08,491 --> 00:39:11,231
Okay, Josh, it's a long
story, but all that matters is
953
00:39:11,256 --> 00:39:12,922
Valencia is now beloved by your family
954
00:39:12,947 --> 00:39:14,599
- and I'm out of the bridal party.
- Yeah, but...
955
00:39:14,624 --> 00:39:19,270
Josh, focus on your girlfriend
and on your family, okay?
956
00:39:20,397 --> 00:39:22,106
And the next time you want
to come and talk to me,
957
00:39:22,131 --> 00:39:23,856
don't just show up at my door.
958
00:39:25,216 --> 00:39:28,634
Oh... okay.
959
00:39:29,575 --> 00:39:31,403
Yeah, okay, cool.
960
00:39:31,428 --> 00:39:33,270
Um, so could you go?
961
00:39:34,724 --> 00:39:36,965
I-I-I have something I need to do.
962
00:39:37,998 --> 00:39:39,567
Are you kicking me out?
963
00:39:40,615 --> 00:39:41,731
Lil' bit.
964
00:39:44,277 --> 00:39:46,243
Bye, Josh.
965
00:39:58,608 --> 00:40:00,427
I'm sorry, Channy bear.
966
00:40:10,934 --> 00:40:12,270
Hey, what's going on?
967
00:40:12,295 --> 00:40:13,099
Hi.
968
00:40:13,124 --> 00:40:15,390
You okay? What...
969
00:40:16,681 --> 00:40:18,660
No, I c... I-I can't do this.
970
00:40:18,685 --> 00:40:20,584
I-I can't eat a dusty potato.
971
00:40:20,609 --> 00:40:22,242
Oh, God, is that what I taste like?
972
00:40:22,731 --> 00:40:24,769
I mean, I, I ate a, an old French fry
973
00:40:24,794 --> 00:40:25,879
off the floor of my car, but I sh...
974
00:40:25,881 --> 00:40:27,414
It's a metaphor. Wa... you did what?
975
00:40:27,416 --> 00:40:28,682
It doesn't matter.
976
00:40:28,786 --> 00:40:30,817
No, good God, stop, woman.
977
00:40:30,819 --> 00:40:32,099
Greg, listen to me.
978
00:40:32,688 --> 00:40:34,739
This isn't about anyone else but you.
979
00:40:34,957 --> 00:40:36,169
Okay?
980
00:40:36,524 --> 00:40:38,491
You're not second choice.
981
00:40:38,618 --> 00:40:40,286
I promise.
982
00:40:44,794 --> 00:40:46,432
Listen, if this is going to happen,
983
00:40:46,434 --> 00:40:48,267
- you need to know something.
- Okay.
984
00:40:48,269 --> 00:40:50,336
This isn't going to be like a
roll in the hay and you go home.
985
00:40:50,338 --> 00:40:51,704
This is going to be like three days
986
00:40:51,706 --> 00:40:53,966
of you and me just ruining each other.
987
00:40:54,442 --> 00:40:55,489
And not emotionally.
988
00:40:55,943 --> 00:40:57,005
Is that what you want?
989
00:40:58,028 --> 00:40:59,497
When do we start?
990
00:41:00,381 --> 00:41:02,781
♪ ♪
991
00:41:15,924 --> 00:41:17,457
I'm so glad we're finally doing this.
992
00:41:17,740 --> 00:41:18,825
Me, too.
993
00:41:19,233 --> 00:41:20,999
I mean, there's so many girls
I could have brought here,
994
00:41:21,001 --> 00:41:23,901
like a whole bunch, but
I chose you, Ashley.
995
00:41:24,481 --> 00:41:26,435
- It's Ally.
- Don't care.
996
00:41:27,003 --> 00:41:30,004
Can we have sex now? Yay.
997
00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:31,395
Oh, my God.
998
00:41:31,578 --> 00:41:32,744
You're an idiot.
999
00:41:33,067 --> 00:41:34,669
And you're horrible.
1000
00:41:35,356 --> 00:41:38,927
Why do I always make the same
mistake over and over again?
1001
00:41:38,952 --> 00:41:40,318
I make terrible decisions.
1002
00:41:40,343 --> 00:41:42,276
I go for the lowest form of man
1003
00:41:42,301 --> 00:41:43,901
because I'm afraid to be with someone
1004
00:41:43,926 --> 00:41:45,535
I might actually connect with.
1005
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:47,050
You know what? Screw this.
1006
00:41:47,075 --> 00:41:48,875
I'm going back to nursing school.
1007
00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:50,474
Wait, do you want me
to do another cartwheel?
1008
00:41:50,499 --> 00:41:51,950
I'm-I'm-I'm good at those.
1009
00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:53,700
Whatever.
1010
00:41:53,889 --> 00:41:55,689
She'll be back.
1011
00:41:55,934 --> 00:41:57,100
They always come back.
1012
00:41:59,919 --> 00:42:04,560
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
71349
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof