Original subtitles

MOSFILM

CREATIVE SOCIETY FOR TV FILMS

ORDER FOR THE FILM PLACED BY THE STATE COMMITTEE OF THE USSR FOR TV AND RADIO

Comic fantasy about life, love and death of the famous baron Munchhausen

who lived in Germany in the 18th century and became the hero of many merry books and legends.

And that is not all.

- It isn't? - No.

We held out and struck at the flank. I lead the dragoons across the mire.

But my horse made a false step and we began sinking. It was a desperate situation.

I had to make a choice: either die or find a way of rescue.

So what did you choose?

Have a guess.

I decided to save myself. But how? There was no rope, no pole, nothing.

And then it dawned on me. My head! The head is always handy, gentlemen.

I grabbed my own hair and pulled with all my might.

And I do have a lot of power in my arms, thank God, and my head is clever enough!

So I yanked

And pulled myself from the mire. And the horse too.

You maintain that a man can lift himself by the hair?

Absolutely.

A clever man absolutely has to do it from time to time.

Nonsense! It is impossible.

Where is the proof?

Am I alive?

That is it.

- You speak about hunting. - Do I?

Well, you did not say it, you thought.

Just imagine, a year ago somewhere here I ran into a deer.

I took aim and just remembered that I had no bullets! Nothing but cherry.

I loaded my gun with a cherry stone

shot and hit the deer in the forehead. It ran away.

Just imagine, this spring at the same place

I met my beautiful deer

who had a marvellous cherry tree growing on his head.

How do you mean a cherry tree?

A tree? Growing on the deer's head?

Why not a cherry orchard!

If it were an orchard I would say an orchard.

But since it was a tree why should I lie?

I always tell the truth.

The truth?

"THAT VERY MUNCHHAUSEN"

WRITTEN BY GRIGORIY GORIN

DIRECTED BY MARK ZAHAROV

DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY VLADIMIR NAHABTSEV

PRODUCTION DESIGNER GEORGY KOLGANOV

COMPOSER ALEXEI RYBNIKOV

SOUND BY YURIY RABINOVICH, CONDUCTOR SERGEI SKRIPKA, LYRICS BY YURIY ENTIN

DIRECTOR LEONID CHERTOK CAMERAMAN SERGEI ARMAND

COSTUME DESIGNER N.FIRSOVA, FILM EDITING I.TSEKAVAYA, MAKE-UP N.MINAYEVA

SPECIAL PHOTOGRAPHY: DIRECTOR V.YAKUBOVICH, DESIGNER I.IVANOVA

GENERAL EDITOR I.VINOGRADOV MUSICAL EDITOR A.LAPISOV

PRODUCTION MANAGER LAZAR MILKIS

CAST

BARON MUNCHHAUSEN - OLEG YANKOVSKY

JAKOBINA MUNCHHAUSEN - INNA CHURIKOVA MARTA - YELENA KORENEVA

BURGOMASTER - IGOR KVASHA, RAMKOPF - ALEKSANDR ABDULOV, THEOPHIL - LEONID YARMOLNIK, THOMAS - YURI KATIN-YARTSEV

PASTOR - VLADIMIR DOLINSKY, DUKE - LEONID BRONEVOY, COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF - SEMYON FARADA, JUDGE - VSEVOLOD LARIONOV

EXTRAS: A. AMASPYURYANTS, A.MYULSTEDT G.OSHKOLUP, N.PALLADINA, O.SOKOLOV, K.YU.STEIMAN, V.IANOVSKIS, I.YASULOVICH

Oh

Sure, we all know how to pull. There's a door handle, why not pull at it?

People sweat fixing it But we don't care,

Everyone is eager to demonstrate his strength. Just can't keep his hands off it.

Get hold of it quietly, pull lightly.

Not at all! Jerk it with all your might.

You won't go jerking like that at home,

But while it is some one else's house everything is all right, whatever gets in the way.

You will never get them to drive in a new hook or to change the ring, no.

As for writing silly things on the walls, that's something we are pretty good at.

OK, now it looks right. You can ring the bell.

Oh!

Now that's different. Pastor, please.

The baron is expecting you. He has been working in his study since morning.

He locked himself up and every now and then he asks: "Thomas, has the pastor come yet?"

I say: "Not yet". And he says "That's just as well". He is very eager to see you.

I say now, is your master the very Munchhausen?

Yes, the very Munchhausen.

- Are those his hunting trophies? - They are.

Once the baron went hunting to the wood.

A bear attacked him. And since the baron had no gun...

Why wasn't he carrying a gun?

- I have all ready told you he went hunting. - Ah... Well, well.

So. When the bear attacked him. The baron...

caught it by his front paws and held them until the animal died.

- What caused the death? - Hunger.

As is well known, the bear feeds by sucking at his paw.

And since the baron denied him this possibility...

I see. And do you believe all that?

Of course, pastor. You saw yourself how thin he is.

- Who? - The bear.

- What bear? - The one that you saw.

Do you mind... after the walk... just a little?

What do you mean?

To warm the soul... before dinner just a bit... Do you mind?

No, I don't.

Would you like a fuge, a sonata or something stronger?

- Something... for me. - Whatever you like.

Frau Martha, I didn't hear, what time it is?

The clock struck 3, the baron struck 2

Which makes 5.

- Then I start frying the duck. - Yes, it's time.

You've been waiting for me, darling? Sorry, Newton held me up.

Who is that?

An Englishman, a very clever man. I must absolutely introduce you to him.

It's 6 o'clock, though. Dinner time.

You are wrong, Karl. It's 5. You fired only twice.

Really?

But I am hungry.

OK, let's add an hour.

- A misfire. - Damn, that makes half past five.

Wine is spilt for luck. Don't mind the dress.

We have guests, Karl.

Please forgive us, Pastor. We didn't notice you.

Glad to see you in my house, Pastor.

I am glad to see you too, Baron. I came here on your request.

It's so kind of you! How was the trip from Hanover?

Thank you. First there was fog, then clouds gathered...

Yes, yes. Then I dispersed them all.

We shan't digress though.

I want you to meet my wife.

- This is Martha. - Very glad, baroness.

Unfortunately she is not a baroness. She is just my wife.

We are not wed. That is why I asked you to come to my place.

Would you agree to perform this sacred ceremony for us?

- Right now? - No, certainly after dinner.

Then I shall go hurry Thomas up while you entertain our guest.

Yes, certainly. Would you like to see my library, pastor?

- With pleasure. - Please.

I've already noticed, baron.

- You've got rare books. - Yes, many of them are autographed.

- It must be so pleasant. - Sophocles for example.

- Who? - Sophocles.

This is his best tragedy "Oedipus Rex" with an inscription.

- For whom? - For me, naturally.

Here. "To dear Karl from his loving Sophocles to be warmly remembered."

Can you read ancient Greek?

Dinner is ready! I hope you were not bored here, pastor?

No. I showed the parchment to the Pastor.

- The one that Sophocles presented to you? - That very one.

My God, where am I?

You are in a marvellous house. It's fun here.

Don't get upset. Some time I'll take you with me to the ancient Athens. You won't regret it.

And now before dinner offer a sip for me and our guest. Just to raise the spirit.

Greens, ham, fish! Where is the duck, Thomas?

- Not ready yet, baron. - What!? Still not ready?

You can't trust any one. Got to do everything myself.

Thomas, look, are they flying? Are they?

They are, baron!

Right now they'll fly over our house.

We will fire through the chimney.

Ready... Fire!

So?

I got it. A duck. With apples.

It seems well fried.

It seems to have dipped into gravy on its way.

Oh? How very considerate of it.

Sit down to table, please!

Thank you. I don't have the appetite any more.

And then I am in a hurry. Explain to me what you request is, baron.

The request is simple. I want to be wed to the woman I love.

To my dear Martha. The most beautiful, sensitive and trustful woman.

Oh, my! Why am I telling you this, you can see her yourself.

Yes, yes, sure. But still, why does your locale pastor refuse

to wed you? - He says I am married.

- Married? - Married.

The thing is that the baron did have a wife, but she left him.

She deserted me two years ago.

To tell you the truth, baron, I would do the same in her place.

That is why I am no going to marry you but Martha.

So! Sorry, baron, but I can't be of any help to you.

Why not?

Because while your fife is alive you can't get married a second time.

- You say, while she is alive? - While she is alive.

- Are you suggesting that I should kill her? - My God! God save you, Baron!

We believed there was a way out. Karl has filed a divorce request to the Duke,

but the Duke won't sign the request until he gets the approval of the church.

The church is opposed to divorce.

But you do allow kings to get divorced.

Well, as an exception kings get the permission under exclusive circumstances.

When it is necessary to give birth to a scion.

Totally different things are necessary to give birth to a scion.

Well! Baron, allow me to leave.

But don't you see, because of these silly conventionalities 2 good humans suffer.

- The church must bless love. - Legitimate love!

- Any love is legitimate if it is love. - That's your point of view!

- I wouldn't agree with you. - What do you advise?

There's nothing to advise. Go on living as before.

But according to civil and ecclesiastical law the wife who

is no longer your wife will be considered your wife.

Nonsense! How can you, a servant of the church, advise me to live lying?

He was the fourth, Karl.

Don't care!

We shall invite a fifth, a sixth, a tenth, a twentieth.

The twentieth will come just in time for my funeral, Karl.

Let's talk about something else.

Is it worth spoiling such a nice evening?

- Is it evening now? - Of course!

Look at the moon, the stars!

I am coming to you, my darling!

So!

Coming!

Perhaps you shouldn't have started with Sophocles?

And this time you overdid it with the duck too.

I wanted to make him laugh.

They said "a clever man".

People say strange things.

I can't keep changing to suit every fool can I?

Not forever!

Just for a time, Karl.

Pretend. Become like everyone else.

Become like everyone else, Karl. I implore you!

Everyone else?

What are you saying?

Like everyone else...

Everyone else.

Everyone else.

Not to fly on cannon-balls....

Not to hunt mammoths, not to write letters to Shakespeare.

- Why invite trouble, Karl? - Dinner is ready.

No, darling. I am tired.

All right, dear, sleep.

I'll make it night for you.

Night!

Baron...

What do you mean by shouting at night?

- Is it night? - Night.

- Since when? - Since evening. Look at the clock.

Oh!

- Anything else? - I meant to say the duck is ready.

Let it loose. Let it fly!

OK.

Right! Did you see that?

Get up, get up!

Let's continue. Well, well.

Well. What is it?

Are you all right, Theo? Good. Take yourself in hand. Let's continue.

No, no, that's all. I am not up to it today.

Stop cutting the air, mother! You can't go on waiting like this

because in the long run he will get married to this girl

I am sick and tired of your hysterics! Take yourself in hand.

What can I do?

What can I do?

The burgomaster will be back any minute now. He went to the Duke's chancellery.

What can people at the office do, mother? We must act ourselves!

Mr.Ramkopf.

Well?

That is something already.

- Good boy, Henrik! - So!

Mr. Ramkopf, you are a fried of our family you have done so much for us.

- Take one more step! - Anything I can.

- Challenge my father to a duel. - Never.

- But why? - First of all he will kill me. And secondly...

Number one is enough. Calm down Theo.

I can't mother! He is the cause of all my misfortune.

I am 19, but I am still only a cornet with nothing ahead!

- They didn't even let me participate in manovres! - Manoeuvres.

Participate in manoeuvres! The Colonel said

he refused to receive reports from Baron Munchhausen.

What is it... What is all this nonsense?

Do you mean to hang this daub in the house again?

- What do you have against it? - It infuriates me!

- Cut it to pieces! - Don't you dare!

He maintains it is a Rembrandt.

- A who? - A Rembrandt.

- This one? - Yes.

Nonsense. A lie!

Of course a lie. But at the auction they offer 20 thousand for it.

20?. Then sell it.

Selling means acknowledging that it is true.

A duel! Only a duel!

- Burgomaster. - Good afternoon. Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Oh baroness, you look great in this Amazon suit!

Ramkopf, you are charming as always.

How's life, cornet? I can see you are all right!

Judging by the amount of compliments You've brought bad news.

Not too bad. I must admit, though, that the judge says

so far there is not sufficient ground to confiscate the baron's estate.

and hand it over to the custody of the inheritor.

Not sufficient ground? The man ruined his family, threw his wife and child into the street.

- What child? I am an officer! - A wife and officer.

As far as I know they left of their own free will.

- Very well, but who could live with such a man? - Frau Martha can.

But she is his lover! Let's make it clear.

If you have a lover, it's your own business. Nowadays everyone has a lover.

But you can't get married to them. That's immoral.

Well. Now we approach the saddest part of the story.

The thing is that the Duke has said "yes" to the baron's request for divorce.

So.

So!

- That can't be. - Unfortunately.

- Is it a fact? - No, it is not.

- It is not a fact? - No, it isn't a fact,

it's much more than a fact. That's what really happened.

The thing is that of late our beloved duke

has been in a sort of confrontation with our beloved duchess.

- So what? - An awful boy. Takes after his father.

Yes. So. They say she caught him with a maid of honour.

- It was horrible! It was... - So what?

In a state of a certain overexcitement the Duke gathered and signed

some requests for divorce repeating over and over "Liberty! Liberty to all!"

So. Now you've done it. A duel! Mr. Ramkopf,

you are an old friend of our family you have done so much for us.

- No, no, no. - Do one more thing. Be my second.

- Never! - But why?

- In the first place he will kill the second too. - Yes.

- A murderer! - To the Duke, this minute!

This minute! Mr. Burgomaster, please accompany me.

A duel! Only a duel!

Murderers!

That's impossible! That's incredible! That's unacceptable! No way!

His highness is busy with the most important affairs of state!

He is holding an urgent meeting! He is not there at all!

Your highness, perhaps the answer is the left wing? It is unreliable.

The centre troubles me too.

Perhaps in this case it will be wise to lift the top

and lower the bottom? - We'll do so.

2 rows of tucks on the left, 2 on the right.

The answer is the waist. What do you say? Where shall we make the waist?

- At the chest level. - Superb.

- Superb like everything that's true. - Exactly at the chest level. 66.

I won't allow to lower the waist line to the hips. 155.

We after all are the centre of Europe,

and I won't let some Spaniards set conditions for us.

Should you want a cap sleeve, very well.

Want a plisse skirt with tucks? I won't object.

But I won't allow to lower the waist line.

Your highness! Your highness! Baroness Jakobina von Munchhausen.

- I am busy. - I told her so.

I even told her that you were out. But she entreats.

Damn! I absolutely can't concentrate.

OK. Ask her in.

Your highness! Please forgive me for intervening with important affairs of the state

but an incredible thing has happened! - What is it this time?

Did you sign baron Minchhausen's request for divorce?

Who did? I did?

- Yes, I signed it. - Which means he can get married to Martha?

Why get married?

- Yes, he can get married. - Yes, but he can't get married!

Madmen can't get married. It is illegal and inhuman.

- And I hope, your highness, you will revoke your decision. - Why should I?

Because Baron Munchhausen is mad.

How do you mean?

Baroness, we can understand you anger,

but it needs serious arguments to pronounce somebody mad.

Very well. I'll acquaint you with a certain document

and you will see for yourself if the person who wrote it was sane or not.

May I ask my lawyer to read the document.

"Timetable"

"Timetable of baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus von Munchhausen

for May the 30th 1779"

- Interesting. - Very.

"Get up - 6 o'clock"

Legal.

Yes! Meaning no! Meaning I agree.

Getting up at such an early our is unnatural for a person of your class.

Read on, Henrikh.

"7 o'clock - disperse the clouds, make good weather"

What? What? Let me see.

As my luck would have it the sky is clear today.

That is, it was foggy in the morning but later on it cleared away.

You mean to say we owe it to him?

I don't mean to say anything, baroness.

I merely state that the weather is remarkable today.

But we have no reason to assume that it was he who dispersed the clouds.

Neither can we say that he didn't disperse the clouds.

This statement would contradict the evidence of our eyes.

Do you laugh at me? Go on, Henrikh.

"8 till 10 in the morning - a heroic deed".

What does it mean?

It means that from 8 to 10 in the morning he plans to do a heroic deed.

Well? What would you, Mr. Burgomaster, say about a man

who plans to do a heroic deed every day just like we plan to go to work?

I go to work myself, madam.

Every day at 9 in the morning I've got to be at the magistrate.

I won't call it a feat, but surely there is something heroic about it.

Are you making fun of me?!

Calm down, baroness. I am only trying to be impartial.

- To hell with you impartiality! - Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Now, gentlemen, we've come to a most interesting point.

"16:00 - war with England".

- With whom?! - With England.

My God, what harm has England done to him?

Where is it? Where, answer me.

- Who? - England.

Just a moment, your highness. Here.

- And where are we? - We are... here.

That is pretty close! Outrageous.

War is no poker! You can't declare war when you like.

A war is...

...a war.

My orders are: to immediately find and seize baron Munchhausen!

Use force in case of resistance!

- I want to see the commander-in-chief! - Yes.

War!

Order to the army: general mobilization!

- Where is the commander-in-chief? - I am here!

Call back all those transferred to the reserve, revoke all leaves,

draw up the guard on the central square. Full summer uniform:

Blue uniform with golden edging, cap sleeves, wide lapels.

Waistline 10 centimetres lower than in peacetime.

- Lower? - Meaning higher.

- And the chest? - What about the chest?

- Leave it in place? - No, take it with us.

- Where is my military uniform? - Here it is, your highness, please.

What?! I'll never wear this! A single-breasted uniform!

Don't you know that nowadays nobody goes to war in a single-breasted uniform?

What a disgrace! War is about to begin and we are not prepared.

No, no we are not ready for war.

Take no prisoners!

Officers!

Check the time! What time is it now?

- 15:00! - 15 and a quarter!

- More precisely? - Plus 22!

Everyone stay in place!

- Can I do anything for you? - Today's evening paper.

Good.

Baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus von Munchhausen I have orders to put you under arrest.

- If resistance is offered force is to be used. - By whom?

- What do you mean by whom? - Who is to use force in case of resistance? You or me?

- I didn't get you. - Perhaps you should send a messenger to inquire?

- Impossible. - Right. Let's both fulfil the orders. Right?

Good. Just a moment.

So. It must be done like this.

So!

Step aside, gentlemen. And you better go away altogether.

And certainly...

And dancing! This is a pub after all.

How much more time can it take?

Can't you put one single man under arrest?.. The horse is tired!

Everything is under control, you highness! Baron Munchhausen will be arrested any minute now.

Any minute. He asked me to beg you all not to go away.

Well, what impudence!

Your highness, when he is concerned, everything goes amiss.

Your highness, probably he has started writing something again.

But why? Eh.

What is he writing?

- Something about the hunting, probably. - Yes, yes. It's such an interesting story.

Yes, you know, your highness, he once went to the wood unarmed...

- How do you mean unarmed? - I mean to hunt a bear.

It was not a bear but a mammoth. But he did use a gun.

- A gun? - Yes, loaded with a cherry stone.

It was sweet cherry.

First of all, it was not sweet cherry, but current

And he fired when they flew over his house.

- The bears. - Do you think it was mammoths?

Then why did all that grow on the deer's head?

You highness, let me start from the very beginning.

On no account! Stop it this minute!

In 20 minutes a war with England will begin.

What about England? It is just a habit. Always England.

Stop chattering! ln 20 minutes...

...in 20 minutes...

- Now what is that? - The man under arrest.

Why is the orchestra playing?

Your highness, at first we were getting ready for holidays

then for arrests, then we decided to combine the two.

Where is our guard? Where is the guard?

Evidently it is flanking the place.

Flanking whom?

Everyone.

- Baron. - Your highness.

- How are things at home? ls everyone all right? - Yes, thank you.

- Is it true? - What?

Well, I don't know how to put it. Well, in general...

Well, they say, that you... that you declared war on England.

- I did not. - You didn't?

Not yet. War shall begin at 4 o'clock.

Unless England accepts the terms of the ultimatum.

- The ultimatum? - I sent them the ultimatum.

- To whom? - To the King of England and members of the British Parliament.

I suggested that England should stop the senseless war

with North American colonies and acknowledge their independence.

The ultimatum gives them the time till 16:00.

If my conditions are not accepted I personally shall unleash the war.

- You will start the war? - I will.

Where is the commander in chief?.. Ah?

So, in sending the ultimatum to the King, the baron,

overstepped the mark. A war is... Well, you know.

- I remember, your highness, when this... - That will do.

Hand in you spear.

Your highness, don't go against your conscience.

I know you are a noble man and in your heart are opposed to England too.

- Yes, in my heart I am opposed. Yes, I don't like it... - Yes.

- But I keep silent. - A war is...

Wait! To cut a long story short you are under arrest, baron.

Hand in your spear. I am waiting!

Hand it in, quick. No discipline at all!

Whoever wants to, declares a war. Whoever doesn't want to, doesn't declare war.

Baron, Baron, you wanted to see the evening paper! Here it is!

- Please. - Yes.

- "Typhoo in Sicily" - Above.

"Where to take your family"

- Above. - Here.

Ah, yes. "News from abroad:

...England acknowledged American independence".

So!

10 to 4. Just in time. They are lucky.

Farewell.

- Incredible! He let him go! - What could he do?

But that is a monstrous coincidence! Can't you see?

He is not a duke. He is a softy!

Madam, what do you expect of him? England capitulated.

Why does the war continue? You mean they don't read newspapers?

Now I remember! He did shoot a deer. But through the chimney.

Bravo! You look great in this wedding dress.

- Every woman does. - You look particularly good!

- It's a pity we wear it once a year. - You will wear it every day.

We shall get married every day. Do you like the idea?

Very much! But first you must get the divorce.

Do you remember that the divorce proceedings start in half an hour?

They started long ago. The moment I saw you.

If you only knew what present I have prepared for you!

- How many day are there in a year? - 365...

Take your time.

It's difficult to speak when so many sympathetic eyes are watching you.

Divorce is disgusting not only because it parts the spouses

but also because afterwards they call the man free and the woman dumped.

No! No need to pity me, gentlemen.

Don't humiliate me with pity, pity yourselves instead.

Gentlemen, my husband is a dangerous man!

20 years of my life were devoted to him!

20 years I tried to keep him under control to keep him in the family!

And thus I saved many lives, your lives I protected society from him!

But you sever these ties with your own hands.

You have no one but yourselves to blame. That's all right...

That's al right that I am dumped. That's all right.

It is not all right that he is free!

Think about it, gentlemen of the jury!

- What is she talking about? - Denouncing the baron.

- What does she say? - She says he is a bastard, naturally.

- A madman, a liar. - What does she want?

- That he doesn't leave her, naturally. - Logical.

...He must be watched either by the state or by his family!

I believe the family is better!

- Karl, but why are you so late? - I believe it is early, not all foolish things have been said.

- Oh Karl, please. - I understand! Not a word more.

- By the way, I made a remarkable discovery. - Not again?!

You'll be amazed! It'll change our life in this town.

Baron, I beg you, I just beg you, please not today!

Answer just one question: How many days are there in a year?

365.

OK. The rest will come later.

Baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus von Munchhausen!

I am here, gentlemen.

Baron, what comments can you make to the jury concerning the essence of your case?

- That depends on what you consider the essence. - That's evident. Why are you asking for divorce?

That is strange, you lived peacefully for 20 years and all of a sudden you ask for divorce.

Forgive me, Mr.Judge, but it was the tragedy that lasted for 20 years

only now everything is going to be all right. - Explain in more detail.

Here are the details. The Jury, ladies and gentlemen!

There are couples born for love. We were born for divorce.

Strange as it may seem, our marriage began long before we were born.

The Munchhausens had always wanted to be related to the von Duttens

and so when a daughter was born to them,

I was born not merely a boy, but a husband.

Jakobina hated me since childhood and managed to

evoke similar feelings in my soul.

When the priest asked us if we wanted to become husband and wife

we unhesitatingly answered "no" and were immediately wed.

After the wedding we went for a wedding trip.

I went to Turkey, my wife chose Switzerland. For three years we lived there in love and consent.

I protest! You are insulting my client!

One can't insult anyone by telling the truth.

On the whole, I believe you view on life is a bit narrow

Mr.Ramkopf. Divorce is one of the greatest achievements of humanity!

A minute is enough to fall in love

But it sometimes takes 20 years of married life to get divorced.

Those 20 years were hard But I have no regrets!

Socrates once said to me: get married by all means.

If you get a good wife you'll be happy,

if you get a bad wife you'll become a philosopher. I can't say which is better.

In any case - I thank you, Jakobina

for having become what I am now.

And long live the divorce, gentlemen!

It eliminates lies that I hate so much.

Great God, let everything be all right.

Dear God, help us, we love each other so much.

And don't be mad at Karl, dear God.

He is insolent, he will often argue with you. But you are older, dear God,

You are wiser, you must concede. Concede, my Lord!

You have suffered so long, Have a little more patience.

Patience, gentlemen! Patience! Our session is coming to a close.

Silence! We are starting the divorce procedure.

Baron, baroness, please come up to me

and take a look at divorce documents.

Sign them please.

Put the date.

Mr. Pastor, please.

In the name of the holy consistory I proclaim you free of each other.

Wait! Stop! Our proceedings were Turned into an ugly farce.

Mr. Judge, please read once again

thought Baron Munchhausen's divorce paper.

- I, Baron Karl von Munchhausen... - Look at the date!

The year of 1779, May the 32nd.

How is it possible?

Baron, you are mistaken, this date does not exist. - It does!

- Well, if yesterday it was the 31st of May then what date is it today? - The 32nd.

I discovered this date. It is my present to the town of my birth.

- I'll explain everything to you! - Gentlemen, gentlemen!

I'll explain everything to you!

It can't be, it can't be!

Bravo.

- The 30 what? - The thirty second, your highness.

Where is he proposing to insert it?

Right here.

- the 29th, the 30th, the 31st... - the 32nd.

But there is no space here.

That is why the jury considered themselves deeply offended!

We ask you to revoke the divorce decision.

The 29th, the 30th, the 31st...

And so on.

I begged you! Why couldn't you wait till tomorrow?

Oh but why, why? I begged you so!

Because I could not. Because it is today!

- Because it is already today! I have discovered a new date. - Ah, yes, yes.

- I'll explain everything to you. - Don't bother, don't! I am an old, sick man.

I have a weak heart, the doctors told me not to get excited.

- In the first place you are a clever man. - I am foolish.

- Clever. - Foolish.

- Please. You must understand. - No, I am foolish! I don't want to understand anything.

- How many days are there in a year? - I don't know!

- 365. - I am not sure!

Right. A usual year lasts 365 days and 6 hours.

These 6 hours are summed up and make a new day.

So that every 4th year is a leap year.

But I got curious if there were exactly 365 days and 6 hours in a year.

As t turned out it was not so!

The usual year lasts for 365 days, 6 hours and 3 seconds! 3!

Every astronomer can tell you that.

It is enough to go up to the stars with a chronometer

to watch the movement of the Earth.

I did it more than once. Martha can tell you.

3 unregistered seconds!

For some reason 3 seconds are not taken into account. Why?

My darling, we have extra seconds at our disposal, but nobody pays attention to them.

Years pass and these seconds make up minutes, in several hundreds of years they make up hours.

So now, my dear friends since the time our town was founded

we now have an extra day the 32nd of May!

- Is that all? - It is!

Well. And you couldn't think of a better time to announce your discovery?

The court has got nothing to do with it. It was important for me to let people know and that's what I did.

Did you expect them to believe you?

One cannot ignore facts. We are not idiots after all

to refuse to accept an extra day in a year.

Thomas! Thomas!

Thomas! Are you happy that we now have the 32nd of May?

Not quite, Baron.

On the 1st of June I get my wages.

You didn't understand.

Are you happy to have a new day?

That depends on what day of the week it is.

If it is Sunday, it is a pity.

And if it is Monday, then what do we need two Mondays for?

Get out!

And you, Martha?

You do understand that I am right, don't you?

Sorry Karl. I am all mixed up.

Probably you are right. I am no good at calculations.

But we won't be wed now. That's what I do understand.

I am leaving. Don't be mad at me, darling.

I am tired.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you. Don't, please.

I know, darling.

But even for my sake you won't make any concessions.

Do you remember, when we met Shakespeare, he said:

"All people in love swear to do more than they can,

but don't do even what is possible".

Well... He said it in a bad mood

He didn't mean it. - Who? Shakespeare?

Then he added: "Difficulties only

make love stronger".

We have more than enough of difficulties.

I can't cope with them.

Oh God, why didn't you get married to Joan of Arc?

She agreed.

I knew I would meet Martha.

But I am only a woman.

Don't ask of me more than I can do.

I am not fit for the 32nd of May.

I say, dear Baron, you can't stretch a woman's patience in this way.

Can't you agree - for her sake, for the sake of your family -

that today is exactly the same date that the calendar indicates?

- How could I? - Yes, you can, my dear! You can.

You are no better then the rest! I'll be quite frank with you:

I am not happy with a lot of things, I don't agree with a lot of things.

Yes, yes! ln particular

I am not happy with our calendar.

And not for the first year.

But I won't let myself do anything rush!

One must know how to chose the right moment.

- But I told the truth. - Damn the truth!

Sometimes a lie is necessary. You understand, a lie.

My God!

Just think of it! I have to explain these Self-evident things to Baron Munchhausen.

You'll drive me mad! Really.

Do you think so too?.. No, don't say a word!

I'll do it myself.

Myself.

All right. Good.

Let it be your way.

What shall I do now?

Well? Are you going to keep silent?

I am tired of explaining the same thing over and over again.

I was naive enough to believe that an extra Spring day...

One more sunset, one more sunrise.

Midday at last.

No, no, let's leave midday as it is.

Whether we like it or not, there is a certain order of things:

...one day comes after another. We can't change the passage of time.

- That's not good. - That's unacceptable!

People won't know holidays from week-days any more.

Worst of all, my dear,

parishioners won't know for sure when it is Christmas and when Easter.

They will be at a loss what to put on. A business frock-coat or a holiday dinner jacket?

Mr. Judge, your highness, The baron has realized his mistake.

Yes, of course he spoke without proper thinking. Now he is sorry!

So you are prepared to acknowledge that today is the 1st of June?

Be it even the 10th.

Not the 10th but the 1st. And don't do favours to us.

So what date is it today?

The 1st.

Louder, please. For everybody.

The 1st.

Now! You see how simple it is.

Baron, you are a reasonable man.

I have always liked you.

I respected you way of thought.

Free shoulder line, tight trousers.

You could become an example for the youth.

They need one badly.

If you could only find peace with yourself

I am sure our dear pastor

There he is! He was wise to stay behind.

He will wed you and your beloved.

Won't you, father? Won't you?

I will, but on one condition: the baron must disavow everything.

- Everything? - Yes, yes, every one of your unholy fantasies.

You must acknowledge that they are all lies!

I insist that it be done in writing.

- In writing? - Yes. You lied in writing and you must disavow in writing.

It should be an official document.

"I baron such and such state that I am a common man"

"That I didn't fly to the Moon, then...

...didn't pull myself by the hair out of the bog, didn't ride on cannon-balls".

"Did not let fried ducks loose"

"Did not grow a cherry tree on the deer's head"

Yes, yes. And thus on every point.

And also in family life, baron, let's do away with fantasies.

Yes, yes, yes. Let's do away with fantasies.

Everything remains the same only no fantasies.

All right. I will sign everything.

Since nobody needs a new day, let it be your way.

That's good. And don't look so tragic, my dear.

Take it with your traditional sense of humour.

Humour!

After all, Galileo disavowed his ideas too.

That's why I always preferred Giordano Bruno.

Well, well. Don't complicate matters.

Baron, you still can secretly believe.

I can't do anything secretly.

I can do things only openly.

Well, well...

My dear!

"I, Baron Munchhausen, am a common man".

Sounds like the first lines of a romance.

"I never flew to the Moon". All right. I didn't.

But

my dear friends, if you only knew how beautiful it is.

White mountains and red stones in the rays of sunset.

All right. I didn't ride the cannon-ball either

in that terrible battle with the Turks when half of my regiment perished.

They drove us into the damned mire, but we held out!

We held out and struck at the flanks.

At that moment my horse took a false step and began to drown.

Then I grabbed my own hair and pulled with all my might

I pulled and we rose over the sedge!

I will sign, I will!

Why invite trouble.

Since nobody needs an extra Spring day

Iet's forget it.

On such a day it is hard to live but easy to die.

In five minutes, dear friends, Baron Munchhausen will be no more.

Baron, my dear, there is a bright side to everything!

At least the town will cease laughing at you.

A pity!

I was not afraid to seem funny. Not every one can afford it.

Before we part I have one more idea. You will all laugh.

Karl. Please, Karl.

Karl!

- Don't! - Karl! Baron!

- I beg you, Karl! - Baron! Baron!

END OF EPISODE ONE

No one in the world will ever be able to fill the gaping abyss

left by the departure of such a man.

But it is our duty to try to make up for our loss.

Every one shall try to do so to the best of his ability.

So, gentlemen, that is almost all. Three years have passed since the day

The heart of baron Munchhausen Stopped beating.

Throughout the three years the famous hero

has been living in the hearts of his noble countrymen.

And let this monument that we are unveiling in his honour

become the symbol... - The symbol is too inexpressive a word.

- OK, let it become not merely a symbol. - That's better.

Let it become not merely a symbol of selfless love of this town

for one of its townsfolk

It will be better to say "for its great son".

That is better.

Let it become a source of courage, bravery,

a spring if optimism

which will never cease to well out... - Rather to spurt.

But a spring usually wells out.

Sometimes it does, but sometimes it spurts. In this case it is better to say "spurt".

Good.

It is not merely good. It is noble.

Is it? lf I were dead he wouldn't say the same about me.

I wonder what will people be saying about me at my funeral?

Let's wait and see.

Well, today is better.

What time is it, Thomas?

The clock struck 3, the baron fell - 2. That makes one.

What nonsense! You must add. 3 plus 2.

We were to add then, but now it is better to subtract.

- Your highness, you are sure to remember this story. - I do.

In the heat of the battle the baron did not notice that his horse had been cut in two.

The one with the cherry tree on its forehead?

Yes, only it was a deer and a different story.

Hold on. And in this story the baron rode ahead on the front half of the horse

and he discovered it only at the watering-place.

The horse could not drink enough. It drank but the water spilled out.

It drank and the water spilled out. Freely.

- And the back half? - What about the back half?

- What was the back half doing? - Grazing nearby.

To what half shall we make a monument?

We had the first half in mind.

- It will be a funny monument, your highness. - A symbol, in a way.

- I would put it differently: a joke. - A metaphor.

With the words "Let it flow in the soul of every German"

water shall start flowing from the horse.

This way, gentlemen! Please.

Please have a look at the model.

Although water flows here at the scale 1 to 10.

- Funny. - Yes, yes.

- On the whole, gentlemen, I like it. - Very good, very.

- An expressive design. - Yes, yes.

It's a pity that it is only one half.

And what if we take the liberty

Of eliminating

- Or bringing closer? - Putting together.

So... It looks even funnier.

A lot. And the water will start flowing at once.

Where shall the water flow? From what place?

Water will not flow from Munchhausen, gentlemen. No need.

He is dear to us simply as Munchhausen, as Karl Friedrich Hieronymus

And whether his horse drinks water or doesn't drink water that is none of our business.

It is not a desert.

Gentlemen, as you know our beloved baron Munchhausen

left his mark in the heart of every citizen of Hanover!

He did not forget about our cowgirls either.

Our dear little Bertha will share

her memories of the deceased with us!

Let us wish her success!

I was a simple cowgirl, I shepherded rams and sheep.

The baron went by in the forest And called me his friend.

I dreamt of marrying him.

I was the beautiful Nefertiti

And I imprisoned the baron,

And he whispered: "Would you like

To go to the Moon with me?"

You will hardly believe me

It was like a dream!

The baron and I The baron and I

Danced on the Moon!

The passage of time has stopped since

I am again shepherding rams.

People keep saying I am insane, That it was all a dream

All that adventure in the forest!

You'll hardly believe

It was like in a dream!

The baron and I The baron and I

Danced on the Moon!

Stop it, Theo, stop. Be a man!

Yes, yes, of course! It is just nerves.

Follow me, gentlemen. Follow me. This way.

Here, gentlemen, you see close friends of our dear baron.

Archimedes, Newton, Shakespeare and other geniuses.

This way, please! The baron's widow, his son, pastor.

Now please proceed into the bedroom.

When I hear all this and remember...

Dear God, dear God, how unfair we were to him, how cruel!

My dear, who could foresee such developments?

We were sincere in our delusions, time has shown us the truth.

Such is the destiny of all great men, contemporaries never understand them.

Contemporaries you said? Perhaps! But we are relatives.

It makes me shudder to remember that I dreamt of a duel with my father!

I wanted to kill him!

We all killed him.

Murderers!

Stop it, Theo! I am sick and tired of your hysterics.

You can't blame yourself all the time.

After all, now, three years after his death

all Germany reverently repeats the name of baron Munchhausen

and first of all it is the merit of his relatives.

We published the collected works of the baron.

Tomorrow his monument will be unveiled!

Well? What else?

If only he were alive.

If one could turn back the time... Ah?

What for, my dear? That is one thing we shall not do.

- Let time pass its usual way. - No!

- Stop it! Control yourself! - But mommy...

- Theo! - But mommy...

- Control yourself, my boy. - All right!

My darling, my beloved, my dear.

- What have we got here? - I don't know.

You've been pulling at your hair again.

- But that is silly. - And very painful.

- Did you try? Ever? - God forbid, baroness. How could I?

- Oh. - Sorry.

- What... what... - Quiet!

The baron asked to forewarn.

- Are they flying? - They are, baron, they are.

- Mother, the are flying! - Control yourself, son!

- They are flying, mother! - Theophil, aren't you tried of it yet?

No, no, let him try once more.

- Theo. - No, mother. Throw it!

- Hop! - Hop!

What a way to throw, mother.

Try again.

Today I feel inspired, pastor.

Let's shoot through the chimney.

Take command, Thomas!

Ready... Fire!

You ought to have placed a duck there beforehand and the just pulled at the string.

I am sure your father did exactly that.

Don't blaspheme!

- Tulips a taller one! - How much are carnations?

- 2 talers. - How do you mean 2 talers? They are withered.

Withered? While the baron was alive nobody cared much for him either.

- But once he withered, he became dear. Withered. - Take here and stick them up your ass!

Go. Go.

2 talers!

What can I do for you? Asters, cyclamens, carnations!

- I'd rather have violets. - Violets? Violets!

A forest flower! I have got only greenhouse plants. Greenhouse.

Take nasturtiums. 3 talers each.

No. My late master liked violets.

- Coarse taste. - What did you say?

Your master had no taste for the real beauty.

Who are you to judge my master?

Baron?!

Don't call me that. I am Muller.

Gardener Muller.

Got it?

Got it, Mr. Muller, baron.

I have always known.

I never believed you were dead.

Even when they said so in the papers I didn't believe it.

I didn't believe it at the funereal service.

And even when they buried you I had my doubts.

I am so happy, baron!

Well... Don't call me that. I told you I am Muller.

To me you are always baron.

Then add "the late" or "the deceased".

And then I fired in the air,

... said good-bye to my former crazy life

and became a common gardener by the name of Muller.

A queer name.

A common one.

Having the name Muller in Germany is like having no name at all.

- Still joking? - I gave it up long ago. Doctors forbade.

Since when did you take to visiting doctors?

Right after my death.

They say humour is useful. A joke prolongs one's life.

Not everyone's.

It prolongs the lives of those who laugh.

But it shortens the days of the one who tells the joke. That's how things are.

- How is frau Martha? - She is all right.

She has a boy.

- Does she? - Yes.

Is he a good boy?

12 kilos.

Does he run?

Why? He walks.

- Does he chatter? - He keeps silent.

A clever boy. He will go far.

What do you do?

Nothing. I just live.

- I grow flowers. - Are they nice flowers?

Profitable.

A taller a flower.

Just think of the number of weddings, jubilees, premiers!

My funeral alone brought me more money then all my previous life.

- Baron, are you here for the night? - Yes.

- And what will frau Martha say? - She has already said.

Here: "Forgive me, darling, but

I am sik of it all"

"Sick"

it is spelled with "ck".

Has she left such wealth?

She has a house, four carriages. She left this life and walked away.

- And you? - I am not mad yet.

I am sorry to have troubled you...

...Mr. Muller.

- What did you call me? - Mr.Muller.

Forgive me, baron!

Away with it all!

Hop!

Go on! Here!

Willie, dear, how did you get here?

Through the door naturally!

My God, how common. It seems I have already told you that

there are certain customs in this house.

Just a moment! Through the window.

Well?

Well, well, well. Are you in a hurry to see me?

Don't worry, it's me.

It's madness! Some one could see you! The servants...

That's all right. They'll take me for the usual ghost.

- What do you want? - To talk to you.

I can't. You are crazy. I am busy!

Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Do you mean to spoil the holiday?

It is unfair! You promised... Oh! Some one is coming.

I beg you, Karl, please,

Let us talk let's talk some other time.

All right. Today at midnight near the monument.

- The monument to whom? - To me.

- I am here! - Very pleased. Come in.

Aren't you dead?

I am.

Yes, yes, a ghost, an apparition. What can be done? Things happen.

Yes, yes, yes! Yes, gentlemen, yes! My scientific treatise

Destroyed the last objections of my opponents!

It is the evidence of what twisted road can truth sometimes choose

in the 2nd half of the 18th century. In other words in our time, gentlemen!

Here you can see the already classical scheme

of pulling oneself by the hair from the mire!

The unforgettable baron did it brilliantly.

Even now some Scholastics and demagogues argue that it is impossible.

Cowards and retrogrades!

As a person, who closely knew the deceased, as his contemporary

I watched this flight with my own eyes more than once!

As a theoretical scientist I maintain that the key

is to find the right point to apply the lever!

Here is the head, here is the arm Apply slight force...

At midnight near my monument.

An important conversation. A must.

That is all. Any questions?

Mr. Burgomaster! His highness the Duke missed again!

It is the fourth time that we make this boar run past his highness

And his highness keeps missing.

Shall we make it run a fifth time?

No. That will be impolite. He already remembers its face.

- Who remembers whom? - The Duke remembers the boar.

What a disgrace! Royal hunting! What have we come to?!

We can't cope with a single wild boar!

Sorry, Mr. Burgomaster, his highness is not happy with the forest.

Dark, damp and so on.

He wishes he could shoot a bear.

- Where on earth shall I get a bear for him? - Perhaps we could borrow one from the Gypsies?

Do whatever you like

But in half an hour the forest must be dry, bright and have a bear!

Damp, dark, bears...

It drives me mad!

As though he doesn't know that we do not have bears any more.

By the way, baron, I've long meant to ask you where did you

...get bears? - I don't quite remember. In the forest, I believe.

No, that is not possible. Bears are not found in our forests any more.

We have to talk.

Just imagine! What have we come to? Stealing bears from the Gypsies!

And once we were almost the homeland of bears.

But now this is a problem too.

- You don't have time for me now. At midnight near the monument. - Right.

Karl, Karl, I feel so lonely without you.

There is no one I can talk to or ask advice from!

- I believe it is a bear. - Let it be.

We cannot value friends while they are alive. We realize their significance only

when they leave us. - Then I shall leave.

We hurry, fuss around.

What is the use? What for?

You are all I wanted.

Get lost!

So many of them!

Now, gentlemen,

I've invited you to tell you most unwelcome news.

Damn, a very nice sentence to begin a play with.

I must suggest it to somebody some day.

Karl, please, don't digress.

So, my dear friends!

Three years ago by mutual agreement I departed this life.

We made a gentlemen's agreement that neither

you nor I should bother each other.

I abided by this condition but you did not.

- But dear baron! - The excuses will come later.

While you were burying my body I tried not to pay any attention

But when you started the service for my soul...

Wait, wait, I don't understand anything. What is it all about?

This. "Collected adventures of Baron Munchhauzen".

- So what? What? - I don't get it. What don't you like?

- By the way, it's a fine edition! - Those are not my adventures, that is not my life.

It has been smoothed, combed, powdered and castrated.

The usual editorial work.

- Dear Jakobina, you know me, don't you. - Yes.

- When they try to cut me up, I can stand that. - I know.

But when something is added, it becomes unbearable.

Please, understand, my dear, you are no longer your own master.

- You are a myth! - A what?

- A myth. - A legend! Tales are told about your new adventures.

- No tale can invent such idiotic things. - Well, that's too much!

Yes, Mr. Ramkopf. I demand that this disruptive book be withdrawn from circulation.

And now concerning the monument. I don't like it.

Take for example the picture in which I pierce a dozen Englishmen with a spear!

My dear, but you did fight with England.

You know perfectly well that not a drop of blood was shed in that war.

And I maintain that blood was shed! I have witnesses, people who saw it.

I never attacked with such a savage face as is shown in the picture.

You never looked at yourself from other people's point of view.

I never shouted: "Englishmen are pigs!" That is nasty. I love the English.

- As you know I was Shakespeare's friend. - Yes, I know.

In short I object to this monument.

- Karl, dear. - What do you mean you object?

Probably we have all wronged you.

Probably there are a number of inaccuracies.

But I am your old friend and believe me the only reason was our immense love.

- We won't have time to do anything now! - Our immense love an respect.

- The baroness is right. - Tomorrow, tomorrow is the 32nd of May!

- Yes! - The baroness is right.

You are no longer your own master. You are our pride. And so

- The guests have gathered! - Yes!

That's why we are making this monument.

Do you mean to spoil our holiday? Do you?

Let the inaccuracies alone. In two years we'll make another monument

A more truthful one. - No, no, no.

I ask you! Do you mean to spoil the holiday?

What is wrong, ah? You are like mad. I can see it in your face

that something is wrong. Tell me, tell your old friend! What is it?

Martha has left me.

She is crazy. Ungrateful filth! A scullery-maid!

She thinks it is easy to be a lover of such a man.

Mean woman. We'll bring her back.

Nothing serious. We'll talk her into coming back.

No, you don't know her. I will have to bring myself back first.

- What do you mean? - I decided to resurrect.

- No. - Karl, Karl...

- You will do nothing of the sort. - You understand yourself...

- You can't. - What for?

- A holiday... - We are all grown-up people

- No, no, you will do nothing like that! - I will.

But you are dead, baron Munchhuasen. You are buried.

- You have a grave. - You'll have to pull it down.

No, no and no! We are no going to pull down the grave.

Please understand, my dear. Under the circumstances I will be forced to take extreme measures.

It won't stop me.

Farewell, gentlemen. I am very sorry, but...

I am sorry too, but the burgomaster cannot allow some impostor

to infringe upon holy names.

How very interesting.

You have changed a lot since I last saw you, Mr.Burgomaster.

And you were wrong not to.

Here are the facts: the excerpt from the church records

... certificate for the baron's death, certificate for the coffin.

There are more then enough proofs it seems.

But the accused still persists in his statement!

Making use of his facial similarity with the baron

appropriating his manner of walking, his voice even his fingerprints

the accused is naive enough to believe he can fool us

and make us recognize in him our dear baron

to whom we said farewell 3 years ago!

I vividly remember that service. I read the burial service myself.

We are waiting, accused. Do you refuse to answer question of the jury?

Fine! Let's listen to his relatives and close friends.

Baroness Jakobina von Munchhausen is called out as a witness.

Witness, take a good look at the the accused.

Do you know this man?

- Yes. - Who is he?

This is the gardener Muller. Good morning, gardener.

How did you come to meet him?

He provides flowers for the grave of my late husband.

Witness, forgive my absurd question but does the accused look

Iike the late baron at all? Take a good look.

There probably is some resemblance but only the slightest.

Thank you, baroness.

Frau Martha, frau Martha!

Frau Martha, there is serious trouble the baron has risen from the dead.

There will be trouble, frau Martha!

Witness, can you at least remotely

recognize the accused as your dead father?

- Never! - That is enough.

Please spare the tender soul of this youth any further questions.

I have a question to my son.

I object! This is not your son, he is the son of Baron Munchhausen!

Yes, yes, of course. Forgive me. Although it sounds funny

it probably is the result of some incomprehensible natural phenomenon.

Wine turns to vinegar, Munchhausen becomes Theofilus.

I hate you! Enough. The duel. Here and now.

- Through the handkerchief. - I object!

Stop it, witness! You can't fight a duel with the accused.

You are a baron, he is a gardener. Take your seat!

Mr.Burgomaster, please!

Sorry. I would like to avoid this unpleasant duty.

No, that is impossible.

You were a friend of the late baron. You evidence is essential.

Judge...

I am not a young man any more!

My eyesight is weak, my memory is unreliable. I may be mistaken.

- Do you recognize the baron in the accused? - I don't know.

Take your time.

Well, well. Come closer, take a better look.

My eyesight is poor. The most important thing is...

Try to feel.

Feel.

Upon my word, some times it seems like

that is him and then that it is not. No, no! What if...

It seems likely that... How can I rely upon my own judgment when

I have complete confidence in the court. It will be as you say.

What a disgrace!

What a disgrace. And this is our burgomaster!

Come on, burgomaster, come on.

Sorry, judge. Sorry, Baroness.

Sorry, accused.

I am at work.

If they decide you are Munchhausen I'll embrace you.

If they decide you are Muller

I will imprison you. That's all I can do for you.

- Prosecutor, are you finished? - I am. I believe that is enough.

Accused, do you have any witnesses for the defense?

Unfortunately not.

Yes, there are!

Martha!

Martha!

Well. I request a break in the proceedings. I don't feel well. Here is the certificate.

The proceedings are adjourned till tomorrow. Break, break, break!

Here.

You want to participate in the hearings?

I want to tell the truth!

Remember, frau Martha, if he repents we are sure to obtain mercy.

Otherwise he will be sentenced to at least 10 years of imprisonment.

- 10 years, frau Martha! - Calm down, Henrikh.

If some one wants to tell the truth he has the right to do so.

I only wish I knew what sort of truth you intend to tell.

- Truth is unique! - There is no such thing as truth.

Yes. The truth is what is considered true at the moment.

Can this well-fed merchant, this quiet family man be Munchhausen?

God forbid! I admire you!

In three years you managed to do with my husband something

I could not accomplish in 20 years. Bravo.

Bravo.

So now when our joint efforts have yielded successful results

why start everything all over again? - I love him.

What has you love given him? A dull, uninteresting life!

And now the dock! Tomorrow it will be prison or death!

Bear in mind, frau Martha, that in case the investigation comes to a standstill

we shall have to make an expertise.

- What does it mean? - It means

That he will be thrown into the mire or made to ride a cannon-ball.

- The real cannon-ball, frau Martha! - Yes, yes the real cannon-ball.

My God! Do you absolutely have to kill a man

before you can realize that he is alive?

Well said. Very! But we have no other way out.

So now when you know everything it is for you to decide.

My advice is: don't hurry to become a widow of Munchhausen.

This position is occupied.

Accused Muller, you have a visitor.

I am ready to return to you.

I shall stand everything.

Me? Never.

You face imprisonment.

A nice place.

Here next to me are Ovid, Cervantes.

We shall be knocking at the walls.

You must be talking to your visitor. Talk.

Karl, you don't know the most important thing.

They've invented some terrible expertise!

At last we'll be doing real business!

No, Karl, they want to kill you! Do you understand?

Well...

Let's be honest to the very end.

No my darling.

That must be my fate, to give up at the most difficult moment.

I will give evidence that you are Muller.

I will betray you.

I will tell them that you are a gardener and I am your wife.

We were wed at a parish church. We have a boy.

Don't do that, Martha.

Close the gates!

Gentlemen, gentlemen! I repeat it is a closed court experiment!

- Entrance only with special permission! - Mr.Ramkopf!

No, no, no! I can't do anything today. Nothing! Next time!

I can't do anything today! Next time, please!

- Pastor, pastor! - Well?

Ask them to let me in!

I've got here some things he might need on his way. After all it's a long way.

- Do you really think he will complete the flight? - To the Moon? Of course.

You can't even see it.

When you can see, every fool can fly to it! The baron likes difficulties.

- Amazing. - What is amazing your highness?

I mean it is amazing the way our people is in harmony with nature.

- Oh! I shall remember that. - You'd better put it down.

- Jakobina... - Stop! No hysterics, I beg you!

- Jakobina, everything is ready. - Leave me alone. Mother!

- You can't go there, baron. - I have the right...

- He's with me! - Keep quiet, people are watching.

Enough! All my life I've been keeping quiet. I am sick and tired of it!

- And what if this gardener reaches the Moon and we lose again? - Quiet.

- No, we can't miss this opportunity! I'll fly with him! - Stop?

- He is with me! Leave him alone! - My boy, come here, come to me!

- First of all, there isn't enough room for you two in here. - That's out of the question.

Secondly there will be no flight at all!

Jakobina, I did ask you! A court secret!

All right, just between us. Everything has been rehearsed in advance.

We placed damp powder into the cannon.

- Why damp? - We are not murderers.

He will fly no more than 4 meters and fall to the ground.

Everything will be proved and he will go back to his flowers.

Won't there be anything unwanted?

God forbid, your highness!

Everything will be played out to the letter. The overture will be followed by the questioning.

Then the convict's last words, cannon fire, general merriment, dancing.

On the whole your idea is interesting.

Yes, yes, the idea is interesting.

Shall we begin, frau Martha? Please, deliver your lines.

Well.

God, forgive us all, bless us and try

to ensure that first of all everything goes smoothly and secondly

No more time. Pastor, no more time. Time to begin.

Let frau Martha begin!

Good. A pink dress against the gray background looks good.

The waistline is a little too high but on the whole it is not bad.

Good morning, frau Martha.

Have you brought the request for mercy?

I have.

Read it.

I, Martha, the wife of gardener Muller

Ask you to have mercy on my insane husband.

Let me at least put a different date.

On no account. You must read your lines accurately.

Your highness! I entreat you

On this day, the 32nd of May

1773

- Excellent, frau Martha! - Do you promise that nothing will happen to him?

I have already explained to you, the powder is damp. He will fall from the muzzle

to the ground to general amusement! At the most he might get slight bruises.

In order to identify you, accused,

and to prevent any mistake we suggest that you in front of the witnesses

repeat baron Munchhausen's famous feat, that of flying to the Moon!

I warn you, you have the right to refuse.

No! I agree.

Then, let's start the confession.

I've been doing it all my life. But no one believed me.

- Please, unburden your soul. - It happened of its own accord, pastor.

I had a friend.

He betrayed me.

I had a loved one.

She denounced me. I fly away with a light heart.

Rude! We like so much...

Always...

...That is not the main thing - Yes.

Why did you agree to participate in this farce?

I did it for the sake of our love.

I no longer believe in it.

Why can't I hear? I don't understand what they are talking about.

Your highness, the accused thanks the town authorities

and at the same time as it were jokes with his beloved.

Good. The lace collar and the tuck at the front are especially becoming.

And he does look like the late baron.

Do you remember, when we visited Archimedes he said

"Love is a theorem that we must prove every day"

- Say something to me as a farewell. - What?

What?

- Say something to me as a farewell. - What?

Think!

There is always something important to say at such a moment!

I... I...

I will be waiting for you!

Not that!

I...

I love you very much!

Not that!

- I will be faithful to you! - No need.

They put the damp powder, Karl! They want to interfere with your flight, Karl!

That's it!

Thank you.

Thank you, Martha.

Let everyone envy! No one else has such a woman.

My God. A druggist's daughter is a druggist's daughter.

Thomas, have you brought what I asked you to?

Yes, baron! Here it is!

Is this dry? Sure?

Yes! It will blow up all right!

Farewell, gentlemen!

I will fly away now and we are most likely never to see each other again!

When I come back next time

You will be no more.

The thing is that time

flies differently on Earth and in the sky.

A second there is equal to an age here! Everything is relative.

But it'll take a lot of time to explain.

My God, I am so tired of dying.

Ignite the fuse!

Your highness, the situation is extreme!

Your highness, I know him. He will not stop.

Everything is going to blow up your highness!

- And me too? - I tell you, everything!

- Where is the commander in chief? - He is in command.

Your highness! Please,

Please acknowledge that he is the baron!

That is not dangerous, your highness. It can be looked upon as a humanitarian act.

Even more so since you yourself said He resembles the late baron!

- He does! - Look at his eyes, at his face!

- Everything! The looks of the baron! - The Baron as large as life!

- Does he resemble the baron? - He does!

- He does! Your highness! - He does!

Where is the commander in chief?

I don't understand anything any more. Is that him or not?

You can't wait 2 minutes?

- You must speak. - Your highness, I'll do everything in my power.

Stop, accused! Your highness, please.

Well now. We all must have been wrong to some degree.

Gentlemen! Following the successful experiment

the Court of Hanover rules that...

Since everything happened this way let it be this way.

... is ruled! His honour rules that the accused

should be considered baron Munchhausen! - Right.

Some people here are now taking the liberty of making false pockets

and tight sleeves. That is something we won't allow.

Long live, gentlemen! Long live! This is baron Munchhausen!

That is him!

Karl, I can recognize you now!

Theo, why are you standing still? Look who has come!

Daddy!

Daddy!

Daddy!

Wait, wait!

Karl, I've always known! I have! But it is all so unexpected!

- Congratulations! - On what?!

On your successful return from the Moon!

That is not true! I haven't been to the Moon this time!

What do you mean you haven't? The protocol says you have.

It's a lie!

Join in unobtrusively.

Join in.

Yes, of course.

When my husband was flying, I was so nervous.

There is one thing I can tell you: I believed he would come back.

Join us, baron, join us.

Join us.

Long live!

Join us, baron, join us.

Baron, join us. Join us, baron.

Where are you going?

Join us, baron.

Baron, join us.

Yes, gentlemen, yes.

It was my husband's third trip to the Moon.

The first two trips we made together.

Then, I'll write about it some time.

Join us, baron.

Join us.

My God!

If you only knew how sick and tired I am of you all.

Won't you understand

Baron Munchhasuen is famous not for flying to the Moon,

but for not lying.

If I promised that I would fly to the Moon again

I must do it.

Are you ready, Martha?

Thomas, go home, get the supper ready!

When I come back let it be 6 o'clock!

6 in the morning or 6 in the afternoon?

6 in the midday.

I know what your trouble is. You are too serious.

A clever face is not as yet an indication of cleverness.

All silly things on Earth

Are done with a clever Look on one's face.

Smile, gentlemen!

Smile!

WRITTEN BY GRIGORIY GORIN

DIRECTED BY MARK ZAHAROV

DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY VLADIMIR NAHABTSEV

PRODUCTION DESIGNER GEORGY KOLGANOV

COMPOSER ALEXEI RYBNIKOV

SOUND BY YURIY RABINOVICH CONDUCTOR SERGEI SKRIPKA,

DIRECTOR LEONID CHERTOK CAMERAMAN SERGEI ARMAND

COSTUME DESIGNER N.FIRSOVA, FILM EDITING I.TSEKAVAYA, MAKE-UP N.MINAYEVA

SPECIAL PHOTOGRAPHY: DIRECTOR V.YAKUBOVICH, DESIGNER I.IVANOVA

GENERAL EDITOR I.VINOGRADOV MUSICAL EDITOR A.LAPISOV

PRODUCTION MANAGER LAZAR MILKIS

CAST

BARON MUNCHHAUSEN - OLEG YANKOVSKY

JAKOBINA MUNCHHAUSEN - INNA CHURIKOVA MARTA - YELENA KORENEVA

BURGOMASTER - IGOR KVASHA, RAMKOPF - ALEKSANDR ABDULOV, THEOPHIL - LEONID YARMOLNIK, THOMAS - YURI KATIN-YARTSEV

PASTOR - VLADIMIR DOLINSKY, DUKE - LEONID BRONEVOY, COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF - SEMYON FARADA, JUDGE - VSEVOLOD LARIONOV

EXTRAS: V.ALEXANDROV, A.AMASPYURYANTS, V.VINTSEN, G.MALIKOV, YU.MARTYNOV, K.NITS, G.OSHKOLUP, N.PALLADINA, O.SOKOLOV, L.POLISCHUK

A.SKORYAKIN, O.SOKOLOV, M.HOHARINA, S.TORKACHEVSKY, V.FIRSOV, V.IANOVSKIS, I.YASULOVICH

THE END "MOSFILM STUDIOS", 1979