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1
00:00:00,540 --> 00:00:04,490
- What's the matter with you, Leslie? - I have
to live with you. What's the matter with you?
2
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:07,740
Well, I'm not sneery and prickly
and I don't smell like feet!
3
00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:13,930
Have a ruddy bath, find a ruddy job
and... change your personality!
4
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,690
You know what? I had more fun
in that police cell than here.
5
00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:19,650
Ask yourself why, because I've
given you a loving and happy home.
6
00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:21,570
Maybe I'm not the happy kind.
7
00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:24,620
Well, you're making us feel the same way.
8
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,210
Adolescents are all
hard work, aren't they?
9
00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:17,250
How was Larry at 18?
10
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:21,170
Er... Like a tall, evil
goblin, but sort of fun.
11
00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:26,020
Whereas Leslie, who I love,
obviously, is a twit with a gun.
12
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:30,010
Ugh.
13
00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:33,460
- What is this?
- Oh, you don't want to know.
14
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,250
- Oh, Margo has got a job, though.
- Congratulations.
15
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,290
Companion to the Countess Mavrodaki.
16
00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:42,210
Well, we all need someone to be with.
17
00:01:42,940 --> 00:01:47,730
If you mean Sven, I am tired of trying
to break through his bloody shell.
18
00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:49,250
Oh, but he's so handsome.
19
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,770
Yeah, and wouldn't it
be nice if, just once,
20
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:56,530
a man could look good with his shirt
off and want to share some thoughts?
21
00:01:56,580 --> 00:01:58,650
Isn't love worth pursuing?
22
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,370
Is this bile?
23
00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:04,450
Who knows? Patients are full of
surprises. Don't change the subject.
24
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,900
Yes, love is worth pursuing.
25
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,090
Hey!
26
00:02:29,340 --> 00:02:32,210
Why is everyone shouting at me today?
27
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,820
Look, I know this is Greece, but
you're gonna have to speak English.
28
00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:03,250
Louisa.
29
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,780
Sven.
30
00:03:08,740 --> 00:03:10,970
Are you busy or just being rude?
31
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,490
I'm busy.
32
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,850
Do you have to be so secretive?
33
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:19,410
I've already got a son at home who is about
to implode because he can't express himself.
34
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,370
I just like my privacy.
35
00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:25,930
Right. I just thought we knew each other
well enough to pop by and say hello.
36
00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:28,250
Well, sometimes a man is an island.
37
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:29,890
Oh?
38
00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:32,930
It's 'no man is an island', you idiot.
39
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,980
Right, well, I'll get back to my family.
40
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:45,810
Your principal function will be to
read to me, as my eyes tire easily.
41
00:03:45,860 --> 00:03:48,090
I know, mine are the same.
42
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,370
Well, I hope not.
43
00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,300
No. Sorry.
44
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,290
I was just trying to agree with you.
45
00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:59,060
My last job was a bit of a calamity,
so I need this to go well.
46
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:06,250
Demetrios used to read to me, but
his voice is rather unpleasant.
47
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,810
It isn't and my name is Dennis.
48
00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:12,730
He's still learning where to place
the cutlery around the table.
49
00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:18,380
So I am delighted to have
you here as my companion.
50
00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,740
Mowgli!
51
00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:31,730
Something's crawled into it.
52
00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:34,320
It's two beautiful bats. Look.
53
00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:36,530
I don't want to see bats!
54
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,650
No more frigging wildlife out here.
55
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,690
They've got to go somewhere.
56
00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:42,250
Outdoors?
57
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,370
Where they came from?
58
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,010
God!
59
00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:53,770
One collects them, the
other executes them.
60
00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:55,570
I hate that turkey farmer.
61
00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,650
Crippenopoulos? Yes.
62
00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,690
Crusty. Vile.
63
00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:02,010
- Money-grabbing weasel.
- Is that his name?
64
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:03,850
Crippenopoulos? No.
65
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:05,890
So why call him that, then?
66
00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:11,100
Because he's like the murderer
Crippen. I've added the Greek
suffix "opoulos" because we're in...
67
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:16,050
Please find me some cleverer people.
68
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,570
Oh, will you piss off
upstairs and do your typing.
69
00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:22,290
I'm recharging my batteries, while I
find out if they'll publish my novel.
70
00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:25,540
That's a story in book
form, with chapters.
71
00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:29,340
I found some baby owls in the woods.
72
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:32,330
And I've put the bats somewhere safe!
73
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:50,580
Roger, shush. No-one likes a loud mouth.
74
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:06,300
So, are you a pain, because your
so-called girlfriend is miles away?
75
00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:13,340
Are you one, because you'll never
ever get another girlfriend?
76
00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:18,580
Bog.
77
00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:46,410
Who's there?
78
00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:49,210
Leslie!
79
00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:51,540
Oh, come on!
80
00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:58,570
Get them out!
81
00:06:58,620 --> 00:06:59,960
Leslie!
82
00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:02,800
Leslie, I mean it!
83
00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:04,860
Ah! Aaah!
84
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,780
Leslie!
85
00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,850
Help me!
86
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,460
Leslie!
87
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:20,500
Leslie!
88
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,440
Here we go again. What?
89
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,620
Oh, my God, he's got rabies.
90
00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:44,820
Help! Help!
91
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,890
Urgh! Uhh!
92
00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:51,420
Help!
93
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,090
Larry?
94
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,130
Whoo! God!
95
00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:57,770
Oh, darling. Oh!
96
00:07:57,820 --> 00:08:00,330
- I want Leslie dead.
- I'll deal with this.
97
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,090
He's got to learn.
98
00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:03,940
What's going on?
99
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,780
No.
100
00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:09,730
You've killed it.
101
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,450
- It's only a bat, Gerry.
- They're lovely.
102
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,290
All creatures are.
103
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:17,810
Especially the ones no-one likes.
104
00:08:17,860 --> 00:08:19,460
Oh.
105
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,850
Go on, then. Take your misery out on me.
106
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,490
A tent. For you to live in.
107
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:30,060
In the garden until you start to
appreciate the home and family life.
108
00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:36,740
So where are you intending to sleep?
109
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,370
Don't you...
110
00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:48,290
dare.
111
00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:49,940
Get off!
112
00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:23,140
Sotos.
113
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,650
- Leslie.
- English.
114
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:35,460
Erm...
115
00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:38,820
Can I stay with you?
116
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:58,750
Lady Marchmont watched Sir Timothy's
hands dancing on the piano keys.
117
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,350
Even the back of his neck was handsome.
118
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,720
Mm.
119
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,920
- How's it coming along?
- Splendidly.
120
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,990
You don't get any better, do you?
121
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,270
But Lady Marchmont's head was in turmoil.
122
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:19,750
Well, it would be.
123
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,870
So she asked for a cold compress
and took it with her to her room,
124
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,070
which tended, in any case, to be chilly.
125
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,230
You're reading it like that, are you?
126
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,950
Jealousy does not become you.
127
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,150
Shall I bring you some easier fruit?
128
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,140
You're a rude man.
129
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,070
Lugaretzia, if that's Greek for
"You're a dreadful mother",
130
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,310
I will make you clean out the pelican.
131
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:08,510
- Leslie is best child.
- Yes. I know you think Leslie is best child.
132
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:11,560
Now please go and ask Spiro to find him.
133
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:21,430
Well, I've run out of good books to
read, so I might as well sort you out.
134
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,350
Sort me out? If you hadn't been so
unkind to Leslie, he'd still be here.
135
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,150
You're so shirty.
136
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,190
I smell man trouble.
137
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:30,830
If you mean Sven,
138
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:35,590
as everybody seems so intent on shoving
us together, he's clearly not interested.
139
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:40,030
Well, he wouldn't be the first moody
Swede. You're better off with a Finn.
140
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,620
Well, there weren't any Finns.
141
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,270
Anyway, he seems to enjoy being...
142
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,310
.. strong and silent and... well...
143
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,830
male.
144
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,270
- So he's like Mr Darcy, in --
- Yes, I know what book Mr Darcy is in!
145
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,870
Thank you.
146
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,590
And for all the failings of English
men, at least I understand them.
147
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,630
And England.
148
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,950
Smug, tweedy old England?
149
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,790
Pudding Island?
150
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,180
What's wrong with pudding?
151
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,670
Leslie, eat.
152
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,160
Thanks.
153
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,990
First... run round.
154
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,590
What?
155
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,430
To eat, run round.
156
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,470
What? Run round the shack?
157
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,520
Bugger off.
158
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,700
Darling, don't, supper's nearly ready.
159
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,500
Listen, this is important.
160
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,590
I have to get hold of better clothing
or I won't get the boyfriend I want.
161
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,910
The Countess has gorgeous clothes.
162
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,430
A true boyfriend will love you even
if you're wearing a dirty old sack.
163
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,470
Mrs Durrell.
164
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,270
Your son Leslie.
165
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:38,020
- What's happened?
- He is living with bad people.
166
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,350
Oh, darling.
167
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,390
Please come home.
168
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,030
- No. You chucked me out.
- I know and it was wrong.
169
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,630
But you are way out of
your depth with these men.
170
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,670
They're my friends.
171
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,830
Well, at least let me come in and tidy.
172
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,680
- No.
- Leslie!
173
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:09,040
I don't know what's gone wrong
between us. How can I make it better?
174
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:11,950
I...
175
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,540
I just can't seem to be happy.
176
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,790
Mrs Durrell.
177
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,550
- Kalispera.
- Ah, good evening. Kalispera.
178
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:25,430
- I come to arrest. - The gentlemen
who live here don't seem to be at
home. My son is just about to leave.
179
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,910
- Yes. I want him. - What? - Why?
180
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,900
But you can't do that! What's he done?
181
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,630
Leslie?
182
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,880
I haven't done anything!
183
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,560
I miss my bat, Lugaretzia. I'm
going to give him a good send-off.
184
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,800
Leslie's shorts.
185
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,710
Herete.
186
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,190
Hello.
187
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,830
My name's Margo.
188
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,470
Angel.
189
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,040
You know, like an angel.
190
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,070
So, er, you like to watch me at work.
191
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,260
Yes, I love gardening.
192
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:34,640
- Killing turkeys is a serious crime. He's
bailed for a week. - Thank you, Officer.
193
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,710
It's so unfair!
194
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,790
Sssh! You're only out on bail.
They can arrest you again.
195
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,390
It's outrageous. Why
bother to respect the law?
196
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:47,070
The farmer obviously thinks we have
tons of money and we'll roll over --
197
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,830
You've always told me
honesty is its own reward.
198
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,870
Well, it's not true. Is it?
199
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,710
Leslie, just... come home.
200
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,550
Lugaretzia's beside herself.
201
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,670
Larry's written you a very funny poem
based on the Ballad Of Reading Gaol.
202
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,030
Well, we all miss you, darling, terribly.
203
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,220
Well, I don't miss you.
204
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,070
Lady Margo, you are stunning.
205
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,670
Yes, Angel, I am. Very much so...
206
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,320
I'm... I'm sorry. I'll take it off.
207
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,910
I'll have to tell the Countess.
208
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,950
What? No. Why?
209
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,150
The villa is her entire universe.
210
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,940
She insists on knowing everything.
211
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,590
Please don't dislike me.
212
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,670
I don't dislike you.
213
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:48,070
But I am the Countess's
guard dog, in human form.
214
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,110
You're going to have me sacked.
215
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,150
She decides everything.
216
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,800
That's why it's the Villa
Mavrodaki. Not the Villa Dennis.
217
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:02,670
They've charged him with threatening
our local farmer, shooting,
218
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,990
letting our dog savage his turkeys
219
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,030
and failure to pay compensation.
220
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,470
A pack of lies! Is it a pack of lies?
221
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,230
Of course it is.
222
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,470
But he has to appear in court next week.
223
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,510
I need you two to be our lawyers.
224
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,390
Is that wise? We are respectively
a biologist and a taxi-driver.
225
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,630
Yes, but between you, you
know everything and everyone.
226
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,680
I couldn't find or afford anybody else.
227
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,230
I'm disappointed with you, Margo.
228
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,750
But you seemed so easy-going.
229
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,390
I thought you'd let me try on a dress.
230
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,430
I'd let you try on mine.
231
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,950
I am relieving you of your
duties, for gross disobedience.
232
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,100
Do let me stay. My mother would be so sad.
233
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,510
I find adults very confusing.
234
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,040
Go now!
235
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,670
Oh, but you're so serious, my dear.
236
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,670
Your face.
237
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,270
Have the dress.
238
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,460
I hear it becomes you.
239
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:13,760
Now read to me. We've a
whole library to get through.
240
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,270
Oh... No, don't come now.
241
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,750
- Well, speak.
- Don't be angry.
242
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,590
I come in peace.
243
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,870
Oh.
244
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,470
So it's OK for you to come and call on me,
but not for me to come and call on you.
245
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,310
I apologise. I...
246
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,150
I felt unsure.
247
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,600
Oh, you were feeling unsure?
248
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,950
What are you doing here?
249
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000
I like it here.
250
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,030
And I like you.
251
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,680
So why do we argue all the time?
252
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,000
Because, as a woman, you get upset.
253
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,140
It's... tiring.
254
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,120
Or, as a man, you don't
tell me what you're thinking.
255
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,940
I mean, it is like talking to fog.
256
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,910
What do you want to know?
257
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,950
What's stopping us?
258
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,750
Is it me? Is it my... my children?
259
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,120
No.
260
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,790
I like children,
261
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,580
your children.
262
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,480
But it's true, I'm used
to being on my own.
263
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,480
Perhaps change makes me anxious.
264
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,230
Well...
265
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,480
Well, no, that was good.
Well, don't stop there!
266
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,960
So it is me.
267
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,200
Oh. Sorry.
268
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,480
Whisky inside.
269
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,950
Locked.
270
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,950
Oh.
271
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,310
- Shoot.
- Oh, should we?
272
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,350
I'm supposed to be on bail.
273
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,110
Let's go and play some football...
274
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,670
Shoot.
275
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,720
Or we shoot you.
276
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,630
They're eating the queen.
277
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,270
Oh. How lovely.
278
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,190
This is going to be our burial area.
279
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,670
I had rather expected
to be buried in England.
280
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,750
No. I mean, for my bat.
281
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,630
Oh.
282
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:39,380
Could you please find me
a Greek Orthodox priest?
283
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,710
The Countess gave me a dress!
284
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,270
Your job is not job.
285
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,710
This is job.
286
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:59,150
It's actually hard work reading love stories
where the most they do is breathe heavily.
287
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,430
Oh...!
288
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,870
I'm going to snip some pages out.
289
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:06,270
When did anyone ever really
"feel their heart skip a beat"?
290
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,030
- I do.
- All the time.
291
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,590
You should read the
posh ignoramus my novel.
292
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,430
She's not an ignoramus.
She has a huge library.
293
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,470
Ooh, ask her to let me borrow from it.
294
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,350
Oh, you're not so rude now.
295
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,870
- No. - But I've run
out of books to read.
296
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,790
You'd better write another one then.
297
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,640
I'm still waiting for the
first one to be accepted.
298
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,550
I don't like it when she does that.
299
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,600
No. Nor do I.
300
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,950
Who peed on my shoes?
301
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,720
Your mother.
302
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,710
These were very expensive.
303
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,960
We went on a special trip
to London to get them.
304
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,640
I don't think we can be
best friends any more.
305
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,550
What do you think?
306
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,150
Oh, my goodness.
307
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,870
That is so beautiful.
308
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,070
Wearing this, I feel like I could
do anything and have any man.
309
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:30,790
Margo!
310
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
Oh, Leslie.
311
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,670
Oh, I am so worried about you.
312
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,390
Stop, I'm all right.
313
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,630
What's that smell?
314
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,480
My shoes.
315
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,800
That little bastard Creech!
316
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,430
Mrs Durrell, good morning.
317
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,630
Oh. You.
318
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,790
Your face looked like an
overcast day in Bootle,
319
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,240
the last time we met, so...
320
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,590
- I'm off the drink.
- Oh.
321
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,630
- Oh.
- Lost the beard.
322
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,680
Bought a cravat. Ha!
323
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,220
Thank you.
324
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,030
I'm here to invite you onto my yacht.
325
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,270
Sailing is one of the
few things I do well.
326
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,790
Oh.
327
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,390
Ah.
328
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,440
- Didn't he get drunk here and
you nearly shot him? - Yes.
329
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,640
Thank you and that reminds me why a
trip out with you would be a bad idea.
330
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,310
Mummy, we're starting.
331
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,350
- Ooh! Lunch?
- A bat funeral.
332
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,760
Ah.
333
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,640
This is grander than Dad's funeral.
334
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,790
What was Captain Creech doing here?
335
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,190
He was inviting me on his yacht.
336
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,230
I said no.
337
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:53,870
Say yes!
338
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,910
Stop fretting about Les.
339
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,990
He'll always be a mess.
340
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:02,110
- Let your hair down.
- You have no idea about parenting, do you?
341
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,960
You're supposed to fuss. Idiot!
342
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:19,350
And Gerry is grieving for
this bat, of all things.
343
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,070
Well, it's obviously a
displaced sense of loss
344
00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:25,710
and not feeling connected
and anxiety for his sibling.
345
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,360
I know that.
346
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,230
I asked Theo to encourage
him in the science of it.
347
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,870
Death, life...
348
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,350
compost.
349
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,230
Compost?
350
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,270
But I'm very glad he's developing
his spiritual interest, too.
351
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,150
Well, maybe that's what Leslie needs.
352
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:45,320
Oh, no. He'd take it too far. He'd be
frogmarching us all to the church at gunpoint.
353
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,950
Sven goes to the Greek Orthodox
Church. He's a dark horse.
354
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,600
I don't want to talk about him.
355
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,280
He started talking. He
started opening up about...
356
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:01,280
.. liking children and, you know,
and then he just walked away.
357
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:08,430
But sod him. Because I have a captain
friend who has a big boat that he's
taking me out on, on Thursday.
358
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,110
Well, it's good you don't
want to talk about him.
359
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,950
In fact, if you could get Sven to
come to the harbour when I'm leaving,
360
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,800
I'll get hold of a stunning
dress for the occasion.
361
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,580
And I can watch his face
as I step off that yacht.
362
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,750
Was that the flicker of interest from him?
363
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,070
Or were they really
totally severely in love?
364
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:31,630
Mrs Durrell to see you, madam.
365
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,270
Sorry to bother you.
366
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,920
Margo left home with a sniffle
and I wanted to check she's well.
367
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:46,150
Oh, by the way, I loved
the dress you gave Margo.
368
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,190
You have exquisite taste.
369
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:49,870
Thank you.
370
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,590
And many, many dresses, I gather.
371
00:27:56,040 --> 00:28:00,200
The truth is, like you, I'm a
widow and... well, I'm struggling.
372
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,710
I was wondering if you might
have a spare frock for me.
373
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,190
Oh, of course.
374
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,630
I'm sure we can find something
for you, can't we, Demetrios?
375
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,350
Dennis.
376
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,270
Pack the purple gown for Mrs Durrell.
377
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,790
Now I know it's rather
showy, but what do you think?
378
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,910
Say if it's horrible.
379
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:34,750
Margo?
380
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,510
I thought I might wear it on Creech's
yacht tomorrow. For fun, you know.
381
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,560
Well, yes. Why not?
382
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:49,480
- I think you'll look nice whatever you wear.
- Thank you, darling.
383
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,940
He hasn't got creatures
up there as well, has he?
384
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,960
- I couldn't see him. - Oh, well, he can
join the others under the floorboards.
385
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,590
You're so generous, Theo.
How can I thank you?
386
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,340
The pleasure, as a fellow
enthusiast, is all mine.
387
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,600
The ancients embalmed their loved ones.
388
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,270
We could have pickled
your bat in formaldehyde.
389
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,120
I think that might scare my family.
390
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,070
Look, Mum, my Centre
For Scientific Learning.
391
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,630
You don't need to nag me
about education any more.
392
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,830
Excellent. And eight times seven?
393
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,190
Erm...
394
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:34,630
Is it in the 50s?
395
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,950
Spot on, it's in the 50s.
396
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:41,350
I hope you're feeling relaxed
about Leslie's court case.
397
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:42,910
Oh, hardly.
398
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,950
It's a shame Leslie isn't one of us.
399
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,990
My delight in molluscs saw me
through a bumpy adolescence.
400
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,910
I know, I keep wondering how I could
have steered Leslie differently.
401
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,350
Who knows? The experience may do him good.
402
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,880
They say a broken leg grows back
stronger than an unbroken one.
403
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,630
You are wearing it on a boat?
404
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,760
It's a yacht. Ooh.
405
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:12,900
Stop staring at it.
406
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,790
Oh, no.
407
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:32,180
Really?
408
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,040
That's a yacht?
409
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,580
Oh, I can't let the old fool down.
410
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:50,710
So now you're not speaking.
What's the matter?
411
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,390
I'm... I'm very drunk.
412
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:54,950
What?
413
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,390
Why?
414
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,430
Why did you get drunk?
415
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:02,310
The sea... It's a bloody death-trap!
416
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,870
I've seen too much.
417
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,910
Since I retired...
418
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:08,900
it... it haunts me.
419
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,150
Take me back to shore.
420
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,870
- Right now!
- No.
421
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,630
I know some sea shanties --
422
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,680
You dare sing one sea shanty and I'll...
423
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,790
You... give me that.
424
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,190
Give me that tiller right now!
425
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,510
Oh, do you know how to sail?
426
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,910
No. No, I can't sail!
427
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,470
But I'm a helluva lot more competent
than you are at this moment!
428
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:34,750
Ah.
429
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,800
Ohh!
430
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,150
- Good.
- Aah!
431
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:41,990
Help!
432
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,590
- I can't swim!
- You silly, silly man!
433
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,240
Aah!
434
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,790
You'll like this one.
435
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,750
♪ O Blodwyn was a Welsh girl,
she came from Cardiff city...
436
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,790
This was my chance to feel attractive.
437
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,150
And not just like a bad mother!
438
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:03,070
- ♪ .. though she only had one titty! ♪
- Thanks for nothing!
439
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,670
Don't go! We're having such a nice day.
440
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,830
This is terrible. Don't
let Louisa see you here.
441
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,620
No. I have to offer my sympathies.
442
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,520
If you say anything nice, I'll cry.
443
00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:00,120
So, is nobody going to tell me
how Mother's yacht trip went?
444
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,270
The good news is that, if you're put
in jail, you'll be with my friend Kosti.
445
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,270
He's not going to jail. It's a
ridiculous trumped-up charge.
446
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,470
This is Corfu. Anything's possible.
447
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,120
Isn't that why we like it here?
448
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:42,990
This innocent young Englishman
should not be standing here today.
449
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:48,190
Not so innocent. Before, he was in
my police cell after a drunken brawl!
450
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:52,520
- Well, who among us has not been
arrested for drunken brawling? - Exactly.
451
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,630
He always carries a gun with him!
452
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,680
Mr Durrell, is it true you carry guns?
453
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,190
Yes.
454
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,590
Why?
455
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,390
Because the world is a
dangerous place, Judge.
456
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,560
Do you not make it more dangerous?
457
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,360
In English, please. The defendant --
458
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,270
Leslie isn't gifted or nuanced,
459
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,590
but he has got a kind
of visceral doggedness.
460
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,750
Paradoxically, he loathes dogs.
461
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,870
So he wouldn't go killing
turkeys with Gerry's dog.
462
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:52,080
No. Leslie is far more
likely to shoot the turkeys...
463
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,900
.. on his own.
464
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,470
If my client killed your turkeys,
as you say, where are the carcasses?
465
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:12,150
He disposed of them.
466
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,750
You are wasting the time of the
court if you have no evidence.
467
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,270
Excellent point.
468
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,860
Thank you.
469
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,880
Leslie was living with Sotos and Fotis.
470
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,800
Leslie was the one who shot off the lock.
471
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,710
Order! Sit down.
472
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,630
He's an armed robber.
473
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,660
These are serious allegations.
474
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,960
We will come back tomorrow.
475
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:02,320
It wasn't an armed robbery.
476
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:08,070
Except, I suppose, strictly speaking,
I was armed and we did rob somewhere.
477
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,790
Oh, Leslie!
478
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,350
We only stole booze,
we didn't shoot anybody.
479
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:16,070
Theo says the law here is that you
will go to jail if found guilty.
480
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:19,190
Sotos and Fotis made me. I
couldn't look like a coward.
481
00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:23,150
Lots of people have gone to jail for
their beliefs -- Oscar Wilde, Voltaire,
482
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,230
Crazy Horse, the Sioux Indian chief.
483
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,670
I don't believe in stealing
cheap Greek whisky.
484
00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:29,230
Stop it!
485
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,270
Why did I bring us here?
486
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,420
It could have happened to Leslie anywhere.
487
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,160
Where are you going?
488
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,060
It's about Leslie.
489
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,590
I've no right to ask
490
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:54,630
and... erm...
491
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,870
.. well, you could argue that
my son is no better than you,
492
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,310
but he is barely an adult.
493
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,630
And if you could say that he
wasn't involved in the robbery,
494
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:07,350
if you could do the noble thing
and be lenient with him, then...
495
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,190
well, then...
496
00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:12,740
then maybe the judge would
be lenient with you.
497
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:16,600
Maybe.
498
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,660
You're probably not allowed tins, are you?
499
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,680
- Kalimera.
- Kalimera.
500
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,790
I am dismissing this case.
501
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:36,430
The defendant Leslie Durrell
is clearly blameless.
502
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:41,350
The plaintiff shall give to the defendant
six of his best turkeys in compensation.
503
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,320
Everyone is dismissed.
504
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:51,080
Except the Durrell family
and legal representatives.
505
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,670
You are implicated in
a more serious crime,
506
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:04,710
the armed robbery of the storehouse.
507
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,750
- Let me say this --
- No.
508
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,790
However, the co-accused, Sotos and Fotis,
509
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,750
now claim that they acted alone.
510
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,070
For whatever reason.
511
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,120
So there is no case to answer.
512
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:23,550
But he is at the top of a slippery slope.
513
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,880
Don't let him fall.
514
00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:40,470
You see? Worry, it's overrated!
515
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,630
No. Apparently, worry and
parenthood are inseparable.
516
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,280
I am going to sleep for a week!
517
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:53,080
Right. Everybody back
to the house for supper.
518
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,840
Nothing wrong with English cooking.
519
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,670
Spiro, thank you.
520
00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:08,430
For your legal expertise.
521
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,270
I think we know it was you
who made the difference.
522
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,590
I don't know what you mean.
523
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,120
You sold your wedding ring
to bribe those two thugs.
524
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,550
Well, I offered shortbread.
525
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,720
But it seems the modern
criminal expects more.
526
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,120
Don't ask.
527
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,240
Leslie.
528
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,830
Mother! My first proper wages.
529
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,270
I'm going to invest in a feather boa.
530
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,060
Well, everybody has to contribute.
531
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,310
So...
532
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,830
invest in half a feather boa.
533
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:24,550
That is outrageous.
534
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,910
How is the reclusive Countess, Margo?
535
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:31,400
I may be missing something, but I
find her rather sweet and jolly.
536
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:35,790
- Where are you going?
- I'm not telling you.
537
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,830
But not the lavatory, in
case you get any ideas.
538
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,680
Ha ha ha.
539
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,280
Oh.
540
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,030
There's something I want to say.
541
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,750
Gerry, I know I complain
about your creatures,
542
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:02,230
but, well, you're serious about
this animal business, aren't you?
543
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:03,960
Yes, I am.
544
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:13,280
- Didn't we bury that? - Yes, but I changed
my mind and dug it up and stuffed it.
545
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,830
- Oh.
- First, you remove the skin,
546
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:19,680
then you rub non-iodised salt on it,
then you take the head and you...
547
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,030
I want you to have my dress.
548
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:26,670
Oh, Margo.
549
00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:28,310
I can't.
550
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,360
It's yours.
551
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,080
Is it bat?
552
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,630
Theo, would you like to say grace?
553
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,880
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
554
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:05,640
I added a beard.
555
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,760
Lady Marchmont glimpsed
Lord Tim in the distance.
556
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,340
Was that the flicker of
interest from him or...
557
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,310
Do I have to read this?
558
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:29,360
You do, if you want to borrow any books.
559
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:35,270
She felt hot in places she'd
never felt hot before --
560
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,460
Don't make anything up.
561
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,950
.. seeking ventilation, she
went onto her beloved veranda
562
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:45,990
and played with her pooch Leonard,
563
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:49,480
who had always provided a
distraction in times of crisis.
564
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,400
So...
565
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,030
Leslie, what's that?
566
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,200
- Hm? - Darling, behind
your back. - A stick.
567
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,630
Just a bit of night shooting, that's all.
568
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,480
What will it take for you to learn?
569
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:31,840
No.
570
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,400
What a week.
571
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,390
I'm sorry about my little wobble.
572
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,240
No, I've checked. You don't wobble.
573
00:45:25,240 --> 00:45:27,240
That's better.
574
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,950
However long you stare at
it, they're still coming.
575
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,110
It might be nice to have some visitors.
576
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:45,870
Please be nice to us.
577
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,470
This is no place to bring up a family.
578
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,520
I'm not God, but "let there be light"'!
579
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:55,600
- Aah! - What is that noise?
- Larry. Stubbing his toe.
580
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,070
Slow down!
581
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:01,830
- I will always respect your honour.
- Let's not worry too much about that.
42584
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