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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:07,475 - Previously on "The Magicians"... 2 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,244 - We found a key, too. 3 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,345 - The ghost said it has the power 4 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,413 to reveal things that are hidden. 5 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:13,614 I'm a hidden thing. 6 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,083 - I'm Hyman. 7 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,417 When I first got stuck 8 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,319 in the Astral Plane, 9 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,688 I spent months trying to push things. 10 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,090 I never got anywhere. 11 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,592 Until I tried being the thing. 12 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,427 Holy zerts! You did it! 13 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,162 - The farmers are hesitant 14 00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,231 because you're asking them to throw out food 15 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:33,167 and replace it with, uh-- - Inedible mushrooms. 16 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,703 I got it. I just need it done. 17 00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:38,639 On Earth we tend to meet the people we're gonna marry first. 18 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:42,576 - Surely you've heard of the Tribe of The Floating Mountain. 19 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,314 - It is my duty and honor 20 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,349 to take the place of my late brother. 21 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,584 - I don't know. 22 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,286 - I'd do anything to get it back. 23 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,488 - If I could give it to you, I would. 24 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,200 - Whoo. Sorry. 25 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,601 Okay. 26 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,607 - Last I checked, we're looking for a spell, 27 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,309 not starting an eBay store. 28 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:18,446 - There's this old hedge story I once heard 29 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,548 about some sort of electrical transfer 30 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:24,152 Marina used to steal magic from some poor faun. 31 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,587 People still talk about it. 32 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,256 Just look. 33 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,361 - So, you want us to reverse engineer 34 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,596 a hedge witch urban legend using kids' toys? 35 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,266 - I mean, aluminum wiring's been scant since the '90s, 36 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,234 so unless you have a better idea. 37 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,358 Do you feel anything? 38 00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:05,426 - No. 39 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,728 Go again? 40 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,402 - * Oh, as long as I know 41 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,170 ♪ How to love, I know I'll stay alive ♪ 42 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,272 - Why did that just turn on by itself? 43 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,473 - Oh, my God. 44 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:20,708 - * I've got all my love to give * 45 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,543 ♪ And I'll survive 46 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:25,279 Give me your hand. 47 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,181 - Wait. Stop. 48 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:28,616 Do not do this. 49 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,518 - Did you just use that fish as a doorbell? 50 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,253 - I've been trying to warn you guys for, like, an hour. 51 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,621 "Being the fish button" is the first thing 52 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,389 in this entire room that's worked. 53 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,524 - What are you trying to warn us about? 54 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:37,625 - This spell. 55 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,260 I've seen it in person. 56 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,663 - Yeah. 57 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,698 Couple months back on a book-stealing job, 58 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:47,201 I saw a group of magically-starved idiots 59 00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:49,703 do the transfer, and by the end of it, 60 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,705 everyone was on fire. 61 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,575 Trust me. Fogg was right. 62 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,577 It's a bad idea. 63 00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,748 - Wait a minute. Did you just say Fogg was right? 64 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,750 - Aw, f-- - Fuck me. 65 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,552 You have magic. 66 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,819 And you're just now telling me? 67 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,456 - Don't take this the wrong way, 68 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,724 but you've been a little drunk. 69 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,227 And unreliable. - Yes. 70 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:17,531 I'm drunk, but I am entirely...reliable. 71 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,803 - Um, maybe we should get back to Marina's spell. 72 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,273 - It wasn't Marina's spell. It's mine. 73 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,342 She stole it from my private collection. 74 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:30,644 And if any of you had attended my annual colloquia 75 00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:33,247 on prohibited magic, you would know 76 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:35,649 that its proper name is the Voltaic Transfer. 77 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,718 It is incredibly delicate. 78 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,653 - We--we know that, but-- 79 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,389 But you want to rid yourself 80 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,791 of the one thing we all so desperately want? 81 00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,694 - If you understood what-- - You understand. 82 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,796 I'm a Magician with no magic. 83 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,499 A dean without a school. 84 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,901 Just a blind, unemployed 85 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,770 black man in America. 86 00:03:56,804 --> 00:04:02,343 Which, shockingly, was actually being kept 38% more tolerant 87 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,911 through a series of enchantments 88 00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:06,480 which have now died. 89 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,616 In case you hadn't noticed or perhaps maybe you weren't 90 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,551 in a position to need to. - Okay, you're really drunk. 91 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,652 So what? 92 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,789 What does it matter? 93 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,758 Alice, of all people, you should know better 94 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,493 than to attempt this. 95 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,295 You want to blow yourselves up? Is that it? 96 00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:28,302 - Um. Just give me one second. 97 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,706 Okay. 98 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:00,768 Uh, they'll hold for a day or two, 99 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,670 but then Alice can recharge them. 100 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:06,574 After we finish the transfer. 101 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:09,710 I know. Everything is fucked. 102 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:12,346 I'm sorry. - It's not your fault. 103 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,881 Julia. 104 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,584 - Yeah, well, it's not not my fault, either so. 105 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:19,620 - What you two utter idiots need, 106 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,455 if you don't want to die, 107 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,457 is the flesh of a magical creature 108 00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,594 to act as a sort of semiconductor. 109 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:30,398 A potent energy-drainer. An incubus. 110 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,470 - If this is about the whole 111 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:37,771 marriage not being consummated yet, 112 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,573 don't worry, it'll happen. 113 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:42,410 - Oh, no, no, no. You misunderstand me, my dear. 114 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,778 You see, I've heard a rumor about your advisor, 115 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,581 the Pickwick? Sighted in a certain corridor. 116 00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,383 Taking scrapings from the wall. 117 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,951 - He's just a compulsive redecorator. 118 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,754 - You might be interested to know that we both have been 119 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,490 plotting against our mutual friend. 120 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:57,825 - Hmm. 121 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,794 No idea what you're talking about. 122 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,397 Margo. 123 00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,765 You can trust me. 124 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,734 The misguided actions of my son 125 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:10,538 have soured both sides of our arrangement. 126 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:14,575 I've acquired a weapon forged in the foundries of Stonehaven. 127 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,044 When the time is right, 128 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,680 we could use it to kill the Fairy Queen. 129 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:27,555 - Hi. - Oh, hell no. 130 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,022 Move. 131 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,659 - Hang your sheets out the window afterwards, dear. 132 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,694 - Guards! Guards! 133 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,796 Don't even think about closing it. No! 134 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,899 Guards! 135 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:41,969 Let me out! 136 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:53,647 ♪ 137 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,683 - I don't give a shit if you have to find someone 138 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,050 to sell those shares short. 139 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,819 I need them today. 140 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,589 So the Incubus is a hedge fund manager? 141 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,956 - Mm-hmm. - Plus 5%. 142 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,958 And not one more cent, you piece of monkey shit. 143 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:06,994 - Just remember what Fogg said. 144 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,563 Be respectful, no matter what. 145 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:10,931 - You got two minutes. 146 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,534 - Henry Fogg said that you might be able 147 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:14,968 to help us power our spell. 148 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:18,872 Uh, we just--we need to use your thing. 149 00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:21,575 - Uh, your--your thing. 150 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,977 Your--your business. 151 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,779 - Uh. 152 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:29,550 Your little friend. Uh, I mean--your big friend. 153 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,619 Well, I'm--I'm sure your friend 154 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,721 is perfectly proportioned to your body. 155 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:37,758 I was just saying... - Your penis. 156 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,595 Yep, we need to use your penis to power our spell. 157 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,497 - And we know that you need it too. 158 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,633 So that's why we'll build the spell around it. 159 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:46,967 It'll be completely painless 160 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,702 and should only take a couple minutes. 161 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,684 I can't believe that actually worked! 162 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:08,589 - I planted this joke on Fogg 25 years ago. 163 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,824 I had him totally convinced that I had a magic Johnson. 164 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,893 - Wait, so you-- you don't have a magic-- 165 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,161 - Of course not. 166 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,763 That's ridiculous. - No, it's not. 167 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,631 I mean you're an incubus. 168 00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,933 Isn't sex, like, your thing? 169 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,969 - Gods no. 170 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,771 I don't even like sex. 171 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:27,808 Stress is a much better way to drain people's energy. 172 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,009 May I? 173 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:38,085 Oh, and you. 174 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,721 You got a lot of it, I can tell. 175 00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:46,660 Delish. 176 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:49,630 You give me a few more hits of this, 177 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:50,898 and I'll give you something 178 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,100 that'll actually power your spell. 179 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,810 - Yeah. 180 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,645 Yeah, I grow a new one every spring. 181 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,082 - Welcome back. 182 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,919 I see you've misplaced your wife and child. 183 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:15,222 - You'd be shocked how easy it is to misplace people 184 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:18,692 when your mind's on tax collection and annexation 185 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,829 and unforeseen seafaring...confusion. 186 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,899 I'll immediately sail back out there and find them, 187 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,701 of course-- - No, you won't. 188 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:30,170 I have a bigger problem I need you to solve. 189 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:34,041 The Stone Queen has locked Margo and Fomar in the dungeon. 190 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,176 Why? 191 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:40,047 - She thinks it will get the marriage consummated, 192 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,883 but ultimately I need the union officialized 193 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,718 just as much as the Floaters do. 194 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:46,620 - Listen, pro tip. 195 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,722 Let Margo out of there immediately. 196 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,858 You know her. Force isn't going to work. 197 00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:54,061 - True. Force may not work. 198 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,064 But the clever coercion on the part of a trusted friend. 199 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,732 - I am not going to coerce Margo 200 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,701 into having sex with a 15-year-old. 201 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,102 Have you never heard of statutory rape? 202 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:05,238 - Fomar isn't a statue. - That is not what-- 203 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,874 Forget it. 204 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,710 - You will solve this problem for me. 205 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:18,151 - I've been searching for a new keepsake. 206 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,087 Several bits will do. 207 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,890 - Fine, but I have a feeling Queen Margo 208 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:25,225 is going to be a little bit difficult. 209 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,261 - I know! 210 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,163 You hate me for killing Micah. 211 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:32,065 Jesus Christ. 212 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,801 - It's just in our culture, 213 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,970 younger sons can't marry or inherit property. 214 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,906 Most of us wind up 215 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,842 serving in the Crag Guard or dying in battle. 216 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,911 - Is this supposed to make me feel bad for you? 217 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,879 - No. 218 00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:47,114 So, do you want to take a break? 219 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,016 Let me touch your maiden peaks? 220 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,918 - Do you want me to cut your hands off and have them made 221 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,285 into a decorative, whimsical planter? 222 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,022 - How are we supposed to become one flesh 223 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,024 if you won't let me touch you? 224 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,926 - We're not. - But you're my wife. 225 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,694 - Oh, please. 226 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,195 You don't need a wife. 227 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:04,798 You need a pile of socks and a sex-ed class. 228 00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:08,035 Who 229 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,803 - It's something they make you do on Earth. 230 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,038 It makes you never wanna. 231 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,908 How about I show you? 232 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,083 Vaginas. 233 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,953 The leading cause of death in men. 234 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:28,021 They spread disease. 235 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,157 They explode during childbirth. 236 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:35,195 But worst of all, they bleed. Every month. 237 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:38,098 In fact, mine's doing it right now. 238 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:41,001 - Well, that's okay. I like blood. 239 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,278 Sorry I'm late. 240 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,113 You okay? 241 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,115 Enjoying being a palace guard in your own palace? 242 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,184 - This uniform is, like, really sweaty. 243 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,252 - Yeah, I know, but it beats 244 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,188 having the Fairy Queen's hand up your ass. 245 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,891 Last thing we need is another puppet king. 246 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:06,126 Okay, key quest. Hit me. 247 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,062 - Uh, okay, so I'm pretty sure that 248 00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:10,864 the fourth key is somewhere 249 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,866 in this stretch of ocean called The Abyss. 250 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,135 Um, it's an uncharted region of Fillory 251 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:18,872 where it's, like, sort of permanently night. 252 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:22,409 Um, but, you know, we get to go 253 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:26,947 on a quest on a magical boat, so it doesn't totally suck. 254 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:30,017 - Uh, yeah. I wish I could. 255 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,953 Believe me, but duty calls a dozen different ways. 256 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,255 And I can't leave Margo. - Right, of course. 257 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,290 - Sorry. - No. 258 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,927 I was looking forward to going on a boating quest with you. 259 00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:45,866 Uh, think about it. You can take Benedict. 260 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:48,268 Go be life-partners with someone else for a little bit. 261 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:51,805 But you'll be able to do the... thing on the prow of a ship 262 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,240 you've been waiting your whole life to do. 263 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,309 - You know, the thing. 264 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:09,022 ♪ 265 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,060 - Whoo! 266 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,935 Sorry. Uh, sorry. 267 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,080 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 268 00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:51,498 Being on a mission is a hell of an antidepressant. 269 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,066 You notice that, Benedict? 270 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,902 - Well, now that you mention it. 271 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,338 - Whoa. 272 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,140 - We're entering The Abyss, Sire. 273 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,146 It'll be darkness from here on. 274 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,184 - Thank you. 275 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,932 So how long until we can keep going? 276 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,267 - As soon as we find safe passage, your Majesty. 277 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,138 Help! 278 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:36,143 Is someone out there? Help! 279 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,183 - God, I think there's someone out there on a raft. 280 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,026 - Wow, wow, wow. 281 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,195 You just saved the shit out of me. 282 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,330 Poppy Kline. 283 00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:00,100 Draconologist, postgraduate fellow, and field researcher 284 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,135 at your service. 285 00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:05,372 - Holy shit. You're from Brakebills? 286 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,314 - So, Brakebills students are kings and queens now? 287 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:16,683 - Yeah. - Shit. 288 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:19,086 I've stuck in The Abyss way too long. 289 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:20,287 - How did you end up out here anyway? 290 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,588 - Oh, I came with some other students. 291 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,591 - Oh. Hey, sorry. I can, um--uh. 292 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,260 - Spring Break, Class of 2016? 293 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,495 Didn't turn out so well for us, 294 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,563 but that is a whole nother story. 295 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,598 - Wait, sorry. 296 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,333 Do you know, um-- 297 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,734 If the next two words out of your mouth are "Josh" 298 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,170 and "Hoberman," we just became best friends. 299 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:39,239 No way. He's still alive? 300 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,408 - I mean, as far as I know. 301 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,176 - Oh, that's amazing. 302 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,744 - So how does a Brakebills student 303 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,414 wind up alone on a raft? 304 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,350 - Get a girl a drink. I'll tell you the whole story. 305 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:51,551 All right. 306 00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:04,131 ♪ 307 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,234 Your Majesty. 308 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,402 An urgent message from Prince Ess of Loria. 309 00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:12,439 - High Queen Margo let him go 310 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,740 as he was innocent of all charges. 311 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:17,377 - Oh, right. Yeah. 312 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,611 Sorry about that. 313 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:28,288 I figured out the problem. Humans don't mate in captivity. 314 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,191 What Margo and Fomar need is a honeymoon. 315 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,393 An hour's ride North, there is a forest 316 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,495 with naturally-occurring aphrodisiacs 317 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,331 that's guaranteed to get that marriage consummated. 318 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:40,467 Fine. 319 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,269 But if you fail-- - I know, I know. 320 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,537 New keepsakes. Fingers, ears. 321 00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:46,573 - Try your spleen. 322 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,541 - Okay. - Go. 323 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,612 - Fieldwork was my thing at Brakebills, and well, dragons. 324 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,281 Love them. 325 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,316 - Wait, so what happened to your ship? 326 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,684 - Oh, wrecked. 327 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,419 Off the coast of the Truthwaters. 328 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:02,289 I spent two years on that little Picket. 329 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:05,792 And, bam. Over in an instant. 330 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,261 That was three weeks ago. 331 00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:11,798 - You survived for three weeks on a raft by yourself? 332 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:14,701 - Yeah, it was rough. 333 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,369 Especially without magic. 334 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:17,604 Do you know anything about why the hell 335 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:20,273 it just went out? - I mean, um... 336 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,442 - I just hope someone's fixing it. 337 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:25,612 - That someone is, um, sort of me. 338 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:30,717 Um, I'm on a--a quest, right, for these golden keys. 339 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,385 Right, so there's seven of them. 340 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:35,522 - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Golden keys? 341 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,789 Like... 342 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,662 - Holy shit. How did you-- 343 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,431 Stole it. 344 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,599 Mid-voyage we wound up on this random island, 345 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:49,269 just, like, covered in treasure. 346 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,470 A dragon breeding ground which is like... 347 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,339 ♪ Ah Spontaneous orgasm. 348 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,574 I mean, places like this are so rare. 349 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,343 There are only two species of dragon 350 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:57,577 that even build treasure-nests. 351 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,746 Anyway, this was in one of them 352 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,614 with a bunch of cool stuff. 353 00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:04,384 But the thing that got me was 354 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,852 I could feel something coming off it. 355 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,355 - Yeah. - Even now. 356 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:11,258 It's somehow not dead, right? 357 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,626 And, you know, the dragons were all horny and distracted, 358 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,628 so I just took it. 359 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,532 - I'm a person of questionable ethics. 360 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:22,335 Here. 361 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,639 It's yours, from one quester to another. 362 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,643 - Wow. Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 363 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:32,712 I mean, each one sort of 364 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,347 has a unique thing. 365 00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,383 - I don't know. 366 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:39,552 Maybe you can figure it out. - Yeah. 367 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:42,589 Uh, here's to that. 368 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,432 You wanna? Yeah. - Oh. 369 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,305 - Okay. Well, here goes nothing. 370 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,814 - Ugh, man, one of your wires is coming loose. 371 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,716 You're gonna kill yourselves! 372 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:13,420 Oh, my God. I can't-- - Golly Moses. 373 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,388 You're right. They're gonna kill themselves. 374 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:17,657 - Don't you have some shower to go haunt? 375 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,759 - Oh, no one's showering right now. 376 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,828 Except Fogg, and he's asleep. 377 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,963 - Jesus, that man needs help. Is he all right? 378 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,699 - Ah, just a bit zozzled, I think. 379 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:29,836 He was quite naked. 380 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:32,739 Remarkably... well-preserved. 381 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,743 Guess it's possible to age gracefully. 382 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:37,977 - Oh, my God. 383 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,547 Fuck, man. I can't watch this. 384 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,982 This is what I love about you, Penny. 385 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,884 You act like you don't care, 386 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:47,720 but really, you care most in this whole story. 387 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,789 - Yeah, then--then why is everyone acting 388 00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,758 like I'm not a part of it anymore? 389 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:56,396 - Maybe it's time to blouse this popsicle stand. 390 00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,766 Go--go find a story to watch 391 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,634 that doesn't make you so depressed. 392 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:04,704 - Oh, I think they did it. 393 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,513 - I'm having a good time. 394 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,647 Mm. 395 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,852 You just wait a second, I'm gonna close-- 396 00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:46,979 - Rise and shine, princess. 397 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,283 Who? 398 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:52,319 - The real question, dipshit, is how you managed 399 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,321 to black out after, what, five drinks? 400 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,955 Why do you always have to embarrass yourself? 401 00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,857 - I don't... 402 00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,493 Okay. Uh... 403 00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:04,030 Um... 404 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:05,865 - Seriously. 405 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:08,568 You hold your liquor like a kindergartner. 406 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:14,907 - Sorry, um, can you--are you 407 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,778 - Nobody cares, dude. 408 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,348 They all have actual jobs, unlike you. 409 00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,015 - Right, okay. 410 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,784 No problem. 411 00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,559 - Okay, I can explain. 412 00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:34,561 - Just calm down. 413 00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:36,863 It's all right. - There's another me. 414 00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,031 And he's mean, and no one else can see him. 415 00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:40,867 Nothing about this is all right. 416 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,002 - Okay, listen. Here's the deal. 417 00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,372 The key does have a power. - No shit. 418 00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:46,906 - It takes the darkest parts of you 419 00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:50,042 and makes a...kind of-- well, you met it. 420 00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:53,480 It's kind of like a depression monster? 421 00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:57,350 Looks like you, talks like you. 422 00:21:57,384 --> 00:22:00,420 But don't worry, it can't actually hurt you. 423 00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:02,455 Unless... 424 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:03,890 - Unless it gets in your head 425 00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,057 and convinces you to hurt yourself. 426 00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:06,926 - Well-- - But you'll be fine. 427 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,928 It only affects the last person who touched the key. 428 00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:10,963 So just pass it along to someone else. 429 00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:14,066 That's what we did. 430 00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,468 - My former shipmates. 431 00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:16,869 After I stole the key, 432 00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:18,405 we passed it from person to person 433 00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:21,140 until we, you know, ran out of options. 434 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,543 - What does that mean, you ran out of options? 435 00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:28,415 I happened to be holding the key when we sank 436 00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,583 'cause the rest of 'em just couldn't handle it. 437 00:22:30,617 --> 00:22:32,385 You have to be, like, a badass about it, 438 00:22:32,419 --> 00:22:34,120 and what can I say? 439 00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:35,988 They were weak. - Okay, I'm sorry. 440 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:39,091 Exactly how many of them survived the key before you? 441 00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:43,596 - This key made half of your shipmates 442 00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:45,965 kill themselves, and you gave it to me? 443 00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,900 But don't worry. 444 00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:49,068 They were all pretty 445 00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:50,970 psychologically damaged already. 446 00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:53,039 You'll be fine. You're so happy and positive. 447 00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:56,108 - Mmmm, no. No, no. 448 00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:58,445 I'm not. This is like... 449 00:22:58,478 --> 00:22:59,879 It's like we're on a boat, okay? 450 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,548 This is not how I usually am. 451 00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:03,416 - You're usually a wet blanket, self-pitying, 452 00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:04,584 party pooping dickwad. 453 00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:06,586 - Shut up! 454 00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,888 - You better pass that along fast. 455 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:11,458 No! Not if there is a 50% 456 00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:12,959 chance of it killing the next person. 457 00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:17,464 Okay. 458 00:23:17,497 --> 00:23:19,999 Right, yep. I'll just hold on to it. 459 00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:22,068 Until we get back to Whitespire. 460 00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:24,136 I can do that. - Your choice. 461 00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:25,738 I mean, we're stuck in The Abyss 462 00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:26,973 till we found our way out. 463 00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:27,974 It could be days. 464 00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:29,742 It could be weeks. 465 00:23:29,776 --> 00:23:31,911 Oh, but hey. Don't stress. 466 00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:34,547 You might be fine. - You won't be. 467 00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:39,486 I have come up against you before, asshole. 468 00:23:39,519 --> 00:23:41,754 Maybe a little more subtly, but you and I both know 469 00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:43,456 that I've got a black belt. 470 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:44,924 So come at me. 471 00:23:49,496 --> 00:23:50,930 - The problem is your hair. 472 00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,532 I know you're just trying to hide your face, 473 00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:54,634 but it really only makes it worse. 474 00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:56,168 Seriously, have you ever noticed 475 00:23:56,202 --> 00:23:57,770 that your face sort of looks like a foot? 476 00:23:57,804 --> 00:23:59,506 If feet had frown lines? 477 00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:01,541 I mean, you're definitely aging prematurely, 478 00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:04,511 which is a symptom of early-onset Alzheimer's. 479 00:24:04,544 --> 00:24:07,079 Which, funny, both your grandparents had. 480 00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:10,049 And you will definitely get it so then you'll be 481 00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:11,684 a senile frowny foot-face. 482 00:24:11,718 --> 00:24:14,086 - Jesus. Fuck. 483 00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:19,158 - This is pointless. You can't run me off. 484 00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:22,529 You can't eat me off. 485 00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:25,665 You can't drink me off. 486 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:29,602 You can't jerk me off. 487 00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:31,003 God, you're so vulgar. 488 00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:33,706 We had a thing going, and you--you made it 489 00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:35,608 unnecessarily gross. 490 00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:39,211 You sick of the shallow, petty stuff? 491 00:24:39,245 --> 00:24:41,681 I get it. 492 00:24:41,714 --> 00:24:43,616 The thing is, I start on the outside, 493 00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:45,785 and I work my way into the core. 494 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:49,522 The part of you that kept magic from Julia 495 00:24:49,556 --> 00:24:50,790 when you could have helped her, 496 00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:54,126 that is what set her on that path. 497 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:58,565 You got your best friend sexually assaulted. 498 00:24:58,598 --> 00:25:00,266 And let's talk about what happened to Alice. 499 00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:02,101 You ruined her. 500 00:25:02,134 --> 00:25:04,737 And she is never going to be the girl that she was. 501 00:25:04,771 --> 00:25:07,273 You killed her, and she is never coming back. 502 00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:11,310 How many people have to pay the price for your heroics? 503 00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:13,112 - Just stop! 504 00:25:13,145 --> 00:25:15,548 - You are willing to destroy everyone around you 505 00:25:15,582 --> 00:25:18,084 to find something that makes you feel okay. 506 00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:20,119 But you are never gonna feel okay. 507 00:25:20,152 --> 00:25:22,822 - No, stop. You're trying to get in my head. 508 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:24,290 - Quentin. 509 00:25:26,158 --> 00:25:27,760 I am your head. 510 00:25:27,794 --> 00:25:30,763 You know I'm right because I am you. 511 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:40,339 - To Mr. and Mrs... - Fomar. 512 00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:42,742 - Fomar. 513 00:25:42,775 --> 00:25:44,276 Bottoms up. 514 00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:49,716 - Uh, in my culture, the woman always drinks first. 515 00:25:49,749 --> 00:25:51,150 - Drink the wine, Margo. 516 00:25:51,183 --> 00:25:52,852 - I don't wanna drink the wine. 517 00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:55,187 What I wanted was for you to handle this, Eliot. 518 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:57,056 - You'll feel better if you just 519 00:25:57,089 --> 00:26:00,059 drink the wine, Margo. 520 00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:14,173 So, um... 521 00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:16,676 Do we have sex in the carriage? 522 00:26:16,709 --> 00:26:19,311 Or do we have sex outside? 523 00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:23,616 Or do-- - I'm not having sex with you. 524 00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:27,086 You psychotic fetus. 525 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:28,655 Ever. 526 00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:38,898 Either I just killed him with my rage 527 00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:40,332 or you drugged his wine. 528 00:26:40,366 --> 00:26:42,201 - And to think... 529 00:26:42,234 --> 00:26:44,603 You doubted me. - To think. 530 00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:50,142 I just spent three days locked in a dungeon with him. 531 00:26:50,176 --> 00:26:52,278 - Okay. Yes, and that sucks. 532 00:26:52,311 --> 00:26:54,814 But we have a problem, possibly much bigger 533 00:26:54,847 --> 00:26:56,749 than sleeping beauty over here. 534 00:26:56,783 --> 00:26:58,885 The fairies are up to something in the Northern Orchards. 535 00:26:58,918 --> 00:27:00,853 They evacuated the villagers weeks ago 536 00:27:00,887 --> 00:27:03,122 and haven't let another human in since. 537 00:27:03,155 --> 00:27:06,358 Except Ess came through on his way from Loria, 538 00:27:06,392 --> 00:27:08,427 and he saw some crazy shit. 539 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:10,963 Rivers running red, three-eyed fanged toads, 540 00:27:10,997 --> 00:27:13,933 mutant plant life, Chernobyl-level shit. 541 00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:16,936 I think the fairies might be poisoning the ecosystem. 542 00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:20,439 - Great, well, now I can't be mad at you. 543 00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:22,141 Thanks. 544 00:27:22,174 --> 00:27:24,143 - I know, I wanted to fight, too, 545 00:27:24,176 --> 00:27:26,245 so that we could make up and on the other side of it, 546 00:27:26,278 --> 00:27:28,848 we could just-- 547 00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:30,850 Who are we now, El? 548 00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:32,251 We used to be glamorous, 549 00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:34,954 amazing mega-bitches. 550 00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,455 And now? 551 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:40,893 - We have depth and character. 552 00:27:40,927 --> 00:27:43,930 Let's decide-- we'll find us again 553 00:27:43,963 --> 00:27:46,265 once we're done saving Fillory. 554 00:27:46,298 --> 00:27:47,700 Okay? 555 00:27:49,902 --> 00:27:51,337 Duty calls. 556 00:27:51,370 --> 00:27:53,305 Let's go see about these orchards. 557 00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:01,680 Which are... 558 00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:14,460 - Nothing is going to save you. 559 00:28:15,828 --> 00:28:17,029 Not Brakebills. 560 00:28:17,063 --> 00:28:20,032 Not Fillory. Not a quest. 561 00:28:20,066 --> 00:28:22,869 Just do it. 562 00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:24,871 Kill yourself. 563 00:28:24,904 --> 00:28:27,439 Make it stop. 564 00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:29,809 You know the way out. 565 00:28:40,386 --> 00:28:42,021 - King Quentin, no! 566 00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:44,156 - Oh, no, I wasn't. I was just-- 567 00:28:44,190 --> 00:28:45,925 I thought I saw something. - Your Majesty, 568 00:28:45,958 --> 00:28:48,394 if I may, I understand what you're contemplating. 569 00:28:48,427 --> 00:28:50,930 I thought about it too. 570 00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:54,333 Though I've never spoken about it, of course. 571 00:28:56,202 --> 00:29:00,206 - Well, you know what parents teach you about emotions. 572 00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:05,211 That you should bottle them up and never talk about them 573 00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:09,048 and turn them into, um, maps, for example. 574 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:11,217 - Jesus, Benedict. 575 00:29:11,250 --> 00:29:13,085 Okay, we should talk about this. 576 00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:15,087 - If it please you, Sire, but first, 577 00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:17,189 why don't we step away from the edge of the boat? 578 00:29:20,126 --> 00:29:23,863 - Yeah. I don't really trust myself right now. 579 00:29:23,896 --> 00:29:28,334 - You know, in old days, when sailors would go mad, 580 00:29:28,367 --> 00:29:30,002 the crew would tie them to the mast. 581 00:29:30,036 --> 00:29:32,004 Isn't that funny? 582 00:29:32,038 --> 00:29:33,472 - Oh, my God. Tie me to the mast. 583 00:29:37,143 --> 00:29:40,112 No--no, Your Majesty. - No, do it. 584 00:29:40,146 --> 00:29:42,882 Okay, swear to me, no matter what I say, 585 00:29:42,915 --> 00:29:46,953 that you will not untie me until we get to Whitespire. 586 00:29:46,986 --> 00:29:50,256 - Very well. I won't. 587 00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:52,024 - Thank you. 588 00:30:19,451 --> 00:30:21,387 - It worked. 589 00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:26,025 - Thank you. 590 00:31:15,507 --> 00:31:19,211 - Oh. I see the transfer worked. 591 00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:22,348 - It's still small, I can feel that, but I'm gonna grow it. 592 00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:24,583 - I hope you'll be careful. 593 00:31:24,616 --> 00:31:27,486 - I will be. 594 00:31:27,519 --> 00:31:31,490 - You know that fixing my glasses 595 00:31:31,523 --> 00:31:33,625 won't fix me. 596 00:31:33,659 --> 00:31:35,561 - Yeah, but they make all of this 597 00:31:35,594 --> 00:31:38,164 one speck less shitty. 598 00:31:45,337 --> 00:31:47,339 It smells like the fairy realm. 599 00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:50,509 - We're so far North. 600 00:31:50,542 --> 00:31:53,412 The climate should be cold and dry, not hot and moist. 601 00:31:53,445 --> 00:31:56,115 - Yeah, well, they're such moisture freaks. 602 00:31:56,148 --> 00:31:59,518 All that spritzing and bathing. 603 00:31:59,551 --> 00:32:02,088 You know, it's--it's like they're afraid 604 00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:05,024 to dry out in Fillory or something. 605 00:32:07,059 --> 00:32:09,128 - Oh, my God. 606 00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:13,365 - The fuckers are terraforming. 607 00:32:13,399 --> 00:32:16,168 - They're turning our kingdom into a mushroom steam bath. 608 00:32:16,202 --> 00:32:17,669 That is not okay. - No. 609 00:32:17,703 --> 00:32:19,338 Definitely not. 610 00:32:21,507 --> 00:32:24,143 That mushroom just moved. 611 00:32:28,647 --> 00:32:30,249 I'm--I'm gonna do it. 612 00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:32,051 - Mm. Margo, don't. 613 00:32:38,324 --> 00:32:40,526 - Oh. 614 00:32:42,328 --> 00:32:45,097 - Uh. 615 00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:47,333 - It's a fairy embryo. 616 00:32:48,434 --> 00:32:50,602 - These are eggs, El. 617 00:32:52,271 --> 00:32:54,140 - The fairies aren't just terraforming. 618 00:32:54,173 --> 00:32:56,275 They're growing an army. 619 00:33:00,212 --> 00:33:01,380 - I think these fairies might actually qualify as Big Bads. 620 00:33:03,249 --> 00:33:05,251 I mean, think about all the crazy shit 621 00:33:05,284 --> 00:33:07,019 they've kept us busy with. 622 00:33:07,053 --> 00:33:10,522 Earthworms, adolescent slug mash, turtle semen. 623 00:33:10,556 --> 00:33:13,459 This is all just a thin frosting of whimsy 624 00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:16,562 on a cupcake of conspiracy. 625 00:33:16,595 --> 00:33:20,032 No, no, no, no, no, no. This is a full-scale invasion. 626 00:33:20,066 --> 00:33:22,568 We need a plan bigger than just assassinating the Queen. 627 00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:26,172 We need--we need--we need--we need--we need... 628 00:33:26,205 --> 00:33:29,141 We need...Margo? 629 00:33:30,742 --> 00:33:33,212 Margo? 630 00:33:33,245 --> 00:33:35,114 Kidnapping. Hostages. Leverage. 631 00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:37,716 Don't ask questions, go! Go! 632 00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:40,052 - Go, go! 633 00:33:51,830 --> 00:33:53,832 Imagine being stuck on a raft with that thing. 634 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,601 Have you tried distracting it? 635 00:33:55,634 --> 00:33:58,570 For some reason, mine was really into seagulls. 636 00:33:58,604 --> 00:34:00,239 Wonder if that's because I'm into seagulls? 637 00:34:00,272 --> 00:34:02,074 - Please, fuck off. 638 00:34:02,108 --> 00:34:04,510 - Look, I'm sorry I passed you the key. 639 00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:05,844 I really thought you could handle it. 640 00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:07,746 - This is me handling it. 641 00:34:07,779 --> 00:34:10,749 - No, no, you're right. 642 00:34:10,782 --> 00:34:13,185 I wish we'd thought of tying ourselves up. 643 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:15,521 That first day, we passed it around randomly. 644 00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:17,356 That killed three of us off quick. 645 00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,191 Called it Bloody Tuesday. 646 00:34:19,225 --> 00:34:21,227 We figured out it affects some people right away. 647 00:34:21,260 --> 00:34:23,162 Others, it takes time to wear down. 648 00:34:26,598 --> 00:34:28,100 You want me to take the key for a while? 649 00:34:28,134 --> 00:34:29,301 Give you some relief? 650 00:34:29,335 --> 00:34:31,703 - No. 651 00:34:31,737 --> 00:34:34,273 I don't trust you not to pass it on to someone else. 652 00:34:34,306 --> 00:34:36,642 And I need it. 653 00:34:36,675 --> 00:34:38,677 For the quest. - Fine. 654 00:34:38,710 --> 00:34:40,812 Be a suffer-martyr. 655 00:34:40,846 --> 00:34:42,648 - Look, the keys don't just make you suffer. 656 00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:44,683 They help sometimes, too. 657 00:34:44,716 --> 00:34:47,853 Like with the keyholes and shit like that. 658 00:34:47,886 --> 00:34:49,388 - Keyholes, like... 659 00:34:49,421 --> 00:34:53,125 - Like in the walls or clocks. 660 00:34:53,159 --> 00:34:55,261 Don't ask me how it works. 661 00:34:55,294 --> 00:34:57,629 So--so where do the keyholes go? 662 00:34:57,663 --> 00:35:01,300 - To Earth or the Neitherlands or wherever. 663 00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:03,602 - Wait, wait. Are you serious? 664 00:35:09,175 --> 00:35:10,742 - Stop it. What are you doing? 665 00:35:10,776 --> 00:35:12,178 - I've been stuck here in Fillory this whole time 666 00:35:12,211 --> 00:35:13,412 when I could have gone home? 667 00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:16,148 - Hey. No, Poppy, stop it. 668 00:35:16,182 --> 00:35:18,684 Poppy, no. Stop. 669 00:35:18,717 --> 00:35:21,153 Poppy! 670 00:35:21,187 --> 00:35:23,289 - I told you you should've killed yourself. 671 00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:27,859 - Okay. 672 00:35:30,696 --> 00:35:33,799 Okay, we just have one outstanding problem. 673 00:35:33,832 --> 00:35:35,367 You kind of still need to fuck your husband. 674 00:35:35,401 --> 00:35:37,669 - Don't worry. I got this. 675 00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:46,712 Let's just say Ess was right about the toads in these parts. 676 00:35:46,745 --> 00:35:49,881 - No, baby. 677 00:35:49,915 --> 00:35:51,783 They've got fangs. 678 00:35:58,357 --> 00:36:01,260 Oh! Oh, something bit my manhood. 679 00:36:01,293 --> 00:36:03,329 - Congratulations, son. You just had sex. 680 00:36:03,362 --> 00:36:05,231 The first time's always painful. 681 00:36:05,264 --> 00:36:07,433 It's all those teeth they've got down there. 682 00:36:07,466 --> 00:36:11,203 But, hey, you were amazing. 683 00:36:11,237 --> 00:36:13,339 What? 684 00:36:13,372 --> 00:36:14,940 I like to watch. 685 00:36:18,910 --> 00:36:21,213 Hmm? 686 00:36:21,247 --> 00:36:23,215 - Benedict! 687 00:36:26,252 --> 00:36:28,720 Benedict, help! 688 00:36:28,754 --> 00:36:29,988 - Oh, my God, Benedict. 689 00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:31,390 Okay, untie me. 690 00:36:31,423 --> 00:36:32,658 - Sire, you said not to untie you. 691 00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:33,759 - No. No, no, no, no, no. 692 00:36:33,792 --> 00:36:35,227 Please, come on. Okay, look. 693 00:36:35,261 --> 00:36:36,762 I'm not trying to kill myself. 694 00:36:36,795 --> 00:36:38,697 Poppy took the key, and she is trying 695 00:36:38,730 --> 00:36:40,232 to use it to get back to Earth. 696 00:36:40,266 --> 00:36:41,933 Just--okay, go find her yourself. 697 00:36:41,967 --> 00:36:44,703 Just whatever you do, do not let her leave with that key. 698 00:36:44,736 --> 00:36:45,871 - Yes, Your Majesty. 699 00:36:47,739 --> 00:36:49,207 - God. 700 00:36:52,511 --> 00:36:54,012 - No! Stop! 701 00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:08,427 - I'm sorry, Your Majesty. 702 00:37:10,362 --> 00:37:12,464 I'm a terrible failure. 703 00:37:12,498 --> 00:37:14,766 - Okay. It's okay. 704 00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:17,703 We'll get the key back somehow. 705 00:37:25,444 --> 00:37:26,978 Benedict. 706 00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:32,784 Hey, hey. Benedict. 707 00:37:32,818 --> 00:37:34,553 Whoa, Benedict, no. Hey, listen. 708 00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:38,357 Whatever it's telling you to do, do not do it. 709 00:37:38,390 --> 00:37:40,759 - I'm sorry. 710 00:37:40,792 --> 00:37:41,993 - Benedict, no! 711 00:37:53,372 --> 00:37:55,741 - Mm. Yummy. 712 00:38:08,887 --> 00:38:09,688 - * Oh, as long as I know how to love * 713 00:38:11,990 --> 00:38:13,559 ♪ I know I'll stay alive 714 00:38:13,592 --> 00:38:15,461 ♪ I've got all my life to live ♪ 715 00:38:15,494 --> 00:38:17,529 ♪ I've got all my love to give ♪ 716 00:38:17,563 --> 00:38:21,333 ♪ And I'll survive, hey, hey ♪ 717 00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:24,970 - Just saying goodbye. 718 00:38:25,003 --> 00:38:27,573 Goodbye? Where are you going? 719 00:38:27,606 --> 00:38:28,840 - Just away. 720 00:38:28,874 --> 00:38:30,876 - Away--wait. 721 00:38:30,909 --> 00:38:34,480 Fuck, I hate this thing. Um. I don't understand. 722 00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:35,847 Is this because of what happened with Kady? 723 00:38:35,881 --> 00:38:37,449 - No. - Okay. 724 00:38:37,483 --> 00:38:38,717 Is it because we did the transfer? 725 00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:40,952 - No. Look, I gotta go. 726 00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:42,654 - Wait, will you just talk to me for a second? 727 00:38:42,688 --> 00:38:44,990 - You know what, we barely know each other. 728 00:38:45,023 --> 00:38:47,893 Don't suddenly act like you care just 'cause I'm going. 729 00:38:47,926 --> 00:38:49,561 - I'm not acting. 730 00:38:49,595 --> 00:38:50,829 I do care. I don't want to see you go. 731 00:38:50,862 --> 00:38:52,564 I don't want to see you give up. 732 00:38:52,598 --> 00:38:54,766 - Yeah. 733 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:58,904 - You're the one who had magic, and you gave it away. 734 00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:01,840 What's your plan? Go back to law school? 735 00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:03,642 Live off your trust fund? 736 00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:06,378 - Actually, no, my plan was to take five minutes 737 00:39:06,412 --> 00:39:08,747 and try to remember what life was like 738 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:10,982 without a god or a quest. 739 00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:12,751 Or some dead asshole bothering me. 740 00:39:12,784 --> 00:39:14,520 And, I don't know, frankly beyond that, 741 00:39:14,553 --> 00:39:15,754 it's none of your business. 742 00:39:15,787 --> 00:39:18,624 - 'Cause you have nothing beyond that. 743 00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:26,798 - Penny wants to say goodbye. 744 00:39:28,667 --> 00:39:32,771 - I can't do this anymore. 745 00:39:32,804 --> 00:39:36,642 I can't be a ghost person in my own life, okay? 746 00:39:40,679 --> 00:39:43,782 - Why don't I just make you a new body? 747 00:39:43,815 --> 00:39:45,617 Like Mayakovsky did for me. 748 00:40:03,735 --> 00:40:05,571 - A-plus job 749 00:40:05,604 --> 00:40:08,073 getting rid of me, gorgeous. 750 00:40:10,776 --> 00:40:13,745 - That time you fell out of a tree when you were 12. 751 00:40:13,779 --> 00:40:17,816 The bone in your arm healed in six little weeks. 752 00:40:17,849 --> 00:40:20,519 How come your fear of heights never did? 753 00:40:25,724 --> 00:40:27,526 I'm not the bone. 754 00:40:28,694 --> 00:40:30,762 I'm the terror. 755 00:40:32,030 --> 00:40:35,467 I do love how you keep trying. 756 00:40:35,501 --> 00:40:37,969 And trying. 757 00:40:38,003 --> 00:40:41,840 And trying. And trying. 758 00:40:48,614 --> 00:40:49,948 I have not been punched 759 00:40:49,981 --> 00:40:51,517 that hard since Burning Man. 760 00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:54,520 Where is he? Where did he go? 761 00:40:55,887 --> 00:40:57,723 Why does it smell like barbeque? 762 00:41:01,059 --> 00:41:03,995 - Benedict is dead, and best-case-scenario, 763 00:41:04,029 --> 00:41:05,597 the dragon shits the key into the bottom of the ocean. 764 00:41:05,631 --> 00:41:07,699 - Um, Quentin. - Don't talk to me. 765 00:41:07,733 --> 00:41:09,735 Please, I mean it. - Okay. 766 00:41:09,768 --> 00:41:11,737 Just Just one thing 767 00:41:11,770 --> 00:41:13,505 and I swear I will never talk to you again. 768 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,642 - Dragons don't shit. 769 00:41:16,675 --> 00:41:18,677 - Okay, great, fun fact. Thanks. 770 00:41:18,710 --> 00:41:20,111 - No one knows exactly how it works, 771 00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:22,881 but what they ingest goes elsewhere. 772 00:41:22,914 --> 00:41:24,650 They're gatekeepers, you know? 773 00:41:24,683 --> 00:41:26,151 They don't just make portals. 774 00:41:26,184 --> 00:41:28,153 They are portals. 775 00:41:28,186 --> 00:41:31,757 So, actual best-case-scenario... 776 00:41:31,790 --> 00:41:34,626 - The key went to the Underworld. 777 00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:36,962 - Mm. - Oh, my God. 778 00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:45,671 - If you're here, I'm practicing 779 00:41:45,704 --> 00:41:47,939 an Osseus Confervium. Bone-knitting. 780 00:41:47,973 --> 00:41:49,808 First step to building a new body. 781 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:54,646 - I know you can't see me, but I'm here. 782 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,047 Thanks for giving a shit about me. 783 00:42:01,620 --> 00:42:02,821 Alice? 784 00:42:04,089 --> 00:42:06,191 Alice? 785 00:42:06,224 --> 00:42:09,127 God, Alice. Alice! 786 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:12,631 God, this is--where's... 787 00:42:12,664 --> 00:42:14,099 Alice! 788 00:42:17,669 --> 00:42:21,673 Okay, okay, God. Come on. 789 00:42:21,707 --> 00:42:24,976 Come on, someone's got to hear this, please. 790 00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:32,217 - * Oh, as long as I know how to love * 791 00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:34,019 ♪ I know I'll stay alive 792 00:42:34,052 --> 00:42:35,987 ♪ I've got all my life to live ♪ 793 00:42:36,021 --> 00:42:38,089 ♪ I've got all my love to give ♪ 794 00:42:38,123 --> 00:42:40,959 ♪ And I'll survive, hey, hey ♪ 795 00:42:56,675 --> 00:43:00,178 ♪ It took all the strength I had not to fall apart ♪ 796 00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:04,082 ♪ Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart ♪ 56631

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