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All language subtitles for Ralph Arend - Worst Friends (Bootleg)~(English with German Subs)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,462 --> 00:00:03,330 1, 2, 3... 2 00:00:26,458 --> 00:00:31,458 Subtitles by explosiveskull 3 00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:35,260 So I'll be Batman for Halloween. You can be Alfred. 4 00:00:35,262 --> 00:00:36,428 - Alfred? - Yeah. 5 00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:38,130 Why not Robin, his sidekick? 6 00:00:38,132 --> 00:00:39,833 Batman doesn't need a sidekick. 7 00:00:39,835 --> 00:00:42,535 He needs somebody to pick up his dry cleaning. 8 00:00:42,537 --> 00:00:43,669 - Wait. - What? 9 00:00:43,671 --> 00:00:45,971 - That's Rita. - So what? 10 00:00:45,973 --> 00:00:48,074 So what? This is my chance. 11 00:00:48,076 --> 00:00:49,541 Are you kidding me? 12 00:00:49,543 --> 00:00:51,410 Those are high school girls, Jake. 13 00:00:51,412 --> 00:00:53,312 Listen, walk like 10 steps behind me. 14 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:56,049 When I reach her, go hide behind Mrs. Gomez's bush 15 00:00:56,051 --> 00:00:57,416 and wait for us to leave. 16 00:00:57,418 --> 00:00:59,251 It's Miss Gomez. She got a divorce. 17 00:00:59,253 --> 00:01:01,321 Just hide behind the Mexican lady's bush, Sam. 18 00:01:01,323 --> 00:01:03,089 Why can't I just walk ahead of you and go to school? 19 00:01:03,091 --> 00:01:04,791 Because if Rita rides the tard cart, 20 00:01:04,793 --> 00:01:08,097 I don't want to walk the rest of the way to school alone. 21 00:01:57,145 --> 00:02:00,613 So, Mr. Sanderson, is this right? 22 00:02:00,615 --> 00:02:04,186 Mr. Sanderson, I think this is right. 23 00:02:08,156 --> 00:02:10,055 Nope. 24 00:02:10,057 --> 00:02:13,226 No, it's wrong. 25 00:02:13,228 --> 00:02:16,729 You're never going to get that one right. 26 00:02:16,731 --> 00:02:18,597 No, no, no. 27 00:02:18,599 --> 00:02:21,266 I meant even someone old enough to take the SATs 28 00:02:21,268 --> 00:02:23,772 would have trouble with that. 29 00:02:26,874 --> 00:02:28,974 Well... 30 00:02:28,976 --> 00:02:30,710 maybe not. 31 00:02:30,712 --> 00:02:32,779 But you're 11, for Christ's sakes. 32 00:02:32,781 --> 00:02:34,781 It's not a big deal you're not smart enough for this. 33 00:02:34,783 --> 00:02:36,782 My mom thinks I'm smart enough for it. 34 00:02:36,784 --> 00:02:39,185 You know what? Your mom's delusional. 35 00:02:39,187 --> 00:02:41,888 Sam, I don't think you're the right person for this job. 36 00:02:41,890 --> 00:02:45,258 Just remember, Linda, I got a perfect score on my SATs, 37 00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:46,825 and I never went to college. 38 00:02:46,827 --> 00:02:50,129 Great SAT score doesn't mean a great future. 39 00:02:50,131 --> 00:02:52,301 You owe me $60 for the hour. 40 00:02:56,237 --> 00:02:58,238 My rental just got a flat. 41 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,240 No, I've never changed a tire in my life. 42 00:03:00,242 --> 00:03:03,609 I'm not gonna start now. Just gonna jog it out. 43 00:03:03,611 --> 00:03:06,812 I don't know that I want you to meet my dad just yet or ever. 44 00:03:06,814 --> 00:03:08,615 I'm literally seeing him as I walk down the aisle, 45 00:03:08,617 --> 00:03:10,449 meeting his new wife as she takes off her goddamn veil. 46 00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,585 It's a quick in and out. What the fuck? 47 00:03:12,587 --> 00:03:15,221 No, no. I'm not involving you because I love you. 48 00:03:15,223 --> 00:03:18,258 Listen, everything you don't like about me, 49 00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:20,359 that's my dad times a million. 50 00:03:20,361 --> 00:03:22,895 I really don't wanna fight... 51 00:03:44,552 --> 00:03:48,356 Oh, fuck. Don't move. Let me get your dad. 52 00:03:53,228 --> 00:03:54,760 Jakey? 53 00:03:54,762 --> 00:03:57,697 There you are. We thought we lost you, man. 54 00:03:57,699 --> 00:03:59,765 I was just watching the Yanks in the other room. 55 00:03:59,767 --> 00:04:02,769 They played her commercial like six times. 56 00:04:02,771 --> 00:04:04,370 Jersey Junkers! 57 00:04:04,372 --> 00:04:06,906 We'll kill you with lower prices. 58 00:04:06,908 --> 00:04:09,309 Do you recognize the voice? She does all the voices. 59 00:04:09,311 --> 00:04:11,080 I sent you the YouTube, right? 60 00:04:14,983 --> 00:04:16,849 How do you feel? 61 00:04:19,087 --> 00:04:23,922 - Come again, Jake? - What... happened? 62 00:04:23,924 --> 00:04:27,227 Oh, well, uh, you got into a fight with a car, kiddo. 63 00:04:27,229 --> 00:04:30,362 The car won. 64 00:04:30,364 --> 00:04:33,765 Kiddo, I want you to formally meet my beautiful bride. 65 00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:35,001 This is Cassandra. 66 00:04:35,003 --> 00:04:37,436 You got married? 67 00:04:37,438 --> 00:04:40,939 Of course. We got the skinny on you, 68 00:04:40,941 --> 00:04:43,676 and then, you know, we just went on with the ceremony. 69 00:04:43,678 --> 00:04:45,345 I am exhausted. 70 00:04:45,347 --> 00:04:49,114 The deejay played every song I asked him to. 71 00:04:49,116 --> 00:04:50,450 Your father. 72 00:04:50,452 --> 00:04:52,654 I got video of it. Don't worry. 73 00:04:59,159 --> 00:05:01,227 Don't you have tutoring today? 74 00:05:01,229 --> 00:05:02,861 Nah. I think I got fired. 75 00:05:02,863 --> 00:05:04,731 Why would they fire you? 76 00:05:04,733 --> 00:05:06,799 You got a perfect score on your SATs. 77 00:05:06,801 --> 00:05:09,135 There's no better tutor in this town. 78 00:05:09,137 --> 00:05:11,136 I was tutoring a 10-year-old. 79 00:05:11,138 --> 00:05:13,405 They can't take the SATs that young. 80 00:05:13,407 --> 00:05:14,407 Exactly. 81 00:05:14,409 --> 00:05:16,109 Kids aren't smart enough then. 82 00:05:16,111 --> 00:05:17,109 Right. 83 00:05:17,111 --> 00:05:18,977 Well, that's just silly. 84 00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:21,013 I know. 85 00:05:21,015 --> 00:05:24,450 You win some, you lose some. 86 00:05:24,452 --> 00:05:27,623 I'll just pick up some more shifts at St. Vincent's. 87 00:05:29,257 --> 00:05:31,691 I'll figure it out, Mom. 88 00:05:31,693 --> 00:05:34,092 We'll be okay. 89 00:05:34,094 --> 00:05:36,729 I don't know. 90 00:05:36,731 --> 00:05:39,232 We'll figure it out. 91 00:05:39,234 --> 00:05:41,801 Did you hear about Jacob? 92 00:05:41,803 --> 00:05:45,104 - Who? - Jacob. Jake. 93 00:05:45,106 --> 00:05:46,838 No. What about him? 94 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,640 Jake, everything's gonna be fine. 95 00:05:48,642 --> 00:05:50,676 You got like a month of physical therapy, and that's it. 96 00:05:50,678 --> 00:05:53,479 No big deal. Plus you got the run of the house, 97 00:05:53,481 --> 00:05:55,213 and we just renovated and everything. 98 00:05:55,215 --> 00:05:56,616 What the fuck are you talking about? 99 00:05:56,618 --> 00:05:58,818 We're gonna get out of your hair, kiddo. 100 00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:00,285 No big deal. 101 00:06:00,287 --> 00:06:02,854 Hey, where are you going? 102 00:06:02,856 --> 00:06:05,792 - It's our honeymoon, kiddo. - Don't call me that. 103 00:06:05,794 --> 00:06:08,660 Your honeymoon? I can't be alone. 104 00:06:08,662 --> 00:06:10,862 Well, you can't come with us, Jake, that's nuts. 105 00:06:10,864 --> 00:06:12,498 Whoa, whoa! Wait! 106 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:16,038 I don't wanna go with you. I want you to stay. 107 00:06:18,606 --> 00:06:22,308 Jake, you're gonna get in a good five or six car accidents 108 00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:23,743 in your life. 109 00:06:23,745 --> 00:06:26,546 I only get one honeymoon with this beautiful woman. 110 00:06:26,548 --> 00:06:28,047 Be reasonable. 111 00:06:28,049 --> 00:06:30,616 Now, look, we're gonna push our flights back a couple of days, 112 00:06:30,618 --> 00:06:33,318 and when we do leave, you're gonna get the best in-house care 113 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,491 money can buy, okay? 114 00:06:37,424 --> 00:06:38,693 Come on! 115 00:06:40,495 --> 00:06:41,594 Go! 116 00:07:13,527 --> 00:07:17,130 ...is best known for its birds. 117 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,364 They gather here each winter in great numbers. 118 00:07:19,366 --> 00:07:21,770 I got it. 119 00:07:25,306 --> 00:07:27,109 You call those specialists yet? 120 00:07:30,245 --> 00:07:31,710 You're leaving tomorrow. 121 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:36,816 Yeah. I just got to confirm, you know, a few things. 122 00:07:36,818 --> 00:07:40,253 Hey, Jake, there's someone named Sam here to see you. 123 00:07:40,255 --> 00:07:42,587 - Sam? - Yeah. 124 00:07:42,589 --> 00:07:44,823 Like a squirrely little Jewish kid? 125 00:07:44,825 --> 00:07:48,727 I don't know. He could be Italian or something. 126 00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:51,463 Hey, buddy! What's going on? 127 00:07:51,465 --> 00:07:54,467 - How are you, Mr. Kitner? - Fine, fine, fine. 128 00:07:54,469 --> 00:07:57,837 So, what you got going on these days? 129 00:07:57,839 --> 00:08:01,073 Nothing much. Heard Jake got into an accident. 130 00:08:01,075 --> 00:08:03,176 Yeah, yeah, on the way to my wedding. 131 00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:04,576 Selfish son of a bitch. 132 00:08:04,578 --> 00:08:07,746 It's always got to be about him, right? 133 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,448 All finished? 134 00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:10,515 Yeah. 135 00:08:10,517 --> 00:08:12,350 Hey, Cassandra, do me a favor. 136 00:08:12,352 --> 00:08:15,354 Grab that desk lamp, plug it in over there. 137 00:08:15,356 --> 00:08:16,989 Sure thing, kiddo. 138 00:08:16,991 --> 00:08:18,424 Ugh... 139 00:08:18,426 --> 00:08:21,193 So, anyway, you working? 140 00:08:21,195 --> 00:08:23,796 You got anything... Making any money? 141 00:08:23,798 --> 00:08:26,833 Actually, times are kinda tough right now. 142 00:08:26,835 --> 00:08:28,868 I just lost a client. 143 00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:31,303 Oh, yeah? What do you do for a living? 144 00:08:31,305 --> 00:08:36,274 I'm a tutor, uh, for the SATs. 145 00:08:36,276 --> 00:08:39,878 So, you know, just, uh... 146 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,913 - Is Jake here? - Hmm? 147 00:08:41,915 --> 00:08:43,782 - Jake? - Yeah, no, totally. 148 00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,351 - Oh, okay. - Yeah, run up and see him. 149 00:08:46,353 --> 00:08:48,086 - Cool. - Yeah. 150 00:08:48,088 --> 00:08:50,156 Uh, catch me on your way back. 151 00:08:50,158 --> 00:08:51,592 Yeah. 152 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,327 Would you like something to drink? 153 00:08:55,329 --> 00:08:57,732 Maybe a glass of water. 154 00:09:03,237 --> 00:09:04,237 Who's there? 155 00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:06,138 It's Sam, man. 156 00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:08,141 I heard about the accident. 157 00:09:08,143 --> 00:09:09,609 - Who? - Sam. 158 00:09:09,611 --> 00:09:11,811 Sam Sanderson from back when we were kids. 159 00:09:11,813 --> 00:09:12,845 Who's talking? 160 00:09:12,847 --> 00:09:15,049 Sam Sanderson. 161 00:09:16,885 --> 00:09:18,250 Geez, man. 162 00:09:18,252 --> 00:09:19,851 It's been a long time. 163 00:09:19,853 --> 00:09:22,654 Yeah, yeah. 164 00:09:22,656 --> 00:09:24,356 I hear you're doing really well. 165 00:09:24,358 --> 00:09:26,526 Well, I've been better, considering. 166 00:09:26,528 --> 00:09:30,162 You know, I was considering calling you. 167 00:09:30,164 --> 00:09:32,565 Just been a lot of shit between us. 168 00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:34,800 It's been a really long, long time. 169 00:09:34,802 --> 00:09:36,301 I can't say that enough. 170 00:09:36,303 --> 00:09:38,638 Long time from what? 171 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,071 Ohh! 172 00:09:40,073 --> 00:09:42,175 I can't see you. My vision's going in and out. 173 00:09:42,177 --> 00:09:43,643 Are you okay? Should I get your dad? 174 00:09:43,645 --> 00:09:47,979 My dad? My dad's been dead for many years. 175 00:09:47,981 --> 00:09:49,882 They took him away a long time ago. 176 00:09:49,884 --> 00:09:51,053 Who did? 177 00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:54,085 The Spaniards. 178 00:09:54,087 --> 00:09:55,754 What? 179 00:09:55,756 --> 00:10:00,258 Buddy, buddy, there's a miracle on 34th Street. 180 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:02,597 You've gotta help me find it. 181 00:10:04,198 --> 00:10:06,199 Who... 182 00:10:06,201 --> 00:10:08,633 are... 183 00:10:08,635 --> 00:10:10,235 you?! 184 00:10:10,237 --> 00:10:12,238 I'm Sam! Sam! I'm Sam! It's me, Jakey! 185 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:16,508 I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I don't... 186 00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:18,511 I don't remember anything. 187 00:10:18,513 --> 00:10:20,546 They told me I got into an accident, 188 00:10:20,548 --> 00:10:22,748 but I don't remember you! 189 00:10:24,851 --> 00:10:26,185 Thank you. 190 00:10:26,187 --> 00:10:28,921 I'm sorry. I didn't get your name. 191 00:10:28,923 --> 00:10:29,922 It's Cassandra. 192 00:10:29,924 --> 00:10:31,657 Thanks, Cassandra. 193 00:10:31,659 --> 00:10:32,792 No problem. 194 00:10:32,794 --> 00:10:34,726 Cassandra was born in Tenafly, New Jersey. 195 00:10:34,728 --> 00:10:36,428 She graduated from Montclair State 196 00:10:36,430 --> 00:10:37,997 with a degree in fashion history. 197 00:10:37,999 --> 00:10:39,297 Her favorite color is turquoise, 198 00:10:39,299 --> 00:10:41,834 and she likes swimming for exercise. 199 00:10:41,836 --> 00:10:43,034 Hi, Cassandra. 200 00:10:43,036 --> 00:10:44,305 Hmm. 201 00:10:46,573 --> 00:10:47,508 Who are you? 202 00:10:50,211 --> 00:10:53,311 Fucking piece of shit! 203 00:10:53,313 --> 00:10:55,681 Who's a piece of shit? 204 00:10:55,683 --> 00:10:57,682 Who's talking? 205 00:10:57,684 --> 00:11:00,085 Who are you?! 206 00:11:00,087 --> 00:11:02,524 Sam? 207 00:11:03,658 --> 00:11:06,825 Is Jake suffering from memory loss? 208 00:11:06,827 --> 00:11:08,694 Not that I know of. 209 00:11:08,696 --> 00:11:10,196 Didn't think so. 210 00:11:10,198 --> 00:11:12,130 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 211 00:11:12,132 --> 00:11:13,798 - Where you going? - Home. 212 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,433 What happened? 213 00:11:15,435 --> 00:11:18,070 - Your son's an asshole. - I know, but what happened? 214 00:11:18,072 --> 00:11:20,473 - I'm going home. - Hey, hey, hey, wait, wait. 215 00:11:20,475 --> 00:11:23,575 Listen, Cassie and I, we just got married. 216 00:11:23,577 --> 00:11:25,610 - We're going on our honeymoon. - Congratulations. 217 00:11:25,612 --> 00:11:28,480 No, wait. Do you know how expensive in-home care is? 218 00:11:28,482 --> 00:11:29,981 'Cause I didn't. 219 00:11:29,983 --> 00:11:31,883 I was throwing the term around like it was nothing, 220 00:11:31,885 --> 00:11:33,386 and then I looked it up. 221 00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:35,053 Well, let him pay for it. He's got all the money. 222 00:11:35,055 --> 00:11:37,290 He's not doing as well as he likes to sing about. 223 00:11:37,292 --> 00:11:39,292 It costs a lot of money to put a piece of metal 224 00:11:39,294 --> 00:11:40,960 in somebody's shoulder. 225 00:11:40,962 --> 00:11:45,564 Now, listen, we are gonna get onto that plane to St. Barts. 226 00:11:45,566 --> 00:11:48,600 I mean, come on! I don't deserve this! 227 00:11:48,602 --> 00:11:50,002 So how about it? 228 00:11:50,004 --> 00:11:52,971 He's gonna be in a wheelchair for like another week, 229 00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:55,508 and then after that, it's gonna be a lot easier. 230 00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:59,512 So do your oldest friend a big favor. 231 00:11:59,514 --> 00:12:02,715 Stay with Jake while we're gone. 232 00:12:02,717 --> 00:12:04,383 Absolutely not. 233 00:12:04,385 --> 00:12:06,252 I'll pay you $750. 234 00:12:06,254 --> 00:12:07,887 How long do I have to be here for? 235 00:12:07,889 --> 00:12:09,120 A month. 236 00:12:09,122 --> 00:12:10,523 1,000. 237 00:12:10,525 --> 00:12:11,423 Deal. 238 00:12:11,425 --> 00:12:14,659 500 now, 500 when we get back. 239 00:12:14,661 --> 00:12:16,662 Now, we're leaving in the morning. 240 00:12:16,664 --> 00:12:19,632 I mean, you gotta stay here. You understand that, right? 241 00:12:19,634 --> 00:12:21,633 I can't have you going home at night 242 00:12:21,635 --> 00:12:23,301 just in case something happens. 243 00:12:23,303 --> 00:12:25,638 Are you sure you're okay with me staying here? 244 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,872 I'm not a nurse. 245 00:12:26,874 --> 00:12:28,673 You work with kids. 246 00:12:28,675 --> 00:12:30,475 Not the same thing. 247 00:12:30,477 --> 00:12:33,412 It's fine. Listen, I wouldn't do this 248 00:12:33,414 --> 00:12:35,848 unless I trust that everything will be okay. 249 00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:39,821 I mean, it's not like I'm a shitty father, right? 250 00:12:50,898 --> 00:12:52,567 You gotta kidding me. 251 00:13:11,752 --> 00:13:13,853 Hello! 252 00:13:13,855 --> 00:13:15,588 - What's going on, dummy? - Who are you? 253 00:13:15,590 --> 00:13:18,224 - Drop it. I talked to your dad. - Who? 254 00:13:18,226 --> 00:13:19,557 Eat shit, Jake. 255 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,359 I'm gonna go downstairs, make a sandwich. 256 00:13:21,361 --> 00:13:22,927 You want something? 257 00:13:22,929 --> 00:13:24,196 Yes. 258 00:13:24,198 --> 00:13:26,201 All right. 259 00:13:28,669 --> 00:13:31,137 Is there a note or something down there? 260 00:13:31,139 --> 00:13:33,172 No. 261 00:13:33,174 --> 00:13:35,807 Why would there be? 262 00:13:35,809 --> 00:13:37,143 For the nurse. 263 00:13:37,145 --> 00:13:39,577 My dad said he was gonna get me a live-in nurse. 264 00:13:39,579 --> 00:13:41,614 Fuck you, Jake! 265 00:13:41,616 --> 00:13:43,081 What? 266 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:45,484 If you call me that while I'm here, 267 00:13:45,486 --> 00:13:48,186 I'm gonna walk out, and you're gonna shit yourself 268 00:13:48,188 --> 00:13:50,122 and starve to death in that bed. 269 00:13:50,124 --> 00:13:51,123 What? 270 00:13:51,125 --> 00:13:52,858 Did I stutter? 271 00:13:52,860 --> 00:13:54,596 Don't call me that, Jake. 272 00:13:59,232 --> 00:14:01,633 - It's turkey. - Are you kidding? 273 00:14:01,635 --> 00:14:03,869 Your dad left food money, but that's the best I can do 274 00:14:03,871 --> 00:14:05,271 with what's in the fridge. 275 00:14:05,273 --> 00:14:06,538 Is this a joke? 276 00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:09,307 It's the best I can do, considering. 277 00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:11,579 They're on an airplane, Jake. 278 00:14:14,682 --> 00:14:16,818 You want anything to drink? 279 00:14:18,385 --> 00:14:22,256 Don't try to move, or I'll hobble you. 280 00:14:26,092 --> 00:14:27,493 Hey! 281 00:14:27,495 --> 00:14:30,298 I have to go to the bathroom! 282 00:14:31,832 --> 00:14:34,066 Watch the door, asshole. 283 00:14:34,068 --> 00:14:35,500 This door isn't wide enough. 284 00:14:35,502 --> 00:14:37,369 Why would my dad's second-floor bathroom 285 00:14:37,371 --> 00:14:38,870 be wheelchair accessible? 286 00:14:38,872 --> 00:14:40,372 The default for any bathroom 287 00:14:40,374 --> 00:14:42,240 should be that it be wheelchair accessible. 288 00:14:42,242 --> 00:14:45,244 Right! Why don't you go ahead and pioneer that one, nurse? 289 00:14:45,246 --> 00:14:47,213 Second-floor wheelchair accessible bathrooms. 290 00:14:47,215 --> 00:14:49,047 Great idea. 291 00:14:49,049 --> 00:14:50,615 All right, whatever. 292 00:14:50,617 --> 00:14:54,220 Look, Sam, come on! I'm messing with you. 293 00:14:54,222 --> 00:14:56,489 Come back. 294 00:14:56,491 --> 00:14:58,290 Sam! 295 00:14:58,292 --> 00:15:00,625 I'm shitting my pants! 296 00:15:00,627 --> 00:15:01,960 - Easy. - Yeah. 297 00:15:01,962 --> 00:15:03,231 Okay. 298 00:15:08,435 --> 00:15:10,402 Hey. 299 00:15:10,404 --> 00:15:13,571 Can't shit through my pants, buddy. 300 00:15:13,573 --> 00:15:16,111 Move it on back. 301 00:15:21,649 --> 00:15:23,449 Oh, come on. 302 00:15:23,451 --> 00:15:26,087 Nothing you haven't seen before. 303 00:15:27,587 --> 00:15:29,687 Who is it? 304 00:15:29,689 --> 00:15:32,023 I don't know yet. I haven't opened the door. 305 00:15:32,025 --> 00:15:33,527 Who is it? 306 00:15:36,764 --> 00:15:38,964 Hey, I got a delivery here for Jacob Kitner. 307 00:15:38,966 --> 00:15:40,431 Yeah, I can sign for it. 308 00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:42,567 - He's not Jacob Kitner! - I'm not. 309 00:15:42,569 --> 00:15:44,235 Are you a resident of this house? 310 00:15:44,237 --> 00:15:46,638 - He is not a resident! - I'm not. 311 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,440 Is there someone who can sign for this who is? 312 00:15:48,442 --> 00:15:49,841 It ain't him! 313 00:15:49,843 --> 00:15:52,011 He's Jacob Kitner. He can sign for it. 314 00:15:53,347 --> 00:15:55,080 I'm Jacob Kitner. 315 00:15:55,082 --> 00:15:57,715 Sign here. 316 00:15:57,717 --> 00:15:59,685 This guy, he kidnapped me. 317 00:15:59,687 --> 00:16:02,321 He broke my arm and leg. You gotta help me. 318 00:16:02,323 --> 00:16:04,455 Did he also cast and set your injuries? 319 00:16:04,457 --> 00:16:07,359 Yeah. He's a doctor. 320 00:16:07,361 --> 00:16:09,427 You gotta help me. 321 00:16:09,429 --> 00:16:11,129 Nothing changes, Jake. 322 00:16:11,131 --> 00:16:13,197 Who the hell are you? 323 00:16:13,199 --> 00:16:14,867 Daniel. 324 00:16:14,869 --> 00:16:18,103 Daniel O'Connor. We took trig together. 325 00:16:18,105 --> 00:16:20,272 See you later, asshole. 326 00:16:20,274 --> 00:16:22,206 I never took trig! 327 00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:24,109 Hey, sorry, dude. I didn't recognize you. 328 00:16:24,111 --> 00:16:25,577 That's cool, man. 329 00:16:25,579 --> 00:16:28,013 The hat and shorts and shit really throw people off. 330 00:16:28,015 --> 00:16:29,348 Yeah, no doubt. 331 00:16:29,350 --> 00:16:30,648 What are you doing here? 332 00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:33,886 His dad paid me to take care of him. 333 00:16:33,888 --> 00:16:35,687 - How much? - A grand. 334 00:16:35,689 --> 00:16:39,090 That's not enough. That kid's an asshole. 335 00:16:39,092 --> 00:16:40,658 Yeah, he messes around. 336 00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:42,894 You don't get into an accident like that for no reason. 337 00:16:42,896 --> 00:16:44,529 He's bad energy. 338 00:16:44,531 --> 00:16:46,764 Yeah. Where's the package? 339 00:16:46,766 --> 00:16:47,932 Just a second. 340 00:16:47,934 --> 00:16:50,335 By the way, he told me that you kidnapped him. 341 00:16:50,337 --> 00:16:52,237 I'm gonna come around back. 342 00:16:52,239 --> 00:16:53,375 All right. 343 00:16:55,443 --> 00:16:57,746 I don't remember that kid at all. 344 00:17:04,051 --> 00:17:05,850 Somebody loves this guy. 345 00:17:05,852 --> 00:17:07,119 Yeah, then why am I here? 346 00:17:07,121 --> 00:17:11,090 Stop talking and kiss already! 347 00:17:11,092 --> 00:17:12,224 Ugh! 348 00:17:12,226 --> 00:17:14,193 All right, Sam, see you around. 349 00:17:14,195 --> 00:17:15,530 I'll see you around. 350 00:17:18,332 --> 00:17:20,765 - Help me downstairs. - I don't think so. 351 00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:23,234 Well, it's either that or bring the shit up here. 352 00:17:23,236 --> 00:17:25,003 I could just as easily do neither. 353 00:17:25,005 --> 00:17:27,005 I'm gonna throw myself down the stairs and break my neck. 354 00:17:27,007 --> 00:17:30,678 Everyone will think you did it, and you'll go to prison. 355 00:17:37,717 --> 00:17:40,718 What the hell am I supposed to do with this? 356 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,589 It's from your cousin Marie. 357 00:17:43,591 --> 00:17:45,858 You used to have a thing for Marie, didn't you? 358 00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:47,192 I don't remember. 359 00:17:47,194 --> 00:17:49,494 Yeah, you totally had a thing for Marie. 360 00:17:49,496 --> 00:17:50,631 Stop it. 361 00:17:51,899 --> 00:17:54,399 Oh, cool! West Wing. 362 00:17:54,401 --> 00:17:57,403 - Never heard of it. - It's a pretty good show. 363 00:17:57,405 --> 00:18:00,272 Yeah, I bet. You want it? I'll sell it to you. 364 00:18:00,274 --> 00:18:02,640 - No. - Wholesale, at cost. 365 00:18:02,642 --> 00:18:04,709 You can't say at cost. It cost you nothing. 366 00:18:04,711 --> 00:18:08,914 I'm not gonna give this to you for free. That's ridiculous. 367 00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:10,784 Going, going, gone. 368 00:18:17,457 --> 00:18:19,957 Who would send me this shit? 369 00:18:19,959 --> 00:18:22,394 This is from your office. 370 00:18:22,396 --> 00:18:24,196 I know who sent it to me. 371 00:18:24,198 --> 00:18:28,434 I don't understand who'd send it to me in the figurative way. 372 00:18:28,436 --> 00:18:31,102 Well, looking at this stuff, 373 00:18:31,104 --> 00:18:36,108 whoever sent this to you doesn't know anything about you. 374 00:18:36,110 --> 00:18:39,578 Actually, really any of this stuff, 375 00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:41,580 all of it seems to be indicative 376 00:18:41,582 --> 00:18:43,615 of someone who doesn't know you at all. 377 00:18:43,617 --> 00:18:46,885 They probably don't know you because you don't know them. 378 00:18:46,887 --> 00:18:48,857 That's not true. 379 00:18:51,624 --> 00:18:54,259 This is from Kate, from your office. 380 00:18:54,261 --> 00:18:56,628 What's Kate's last name? 381 00:18:56,630 --> 00:18:58,930 You don't know what the hell you're talking about. 382 00:18:58,932 --> 00:19:01,766 Been here for a few hours now, not to mention last night. 383 00:19:01,768 --> 00:19:04,102 You'd rather jerk me around than ask me how I've been 384 00:19:04,104 --> 00:19:05,337 or what I've been up to. 385 00:19:05,339 --> 00:19:06,437 Are you kidding me? 386 00:19:06,439 --> 00:19:08,506 It's not like you asked me. 387 00:19:08,508 --> 00:19:11,042 All right, fine. We're in the same position then. 388 00:19:11,044 --> 00:19:14,079 What have you been up to, Sam? 389 00:19:14,081 --> 00:19:15,747 - Shut up. - No, tell me. 390 00:19:15,749 --> 00:19:19,251 I really, really, really want to know. 391 00:19:19,253 --> 00:19:21,219 Shut up. I'm taking you upstairs. 392 00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:22,955 Come on! 393 00:19:22,957 --> 00:19:24,322 No, no, wait, wait. 394 00:19:24,324 --> 00:19:26,157 Seriously. You know what the difference is 395 00:19:26,159 --> 00:19:30,195 between you asking me what I've been up to since I left Jersey, 396 00:19:30,197 --> 00:19:31,597 and me asking you? 397 00:19:31,599 --> 00:19:33,165 No. 398 00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:36,334 There are any number of things that I could've been doing 399 00:19:36,336 --> 00:19:38,669 because I left my parents' house. 400 00:19:38,671 --> 00:19:40,839 I have something interesting to say 401 00:19:40,841 --> 00:19:43,675 because I have something to say. 402 00:19:43,677 --> 00:19:46,677 I know what the answer would be if I asked you, you know? 403 00:19:46,679 --> 00:19:49,313 You've been doing what you've been doing 404 00:19:49,315 --> 00:19:50,882 for the last 10 years. 405 00:19:50,884 --> 00:19:53,253 You gotta see what I'm talking about. 406 00:20:00,294 --> 00:20:04,163 Is that the shirt Zoe Mayer threw up on? 407 00:20:04,165 --> 00:20:05,798 Yeah, of course. 408 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,000 When was the last time you washed that? 409 00:20:08,002 --> 00:20:09,801 You wear that like every night, 410 00:20:09,803 --> 00:20:12,271 wrap it around your face and sniff it before you go to sleep? 411 00:20:12,273 --> 00:20:14,939 All right, show's over. 412 00:20:14,941 --> 00:20:17,245 I'm taking the shirt off. 413 00:20:40,133 --> 00:20:41,602 Hello? 414 00:20:44,037 --> 00:20:45,439 Hello! 415 00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:52,479 Hello! 416 00:21:06,493 --> 00:21:07,826 Hello? 417 00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:10,228 Hey, are you Sam? 418 00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:12,697 Yeah, I am. Who are you? 419 00:21:12,699 --> 00:21:15,000 I'm Lily. I'm Jake's physical therapist. 420 00:21:15,002 --> 00:21:17,468 - Physical therapist? - Yeah. 421 00:21:17,470 --> 00:21:19,271 At some point, he's gonna have to walk again. 422 00:21:19,273 --> 00:21:20,671 No, it's not that. 423 00:21:20,673 --> 00:21:22,907 I'm just surprised his dad sprang for it. 424 00:21:22,909 --> 00:21:25,244 Well, it was a choice of someone to bathe him 425 00:21:25,246 --> 00:21:26,778 or his ability to walk straight. 426 00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:28,880 I think they made the smart decision. 427 00:21:28,882 --> 00:21:30,215 I don't know. 428 00:21:30,217 --> 00:21:33,017 Uh, can you tell me where Jake is? 429 00:21:33,019 --> 00:21:34,453 Yeah, he's in the other room. 430 00:21:34,455 --> 00:21:36,120 Ah! 431 00:21:36,122 --> 00:21:38,490 Who the hell is this? 432 00:21:38,492 --> 00:21:41,392 Lily. She's your physical therapist. 433 00:21:41,394 --> 00:21:43,861 My dad sprung for a physical therapist? 434 00:21:43,863 --> 00:21:46,298 Well, it was a choice between either having to bathe you or... 435 00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:48,500 Okay, thank you, Sam. Thank you. 436 00:21:48,502 --> 00:21:51,035 So can you stand on your own yet? 437 00:21:51,037 --> 00:21:53,839 Maybe. I haven't tried. 438 00:21:53,841 --> 00:21:55,577 Okay, try. 439 00:21:58,946 --> 00:22:01,413 Can I at least get a cup of coffee or something first? 440 00:22:01,415 --> 00:22:03,881 Uh, nope. Try. 441 00:22:03,883 --> 00:22:06,286 Okay. 442 00:22:10,189 --> 00:22:13,193 - Get a little help there? - Mm-hmm. 443 00:22:16,196 --> 00:22:19,097 You live around here? 444 00:22:19,099 --> 00:22:20,601 Can you lift up your left arm, please? 445 00:22:23,070 --> 00:22:24,403 Your injured arm. 446 00:22:24,405 --> 00:22:26,471 - Oh, my left arm. - Yeah. 447 00:22:26,473 --> 00:22:28,874 - That was the confusion. - Yeah. 448 00:22:28,876 --> 00:22:30,309 You got a boyfriend? 449 00:22:30,311 --> 00:22:31,510 No. No patience either. 450 00:22:31,512 --> 00:22:33,011 And those two things go hand-in-hand. 451 00:22:33,013 --> 00:22:35,613 Whoa! This kitten's got claws. 452 00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:37,683 You're gonna walk like a peg leg for the rest of your life 453 00:22:37,685 --> 00:22:39,350 if you don't let me help you. 454 00:22:39,352 --> 00:22:40,886 In order for me to help you, you need to not talk 455 00:22:40,888 --> 00:22:43,522 while I'm giving you directions, okay? 456 00:22:43,524 --> 00:22:45,624 Okay, so try lifting your arm again. 457 00:22:45,626 --> 00:22:47,662 This time keep the tension in the shoulder. 458 00:22:53,266 --> 00:22:55,266 Good. See? 459 00:22:55,268 --> 00:22:57,703 The world's a lot quieter when you listen. 460 00:22:57,705 --> 00:23:00,571 - Sam. - You need me to walk you out? 461 00:23:00,573 --> 00:23:02,307 No. Okay, here's the deal. 462 00:23:02,309 --> 00:23:04,309 I need you to get up every morning at 9 a.m. 463 00:23:04,311 --> 00:23:06,645 I need him up early, moving his arms and legs. 464 00:23:06,647 --> 00:23:08,981 If he doesn't do this, he could get major blood clots, 465 00:23:08,983 --> 00:23:10,815 and he could die, okay? 466 00:23:10,817 --> 00:23:12,884 I need you to shower him once a day. 467 00:23:12,886 --> 00:23:15,587 I need you to change his dressings twice a day. 468 00:23:15,589 --> 00:23:18,357 And keep him off heavy dairy, and keep him eating protein. 469 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:19,858 - All right? - Okay. 470 00:23:19,860 --> 00:23:21,392 Okay, I'll be back once a week. 471 00:23:21,394 --> 00:23:23,797 Do you need me to walk you out? 472 00:23:25,865 --> 00:23:27,866 - She's awesome. - She's tough is what she is. 473 00:23:27,868 --> 00:23:29,600 I don't need that in my life right now. 474 00:23:29,602 --> 00:23:31,469 Yeah, the last thing you need is someone pushing you 475 00:23:31,471 --> 00:23:33,472 into some sort of recovery. 476 00:23:33,474 --> 00:23:36,742 She's got a whole regimen I gotta do with you. 477 00:23:36,744 --> 00:23:38,109 Sounds awful. 478 00:23:38,111 --> 00:23:40,111 Yeah, for me more than you. 479 00:23:40,113 --> 00:23:42,580 Why are you doing this anyway? 480 00:23:42,582 --> 00:23:45,484 My dad gonna give you his Buick or something? 481 00:23:45,486 --> 00:23:47,619 I'm your friend. You know who I saw 482 00:23:47,621 --> 00:23:50,022 taking out the garbage across the street last night? 483 00:23:50,024 --> 00:23:51,490 No. 484 00:23:51,492 --> 00:23:52,690 Zoe. 485 00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:54,760 Are you sure you weren't hallucinating? 486 00:23:54,762 --> 00:23:55,894 Positive. 487 00:23:55,896 --> 00:23:57,128 You sure? Because your room smells like 488 00:23:57,130 --> 00:23:58,530 the University of Vermont. 489 00:23:58,532 --> 00:24:00,098 Could've been a pot high. 490 00:24:00,100 --> 00:24:02,434 I wasn't. It was her. 491 00:24:02,436 --> 00:24:06,538 Well, we all know who reigned victorious in that case. 492 00:24:06,540 --> 00:24:07,742 Right? 493 00:24:09,309 --> 00:24:11,109 Who potted that plant? 494 00:24:11,111 --> 00:24:12,176 Okay, Jake. 495 00:24:12,178 --> 00:24:13,344 Who mined that field, baby? 496 00:24:13,346 --> 00:24:14,745 You win. You're the man. 497 00:24:14,747 --> 00:24:16,715 And who's shirt did she throw up on? 498 00:24:16,717 --> 00:24:20,418 Yeah, that was funny 10 years ago. Thanks. 499 00:24:20,420 --> 00:24:22,654 - Hey, Sam! - What? 500 00:24:22,656 --> 00:24:24,321 I need you to look through the basement 501 00:24:24,323 --> 00:24:25,890 and get some of my old stuff. 502 00:24:25,892 --> 00:24:28,193 I can't keep wearing the same two shirts every day. 503 00:24:28,195 --> 00:24:31,295 I don't think you're gonna want any of this shit down here. 504 00:24:31,297 --> 00:24:35,266 Don't make that decision for me. 505 00:24:35,268 --> 00:24:38,102 Take a little longer. 506 00:24:38,104 --> 00:24:40,805 Are you masturbating? 507 00:24:40,807 --> 00:24:42,607 Did you hang yourself? 508 00:24:42,609 --> 00:24:44,842 You hung yourself while masturbating, didn't you? 509 00:24:44,844 --> 00:24:48,647 Oh, you are not gonna believe what I just found. 510 00:24:48,649 --> 00:24:49,714 Does your guy have glasses? 511 00:24:49,716 --> 00:24:51,515 I'll answer gender-neutrally 512 00:24:51,517 --> 00:24:53,318 that my person does not wear glasses. 513 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,119 - Stop trying to cheat. - It's not cheating. 514 00:24:55,121 --> 00:24:56,353 It's strategy. 515 00:24:56,355 --> 00:24:58,055 Does your person have brown hair? 516 00:24:58,057 --> 00:25:00,724 No. Does your girl have brown hair? 517 00:25:00,726 --> 00:25:04,061 My person does not have brown hair. 518 00:25:04,063 --> 00:25:06,263 This used to be a lot more fun when I could cheat your ass out 519 00:25:06,265 --> 00:25:07,432 in two moves. 520 00:25:07,434 --> 00:25:09,734 I know. It must suck. 521 00:25:09,736 --> 00:25:12,637 Yeah. When's my dad coming back? 522 00:25:12,639 --> 00:25:14,004 Three weeks. 523 00:25:14,006 --> 00:25:17,109 I asked Lily if I could be out of here before then. 524 00:25:17,111 --> 00:25:19,677 She said maybe. 525 00:25:19,679 --> 00:25:22,013 Does your person have wrinkles on their face? Why? 526 00:25:22,015 --> 00:25:25,117 No. She wants me to get up and walk around first. 527 00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,017 Does your guy have brown eyes? 528 00:25:27,019 --> 00:25:28,887 Yeah. 529 00:25:28,889 --> 00:25:31,689 Oh. Damn it! 530 00:25:31,691 --> 00:25:33,692 Why do you want to leave before your dad comes back? 531 00:25:33,694 --> 00:25:35,827 I barely wanted to be here for the wedding. 532 00:25:35,829 --> 00:25:38,730 I'm all set with seeing my father. 533 00:25:38,732 --> 00:25:41,233 Is your person Wendell McAdams? 534 00:25:41,235 --> 00:25:42,837 Yes. 535 00:25:44,204 --> 00:25:46,003 I win. 536 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,045 Yeah, hey, Mom. 537 00:25:55,047 --> 00:25:57,081 Yeah, I'm fine. 538 00:25:57,083 --> 00:25:58,817 It's okay. 539 00:25:58,819 --> 00:26:01,355 I feel like I'm back in fucking high school again. 540 00:26:03,857 --> 00:26:06,558 Yeah, Mom, he's moving around a lot better than before. 541 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,093 He was supposed to out of the wheelchair this week. 542 00:26:09,095 --> 00:26:10,762 I guess he's just not ready. 543 00:26:10,764 --> 00:26:14,465 No, Mom, you can't afford to give me money, okay? 544 00:26:14,467 --> 00:26:16,667 The plan is to make the food money last, 545 00:26:16,669 --> 00:26:18,936 and then I'm gonna give you whatever's left over. 546 00:26:18,938 --> 00:26:21,907 Yeah, Mom, it's just a lot of bullshit, 547 00:26:21,909 --> 00:26:23,841 like he can't t even make it through physical therapy 548 00:26:23,843 --> 00:26:26,711 without saying something disgusting to his therapist. 549 00:26:26,713 --> 00:26:29,781 You know how easily we can turn this into a sex swing? 550 00:26:29,783 --> 00:26:31,782 Nah, it's not that bad. It's a lot of sitting around. 551 00:26:31,784 --> 00:26:34,654 I mean, the guy's on Vicodin almost all the time. 552 00:26:35,988 --> 00:26:37,188 Whoa! Shit my pants! 553 00:26:37,190 --> 00:26:39,693 Shit my pants, shit my pants. 554 00:26:42,196 --> 00:26:43,828 No, I can't leave him alone. 555 00:26:43,830 --> 00:26:46,497 He might break his neck or something. 556 00:26:46,499 --> 00:26:49,033 Mom, Mom, I gotta go. 557 00:26:49,035 --> 00:26:51,936 That was the doorbell. Jake might have woken up, too. 558 00:26:51,938 --> 00:26:53,774 All right, bye. 559 00:27:00,581 --> 00:27:03,982 Oh, shit. Do I have the wrong house? 560 00:27:03,984 --> 00:27:07,185 I don't know. Who are you looking for? 561 00:27:07,187 --> 00:27:08,587 Jake Kitner. 562 00:27:08,589 --> 00:27:11,388 Yeah, he's upstairs. 563 00:27:11,390 --> 00:27:14,259 Might still be sleeping, though. 564 00:27:14,261 --> 00:27:16,293 It's 10 a.m. 565 00:27:16,295 --> 00:27:18,230 Yeah, you think with all those broken bones, 566 00:27:18,232 --> 00:27:19,430 he'd get his ass up. 567 00:27:19,432 --> 00:27:21,832 Um, can you wake him up for me? 568 00:27:21,834 --> 00:27:23,267 I'm his girlfriend. 569 00:27:23,269 --> 00:27:26,473 Who'd have thunk it? He hasn't mentioned you once. 570 00:27:28,976 --> 00:27:31,212 - What? - Julie's here. 571 00:27:33,479 --> 00:27:35,280 - Give us some privacy. - No. 572 00:27:35,282 --> 00:27:37,849 I'm gonna sit in the corner and keep record of everything said. 573 00:27:37,851 --> 00:27:40,784 No, seriously, go outside and take a walk or something. 574 00:27:40,786 --> 00:27:42,286 Why? 575 00:27:42,288 --> 00:27:44,054 I can hear almost everything in this house. 576 00:27:44,056 --> 00:27:46,524 No, you can't. 577 00:27:45,559 --> 00:27:49,197 I can hear you cry yourself to sleep every night. 578 00:27:59,672 --> 00:28:02,607 You can go upstairs. He's awake. 579 00:28:02,609 --> 00:28:05,176 - He's not coming down? - Nope. 580 00:28:05,178 --> 00:28:08,683 Why don't you go upstairs and give him a hard time about it? 581 00:28:16,890 --> 00:28:18,990 Who's there? 582 00:28:18,992 --> 00:28:21,859 Jake, baby, it's me. 583 00:28:21,861 --> 00:28:22,994 Julie? 584 00:28:22,996 --> 00:28:25,996 Jesus, you're a mess. 585 00:28:31,971 --> 00:28:33,707 Hey. 586 00:28:36,743 --> 00:28:38,275 What's going on? 587 00:28:38,277 --> 00:28:40,078 Hey, what's up? I'm Jeremy. 588 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,680 Hey, Jeremy. Want a hit? 589 00:28:42,682 --> 00:28:45,550 Uh, no, no. 590 00:28:45,552 --> 00:28:48,086 You, uh, you friends with Julie? 591 00:28:48,088 --> 00:28:51,990 Yeah, yeah. I'm just along for the ride. 592 00:28:51,992 --> 00:28:53,692 Boyfriend. 593 00:28:53,694 --> 00:28:57,728 Yeah, she's up there talking to Jake. 594 00:28:57,730 --> 00:29:00,031 That a Cathode Corner Nixie watch? 595 00:29:00,033 --> 00:29:03,734 Yes! You know about these? 596 00:29:03,736 --> 00:29:06,471 - I know everything about those. - Oh, my God. 597 00:29:06,473 --> 00:29:08,106 - Sam, right? - Yeah. 598 00:29:08,108 --> 00:29:09,907 - Jeremy. - Yeah. 599 00:29:09,909 --> 00:29:13,410 What took you so long to get here? 600 00:29:13,412 --> 00:29:19,283 I've been a little busy. 601 00:29:19,285 --> 00:29:20,952 I almost died. 602 00:29:20,954 --> 00:29:22,387 And you didn't. 603 00:29:22,389 --> 00:29:24,988 That's the most important thing. 604 00:29:24,990 --> 00:29:26,690 And I shouldn't look bad 605 00:29:26,692 --> 00:29:29,793 because it's not like you weren't gonna get better. 606 00:29:29,795 --> 00:29:31,428 What? 607 00:29:31,430 --> 00:29:36,501 This just couldn't have come at a worse time. 608 00:29:36,503 --> 00:29:38,168 For who? 609 00:29:38,170 --> 00:29:41,638 For me, for us. 610 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:47,745 When would have been a better time for this to happen for you? 611 00:29:47,747 --> 00:29:50,348 Jake's been here for almost a whole week though, 612 00:29:50,350 --> 00:29:52,216 and she was supposed to come on like day two or something. 613 00:29:52,218 --> 00:29:53,618 She's been busy. I mean, I've been busy. 614 00:29:53,620 --> 00:29:56,454 I know, but she should really be there for him. 615 00:29:56,456 --> 00:29:58,956 She's here now. I mean, she's a good friend. 616 00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:00,358 No, no doubt. 617 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,494 I mean, I wouldn't drag you to Jersey. 618 00:30:03,496 --> 00:30:06,296 But I guess otherwise she's pretty cool. 619 00:30:06,298 --> 00:30:09,533 Jake's just always had garbage taste in women. 620 00:30:09,535 --> 00:30:11,202 No, "taste" is the wrong way to say it. 621 00:30:11,204 --> 00:30:13,937 It implies some sort of discerning view. 622 00:30:13,939 --> 00:30:17,975 He'll go for anything with a vague interest. 623 00:30:17,977 --> 00:30:21,478 I guess shitty women just flock to him. I don't know. 624 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,048 Yeah, that's the right way to put it. 625 00:30:24,050 --> 00:30:27,819 Okay, I'm just gonna need you to be a little more understanding. 626 00:30:27,821 --> 00:30:31,688 I'm just gonna need you to meet me halfway here, Jake. 627 00:30:31,690 --> 00:30:34,125 I'm sorry. 628 00:30:34,127 --> 00:30:37,128 - Really? - I've been alone all week. 629 00:30:37,130 --> 00:30:39,397 There's nothing familiar around me. 630 00:30:39,399 --> 00:30:43,033 I just feel kicked around, you know? 631 00:30:43,035 --> 00:30:45,403 - But this is my fault. - What? 632 00:30:45,405 --> 00:30:50,707 You were on the phone with me, and you crashed. 633 00:30:50,709 --> 00:30:55,146 It's your subconscious saying that we shouldn't be together. 634 00:30:55,148 --> 00:30:58,017 Julie, I want to be with you now more than ever. 635 00:31:00,152 --> 00:31:02,456 I have to go to the bathroom. 636 00:31:03,756 --> 00:31:06,025 Second door on your left. 637 00:31:09,896 --> 00:31:11,763 Oh, shit. Get out of the car, get out of the car. 638 00:31:16,035 --> 00:31:18,205 Hey, baby, how you doing? 639 00:31:19,505 --> 00:31:22,676 Bye, Jeremy! Bye, Julie! 640 00:31:28,582 --> 00:31:30,814 Hey, do me a favor and check on Julie. 641 00:31:30,816 --> 00:31:31,949 She went to the bathroom. 642 00:31:31,951 --> 00:31:33,751 She left. 643 00:31:33,753 --> 00:31:35,419 She did? 644 00:31:35,421 --> 00:31:37,288 Yeah, with her new boyfriend. 645 00:31:37,290 --> 00:31:40,724 I didn't know it was her new guy, 646 00:31:40,726 --> 00:31:42,329 not until they left. 647 00:31:45,465 --> 00:31:48,366 I think I wanna go outside, 648 00:31:48,368 --> 00:31:51,472 go for a walk or something. 649 00:31:52,538 --> 00:31:54,571 For a walk? 650 00:32:05,351 --> 00:32:07,551 What goes around, rolls around. 651 00:32:07,553 --> 00:32:10,053 That was... That was really something, Marky. 652 00:32:10,055 --> 00:32:12,090 - What's up, Sam? - Nothing much. 653 00:32:12,092 --> 00:32:14,458 You gonna take out the garbage? 654 00:32:15,861 --> 00:32:18,897 Hey, Marky, you're gonna die cleaning a booth. 655 00:32:18,899 --> 00:32:21,032 You know who's gonna be there to find the body? 656 00:32:21,034 --> 00:32:22,166 Who? 657 00:32:22,168 --> 00:32:24,836 No one. You're gonna die alone. 658 00:32:26,206 --> 00:32:28,205 Real funny, Jake. 659 00:32:28,207 --> 00:32:29,974 Heed my warnings, Marky. 660 00:32:29,976 --> 00:32:32,045 Heed them. 661 00:32:34,046 --> 00:32:35,346 I'm gonna get a milkshake. 662 00:32:35,348 --> 00:32:37,282 Lily said stay away from heavy dairy. 663 00:32:37,284 --> 00:32:39,016 One milkshake's not gonna kill me. 664 00:32:39,018 --> 00:32:41,218 Jacob Shitner. 665 00:32:41,220 --> 00:32:43,588 Sara Michaels. 666 00:32:43,590 --> 00:32:45,188 I could punch you in the face right now, 667 00:32:45,190 --> 00:32:47,125 and no one would say I was out of line. 668 00:32:47,127 --> 00:32:48,292 How's that? 669 00:32:48,294 --> 00:32:49,860 Hey, Sam. How are you? 670 00:32:49,862 --> 00:32:51,361 Been better, been worse. 671 00:32:51,363 --> 00:32:52,664 Why could you punch him? 672 00:32:52,666 --> 00:32:54,965 Uh, let's see. I was gonna go to L.A. 673 00:32:54,967 --> 00:32:56,935 take a vacation, see some friends, 674 00:32:56,937 --> 00:32:59,070 maybe see our friend Jake here. 675 00:32:59,072 --> 00:33:00,737 He said, "Come on by, stay with me. 676 00:33:00,739 --> 00:33:03,174 We'll have a different dinner every night of the week." 677 00:33:03,176 --> 00:33:04,876 Which was very nice of me to offer, by the way. 678 00:33:04,878 --> 00:33:07,579 Yes, and exceedingly nice of me to take him up on it. 679 00:33:07,581 --> 00:33:08,780 What happened? 680 00:33:08,782 --> 00:33:10,747 Well, I clear my schedule, 681 00:33:10,749 --> 00:33:12,684 tell all my friends my dates, 682 00:33:12,686 --> 00:33:14,185 and then I get to LAX, 683 00:33:14,187 --> 00:33:18,188 and his phone goes to voicemail all week. 684 00:33:18,190 --> 00:33:19,724 I apologized. Profusely. 685 00:33:19,726 --> 00:33:22,260 Yes, he did. He apologized up and down, 686 00:33:22,262 --> 00:33:24,762 and he finally invited me to a very nice lunch date 687 00:33:24,764 --> 00:33:28,002 two hours before I was going to leave L.A. 688 00:33:30,903 --> 00:33:32,637 The apology still counts. 689 00:33:32,639 --> 00:33:34,539 In some cultures, maybe. 690 00:33:34,541 --> 00:33:36,174 Did you have a good time, otherwise? 691 00:33:36,176 --> 00:33:38,810 Yes, of course. See, if I've learned one thing 692 00:33:38,812 --> 00:33:41,946 from being in close proximity to Jake in high school, 693 00:33:41,948 --> 00:33:43,348 it's to have a backup plan 694 00:33:43,350 --> 00:33:46,016 because that is usually more reliable. 695 00:33:46,018 --> 00:33:47,651 Yeah, that's a good one. 696 00:33:47,653 --> 00:33:50,189 Well, I'll let you two peruse the menu. 697 00:33:51,457 --> 00:33:53,127 I'd like a milkshake. 698 00:33:54,393 --> 00:33:56,694 - She's sharp. - She got fat. 699 00:33:56,696 --> 00:33:58,629 - What? - She got fat. 700 00:33:58,631 --> 00:34:00,898 Maybe she's just bloated or something. 701 00:34:00,900 --> 00:34:02,199 You're nuts. 702 00:34:02,201 --> 00:34:04,369 I'm just telling you how I see it. 703 00:34:04,371 --> 00:34:05,836 You know that thing about anorexic girls 704 00:34:05,838 --> 00:34:07,972 where they can't tell just how skinny they are? 705 00:34:07,974 --> 00:34:09,941 Yeah, let me guess. I have that problem with women. 706 00:34:09,943 --> 00:34:14,345 No. You're the asshole that causes that shit to happen. 707 00:34:14,347 --> 00:34:17,215 I'm definitely not the first person to think that way. 708 00:34:17,217 --> 00:34:20,617 Sara's nice and smart, so please tell me. 709 00:34:20,619 --> 00:34:22,220 Why did you treat her like crap? 710 00:34:22,222 --> 00:34:24,856 I didn't treat her like crap, okay? 711 00:34:24,858 --> 00:34:26,858 And besides, who comes up to a table like that 712 00:34:26,860 --> 00:34:29,593 and just tells a nasty story? Who does that? 713 00:34:29,595 --> 00:34:31,129 Sounded like she was pretty upset. 714 00:34:31,131 --> 00:34:32,329 What does she have to upset about? 715 00:34:32,331 --> 00:34:33,865 She said she had a good time. 716 00:34:33,867 --> 00:34:35,436 You could say you're sorry. 717 00:35:00,593 --> 00:35:01,725 I think I just saw Zoe. 718 00:35:01,727 --> 00:35:03,928 She was taking out the garbage. 719 00:35:03,930 --> 00:35:05,062 Yeah, right. 720 00:35:05,064 --> 00:35:06,229 I swear. 721 00:35:06,231 --> 00:35:07,865 You're wrong. 722 00:35:07,867 --> 00:35:09,669 I saw what I saw. 723 00:35:11,003 --> 00:35:12,637 Hey, Sling Blade. 724 00:35:12,639 --> 00:35:14,541 Come here. 725 00:35:16,242 --> 00:35:18,008 Does Zoe Mayer work here? 726 00:35:18,010 --> 00:35:19,977 Yeah. She works in the kitchen. 727 00:35:19,979 --> 00:35:21,211 Are you serious? 728 00:35:21,213 --> 00:35:22,780 Totally. She's great. 729 00:35:22,782 --> 00:35:24,749 Most chicks, they don't like taking out garbage 730 00:35:24,751 --> 00:35:26,517 and cleaning dishes and shit. 731 00:35:26,519 --> 00:35:30,787 You know how many used tampons we find on old plates of food? 732 00:35:30,789 --> 00:35:32,356 Why does she work here? 733 00:35:32,358 --> 00:35:34,225 She lost her job and her dad died. 734 00:35:34,227 --> 00:35:35,325 Whole bunch of shit. 735 00:35:35,327 --> 00:35:36,961 She moved home a few weeks ago. 736 00:35:36,963 --> 00:35:38,963 Tough shit, this economy. 737 00:35:38,965 --> 00:35:41,432 Wonderful platitude, Marky. 738 00:35:41,434 --> 00:35:43,336 Ehh. 739 00:35:45,572 --> 00:35:49,673 Hey, you should go talk to her, dummy. 740 00:35:49,675 --> 00:35:51,309 Seriously. 741 00:35:51,311 --> 00:35:54,312 March in there, rip her bloody apron off, 742 00:35:54,314 --> 00:35:57,251 and burn her ass on the deep fryer. 743 00:36:02,789 --> 00:36:04,187 Why do you live in New Jersey? 744 00:36:04,189 --> 00:36:05,856 Why can't you raise your arm any higher? 745 00:36:05,858 --> 00:36:08,126 No, seriously, I think you'd make more money elsewhere. 746 00:36:08,128 --> 00:36:10,394 My partner lives here. 747 00:36:10,396 --> 00:36:11,963 Yeah, but you shouldn't be unhappy for someone else. 748 00:36:11,965 --> 00:36:13,430 I live in L.A. and... 749 00:36:13,432 --> 00:36:16,233 Jake, you live in a dream world. Come on. Arm higher. 750 00:36:16,235 --> 00:36:17,568 - I can't. - Try harder. 751 00:36:17,570 --> 00:36:20,437 I know you can try harder than this. 752 00:36:20,439 --> 00:36:22,740 I'm gonna break my own shoulder, let it set for two days 753 00:36:22,742 --> 00:36:25,075 and show you that you can raise your arm higher than this. 754 00:36:25,077 --> 00:36:27,644 That'd be silly. 755 00:36:27,646 --> 00:36:28,915 Come on. 756 00:36:29,916 --> 00:36:31,582 Good. Good! 757 00:36:31,584 --> 00:36:33,383 - You want some water? - Yeah. 758 00:36:33,385 --> 00:36:34,554 Okay. 759 00:36:39,892 --> 00:36:41,028 Good. 760 00:36:42,729 --> 00:36:45,428 - You know, you're very lucky. - How's that? 761 00:36:45,430 --> 00:36:47,365 Do you know how hard it is to get someone to help you move? 762 00:36:47,367 --> 00:36:49,767 You got someone here with you for a over month, 763 00:36:49,769 --> 00:36:51,434 taking care of you. 764 00:36:51,436 --> 00:36:52,672 That's friendship. 765 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:55,773 I guess. 766 00:36:55,775 --> 00:36:57,809 Tell me what it is then. 767 00:36:57,811 --> 00:36:59,343 I don't know. 768 00:36:59,345 --> 00:37:03,648 Well, despite your best efforts, that kid's your friend. 769 00:37:11,256 --> 00:37:13,390 Thank you very much. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 770 00:37:13,392 --> 00:37:15,693 Welcome once again to "Beat the Clock." 771 00:37:15,695 --> 00:37:16,961 What are we doing tonight? 772 00:37:16,963 --> 00:37:18,662 I don't know. 773 00:37:18,664 --> 00:37:22,867 I'm gonna go upstairs and maybe finish this book. 774 00:37:22,869 --> 00:37:25,570 Or maybe blow my brains out after you fall asleep. 775 00:37:25,572 --> 00:37:27,640 Why didn't you ever go on Jeopardy!? 776 00:37:29,108 --> 00:37:30,975 Why would I go on Jeopardy!? 777 00:37:30,977 --> 00:37:32,242 You aced the SATs. 778 00:37:32,244 --> 00:37:34,010 The SATs aren't like Trivial Pursuit. 779 00:37:34,012 --> 00:37:35,646 Did you take the SATs? 780 00:37:35,648 --> 00:37:38,115 Yeah, and I finished college, which puts me one up on you. 781 00:37:38,117 --> 00:37:40,885 It doesn't just have to be Jeopardy! It could be any show. 782 00:37:40,887 --> 00:37:42,320 Any question show. 783 00:37:42,322 --> 00:37:43,820 Who's Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? 784 00:37:43,822 --> 00:37:45,289 I bet you're at least that. 785 00:37:45,291 --> 00:37:48,291 We can make a lot of money, Sam, seriously. 786 00:37:48,293 --> 00:37:50,126 I'll represent you. 787 00:37:50,128 --> 00:37:53,164 I'll be your agent. And you know what? 788 00:37:53,166 --> 00:37:54,966 If you act retarded in real life, 789 00:37:54,968 --> 00:37:57,367 it'll be even more surprising when you win. 790 00:37:57,369 --> 00:37:59,637 We'll make even more money. Whole roadshow. 791 00:37:59,639 --> 00:38:01,204 You see what you're doing right now? 792 00:38:01,206 --> 00:38:03,207 - What am I doing? - You're trying... 793 00:38:03,209 --> 00:38:05,008 or at least I think you're trying... 794 00:38:05,010 --> 00:38:06,676 to help me out, 795 00:38:06,678 --> 00:38:10,814 but you just end up being an asshole and belittling me. 796 00:38:10,816 --> 00:38:12,249 I am not. 797 00:38:12,251 --> 00:38:13,783 That's exactly what you're doing, 798 00:38:13,785 --> 00:38:15,119 and you do it all the time. 799 00:38:15,121 --> 00:38:17,088 I don't know that that's true. 800 00:38:17,090 --> 00:38:20,457 I think you're happier 801 00:38:20,459 --> 00:38:22,727 with people in your life being bullet points. 802 00:38:22,729 --> 00:38:27,298 You know line items about me, but nothing more. 803 00:38:27,300 --> 00:38:28,733 And none of it applies 804 00:38:28,735 --> 00:38:31,468 to the last six or seven years of my life. 805 00:38:31,470 --> 00:38:33,506 Not true at all. 806 00:38:39,479 --> 00:38:40,811 Okay. 807 00:38:40,813 --> 00:38:42,379 Am I virgin? 808 00:38:42,381 --> 00:38:44,215 - Totally. - I'm not. 809 00:38:44,217 --> 00:38:46,350 - You carry yourself like one. - Well, I'm not. 810 00:38:46,352 --> 00:38:48,119 So you had sex with a prostitute. 811 00:38:48,121 --> 00:38:51,354 I dated a girl for three years, Jake. 812 00:38:51,356 --> 00:38:53,323 So you dated a prostitute for three years. 813 00:38:53,325 --> 00:38:54,892 She wasn't a prostitute. 814 00:38:54,894 --> 00:38:55,992 - Stripper? - No. 815 00:38:55,994 --> 00:38:57,327 - Sexually abused? - No. 816 00:38:57,329 --> 00:38:59,062 - Down on her luck? - She was a normal girl. 817 00:38:59,064 --> 00:39:00,631 She was in our class. 818 00:39:00,633 --> 00:39:01,564 Bullshit. 819 00:39:01,566 --> 00:39:03,533 Lisa Martinez. 820 00:39:03,535 --> 00:39:05,338 Oh! Bullshit. 821 00:39:06,506 --> 00:39:08,738 Three years, you piece of shit. 822 00:39:08,740 --> 00:39:10,474 Yeah? What happened? 823 00:39:10,476 --> 00:39:13,412 She wasn't very nice to me. 824 00:39:14,646 --> 00:39:16,881 I don't know what to say to you right now. 825 00:39:16,883 --> 00:39:18,249 Why? 826 00:39:18,251 --> 00:39:20,318 She wasn't nice to you? 827 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,653 She was manipulative and a liar 828 00:39:23,655 --> 00:39:28,158 and played games and was just really uncaring. 829 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:31,195 That sucks. 830 00:39:31,197 --> 00:39:33,229 That's where you gotta hit her back, man. 831 00:39:33,231 --> 00:39:35,198 Establish some fuckin' power. 832 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,269 Or just be in a relationship where those games don't happen. 833 00:39:38,271 --> 00:39:40,838 Doesn't exist. Gotta understand that, you know? 834 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,573 Can't let one bad egg ruin the pantry. 835 00:39:43,575 --> 00:39:46,213 You gotta get your heart broken again. Get out there. 836 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,146 What are you looking at, Jimmy Stewart? 837 00:39:50,148 --> 00:39:54,320 Nothing. I think I see Zoe walking her dog. 838 00:40:01,927 --> 00:40:03,426 - Sam? - Zoe. 839 00:40:03,428 --> 00:40:06,463 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God. 840 00:40:06,465 --> 00:40:08,332 I didn't know you lived in Jersey. 841 00:40:08,334 --> 00:40:10,501 Yeah. Never left. 842 00:40:10,503 --> 00:40:11,568 Really? 843 00:40:11,570 --> 00:40:13,937 Yeah. I mean, I did for a second. 844 00:40:13,939 --> 00:40:16,307 About 20 minutes out of town. 845 00:40:16,309 --> 00:40:18,341 - Wow. - Yeah. 846 00:40:18,343 --> 00:40:22,312 I don't have a license, so it's tough. 847 00:40:22,314 --> 00:40:25,548 Um, are you taking care of Jake? 848 00:40:25,550 --> 00:40:26,649 Yeah. 849 00:40:26,651 --> 00:40:28,251 Why? 850 00:40:28,253 --> 00:40:30,086 His dad asked me to. 851 00:40:30,088 --> 00:40:33,289 It should take a lot more than his dad asking you to. 852 00:40:34,860 --> 00:40:37,294 Hey, Harold. 853 00:40:37,296 --> 00:40:39,396 What's shaking? 854 00:40:39,398 --> 00:40:41,798 - You remember his name? - Of course. 855 00:40:44,936 --> 00:40:47,437 You want some company? 856 00:40:47,439 --> 00:40:48,738 Sure. 857 00:40:48,740 --> 00:40:50,508 Cool. 858 00:40:51,510 --> 00:40:54,412 You see anybody from high school? 859 00:40:54,414 --> 00:40:57,847 Once in a while, around town. 860 00:40:57,849 --> 00:40:59,582 You? 861 00:40:59,584 --> 00:41:01,651 The ones who live in the city, sure, 862 00:41:01,653 --> 00:41:03,521 but not that much. 863 00:41:03,523 --> 00:41:06,490 High school wasn't the best time for me. 864 00:41:06,492 --> 00:41:09,292 Yeah, anybody could have told you that. 865 00:41:09,294 --> 00:41:12,296 Jake's a pretty shitty guy. 866 00:41:12,298 --> 00:41:14,131 Especially to you. 867 00:41:14,133 --> 00:41:16,533 I guess. 868 00:41:16,535 --> 00:41:20,171 Anyway, I grew up across the street from him. 869 00:41:20,173 --> 00:41:22,372 You know what he did on my tenth birthday? 870 00:41:22,374 --> 00:41:23,640 No. 871 00:41:23,642 --> 00:41:24,774 He gave me a card. 872 00:41:24,776 --> 00:41:30,013 It said, "Happy Birthday. I hate you." 873 00:41:30,015 --> 00:41:32,283 Ohh! That sucks! 874 00:41:32,285 --> 00:41:33,751 I know! It sucks huge. 875 00:41:33,753 --> 00:41:36,486 I was ten. I didn't know what a sociopath he was. 876 00:41:36,488 --> 00:41:39,523 I thought he actually hated me. 877 00:41:39,525 --> 00:41:44,160 I remember that knocked me out. Ten years old. 878 00:41:44,162 --> 00:41:47,430 Yeah, that's pretty bad. I'm sorry he did that to you. 879 00:41:47,432 --> 00:41:51,103 It was a long time ago. Feels pretty small now. 880 00:41:53,905 --> 00:41:57,675 How'd it go? You fingerblast her brains out? 881 00:41:57,677 --> 00:42:01,211 No. It was fine. We just caught up. 882 00:42:01,213 --> 00:42:02,912 I catch up with my cousins. 883 00:42:02,914 --> 00:42:06,015 - Are you gonna see her again? - I don't know. 884 00:42:06,017 --> 00:42:08,051 Did you ask her? 885 00:42:08,053 --> 00:42:10,120 I didn't. I live here, Jake. 886 00:42:10,122 --> 00:42:12,122 I got all the time in the world. 887 00:42:12,124 --> 00:42:13,591 What?! 888 00:42:13,593 --> 00:42:15,459 You know what? 889 00:42:15,461 --> 00:42:18,329 I like her just as much I did when we were in high school. 890 00:42:18,331 --> 00:42:21,398 It was easy talking to her. 891 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,267 And in a week and a half, 892 00:42:23,269 --> 00:42:25,035 you're gonna be on a plane back to L.A., 893 00:42:25,037 --> 00:42:27,370 and I can do whatever I want, right? 894 00:42:27,372 --> 00:42:29,240 You're not gonna do anything. 895 00:42:29,242 --> 00:42:30,374 That's not true. 896 00:42:30,376 --> 00:42:31,675 This is a perfect time. 897 00:42:31,677 --> 00:42:34,111 She's vulnerable, she's hurt. 898 00:42:34,113 --> 00:42:36,312 Am I right? 899 00:42:36,314 --> 00:42:38,349 She's in a bad way, sure. 900 00:42:38,351 --> 00:42:40,416 So manipulate that shit. 901 00:42:40,418 --> 00:42:43,287 If it's because I've already plowed that pasture, 902 00:42:43,289 --> 00:42:45,890 I give you my permission. 903 00:42:45,892 --> 00:42:50,461 My loose, flaccid permission. 904 00:42:50,463 --> 00:42:52,332 Thank you. 905 00:43:01,506 --> 00:43:02,842 Sam! 906 00:43:04,410 --> 00:43:05,776 Hey, Jake, what's up? 907 00:43:05,778 --> 00:43:08,211 I'm hungry. 908 00:43:08,213 --> 00:43:12,115 And I smell like shit. What are you doing? 909 00:43:12,117 --> 00:43:13,584 Zoe was walking Harold. I was up... 910 00:43:13,586 --> 00:43:16,120 Waiting for Zoe to walk Harold. Yeah, I know. 911 00:43:16,122 --> 00:43:18,088 What the hell, Jake? 912 00:43:18,090 --> 00:43:19,990 She's gonna find out you're a creep at some point. 913 00:43:19,992 --> 00:43:24,662 For once, please try to keep things to a low boil. 914 00:43:24,664 --> 00:43:27,330 What the fuck does that even mean? 915 00:43:27,332 --> 00:43:31,338 I'll feed you in 20 minutes. I promise. 916 00:43:38,644 --> 00:43:39,642 Hello? 917 00:43:39,644 --> 00:43:41,579 Jake! Boyo! 918 00:43:41,581 --> 00:43:42,912 Hey, Dad. 919 00:43:42,914 --> 00:43:45,448 Boyo, how do you feel? 920 00:43:45,450 --> 00:43:48,718 Okay. I'm getting better, I think. 921 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:50,988 Can I get a little refill on this one, please? 922 00:43:50,990 --> 00:43:52,789 Great! 923 00:43:52,791 --> 00:43:54,457 How's the honeymoon? 924 00:43:54,459 --> 00:43:56,593 Fantastic. Couldn't have come at a better time. 925 00:43:56,595 --> 00:43:59,796 - That's great. - Listen, is Sam around? 926 00:43:59,798 --> 00:44:02,399 - He's in the shower. - Oh, uh... 927 00:44:02,401 --> 00:44:04,734 Can you let him know... Listen, I fudged the dates. 928 00:44:04,736 --> 00:44:08,037 Yeah, we were gonna be back two days later than I told him. 929 00:44:08,039 --> 00:44:10,640 - Sure. - Now, uh... 930 00:44:10,642 --> 00:44:13,711 if you could just offer him an extra 50 bucks 931 00:44:13,713 --> 00:44:16,946 on top of the 500 I owe him for the extra days. 932 00:44:16,948 --> 00:44:18,782 No, wait. No, no, listen. 933 00:44:18,784 --> 00:44:22,151 Don't offer him anything unless he looks really upset. 934 00:44:22,153 --> 00:44:24,655 Even if he is, let's start at 50, 935 00:44:24,657 --> 00:44:26,356 but don't go higher than 75. 936 00:44:26,358 --> 00:44:27,758 No, don't go higher than 100. 937 00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,461 - Yeah. - Okay! That's my boy! 938 00:44:30,463 --> 00:44:31,894 Now, listen, you have a good time. 939 00:44:31,896 --> 00:44:35,201 Don't have too much fun and no part... 940 00:44:40,039 --> 00:44:41,338 You got any money? 941 00:44:41,340 --> 00:44:43,106 I wanna get a paintball gun. 942 00:44:43,108 --> 00:44:45,742 Any money? No. 943 00:44:45,744 --> 00:44:48,646 You don't have any extra money lying around? 944 00:44:48,648 --> 00:44:51,881 Just the food money that your dad left. A paintball gun? 945 00:44:51,883 --> 00:44:54,984 Yeah. I think it'd be fun to just wheel around 946 00:44:54,986 --> 00:44:56,653 and shoot one off, you know? 947 00:44:56,655 --> 00:45:01,624 No. I mean, uh, if I had the money, yeah, sure. 948 00:45:01,626 --> 00:45:05,264 But I don't, so sorry, no paintball gun. 949 00:45:14,372 --> 00:45:17,508 Sam! Spilt my cereal! 950 00:45:17,510 --> 00:45:19,278 Are you serious? 951 00:45:23,249 --> 00:45:25,418 Unbelievable. 952 00:45:27,753 --> 00:45:28,751 - Oh! - Come on! 953 00:45:28,753 --> 00:45:30,053 Raspberries! 954 00:45:30,055 --> 00:45:32,492 You're crippled, not stupid. 955 00:45:34,492 --> 00:45:36,795 We're gonna need more paper towels, too. 956 00:45:49,041 --> 00:45:50,341 Zoe. 957 00:45:50,343 --> 00:45:53,510 Jake, what's up? 958 00:45:53,512 --> 00:45:56,613 Jesus, I didn't realize you were hurt that bad. 959 00:45:56,615 --> 00:46:00,983 Yeah. The car flipped over, threw me a good 30 yards. 960 00:46:00,985 --> 00:46:02,686 Really? 961 00:46:02,688 --> 00:46:04,722 Yeah, it was pretty bad. 962 00:46:04,724 --> 00:46:09,459 The doctors didn't even know if I'd... 963 00:46:09,461 --> 00:46:11,894 Not important. 964 00:46:11,896 --> 00:46:13,597 Are you gonna walk again? 965 00:46:13,599 --> 00:46:14,631 Think so. 966 00:46:14,633 --> 00:46:17,334 I hope so. 967 00:46:17,336 --> 00:46:21,805 Uh, well, it'll knock some sense into you. 968 00:46:21,807 --> 00:46:23,140 You would know. 969 00:46:23,142 --> 00:46:24,374 - What? - No, no, no. 970 00:46:24,376 --> 00:46:26,542 I didn't mean to be cruel. 971 00:46:26,544 --> 00:46:29,345 I just meant with everything that happened with your dad 972 00:46:29,347 --> 00:46:31,782 and your job. 973 00:46:31,784 --> 00:46:34,952 It was bad. Worse, even. 974 00:46:34,954 --> 00:46:36,553 Yeah. 975 00:46:36,555 --> 00:46:40,657 I'm really sorry, Zoe. Your dad was a great guy. 976 00:46:40,659 --> 00:46:43,162 It's okay. 977 00:46:44,896 --> 00:46:47,930 I'm gonna go inside. 978 00:46:47,932 --> 00:46:49,499 It was great seeing you. 979 00:46:49,501 --> 00:46:52,068 You just... You forget, you know? 980 00:46:52,070 --> 00:46:53,572 Sure. 981 00:46:55,407 --> 00:46:58,608 Zoe, can you do me a favor? 982 00:46:58,610 --> 00:47:01,211 Uh, sure. 983 00:47:01,213 --> 00:47:04,347 You know how Sam used to have a thing for you in high school? 984 00:47:04,349 --> 00:47:07,584 Um, yeah, I guess. 985 00:47:07,586 --> 00:47:09,986 Well, I've been using the accident 986 00:47:09,988 --> 00:47:14,091 as this opportunity to make things right with him, 987 00:47:14,093 --> 00:47:20,100 and I just know he'd think it was weird if he knew we talked. 988 00:47:20,566 --> 00:47:23,367 Uh, okay. 989 00:47:23,369 --> 00:47:26,669 Uh, I'm sorry. Okay, yeah, I understand. 990 00:47:26,671 --> 00:47:28,407 Thanks. 991 00:47:37,182 --> 00:47:40,517 To Catch a Predator is on. Wasn't your dad on that show? 992 00:47:40,519 --> 00:47:42,686 No. 993 00:47:42,688 --> 00:47:46,088 Hey, it's 10:00. You know where your kids are? 994 00:47:46,090 --> 00:47:47,890 In bed with Sam's dad. 995 00:47:47,892 --> 00:47:50,359 Wait, what time is it? 996 00:47:50,361 --> 00:47:52,695 Hey, it's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are? 997 00:47:52,697 --> 00:47:54,333 Gotta go! 998 00:48:10,182 --> 00:48:13,753 Sam, we need more toilet paper! 999 00:48:14,954 --> 00:48:16,856 And Drano! 1000 00:48:27,365 --> 00:48:28,798 Are you waiting for me? 1001 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:31,300 No. 1002 00:48:31,302 --> 00:48:32,571 I don't know. Maybe. 1003 00:48:34,273 --> 00:48:36,138 All right, come on, let's go. 1004 00:48:36,140 --> 00:48:37,474 What are we doing? 1005 00:48:37,476 --> 00:48:39,977 We're going for a walk. You're too pale. 1006 00:48:39,979 --> 00:48:41,848 Okay. 1007 00:48:43,448 --> 00:48:45,215 Where's your dad? 1008 00:48:45,217 --> 00:48:47,450 He went on his honeymoon with his new wife. 1009 00:48:47,452 --> 00:48:49,620 Oh, he's got his priorities in order. 1010 00:48:49,622 --> 00:48:54,127 Well, I'm not used to my dad not being an asshole. 1011 00:48:56,095 --> 00:48:58,128 Hey, Zoe? 1012 00:48:58,130 --> 00:48:59,432 Yeah? 1013 00:49:00,900 --> 00:49:04,100 When I apologized yesterday, 1014 00:49:04,102 --> 00:49:06,769 I was apologizing for everything. 1015 00:49:06,771 --> 00:49:08,638 What do you mean? 1016 00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:13,977 I mean, I know it's a cop-out to make a blanket apology, 1017 00:49:13,979 --> 00:49:16,280 but that's what this is. 1018 00:49:16,282 --> 00:49:17,851 I'm sorry. 1019 00:49:19,718 --> 00:49:22,818 It's cool. You prevented me from ever dating 1020 00:49:22,820 --> 00:49:28,425 anybody like you in college, so I owe you a thank-you. 1021 00:49:28,427 --> 00:49:32,762 Well, I hope I'm not like that anymore. 1022 00:49:32,764 --> 00:49:35,698 So tell me about your life in Manhattan. 1023 00:49:35,700 --> 00:49:38,334 - What do you wanna know? - Everything. 1024 00:49:38,336 --> 00:49:41,104 Your job, your apartment, your friends. 1025 00:49:41,106 --> 00:49:43,941 Just talk to me. 1026 00:49:43,943 --> 00:49:46,079 Okay. 1027 00:49:47,246 --> 00:49:51,013 Sam, you gotta do something about Zoe. 1028 00:49:51,015 --> 00:49:52,416 I don't know. 1029 00:49:52,418 --> 00:49:54,885 Stop being a little bitch and do something. 1030 00:49:54,887 --> 00:49:56,486 What is your problem? 1031 00:49:56,488 --> 00:50:00,856 Stop being a bitch and letting people walk all over you. 1032 00:50:00,858 --> 00:50:02,327 Good call. 1033 00:50:08,499 --> 00:50:13,202 So are you seeing anyone in Manhattan? 1034 00:50:13,204 --> 00:50:15,104 Right now? 1035 00:50:15,106 --> 00:50:19,376 Now or before, I guess. 1036 00:50:19,378 --> 00:50:21,381 Whatever answer you have. 1037 00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:24,316 Not really. 1038 00:50:28,354 --> 00:50:30,689 I don't know why I said not really. 1039 00:50:32,925 --> 00:50:34,861 I meant no. 1040 00:50:36,461 --> 00:50:39,428 What are you doing tomorrow night? 1041 00:50:39,430 --> 00:50:41,198 Nothing. 1042 00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,966 You're not working? 1043 00:50:43,968 --> 00:50:45,434 No. Why? 1044 00:50:45,436 --> 00:50:48,771 Uh, I don't know. 1045 00:50:48,773 --> 00:50:50,573 Seriously. Why? 1046 00:50:50,575 --> 00:50:54,613 I'm just curious. No reason. 1047 00:51:05,890 --> 00:51:09,892 Wake up. I need more pills. 1048 00:51:09,894 --> 00:51:11,428 Fill the prescription. 1049 00:51:11,430 --> 00:51:12,695 Now. 1050 00:51:12,697 --> 00:51:14,232 Okay. 1051 00:51:19,671 --> 00:51:23,939 So did Sam talk to you about you? 1052 00:51:23,941 --> 00:51:26,612 - What? - Nothing. 1053 00:51:28,414 --> 00:51:30,747 - You know what'd be nice? - What's that? 1054 00:51:30,749 --> 00:51:32,416 Me cooking you dinner. 1055 00:51:32,418 --> 00:51:34,984 What? 1056 00:51:34,986 --> 00:51:38,722 I've liked seeing you. It's been great. 1057 00:51:38,724 --> 00:51:42,191 It's nice to know that people can change. 1058 00:51:42,193 --> 00:51:44,428 It sounds like naive, but... 1059 00:51:44,430 --> 00:51:48,765 you hope that it could happen, 1060 00:51:48,767 --> 00:51:51,401 think it might happen. 1061 00:51:51,403 --> 00:51:54,570 As glad as I am you've turned over this new leaf, 1062 00:51:54,572 --> 00:51:56,238 you're not cooking me dinner. 1063 00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:58,841 - Why not? - Jake... 1064 00:51:58,843 --> 00:52:02,079 you've burned that particular bridge to the ground, 1065 00:52:02,081 --> 00:52:03,979 no matter how much you've changed. 1066 00:52:03,981 --> 00:52:06,316 Zoe, I didn't mean it like that. 1067 00:52:06,318 --> 00:52:09,686 I meant me, you, and Sam sitting down together, 1068 00:52:09,688 --> 00:52:11,088 spending some time. 1069 00:52:11,090 --> 00:52:14,861 Oh. Well, I'd like that. 1070 00:52:18,329 --> 00:52:21,798 - Can I ask you something? - Sure. 1071 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,401 Do you think that Sam... 1072 00:52:24,403 --> 00:52:26,803 No. Trust me. I know Sam. 1073 00:52:26,805 --> 00:52:29,439 He's the kind of guy if he thinks something, 1074 00:52:29,441 --> 00:52:30,843 he says something. 1075 00:52:37,715 --> 00:52:38,981 What are you doing? 1076 00:52:38,983 --> 00:52:42,119 I am having someone over for dinner. 1077 00:52:42,121 --> 00:52:43,854 Yeah, right. 1078 00:52:43,856 --> 00:52:45,425 I swear. 1079 00:52:46,390 --> 00:52:48,258 Is there a punch line here? 1080 00:52:48,260 --> 00:52:50,727 You gonna kick me in the balls or something? 1081 00:52:50,729 --> 00:52:53,696 You know what? Took your advice from the diner. 1082 00:52:53,698 --> 00:52:54,830 What's that? 1083 00:52:54,832 --> 00:52:56,166 Said I'm sorry. 1084 00:52:56,168 --> 00:52:57,834 Worked like a charm. 1085 00:52:57,836 --> 00:53:00,139 You're having Sara over? 1086 00:53:03,175 --> 00:53:05,477 I can't believe it. 1087 00:53:06,677 --> 00:53:08,246 Huh. 1088 00:53:12,284 --> 00:53:14,084 What are you doing? 1089 00:53:14,086 --> 00:53:17,086 Checking out your eye color. 1090 00:53:17,088 --> 00:53:19,321 That's the first tipoff that an alien life form 1091 00:53:19,323 --> 00:53:21,224 is impersonating your body. 1092 00:53:21,226 --> 00:53:24,394 Wow. It's a wonder other virgins 1093 00:53:24,396 --> 00:53:27,233 don't make pilgrimages to worship you. 1094 00:53:29,802 --> 00:53:31,468 You want me to go anywhere? 1095 00:53:31,470 --> 00:53:34,470 I can go for a walk or something. 1096 00:53:34,472 --> 00:53:35,671 If you want. 1097 00:53:35,673 --> 00:53:37,173 I can sit upstairs. 1098 00:53:37,175 --> 00:53:40,577 Yeah, if you want. It's gonna get loud. 1099 00:53:40,579 --> 00:53:42,711 Fuck you. 1100 00:53:42,713 --> 00:53:44,580 No, Sam, Sam, seriously, 1101 00:53:44,582 --> 00:53:46,783 this girl made it seem like she's only interested 1102 00:53:46,785 --> 00:53:49,019 in eating and fucking. 1103 00:53:49,021 --> 00:53:51,354 That's disgusting. 1104 00:53:51,356 --> 00:53:53,459 I'll close my door. 1105 00:54:02,233 --> 00:54:04,269 It's open! 1106 00:54:08,407 --> 00:54:10,774 Hey, Jake. Dad's house looks nice. 1107 00:54:10,776 --> 00:54:13,309 Thanks. 1108 00:54:13,311 --> 00:54:17,046 So, um, where's the food? What are we eating? 1109 00:54:17,048 --> 00:54:18,914 - You look great. - Oh, really? 1110 00:54:18,916 --> 00:54:22,619 I can hear you guys talking, and although it means nothing, 1111 00:54:22,621 --> 00:54:25,254 it's making me feel kinda weird, so... 1112 00:54:25,256 --> 00:54:30,160 I'm... gonna go for a walk. 1113 00:54:30,162 --> 00:54:31,660 What the hell? 1114 00:54:31,662 --> 00:54:33,032 Hey, Sam. 1115 00:54:34,233 --> 00:54:37,867 Sam, meet Zoe. 1116 00:54:37,869 --> 00:54:40,370 Fuck you, Jake. 1117 00:54:40,372 --> 00:54:42,539 You unbelievable piece of shit. 1118 00:54:42,541 --> 00:54:44,307 I don't know what's going on here. 1119 00:54:44,309 --> 00:54:47,146 If you leave, he's not gonna pay you your money. 1120 00:54:48,947 --> 00:54:50,680 What? 1121 00:54:50,682 --> 00:54:55,352 He's not going to pay you your money. 1122 00:54:55,354 --> 00:54:56,686 How do you know about that? 1123 00:54:56,688 --> 00:54:58,622 What kind of friend takes money 1124 00:54:58,624 --> 00:55:01,390 from someone's father to take care of them? 1125 00:55:01,392 --> 00:55:03,626 I mean, what the hell else were you gonna do? 1126 00:55:03,628 --> 00:55:05,327 And you wouldn't even buy me the paintball gun 1127 00:55:05,329 --> 00:55:06,729 when I asked you for it. 1128 00:55:06,731 --> 00:55:08,668 Yeah, that was a test, Sam. 1129 00:55:14,273 --> 00:55:16,506 You're out of your mind. 1130 00:55:16,508 --> 00:55:21,443 My mom and I live alone. Paycheck to paycheck. 1131 00:55:21,445 --> 00:55:26,082 I gave her all that money to help her out. 1132 00:55:26,084 --> 00:55:27,553 You get that at all? 1133 00:55:29,688 --> 00:55:31,657 Stand up. 1134 00:55:34,026 --> 00:55:37,526 I said stand up! I know you can stand up. 1135 00:55:37,528 --> 00:55:39,129 Why? 1136 00:55:39,131 --> 00:55:41,698 'Cause I'm gonna punch you in the face, 1137 00:55:41,700 --> 00:55:44,203 and I'm not gonna hit a guy in a wheelchair. 1138 00:56:04,021 --> 00:56:07,222 - What's the problem? - Shut up. 1139 00:56:07,224 --> 00:56:10,392 You gonna do something, do something. 1140 00:56:10,394 --> 00:56:12,562 Shut up. 1141 00:56:12,564 --> 00:56:15,597 - Do something. - I don't have to do anything. 1142 00:56:15,599 --> 00:56:17,466 Your girlfriend didn't give a shit enough 1143 00:56:17,468 --> 00:56:19,336 to not fuck someone else. 1144 00:56:19,338 --> 00:56:21,805 Your dad didn't care enough to stay. 1145 00:56:21,807 --> 00:56:23,807 You're all alone. 1146 00:56:23,809 --> 00:56:25,508 Nobody cares. 1147 00:56:25,510 --> 00:56:28,447 Someone had to pay me to care. 1148 00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,320 Zoe, this is bullshit. 1149 00:56:38,322 --> 00:56:42,694 I honestly thought you wouldn't make the mistake twice. 1150 00:57:17,996 --> 00:57:19,662 Why did you do that? 1151 00:57:19,664 --> 00:57:22,568 Because of the money. 1152 00:57:25,771 --> 00:57:29,705 Jake, I'm 26 years old, 1153 00:57:29,707 --> 00:57:32,809 and my father just died. 1154 00:57:32,811 --> 00:57:36,812 I have no savings, and I'm living at home. 1155 00:57:36,814 --> 00:57:39,115 And this? 1156 00:57:39,117 --> 00:57:42,484 This is the least important part of my life. 1157 00:57:42,486 --> 00:57:45,387 You know, you guys aren't 16 anymore. 1158 00:57:45,389 --> 00:57:47,222 He's not gonna be waiting at the bus stop tomorrow 1159 00:57:47,224 --> 00:57:50,392 for you to make it up to him. 1160 00:57:50,394 --> 00:57:53,997 Nobody wants you to be anything like your father. 1161 00:57:53,999 --> 00:57:56,202 You know that, right? 1162 00:57:58,169 --> 00:58:00,673 You're dad's not even here. 1163 00:58:53,057 --> 00:58:54,057 Hello? 1164 00:58:54,059 --> 00:58:56,729 Hey. I need help. 1165 00:59:02,901 --> 00:59:04,901 I think I broke my shoulder. 1166 00:59:04,903 --> 00:59:07,836 Why? What happened? 1167 00:59:07,838 --> 00:59:10,140 I punched Sam. 1168 00:59:10,142 --> 00:59:11,941 What'd you do? 1169 00:59:11,943 --> 00:59:13,843 - I punched him. - I know. 1170 00:59:13,845 --> 00:59:16,211 What did you do? 1171 00:59:16,213 --> 00:59:18,381 I may have sabotaged this thing he had going 1172 00:59:18,383 --> 00:59:19,816 with this girl he liked. 1173 00:59:19,818 --> 00:59:21,950 Well, you sprained it. 1174 00:59:21,952 --> 00:59:23,785 - It's not broken? - No. 1175 00:59:23,787 --> 00:59:26,523 It's gonna be sore for a week, so you need to figure this out. 1176 00:59:26,525 --> 00:59:28,624 - Get my friend back? - No, I don't care about your relationship. 1177 00:59:28,626 --> 00:59:31,296 That's on you. You need someone to take care of you. 1178 00:59:33,631 --> 00:59:35,097 So call the girl. 1179 00:59:35,099 --> 00:59:36,298 You call the girl, fix it with her, 1180 00:59:36,300 --> 00:59:37,399 and Sam will come back. 1181 00:59:37,401 --> 00:59:39,301 I don't know her number. 1182 00:59:39,303 --> 00:59:41,573 She lives across the street. 1183 00:59:45,577 --> 00:59:47,313 What, Jake? 1184 00:59:48,646 --> 00:59:51,247 I didn't mean anything I said. 1185 00:59:51,249 --> 00:59:53,182 I was being a manipulative asshole. 1186 00:59:53,184 --> 00:59:54,550 Yeah, I know. 1187 00:59:54,552 --> 00:59:57,689 I know you know. I just needed to tell you. 1188 00:59:59,023 --> 01:00:02,559 He's liked you for a long time. 1189 01:00:02,561 --> 01:00:04,162 A lot. 1190 01:00:06,131 --> 01:00:09,231 I'm just being an idiot. 1191 01:00:09,233 --> 01:00:11,466 I saw you walking with him, 1192 01:00:11,468 --> 01:00:16,705 and my dad telling me about Sam getting paid, it just... 1193 01:00:16,707 --> 01:00:19,043 It's me acting on some shitty instinct. 1194 01:00:20,244 --> 01:00:22,711 Did you mean anything you said? 1195 01:00:22,713 --> 01:00:24,446 When? 1196 01:00:24,448 --> 01:00:26,351 When you said you were sorry. 1197 01:00:28,852 --> 01:00:30,820 I don't know. 1198 01:00:30,822 --> 01:00:33,756 I am sorry, though. 1199 01:00:33,758 --> 01:00:37,160 Your dad was a really cool guy. 1200 01:00:41,765 --> 01:00:43,233 What am I supposed to do now? 1201 01:00:43,235 --> 01:00:45,535 Wait for Sam to get back, make some phone calls 1202 01:00:45,537 --> 01:00:48,771 and find someone else to take care of you. 1203 01:00:48,773 --> 01:00:51,975 I don't know that anyone else can. 1204 01:00:51,977 --> 01:00:54,611 Well, you gotta figure this out, Jake. 1205 01:00:54,613 --> 01:00:56,445 Okay. 1206 01:00:56,447 --> 01:00:59,548 You should call someone else. 1207 01:00:59,550 --> 01:01:00,649 Why? 1208 01:01:00,651 --> 01:01:02,318 Because Sam's definitely coming back. 1209 01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:04,787 Why do you say that? 1210 01:01:04,789 --> 01:01:07,957 Because he's sleeping in your dad's car right now. 1211 01:01:07,959 --> 01:01:10,459 If he was gonna go, he would have gone already. 1212 01:01:10,461 --> 01:01:12,461 Well, I need someone to take care of me. 1213 01:01:12,463 --> 01:01:15,330 Listen, anyone you treat the way you treat that kid, 1214 01:01:15,332 --> 01:01:17,503 maybe it's not the best thing. 1215 01:01:22,307 --> 01:01:23,872 I don't understand. 1216 01:01:23,874 --> 01:01:26,075 You're not the most perceptive guy in the world. 1217 01:01:26,077 --> 01:01:28,747 Do you understand that? 1218 01:01:29,914 --> 01:01:30,979 I guess. 1219 01:01:30,981 --> 01:01:32,215 You guess? 1220 01:01:32,217 --> 01:01:34,050 You've hit on me countless times. 1221 01:01:34,052 --> 01:01:37,553 I've countered countless times by referring to my partner. 1222 01:01:37,555 --> 01:01:39,722 Not my boyfriend, my partner. 1223 01:01:39,724 --> 01:01:42,727 Can you put two and two together? 1224 01:01:44,396 --> 01:01:46,963 Maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship with this kid. 1225 01:01:46,965 --> 01:01:49,164 But I gotta go. I have an appointment in 20 minutes, 1226 01:01:49,166 --> 01:01:51,603 so I'll see you next week, okay? 1227 01:03:13,818 --> 01:03:16,919 I don't want to beat you up again. 1228 01:03:16,921 --> 01:03:21,090 I just wanna keep my head down, finish out my time here. 1229 01:03:21,092 --> 01:03:25,227 Beat me up? I punched you. 1230 01:03:25,229 --> 01:03:28,263 Whatever. I just want to go upstairs 1231 01:03:28,265 --> 01:03:30,700 and sleep in a normal bed. 1232 01:03:30,702 --> 01:03:32,135 No. 1233 01:03:32,137 --> 01:03:33,369 What? 1234 01:03:33,371 --> 01:03:35,204 I want you to leave. 1235 01:03:35,206 --> 01:03:37,309 What the hell you talking about? 1236 01:03:38,675 --> 01:03:40,642 I think... 1237 01:03:40,644 --> 01:03:43,646 and you can correct me if I'm wrong... 1238 01:03:43,648 --> 01:03:48,117 that as long as I'm here, you're gonna take care of me, 1239 01:03:48,119 --> 01:03:52,821 even if my father doesn't pay you. 1240 01:03:52,823 --> 01:03:56,225 The thing is... 1241 01:03:56,227 --> 01:03:58,593 you don't like me. 1242 01:03:58,595 --> 01:04:02,798 - Not right now, no. - No, you don't like me at all. 1243 01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:05,200 And that's okay. 1244 01:04:05,202 --> 01:04:08,604 I'm an asshole. 1245 01:04:08,606 --> 01:04:11,573 But for some reason, 1246 01:04:11,575 --> 01:04:17,012 me being an asshole has just caused you to stop. 1247 01:04:17,014 --> 01:04:19,115 And that's not okay. 1248 01:04:19,117 --> 01:04:20,716 I don't think... 1249 01:04:20,718 --> 01:04:22,287 Seriously. 1250 01:04:24,389 --> 01:04:26,088 We're not friends. 1251 01:04:26,090 --> 01:04:29,392 We're just used to each other. 1252 01:04:29,394 --> 01:04:32,260 So I need you to just leave. 1253 01:04:32,262 --> 01:04:35,798 I need you to go write an SAT prep book 1254 01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:37,800 or date Zoe 1255 01:04:37,802 --> 01:04:39,602 or do anything... 1256 01:04:39,604 --> 01:04:42,504 as long as I'm just not involved and far away. 1257 01:04:42,506 --> 01:04:45,475 Just do something so that I don't feel 1258 01:04:45,477 --> 01:04:49,745 like I fucked this up so bad. 1259 01:04:49,747 --> 01:04:54,182 We were best friends, man. 1260 01:04:54,184 --> 01:04:56,318 Probably the best when we were 10, 1261 01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:59,988 and then we never changed. 1262 01:04:59,990 --> 01:05:02,360 That sucks. 1263 01:05:06,097 --> 01:05:08,633 But we don't have to be friends now. 1264 01:05:13,671 --> 01:05:16,305 Okay. 1265 01:05:16,307 --> 01:05:19,041 But who's gonna take care of you? 1266 01:05:19,043 --> 01:05:22,178 I called Sara. She said do it for 500. 1267 01:05:22,180 --> 01:05:24,116 Don't worry about it. 1268 01:05:27,952 --> 01:05:30,055 See you later. 1269 01:05:33,057 --> 01:05:34,459 Okay. 1270 01:05:46,771 --> 01:05:50,506 By the time I'm 16, she's gonna be 28 or something. 1271 01:05:50,508 --> 01:05:52,874 She slapped you pretty hard. 1272 01:05:52,876 --> 01:05:58,381 Yeah, well, you gotta make an omelet to break some eggs. 1273 01:05:58,383 --> 01:06:02,684 What? That's not what you meant to say. 1274 01:06:02,686 --> 01:06:04,921 How would you know? 1275 01:06:04,923 --> 01:06:07,023 That made no sense. 1276 01:06:07,025 --> 01:06:11,095 In the future, keep those kinda things to yourself. 1277 01:06:15,465 --> 01:06:17,633 I got a lot more candy than you. 1278 01:06:17,635 --> 01:06:21,139 - Yeah, I know. - Let's even it out. 1279 01:06:29,713 --> 01:06:31,513 Thanks. 1280 01:06:31,515 --> 01:06:36,419 Yeah, well, get used to it. It's not gonna last forever. 1281 01:06:36,421 --> 01:06:39,821 Uh, I think you meant don't get used to it. 1282 01:06:39,823 --> 01:06:41,793 I mean shut up. 1283 01:12:14,191 --> 01:12:16,461 - Camera speed. - Marker. 1284 01:12:17,628 --> 01:12:19,694 All quiet. 1285 01:12:19,696 --> 01:12:22,297 Set. 1286 01:12:22,299 --> 01:12:24,335 And action. 1287 01:12:25,835 --> 01:12:28,604 Why did my daughter just call me delusional? 1288 01:12:28,606 --> 01:12:31,140 I don't know. Did you say something crazy? 1289 01:12:31,142 --> 01:12:33,943 No. I walked in from the den, and she said I was delusional. 1290 01:12:33,945 --> 01:12:37,479 Sam, she doesn't know that word unless you taught it to her. 1291 01:12:37,481 --> 01:12:40,382 Linda, it's probably an SAT word. 1292 01:12:40,384 --> 01:12:42,217 I don't know what delusional means. 1293 01:12:42,219 --> 01:12:43,953 But it's okay, Mom. 1294 01:12:43,955 --> 01:12:47,221 Mr. Sanderson says I'm not smart enough for any of this anyway. 1295 01:12:47,223 --> 01:12:49,725 - For Christ sakes. - That's... 1296 01:12:49,727 --> 01:12:52,694 Listen, I didn't say those words exactly. 1297 01:12:52,696 --> 01:12:55,230 I said something very similar to it. I'm not gonna lie. 1298 01:12:55,232 --> 01:12:58,300 The important thing is that I didn't say those words exactly. 1299 01:12:58,302 --> 01:13:00,034 What exactly did you say? 1300 01:13:00,036 --> 01:13:04,273 I said she's not smart enough for this stuff right now. 1301 01:13:04,275 --> 01:13:06,007 - What? - She's not! 1302 01:13:06,009 --> 01:13:07,443 Linda, this stuff is tough. 1303 01:13:07,445 --> 01:13:09,877 You got her doing it at ten years old. 1304 01:13:09,879 --> 01:13:14,551 Hey, you! Sun is to shining like your mom is to what? 1305 01:13:17,321 --> 01:13:19,520 Delusional. See? 1306 01:13:19,522 --> 01:13:21,657 I'm just trying to give her a head start. 1307 01:13:21,659 --> 01:13:23,425 A healthy head start is six months. 1308 01:13:23,427 --> 01:13:25,093 The whole point of the SATs 1309 01:13:25,095 --> 01:13:27,695 is that a ten-year-old shouldn't be able to do it. 1310 01:13:27,697 --> 01:13:29,898 Who are you to determine whether my daughter 1311 01:13:29,900 --> 01:13:31,699 is ready or not for SAT prep? 1312 01:13:31,701 --> 01:13:33,702 I think I'm exactly the right person to determine that. 1313 01:13:33,704 --> 01:13:36,238 I'm the SAT tutor. Am I being unreasonable? 1314 01:13:36,240 --> 01:13:38,740 Sam, I don't think you're the right person for this job. 1315 01:13:38,742 --> 01:13:40,275 - Are you firing me? - Yes, I am. 1316 01:13:40,277 --> 01:13:42,778 - You gonna pay me for today? - Fine! 1317 01:13:42,780 --> 01:13:46,681 Please, please go outside and play with your friends. 1318 01:13:46,683 --> 01:13:48,751 Do not order my daughter around! 1319 01:13:48,753 --> 01:13:50,752 The streets are the greatest classroom. 1320 01:13:50,754 --> 01:13:52,589 She can't unhear that. 1321 01:13:55,326 --> 01:13:56,461 Cut! 1322 01:13:56,463 --> 01:14:01,463 Subtitles by explosiveskull 93749