Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:03,630
[Christmas music playing]
2
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,670
[engine revving]
3
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:57,831
[music ends]
4
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,352
[commercial announcer on TV]
Welcome to the Villa Capri.
5
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,360
Located in the heart of the desert
6
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,353
is the resort community
that takes you to paradise.
7
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,872
You've worked hard all of your life,
8
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:09,191
and now...
9
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,996
[heavy breathing]
10
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,391
No!
11
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,196
[exhales, grunts]
12
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,515
That son of a bitch
13
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,240
is in Palm Springs.
14
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,639
[breathless] He's basking
in the sun and playing golf.
15
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:38,351
While my husband
is drinking toilet wine in supermax!
16
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:39,874
[gasping]
17
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:42,231
[panting]
18
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:43,917
[grunts]
19
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,513
Now the only thing that I want
from you for Christmas
20
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,116
is that rat's head in a box!
21
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,952
And make it look like it's an accident.
22
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,674
[Steven Davis's
"A Few More Days Till Christmas" playing]
23
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:17,474
♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪
24
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,716
♪ My favorite time of year ♪
25
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,832
♪ If we're lucky we'll see Santa ♪
26
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,996
♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪
27
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,032
♪ The snow keeps on fallin' ♪
28
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,589
♪ Sleddin' down the hill ♪
29
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,752
♪ Frosty's frozen on the lawn ♪
30
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,431
♪ Countin' down the days until ♪
31
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,719
♪ We gather 'round decorate the tree ♪
32
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,115
♪ Singin' holiday songs ♪
33
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,390
♪ Spices fill the air ♪
34
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,037
♪ Smell of cookies everywhere ♪
35
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,153
- Hi, Duke.
- Hey.
36
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,477
♪ A few more days to Christmas ♪
37
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,229
♪ The very best time of year ♪
38
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,439
♪ Firelight is glowing ♪
39
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,752
♪ On everything we hold dear ♪
40
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,552
♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪
41
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,189
♪ A few more days ♪
♪ Till Christmas is here ♪
42
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:24,194
- Hi.
- Thank you.
43
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:27,831
Santa!
44
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,999
Oh! You're very generous, Duke.
45
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,912
Could I get you to sign
this receipt for me?
46
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,712
Sure thing. You just bought your way off
47
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,154
- the naughty list.
- Pleasure.
48
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,234
♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪
49
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,794
♪ Firelight is glowing ♪
50
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,794
♪ On everything we hold dear ♪
51
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,872
♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪
52
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,355
♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪
53
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,558
- [man] Hey boss!
- [Duke] Great job, guys. Very festive.
54
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:09,751
[song ends]
55
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,034
[mellow music playing]
56
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,673
- Excuse me. This is Mr. Diver's spot.
- Perfect!
57
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,358
Mr. Diver make you wear those clothes?
58
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:40,916
Shine it up for me, Elf.
59
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,391
- [Jimmy] Nice tree.
- [Duke] Who is that in my parking spot?
60
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,075
[Jimmy] Oh, that's a new resident,
Leo McKay.
61
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,311
Yeah, he just checked in
last night and he's actually very...
62
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,869
He's got a ten-gallon hat
on a five-gallon head.
63
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,156
Paid all cash.
64
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,237
Cash?
65
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,829
Well... [clicks tongue]
66
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,280
Let's invite him to my private poker game.
67
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,550
You got it.
68
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,440
I'll show him who's boss.
69
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,319
- In the nicest way.
- Of course.
70
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:18,240
- It's crooked.
- Hm?
71
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:23,152
- And there's a bald spot.
- So what? A lot of trees have flaws.
72
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,469
A lot of people have flaws.
73
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,392
You can put the bad side
of a tree against the wall.
74
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,073
What do you do
with the bad side of people?
75
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,832
- That's deep.
- Write it down.
76
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:35,591
Greetings, my darling.
77
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,675
Be a dear and get 5,000
out of petty cash for me.
78
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:39,671
Not a problem.
79
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,152
Got some stuff for you to sign here, sir.
80
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,398
Did you know that the builders
of the great cathedrals of Europe
81
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,870
would leave a small flaw
in the stone somewhere
82
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,270
just to acknowledge
that only God is perfect?
83
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,396
Where do you learn all this stuff?
84
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:53,834
College of life, my boy.
85
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,355
Well, we've got
the gardener's Christmas bonus,
86
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,999
the extra security cameras for your villa,
87
00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,799
the bonus you asked me
to pay out to the entire staff,
88
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,231
live animals for the nativity scene.
The camels were a little expensive.
89
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,198
You can't a nativity without camels.
90
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,074
The Wise Men came from the East.
91
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,276
Got to give them respect.
92
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,239
Oh, and we have a letter
from the Rotary Club
93
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,311
confirming your acceptance
94
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,710
- of Man of the Year Honors...
- I can't accept. Can't accept.
95
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,873
I'm uncomfortable in the limelight.
96
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,675
You seem comfortable in the limelight.
97
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,918
My golf clubs! Oh, perfect, perfect!
98
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,993
So, I had them close the face
on the driver by a degree and a half.
99
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,151
You've been slicing a little recently.
Should take care of it.
100
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,350
Good, good, good.
101
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,753
I think I'll just run on out to the range
and let the big dogs eat.
102
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:32,796
[Ginger] Oh, Duke!
103
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,431
[Duke] Hm?
104
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,599
- Five thou. Mm-hm.
- Thank you, my darlin'.
105
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,352
Duke, you checkin' me out?
106
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,672
- Every delicious inch.
- [giggles]
107
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,439
That's a nice tree you got this year.
108
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:48,831
Well, thank you,
109
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,877
but I'm a little concerned
that some of the residents
110
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,917
might not like a flocked tree.
111
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,991
Well, you know me, Duke.
112
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,115
I like a nice flockin' from time to time.
113
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,394
[Duke] A bit of Henkell's Trocken
for my darlin'?
114
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,836
[giggles] Whatever.
115
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,709
[snickers] It's a little before
my bedtime, but... [grunts]
116
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:14,319
- Aw, it's always your bedtime, Duke.
- [both chuckle]
117
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,960
But darlin', you know a man's nature
is a man's...
118
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,353
[both laughing]
119
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:20,874
[Susan Werner, "Don't Forget
To Remember Christmas" playing quietly]
120
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:26,477
Hey, why don't I go and enhance
the fireplace in the boudoir.
121
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:27,637
Would you like that?
122
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,279
- Yeah, I would.
- Okay!
123
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,114
[whistling]
124
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,837
[Roberta] Hope you don't mind.
I let myself in.
125
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:42,711
Pour moi?
126
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:47,076
Uh... of course!
127
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,355
[Roberta giggles]
128
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,072
What is the color of that silk
against your skin?
129
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,832
There's a painting by Caravaggio.
You could have been...
130
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,240
It's plum.
131
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,235
And you're my plum.
132
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,276
Oh!
133
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:06,640
Listen, darling, I... I'm just gonna go
and... lock up, turn out all the lights,
134
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,519
and come back
and submit to your every whim.
135
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,479
My every whim.
136
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,516
[growls]
137
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,069
Oh... Hurry back.
138
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,159
[music continues]
139
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,239
[giggles]
140
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,789
Uh... Marguerite darlin',
I... I think the...
141
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:32,480
Zoloft and the Lipitor
are kicking in a little early on me.
142
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,119
I... I feel woozy.
143
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,960
- Hold on a minute.
- [Duke] What?
144
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,119
[whispers] Have you got
another woman in there?
145
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:43,480
Oh, Marguerite... you hurt me
with your accusation.
146
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:47,873
You twist the knife. The wound bleeds.
147
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,998
You... you get such pleasure
out... out of my discomfort.
148
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,912
- I... I just don't...
- Hold on a second, mister.
149
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,673
You didn't answer my question.
150
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,957
Darling, trust me...
151
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,391
I speak from the heart when I say...
152
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,912
Yes, there's a woman in the bedroom.
153
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,196
[sighs] All right. Well...
154
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:14,956
I know I'm not your one and only,
and we've got a grown-up relationship.
155
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,997
- Yes.
- So, I'll...
156
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,150
Well, I'll just say good night.
157
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,314
- [Marguerite] I'm fine.
- N... no! Let me, let me...
158
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,756
- let me walk you to your door, okay?
- [Marguerite] Mm-hm.
159
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,758
In your own way, Duke,
you are strangely chivalrous.
160
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,554
[chuckles] Merci beaucoup.
161
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,075
[Marguerite] Still a cat,
of course, but you got rules.
162
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,720
Aw, I consider myself a gentleman.
163
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:47,793
And so, "Good night. Good night.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
164
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,274
I shall say good night
till it be 'morrow."
165
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,718
[chuckles] Can I quote you on that?
166
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,314
Well, you be my guest, Romeo.
167
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,471
Actually, I'm... I'm surprised you even
considered a little romance tonight
168
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,630
given the circumstances.
169
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,351
Circumstances?
170
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:04,670
Well, this is your poker night.
171
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,071
Ciao.
172
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,669
Uh... poker?
173
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,477
Poker!
174
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,313
[upbeat music playing]
175
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,230
[gasps]
176
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,438
I got the feeling that the Duke
177
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:30,474
needed a little... Roberta.
178
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,235
[chuckles] Uh, yes.
179
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,239
The Duke... the Duke always needs
a little Roberta. [chuckles]
180
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:43,396
Well, from the way you just said it,
it sounds like a "not tonight".
181
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:49,240
Well, I have a meeting
that requires urgent attention, darling.
182
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,437
- At night?
- It's morning in China.
183
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,832
[chuckles]
184
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,277
Uh, well, good night, good night, darling.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
185
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:05,391
"A horse, a horse.
My kingdom for a horse."
186
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,356
- [nickers like a horse]
- Mm-hm.
187
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,279
[men's laughter]
188
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,515
So, a guy comes home from the doctor's.
189
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,559
He tells his wife,
"Honey, I got terrible news."
190
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:24,471
Terrible news.
191
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,950
"Doctor says, I only got
12 hours to live."
192
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,549
- Uh-huh.
- Wife says, "Oh dear, that's terrible.
193
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,997
That's terrible. I'll do anything for you.
Whatever you want."
194
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:37,472
And he says, "I want to have wild sex
with you all night long."
195
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,469
And she looks at him and says,
196
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,836
"Easy for you to say. You don't have
to get up in the morning."
197
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,880
- [laughter]
- [Larry] That's funny! That's very funny!
198
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,111
All right. Who's betting?
Who's betting? Who's betting?
199
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,513
It's me, and I'm goin' in for big money.
'cause I wanna take everything you got.
200
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,956
I'll see your 100 and raise you two.
201
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,714
- [Larry] That' a 100 bucks!
- [overlapping chatter]
202
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,473
- I'll see you, I'll see you.
- [chatter continues]
203
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,233
I heard this is where the action's at.
204
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,231
Who the hell are you?
205
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,676
I'm Leo McKay. I'm moving into um...
206
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,672
Villa 71. Welcome, neighbor.
207
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,671
Hi.
208
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,871
I'm Duke Diver, resident manager
of this little corner of paradise.
209
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,198
- These are my cronies.
- Duke's a legend.
210
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,680
Legends ain't what they used to be,
are they?
211
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,194
[Larry] Yeah, but you don't know Duke.
212
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,317
He's a resident champion
of everything around here.
213
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,754
Guys, you're embarrassing me.
214
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,760
I'm just a country boy
tryin' to fade into the sunset
215
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:25,956
with smile on my face.
216
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,076
Ain't we all?
217
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,550
But I gotta warn you, cousin,
we play for real money here.
218
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,030
Well, I'll try to keep up.
219
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,712
- [Joey] Oh.
- [Larry] Holy shit... That's a wad, man!
220
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,080
Shit just got real up in here!
221
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,311
[Burt] That's my alimony, I can't, man,
this is two months...
222
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,197
Okay.
223
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,470
[Joey] Now, where you from, Leo?
224
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:46,714
I'm a citizen of the world.
Mogadishu, Jakarta, Kabul.
225
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,920
All the vacation spots.
226
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,040
- [Joey] Military?
- No. Ex-military.
227
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,271
Currently entrepreneur.
228
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,235
International trade.
I buy stuff, sell stuff.
229
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,231
Like?
230
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,116
Gas, guns, oil, trains, trucks.
Big stuff. I like big stuff.
231
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,715
[overlapping chatter]
232
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,994
And a man of mystery.
233
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:10,950
How about we play some cards?
234
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,874
What's your game, cousin?
235
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:17,113
You like Five Card Draw, Stud,
Omaha, Texas Hold 'Em?
236
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,111
Texas will do.
237
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:19,631
Deal 'em, Joey.
238
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,349
[Joey] And a five and a ten, ten.
239
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:23,591
Ace high.
240
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,196
Why don't we double that.
241
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,079
- [Larry] Wow.
- [Burt] You guys are bank robbers.
242
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,759
[Joey sighs] Gotta know when to fold.
243
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,595
My 700. Here's the river.
244
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,440
- [Larry] Look at that!
- [overlapping chatter]
245
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,434
I'm gonna... just for the shit's sake,
I'm gonna bump it two.
246
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,351
[Leo] There's nine.
247
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,033
- Burt, what are you? You all-in?
- I'm out.
248
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,834
And I'm all-in.
249
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,912
[Larry] Oh man! What we gonna do?
250
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,071
Okay, y'all. Read 'em and weep.
251
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,720
- Full boat, aces up.
- [Larry] Holy shit!
252
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,029
[Larry] We warned ya, Leo!
253
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,518
- That's four tens.
- [Larry gasps] What?
254
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,631
- [Leo] Four tens.
- [Larry] Damn, he beat Duke.
255
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,040
[Burt] I am deader than dead.
256
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,440
[Larry] I'm all cleaned out.
257
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,157
[Leo] Damn, I was lucky!
258
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,920
Sometimes you step in horseshit
and you wind up smellin'...
259
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,720
Excuse me, you know,
I think that one's mine.
260
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,789
I didn't see that.
261
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,554
- [chuckles]
- What do you want? Why'd you come here?
262
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,320
I came here to continue developing
my business empire
263
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,992
while working on my shaky golf game.
264
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,870
Oh, you... you play golf?
265
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,073
Not well, but honestly and earnestly.
266
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,720
Well, uh, perhaps
you will give me the chance
267
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,712
to win back my money on the golf course.
268
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:33,790
[Leo] Perhaps I will.
269
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:34,791
[snickers]
270
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,835
You know, a true gentleman
does not walk away a winner.
271
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,829
A true gentleman keeps the game alive.
272
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,477
Oh, my, my, my, my! Behold the evidence.
273
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,838
Whatever can it mean?
274
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,436
She's lookin' for deep comfort
and companionship and maybe a soulmate.
275
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,510
[Duke] Nuh-uh.
276
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,554
She's not lookin' for soulmate.
277
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,838
She's lookin' for a few precious hours
of intimate connections
278
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,679
with no questions asked.
279
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,116
Maybe I'll just go over there
and pick up the tab, huh?
280
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,156
Can't compete with that.
281
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,191
[Duke] Shit!
282
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,357
Well, could if I wanted to.
283
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,076
Can I buy you another round?
284
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,072
You can scram is what you can do.
285
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,480
♪ The first noel ♪
286
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,678
♪ The angel did say ♪
287
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:35,553
♪ Was to certain poor shepherds ♪
♪ In fields as they lay ♪
288
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:42,520
♪ In fields where they ♪
♪ Lay keeping their sheep ♪
289
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,559
[Roberta on PA] Season's greetin's, y'all.
290
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,191
Good news to report.
Mike Shank from villa 68
291
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,840
had a successful hip replacement surgery
292
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,755
and should be back to the Villa Capri
in just a few days.
293
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:55,876
What the...
294
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,880
That's not my regular camel guy.
Where's my regular camel guy?
295
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,634
Uh, he's uh, under the weather.
296
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,951
Oh, uh, corporate is sending
a regional director down
297
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,793
to do a year-end review in case it...
298
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,391
slipped your mind.
299
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:14,794
I will look down upon him
from a great height. Bring him on.
300
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,593
Yeah. Bring him on.
301
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,716
Ladies, have you seen the new guy?
302
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,795
He's moving into villa 71.
303
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,118
There's new food on the buffet.
304
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,236
- Yes.
- [chuckles]
305
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,040
Oh, in the air, there's a feelin'
of Christmas.
306
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,113
I'm Leo McKay,
and you young ladies might be...
307
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,317
[overlapping chatter]
308
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:39,477
Look at that.
309
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,514
I spent years juggling stories
to keep those women apart,
310
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,240
and in 20 minutes,
he's got them lined up for a three-way.
311
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,552
Well, uh, four-way if anybody's countin'.
312
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,518
[Duke] He's not showing me any respect.
313
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,034
- No respect.
- [Larry] No. Nothin'.
314
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,954
But he's gonna find out this is my town.
315
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,631
You're the Duke and this is your domain.
I told you.
316
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,116
- Don't upset him, Larry!
- [Larry] Duke don't like that.
317
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:03,075
[knocking on door]
318
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,714
- Well, hello.
- Hello.
319
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,560
I'm Roberta. We met earlier.
320
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,912
You know, I neglected to mention
321
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,233
that as president
of the Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club
322
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:24,396
here at Villa Capri Resort Community,
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas.
323
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,995
Oh! You know,
I could help you fix the place up.
324
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,151
You know, a little Feng Shui.
325
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:33,991
Oh!
326
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,237
- I got skills.
- I'll bet you do.
327
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,994
What you got back here? The dinin' room?
328
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,270
The bedroom. Giddy-up!
329
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,150
[knocking on door]
330
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,069
Hi. I'm Marguerite
with the Welcome Wagon Club.
331
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,436
- Are you a Glad-Hander?
- [Marguerite] How'd you know?
332
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,431
[giggles]
333
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,594
As secretary-treasurer, I brought
a little somethin' to warm up your place.
334
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,275
- A work of art.
- My sentiments exactly.
335
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,756
- And thank you.
- For what?
336
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,675
Did you just invite me in
for a little vino? [giggles]
337
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,350
Red? I love red.
338
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,349
I love white. I love it all.
339
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,150
Well, then how about a lovely Margaux
for a lovely Margot? Can I call you that?
340
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,959
You can call me whatever you like.
341
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,955
By the way, I am in villa 52.
342
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,555
And I'm in villa 36.
What you gonna call me?
343
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,950
Oh my God! How did you get here before me?
344
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,396
You know that the by-laws
of our club clearly state
345
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,949
that the president
and not the secretary-treasurer
346
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,599
should be the first Welcomer on the scene.
347
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,473
Okay, well let's just call this
an unofficial visit.
348
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,516
- Unofficial?
- Why don't we just have a taste
349
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,790
of this delightful vintage?
350
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,032
- [Marguerite] Oh!
- [Lily] Don we now our straight apparel.
351
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,474
- Oh, my God!
- [Leo] And what office
352
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,314
of Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club
might you hold?
353
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,439
Sergeant-at-arms.
354
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,751
Flag flying stiff and ready, I bet.
355
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,479
I think this party's just gettin' started.
356
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,439
- Here, why don't I take you to dinner?
- [ladies in unison] All of us?
357
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:04,910
[Lily] Thank you.
358
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,196
- [Leo] Oh, boy.
- [Lily] Oh, yes, sir.
359
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,191
[whispering] Look at him. Look at him.
360
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,993
[Duke] He's got all three of 'em?
361
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,110
He's bangin' your entire harem, boss.
362
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,272
Oh my God! Some big,
brass huevos he's got!
363
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,875
Is he punkin' you, boss?
364
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,397
He's playin' into my hand
is what he's doin'.
365
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:26,391
[Joey grunts softly].
366
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,877
He said his golf game is shaky,
am I right?
367
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,360
- That's what he said.
- [Burt] That's what he said.
368
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,394
Well, gentlemen, who knows
this golf course better than me?
369
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,476
- [Larry] Old cowboy's in trouble now.
- [Burt] Oh, I feel bad for Leo.
370
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,438
- We'll see.
- [Burt chuckles]
371
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,517
[upbeat music playing]
372
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,398
I hereby challenge you to 18 holes of golf
tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. sharp.
373
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,629
[Larry] Cowboy done stepped in it now.
374
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,040
[instrumental "Joy To The World" playing]
375
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,518
[Roberta] We hear that you consider
yourself a citizen of the world.
376
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,235
Now exactly what does that mean to you?
377
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,310
It means that I have traveled
378
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,995
from the Cape of Good Hope
to the Black Sea,
379
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,835
from Machu Picchu to Brunelleschi's Dome.
380
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,278
I have been to the birthplace
of Mr. Shakespeare.
381
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,398
And I have been to the gravesite
of Mr. Lombardi.
382
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,516
[Roberta] Oh.
383
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:32,116
I rose from the dusty fields
to the gilded halls of power,
384
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,635
first in the military
and then in the business world,
385
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,838
and yet, to this day, I retain my touch
to the common man!
386
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,239
For that is who I am.
387
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,757
Oh, Mr. McKay, you are indeed a poet.
388
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,150
I'm not a poet but I have read
the great works.
389
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,673
Would you favor us with a poem?
390
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:49,989
- [Leo grunts]
- Pretty please.
391
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,073
Well, why not? Um, Baudelaire?
392
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,435
More modernist, maybe?
393
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,716
Yeats? Williams? Cummings?
394
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:02,159
Or... or perhaps something a little more...
earthier with a...
395
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,278
- backdrop of Christmas.
- [overlapping chatter]
396
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,510
The last one.
397
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:06,831
May I?
398
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:08,311
Uh..
399
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,035
"There are strange things done
in the midnight sun
400
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,077
By the men who moil for gold;
401
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,593
The Artic trails have their savage tales
402
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,990
That will make your blood run cold;
403
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,151
The Northern Lights
have seen queer sights,
404
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,833
But the queerest they ever did see
405
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,195
- Was that night on the marge
- [dog barking]
406
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,557
of Lake Lebarge I cremated Sam McGee."
407
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,754
- [Suzie] Romeo! Romeo!
- "Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee..."
408
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,238
Oh, Romeo! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
409
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,800
I'm sorry, he broke away.
410
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,720
He's a sweetheart
but I can never shut him up.
411
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,759
- [shushes] Sit. Be a good dog.
- [barking and growling]
412
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,119
[Leo] Sit down. [shushes]
413
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:48,671
How'd you do that?
414
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,190
I like dogs.
415
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,430
Oh! Yeah?
416
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,270
- I'm Leo McKay.
- Oh, Suzie Quince.
417
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,999
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
418
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,280
I'm so sorry to interrupt
whatever it is you're doing.
419
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,510
That's quite all right.
420
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,400
Okay. Well, carry on.
421
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,357
"On Christmas Day we were mushing
our way along the Dawson trail.
422
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,030
Talk of your cold!
Through the parkas fold.
423
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,156
It stabbed like a...
424
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,998
it stabbed like a driven nail."
425
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,479
- [laughter]
- [overlapping chatter]
426
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,720
[Burt] Sr. Jiménez!
427
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,190
[Joey] Miguel Jiménez! That's it.
428
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:37,636
Here he comes.
429
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,837
That's it. Loosen up, Dukie.
430
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,110
You got 'em now.
431
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,759
[overlapping chatter]
432
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,038
Good morning! I accept your challenge.
433
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:47,834
Well, I'm loose as a goose.
434
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,120
Mark Twain said that golf
is a good walk spoiled, but I say...
435
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,680
It's a good walk enhanced.
436
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,752
Except that neither one of us
is walking, huh?
437
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,799
- [Leo] Details, details, details.
- [laughter]
438
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,836
I am a big picture man.
439
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,157
Uh, boss, we got a problem.
440
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,118
- What?
- This guy can flat-out play!
441
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,793
He said his game was shaky.
442
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,317
His shaky is better than your shaky.
443
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,720
- Wait...
- Boss.
444
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,394
We watched him warm up this morning.
445
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,154
This guy can flat out hit. I ain't lyin'.
446
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,550
I got a short game.
447
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,394
He's got a short game, too,
and a long game.
448
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,516
I assume I have the honors.
449
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,477
[Duke] Uh, yes, you do.
450
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,792
Um, just a word of caution.
Out of bounds is to your right.
451
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,473
- [laughter]
- That's the way I like it.
452
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:29,630
It's to the left.
453
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,479
- [shouting]
- [overlapping chatter]
454
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,919
[Burt] Oh shit! The guy can hit the ball.
455
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,996
Is that a legal club?
I don't think that's a legal club.
456
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,719
- My side bet with you is off.
- [overlapping chatter]
457
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,359
We might as well get some new girlfriends.
458
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,875
Thanks for the confidence, fellas.
Gee whiz!
459
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,555
Well, you're a thinking man.
It's a thinking man's game.
460
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,632
I think I'm gonna
hit a three wood out here.
461
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:57,756
[Joey] Three wood. Good idea.
462
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,956
- Are you sure?
- Yeah that'll be good.
463
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,436
Yeah, okay.
464
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:03,231
[Joey] Let it fly.
465
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,115
- [snake hisses]
- [Duke gasps] Oh shit!
466
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,873
[shouting]
467
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,235
[Larry] It's a damn cobra!
468
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,960
- [Joey] Gun! Gun!
- I... I... I got it! I got it!
469
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,712
- [Larry] Damn!
- [Duke] I got it! I got it!
470
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,711
[Larry] You see that?
471
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,469
[shouting]
472
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,592
[Burt] Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
473
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,158
Okay, die, viper!
474
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:27,998
- [Joey] You got him surrounded.
- [Larry] Still movin'!
475
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,160
Don't hurt yourself with that thing.
476
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,799
Somebody bring a beer cooler, please.
477
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,712
Somebody put a cap on...
put a top on the bucket.
478
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,552
I never had you figured
for a man packin' iron
479
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,915
even if it is a peashooter.
480
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,716
[mumbling] You never know
who's lurkin' around.
481
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,272
Take him to the Serpentarium in 29 Palms.
482
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,034
- [woman screams]
- [Larry] Look out! Look out!
483
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,430
Sit... sit on that thing.
Sit on it, you're the biggest.
484
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,431
Come on.
485
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,312
Oh! Goddamn!
486
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,511
- Wait! Wait!
- [woman screams]
487
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,593
[overlapping chatter]
488
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,440
- You're good. Sit on it now. Sit down.
- [Joey] Sit down.
489
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,351
Oh, we're good.
490
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,271
I almost got bit.
491
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:16,760
I'm not going anywhere near that golf bag.
492
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:17,990
[Leo] You bailin' out of our game?
493
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:21,511
I have trouble swingin' a golf club
with a rattlesnake wrapped around it, Leo.
494
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:26,595
- You're afraid to play me.
- I'm not afraid of anything or anyone.
495
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:30,991
Coward.
496
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,190
[Larry] Doin' a good job, Burt.
497
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,956
- [Roberta] Come on, I need a drink.
- [Lily] I think it's happy hour.
498
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,359
- ...sit on that thing...
Leo, hell am I supposed to do now?
499
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,359
Hell, I don't know. Not my problem.
500
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:45,831
[woman] Sit on it!
501
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:50,352
When a man lets another man
take care of his golf bag, Jimmy,
502
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,079
he has certain expectations.
503
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:56,120
You think a snake zipped himself
into a pocket in my bag?
504
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,550
Snakes don't have opposable thumbs.
505
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,914
This was not an accident.
506
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,031
Shit!
507
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,516
What took you so long?
508
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,111
Oh, thank you.
509
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,599
I see I'm gonna have
to teach you a lesson.
510
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,558
I would love to have another poker lesson
511
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,757
unless you find it easier
just to write me a check.
512
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,551
Tell me somethin',
did you move to Villa Capri
513
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,796
just to piss me off?
514
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,712
No, that was just a happy by-product.
515
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,917
But this anger is doin' you a lot of good.
516
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,719
It gets the blood circulating
throughout your entire body
517
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,995
instead of down there in your little ol'...
518
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,276
You're lucky I have a commitment
of a higher calling at home.
519
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,717
You and I... just gettin' started.
520
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:37,956
I can hardly wait.
521
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,311
Nice fella.
522
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:44,630
[phone rings]
523
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:50,591
Tell me he's dead.
524
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:52,671
[sighs]
525
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,709
I... I... I know!
526
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,752
I told you to make it look
like an accident,
527
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,991
but a snake in his golf bag?
528
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:00,911
Sweetie,
529
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,959
murder him the old-fashioned way.
530
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:06,751
[sighs]
531
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:08,600
[Roberta on PA] Attention, residents:
532
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,117
The annual tree lighting
is about to begin in the banquet hall.
533
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,791
Come enjoy the holiday season,
sip some eggnog,
534
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,873
and see everyone's favorite Santa Claus.
535
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,953
[Duke humming "Deck The Halls"]
536
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,555
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪
537
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,840
♪ 'Tis the season ♪
♪ To be jolly fa-la-la... ♪
538
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,319
Hey, uh, whoa, whoa!
539
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,552
Santa, what the hell
do you think you're doin'?
540
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,359
- This is my job.
- Oh, no, no, no. It's not.
541
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,557
I was hired by the corporation
that owns Villa Capri
542
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,314
and 26 other luxury villages
in California.
543
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,479
My party rental company will supply
Santas, Easter Bunnies,
544
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,718
fife and drum trios for the Fourth,
and all holidays through the year.
545
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:49,996
I just signed the contract.
546
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,116
Well, ho, ho, ho.
547
00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:52,953
You're tellin' me
you're a corporate Santa?
548
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,475
- It's a gig.
- It's a sacred trust!
549
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,870
Sacred trust to you.
20 bucks an hour to me.
550
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,956
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
551
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,110
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la... ♪
552
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,276
It's a disgrace.
553
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,433
♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪
554
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,671
Hello, Palms Springs!
Thank you all for comin' out.
555
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,114
Duke's not gonna like this.
556
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,955
- [Burt] Who is this guy?
- [Larry] Here comes the freight train.
557
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,993
I got your ho-ho right here.
558
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,753
[crowd exclaims]
559
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:17,836
[man] Yes!
560
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,317
That ain't the real Santa.
I'm the real Santa.
561
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,831
This guy's a fraud, a phony.
562
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,230
- He's a sleazy, corporate heathen!
- [all shouting]
563
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:35,796
Go, Black Santa!
564
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,837
[all cheering]
565
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,353
[Leo] There ya go! Back to the North Pole!
566
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,598
[overlapping chatter, applause]
567
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,230
What got into you?
568
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,679
I don't like people
fucking with Santa Claus.
569
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,195
[cheers, applause]
570
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:01,511
Arturo.
571
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,031
Here you are, gentlemen.
572
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,750
You, my friend, are a gentleman
and a scholar,
573
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,910
and you are indeed here on business.
574
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,031
Whatever that is.
575
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,634
My business is my business,
576
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,474
but your business seems to be
sitting in a catbird seat
577
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,230
of one-night stands
and Thursday night specials
578
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,680
- and Tuesday nooners.
- [chuckles]
579
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,719
Which holds
no special satisfaction for me.
580
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,356
What? No Tuesday nooners?
581
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,909
I'm not interested in your girlfriends.
582
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:36,958
But I could endure
the courtship of a soulmate.
583
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,276
Appreciate it, thank you.
584
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,154
Good. Good boy.
585
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,951
In fact, the perfect soulmate for me
might very well be Miss Suzie Quince
586
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,436
sitting right there.
587
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,316
You... you know her name?
588
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,356
I move like the wind.
589
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,557
- You mean you met her already?
- At a taco truck.
590
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:55,756
You liar.
591
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,513
Her dog's name is Romeo.
592
00:29:59,080 --> 00:29:59,991
Romeo?
593
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,355
Well, I think Romeo is precisely
what she's looking for tonight.
594
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,955
Santa from the southern hemisphere.
595
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:14,110
If she falls for a drunk Santa Claus,
I've badly misjudged her character.
596
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:16,636
[whispers] Watch this.
597
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:19,595
And I'm not drunk.
598
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:25,677
Hi.
599
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:27,831
Hi.
600
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:32,235
My name is St. Nicholas.
You can call me Nick.
601
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:33,871
Susan.
602
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,874
I was just... I was just doing
some Christmas tree lighting and stuff
603
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,031
with some people who needed some joy.
604
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,195
Well, I guess a half-wit Santa
who does kind deeds
605
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:45,834
for lonely people can't do much harm.
606
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,993
[Duke] Then I'll take that
as an invitation.
607
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,390
Here we are. Christmas season.
608
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:54,436
Nobody's home.
609
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,237
Family long gone. Kids far away.
610
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,678
Is there a husband lurking around?
611
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:02,600
- Hm?
- No.
612
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,718
- First one flew the coop.
- Ah!
613
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,559
Got married again and I flew the coop.
614
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,520
Lots of coops.
615
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,117
- So, you'll never try it again?
- Mm-mm.
616
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,352
I decided my final marriage
would be to my job.
617
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:17,716
That's kind of sad.
618
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,311
It's focused. It's not sad.
619
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,798
You look... sad.
620
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,511
Well, I've been sent here on business
621
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,319
to fire someone before the year is out
622
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,673
during the Christmas season, so...
623
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,680
Well, if a guy is not up to the task,
the quicker you do it, the better, right?
624
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,717
[Suzie] Mm... Yeah.
625
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,359
Season's greetings. Clean out your desk.
626
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,476
That's not so easy.
627
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,519
But at least the music cheers me up.
628
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,271
I love Johnny Mathis.
I have all 42 of his albums.
629
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:53,874
- Really?
- All 42.
630
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,074
Johnny is a good friend of mine.
631
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,278
- Come on!
- No, really.
632
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,680
You know Johnny Mathis?
633
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,316
We're practically brothers.
634
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:07,119
You know, your hair shines like the shun.
635
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,311
The "shun"?
636
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,154
You know, big-ass ball
that rises in the East,
637
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,157
- sets in the San Bernardino mountains.
- Oh, yeah. Okay.
638
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,390
- You know something?
- Huh?
639
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:17,755
- Santa Claus...
- Hey.
640
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,193
I think we need to go. Let this young lady
641
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,634
- have some time to herself.
- Thank you.
642
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:22,756
This is Leo.
643
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,232
- Leo is my buddy.
- Hello, Leo.
644
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,674
Gentleman and a scholar.
645
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,240
I gotta get you outta here, man.
You're drunk.
646
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,438
- I'm not drunk, Leo.
- I know.
647
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,636
- Just overserved.
- Come on.
648
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,717
- Okay, come on.
- I'll see you later.
649
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:35,912
[whispers] I appreciate the intervention,
thank you.
650
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:40,800
Yeah, good boy.
651
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:50,038
You know, I ever tell you
what a gentleman and a scholar you are?
652
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,634
Yeah, you did. You did.
653
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,279
Get your ass in the truck. [grunts]
654
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:54,919
[Duke] Watch my knees.
655
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,754
They're old knees.
656
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,349
- [Leo grunts]
- Thank you, partner.
657
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:01,231
[Leo sighing]
658
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:02,790
- [Duke slurring indistinctly]
- Thank you.
659
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,076
[Duke] My friend.
660
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:12,311
[Leo sighing]
661
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:16,833
Leo... You are a very mysterious man.
662
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,639
I just play my cards close, that's all.
663
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,153
No, I mean...
I mean, I mean you're easy to talk to.
664
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:24,831
Hm?
665
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:30,589
And I got a big secret. Ginormous secret.
666
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,237
- You wanna hear it?
- No, not really, no.
667
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:34,674
Seriously, Leo.
668
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,839
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
669
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:38,550
You're not a serious man.
670
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,120
A serious man would
not have behaved himself
671
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,078
in front of Miss Suzie Quince
the way you did.
672
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:43,391
What?
673
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:49,916
[chuckles] You're just jealous
because she was so receptive. You...
674
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,237
You are not as charming
as you think you are.
675
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,071
Hey...
676
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,598
agree to disagree, babe.
677
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:58,356
[chuckling]
678
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,431
- I need a cup of coffee.
- You need a new liver.
679
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,280
[Duke] You should have seen
what she was doin' with her eyes.
680
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,272
[Leo] I did. She was looking for an exit.
681
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,357
♪ Silent night ♪
682
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,838
♪ Holy night ♪
683
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,911
♪ All is calm ♪
684
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,393
♪ All is bright ♪
685
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,520
♪ 'Round yon virgin... ♪
686
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,555
Duke, you still rule
this one side of town.
687
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,359
- [Duke] Yeah.
- [Larry] Kick corporate's ass.
688
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,470
Leo's, uh, a pretty good guy.
689
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,516
[Duke] To the status quo.
690
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,956
- The way we've always done things.
- [door opens]
691
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,190
- Status quo.
- Duke.
692
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:41,430
- [Duke] What?
- Boss is here.
693
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,354
The hell are you talkin' about?
I'm the boss.
694
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,716
I mean, the regional director.
695
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,634
Oh, yeah. Send his sorry-ass in.
696
00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:49,631
[dog barks]
697
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,035
[upbeat music playing]
698
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,115
- [growl]
- [Suzie] Hello,
699
00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,357
I'm Suzie Quince, regional director.
700
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,791
I... thought...
I thought you said you were...
701
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:11,078
sent down here to evaluate
somebody's job performance,
702
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,790
maybe fire them before the year was out?
703
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:17,197
When you're not Santa Claus,
are you Duke Diver?
704
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,475
- Probably.
- Well, when a man's not up to the task,
705
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,519
it's best to get it over with quick.
706
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,916
[all protesting]
707
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,720
Guys, guys, why don't you go out
and practice
708
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,156
your shuffleboard stroke or something?
709
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:31,990
[grumbles]
710
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,437
There are many, many irregularities.
711
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,433
You're damn right,
and I got one I wanna report right now.
712
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,351
Please do.
713
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:47,595
They sent us a very, very bad Santa Claus.
I wanna know who hired him.
714
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:48,591
I did.
715
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:50,111
I made a deal
716
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,920
with a national party rental firm
to service all our outlets.
717
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,479
- Our outlets?
- [Suzie] Yes.
718
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,509
Lady, this is our home.
719
00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:00,436
We have a way of doing things
here... that work.
720
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,318
This isn't your company, Mr. Diver.
721
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,040
- Protocols are not being followed.
- [shouting] Protocols?
722
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:06,835
Everybody's happy here.
723
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,118
Aren't you happy?
And happiness is not a condition, lady.
724
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,557
- It's a choice.
- No! Okay. Well, you know what?
725
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,871
I don't need your pop psychology,
Dr. Phil.
726
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,236
And don't knock Dr. Phil.
He's a personal friend of mine.
727
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,638
[laughing] Oh, Johnny Mathis and Dr. Phil.
728
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:21,915
[laughs mockingly]
729
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,433
[scoffs] You're an unhappy woman.
730
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,759
And you're wrong about me.
731
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,957
Well, happiness can be found
in a lot of places
732
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,640
including a fine bar late at night.
733
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:32,991
Alone?
734
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:34,949
- Jimmy?
- Hm?
735
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,834
Have the bookkeeper gather
all records, receipts, contracts,
736
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,718
and have them on my desk in the morning
737
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,113
along with every piece of paper
that Duke Diver ever signed.
738
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,354
Uh, you want every single one?
739
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,272
Every single one.
740
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,073
I suppose you want a tour.
741
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:55,719
Of the entire operation.
742
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:57,711
[sing-song] Romeo.
743
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,070
- [Romeo growls, barks]
- [mouthing] Oh shit!
744
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:07,994
[Jimmy] I think you're going to be
very impressed
745
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,474
with what we have going on here.
746
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,195
[tango music playing]
747
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,319
[Suzie] Oh, tango.
748
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:15,631
Duke's idea.
749
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:16,631
[Chinese music playing]
750
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,517
[Suzie] Oh, tai chi.
751
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,080
Also Duke's idea.
752
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,518
Now, I think you're going to be
especially impressed with this.
753
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,030
- [lecturer] This is very important...
- This is our regular Thursday class.
754
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,271
Real sex, loving sex,
755
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,751
affectionate, tender, nasty, dirty sex
756
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:38,038
still must be part of your daily
existence.
757
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,840
The older we get, the better it gets.
758
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,116
[applause]
759
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:44,431
Duke's idea.
760
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:45,870
Catching on.
761
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,680
In defense of Mr. Diver,
this place is always packed.
762
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,320
Last week we had this expert on group sex,
and he said that the...
763
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,518
Oh... there's experts on that?
764
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:56,837
Yes.
765
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,114
And he was very,
766
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:01,356
very good.
767
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:03,991
- [barks]
- Okay.
768
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,391
I know that you feel
like you might have seen enough, but
769
00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:08,837
I promise you this place
is absolutely wonderful.
770
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,513
The rocks. You can see
the rock formations.
771
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,120
I don't know if you've studied geology,
772
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,398
but I just, I really hope you can
come to love it here the way we all do.
773
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,193
I mean, Duke is doing a great job.
774
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:19,396
- If you could just...
- [barks]
775
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,559
[Suzie] It really is beautiful out here.
776
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:25,231
Leo.
777
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,675
Oh shit! Oh, this is bad.
778
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,194
This is gonna be bad!
779
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,594
[Leo] There was some blue in there.
780
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:38,436
That's stunning.
781
00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:39,631
Yes, you are.
782
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:41,630
[chuckles]
783
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:46,760
So, uh, you rescue damsels in distress,
you're a poet, and you paint.
784
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,559
I'm exploring my feminine side.
785
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,670
So, uh, are you friends with Duke Diver?
Seems like an odd combination.
786
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:55,989
Friend is a very strong word.
787
00:38:58,520 --> 00:38:59,317
It's primal.
788
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:00,920
Yeah. It is.
789
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,195
[Duke] Son of a bitch, what is he up to?
790
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,910
I thought you said
you had to uncover enough irregularities
791
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,275
so you could fire me.
792
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,520
Well, I'm still reviewing the books.
793
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,080
Your friend's a painter.
794
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:18,991
[Duke] Who knew?
795
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,560
[Leo] It's the San Jacinto mountains.
796
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,791
- It's the what?
- It's the San Jacinto mountains.
797
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:24,117
[laughs]
798
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,112
If this is the San Jacinto mountains,
799
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:27,920
Bob Hope's house is right here.
800
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,719
I'm not puttin'
Bob Hope's house in my picture.
801
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,473
Thought it would make it better,
if you'd ask me.
802
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,791
No. Do you see the influence of Cézanne...
803
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,236
...I owe everything to Cézanne.
804
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,836
Oh, I see a little more expressionism
than impressionism.
805
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,550
A little bit more Kirchner than Cézanne.
806
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:46,953
Maybe just a tiny touch
of Friedensreich Hundertwasser.
807
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,759
I remind you of Friedrich Hundertwasser?
808
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,676
Hm. I may have to reassess my own work.
809
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,956
I'll assess it: This is shit!
810
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,073
Romeo? Romeo!
811
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,072
- [Romeo growling]
- Oh, no, no!
812
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,355
- [coyote howls]
- [Romeo whimpers]
813
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,111
[Suzie] Oh, God!
814
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:05,431
[coyote yelps]
815
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,431
[whimpers]
816
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,196
[Suzie] Romeo!
817
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:12,116
Thank you.
818
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,836
Oh, Leo, thank you.
819
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,071
Oh, Romeo. Thank you so much.
820
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,072
Hop in the truck
and I will take you to the vet.
821
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,071
[Suzie] Oh, Leo!
822
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:23,990
Mr. Hero.
823
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,750
There. Bob Hope's house.
824
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,515
Looks better. It's not that damn hard.
825
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,670
[Roberta over PA] I have sad news
to report to the Villa Capri family today.
826
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:49,154
Mike Shank in villa 68
had a massive coronary
827
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,800
late last night while I was visiting.
828
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,956
My presence was a total coincidence.
829
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,914
Great, fellas. This is great.
This is your finest work.
830
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,350
[Joey] Hey, where you been, boss?
831
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,797
Miss Quince.
She wants my neck and Leo's bed.
832
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:04,756
Well, what you gonna do?
833
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:05,751
This is war!
834
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:10,469
Everything I've worked for at Villa Capri,
everything I've built is at stake.
835
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,479
And if the corporation takes over,
836
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,995
our very way of life disappears,
gentlemen.
837
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,879
Miss Quince is evil.
838
00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:20,233
- She is evil, but she's hot.
- What you gonna do, boss?
839
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:25,075
I'm gonna use my legendary charm,
if I may be so humble...
840
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,279
- [Joey] Mm-hm.
- And seduce her.
841
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,192
Give her a bit of the old je ne sais quoi.
842
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:31,475
- [laughter]
- [Larry] That's Spanish, right?
843
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,993
I'm gonna take the corporate starch
outta that woman's knickers.
844
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,070
She deserves it.
845
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,880
And if there's anybody can do it,
it's you, Duke.
846
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,634
But first, Leo McKay.
847
00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:42,631
Mm-hm.
848
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:44,110
I gotta take him down.
849
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,554
- Oh!
- Take him down?
850
00:41:58,280 --> 00:41:59,191
[growls]
851
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,473
Tie his hind legs together
with a pickin' string
852
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,791
so he doesn't scratch those stitches out.
853
00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:12,950
- Uh, pickin' string?
- Yarn. It's soft, a knitting yarn.
854
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,590
Oh, well, thanks. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
855
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:19,110
I have to get back
and do the company survey.
856
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,999
[chuckles] You take your work seriously
and I respect that.
857
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,675
Yeah. Thank you again. I so appreciate it.
858
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:26,671
Yes, ma'am.
859
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:39,791
Now what?
860
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:41,630
Renaissance Man.
861
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:42,957
[scoffs]
862
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,311
What else do you do?
863
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,912
I'm on a journey of self-discovery
and exploration...
864
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,275
Oh, shut up!
865
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:51,991
[chuckles]
866
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,994
Villa Capri is not big enough
for both of us, Leo.
867
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,920
If you wanna do somethin' about that,
868
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,196
I'll beat you the best of five
of anything ever invented.
869
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,279
Game room. One hour.
870
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,559
- I'm not getting fired because you...
- Make the call.
871
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:09,551
...forgot to make the call.
872
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:10,915
No! I don't care if they call you...
873
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,354
- [Suzie] Oh, good! We're all here.
- [both] Hey!
874
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,751
Time to sharpen the knives,
circle the wagons,
875
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,911
- pull up our bootstraps and buckle down.
- Hey.
876
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,480
It's all here, Miss Quince.
877
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,074
Great. Okay.
878
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,878
So, when exactly does Duke get petty cash?
879
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,839
Wh... whenever he asks for it.
I... I just go and...
880
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,913
Whenever he asks for it?
881
00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:36,870
You know what?
This company is not his personal ATM.
882
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,077
Look, Duke is an honorable man.
883
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,755
I'm sure you're not going
to find anything that... whoa!
884
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,160
Hm, my God!
885
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,678
Honorable. What do you call these?
886
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,389
Size 14, lots of fun.
887
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:49,950
You want to audit those, too?
888
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,320
You know what? I just might.
889
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:58,960
Miss Quince will never fall for your...
transparent... dishonor.
890
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,556
My dishonor, I'll have you know,
is not transparent.
891
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:13,391
[grunts]
892
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,190
- I wonder if he could lift me like that.
- Oh, my...
893
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,759
- In my trap.
- I counter!
894
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:25,311
[crowd exclaims]
895
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:26,671
[grunts]
896
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,834
- This ain't in your wheelhouse, boss.
- [shushes]
897
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,832
- [Leo] Don't go there.
- What do you mean, "Don't go there"?
898
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,594
- Your mama said don't go there last night!
- [laughter]
899
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,557
- Checkmate!
- [crowd] Oh!
900
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:39,154
[overlapping chatter]
901
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:40,919
[ping pong ball tapping]
902
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,235
[crowd] Oh!
903
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:48,915
[crowd cheers]
904
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:51,919
I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!
905
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:54,755
- [Larry] You've got it?
- [Joey] You got it?
906
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,593
- [Larry] You got it! You...
- [Joey] Got it!
907
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:58,829
- [Joey] You don't got it.
- [grunts] Take it.
908
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,276
Take it, take it, take it!
909
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:03,913
The score is tied, Mr. Diver.
910
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,992
Choose your game to finish this.
911
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,711
Limbo!
912
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,234
- [Larry] Limbo!
- Wow!
913
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:11,390
- Oh, we got him!
- [whistle trills]
914
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,000
I said stop that!
915
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:14,790
You first.
916
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:15,916
[cheers and shouts]
917
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,229
[calypso music playing]
918
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,111
[overlapping chatter]
919
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,559
He can do it, he can do it!
920
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:29,116
- [bones cracking]
- [groans]
921
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,157
This is bullshit!
922
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,272
I'll take that as a pass. [laughs]
923
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:37,120
Music!
924
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:38,839
[crowd cheers]
925
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:39,831
[music continues]
926
00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:02,151
[crowd exclaims]
927
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,753
[crowd cheers]
928
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:20,950
Disqualification!
929
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,509
His knees touched the ground.
I'm starting a protest!
930
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,637
[cheers]
931
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,391
[music stops]
932
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,190
Meet me in your office
tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock.
933
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:35,831
Sharp.
934
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,354
[Elizabeth McQueen,
"You, Me and a Christmas Tree" playing]
935
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,072
♪ You, me and a Christmas tree ♪
936
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,275
♪ Is all I want this year ♪
937
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,596
♪ Just me, you and a tree will do ♪
938
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,835
♪ Oh, just to have you near ♪
939
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,838
♪ Beneath the twinkling lights ♪
940
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,154
♪ And shiny colored balls ♪
941
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,839
♪ We'll make our holiday delight ♪
942
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,071
♪ While little pine needles fall ♪
943
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,071
[whooping]
944
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:13,996
Well, he's late.
945
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,352
That is very unusual.
946
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:17,760
Duke is very punctual.
947
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,554
Jimmy, Ginger, why don't you guys
take the morning off?
948
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:24,631
Why don't you not
and just sit right there.
949
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:27,235
- This is business.
- Oh, come on. A little bit of the bubbly.
950
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,118
Oh, no, that's not appropriate.
951
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:32,751
Maison de Chocolat... [speaking French]
952
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,594
Come on. Try it.
953
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,355
This... this is about receipts and
954
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:40,837
and contracts.
955
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:42,792
Oh, it's nutty and dark.
956
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,992
[chuckles] Maybe I'll take...
I'll take a couple for later.
957
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:47,351
Thank you.
958
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,352
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
- Good, good, good.
959
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,638
- Now, it, it, it all adds up.
- Oh, no. It doesn't.
960
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,118
Two thousand dollars for camel rental.
961
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:56,595
[chuckles]
962
00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:59,760
How do you think the Three Wise Men
got to Bethlehem?
963
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,995
What does Palm Springs
have to do with Bethlehem?
964
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,992
Bethlehem was just like this.
965
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:09,720
Palm trees, warm breezes,
people walkin' around in shirtsleeves.
966
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:14,192
Not this snow-covered bullshit
dreamed up by Hallmark Cards.
967
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:15,396
I like the snow.
968
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:19,197
Would you deprive the residents
of Villa Capri of their dromedaries?
969
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,078
Are you a dromedary depriver?
970
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:22,480
- Okay, forget the camels.
- [Duke scoffs]
971
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,432
The Gentlemen's Club.
Dancers. Right there. Dancers.
972
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:29,432
Yeah. Well, they were strippers.
973
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,273
Oh, I knew it!
974
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:32,874
No, no! No, no, no! They were sweet.
975
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:37,079
They were... they were sweet.
They made the men feel young and virile.
976
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,277
Even taught the ladies
a couple of tricks, and...
977
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:40,999
- and I can vouch for that.
- Ew.
978
00:48:42,240 --> 00:48:43,469
[Suzie] Golf clubs.
979
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,313
Personal. Fourteen hundred dollars.
980
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,909
Probably brought in
about a million dollars' worth of business
981
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,513
hosting potential buyers
on the golf course.
982
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:52,631
- Duke...
- Hm?
983
00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:54,473
It's the corporation's petty cash.
984
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:57,398
You are apparently unfamiliar
985
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:01,992
with US Tax Codes special addendum 44(b),
parts three and seven
986
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:06,440
which define explicitly those,
and I quote,
987
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:10,350
"reasonable expenses pertaining
to a business's ongoing operation."
988
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,275
- Subparagraph 12, "whereas in the..."
- [shushes] Stop it!
989
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:17,751
Okay.
990
00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:20,550
Just... want to know,
991
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,000
are you keeping your heart open for me
like I am for you?
992
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,640
Um, Duke? I don't even know who you are.
993
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,033
Actually, I can't even find
you in the national corporate database.
994
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,233
Oh, well, basically,
if I don't exist, what?
995
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,358
- Does that mean we're finished?
- No, we haven't even started.
996
00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:44,157
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Anyway, I... I gotta go and get ready
997
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:45,720
- for the big Christmas Eve party.
- Wh... wh...
998
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:49,999
And have I got a surprise for you! [sighs]
999
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:53,636
I don't want a surprise.
1000
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,555
- I'm sure it's very nice.
- You shut up!
1001
00:49:58,440 --> 00:49:59,715
[big band music playing]
1002
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:02,873
[announcer] And now, ladies and gentlemen,
1003
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,031
we invite you to please
put your hands together
1004
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:09,956
and give it up
for our beloved leader, Duke Diver.
1005
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,360
- [applause]
- Hello, everybody.
1006
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,711
- [laughs]
- [cheering]
1007
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:19,160
Merry Christmas!
1008
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:23,673
Mer-ry Christmas!
1009
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,160
And I'm saying it like that
1010
00:50:25,240 --> 00:50:27,357
because this is really
a special Christmas today,
1011
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:32,310
and I think this is going to be one
you will remember far into your future
1012
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:33,720
which I hope is very long.
1013
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:34,751
[chuckles]
1014
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:40,712
But this Christmas is uh, very special
to me because I want to dedicate it.
1015
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:42,998
I want to dedicate it
to a very special lady.
1016
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,959
Her name is Miss Suzie Quince,
wherever she is.
1017
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,273
[chuckles] There she is!
1018
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:51,159
Miss Quince,
would you mind stepping forward
1019
00:50:51,240 --> 00:50:52,435
so we know who you are?
1020
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,477
Please, just a couple of steps forward.
1021
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,353
Here she is, ladies and gentlemen.
1022
00:50:58,840 --> 00:50:59,751
Hi.
1023
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,993
On this special day
in this special season, Susan,
1024
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:06,592
I'm dedicating this one to you.
1025
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:08,954
Ladies and gentlemen,
1026
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:11,315
Johnny Mathis!
1027
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,080
[cheers, applause]
1028
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:17,793
- Holy shit! Did you see that?
- Atta boy, Dukie!
1029
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:19,030
You did it again!
1030
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,794
It's good to see you, my friend.
Welcome, welcome.
1031
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:23,640
I'll be on the piano for you.
1032
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:24,871
This is gonna go well.
1033
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,318
Okay. Thank you. Hi, guys. All right.
1034
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,030
[piano music]
1035
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:39,640
♪ Sleigh bells ring are ya listenin' ♪
1036
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,596
♪ In the lane snow is glistenin' ♪
1037
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,637
♪ A beautiful sight we're happy tonight ♪
1038
00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:51,119
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland... ♪
1039
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:52,759
I'm walkin', baby.
1040
00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:59,032
Does Roberta have a little Beyoncé
thing goin' on tonight or am I hammered?
1041
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,680
Well, she does, but you are hammered.
1042
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:02,637
Put a ring on it.
1043
00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:03,631
Boys...
1044
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:06,880
boys, it's time to make our move.
1045
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:11,479
[mouths] Ms. Marguerite. You and me?
1046
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:14,280
♪ Then pretend that he is ♪
♪ Parson Brown ♪
1047
00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:16,915
Come on.
1048
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:20,719
♪ But you can do the job ♪
♪ When you're in town ♪
1049
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:21,995
I see you.
1050
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:29,353
♪ Later on we'll conspire ♪
♪ As we dream by the fire ♪
1051
00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:34,077
♪ To face unafraid ♪
♪ The plans that we made ♪
1052
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,638
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪
1053
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:44,874
♪ Over the ground lies a mantle of white ♪
1054
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:50,316
♪ A heaven of diamonds ♪
♪ Shine down through the night ♪
1055
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:53,432
Miss Quince, may I have
the pleasure of this dance?
1056
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:54,920
Yes, absolutely.
1057
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:55,956
[giggles]
1058
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:59,033
♪ When it snows ♪
1059
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:00,156
[Suzie] Oh, you're good!
1060
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:01,749
[Leo] Oh, I'm not that good,
1061
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:04,400
- I just try real hard.
- [Suzie] Yes you are, you're really good.
1062
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,757
I've gotta tell ya,
you're light on your feet. [laughs]
1063
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:11,880
♪ We'll frolic and play ♪
♪ The Eskimo way ♪
1064
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,116
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
1065
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:16,953
- [Duke clears throat] My turn.
- Have some respect for the lady.
1066
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,919
- Gentlemen, gentlemen.
- There's only one gentleman here.
1067
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:21,514
- Stop the music!
- [Suzie gasps]
1068
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:22,590
[microphone feedback]
1069
00:53:22,720 --> 00:53:24,439
You makin' a fool of yourself, Duke.
1070
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,000
I'm callin' your hand.
1071
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:31,711
[breathless] We're gonna play
18 holes of golf, right?
1072
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:33,794
Winner... [groans]
1073
00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:38,436
- Christmas morning.
- Bring your A-game.
1074
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:42,070
A-game? [breathless]
I'm gonna kick your ass with one hand!
1075
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:45,117
Oh, no.
1076
00:53:45,240 --> 00:53:46,993
[murmured conversation]
1077
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,238
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1078
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,516
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
1079
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,117
♪ O'er the fields we go ♪
1080
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,999
♪ Laughing all the way ha-ha-ha ♪
1081
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,117
♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪
1082
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,114
[chuckles] It's madness. It's all madness.
1083
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,718
Leo can play for real.
1084
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,075
It doesn't matter. We got your back, boss.
1085
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,880
Yeah, even if you're outta bounds,
I got the foot mashie going.
1086
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:25,271
And I got a hole in my pocket
and a half dozen extra balls.
1087
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:26,350
[laughter]
1088
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,830
- And I got a short game.
- [laughter]
1089
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:30,320
[Joey] We got you rigged to win!
1090
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:31,800
[Burt] Ah, we got you covered.
1091
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,075
[Larry] I wouldn't even worry about it.
1092
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:34,913
Cowboy and the playboy.
1093
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:36,838
- I got my money on the playboy.
- All right, all right.
1094
00:54:37,240 --> 00:54:38,117
Ladies and gentlemen,
1095
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,750
this morning's contest
will be 18 holes of match play golf
1096
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:46,433
between Mr. Diver and Mr. McKay,
according to official USGA rules.
1097
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,876
Now, I just wanna say before we begin
1098
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,520
that even though
there can only be one winner...
1099
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,597
Oh, shut up!
I think I have the honors here.
1100
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:54,631
- Yep.
- [Larry] Oh,
1101
00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:55,631
we're starting to kick it now!
1102
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:57,396
[Duke chuckles]
1103
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,114
- [all] Oh!
- [applause]
1104
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:04,395
[Joey] Son of a bitch!
1105
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:06,398
- [Larry] Holy!
- [applause continues]
1106
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,398
[Burt] All right, baby!
1107
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:11,153
[Burt] All right, Duke. Have at it.
1108
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,917
[Larry] Show us what you got.
Come on, let it rip.
1109
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:14,911
Quiet, please!
1110
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:17,675
[Larry] You don't gotta tell me
to shut up. Let it rip, boss. Let it rip.
1111
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,077
Leo, pay attention. One hand.
1112
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:24,954
- One hand.
- Waggling.
1113
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:25,951
[Roberta] Yes.
1114
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,319
- [all] Yes! Yes!
- [overlapping chatter]
1115
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,873
- [applause]
- [Larry] Let's go! Let's go!
1116
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,840
Ow! That's how you do it!
1117
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:35,718
[Joey] Right down the fairway!
1118
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:37,511
["Deck The Halls" playing]
1119
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:41,840
- Yes!
- Uh-huh.
1120
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,116
- [Burt] Yeah! Yeah!
- [Joey] Feelin' it!
1121
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,631
[Joey] No, no problem.
I got this, I got this.
1122
00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:07,120
[applause]
1123
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:13,875
Yes, Duke!
1124
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:21,711
[Jimmy] Settle.
1125
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,755
- [Larry] Damn, smoother...
- [Burt] Oh, good break!
1126
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:31,751
[music continues]
1127
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,595
That ball is out of bounds.
1128
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,239
- Huh?
- Out of bounds.
1129
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:50,993
Lucky bounce. Must have hit a tree.
1130
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:52,912
- [chuckles]
- [applause]
1131
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:55,236
[Joey] Oh!
1132
00:56:55,720 --> 00:56:56,870
[Larry] Yeah, great shot,
great shot, chief!
1133
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,076
[Burt] All right, Duke, have at it!
1134
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,272
- [Larry] Oh, boy.
- [Burt] You're lookin' real good.
1135
00:57:00,720 --> 00:57:03,758
Oh, cowboy, what you gonna do now, cowboy?
1136
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,639
All right. This is bullshit.
1137
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,356
- What you talkin' about?
- It's bullshit.
1138
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,830
Are you accusing me of conduct
unbecoming a man of my reputation?
1139
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:17,755
I am accusing you of conduct
consistent with a man of your reputation.
1140
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,194
You been cheatin' all day long.
1141
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:22,997
And if I'm keepin' the score correctly,
1142
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:25,754
you will have to hole that ball
on that green to beat me.
1143
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:27,431
Okay.
1144
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:28,757
Okay.
1145
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:29,996
[Joey] You got this shot.
1146
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:31,831
[Duke] Watch this.
1147
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:35,315
Tell you what, why don't we, uh,
1148
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:37,357
run up here right quick
and read the green.
1149
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,959
- [Joey] Great thinking.
- Not so fast.
1150
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,120
I don't trust you and I never will.
1151
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:43,760
[Larry] Ah, we plum-bobbing that!
1152
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,593
I'm keepin' my eye on you, man,
just like a hawk.
1153
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:47,551
- God damn!
- [screams]
1154
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:49,031
Oh shit! Oh shit!
1155
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,316
- [Leo] Everybody all right?
- [Duke] Shit!
1156
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:53,834
They found me! They found me!
1157
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:55,320
- [Leo] Everyone's okay.
- [Jimmy] Are you okay?
1158
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,517
- [screams]
- [Leo] Stay calm. Stay calm.
1159
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,114
We'll have the EMS here in a minute.
1160
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:00,431
[Larry] Holy shit!
1161
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:02,240
Probably just a gasoline leak.
1162
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,720
It's an electric cart!
1163
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,678
[Burt] Where's my hat? Where's my hat?
1164
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:06,637
[Larry] Where you goin'?
1165
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:07,631
[upbeat music playing]
1166
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:17,230
[exhales]
1167
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:37,269
[knock on door]
1168
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:39,990
You want a taste?
1169
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,591
[Leo] It's Leo, and I don't want a taste.
Open up.
1170
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:43,591
Leo?
1171
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,040
You forfeit. I win the golf match.
1172
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:54,839
You can have the damn golf match.
1173
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:56,356
Somebody wants me dead!
1174
00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:57,760
Who wants you dead? Who are you?
1175
00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,071
It... it's, a...
1176
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:01,797
So, I'm the trophy for a golf match.
1177
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,076
I mean, it's not the first time
men have fought over me.
1178
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:06,913
Which one of you children is winning?
1179
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,754
No, no, no.
We... we... we're not fighting over you.
1180
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:11,520
That would be sexist and outrageous.
1181
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,115
No, we're fighting
over the right to court you.
1182
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:15,031
There's a difference?
1183
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,271
These are fine distinctions that men make.
1184
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,716
Yeah, yeah, we... you misunderstood.
1185
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,675
We honor, praise and glorify you.
1186
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,513
No criminal intent on Duke's part,
1187
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:25,954
it's just Duke being Duke.
1188
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:27,151
Thank you, Leo.
1189
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:28,879
Do you men hear yourselves?
1190
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,832
- No.
- Sh... should we?
1191
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,636
Excuse me. I trust I've made my point.
1192
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:39,273
Oh, by the way, did you hear a loud boom
a few minutes ago?
1193
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:42,399
- Uh-uh.
- No, no.
1194
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:44,631
[Leo] You?
1195
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,834
Corporate's up my ass
and you're both lying to me.
1196
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:50,834
You better report this
to the county sheriff.
1197
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,037
Oh, no, no. No, Leo, I beg you.
1198
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:54,600
Don't take this to the law.
1199
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,317
Leo. Leo! Leo, where you going?
1200
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,118
Leo, it's not safe for me
around here anymore.
1201
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:05,795
- You've got to get me the hell outta here.
- Why would I do that for you?
1202
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,312
Because you don't want bloody chunks of me
1203
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,312
raining all over Villa Capri!
1204
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,312
All right, I'll get you outta here
but on one condition.
1205
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,631
You tell me everything. No more bullshit.
1206
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:16,837
Now, why would I bullshit you, Leo?
1207
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:18,991
Okay. Bloody chunks it is.
1208
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:22,357
Uh, okay, okay. Okay.
No... no more bullshit.
1209
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:25,160
You blew up a golf cart?
1210
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:26,830
And he wasn't in it?
1211
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:29,951
[sighs]
1212
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,794
No, it is not your fault.
1213
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,839
Your... your... your father
never let you murder anyone.
1214
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:42,675
No, he... he always said
that you did the best digging.
1215
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:44,315
But sweetheart,
1216
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,958
how many men did you bury
from snakebites and bombs?
1217
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:49,750
Zero!
1218
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:51,998
They all died from bullet holes!
1219
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:56,154
So go get some bullets,
and do it like your father used to do it!
1220
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:58,072
[upbeat music playing]
1221
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:02,950
Who the hell are you?
1222
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:05,236
My real name is William J. DuPrees.
1223
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,717
I was known for many years as Sweet Willy.
1224
01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:13,758
I was chief counsel for the Bruno family.
1225
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:14,751
Mob.
1226
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:19,836
Until I learned that they weren't really
in the trucking business.
1227
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:23,197
And then Feds came around
and offered me a choice.
1228
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,476
- And?
- I rolled over like a trained show dog.
1229
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:30,079
The problem was there was this crazy wife
and a crazier son, even,
1230
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,591
who threatened to kill me at the trial.
1231
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:36,232
And then when the brakes went out
on my car a week later,
1232
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:38,552
around came the Feds again...
1233
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,074
And you went into witness protection.
1234
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:43,358
And turned it into an art form,
if I may say so myself.
1235
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:45,590
Did you ever change your appearance?
1236
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:48,596
And mess with this?
1237
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:50,436
I don't think so.
1238
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:52,437
The Feds will take care of you.
1239
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,229
- Yeah! They'll relocate me.
- So what?
1240
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,712
So, I don't want to be relocated!
1241
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,513
I got it made at the Villa Capri.
1242
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,351
Everything a man could want is there!
1243
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,080
It is my vision that made it
what it is today.
1244
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:12,079
Sex, booze, golf... and then you die.
1245
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:14,198
Heaven's gonna be
a disappointment to you, man.
1246
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:17,717
Come on, Leo.
Help me save what I've built.
1247
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:19,870
[gunshots]
1248
01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:23,154
- Shit!
- [Leo] Nobody messes with my truck!
1249
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:25,231
Shot my truck!
1250
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:27,880
Oh, hell! He's tryin' to kill me
and you're worried about a truck?
1251
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:28,871
Hang on.
1252
01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:31,553
[dramatic music playing]
1253
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:43,591
Shit! Shit!
1254
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:55,316
- Shit!
- [grunts]
1255
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,277
Let's just regroup
and... and... and make a plan.
1256
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:05,999
I'm gonna cut the sumbitch off.
1257
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:22,152
- [Duke] This is a really bad idea, Leo.
- Watch this.
1258
01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:26,800
[truck sputters]
1259
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:29,839
[Duke] Nice work, Leo.
Glad I didn't blink.
1260
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:33,279
- [engine hissing]
- [Leo muttering] Damn it.
1261
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:42,113
This is my brand-new, F-150, 4x4,
1262
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:47,400
ruby red, extended cab,
custom bedliner truck!
1263
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:53,758
I guess we're going to have to inform
Miss Quince of these developments.
1264
01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,400
Yeah. Her job's at stake.
1265
01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:00,754
[mellow music playing]
1266
01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,553
You got a special feelin' for her,
don't you?
1267
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,559
From the moment I first saw her,
1268
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:12,472
there was something
about Miss Suzie Quince
1269
01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:15,120
that got the hair
on the back of my neck standing up.
1270
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:16,350
[chuckles]
1271
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:17,716
Nothin' finer.
1272
01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:20,596
In the whole wide world than a good woman.
1273
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,550
I dig the female species...
1274
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:25,074
Smells sweeter than a honeysuckle.
1275
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,959
Smarter than hell, firm as a biscuit.
1276
01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:29,231
Firm as a biscuit?
1277
01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:32,240
Biscuit, fresh out of the oven.
1278
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,679
Oh, yeah. Butter melting. [chuckles]
1279
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:39,956
- You see my point.
- Ah, yes, indeed.
1280
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:45,436
The sun, the moon, and the stars, Leo.
That's what a good woman is to me.
1281
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:51,994
♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪
♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪
1282
01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:59,114
♪ Peace on Earth and mercy mild ♪
♪ God and sinners reconciled ♪
1283
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:03,471
Go on.
1284
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:05,431
What goes next?
1285
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:07,989
[laughter]
1286
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:08,991
[both] With.
1287
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,280
What is it? With...
1288
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:13,560
Romantic joy proclaim?
1289
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,516
Proclaim.
1290
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:19,112
♪ Christ was born in Bethlehem ♪
1291
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,718
♪ Hark! the herald angels sing ♪
1292
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:27,671
♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪
1293
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:32,394
You had a rifle and a scope
and you missed him?
1294
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:36,600
[sighs] Oh, Oscar,
just stop trying to kill him.
1295
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,160
Just bring him to me and I'll do it.
1296
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:40,553
[scoffs, continues indistinctly]
1297
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:42,991
[sighs]
1298
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,715
Why am I not surprised
you're in witness protection
1299
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:50,069
and somebody's trying to kill you?
1300
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:52,756
- Yep, that's him. Yeah.
- The animal guy, right there.
1301
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:56,193
Sheep. Camels.
Did they have a snake? Probably.
1302
01:05:57,280 --> 01:05:59,317
I thought he looked vaguely familiar.
1303
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:01,395
Now I recognize him.
1304
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:05,078
That's Oscar Bruno,
one of the mob boss's sons.
1305
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:07,911
[Suzie] He could have
just knocked on your door and shot you.
1306
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,196
Surveillance cameras.
He didn't wanna be ID'd.
1307
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:12,789
No. He figured he could just come
and go with the animals.
1308
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:17,038
Leo wants to turn me over to the Feds.
1309
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:19,833
Oh, God! No, please.
1310
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:23,910
Tell the police, and suddenly
the Villa Capri is crawling with cops!
1311
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:27,112
I mean, can't you just, like,
track him down?
1312
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:28,270
He's a bad guy. Just...
1313
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,634
you know, snuff him out
like way off the radar.
1314
01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:34,280
I don't snuff people out,
off or on the radar.
1315
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:36,114
[Suzie quietly] Oh, God. I know.
1316
01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:37,471
[sighs]
1317
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:40,156
Okay, guys, look, I... I have a confession.
1318
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:44,717
The last couple times corporate sent me
to fix a problem,
1319
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:47,759
something crazy happened.
Things got worse.
1320
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:52,999
I'm starting to like this place,
but I'm on a short leash here.
1321
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:55,790
If this gets public,
it could cost me my job.
1322
01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:59,640
Please... Leo...
1323
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:01,552
And, he shot your damn truck.
1324
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,196
- [Leo] Hmm.
- He shot your truck?
1325
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:08,111
You're both right.
We're goin' after this guy.
1326
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:09,636
Yes!
1327
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:11,999
[upbeat music playing]
1328
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:20,800
What the hell is this about?
1329
01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:23,918
He knows my new truck,
but he doesn't know this shitty van.
1330
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,231
Oh. [chuckles]
1331
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:27,796
That's clever.
1332
01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:31,160
I think you and I could become
cherished friends, Leo.
1333
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:32,151
Shut up.
1334
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:33,590
[music continues]
1335
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:39,198
[rattling]
1336
01:07:44,960 --> 01:07:47,111
[donkey braying]
1337
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,240
Fit perfect in a golf bag.
1338
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:07,751
Can I help you guys?
1339
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,036
- Can they get out?
- Yep, every now and then.
1340
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:12,635
You might wanna think
about a deeper trough.
1341
01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:15,357
Deeper trough. Yeah, good thinkin'.
1342
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:17,314
Duke, what brings you out here?
1343
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:19,990
Were, uh, lookin' for a guy.
1344
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:23,471
Oscar. Strange fella.
1345
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:24,631
Where is he now?
1346
01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:25,870
He quit yesterday.
1347
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:30,310
Said he had found what
he was lookin' for and walked out.
1348
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:31,311
Leave an address?
1349
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:33,313
He lived in a motel, I think.
1350
01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:36,793
- Motel...
- You got any idea which motel?
1351
01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:40,274
- Made it sound like the French Quarter.
- French Quarter?
1352
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:41,316
- Something like that.
- Got it.
1353
01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:49,079
Manager says he's still livin' here.
1354
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:50,711
Unit 15.
1355
01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:53,714
So when he shows up, we jump him,
1356
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,514
we hand him over to the Feds,
1357
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:57,796
and he goes up the river forever, right?
1358
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,076
- No, no. We don't jump him.
- What do you mean?
1359
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:01,231
I do.
1360
01:09:03,360 --> 01:09:05,829
- So just relax.
- Yeah, okay...
1361
01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:14,077
Sixth grade was traumatic.
1362
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:16,394
I ran for class president.
1363
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:18,831
Lost.
1364
01:09:19,480 --> 01:09:23,713
[chuckles] I got one vote... my own.
1365
01:09:23,800 --> 01:09:27,510
In high school,
I tried bribing my classmates, but...
1366
01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:29,150
Crushed again.
1367
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:30,876
Yeah.
1368
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,237
Witness protection turned my life around.
1369
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:36,555
You got a fresh start
on the back nine of life.
1370
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:38,714
Reinvented myself.
1371
01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:41,917
Was goin' pretty good, if you ask me.
1372
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,393
You like me a little, yes?
1373
01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:45,880
You need to be liked?
1374
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:48,711
It may sound pathetic but, [sighs]
1375
01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:51,194
I love to be adored.
1376
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:52,671
You need therapy.
1377
01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:54,796
Never worked before.
1378
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:58,513
Not until now with you.
1379
01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:01,238
Good. You're cured.
1380
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:02,911
[chuckles]
1381
01:10:03,440 --> 01:10:06,672
We should rotate naps
in case it turns into an all-nighter.
1382
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:10,039
Yeah. Well, I'm wide awake
if you wanna take the first one.
1383
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:12,234
I could nod off pretty quick.
1384
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:13,511
Well...
1385
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:17,191
Wake me in one hour
or if anybody shows up.
1386
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,196
- Would you like a song to help you sleep?
- No.
1387
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:39,597
♪ Silent night ♪
1388
01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:44,834
♪ Holy night ♪
1389
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:46,311
I like that one.
1390
01:10:47,480 --> 01:10:52,236
♪ All is calm ♪
1391
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:57,234
♪ All is bright ♪
1392
01:10:57,760 --> 01:10:58,591
[snoring]
1393
01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:00,239
[chuckles]
1394
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:03,434
[breathes deeply]
1395
01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:08,199
[mellow music playing]
1396
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:33,871
[music continues]
1397
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:05,195
[music continues]
1398
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:18,753
- Wake up, Sherlock.
- Hm?
1399
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:20,480
[Leo] You were supposed to wake me up.
1400
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:22,871
Sorry.
1401
01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:25,392
That song always leaves me out.
1402
01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:31,511
Can I help you?
1403
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:33,991
Yeah, the guy in room 15,
what do you know about him?
1404
01:12:34,440 --> 01:12:36,477
A very nice man. Very polite.
1405
01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:37,471
Bullshit.
1406
01:12:37,760 --> 01:12:40,355
There is one thing.
He... loves naked ladies.
1407
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:43,077
I saw him at last week's
Sunday brunch at Rudy's.
1408
01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:44,880
They have a Sunday brunch at a titty bar?
1409
01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:47,513
You gotta try the Belgian waffles there.
1410
01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:54,916
Okay. All right. Go do your business.
Go on, Romeo.
1411
01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:57,635
- That's a good boy! Good boy!
- [Jimmy] Hey, Suzie?
1412
01:12:58,680 --> 01:12:59,511
Suzie?
1413
01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:01,478
- Yeah?
- It's corporate for you.
1414
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:03,119
It's corporate?
1415
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:09,910
Suzie Quince.
1416
01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:12,191
Yes!
1417
01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:14,954
No, no, no...
1418
01:13:15,240 --> 01:13:17,232
I... I'm getting a handle on things.
1419
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:18,549
A firm grasp.
1420
01:13:18,640 --> 01:13:19,630
[Romeo barking]
1421
01:13:19,720 --> 01:13:21,313
[Swamp Dogg, "Silent Night" playing]
1422
01:13:22,520 --> 01:13:24,432
♪ Holy night ♪
1423
01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:27,833
No. I... there are protocols.
I'm following the protocols.
1424
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:30,276
I'm a... I'm a walking protocol.
1425
01:13:30,360 --> 01:13:31,589
[barks]
1426
01:13:31,680 --> 01:13:33,558
- [camel grunting]
- [sheep bleating]
1427
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:38,197
But people just seem to be so happy here,
1428
01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:42,559
and happiness is not a condition.
It's a choice.
1429
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:44,871
- [barks]
- [camels grunt]
1430
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:49,996
Things are not out of control
at the Villa Capri.
1431
01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:51,196
It is magnificent here.
1432
01:13:51,320 --> 01:13:52,640
[sheep bleating]
1433
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:53,631
[barking]
1434
01:13:55,480 --> 01:13:57,153
No, no, no! Stop! Come back!
1435
01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:01,070
Terminate me? You can't terminate me!
1436
01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:03,038
Come back with the nativity!
1437
01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:04,674
[man] No, wait! Stop, get back in there!
1438
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:06,080
[Joey] Larry, get the camel!
1439
01:14:07,520 --> 01:14:08,431
You know what?
1440
01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:10,036
- [call disconnects]
- Hello?
1441
01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:12,190
[barking]
1442
01:14:13,160 --> 01:14:14,071
Romeo?
1443
01:14:14,880 --> 01:14:16,109
Oh, Romeo?
1444
01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:19,834
Oh, my God! Romeo. [yelling] Romeo!
1445
01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:23,834
Oh, no, no, no, no!
1446
01:14:23,920 --> 01:14:25,639
- Hey! [shushes]
- [muffled] Oh! Oh!
1447
01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:26,870
- I got you!
- [struggling]
1448
01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:33,829
You know, this isn't
a very efficient plan.
1449
01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:34,831
You shut up!
1450
01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:37,919
You shut up! I'm having
a worse day than you are.
1451
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:42,349
You know, if I were to ever kidnap
someone for ransom,
1452
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:45,399
I would have it more worked out,
more organized.
1453
01:14:45,960 --> 01:14:47,394
I mean, there would be some nice kibble,
1454
01:14:47,480 --> 01:14:48,596
and perhaps a chew toy.
1455
01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:49,875
- I'm going to tell you why.
- Chew toy?
1456
01:14:49,960 --> 01:14:51,997
Oh God! It's amateur hour around here.
1457
01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:52,991
- Well, I'm sorry.
- [Romeo whimpers]
1458
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,471
All right, all right. Enough about me.
1459
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,839
I'm sure even a tough guy like you
1460
01:15:04,920 --> 01:15:07,480
has some insecurities
you'd like to talk about.
1461
01:15:07,560 --> 01:15:08,471
No.
1462
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:11,789
Come on. You'll feel better.
1463
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:13,314
Shut up! I feel fine.
1464
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:18,840
- [Duke] They've got a nice gift shop.
- Hey!
1465
01:15:18,920 --> 01:15:19,751
Really sweet.
1466
01:15:19,840 --> 01:15:21,160
[Tony] Hey, there's the big dog!
1467
01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:22,151
- [Duke] Hey.
- Hey, what's up?
1468
01:15:22,240 --> 01:15:23,435
- We're lookin' for somebody.
- Yeah?
1469
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:26,831
- Recognize this guy?
- Doesn't look familiar, but, uh, you know,
1470
01:15:27,120 --> 01:15:28,998
- a thousand other guys like that...
- [explosion]
1471
01:15:32,640 --> 01:15:34,518
Your animal guy
is not very good at blowin' you up,
1472
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:36,796
but he's gonna keep tryin'.
Maybe he'll get it right next time.
1473
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:39,158
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Is that your car?
1474
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:40,310
- Yeah.
- Give me the keys.
1475
01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:41,914
- My new wheels? No!
- I need your keys.
1476
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:43,354
- Who do you think you are?
- Give me the keys!
1477
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:44,590
Shit!
1478
01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:46,512
[upbeat country music playing]
1479
01:15:46,600 --> 01:15:49,434
[tires screech]
1480
01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:57,437
- [laughs] This is thrilling.
- Thank you.
1481
01:15:58,400 --> 01:15:59,436
- There he is.
- Yep.
1482
01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:02,470
Goddamn, Leo!
1483
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:09,880
Two old dinosaurs. Like us, huh, Leo?
1484
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:13,514
- You think that's funny?
- Nope.
1485
01:16:21,720 --> 01:16:22,631
Hang on.
1486
01:16:25,920 --> 01:16:27,240
Oh shit! Oh shit!
1487
01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:34,153
I have a confession to make.
1488
01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:38,676
Well, for heaven's sake, man, let 'er rip.
1489
01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:40,639
I came here to buy the Villa Capri.
1490
01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:44,594
I thought you only bought big stuff.
1491
01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:46,478
That property is worth 50 million dollars.
1492
01:16:47,080 --> 01:16:50,517
Fifty... and Suzie's worried
about petty cash?
1493
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:52,319
She's just doin' her job... Hang on!
1494
01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:53,311
Oh shit!
1495
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:55,999
[Leo] First, I was gonna bulldoze
the Villa Capri
1496
01:16:56,080 --> 01:16:57,799
and put in a western Mall of America.
1497
01:16:57,880 --> 01:16:59,997
Oh my God! That's sacrilege.
1498
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:02,800
Don't worry. I changed my mind.
I'm startin' to like that place.
1499
01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:04,030
[dramatic music continues]
1500
01:17:11,120 --> 01:17:14,511
So, I mean, if it's worth all that
1501
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,394
and it's partly because of me,
1502
01:17:16,480 --> 01:17:18,073
I think I should get a piece of the pie.
1503
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:19,071
How much do you want?
1504
01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:21,437
Uh, eh, ten percent?
1505
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:23,637
Suppose I let you keep
your fancy golf cart?
1506
01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:25,595
Wait a minute... They blew that thing up.
1507
01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:27,433
And you're welcome to have a piece of it.
1508
01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:32,957
Looks like Oscar
is through playing around.
1509
01:17:40,440 --> 01:17:42,272
- Uh-oh!
- [sighs] This looks like a dead end.
1510
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:44,511
Yeah. Road don't go anywhere.
1511
01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:45,716
Maybe we can box him in.
1512
01:17:46,040 --> 01:17:46,951
Well, it might be a trap.
1513
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:48,151
So what?
1514
01:17:48,240 --> 01:17:49,435
They're after your ass, not mine.
1515
01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:11,791
[Duke] That's not Oscar.
1516
01:18:11,880 --> 01:18:13,758
Well, let's go see who the hell it is.
1517
01:18:19,840 --> 01:18:21,513
- [Duke] You know what you're doin'?
- [Leo] Generally.
1518
01:18:22,080 --> 01:18:23,480
- [Leo] Stop right there!
- [gunshot]
1519
01:18:24,320 --> 01:18:26,073
No, no, no, no! Don't shoot, don't shoot.
1520
01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:27,071
Who are you?
1521
01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:30,034
Listen, some lunatic gave me $500
to torch your van
1522
01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:31,636
and to lead you down here.
1523
01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:32,991
Here?
1524
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:34,111
Yeah.
1525
01:18:34,920 --> 01:18:35,831
[phone rings]
1526
01:18:37,160 --> 01:18:38,389
Answer the phone.
1527
01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:43,031
Hello?
1528
01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:46,711
It's for you.
1529
01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:52,671
Leo McKay.
1530
01:18:53,040 --> 01:18:53,917
[Oscar] Look up.
1531
01:19:03,520 --> 01:19:04,510
You're lookin' for me?
1532
01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:06,151
What do you want?
1533
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:08,231
[Oscar] I got your girl.
1534
01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:10,194
I wanna trade her for Duke.
1535
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:11,995
- That'll work.
- What?
1536
01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:14,599
No, Leo. He'll shoot me in the head.
1537
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:15,910
Yeah, well, there is that.
1538
01:19:16,360 --> 01:19:17,510
What do you want us to do?
1539
01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:20,878
I want you to sit tight and I'll send you
coordinates of where we'll meet up.
1540
01:19:22,120 --> 01:19:23,031
Leo?
1541
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:27,879
You're not really gonna trade me
for her, are you?
1542
01:19:27,960 --> 01:19:30,429
She's a lot prettier
and I'd really like to make the trade,
1543
01:19:30,520 --> 01:19:33,638
but my essential sense
of human dignity and decency
1544
01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:34,631
will not permit it.
1545
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,159
However, we need him to think I will.
1546
01:19:37,480 --> 01:19:41,520
Aw, [sighs] I sure am glad you're you.
1547
01:19:41,600 --> 01:19:42,920
[chuckles]
1548
01:19:46,800 --> 01:19:50,680
- [man] Hey, can I put my hands down now?
- [Leo] Shut up.
1549
01:19:59,320 --> 01:20:00,754
[phone rings]
1550
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:02,197
Where?
1551
01:20:02,280 --> 01:20:04,476
Utah Trail toward 29 Palms.
1552
01:20:05,040 --> 01:20:06,679
Turn off at the old water tower.
1553
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:07,671
You know where that is?
1554
01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:08,591
Not a clue.
1555
01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:10,239
How the hell are we supposed to find that?
1556
01:20:10,600 --> 01:20:11,511
Waze.
1557
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:13,751
God!
1558
01:20:14,720 --> 01:20:15,631
What the hell is that?
1559
01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:17,514
It's an app. You can download it.
1560
01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:18,991
Really?
1561
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:23,877
[automated Waze voice]
Let's get started. Drive safe.
1562
01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:27,039
I have another confession to make.
1563
01:20:27,800 --> 01:20:28,677
Let 'er rip.
1564
01:20:29,520 --> 01:20:31,352
I was married for 33 years...
1565
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,231
to the first woman I ever fell for.
1566
01:20:34,960 --> 01:20:36,599
She died about six years ago,
1567
01:20:36,680 --> 01:20:38,000
and it put me off my game.
1568
01:20:38,080 --> 01:20:40,993
After three or four years,
I felt I should see other women,
1569
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:42,355
but it didn't feel right.
1570
01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:45,674
You wanna tell Duke about it?
1571
01:20:45,760 --> 01:20:50,277
There's something about Miss Quince
that just shook me out of my malaise.
1572
01:20:50,360 --> 01:20:52,352
She's gorgeous, of course, but she's...
1573
01:20:52,680 --> 01:20:53,955
There's nothin' frivolous about her.
1574
01:20:54,040 --> 01:20:57,078
She's a woman of...
substance and gravitas.
1575
01:20:57,800 --> 01:20:58,711
Gravitas.
1576
01:20:58,800 --> 01:20:59,916
[chuckles]
1577
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:03,356
Put me down, you jackass!
1578
01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:05,996
Where's my dog? [yelling] Romeo!
1579
01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:07,675
Where's my dog?
1580
01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:10,556
Now doesn't all this sharing
make you feel better, huh?
1581
01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:12,838
I could fall in love with her.
1582
01:21:12,920 --> 01:21:13,990
[clicks tongue]
1583
01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:15,639
[upbeat music playing]
1584
01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:21,192
[automated Waze voice]
In 0. 1 mile keep left.
1585
01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:42,357
You know, you're always the hero.
1586
01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:46,159
I think I'd like to be heroic sometime.
1587
01:21:52,480 --> 01:21:54,073
How heroic do you wanna be?
1588
01:21:55,040 --> 01:21:55,951
Hm?
1589
01:21:56,680 --> 01:21:57,591
Um...
1590
01:21:58,760 --> 01:21:59,671
Well...
1591
01:21:59,800 --> 01:22:01,837
Uh, you know, just... [chuckles]
1592
01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:04,439
Moderately. Just enough.
1593
01:22:05,080 --> 01:22:06,833
You wanna keep
your braggin' rights to the women.
1594
01:22:06,920 --> 01:22:08,115
[chuckles]
1595
01:22:08,440 --> 01:22:10,159
You know me well. Yeah, huh?
1596
01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:16,754
You think that's an honorable reason
to wanna be heroic?
1597
01:22:16,840 --> 01:22:17,751
I do.
1598
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:23,877
[whispers] I got a plan.
1599
01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:27,677
You know, you remind me of my mother.
1600
01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:32,596
- [chuckles] That's so sweet.
- [Oscar] Yeah. All right.
1601
01:22:34,240 --> 01:22:35,151
All right.
1602
01:22:35,840 --> 01:22:37,399
[suspenseful music playing]
1603
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:52,149
This is where it begins.
1604
01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:06,554
[Leo yelling]
You all right in there, Suzie?
1605
01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:09,993
- [Suzie] Leo, I'm okay.
- I am not armed.
1606
01:23:10,480 --> 01:23:12,597
I am here to give you what you want.
1607
01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:15,029
And to take what I want.
1608
01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:16,440
[Oscar] Hey, stand right there!
1609
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:18,676
What you got under that hat?
1610
01:23:19,360 --> 01:23:20,350
A little hair.
1611
01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:23,478
[Oscar] Ha! You send me Willy.
1612
01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:30,396
[Leo] We can work this out
to everybody's satisfaction.
1613
01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,150
Why don't you put the gun down
and we'll talk.
1614
01:23:33,480 --> 01:23:34,880
[music continues]
1615
01:23:42,400 --> 01:23:43,629
[gunshots]
1616
01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:47,470
Give me Duke!
1617
01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:52,030
Damn! You shot my truck
and now you're tryin' to shoot my boots!
1618
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:56,637
You give me Duke or Willy
or whatever he calls himself. Now!
1619
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,956
[Leo] You can have him.
I never liked him anyway.
1620
01:24:05,560 --> 01:24:06,437
[gun clicks]
1621
01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:09,511
Oh.
1622
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:10,991
Ha!
1623
01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:16,031
[Suzie gasps]
1624
01:24:16,560 --> 01:24:17,710
[Oscar] Oh! That hurts!
1625
01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:20,755
He shot me! [groans]
1626
01:24:22,000 --> 01:24:22,990
[light-hearted music playing]
1627
01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:26,472
- [Oscar grunts]
- Bye-bye.
1628
01:24:30,480 --> 01:24:32,631
Christmases seem to blur together.
1629
01:24:33,000 --> 01:24:34,878
You know? This one stands out.
1630
01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:36,315
It's startin' to feel special.
1631
01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:37,914
[Romeo growls]
1632
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:39,639
[Leo] We're gonna have to call
the sheriff now.
1633
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:43,037
[Suzie] I don't know about you guys,
but I sure could use a cocktail.
1634
01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:43,951
Here, here.
1635
01:24:44,040 --> 01:24:45,156
[music continues]
1636
01:24:55,480 --> 01:24:58,757
I'm starting to understand
the affection you have for this place,
1637
01:24:59,120 --> 01:25:00,110
whoever you are.
1638
01:25:00,840 --> 01:25:03,196
To you, Sweet Willy.
1639
01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:05,956
You did a brave thing today.
I didn't think you had it in you.
1640
01:25:06,040 --> 01:25:08,680
- And you saved the day, cousin.
- I ain't your cousin.
1641
01:25:08,760 --> 01:25:10,592
Well, but you like me a little, huh?
1642
01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:15,352
- A little.
- [laughs]
1643
01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:17,636
There goes Rudolph.
1644
01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:22,519
- [Leo] And there goes Snoopy.
- [growls, barks]
1645
01:25:22,600 --> 01:25:23,590
Adios, Snoopy.
1646
01:25:26,760 --> 01:25:30,276
[overlapping chatter]
1647
01:25:30,360 --> 01:25:33,194
Hey! It's New Year's in New York.
Happy New Year, everybody!
1648
01:25:33,280 --> 01:25:34,634
Earlier to bed?
1649
01:25:35,080 --> 01:25:38,198
Uh, with any luck,
maybe two balls will drop tonight.
1650
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:40,797
- [laughter]
- Girl, you are delusional.
1651
01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:43,952
Hey, I've never seen you guys
lookin' so sharp.
1652
01:25:44,040 --> 01:25:47,954
- Or you so beautiful.
- To the ladies and ladies.
1653
01:25:50,560 --> 01:25:55,112
Arturo, Miss Quince, I think you know my
cronies and their lovely ladies.
1654
01:25:55,200 --> 01:25:57,396
- Of course I do. Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.
1655
01:25:57,480 --> 01:25:59,153
[all] Happy New Year.
1656
01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:00,117
[Larry] Happy New Year!
1657
01:26:00,200 --> 01:26:02,510
I think it's about midnight
in Times Square.
1658
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:03,511
[Larry] Oh, yeah!
1659
01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:04,990
[toots horn]
1660
01:26:05,560 --> 01:26:07,631
Nine o'clock in California
is good enough for me.
1661
01:26:09,080 --> 01:26:11,879
At the end of the day, I have to admit,
I have a soft spot for Duke.
1662
01:26:11,960 --> 01:26:14,316
Wherever they're relocating him,
do you think he's going to be okay?
1663
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:18,440
My dear, the Duke will always be okay.
1664
01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:19,351
[Suzie] Yeah.
1665
01:26:19,440 --> 01:26:20,556
Strike up the band, boys.
1666
01:26:21,960 --> 01:26:25,351
♪ May old acquaintance be forgot ♪
1667
01:26:25,600 --> 01:26:26,875
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen of the
1668
01:26:26,960 --> 01:26:29,191
Tropical Resort Retirement Community,
1669
01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:31,751
say hello to your new resident manager,
1670
01:26:32,520 --> 01:26:34,239
Mr. Marvel Bigelow.
1671
01:26:34,320 --> 01:26:35,390
Music!
1672
01:26:35,480 --> 01:26:37,199
[cheering]
1673
01:26:37,280 --> 01:26:38,555
[calypso music playing]
1674
01:27:13,840 --> 01:27:14,751
[song ends]
1675
01:27:15,080 --> 01:27:16,400
[Susan Werner, "Don't Forget
to Remember Christmas" playing]
1676
01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:23,479
♪ Christmas ♪
1677
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:29,436
♪ Is a very special time of the year ♪
1678
01:27:31,240 --> 01:27:35,792
♪ It's a precious time ♪
♪ And I'm waiting here ♪
1679
01:27:36,800 --> 01:27:42,114
♪ Can't wait to get close to you ♪
1680
01:27:46,320 --> 01:27:50,075
♪ Christmas ♪
1681
01:27:51,240 --> 01:27:57,111
♪ Is a house adorned ♪
♪ With tinsel and lights ♪
1682
01:27:58,160 --> 01:28:02,757
♪ It's a cozy fire and long quiet night ♪
1683
01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:09,159
♪ That let me get close to you ♪
1684
01:28:12,560 --> 01:28:16,600
♪ No one else, dear, will do ♪
1685
01:28:17,080 --> 01:28:20,118
♪ Darling you, only you ♪
1686
01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:25,116
♪ Make my holiday list ♪
1687
01:28:26,240 --> 01:28:29,950
♪ I can't wait till we've kissed ♪
1688
01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:32,953
♪ And then everything that follows ♪
1689
01:28:33,040 --> 01:28:36,272
♪ Makes my year every December ♪
1690
01:28:36,360 --> 01:28:40,718
♪ Don't forget to remember ♪
1691
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:44,430
♪ That Christmas ♪
1692
01:28:45,520 --> 01:28:50,549
♪ Is two lovers strolling home ♪
♪ In the snow ♪
1693
01:28:51,760 --> 01:28:56,277
♪ And then warming up ♪
♪ The best way they know ♪
1694
01:28:57,680 --> 01:29:04,678
♪ Oh, let me get close to you ♪
1695
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:10,396
♪ 'Cause you're all I want for Christmas ♪
1696
01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:17,833
♪ And Christmas is here ♪
1697
01:29:20,880 --> 01:29:22,075
[song ends]
1698
01:29:23,840 --> 01:29:25,638
["Deck The Halls" playing]
1699
01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:20,637
[song ends]
1700
01:30:20,720 --> 01:30:22,074
[mellow music playing]
1701
01:30:40,400 --> 01:30:41,311
[music ends]
127892
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof