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1
00:00:13,366 --> 00:00:16,766
Auntie Rae, Auntie Rae?
2
00:00:16,802 --> 00:00:20,202
- You need something?
- I want to show you something.
3
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:21,705
Oh, all right then.
What is it?
4
00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:23,900
Eh, don't worry.
Just come with me.
5
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:27,239
You know, you said how much
you love gardening,
6
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,404
and how you wish you
could garden here,
7
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:32,743
so I cleared this
little area for you.
8
00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:34,248
- And... there you go.
- Larry.
9
00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:35,910
You did this for me?
10
00:00:35,951 --> 00:00:38,248
- I did it for you!
- Oh, Larry!
11
00:00:38,286 --> 00:00:40,254
- Huh?
- Oh-ho! Larry!
12
00:00:40,288 --> 00:00:42,755
Grow some lettuce, Auntie Rae.
Grow some lettuce!
13
00:00:42,789 --> 00:00:45,724
You don't know how much
I appreciate this.
14
00:00:45,759 --> 00:00:48,226
You've been so good
to us, Larry.
15
00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:51,057
My family...
I really appreciate it.
16
00:00:51,096 --> 00:00:53,064
I really
appreciate it, Larry!
17
00:00:53,098 --> 00:00:55,531
Thank you, Larry.
I...
18
00:00:58,169 --> 00:01:01,729
Larry,
you're disgusting.
19
00:01:01,772 --> 00:01:03,330
Ah!
20
00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:05,602
Agh!
Auntie Rae!
21
00:01:09,077 --> 00:01:12,012
She called me disgusting.
22
00:01:12,047 --> 00:01:14,071
Oh my God.
23
00:01:15,549 --> 00:01:18,676
- What were you thinking?
- And she ran into the house.
24
00:01:18,718 --> 00:01:20,686
- Oh my God.
- How does that happen to you?
25
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,689
You know, she went over
the appropriate amount of time
26
00:01:23,723 --> 00:01:26,657
that I can have human contact
without getting aroused.
27
00:01:26,691 --> 00:01:28,683
I only have five seconds.
28
00:01:28,727 --> 00:01:30,695
After that, it's out
of my control.
29
00:01:30,729 --> 00:01:34,027
Not me. I've got discipline down there.
I have a very discerning penis.
30
00:01:34,065 --> 00:01:35,395
- No...
- Very discerning.
31
00:01:35,432 --> 00:01:37,627
- My penis is an animal.
- Really, just out of control?
32
00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:39,896
- It's a feral tiger, yeah.
- It's wild.
33
00:01:39,935 --> 00:01:42,631
Oh, so how'd your- how'd
the appointment go? With the doctor?
34
00:01:42,671 --> 00:01:44,298
Great.
35
00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:47,035
He's gonna snip-snip,
and...
36
00:01:47,075 --> 00:01:49,235
I will no longer
be snoring.
37
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,404
- Really?
- Going in on Thursday morning.
38
00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:53,243
- Fantastic.
- Unbelievable!
39
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,908
- Fantastic.
- My dog howls
40
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,075
from my snoring.
I wake up my dog.
41
00:01:58,117 --> 00:02:00,415
My dog starts howling.
I'm out of control.
42
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,249
- This'll be good.
- This'll be great.
43
00:02:02,287 --> 00:02:03,777
- It's about time.
- It is about time.
44
00:02:03,822 --> 00:02:05,517
- Yeah.
- It's about time.
45
00:02:05,557 --> 00:02:09,082
Hey, guess what else? I think Ben Stiller's
gonna come with me as a client.
46
00:02:09,125 --> 00:02:10,889
- Are you kidding?
- No!
47
00:02:10,928 --> 00:02:13,953
- Have you met with him?
- No, I'm meeting with him this week.
48
00:02:13,997 --> 00:02:17,523
- If you could sign him...
- I think it's a slam-dunk. Done deal.
49
00:02:17,566 --> 00:02:19,295
It's gonna bring you in
so much income.
50
00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:20,698
- Huge income, I know.
- My God.
51
00:02:20,735 --> 00:02:22,362
- That's amazing.
- Hello.
52
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,030
- Hi.
- I know you couldn't decide
53
00:02:24,071 --> 00:02:26,538
between the slaw and the soup,
so I brought you both.
54
00:02:26,573 --> 00:02:28,803
Wow, thank you
so very much.
55
00:02:28,842 --> 00:02:31,435
And here's your sandwich.
Can I get you something to drink?
56
00:02:31,477 --> 00:02:33,412
You know what I'd love?
I'd love an Arnold Palmer.
57
00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:35,470
- Okay, I'll be right back.
- Thank you.
58
00:02:35,514 --> 00:02:38,607
Excuse me?
Can I give you a drink order?
59
00:02:38,650 --> 00:02:41,016
- Sure.
- I'll just have an iced tea.
60
00:02:41,052 --> 00:02:44,179
- An iced tea. Arnold Palmer of course.
- Thanks again.
61
00:02:44,221 --> 00:02:47,212
Thank you.
Man, she's nice.
62
00:02:47,256 --> 00:02:50,054
Yeah. Nice to people
with hair, she's nice.
63
00:02:50,092 --> 00:02:53,061
- What are you talking about?
- What am I talking about?
64
00:02:53,095 --> 00:02:54,584
- Yeah.
- Bald people get
65
00:02:54,629 --> 00:02:58,030
discriminated against constantly.
And you just saw a perfect example of it.
66
00:02:58,066 --> 00:02:59,794
Oh, it's because
you're bald.
67
00:02:59,834 --> 00:03:02,096
Yeah, ask any bald person.
Ask, go ahead.
68
00:03:02,136 --> 00:03:03,932
You still have issues
with being bald.
69
00:03:03,970 --> 00:03:07,269
You know, if I were bald- if I woke up
tomorrow and I found myself bald,
70
00:03:07,307 --> 00:03:10,139
I'd be so cool with it.
It'd be no big deal. It's all natural.
71
00:03:10,175 --> 00:03:12,473
- Yeah, right, that's what everybody says.
- Whatever.
72
00:03:12,511 --> 00:03:14,637
Hey, they have
a pharmacy here, right?
73
00:03:14,679 --> 00:03:16,806
- Yeah.
- I gotta get a prescription filled.
74
00:03:16,847 --> 00:03:18,643
I'm gonna go now,
drop it off,
75
00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:20,674
then I'll pick it up
when I'm done.
76
00:03:20,718 --> 00:03:22,514
Beautiful.
77
00:03:34,127 --> 00:03:36,459
- Hi.
- Oh, hi there.
78
00:03:37,531 --> 00:03:39,726
Ah, let's take
a look here.
79
00:03:39,766 --> 00:03:41,129
Can I get that in
the next half hour?
80
00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:42,691
Sure. Yeah,
we can do that.
81
00:03:42,735 --> 00:03:44,293
Great, thank you.
82
00:03:46,671 --> 00:03:48,662
- That's odd.
- What?
83
00:03:48,707 --> 00:03:50,970
I could have sworn
when I left,
84
00:03:51,008 --> 00:03:53,772
I had about twice
as many french fries
85
00:03:53,811 --> 00:03:56,335
- as there are now.
- Hm.
86
00:03:56,379 --> 00:03:59,347
- You wouldn't know anything about this?
- No idea.
87
00:03:59,381 --> 00:04:00,644
- Huh?
- No idea.
88
00:04:00,683 --> 00:04:02,583
- No idea?
- No.
89
00:04:07,923 --> 00:04:10,788
- No idea?
- I told you! What's the big deal?
90
00:04:10,824 --> 00:04:12,224
- Just eat.
- Maybe somebody
91
00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:13,988
could shed some light
on this for us.
92
00:04:14,027 --> 00:04:16,757
Excuse me. Hi,
I'm sorry to bother you.
93
00:04:16,796 --> 00:04:20,493
- It's all right.
- I'm wondering if you noticed
94
00:04:20,533 --> 00:04:22,830
anything unusual going on
at this table after I left?
95
00:04:22,868 --> 00:04:26,165
Well, I- I really couldn't say.
I don't want
96
00:04:26,203 --> 00:04:28,001
to impinge
on a friendship.
97
00:04:28,039 --> 00:04:30,562
Impinge away.
Go ahead and impinge.
98
00:04:30,606 --> 00:04:32,939
I took one.
Shoot me.
99
00:04:32,976 --> 00:04:35,602
One. Two of them might have
been stuck together.
100
00:04:35,644 --> 00:04:37,476
Mm-mm-mm.
Thank you.
101
00:04:37,513 --> 00:04:40,037
- Are you a doctor?
- Yes, Dr. Flomm.
102
00:04:40,081 --> 00:04:42,481
- I'm an orthopedist.
- Really? An orthopedist?
103
00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:43,916
- Mm-hm.
- Hi, my name's Larry.
104
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,419
Hi, Larry.
I'm- I'm Sheila.
105
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,444
Nice to meet you.
So you work in the building?
106
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,750
God damn, Larry.
What the fuck, man?
107
00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:56,056
You hug my auntie, man,
you stab her in the stomach?
108
00:04:56,094 --> 00:04:57,823
- Oh well...
- What the fuck was that?
109
00:04:57,863 --> 00:05:00,387
She hugged me and she held that hug
for over five seconds.
110
00:05:00,431 --> 00:05:02,797
- What the fuck?
- I have no control after five seconds.
111
00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,767
- So you got a five-second rule?
- Not a rule,
112
00:05:04,802 --> 00:05:08,133
it's an approximate amount of time that
it's gonna take for something to happen.
113
00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:10,298
What the fuck, I mean, what the fuck?
Loretta.
114
00:05:10,339 --> 00:05:11,670
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- L.D.?
115
00:05:11,707 --> 00:05:13,698
- What?
- You have lost your damn mind.
116
00:05:13,742 --> 00:05:15,232
- No, I...
- Auntie Rae?
117
00:05:15,277 --> 00:05:17,836
I can't control it. I have no control.
It's not my fault.
118
00:05:17,879 --> 00:05:19,506
Just like that,
you got turned on?
119
00:05:19,547 --> 00:05:21,673
Not just like that.
That's a long time, five seconds.
120
00:05:21,715 --> 00:05:24,707
He got a five-second rule. One, two,
three, four, five- boing, it come out.
121
00:05:24,751 --> 00:05:27,844
- You gotta put Mississippi in.
- Mississippi?
122
00:05:27,887 --> 00:05:30,446
That's how you count-
"One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi,
123
00:05:30,488 --> 00:05:33,082
three-Mississippi, four-Mississippi,
five-Mississippi."
124
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,785
- That's way too long.
- Way too long.
125
00:05:34,826 --> 00:05:36,851
- You're stretching it out for-
- I'm not stretching it out.
126
00:05:36,895 --> 00:05:38,885
- I shortened it.
- I'm just sayin', it's been a long time
127
00:05:38,929 --> 00:05:40,954
- since my uncle passed away, man.
- That's right.
128
00:05:40,998 --> 00:05:43,090
You all over her. You stab her
in the fuckin' stomach, man.
129
00:05:43,132 --> 00:05:44,895
Believe me, it's not
gonna happen again.
130
00:05:44,934 --> 00:05:47,197
You better make sure it don't happen
again, because we can go.
131
00:05:47,235 --> 00:05:48,930
- We can go, man.
- We can go. We can go anywhere.
132
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:51,631
- Where you gonna go?
- Anywhere. Get out of here, I know that.
133
00:05:51,672 --> 00:05:53,640
- We got places to go.
- You know, it's just
134
00:05:53,674 --> 00:05:55,642
I'm so starved for affection,
I guess that
135
00:05:55,676 --> 00:05:58,405
- any kind of contact...
- Talk to your man.
136
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:01,812
- You got one more chance, L.D.
- I just met a doctor, actually.
137
00:06:01,848 --> 00:06:03,941
I'm gonna go call her
for a date right now.
138
00:06:03,983 --> 00:06:06,280
- She's very attractive.
- Handle your business.
139
00:06:06,318 --> 00:06:08,878
- But no- no more hugging, don't worry.
- Oh please, please don't.
140
00:06:08,921 --> 00:06:10,979
Call that goddamn doctor,
get a diagnosis,
141
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,286
and-and-and- and go
stab somebody else, man.
142
00:06:13,324 --> 00:06:16,554
And what happens when you-
when you turn your palm?
143
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,651
- Yeah, it hurts.
- Worse, okay.
144
00:06:18,694 --> 00:06:20,719
Just a moment, please.
145
00:06:20,763 --> 00:06:23,390
- Hello, Dr. Flomm.
- Oh, Dr. Flomm.
146
00:06:23,431 --> 00:06:26,560
- This is Larry David calling.
- Oh hi, Larry. How are you?
147
00:06:26,602 --> 00:06:29,627
- Good, I met you earlier in the cafeteria.
- Yes yes, I remember.
148
00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:33,332
- Would you like to make an appointment?
- Uh, no, actually.
149
00:06:33,374 --> 00:06:35,672
I'm calling for,
um, a date.
150
00:06:35,709 --> 00:06:37,732
Oh I see. Well, I'm with
a patient right now.
151
00:06:37,776 --> 00:06:39,369
Oh Jeez,
I'm so sorry.
152
00:06:39,412 --> 00:06:42,141
Okay, is- is tonight
good for you?
153
00:06:42,180 --> 00:06:44,773
Actually I'm all booked up tonight,
but I am available tomorrow
154
00:06:44,815 --> 00:06:46,715
between 5:00 and 6:00
or anytime after 8:30.
155
00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:48,810
- Okay, I'll take the 8:30.
- Terrific.
156
00:06:48,853 --> 00:06:50,945
Speak to my receptionist
to get the pertinent details.
157
00:06:50,987 --> 00:06:53,353
- I'll call your receptionist.
- If you need to cancel
158
00:06:53,390 --> 00:06:55,254
or in case of any emergency,
just page me.
159
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,724
Okay.
Okay, will do.
160
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,886
Good, and I recommend
being five minutes early.
161
00:06:58,927 --> 00:07:00,223
Okay, I'll see you
tomorrow.
162
00:07:00,261 --> 00:07:01,729
All right, Larry,
thank you.
163
00:07:01,764 --> 00:07:04,095
Okay.
164
00:07:10,035 --> 00:07:11,594
Hi.
165
00:07:11,638 --> 00:07:13,628
Is... Sheila here?
166
00:07:13,672 --> 00:07:15,799
Yeah, come on in.
I'm her sister.
167
00:07:15,841 --> 00:07:17,467
- Oh, hi.
- You must be Larry.
168
00:07:17,509 --> 00:07:19,478
- Yeah.
- Just come on in, have a seat.
169
00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:21,535
- Make yourself at home.
- Oh, thanks.
170
00:07:22,579 --> 00:07:24,570
She'll be right down.
171
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,963
You have nothing
to worry about, it'll be fine.
172
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,797
- Thanks, Sheila.
- Oh hi, Larry.
173
00:07:49,835 --> 00:07:51,736
- Hi hi.
- This is my brother Joe.
174
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,396
- Larry David.
- Hi, Joe.
175
00:07:53,438 --> 00:07:55,804
- Nice to meet you.
- I suppose you met Trish, my sister.
176
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,000
Yes, yeah.
177
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,736
- Wow.
- Huh?
178
00:07:58,776 --> 00:08:01,404
- You look great.
- It took me about two hours to get ready.
179
00:08:02,778 --> 00:08:05,178
Your brother and sister,
they're staying with you?
180
00:08:05,215 --> 00:08:08,183
Yeah, they're gonna be
with me just a couple months.
181
00:08:08,217 --> 00:08:10,582
- So...
- I've got people in my house too.
182
00:08:10,618 --> 00:08:12,108
- You're kidding?
- No.
183
00:08:12,153 --> 00:08:14,621
You know, it's great and then
sometimes it's not so great.
184
00:08:14,656 --> 00:08:16,486
Well, I took in
a homeless family...
185
00:08:16,523 --> 00:08:18,992
- You what?
- ... from- from- from the hurricane.
186
00:08:19,027 --> 00:08:20,117
- You're kidding.
- No.
187
00:08:20,159 --> 00:08:22,184
Anyway, their-
their name is "Black."
188
00:08:22,228 --> 00:08:24,525
- Uh-huh.
- And- and they're actually black.
189
00:08:24,563 --> 00:08:27,259
- Well, that makes it easy.
- Exactly, yeah.
190
00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:28,527
Yeah.
191
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,431
- Can I move on?
- Absolutely.
192
00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,663
Huh? All right,
I got a groin issue.
193
00:08:32,703 --> 00:08:34,465
- Oh, okay.
- I- I pulled it.
194
00:08:34,504 --> 00:08:36,473
Did you ice it right away?
195
00:08:36,507 --> 00:08:38,406
- No.
- Okay, so put a little bit of heat
196
00:08:38,441 --> 00:08:40,102
- on the groin...
- Heat on the groin.
197
00:08:40,143 --> 00:08:42,576
- ...and then I'd massage it.
- You want me to massage it?
198
00:08:42,611 --> 00:08:44,077
- Oh absolutely.
- Really?
199
00:08:44,111 --> 00:08:45,841
You never want
to massage with muscle,
200
00:08:45,881 --> 00:08:48,348
- you always want to massage laterally.
- Lateral, okay.
201
00:08:48,382 --> 00:08:51,680
For instance, this is your groin.
Just- you just massage across.
202
00:08:51,718 --> 00:08:54,516
Watch out for my testicles
right over there.
203
00:08:59,991 --> 00:09:02,152
Larry?
204
00:09:03,863 --> 00:09:06,853
Why don't we move this
to my bedroom?
205
00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:09,598
Sure.
206
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:12,101
Go upstairs,
take off your clothes,
207
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,625
and I'll be in to see
you in a few minutes.
208
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:18,863
Okay.
209
00:09:42,894 --> 00:09:44,986
Larry?
210
00:09:45,028 --> 00:09:46,518
- Hey.
- Hi.
211
00:09:46,563 --> 00:09:48,532
Uh, listen, I-
I am so sorry.
212
00:09:48,566 --> 00:09:50,259
I- I hate
to tell you this,
213
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:52,290
but my brother
and sister just came back.
214
00:09:52,334 --> 00:09:54,267
- They weren't supposed to be here.
- Oh.
215
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:57,100
And my brother got food poisoning,
so they came back early,
216
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,571
and I-
I'm really sorry.
217
00:09:59,606 --> 00:10:01,733
- Well, what are you gonna do?
- So...
218
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,901
- It happens.
- ... we need to reschedule.
219
00:10:03,943 --> 00:10:06,879
Why don't you get dressed
and I'll meet you in the foyer?
220
00:10:16,253 --> 00:10:17,880
I'm telling you, Jeffrey,
221
00:10:17,922 --> 00:10:20,049
there's nothing
like dating a doctor.
222
00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:23,525
We talked for 45 minutes
about my groin injury.
223
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,687
No no, she just
wants me to massage it.
224
00:10:26,728 --> 00:10:28,855
It's killing me too.
225
00:10:28,897 --> 00:10:31,194
Um, so listen...
226
00:10:31,232 --> 00:10:34,359
I'm gonna see you later. I'm gonna
stop by before your operation.
227
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,198
Okay, man.
228
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,228
Okay, take care.
229
00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:55,379
Oh!
Auntie Rae!
230
00:10:57,621 --> 00:10:59,349
- You know what?
- What?
231
00:10:59,388 --> 00:11:01,855
- Last night, I know we talked about this.
- Yeah?
232
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:04,017
- This thing, you know.
- Oh, that thing.
233
00:11:04,059 --> 00:11:07,028
- And I respect your medical judgment.
- Mm-hm?
234
00:11:07,062 --> 00:11:10,121
- I think it's cancer.
- It's not cancer.
235
00:11:10,164 --> 00:11:12,462
Huh? I've never had cancer
before but I'm imagining
236
00:11:12,499 --> 00:11:14,433
- this is how it feels like.
- How would you know?
237
00:11:14,468 --> 00:11:16,162
No no, it's not.
238
00:11:16,202 --> 00:11:18,261
I'm gonna...
239
00:11:18,304 --> 00:11:20,100
head to the men's room.
240
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,901
I- okay, that's fine.
241
00:11:21,940 --> 00:11:24,407
I just... I'm a little
shy about this,
242
00:11:24,442 --> 00:11:27,276
and I just have-
I just wrote you a little something.
243
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,575
- I think it might make you feel better.
- Moi?
244
00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:32,776
- Yeah.
- Ah. A note.
245
00:11:32,816 --> 00:11:34,716
- Oh my God.
- You're embarrassing me.
246
00:11:34,751 --> 00:11:36,742
Just- just go
to the bathroom.
247
00:11:49,563 --> 00:11:51,530
- Oh, excuse me?
- Yeah?
248
00:11:51,564 --> 00:11:53,054
- Can you do me a favor?
- Sure.
249
00:11:53,099 --> 00:11:55,726
A doctor wrote me this note.
I can't make out a word of it.
250
00:11:55,767 --> 00:11:58,327
You know the way they write.
They have terrible penmanship.
251
00:11:58,370 --> 00:11:59,997
- Look at this.
- "Libby..."
252
00:12:00,038 --> 00:12:01,595
No no, Larry.
That's me.
253
00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:04,301
Something...
254
00:12:04,341 --> 00:12:07,401
- something "socks."
- "Socks"?
255
00:12:07,444 --> 00:12:09,411
That's an "S"?
I thought that was a "T"?
256
00:12:09,445 --> 00:12:11,572
- Tox?
- Truck?
257
00:12:11,614 --> 00:12:13,136
Truck.
Do you have a truck?
258
00:12:13,181 --> 00:12:16,912
- No, I don't have a truck.
- It's gotta be truck- oh.
259
00:12:16,952 --> 00:12:19,010
- All right, whatever, okay.
- I'm sorry.
260
00:12:19,053 --> 00:12:20,520
- All right, thank you.
- Yeah.
261
00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:22,714
Thank you.
This...
262
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,917
Yeah, I'm at the hospital.
263
00:12:28,961 --> 00:12:30,792
Yeah, I fucked
my wrist or something.
264
00:12:30,829 --> 00:12:32,592
Yeah, I was moving
a futon.
265
00:12:32,631 --> 00:12:36,532
And I had to take the top
because of this 300-Ib nigger.
266
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:40,433
Yeah, exactly. I'm at the fuckin' top,
and halfway through,
267
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:42,404
this nigger
drops his side.
268
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,733
So now
my wrist is fucked.
269
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,474
Oh my God.
270
00:12:51,913 --> 00:12:55,075
You can't believe what I just
overheard in the bathroom.
271
00:12:55,115 --> 00:12:57,414
What an unbelievable jerk.
272
00:12:57,452 --> 00:13:01,387
This guy is on his cell phone,
he's talking to his friend,
273
00:13:01,422 --> 00:13:03,821
and he's upset
and he's complaining.
274
00:13:03,856 --> 00:13:06,915
You know, he had to move some furniture
and he says to his friend,
275
00:13:06,958 --> 00:13:09,688
"I hurt my hand because
I had to take the top
276
00:13:09,728 --> 00:13:12,355
because of this
300-Ib nigger who was-"
277
00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:14,728
What did you say?
What did you just say?
278
00:13:14,765 --> 00:13:17,096
- Oh...
- What did you just fix your mouth to say?
279
00:13:17,133 --> 00:13:19,101
- No no-
- You just used the most vile word
280
00:13:19,135 --> 00:13:20,931
in the English language.
How dare you?
281
00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:22,800
- No, I was-
- How dare- in front of me?
282
00:13:22,838 --> 00:13:25,635
You are despicable.
I can't stand people like you.
283
00:13:25,673 --> 00:13:27,664
- I didn't-
- You bald son of a bitch.
284
00:13:27,709 --> 00:13:30,006
I have to face this kind
of wretched foolishness.
285
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:33,035
This is ridiculous. I just want to- God!
I can't stand people like...
286
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,673
Bald?
287
00:13:39,951 --> 00:13:44,081
I wonder what's
keeping Dr. Page?
288
00:13:44,122 --> 00:13:46,283
Why hasn't this patient
been prepped?
289
00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:47,790
He is prepped, sir.
290
00:13:47,825 --> 00:13:50,453
Excuse me, nurse.
291
00:13:50,494 --> 00:13:52,791
- Clippers!
- Sir, clippers are not req...
292
00:13:52,829 --> 00:13:54,956
Do I have to do
everything myself?
293
00:13:54,997 --> 00:13:57,294
I know what I'm doing here.
Clippers, please.
294
00:13:57,332 --> 00:13:59,130
Thank you.
295
00:14:04,005 --> 00:14:07,530
Oh my God!
No no!
296
00:14:07,574 --> 00:14:09,372
- What?
- Oh my God!
297
00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:11,206
Look at me!
298
00:14:11,244 --> 00:14:13,474
What the hell
happened to you?
299
00:14:13,513 --> 00:14:16,572
- What happened?
- What happened, nurse?
300
00:14:16,615 --> 00:14:18,775
Dr. Page accidentally shaved
Mr. Greene's head...
301
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,283
- Shaved my head?
- Wait a minute.
302
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,115
- Accidentally?
- Did he operate on my head?
303
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,676
No, the procedure
was cancelled.
304
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,188
The operation is going
to be rescheduled.
305
00:14:26,223 --> 00:14:28,417
- So he didn't have the surgery?
- No.
306
00:14:28,457 --> 00:14:30,425
Oh, you look horrible.
Jeff!
307
00:14:30,459 --> 00:14:32,983
- Nurse, would you please excuse us?
- Doctor, what happened?
308
00:14:33,027 --> 00:14:35,461
- What the hell happened? Look at him!
- What happened?
309
00:14:35,498 --> 00:14:37,123
Mr. and Mrs. Greene,
I am so sorry.
310
00:14:37,164 --> 00:14:39,462
I was coming to see you
in the operating room
311
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:43,061
and I had just been victimized
by a terrible incident in the cafeteria.
312
00:14:43,103 --> 00:14:44,798
And so I came
to the operating room
313
00:14:44,838 --> 00:14:47,328
and I was so angered and I was upset
and I was confused,
314
00:14:47,373 --> 00:14:49,000
and I mistakenly
shaved your head,
315
00:14:49,041 --> 00:14:51,167
- for which I'm so sorry.
- "Mistake" is correct.
316
00:14:51,209 --> 00:14:53,803
- You took it out on his head?
- It was a terrible mistake.
317
00:14:53,845 --> 00:14:57,041
I can explain- I'm leaving the cafeteria,
and I'm walking past a table,
318
00:14:57,081 --> 00:14:59,708
and this horrible man
uses the most vile word
319
00:14:59,749 --> 00:15:02,377
in the English language
to refer to a black person,
320
00:15:02,418 --> 00:15:04,045
and I went
into a blind rage,
321
00:15:04,087 --> 00:15:06,578
and I left there and I went
to the operating room,
322
00:15:06,623 --> 00:15:09,715
and I made this terrible mistake,
for which I'm so sorry.
323
00:15:09,757 --> 00:15:11,123
Do you know who
this man was?
324
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,786
I have no idea
who he was.
325
00:15:12,827 --> 00:15:15,387
He was just
a despicable bald man.
326
00:15:15,429 --> 00:15:17,259
- Bald?
- Yes.
327
00:15:17,297 --> 00:15:19,925
Did he, by any chance,
328
00:15:19,966 --> 00:15:21,434
wear glasses?
329
00:15:21,469 --> 00:15:23,526
Yes.
330
00:15:23,569 --> 00:15:25,935
As a matter of fact,
he was wearing glasses.
331
00:15:27,338 --> 00:15:30,671
And it was awful.
It was just absolutely awful.
332
00:15:33,411 --> 00:15:35,036
"S..."
333
00:15:35,077 --> 00:15:37,740
"Sitter"?
"Sitting"?
334
00:15:46,755 --> 00:15:48,449
Look at him!
335
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,218
- Look at him!
- What the fuck?
336
00:15:50,257 --> 00:15:52,191
- I'm bald!
- You like this look?
337
00:15:52,226 --> 00:15:54,591
- He had a beautiful full head of hair...
- I'm bald!
338
00:15:54,627 --> 00:15:56,857
...a mane that I loved
and now he looks like you!
339
00:15:56,896 --> 00:15:58,693
- Look at me!
- What happened?
340
00:15:58,731 --> 00:16:00,699
- How did that happen?
- You did it!
341
00:16:00,733 --> 00:16:02,221
- I did it?
- You did it! Yes!
342
00:16:02,266 --> 00:16:05,065
- What are you talking about?
- You traumatized the doctor!
343
00:16:05,103 --> 00:16:09,333
He described you. He said, "Bald, glasses."
You said some racial slur
344
00:16:09,372 --> 00:16:11,101
and you traumatized
the doctor
345
00:16:11,141 --> 00:16:13,132
- and he came in all flummoxed...
- What did you do?
346
00:16:13,176 --> 00:16:15,337
...and shaved
his fucking head!
347
00:16:15,378 --> 00:16:16,969
There's nothing wrong
with being bald!
348
00:16:17,012 --> 00:16:18,980
- Sure there is!
- Yes, there is, Larry!
349
00:16:19,014 --> 00:16:21,413
- Look at you!
- You said you wouldn't care if you were!
350
00:16:21,449 --> 00:16:23,144
Yeah, in 40 years!
Not fucking today!
351
00:16:23,184 --> 00:16:25,117
Because he knew it was
never gonna happen!
352
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,382
- Not overnight!
- Yours is gonna grow back, mine isn't!
353
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:29,081
That's right. You know what?
Curse on you!
354
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:31,419
Mine's gonna grow back,
yours isn't! You deserve it!
355
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,289
What did you say
to that doctor?
356
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,487
Here's what happened, okay?
Here's what happened.
357
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,791
I was in the cafeteria.
I was having lunch with Dr. Flomm.
358
00:16:38,829 --> 00:16:41,060
Okay? What-
you know, it was pretty...
359
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:43,827
by the way, can you
interpret this- this note?
360
00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:45,836
Oh, nobody gives a shit
about your note!
361
00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:47,302
- What are you doing?
- Huh?
362
00:16:47,337 --> 00:16:49,703
Okay, so I went
to the men's room,
363
00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:52,036
I'm in the stall,
there's this guy...
364
00:16:52,074 --> 00:16:53,598
an unbelievable
asshole...
365
00:16:53,642 --> 00:16:55,668
He's talking on his cell phone
to his friend.
366
00:16:55,712 --> 00:16:58,339
He's very upset because
they had to move some furniture,
367
00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:00,074
he says to his friend,
"I hurt my hand
368
00:17:00,114 --> 00:17:02,742
- because this 300-Ib nigger is-"
- What'd you say?
369
00:17:02,783 --> 00:17:04,751
- What?
- What did you just say?
370
00:17:04,784 --> 00:17:07,548
- Oh no no, I-
- Did I just hear the word nigger?
371
00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:09,577
- No, but I was-
- Did you say nigger?
372
00:17:09,622 --> 00:17:11,486
- Leon! Leon!
- What?
373
00:17:11,522 --> 00:17:14,150
- Oh no no, don't-
- Leon, get your ass out here.
374
00:17:14,192 --> 00:17:15,819
Larry
just said nigger.
375
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:18,293
- Get the fuck out of here!
- Larry just said nigger!
376
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:20,387
- How you gonna say nigger, man?
- No no!
377
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,954
Is that how you
feel about us?
378
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,262
That we a bunch
of niggers up in here?
379
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:27,291
- I was quoting somebody.
- Let's get out of here! I wanna go!
380
00:17:27,335 --> 00:17:29,929
What is all this fussing and cussing
going on up in here?
381
00:17:29,971 --> 00:17:31,632
Larry D. done
called us nigger.
382
00:17:31,673 --> 00:17:32,970
- Nigger?
- Nigger!
383
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,568
- No, let me explain!
- You lost your damn mind now!
384
00:17:35,610 --> 00:17:39,238
First, you're rubbing all up against me,
then whacking off in the damn car!
385
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:40,768
- Now you call us-
- I was massaging!
386
00:17:40,812 --> 00:17:42,804
I'll come down there
to whip your poor ass!
387
00:17:42,849 --> 00:17:45,612
- You done fucked up, Larry!
- I'll tell you one damn thing.
388
00:17:45,651 --> 00:17:47,414
We ain't gonna
put up with that.
389
00:17:47,452 --> 00:17:49,976
- L.D., I told you you had one last chance.
- One.
390
00:17:50,021 --> 00:17:52,421
- This the last straw. We out this bitch.
- That's it.
391
00:17:52,456 --> 00:17:53,753
- We out this bitch!
- Out.
392
00:17:53,791 --> 00:17:55,622
- Where you gonna go?
- We don't know.
393
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,924
- But we gonna get the hell out of here.
- You could stay with us.
394
00:17:57,962 --> 00:17:59,895
- Thank you, baby.
- That's what I'm talking about.
395
00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:01,191
- We appreciate that.
- Thank you!
396
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,891
Fuck you, Larry,
wit' your monkey ass!
397
00:18:03,932 --> 00:18:05,729
Daryl! Keysha!
398
00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:07,735
- We gettin' the hell outta here.
- You're damn straight.
399
00:18:07,769 --> 00:18:09,464
- Get the hell outta here.
- Where the kids at?
400
00:18:09,504 --> 00:18:11,870
Like how you do what you do.
It's a sexy ass, Susie.
401
00:18:11,906 --> 00:18:13,896
Fuck you, Larry!
402
00:18:13,941 --> 00:18:15,771
Peace!
403
00:18:19,445 --> 00:18:21,639
Well, look, I-
I think that
404
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,843
you're limiting yourself
by just doing comedies.
405
00:18:24,883 --> 00:18:26,907
- Right.
- You can do it in your sleep.
406
00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:28,384
Let's show people more.
407
00:18:28,419 --> 00:18:30,545
Why can't you win
an Academy Award?
408
00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:33,180
The studios, they'll do
anything you want to do.
409
00:18:33,222 --> 00:18:35,781
We just gotta push 'em
in the right direction, man.
410
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:37,622
- Yeah.
- That's it.
411
00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:40,184
- I didn't just fall off the melon truck.
- Melon truck?
412
00:18:40,228 --> 00:18:43,219
You sign with me, I will fight that fight
to get you those roles,
413
00:18:43,264 --> 00:18:45,232
to develop those
projects with you.
414
00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:48,098
That's what I do. You know,
you need to be doing things
415
00:18:48,134 --> 00:18:51,467
that are more independent,
smaller in scale...
416
00:18:51,504 --> 00:18:54,802
as well as the big-scale stuff.
That's gonna fall in your lap.
417
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,001
I'll do the work. You won't notice
anything different
418
00:18:57,041 --> 00:18:59,009
except for the fact that
you're collecting awards.
419
00:18:59,043 --> 00:19:00,840
Okay?
420
00:19:01,332 --> 00:19:03,129
What?
421
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,168
Stiller said no.
422
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:12,508
- What?
- Doesn't want to work with me.
423
00:19:12,546 --> 00:19:15,743
- Are you kidding?
- Doesn't feel it's right.
424
00:19:15,782 --> 00:19:17,546
- He called you?
- Yeah.
425
00:19:17,585 --> 00:19:19,281
Said "it doesn't
feel right."
426
00:19:19,321 --> 00:19:21,482
- "Doesn't feel right"?
- Doesn't feel right.
427
00:19:21,523 --> 00:19:23,822
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
428
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:26,590
You know what doesn't
feel right about it?
429
00:19:26,629 --> 00:19:29,097
- You're bald.
- You think that's the reason why?
430
00:19:29,132 --> 00:19:30,657
- Yeah.
- I'm not sure.
431
00:19:30,701 --> 00:19:33,000
Doesn't want a bald man
to be representing him!
432
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,336
Hey! You know what?
I know exactly what I want.
433
00:19:35,373 --> 00:19:37,433
- I'm gonna get-
- I'm a little busy today.
434
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,468
I'll come back
in a little bit.
435
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,081
- Okay?
- That's weird.
436
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,743
- Weird?
- Yeah.
437
00:19:44,785 --> 00:19:46,651
That's the way
it works, my friend.
438
00:19:46,688 --> 00:19:48,086
Welcome to my world.
439
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:49,680
- This sucks.
- You know what?
440
00:19:49,724 --> 00:19:52,557
- This fucking sucks.
- That cost you millions of dollars today.
441
00:19:52,594 --> 00:19:54,119
- What happened.
- Millions of dollars.
442
00:19:54,163 --> 00:19:56,791
- Millions of dollars.
- The hospital wants to meet with me.
443
00:19:56,832 --> 00:19:59,461
They want to talk and-
and go over my bill.
444
00:19:59,503 --> 00:20:02,337
"Go over my bill. " I'm gonna sue
these motherfuckers.
445
00:20:02,373 --> 00:20:04,638
- That's it! That's fucking it!
- Right, good for you.
446
00:20:04,676 --> 00:20:06,769
This blows.
How do you deal with it?
447
00:20:06,812 --> 00:20:10,475
You just get used to it. And I get
support from my bald brothers.
448
00:20:10,516 --> 00:20:12,712
- There's, like, meetings?
- There's no meetings,
449
00:20:12,752 --> 00:20:14,913
but we see each other
on the street, we nod.
450
00:20:14,954 --> 00:20:17,753
- We'll give a thumbs up.
- Yeah.
451
00:20:17,791 --> 00:20:20,818
You know what? We love each other,
me and my bald brothers.
452
00:20:20,862 --> 00:20:22,728
Still obsessed
with that note, huh?
453
00:20:22,765 --> 00:20:25,563
I- I've asked
10 people.
454
00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:27,899
Excuse me, could you
do me a favor?
455
00:20:27,937 --> 00:20:30,907
I can't read this. Could you make out
any of that handwriting?
456
00:20:30,941 --> 00:20:32,238
- This from a doctor?
- Yeah.
457
00:20:32,276 --> 00:20:34,268
Take it
to a pharmacist.
458
00:20:37,081 --> 00:20:38,708
- What a great idea.
- Yeah.
459
00:20:38,751 --> 00:20:41,049
They're the only ones who can make out
a doctor's handwriting.
460
00:20:41,086 --> 00:20:42,576
Yeah, go!
461
00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,990
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
462
00:20:47,027 --> 00:20:49,757
Larry David. I dropped off
a prescription the other day.
463
00:20:49,796 --> 00:20:51,424
- Ah yes yes, here we go.
- Yeah.
464
00:20:51,465 --> 00:20:54,263
Actually, I want to talk to you
about something else too.
465
00:20:54,302 --> 00:20:56,362
I'm going out
with a doctor,
466
00:20:56,405 --> 00:20:58,374
and she wrote me
this note,
467
00:20:58,408 --> 00:21:00,535
- and I cannot...
- And you can't read it.
468
00:21:00,577 --> 00:21:02,546
I can't read it!
It's unbelievable.
469
00:21:02,580 --> 00:21:04,548
- Nobody can!
- Yes.
470
00:21:04,582 --> 00:21:06,380
So somebody suggested
a pharmacist,
471
00:21:06,418 --> 00:21:08,385
'cause nobody can
decipher this thing.
472
00:21:08,419 --> 00:21:10,217
Let me-
let me take a shot.
473
00:21:10,255 --> 00:21:12,223
You're my only hope.
474
00:21:12,257 --> 00:21:15,888
"Larry, had a great time
last night.
475
00:21:15,929 --> 00:21:19,660
Would love to get
together Friday night
476
00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:22,362
- at the Bel-Air Regency Hotel."
- What?
477
00:21:22,403 --> 00:21:24,530
"Just the two of us.
478
00:21:24,572 --> 00:21:27,406
So tired of all these
479
00:21:27,443 --> 00:21:29,708
brothers and sisters
around.
480
00:21:29,746 --> 00:21:32,874
I know you feel
the same way.
481
00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:35,544
Tell me your life
wouldn't be better
482
00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:38,350
without the Blacks."
483
00:21:38,389 --> 00:21:39,947
Huh?
484
00:21:41,326 --> 00:21:43,886
Oh, okay, uh...
no no no no no.
485
00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:46,160
It's your business.
486
00:21:46,199 --> 00:21:48,394
- You're misinterpreting it.
- Here's your prescription.
487
00:21:48,434 --> 00:21:50,665
- No, see I've got-
- Take your prescription.
488
00:21:50,704 --> 00:21:53,070
- Thank you.
- I've got people in my house.
489
00:21:53,107 --> 00:21:55,406
There's...
490
00:21:55,443 --> 00:21:58,139
They're black but
their name is Black!
491
00:21:58,179 --> 00:22:00,648
She's got...
492
00:22:00,683 --> 00:22:03,345
her brothers
and sisters.
493
00:22:25,513 --> 00:22:28,005
It's open.
Come on in.
494
00:22:29,317 --> 00:22:32,845
Hi. You have got
the worst handwriting...
495
00:22:32,889 --> 00:22:34,584
Are you out of your mind?
496
00:22:34,624 --> 00:22:36,855
- No? You couldn't read it?
- You expect anybody to...
497
00:22:36,894 --> 00:22:38,885
- Couldn't read it? I gave it to 10,000-
- Oh!
498
00:22:38,929 --> 00:22:41,421
- A pharmacist, a pharmacist wound up...
- I'm so sorry.
499
00:22:41,466 --> 00:22:44,264
- ...translating that for me.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
500
00:22:49,341 --> 00:22:50,536
Mm.
501
00:23:11,702 --> 00:23:13,795
Thanks for driving me home.
502
00:23:13,838 --> 00:23:15,306
Really, I-
I couldn't drive.
503
00:23:15,340 --> 00:23:17,001
I just don't-
I don't feel like...
504
00:23:17,042 --> 00:23:19,603
I feel nauseous and like
I'm drugged or something.
505
00:23:19,645 --> 00:23:22,080
And as far as
what happened earlier,
506
00:23:22,116 --> 00:23:25,051
I'm mean, you know,
usually like, five-Mississippi.
507
00:23:25,085 --> 00:23:27,610
Honest to God,
five-Mississippi...
508
00:23:28,655 --> 00:23:30,487
that's all I need.
509
00:23:30,525 --> 00:23:32,857
Why don't you just go?
510
00:23:38,702 --> 00:23:41,034
Well...
good night.
511
00:24:03,965 --> 00:24:06,298
Ugh!
512
00:25:14,818 --> 00:25:16,719
Ahhh!
513
00:25:16,754 --> 00:25:20,019
Somebody go in there and put a sock
in that motherfucker's mouth!
514
00:25:25,731 --> 00:25:27,723
One second!
515
00:25:34,742 --> 00:25:37,041
Hey, L.D.
516
00:25:37,078 --> 00:25:39,046
- What's going on?
- Come on in, it's cold.
517
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,413
- You're back?
- Yeah. Couldn't sleep.
518
00:25:41,450 --> 00:25:43,645
Jeff's snore? Man, I'm telling you,
that was awful.
519
00:25:43,686 --> 00:25:45,746
Worse than
the damn hurricane.
520
00:25:45,789 --> 00:25:48,850
- I know, it's terrible.
- Kids need to sleep here. Y'all go to bed.
521
00:25:48,893 --> 00:25:50,383
- Good night, Larry.
- Good night.
522
00:25:50,428 --> 00:25:52,259
- Good night, Mom.
- Good night, y'all.
523
00:25:52,297 --> 00:25:55,859
Talk to your boy, man. Shit,
that motherfucker swallowed a kazoo.
524
00:25:55,901 --> 00:25:59,269
- Ridiculous. All fucking night!
- Yeah.
525
00:26:00,907 --> 00:26:02,899
Come on!
526
00:26:02,944 --> 00:26:04,969
It's safe.
It's safe.
527
00:26:05,012 --> 00:26:07,277
One-Mississippi,
two-Mississippi,
528
00:26:07,316 --> 00:26:09,910
three-Mississippi...
529
00:26:09,952 --> 00:26:12,285
My own daughter locks
herself in her room.
530
00:26:12,322 --> 00:26:14,722
Won't come out
whenever I'm home.
531
00:26:14,757 --> 00:26:17,885
My wife- one of the most warm,
loving people
532
00:26:17,927 --> 00:26:19,452
you could ever meet...
533
00:26:19,496 --> 00:26:21,362
has turned into a witch.
534
00:26:21,399 --> 00:26:24,334
A witch! 'Cause I'm bald,
it's changed everything.
535
00:26:24,369 --> 00:26:26,963
Ben Stiller
won't work with me
536
00:26:27,005 --> 00:26:30,272
because I'm bald!
I mean, come on.
537
00:26:30,310 --> 00:26:33,074
Do you know how many millions
I'm losing because of that?
538
00:26:33,113 --> 00:26:34,705
Millions I'm losing!
539
00:26:34,748 --> 00:26:37,343
All right, I don't know
what else to say. Thank you.
540
00:26:37,385 --> 00:26:39,946
All right, Mr. Greene. I understand
now we're going to hear
541
00:26:39,989 --> 00:26:42,150
from Mr. Larry David,
542
00:26:42,191 --> 00:26:45,683
who will testify on Mr. Greene's behalf.
Mr. David?
543
00:26:45,728 --> 00:26:48,027
- Thank you for being here.
- You're welcome.
544
00:26:48,064 --> 00:26:50,362
Mr. David, as you know,
we are looking into
545
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,699
allegations
of physician misconduct
546
00:26:52,737 --> 00:26:54,932
stemming
from the incident
547
00:26:54,972 --> 00:26:56,873
on the 17th
of this month.
548
00:26:56,908 --> 00:26:59,399
Would you please tell
the board what happened?
549
00:26:59,444 --> 00:27:02,175
I was having lunch
in the cafeteria,
550
00:27:02,215 --> 00:27:05,413
and I excused myself
to go to the bathroom.
551
00:27:05,452 --> 00:27:09,253
You know, it's-
it's a thing we all do.
552
00:27:09,290 --> 00:27:11,087
It's not a crime, right?
553
00:27:11,126 --> 00:27:14,096
- Don't have to be embarrassed.
- No need for embarrassment.
554
00:27:14,130 --> 00:27:15,392
Go ahead.
555
00:27:15,431 --> 00:27:17,092
Anyway, I went
into the stall.
556
00:27:17,133 --> 00:27:20,262
Generally, when I-
when I use a public toilet,
557
00:27:20,303 --> 00:27:22,931
I'll- I'll go into the stall
as opposed to the urinals.
558
00:27:22,973 --> 00:27:25,465
I find there's, you know,
there's no privacy,
559
00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:28,480
and if there's no dividers,
it's kind of like going in a trough.
560
00:27:28,514 --> 00:27:30,414
All right, all right.
Go ahead, please.
561
00:27:30,449 --> 00:27:32,543
Anyway, so I went
into the stall...
562
00:27:32,585 --> 00:27:35,281
I guess it's kind
of a habit now
563
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,381
for me to go
into the stall, in a way.
564
00:27:37,425 --> 00:27:39,655
Um, if it's open,
if it's available,
565
00:27:39,693 --> 00:27:41,491
I'll- I'll generally
take the stall.
566
00:27:41,530 --> 00:27:44,795
Of course, what you find in there is-
you know, is anybody's guess.
567
00:27:44,833 --> 00:27:47,200
Anyway,
so I'm in the stall,
568
00:27:47,236 --> 00:27:51,674
and I overhear this guy
talking on his cell phone.
569
00:27:51,708 --> 00:27:55,007
And he's talking to a friend of his
and he's getting very upset,
570
00:27:55,045 --> 00:27:57,013
'cause he had to move
some furniture
571
00:27:57,047 --> 00:27:59,209
and he hurt his hand,
and he- and he's saying,
572
00:27:59,250 --> 00:28:02,186
"And then I hurt my hand
'cause this 300-Ib-"
573
00:28:03,923 --> 00:28:05,584
Sorry I'm late.
574
00:28:07,494 --> 00:28:10,292
Please continue,
Mr. David.
575
00:28:10,330 --> 00:28:12,822
Go ahead, sir.
576
00:28:12,867 --> 00:28:14,392
Please continue.
577
00:28:16,672 --> 00:28:18,868
Mr. David,
is there a problem?
578
00:28:18,908 --> 00:28:23,073
Please, tell us what the man
on the cell phone said.
579
00:28:26,383 --> 00:28:28,943
Mr. David, tell us
what the man said!
580
00:28:28,986 --> 00:28:31,683
- Just say it!
- You are wasting this committee's time.
581
00:28:31,723 --> 00:28:34,352
- Larry, tell 'em.
- Please tell us what the man said.
582
00:28:34,393 --> 00:28:36,293
- Say it!
- Tell 'em! Will you tell them?
583
00:28:36,329 --> 00:28:38,092
- Just say it!
- Larry, just tell 'em!
584
00:28:38,131 --> 00:28:40,032
- Tell us what the man said!
- Tell them, please?
585
00:28:40,067 --> 00:28:42,126
- Just do it, Larry!
- Tell us now, Mr. David!
586
00:28:42,169 --> 00:28:44,832
- Just say it!
- Larry, tell 'em!45933
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