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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,577 --> 00:00:15,545 So then he goes like this... 2 00:00:15,579 --> 00:00:17,911 I go, "What is it, Dad?" He goes... 3 00:00:17,948 --> 00:00:19,917 like this. He can't talk. 4 00:00:19,951 --> 00:00:22,317 He's in the hospital, the bed, you know? 5 00:00:23,621 --> 00:00:26,556 So I lean in, and he whispers in my ear. 6 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,958 He says to me, 7 00:00:28,994 --> 00:00:31,656 "You're adopted." 8 00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:35,523 - He said that? - I think he said that. 9 00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:38,002 Maybe he said, "You're a doctor." I don't know. 10 00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:41,030 But why would he say I'm a doctor? I would know if I'm a doctor. 11 00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,474 Why do you think he would wait until now to tell you? 12 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:44,841 Maybe he thought he was dying. 13 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,903 But I'm still not 100% sure that he said it. 14 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,040 So basically what you're saying is, 15 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,483 you want me to find out if you're adopted or not. 16 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,146 Yes. 17 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:55,655 First, how did you find me? 18 00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:57,749 My friend said he read this big article 19 00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:59,761 about you in the L.A. Magazine. 20 00:00:59,795 --> 00:01:02,923 "Best Best Private Investigator in Los Angeles." 21 00:01:02,965 --> 00:01:04,933 Look, Mr. David, 22 00:01:04,967 --> 00:01:06,935 I have to be honest with you. 23 00:01:06,969 --> 00:01:08,937 My business and what I do... 24 00:01:08,971 --> 00:01:10,735 what I do is I service the community. 25 00:01:10,773 --> 00:01:12,400 Basically what I'm saying is, 26 00:01:12,442 --> 00:01:14,535 I don't see a way that you would, uh, 27 00:01:14,577 --> 00:01:16,704 be helping my community. 28 00:01:16,746 --> 00:01:18,714 What about... 29 00:01:18,748 --> 00:01:20,717 calling some bingo games or something? 30 00:01:20,751 --> 00:01:23,743 You got, like, a community center for bingo? 31 00:01:23,787 --> 00:01:25,846 Bingo's a distraction. 32 00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:27,721 Don't underestimate bingo. 33 00:01:29,426 --> 00:01:31,793 I've got extra sneakers that I don't wear anymore 34 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,390 - in pretty good condition, I must say. - Extra sneakers? 35 00:01:34,432 --> 00:01:36,229 I'd be more than happy to donate 'em. 36 00:01:36,268 --> 00:01:39,237 Mr. David, I don't think this is gonna work. 37 00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:41,240 It would mean an awful lot to me. 38 00:01:41,274 --> 00:01:43,242 Please please, think about it. 39 00:01:43,276 --> 00:01:45,676 If there's anything I can do to convince you, 40 00:01:45,711 --> 00:01:48,145 - I would. - I can't promise anything. 41 00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:50,308 What about a big brother kind of thing? 42 00:01:52,119 --> 00:01:54,053 Let me talk to some of my community leaders 43 00:01:54,087 --> 00:01:56,055 and see exactly what the community needs... 44 00:01:56,089 --> 00:01:58,216 I'm not talking about for a long time. 45 00:01:58,258 --> 00:02:00,226 Maybe for one afternoon, 46 00:02:00,261 --> 00:02:02,092 to a movie or something. 47 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:06,266 Um, is that a key to the men's room? 48 00:02:06,301 --> 00:02:08,496 Well, it says "men" on it. Yes. 49 00:02:08,536 --> 00:02:10,630 It's a natural question to ask. 50 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,403 - Yes. - May I borrow the key? 51 00:02:13,442 --> 00:02:15,433 - Yes, you may borrow the key. - Thank you. 52 00:02:15,477 --> 00:02:17,604 Okay. Thanks, Mr. Jones. 53 00:02:17,646 --> 00:02:19,614 - And you'll think about it? - I will. 54 00:02:19,648 --> 00:02:20,673 By the way... 55 00:02:20,717 --> 00:02:23,083 Iove the bow-tie. 56 00:02:35,266 --> 00:02:37,996 - What are you doing?! - Using the bathroom. 57 00:02:38,035 --> 00:02:40,663 That's my stall! Did you see the plaque on it... 58 00:02:40,705 --> 00:02:43,197 Yes, I know, but somebody was using the other one, so l... 59 00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:45,141 Well, then you wait! 60 00:02:45,177 --> 00:02:47,941 I couldn't wait. It was an emergency. I had to go! 61 00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,278 There's one stall for me, and you're in it! 62 00:02:50,315 --> 00:02:52,807 If you were here, I would have given you first dibs. 63 00:02:52,852 --> 00:02:55,548 But honestly, I haven't seen a handicapped person in the bathroom, 64 00:02:55,588 --> 00:02:58,489 maybe ever. So I thought I could perhaps take my chances. 65 00:02:58,524 --> 00:03:00,492 "A handicapped person"? 66 00:03:00,526 --> 00:03:03,018 That's nice. Oh, that's nice! 67 00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:04,826 - It's called disabled. Disabled. - Disabled? 68 00:03:04,865 --> 00:03:06,799 Well, that doesn't sound so hot. 69 00:03:06,834 --> 00:03:10,463 I don't really care what it sounds like to you, okay? It's disabled. 70 00:03:10,504 --> 00:03:12,200 I think I would prefer handicapped. 71 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,266 God, you know how archaic that word is? "A handicapped person"! 72 00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:16,743 That's demeaning, don't you know? 73 00:03:16,778 --> 00:03:18,336 - I'm a disabled person. - Oh, sorry. 74 00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:19,904 - You're sorry. - Oh, sorry. 75 00:03:19,948 --> 00:03:22,213 Now you've learned a lesson. Please, don't ever go 76 00:03:22,251 --> 00:03:24,344 - in my stall again! All right? - Fine, okay. 77 00:03:24,387 --> 00:03:25,752 - Thanks so much! - You're welcome. 78 00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,221 - I appreciate it. - You're welcome. 79 00:03:27,256 --> 00:03:29,247 Douche-bag. 80 00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:36,065 So you think he's a Muslim? 81 00:03:36,099 --> 00:03:38,329 - He had the bow-tie. - Huh? 82 00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,996 Do black men who aren't Muslims ever wear bow-ties? 83 00:03:41,038 --> 00:03:44,202 - I haven't seen it. - It'd be interesting to find that out. 84 00:03:44,242 --> 00:03:46,437 - I'm surprised you didn't ask him. - Yeah, me too. 85 00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:48,911 I mean, you know, I don't care either way, I'm just curious. 86 00:03:48,946 --> 00:03:51,847 Well, I'll tell you something, that I think he's a Muslim. 87 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,681 Hey, that's a handicapped spot. 88 00:03:57,423 --> 00:03:58,981 Wh-wh-what? 89 00:03:59,024 --> 00:04:00,719 What's with the walking? 90 00:04:00,759 --> 00:04:03,160 Fuck you! 91 00:04:03,196 --> 00:04:05,096 I have a stutter! 92 00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:07,566 Yeah, but you can walk. 93 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,626 Look at my license plate! 94 00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:12,639 I have permission, 95 00:04:12,673 --> 00:04:15,005 you fucking prick! 96 00:04:26,121 --> 00:04:28,089 Oh hey... 97 00:04:28,123 --> 00:04:29,750 we got a dog. 98 00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,656 Really? Why? 99 00:04:31,693 --> 00:04:34,390 - She wanted a dog. - You have to walk it and everything? 100 00:04:34,430 --> 00:04:36,955 - I'm sure I'll wind up doing stuff. - Oh, definitely. 101 00:04:36,999 --> 00:04:39,297 I know, yeah, but you know what? It's kind of cute. 102 00:04:39,335 --> 00:04:40,927 - Larry! - I kind of like it. Hi! 103 00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:42,939 - Hi! - Jodi! 104 00:04:42,973 --> 00:04:44,565 - How are you? - Great, great. 105 00:04:44,608 --> 00:04:46,633 - So good to see you! - Great to see you. 106 00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,838 - Hi Jodi. How are you doing? - Hi. 107 00:04:48,879 --> 00:04:50,972 - How are you doing, - Ms. Jodi Funkhouser? 108 00:04:52,149 --> 00:04:53,845 - So what's going on? - Nothing. 109 00:04:53,885 --> 00:04:55,716 Seeking attention, getting rejected. 110 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:58,313 - Are those new glasses? - No, but I cleaned them. 111 00:04:58,356 --> 00:05:00,187 You're so funny! 112 00:05:00,225 --> 00:05:02,022 - I'm here with my dad. - Oh yeah? 113 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:05,519 Are you coming to my parents' 25th anniversary party? 114 00:05:05,564 --> 00:05:06,826 I am. 115 00:05:06,866 --> 00:05:09,426 - Oh. Are you? - Eh... 116 00:05:09,468 --> 00:05:11,436 It'll be fun, really. Think about it. 117 00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:13,405 I'm not gonna think about it, but whatever. 118 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,998 - I really hope you come. - Well, thanks. 119 00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:17,032 - It's so good to see you. - Good to see you. 120 00:05:17,077 --> 00:05:19,045 - Wow, great to see you. - Yeah. Bye-bye. 121 00:05:19,079 --> 00:05:20,774 Bye. 122 00:05:21,982 --> 00:05:24,383 All right, is it my imagination? 123 00:05:24,418 --> 00:05:27,216 Does she like you that much or does she dislike me that much? 124 00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:30,053 Oh, lesbians love me. They love me. 125 00:05:30,091 --> 00:05:32,423 - How is that? - Well, when I first got to L.A. 126 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,429 You remember... you know Patty, my friend Patty. 127 00:05:34,463 --> 00:05:36,124 - Patty, yeah. - Well, she's a lesbian. 128 00:05:36,165 --> 00:05:37,632 - Yes. - You know, so, obviously, 129 00:05:37,666 --> 00:05:39,964 they talk amongst themselves, and the word got out 130 00:05:40,002 --> 00:05:42,402 that I'm a friend o' lesbians. 131 00:05:42,437 --> 00:05:45,339 - You're a friend o' lesbians! - Yes, they know that. 132 00:05:45,375 --> 00:05:47,502 So the community has completely embraced you. 133 00:05:47,544 --> 00:05:50,672 Totally embraced me. Completely. 134 00:05:50,713 --> 00:05:52,806 More so than any other community. 135 00:05:52,849 --> 00:05:54,818 Including Jews. 136 00:05:54,852 --> 00:05:56,581 - Ready? This way. - Hi, two. Yeah. 137 00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:01,724 Oh, Jeez. 138 00:06:03,427 --> 00:06:06,261 The men's room key from the private investigator's office. 139 00:06:06,298 --> 00:06:07,925 I forgot to bring it back. 140 00:06:07,966 --> 00:06:10,196 - I'm always doing that. - Hey, 141 00:06:10,235 --> 00:06:12,703 check out the bow-tie here. 142 00:06:12,737 --> 00:06:14,729 It's a smart look. 143 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,799 I think I'm gonna get me one of those. 144 00:06:16,842 --> 00:06:19,140 You know what? You oughtta try wearing a bow-tie. 145 00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,146 - It'd be a good look for you. Hi! - Hi. 146 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:22,977 - How are you doing? How are you doing? - Great! 147 00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:24,813 Hey, thanks for sending the invite back. 148 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,842 - Oh, sure. I'm excited. - We're gonna have a blast. 149 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,117 - It's gonna be... are you coming? - Eh... 150 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,249 - Tell me you're coming. Please. - I don't know. 151 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,122 25 years of marriage! 152 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,561 - Rosie's coming. - Rosie O'Donnell? 153 00:06:35,597 --> 00:06:38,498 And I have Larry David's place card right next to hers. 154 00:06:38,533 --> 00:06:41,058 - Really? You're sitting me next to her? - Right next to her. 155 00:06:41,102 --> 00:06:43,332 - You know Rosie O'Donnell? - I know her from New York. 156 00:06:43,371 --> 00:06:45,340 We used to hang out together doing comedy. 157 00:06:45,374 --> 00:06:46,398 You'll have a great time. 158 00:06:46,442 --> 00:06:48,467 - Just send the invitation back, okay? - Oh, thank you. 159 00:06:48,510 --> 00:06:50,740 - I'll see you guys there. I'm excited. - By the way, 160 00:06:50,779 --> 00:06:52,804 - Jodie's really looking good. - She does look great. 161 00:06:52,848 --> 00:06:55,113 - Doesn't she look great? - Oh, thanks a lot, yeah. 162 00:06:55,151 --> 00:06:57,119 She's dating a guy. I think it's serious. 163 00:06:57,153 --> 00:06:58,882 She's dating a guy?! 164 00:06:58,922 --> 00:07:00,890 Yeah, she's no longer gay. 165 00:07:00,924 --> 00:07:03,984 What? You're kidding! 166 00:07:04,027 --> 00:07:05,996 That's fantastic! 167 00:07:06,030 --> 00:07:08,157 Congratulations! Good for you. 168 00:07:08,199 --> 00:07:11,066 She's not a lesbian anymore. 169 00:07:11,102 --> 00:07:13,593 Oh my God. Good going. 170 00:07:13,638 --> 00:07:15,698 All right, I'll see you, uh, soon. 171 00:07:15,741 --> 00:07:18,175 Yeah, I'll see you at the party. 172 00:07:28,688 --> 00:07:31,384 Larry, we need to talk. 173 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,753 It's over? 174 00:07:35,796 --> 00:07:37,525 What's over? 175 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,657 The marriage. 176 00:07:42,169 --> 00:07:43,898 Why would our marriage be over? 177 00:07:43,937 --> 00:07:45,906 You said, 178 00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:47,874 "We need to talk." 179 00:07:47,909 --> 00:07:50,810 Yeah, we need to talk about Marty Funkhouser's party! 180 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,837 Oh, okay. I thought... 181 00:07:53,882 --> 00:07:57,182 - eh, forget it. - No no no, what did you think? 182 00:07:58,554 --> 00:08:00,954 Well, you know, you said, "We need to talk." 183 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,685 Generally, when couples break up, 184 00:08:03,726 --> 00:08:05,922 that's how they introduce it, you know, "We need to talk." 185 00:08:05,962 --> 00:08:08,590 - So I just thought it was... - Well, why would you... 186 00:08:08,632 --> 00:08:10,600 why would you even think that? 187 00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:13,262 Well, because women have broken up with me many times, 188 00:08:13,303 --> 00:08:15,328 and they've always introduced it with "We need to talk." 189 00:08:15,372 --> 00:08:18,171 So I'm just sort of conditioned for that response. 190 00:08:18,209 --> 00:08:20,905 And when women broke up with you, 191 00:08:20,945 --> 00:08:22,776 did you light up like that? 192 00:08:22,814 --> 00:08:24,509 Light up? 193 00:08:24,549 --> 00:08:26,016 - Yeah. - Did I light up? 194 00:08:26,050 --> 00:08:28,349 "Oh, it's over?" 195 00:08:28,387 --> 00:08:30,412 You know, it could have been a defense mechanism. 196 00:08:30,456 --> 00:08:33,118 That's how I react to things. I go the other way, 197 00:08:33,158 --> 00:08:36,720 so I don't get hurt. I protect myself. 198 00:08:36,763 --> 00:08:39,857 You understand. So what about the party? Marty Funkhouser's party... 199 00:08:39,899 --> 00:08:41,833 Have you been thinking about this for a while? 200 00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:44,234 No! Not at all! No, of course not. 201 00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:47,468 So what about the Funkhouser party? 202 00:08:47,508 --> 00:08:51,342 Well, I wanted to know if we're going or not. 203 00:08:51,379 --> 00:08:53,609 I need to send in the RSVP and... 204 00:08:53,647 --> 00:08:56,241 I wasn't going, and now I've changed my mind. 205 00:08:56,283 --> 00:08:58,081 Rosie O'Donnell's gonna be there. 206 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,611 Our table. 207 00:09:00,655 --> 00:09:02,486 And you know what else? 208 00:09:02,524 --> 00:09:05,322 I might wear a bow-tie. 209 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,989 - What do you think of that? - You're gonna wear a bow-tie? 210 00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:10,464 Are you loving that? Is that fantastic? 211 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,468 How about that for an idea, huh? 212 00:09:12,502 --> 00:09:14,402 I, well... 213 00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:16,428 You're gonna love it. 214 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,737 - Well, look who's here. - Wanda! 215 00:09:18,776 --> 00:09:20,403 - Look who's here. - How are you doing? 216 00:09:20,444 --> 00:09:22,344 Welcome! This is our new house. 217 00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:24,210 - What do you think? - Well, what do you think? 218 00:09:24,248 --> 00:09:25,943 - Oh, the rental house. - This is a rental. 219 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:29,249 It's just for a few months until the renovation's done. You know. 220 00:09:29,287 --> 00:09:32,120 Shit, I mean, you're renting, so I can be honest. 221 00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:33,749 - Yeah, yeah. - I don't like it. 222 00:09:33,792 --> 00:09:35,657 - Kinda cold, like a hotel. - Yeah. 223 00:09:35,693 --> 00:09:38,128 A hotel? Hotels are good. You know, there's a lot of activity 224 00:09:38,164 --> 00:09:40,155 in the hotel lobby. I think that's a good thing. 225 00:09:40,199 --> 00:09:42,326 Why don't you put a little bellman's cap on... 226 00:09:42,368 --> 00:09:44,393 - Okay, I'll put a bellman's cap on. ...and run around. 227 00:09:44,437 --> 00:09:46,632 Put a little concierge desk over there. 228 00:09:46,672 --> 00:09:49,437 - Hey, Wanda, let me ask you a question. - What? 229 00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:51,501 Is it wrong to assume 230 00:09:51,545 --> 00:09:55,538 that a black man wearing a bow-tie is a Muslim? 231 00:09:55,582 --> 00:09:57,813 Why are you asking me some bullshit like that? 232 00:09:57,852 --> 00:09:59,285 What the fuck, Larry?! 233 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,845 I'm not your link into the black world, okay? 234 00:10:01,889 --> 00:10:05,222 So stop asking me shit about black people and stuff, all right? 235 00:10:05,259 --> 00:10:07,124 Okay, but let me ask you this: 236 00:10:07,161 --> 00:10:10,757 Have you ever seen a black man wearing a bow-tie 237 00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:13,734 - who's not a Muslim? - Who gives a fuck? 238 00:10:13,769 --> 00:10:15,100 It's just something you may have observed. 239 00:10:15,137 --> 00:10:16,900 - Have you observed... - Larry, I don't... 240 00:10:16,939 --> 00:10:19,568 - Have you ever observed a black man... - Larry, I don't... 241 00:10:19,609 --> 00:10:21,839 ...who's not a Muslim wearing a bow-tie? That's all. 242 00:10:21,878 --> 00:10:24,142 You think Farrakhan went out and bought up 243 00:10:24,180 --> 00:10:25,477 all the bow-ties or something? 244 00:10:25,515 --> 00:10:27,278 He's sitting there holding on to bow-ties 245 00:10:27,317 --> 00:10:29,616 and only Muslims get 'em? What the fuck, Larry? 246 00:10:29,653 --> 00:10:31,678 You... what... no. I don't know. 247 00:10:31,722 --> 00:10:33,121 Fair enough. Good answer. 248 00:10:33,157 --> 00:10:35,125 "I don't know." I totally accept it. 249 00:10:35,159 --> 00:10:37,252 - I got the dog. - That's what I want to see. 250 00:10:37,294 --> 00:10:39,490 - You've got to see him. Sheriff! - Sheriff! 251 00:10:39,531 --> 00:10:42,523 - Hello boy! - He's a cutie! 252 00:10:46,071 --> 00:10:49,371 - What the hell... - I think it's you, Wanda. 253 00:10:49,408 --> 00:10:51,968 - One of y'all wanna grab Cujo? - Um... 254 00:10:53,312 --> 00:10:55,712 Come on, it's just Wanda. It's just Wanda. 255 00:10:55,748 --> 00:10:58,308 I'm sorry. He's very friendly. 256 00:10:59,353 --> 00:11:01,719 We're all done in there. 257 00:11:01,755 --> 00:11:04,189 Just, uh, you have to wait overnight for the... 258 00:11:04,224 --> 00:11:06,158 hey! Hey, little buddy. Come here. 259 00:11:06,193 --> 00:11:07,660 What's wrong with your dog? 260 00:11:07,694 --> 00:11:09,595 I don't know. See how friendly he is? 261 00:11:09,631 --> 00:11:12,225 Good dog! He probably smells my dog. 262 00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,331 - Hey! Shit! - Oh my God! 263 00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,034 - God! - Hey, come on! 264 00:11:19,074 --> 00:11:20,701 Get over here. 265 00:11:20,743 --> 00:11:22,711 - What's with... - I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 266 00:11:22,745 --> 00:11:24,736 What did you do? 267 00:11:26,549 --> 00:11:28,813 - I'm really sorry. - It's okay. 268 00:11:28,851 --> 00:11:30,649 I don't know what's going on. 269 00:11:30,687 --> 00:11:33,383 - I've never seen him like this. - I'm really sorry. 270 00:11:33,423 --> 00:11:36,256 - You know what's going on. - Huh? 271 00:11:36,293 --> 00:11:38,261 You have a racist dog! 272 00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:40,355 - That dog hates black people. - Wanda. 273 00:11:40,398 --> 00:11:42,195 Larry, you trained the dog to hate black people? 274 00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:44,258 No, I didn't train it to hate black people. 275 00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:46,270 Has it barked at any white people? 276 00:11:46,304 --> 00:11:48,272 No, he's... he's... 277 00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:50,070 He hasn't barked at any white people. 278 00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:52,303 Exactly. The dog is racist. 279 00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,039 Sheriff's racist? 280 00:11:54,079 --> 00:11:55,706 Sheriff?! 281 00:11:55,747 --> 00:11:57,544 That's a perfect name for a racist dog. 282 00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:00,917 Where did you get this dog, the Klan meeting or something? 283 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,650 - Larry picked him out at the pound. - The pound. 284 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,022 Sheriff the fucking dog that eats black people. 285 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,391 What the fuck, man? I'll tell you what, 286 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,330 y'all stay here and pet your crazy-ass racist dog, 287 00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,458 but I am not bringing my black ass 288 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,900 back up into this fucking hotel 289 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,666 until y'all get rid of that fucking Klan dog. 290 00:12:18,706 --> 00:12:21,574 Got a Klan dog! 291 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:24,044 Looking at me like I'm a damn T-bone. 292 00:12:24,079 --> 00:12:26,479 - I'll call you. - Aw, shut up. 293 00:12:38,227 --> 00:12:40,389 So we have three choices. 294 00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,660 I'm sorry, the first that we have is 295 00:12:42,699 --> 00:12:44,394 a skirt steak... 296 00:12:46,903 --> 00:12:48,871 Look, I can't... I can't hear you. 297 00:12:48,905 --> 00:12:50,931 I can't hear. Could you repeat that? What's that? 298 00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:52,943 It's a skirt steak, sir, or stir fry, 299 00:12:52,977 --> 00:12:55,605 uh, and that's... 300 00:12:59,283 --> 00:13:01,844 Excuse me. Excuse me. 301 00:13:01,887 --> 00:13:04,412 Excuse me, could you just keep it down a little bit? 302 00:13:04,456 --> 00:13:06,253 We can't hear the waiter. We're trying to order. 303 00:13:06,291 --> 00:13:08,316 - Keep it down? - We're trying to hear the waiter. 304 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,353 I'm trying to have a good time with my family over here. Know what I mean? 305 00:13:11,398 --> 00:13:13,059 I'm not keeping it down. I'm sorry, 306 00:13:13,099 --> 00:13:16,626 we need to keep it down for Tucker Carlson over here. 307 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:19,104 "Keep it down"! 308 00:13:21,609 --> 00:13:24,271 - Tucker Carlson? - Tucker Carlson. 309 00:13:24,311 --> 00:13:27,576 There's a chicken rotisserie 310 00:13:27,615 --> 00:13:30,641 and a portobello mushroom salad. 311 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,154 - Salad? - Yeah, well the portobello 312 00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,418 is cut up onto mixed greens. 313 00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:41,391 - Are you a vegetarian? - Yeah, it depends. 314 00:13:41,431 --> 00:13:43,262 - She is. - Yeah. 315 00:13:43,299 --> 00:13:45,961 So that would sort of be the best choice. It's really good. 316 00:13:46,002 --> 00:13:48,937 I'm gonna get the skirt steak. Want me to order for you? 317 00:13:48,971 --> 00:13:51,064 - What do you want? - Get me the chicken. 318 00:13:51,107 --> 00:13:53,076 Excuse me. 319 00:13:53,110 --> 00:13:55,772 Uh, I'll have the portobello, yeah. 320 00:13:55,813 --> 00:13:58,543 - Hey, Sue. - What? 321 00:13:58,582 --> 00:14:00,550 What's with the snub? 322 00:14:00,584 --> 00:14:02,553 Oh, come on, Larry. 323 00:14:02,587 --> 00:14:04,316 You're acting like you don't know? 324 00:14:04,355 --> 00:14:06,323 What? I don't know why... 325 00:14:06,357 --> 00:14:07,949 What? What did I do? 326 00:14:07,992 --> 00:14:10,222 All right, let me give you a clue, okay? 327 00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:12,753 Starts with a "J" and it ends with an "I." 328 00:14:14,366 --> 00:14:15,458 Jedi? 329 00:14:15,501 --> 00:14:17,435 - You know... - What? 330 00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:18,698 It's Jodi, okay? 331 00:14:18,738 --> 00:14:20,603 Wh-what did you hear? 332 00:14:20,639 --> 00:14:23,006 Well, I heard that you just got so excited, 333 00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:25,739 like you were so happy that she wasn't with women anymore. 334 00:14:25,779 --> 00:14:27,542 - That's ridiculous. - It's not ridiculous. 335 00:14:27,581 --> 00:14:30,175 - I was happy for him. - I don't know what's happened to you. 336 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:33,210 I wasn't really happy for him, I was pretending I was happy for him. 337 00:14:33,254 --> 00:14:35,950 - Oh really? - But that's all. I was just pretending. 338 00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:37,981 - No no no no. - No, I wasn't sincere. 339 00:14:38,025 --> 00:14:39,424 I wasn't sincerely excited. 340 00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:41,485 - You're not being sincere now. - No, now I'm being sincere. 341 00:14:41,529 --> 00:14:45,091 You know, the lesbian community used to revere you. 342 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,830 - You used to be such a liberal guy. - I'm liberal. 343 00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:49,861 - No, you're not liberal. - I am liberal. 344 00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:52,066 Look what you look like. Look at the bow-tie. 345 00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:54,508 The bow-tie... I just tried out a bow-tie, so what? 346 00:14:54,544 --> 00:14:56,876 Excuse me, excuse me. You know what? I'm sorry. 347 00:14:56,913 --> 00:14:59,211 Don't even waste your time talking to this man. 348 00:14:59,249 --> 00:15:00,910 This man is a racist. 349 00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:03,419 He has a racist dog. 350 00:15:03,454 --> 00:15:05,854 He has a dog that attacks black people. 351 00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,718 Okay, I do... the dog is racist. 352 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,559 - But I didn't train him to be racist. - Larry, forget about it. 353 00:15:12,597 --> 00:15:14,189 How do you know that? 354 00:15:14,232 --> 00:15:16,223 Because we talk, Larry. 355 00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:25,936 Are you having fun or what? 356 00:15:25,978 --> 00:15:27,741 What did you tell Jodi? 357 00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:30,806 I told her you were just maybe a little overjoyous 358 00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:32,910 at the fact that she was dating a boy. 359 00:15:32,953 --> 00:15:35,080 - That's all I said. - All the lesbians hate me now. 360 00:15:35,122 --> 00:15:37,056 - Oh, so it's my fault? - Yes it is! 361 00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:38,614 You celebrated! 362 00:15:38,659 --> 00:15:40,490 I was pretending to be happy for your benefit. 363 00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:42,290 - I don't need benefit! - You need benefit! 364 00:15:42,329 --> 00:15:44,093 - What do I need benefit for? - You need benefit. 365 00:15:44,132 --> 00:15:47,067 I'm happy if Jodi's happy. You're overblowing this whole thing. 366 00:15:47,101 --> 00:15:48,932 - I don't think so. - We're at a party. 367 00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:50,801 I don't like being snubbed by lesbians. 368 00:15:50,839 --> 00:15:52,830 - It's their prerogative. - I'm their biggest supporter. 369 00:15:52,874 --> 00:15:54,934 - You're their biggest supporter? - Yes I am! 370 00:15:54,977 --> 00:15:57,002 Well, they're in trouble then. 371 00:15:57,046 --> 00:15:58,980 By the way, where's Rosie O'Donnell? 372 00:15:59,014 --> 00:16:01,005 She's not here yet. 373 00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:02,711 Sure you invited her? 374 00:16:02,751 --> 00:16:04,219 She'll be here. 375 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:07,781 - When? - Soon. 376 00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:23,831 Okay. 377 00:16:26,211 --> 00:16:29,578 Dan, Danny, come over here. I want you to meet somebody. 378 00:16:29,615 --> 00:16:31,845 This is Jodi's new boyfriend. This is Larry David. 379 00:16:31,884 --> 00:16:33,715 - Hi, how are you? - How are you doing? 380 00:16:33,752 --> 00:16:36,153 - Have a good time. - Okay. 381 00:16:36,189 --> 00:16:37,986 Hey, by the way, you and Jodi... 382 00:16:38,024 --> 00:16:40,754 - fantastic, great news. - Yeah, yeah. 383 00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:42,522 - Pretty good. - Yes it is indeed. 384 00:16:42,562 --> 00:16:44,531 Pretty, pretty, 385 00:16:44,565 --> 00:16:47,193 pretty, pretty good. 386 00:16:48,369 --> 00:16:49,700 - Yeah. - Terrific. 387 00:16:49,737 --> 00:16:51,705 And to have to overcome 388 00:16:51,739 --> 00:16:53,707 the whole situation, 389 00:16:53,741 --> 00:16:55,471 the whole sexual thing, you know? 390 00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:58,411 Oh. Oh, there's nothing to overcome, really. 391 00:16:58,446 --> 00:17:01,381 Well, you know, the fact that she's been with women before you. 392 00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:04,716 - I know... - I'd be really intimidated by that, 393 00:17:04,754 --> 00:17:07,052 - because, you know, we really... - Intimidated? 394 00:17:07,089 --> 00:17:08,920 Well, because we don't know what we're doing 395 00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:11,153 as much as the women know. You know, it's their equipment. 396 00:17:11,193 --> 00:17:14,356 They own the equipment, so they know what to do with it. 397 00:17:14,397 --> 00:17:16,263 You know what's going on down there? 398 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,167 - I don't have any idea. - I'd like to think I do. 399 00:17:19,202 --> 00:17:22,865 That whole area is so mysterious to me, you know? 400 00:17:22,906 --> 00:17:25,432 - I'm just saying it's... - Well, I mean... 401 00:17:25,476 --> 00:17:27,603 I'd be intimidated, I know that. 402 00:17:31,616 --> 00:17:32,878 Yeah. 403 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:42,721 I always wondered, do you walk around in your bikini at home? 404 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,697 The way he talks, you'd think that he's got... 405 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,791 Hey. I think I want to go home. 406 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,802 Let's go home. 407 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,531 No, we haven't even had dessert yet. 408 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,664 So what? We don't need dessert. Come on. 409 00:17:53,707 --> 00:17:55,437 Well, it's rude. You stay for dessert. 410 00:17:55,476 --> 00:17:57,876 - Then you can go. - So what, dessert? It's no big deal. 411 00:17:57,912 --> 00:18:01,575 - We can just go. Come on. - Why do you want to go home? 412 00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:03,742 I need to use the bathroom. 413 00:18:05,587 --> 00:18:07,987 - So go use the bathroom. - I don't want to use this bathroom. 414 00:18:08,023 --> 00:18:09,354 - I want my own... - Why? 415 00:18:09,391 --> 00:18:11,757 This project demands I get back to my base. 416 00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:13,658 I need my base. 417 00:18:13,695 --> 00:18:15,664 - We're not going home... - What's the matter? 418 00:18:15,698 --> 00:18:17,666 - Larry wants to go home... - What... 419 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:19,600 to use the bathroom. It's like... 420 00:18:19,635 --> 00:18:21,728 Cheryl, you need to tell the whole table? 421 00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:24,171 - Why don't you make an announcement? - Hold on here. 422 00:18:24,207 --> 00:18:26,642 You've never done that with me at lunch? It's the craziest thing. 423 00:18:26,677 --> 00:18:29,475 It's ridiculous. He can use this bathroom. 424 00:18:29,513 --> 00:18:31,708 - That's what everybody... - You're a gentile. 425 00:18:31,749 --> 00:18:34,183 You'll go in the middle of Fifth Avenue. It's different for Jews. 426 00:18:34,218 --> 00:18:36,312 - No, you're at an affair. - What? 427 00:18:36,354 --> 00:18:38,754 You cannot leave an affair before the dessert is served. 428 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:41,020 What is this dessert thing? We don't have to leave after. 429 00:18:41,059 --> 00:18:43,050 - We can leave before dessert. - Better to leave after. 430 00:18:43,094 --> 00:18:45,085 No, you do not leave before dessert. 431 00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:46,928 Who made this up? Where's this rule? 432 00:18:46,966 --> 00:18:49,560 Everybody here seems to know, but the rules don't apply to you? 433 00:18:49,602 --> 00:18:51,900 What am I supposed to do? Sit here for four hours 434 00:18:51,937 --> 00:18:53,529 and be uncomfortable? 435 00:18:53,572 --> 00:18:54,937 Should I go clean it for you before you go in there? 436 00:18:54,974 --> 00:18:57,102 - It's not even the cleanliness. - Okay, just go. 437 00:18:57,144 --> 00:18:59,874 We don't need to talk about your bathroom... 438 00:18:59,913 --> 00:19:02,040 - so just go. - You're the one who's telling everybody 439 00:19:02,082 --> 00:19:03,982 - in the whole place! - Just go! 440 00:19:21,670 --> 00:19:24,605 Hey, where do you think you're going, pal? What are you doing? 441 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,600 I'm going to the bathroom. 442 00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:31,011 - That's a handicapped stall. - We're waiting in line. 443 00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:33,777 I have a stutter, 444 00:19:33,817 --> 00:19:36,183 you pricks! 445 00:19:36,219 --> 00:19:38,882 Stutter my ass! That's for people who can't walk. 446 00:19:38,923 --> 00:19:41,448 Oh, all right, fine, okay. 447 00:19:41,492 --> 00:19:43,892 Oh, your stutter's gone, jackass! 448 00:19:43,928 --> 00:19:46,328 - Give me a fucking break, asshole. - Stupid ass. 449 00:19:47,599 --> 00:19:49,396 All right, that sounds good. 450 00:19:49,434 --> 00:19:52,062 All right, I'll see you in about 10-15 minutes. 451 00:19:52,104 --> 00:19:54,038 All right, great. Hey. 452 00:19:54,072 --> 00:19:56,540 - I'll see you in a few hours. - Huh? Few hours? 453 00:19:56,575 --> 00:19:57,941 - Yeah. - Where are you going? 454 00:19:57,977 --> 00:19:59,945 I'm meeting Julie. 455 00:19:59,979 --> 00:20:02,470 - Don't forget to take the dog out. - Hello. 456 00:20:02,515 --> 00:20:05,712 Out? What do you mean? Out for a walk or out with me? 457 00:20:05,751 --> 00:20:07,310 Hello, Mr. David. 458 00:20:07,354 --> 00:20:10,255 - This is Omar Jones. - Oh, hi. 459 00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:13,726 I gotta tell you, Mr. David, I was thinking about taking the case, 460 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,250 but I got a distressing call today 461 00:20:15,295 --> 00:20:17,321 about your behavior last night at the banquet. 462 00:20:17,365 --> 00:20:19,333 What are you talking about? 463 00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:21,198 According to one of the brothers, you said, 464 00:20:21,236 --> 00:20:23,363 "Keep it down." 465 00:20:23,404 --> 00:20:25,634 No no, all that happened was I was trying to order 466 00:20:25,673 --> 00:20:27,938 and I couldn't hear the waiter because some of your brothers 467 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,275 were making too much noise at the next table, that's all. 468 00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,712 How do you even know about this? 469 00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:35,444 We talk, Mr. David. We talk. 470 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,454 - Huh. - And what about my bathroom key? 471 00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:40,752 I'm really sorry about that. I'm returning it today, I promise. 472 00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:42,985 Well, like I said, I'm gonna have to think about it. 473 00:20:43,026 --> 00:20:45,460 Thank you. 474 00:20:55,239 --> 00:20:57,207 How was everything? 475 00:20:57,241 --> 00:20:58,766 - Pretty good. - Great. 476 00:20:58,810 --> 00:21:01,335 Do you want coffee, dessert, on the house? 477 00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:02,972 - On the house? - Yeah. 478 00:21:03,015 --> 00:21:05,745 I'll have a cupcake. 479 00:21:05,784 --> 00:21:07,752 - I'll take a dessert on the house. - Okay. 480 00:21:07,786 --> 00:21:10,915 - Fabulous. Thank you. - Are those new glasses? 481 00:21:10,957 --> 00:21:13,016 No, I just cleaned them. 482 00:21:13,059 --> 00:21:15,050 It's nice to have you back, Larry. 483 00:21:17,964 --> 00:21:21,093 You, my friend, are back in the lesbian bosom. 484 00:21:40,623 --> 00:21:42,386 Wow. 485 00:21:42,425 --> 00:21:44,916 - I'm back. - You are back. 486 00:21:44,961 --> 00:21:47,088 By the looks of things, better than ever. 487 00:21:48,264 --> 00:21:52,031 But what... I wonder what turned it around. 488 00:21:54,738 --> 00:21:57,935 Oh dear. Uh-oh. 489 00:21:57,975 --> 00:21:59,910 What? 490 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:02,037 - What does Funkhouser want? - I don't know. 491 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,514 I'll be right back. How did he even know I was here? 492 00:22:08,052 --> 00:22:10,021 What did you say to Dan? 493 00:22:10,055 --> 00:22:12,615 What did l... hello, boy. 494 00:22:12,658 --> 00:22:15,286 - Did you meet Sheriff, my dog? - No, I didn't. 495 00:22:15,327 --> 00:22:18,785 I said, "Dan, this is Larry David." Then I left you. 496 00:22:18,831 --> 00:22:20,925 - And I said hi, I said hello. - Yeah, yeah. 497 00:22:20,967 --> 00:22:23,663 - I said, "Hi, Dan." - Yeah, what else? 498 00:22:23,703 --> 00:22:26,729 You know, a little small talk, "Hi, how are you doing? 499 00:22:26,773 --> 00:22:29,402 - Where are you from?" and all that. - That's it? 500 00:22:29,443 --> 00:22:31,343 And then, what did I say? I said, 501 00:22:31,379 --> 00:22:35,372 "It must be hard, as a guy, to follow..." 502 00:22:35,416 --> 00:22:38,385 Why didn't you just say, "Hello, I'm Larry. Nice to meet you"? 503 00:22:38,419 --> 00:22:40,479 I said that after hi. I said hi, then I said that. 504 00:22:40,522 --> 00:22:43,514 - What is wrong with you? - Problem? 505 00:22:43,558 --> 00:22:45,992 Yeah, problem. Now she's back with a woman. 506 00:22:47,596 --> 00:22:50,760 No wonder why they're all being so nice to me in there. 507 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,792 They're all smiling at me. Of course, it makes perfect sense. 508 00:22:53,836 --> 00:22:55,929 - I want to say something else. - Uh-huh. 509 00:22:55,972 --> 00:22:58,270 You left my party before dessert! 510 00:22:58,308 --> 00:23:00,277 How can you do that?! 511 00:23:00,311 --> 00:23:02,245 It's not proper etiquette! 512 00:23:02,279 --> 00:23:06,215 I don't subscribe to the wait-for-dessert rule 513 00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:07,547 before you can leave a party. 514 00:23:07,584 --> 00:23:10,782 Yeah, no one cares what you subscribe to, okay? 515 00:23:10,822 --> 00:23:14,053 We were trying to recreate what happened 25 years ago, 516 00:23:14,092 --> 00:23:17,425 and I said, "Larry, would you like to make a toast?" 517 00:23:17,462 --> 00:23:19,953 And someone said, "Larry went home to take a shit." 518 00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:22,627 Ah. 519 00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:29,865 You stay here. Okay, boy? 520 00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:32,469 You stay, Sheriff. 521 00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:42,781 - Hey! - Hey, Larry. 522 00:23:42,824 --> 00:23:44,587 - Hey, hi! - How are you? 523 00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:46,593 - Great. - Good to see you. 524 00:23:46,627 --> 00:23:48,595 Hey, by the way, I don't know 525 00:23:48,629 --> 00:23:52,225 if you heard anything about what's been going on... 526 00:23:52,267 --> 00:23:55,464 - Come on, I heard. I'm in the loop. - Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. 527 00:23:55,504 --> 00:23:57,472 It's all right, though. I don't think you should 528 00:23:57,506 --> 00:23:59,371 worry about it. Just... it's all good now. 529 00:23:59,408 --> 00:24:01,707 You know, what happened that day was 530 00:24:01,745 --> 00:24:03,679 I just got a little excited, but not... 531 00:24:03,713 --> 00:24:06,113 Hey hey hey hey, Larr. I stood up at the meeting, 532 00:24:06,149 --> 00:24:07,946 I told everybody, "I know the guy." 533 00:24:07,984 --> 00:24:09,645 I vouched for you. You're all right. 534 00:24:09,686 --> 00:24:12,383 - You're something, you know that? - Come on, come on! 535 00:24:12,423 --> 00:24:14,288 - It all worked out, right? - It's great. 536 00:24:14,325 --> 00:24:17,761 - She's happy, we're happy, you know? - Fantastic. 537 00:24:17,795 --> 00:24:20,787 She's back on the team. Everything's good. Don't even think about it. 538 00:24:20,831 --> 00:24:22,800 - Fantastic. - All right. 539 00:24:22,834 --> 00:24:24,096 - Hey. - Yeah. 540 00:24:24,136 --> 00:24:25,967 You know, we missed you at Funkhouser's party. 541 00:24:26,004 --> 00:24:28,199 The what? 542 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,401 Marty Funkhouser's 25th anniversary party. 543 00:24:30,442 --> 00:24:33,344 - Oh, Jodi's dad? - Yeah. 544 00:24:33,379 --> 00:24:35,745 Yeah, I don't really know him. No. 545 00:24:35,782 --> 00:24:39,411 - You weren't invited to that? - Nope, no no no. 546 00:24:39,452 --> 00:24:42,047 Was it good? Did you go? 547 00:24:42,089 --> 00:24:44,751 - Yeah, yeah, I went. - Yeah, it was good? 548 00:24:44,792 --> 00:24:46,692 And don't worry about that other thing. 549 00:24:46,727 --> 00:24:49,924 I just want you to know, gone, like it never happened. 550 00:24:49,963 --> 00:24:52,228 - Okay? Like it never happened. - Thanks, sweetheart. 551 00:24:52,267 --> 00:24:53,996 - All the lesbians love you. - Okay, love you. 552 00:24:54,035 --> 00:24:55,297 - I love you back. - Love you. 553 00:24:55,336 --> 00:24:57,566 I love you. Everyone loves you. All of us. 554 00:25:09,318 --> 00:25:10,876 You are a Muslim! 555 00:25:12,422 --> 00:25:14,413 Go, pray, pray. 556 00:25:20,564 --> 00:25:22,032 Let me ask you something. 557 00:25:22,066 --> 00:25:24,534 Are brothers and sisters a little overly sensitive 558 00:25:24,569 --> 00:25:26,332 to being told to keep it down? 559 00:25:26,370 --> 00:25:28,668 Because I know in the movies you guys tend to make 560 00:25:28,706 --> 00:25:30,799 a lot of noise sometimes. Am I right? 561 00:25:30,842 --> 00:25:34,210 'Cause that's kind of what happened at the party. 562 00:25:34,246 --> 00:25:36,214 What, did l... 563 00:25:36,248 --> 00:25:37,875 No, go back. 564 00:25:37,916 --> 00:25:40,578 Did I interrupt the praying? I'm sorry. 565 00:25:40,619 --> 00:25:42,815 - Don't worry about it. - All right. 566 00:25:42,856 --> 00:25:45,051 - Listen, Mr. David... - Look at the way you fold that up. 567 00:25:45,091 --> 00:25:46,683 It's like a yoga mat, huh? 568 00:25:46,726 --> 00:25:48,193 I just want you to know 569 00:25:48,228 --> 00:25:51,288 that Muslims are a very forgiving people. 570 00:25:51,331 --> 00:25:53,300 They are? 571 00:25:53,334 --> 00:25:56,235 - Yes we are. We're very forgiving. - Really? Huh. 572 00:25:56,270 --> 00:25:58,204 - Well, it's true. - There's a lot 573 00:25:58,239 --> 00:26:01,208 of meshugana Muslims, though, running around, are there not? 574 00:26:01,242 --> 00:26:03,473 Being that we are a forgiving people, I have decided 575 00:26:03,512 --> 00:26:05,503 to take on your case. 576 00:26:06,681 --> 00:26:09,878 But I'm gonna have to charge you 577 00:26:09,918 --> 00:26:12,148 a higher rate than I charge most people. 578 00:26:12,187 --> 00:26:14,713 Well, whatever you have to do. 579 00:26:14,757 --> 00:26:17,248 - You're gonna take the case? - I'm gonna take the case. 580 00:26:17,293 --> 00:26:19,056 - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. 581 00:26:19,095 --> 00:26:20,960 Do Muslims shake? 582 00:26:20,997 --> 00:26:22,989 - Yes, we do. - You do? 583 00:26:23,033 --> 00:26:24,500 - Yes, we do. - Great. 584 00:26:24,535 --> 00:26:26,503 To tell you the truth, 585 00:26:26,537 --> 00:26:28,505 I'm very excited about this. 586 00:26:28,539 --> 00:26:30,507 The whole adoption thing... 587 00:26:30,541 --> 00:26:32,873 I mean, this could be a huge thing for me. 588 00:26:32,910 --> 00:26:34,606 All right, Mr. David. 589 00:26:34,646 --> 00:26:36,580 Oh, guess what. 590 00:26:36,614 --> 00:26:38,582 Bathroom key. 591 00:26:38,616 --> 00:26:40,584 You know what? 592 00:26:40,618 --> 00:26:44,055 I gotta go again. I'm so sorry. 593 00:26:44,089 --> 00:26:46,319 All right. 594 00:27:11,052 --> 00:27:13,783 Well, looky here! 595 00:27:13,822 --> 00:27:16,120 Look what's doing here! 596 00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:20,060 Aren't you supposed to be in here? 597 00:27:20,095 --> 00:27:22,029 It seems to me you're using the wrong toilet. 598 00:27:22,064 --> 00:27:24,795 Somebody was in there. I had to use the normal one. 599 00:27:24,834 --> 00:27:26,802 Really? First of all, 600 00:27:26,836 --> 00:27:29,930 we don't like to be referred to as "normal," okay? 601 00:27:29,973 --> 00:27:33,238 We're "able-bodied." "Able-bodied," not "normal." 602 00:27:33,276 --> 00:27:35,142 That's like from the '80s. Who doesn't know that? 603 00:27:35,179 --> 00:27:37,909 I had to go to the bathroom. Somebody was in there. 604 00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:39,916 Well, then you wait. 605 00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:41,941 You wait. 606 00:27:51,496 --> 00:27:54,226 All right, Sheriff! 607 00:27:55,234 --> 00:27:57,759 Okay, good boy! Good boy. 608 00:27:57,803 --> 00:27:59,430 Mr. David. 609 00:27:59,472 --> 00:28:01,440 My bathroom key. 610 00:28:14,789 --> 00:28:15,983 Hey, nice dog. 611 00:28:16,024 --> 00:28:18,788 No, don't! 612 00:28:18,826 --> 00:28:22,023 I love dogs. I have a couple of my own. 613 00:28:23,731 --> 00:28:25,290 All right, just give me my key. 614 00:28:25,334 --> 00:28:27,029 Oh, I can't believe I forgot. 615 00:28:27,069 --> 00:28:29,902 Hopefully we won't have to keep going through the same thing. 616 00:28:29,938 --> 00:28:32,065 I'm sorry. Won't happen again. Won't happen again. 617 00:28:33,676 --> 00:28:36,441 - Nice dog. - Thank you. Good to see you. 618 00:28:37,447 --> 00:28:39,415 Hey! 619 00:28:39,449 --> 00:28:42,111 Good boy, good boy! Yeah! 620 00:28:42,152 --> 00:28:43,779 Oh, look! 621 00:28:43,820 --> 00:28:45,584 You got yourself a doggie! 622 00:28:50,194 --> 00:28:52,185 Sorry. 47770

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