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1
00:01:56,025 --> 00:02:01,003
'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in nasty situations.'
2
00:03:36,958 --> 00:03:39,234
'Let's play Botherguts!'
3
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,369
'Come on!
4
00:04:11,494 --> 00:04:14,378
'Three, two, one!
5
00:04:14,695 --> 00:04:18,879
'Go!
6
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,992
'Chuck her a bun!
7
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,599
'Not hungry?! That's a first?!
8
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,078
'Come on!
9
00:04:40,034 --> 00:04:41,339
'That'd hurt!
10
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:47,359
Brilliant!
11
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,437
Fucking brilliant, that!
12
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,239
That one does that sometimes.
Hang on.
13
00:05:40,412 --> 00:05:43,239
There's a little knob
in here somewhere.
14
00:05:45,514 --> 00:05:47,628
Almost the only real thing in there,
15
00:05:47,644 --> 00:05:49,899
and even that's grown
in a Petri dish.
16
00:05:51,115 --> 00:05:52,421
Thank you.
17
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,757
'Licking my pussy.'
18
00:06:39,924 --> 00:06:42,000
For Christ's sake!
19
00:06:42,764 --> 00:06:45,799
Way to mood-kill, blubbernaut!
Cheers for the reflection!
20
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,616
One minute I'm in slitsville,
the next there's a haunted pig
21
00:06:48,629 --> 00:06:52,069
gawping at me. They may as well
have cut to a war crime!
22
00:06:53,523 --> 00:06:54,832
Oi!
23
00:06:59,096 --> 00:07:00,399
You missed a bit.
24
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,269
Pie ape!
25
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,310
You see that?
26
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,183
Fucking pie ape!
27
00:07:19,984 --> 00:07:22,799
He'll be in lemon
and all before long!
28
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,279
'Selma Telse.'
29
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,957
'Howie Mandelbrot.'
30
00:08:02,991 --> 00:08:07,455
'Each headlines their own content on
one of your eight daylight streams.
31
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:11,353
'But they started here, like you.
32
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,921
'Putting their back into giving
back for a brighter now.
33
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:21,273
'Each paying their dues like you,
hoping to become a hot shot.'
34
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,808
'That wasn't good...
35
00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:37,654
'..that was beyond incredible!'
36
00:08:42,018 --> 00:08:45,675
'You decide the victors,
you control their fates,
37
00:08:45,974 --> 00:08:49,157
'you make the call on Hot Shots.
38
00:09:06,193 --> 00:09:11,552
'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situations.
39
00:09:11,570 --> 00:09:13,999
'So let's view it.'
40
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,639
'Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
41
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,879
'Resume viewing.
42
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,399
'Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
43
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,439
'Resume viewing.
44
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,439
'Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
45
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,679
'Resume viewing.'
46
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,947
'You are going to see it all.'
47
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,252
'Exclusively on Wraith Babes XL.
48
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,475
'Hey, what else were you planning
to do with that hand?'
49
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,039
'You lick my pussy, baby.
50
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,799
'I turn you on!
51
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,239
'Hi, I'm Roxy, hello.
52
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,723
'Hi, I'm Evie.'
53
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,799
Didn't let him sign in.
54
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,088
Told him to report to 22 down.
55
00:11:20,563 --> 00:11:21,906
Told ya!
56
00:11:22,571 --> 00:11:25,083
He's gone lemon, the lazy fuck!
57
00:12:03,081 --> 00:12:04,400
What do you think?
58
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,437
It's a bit much.
59
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,469
Yeah.
60
00:12:20,818 --> 00:12:23,889
'Best thing about my new lifestyle?
Where do I start?
61
00:12:24,581 --> 00:12:28,088
'I love choosing my own clothes
and I love gold.
62
00:12:28,722 --> 00:12:31,433
'I feel like it really
expresses who I really am
63
00:12:32,004 --> 00:12:34,319
'and I love looking over outside.
64
00:12:34,558 --> 00:12:37,759
'It's so beautiful sometimes, I just
wish that everyone could see it.'
65
00:12:37,884 --> 00:12:39,594
Nice outfit
66
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,879
Suits you.
67
00:12:44,686 --> 00:12:48,429
'Well, honesty is ruthless
so I suppose it's just honesty...
68
00:12:49,243 --> 00:12:50,561
'ruthless honesty.'
69
00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:09,111
Drying my hands.
70
00:14:10,778 --> 00:14:12,084
Impressive.
71
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,039
Have fun...
72
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,647
I mean, on the...
73
00:14:26,622 --> 00:14:28,239
'Hey, regular user!
74
00:14:28,364 --> 00:14:33,407
'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situation.
75
00:14:33,532 --> 00:14:34,855
'Select view... '
76
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,848
Dick.
77
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,817
Detritus. Sorry.
78
00:17:29,974 --> 00:17:31,155
Come on!
79
00:17:31,156 --> 00:17:32,799
Wait. There's a knack to it.
80
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,217
- You'll take your fingers off.
- Trust me.
81
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,269
Smart.
82
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,583
Bing Manson.
83
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,479
Short for Bingham.
84
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:49,528
Abi Carner.
85
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,159
Short for Abi Carner.
86
00:17:53,018 --> 00:17:55,331
You're a new person.
I've not seen you.
87
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,483
I just went 21 last week.
88
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,900
I wanted to go to Airdale
My sister's there, but...
89
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,401
It's full, apparently.
90
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,314
Proper fruit.
It was worth the risk.
91
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:13,450
The most natural thing in there's
probably grown in a Petri dish.
92
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,346
Yeah.
93
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,275
Quite good, though.
94
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,039
Yeah. That's the right way round.
95
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,919
When you get the cheap one,
you end up having to pedal it off.
96
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,199
Then you want more sugar. Then
you're playing catch-up and I've...
97
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,088
I've been there.
It's a vicious circle.
98
00:18:31,547 --> 00:18:33,475
Can't you just use that CPT app?
99
00:18:33,485 --> 00:18:34,803
What's that?
100
00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:37,399
This cognitive behavioural thing.
101
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,090
It realigns your thinking
to pick healthy food.
102
00:18:40,770 --> 00:18:42,934
Whispers you into it
while you sleep.
103
00:18:45,079 --> 00:18:47,131
Yeah, I should try that, yeah.
104
00:18:53,929 --> 00:18:55,819
I liked your singing the other day.
105
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,106
I was trying to sing
so no-one could hear me pee.
106
00:19:02,436 --> 00:19:03,959
I'm not Selma or anything.
107
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,959
You've got a phenomenal voice.
It was the most beautiful song...
108
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,032
Y... You think I'm being cheesy?
109
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,177
All right, I am being cheesy.
110
00:19:18,202 --> 00:19:20,477
But it was beautiful, so, you know...
111
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,601
Reality's cheesy sometimes.
Not often, admittedly, but...
112
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,830
Now.
113
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,414
Yeah...
114
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,749
Well, thank you.
115
00:19:43,034 --> 00:19:44,663
It's just noises, though.
116
00:19:45,409 --> 00:19:46,951
Noises in the right order.
117
00:19:46,976 --> 00:19:48,399
Don't downplay... you're good.
118
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,853
The song's good. It's old.
119
00:19:53,246 --> 00:19:56,828
My mum used to sing it
and she learnt it from her mum.
120
00:19:57,719 --> 00:19:59,024
A hand-me-down.
121
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,263
You thought of trying out
for Hot Shot?
122
00:20:04,511 --> 00:20:07,260
Me?
123
00:20:07,726 --> 00:20:09,039
Why not?
124
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,738
Singing in front of Judge Hope?
125
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,359
I'd die! Seriously, I'd be halfway
to the afterlife come the chorus.
126
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:15,554
No, you'd walk it.
127
00:20:15,566 --> 00:20:16,783
A) I wouldn't.
128
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,986
And B)... I don't have
that clockage.
129
00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:24,239
It's, what, 12 mil just to enter?
130
00:20:24,283 --> 00:20:26,519
What kind of bike time is that?
Six months?
131
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,839
- Yeah, but...
- I'm hand to mouth.
132
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,859
I know people save and stuff
to get onto that stage
133
00:20:32,873 --> 00:20:35,477
and then there's what Selma did.
But, you know what?
134
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,866
- I'd rather not give myself...
- Yeah, but I'll gift it to you.
135
00:20:41,503 --> 00:20:43,181
The full 12, I'll gift it.
136
00:20:49,528 --> 00:20:50,919
Don't be ridiculous!
137
00:20:51,435 --> 00:20:53,263
Seriously, I've got it spare.
138
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,739
You've got 12 mil spare?
139
00:20:56,406 --> 00:20:57,886
My brother left it me.
140
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,435
Own a channel, does he?
141
00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:02,023
No, he...
142
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:03,789
He died.
143
00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:09,028
He... He died last year,
144
00:21:09,524 --> 00:21:11,104
so it got transferred to me.
145
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,252
Just over six months' worth,
but I've kept it.
146
00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,649
Why don't you spend it on you, then?
147
00:21:18,661 --> 00:21:21,472
And buy what? Some new shoes
for my doppel to wear?
148
00:21:22,784 --> 00:21:25,439
I don't know, upgrade your MOS...
149
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,433
Or get a Fat Attack season pass?
150
00:21:28,493 --> 00:21:30,319
Buy one of those wall buddies.
151
00:21:30,329 --> 00:21:33,737
The new ones that talk to you after
shutting and solve your problems.
152
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:37,744
They guide your dreams, like gurus.
It's amazing, really, what they can do.
153
00:21:37,769 --> 00:21:41,319
A mirror plug-in? That shows me how I
look as a werewolf? What's the point?
154
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,563
- I know it can be quite funny.
- It's all just stuff. It's...
155
00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:48,668
It's stuff, it's confetti, it's...
156
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,226
You've got something real.
157
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,963
What better to spend it on?
158
00:21:57,088 --> 00:21:59,152
You heard me singing in a toilet.
159
00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:01,839
Is that real?
160
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,318
More than anything that's
happened all year.
161
00:22:08,417 --> 00:22:11,029
I can't take that kind of clockage
off someone.
162
00:22:12,235 --> 00:22:13,988
It's 12 mils, no way.
163
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,971
Let me do this.
164
00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:21,924
I... I look around here, I just...
165
00:22:23,504 --> 00:22:25,692
I just want something real to happen.
166
00:22:28,344 --> 00:22:29,649
Just once.
167
00:22:32,696 --> 00:22:33,999
I'd mess up.
168
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,844
You wouldn't. I don't care anyway.
169
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,679
I'll go with you.
I'll be able to force you.
170
00:22:39,946 --> 00:22:41,575
I'll force you to go.
171
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:44,943
It's tomorrow.
172
00:22:46,791 --> 00:22:48,271
Come on!
173
00:22:54,912 --> 00:22:56,218
Say yes.
174
00:22:59,883 --> 00:23:02,157
I'll go as far as to say, "OK."
175
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,171
Which proves acceptable.
176
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,156
Thank God for that.
177
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,550
Walking away now.
178
00:23:16,906 --> 00:23:18,211
You loon!
179
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,691
I can live with it!
180
00:23:51,969 --> 00:23:54,145
I'd love to fucking ruin that
and all.
181
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,626
What?
182
00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,435
15?
183
00:24:29,006 --> 00:24:30,317
A flippin' joke...
184
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,381
'New from Wraith Babes.
185
00:25:23,394 --> 00:25:26,652
'The hottest girls
in the nastiest situations.'
186
00:25:27,753 --> 00:25:29,271
Yeah!
187
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,871
Can't believe I'm doing this.
188
00:25:53,087 --> 00:25:54,395
I am doing this.
189
00:25:57,973 --> 00:25:59,304
I can't be doing this.
190
00:25:59,329 --> 00:26:00,846
Can you trade it back?
191
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,595
The ticket?
192
00:26:02,888 --> 00:26:03,970
Don't be mad.
193
00:26:04,746 --> 00:26:07,345
It's a lot of pressure
to put someone under, you know.
194
00:26:07,369 --> 00:26:10,464
Don't think I'm not grateful.
But it's, it's just...
195
00:26:10,489 --> 00:26:11,795
You're babbling.
196
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,390
I'm babbling.
197
00:26:21,738 --> 00:26:23,230
I made you this.
198
00:26:26,787 --> 00:26:30,331
You never get to keep them more
than a day, but there it is, anyway.
199
00:26:35,063 --> 00:26:36,294
It folds flat.
200
00:26:36,712 --> 00:26:39,386
So you can keep them
in your waistband.
201
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:44,949
Thank you.
202
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,799
It's, you know...
203
00:26:52,102 --> 00:26:53,407
something.
204
00:27:23,756 --> 00:27:25,197
Face the screen, please.
205
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,599
Is he your Friends And Family
allocation?
206
00:27:34,150 --> 00:27:35,470
Hand, please.
207
00:27:38,136 --> 00:27:39,727
That's not permanent, is it?
208
00:27:39,852 --> 00:27:41,239
No. Two months max.
209
00:27:41,330 --> 00:27:43,498
Round to the right,
and through the scanner.
210
00:28:07,976 --> 00:28:09,284
Where do we go now?
211
00:28:09,916 --> 00:28:11,228
You wait here.
212
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,581
How long?
213
00:28:18,242 --> 00:28:19,544
So, what do we do?
214
00:28:19,556 --> 00:28:20,839
I don't know.
215
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,775
Hey, hey, hey.
Fuck off.
216
00:28:28,643 --> 00:28:30,275
Her with the dark hair?
217
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,150
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pretty one.
218
00:28:33,020 --> 00:28:35,079
Yup. OK. Move.
219
00:28:36,443 --> 00:28:38,088
They want to preview you.
220
00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:40,519
- What?
- Preview. Come on.
221
00:28:40,968 --> 00:28:42,523
- He's with me.
- Hand?
222
00:28:44,445 --> 00:28:45,768
Show me your hand.
223
00:28:46,297 --> 00:28:47,599
OK. You, too.
224
00:28:47,724 --> 00:28:50,025
That's not fair.
She's new. That's not fair.
225
00:28:50,029 --> 00:28:51,539
I don't pick the order.
226
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,268
I've waited here all week,
and she's just walked in.
227
00:28:54,347 --> 00:28:58,162
Everyone will get seen eventually.
I don't pick the order.
228
00:28:58,170 --> 00:28:59,646
But I'm a good singer.
229
00:28:59,654 --> 00:29:02,270
I can sing. I'm a good singer, I am.
230
00:29:02,271 --> 00:29:04,620
- Stand aside.
- It's not fair!
231
00:29:05,690 --> 00:29:06,995
It's not fair!
232
00:29:12,808 --> 00:29:15,084
- Next lot.
- Stand there.
233
00:29:19,706 --> 00:29:22,224
Would you like to be as big as Salma
one day?
234
00:29:22,589 --> 00:29:25,453
Yeah, I mean...
235
00:29:25,478 --> 00:29:26,719
Could you say that
236
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,317
as a self-contained sentence
into that screen?
237
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,359
I guess I'd like to be
as big as Salma one day.
238
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,319
OK. Proceed to stage area.
239
00:29:37,144 --> 00:29:38,450
Are we done?
240
00:29:41,486 --> 00:29:43,525
- Both performing?
- Just her.
241
00:29:43,538 --> 00:29:46,159
- Okay... and what are you?
- Singer.
242
00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:48,311
- Compliance?
- No, thanks.
243
00:29:48,436 --> 00:29:51,536
A-ha. Yes, thanks!
It's compulsory for all contestants.
244
00:29:51,549 --> 00:29:54,078
More to the point,
it'll stop you puking with nerves.
245
00:29:54,132 --> 00:29:56,328
- She's got to perform.
- Well...
246
00:29:56,751 --> 00:29:58,749
Look, just sip it, you'll be fine.
247
00:30:03,363 --> 00:30:05,357
Just a touch of light foam.
It'll pass.
248
00:30:05,482 --> 00:30:06,906
Make the most of it.
249
00:30:07,031 --> 00:30:08,877
You can't get this stuff
anywhere else.
250
00:30:09,324 --> 00:30:10,879
You OK?
Yeah.
251
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,189
You OK?
252
00:30:14,962 --> 00:30:16,277
Yeah. Just...
253
00:30:17,392 --> 00:30:21,399
I don't know. Things are just
wider apart. I'm fine.
254
00:30:22,204 --> 00:30:24,765
- Really?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
255
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,086
Right. You're on.
256
00:30:44,846 --> 00:30:46,413
A little closer, please.
257
00:30:51,146 --> 00:30:52,477
Little closer.
258
00:30:55,688 --> 00:30:57,280
Into the light, love.
259
00:31:05,644 --> 00:31:08,852
- And who're we looking at here?
- Abi Khan.
260
00:31:09,486 --> 00:31:11,861
What are you going
to do for us today, Abi?
261
00:31:12,446 --> 00:31:13,839
I'm going to sing.
262
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,299
You speak up, love.
263
00:31:15,424 --> 00:31:16,770
We don't bite.
264
00:31:18,386 --> 00:31:19,692
I'm going to sing.
265
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,719
Hey, would you mind
lifting up your top for me?
266
00:31:25,272 --> 00:31:26,976
Can you take off your top?
267
00:31:26,991 --> 00:31:28,981
I want to check out those titties.
268
00:31:32,528 --> 00:31:34,231
Come on. Mucho feranto.
269
00:31:35,629 --> 00:31:37,258
No titties?
270
00:31:38,064 --> 00:31:40,203
She says she's here to sing.
271
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,159
I got to see
those titties, though.
272
00:31:43,284 --> 00:31:44,679
Come on, girl.
273
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,026
I mean, damn!
274
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,079
You hot.
275
00:31:49,556 --> 00:31:52,018
Please, just sing for us.
276
00:34:15,361 --> 00:34:17,251
OK. I'm going to stop you there.
277
00:34:18,842 --> 00:34:20,058
That was...
278
00:34:21,143 --> 00:34:22,368
without a doubt...
279
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,839
probably the best piece of singing
we've had this season.
280
00:34:29,066 --> 00:34:31,018
Yes! Well done!
281
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:37,549
Fair play.
282
00:34:40,844 --> 00:34:42,399
But I have to say...
283
00:34:44,536 --> 00:34:46,389
No. No, no, no.
I have to say,
284
00:34:47,247 --> 00:34:48,555
actually,
285
00:34:48,569 --> 00:34:50,210
I'm with Rafe on this one.
286
00:34:51,777 --> 00:34:54,319
Good though your voice is...
and it is good.
287
00:34:54,831 --> 00:34:57,519
It's not the most magical sound
in the world.
288
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,085
It's just... good.
289
00:35:00,336 --> 00:35:03,134
I don't think anyone's
really hearing it.
290
00:35:03,259 --> 00:35:05,758
Certainly not the guys
in the audience.
291
00:35:06,043 --> 00:35:09,239
These looks you got going on
kind of get in the way.
292
00:35:09,736 --> 00:35:12,012
Men will want you.
Women will hate you.
293
00:35:12,321 --> 00:35:14,117
All the time you're on stage.
294
00:35:15,442 --> 00:35:17,195
Couldn't help picturing you.
295
00:35:18,125 --> 00:35:19,639
In an erotic scenario.
296
00:35:20,967 --> 00:35:23,367
Getting pretty turned on,
if I'm honest.
297
00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:28,555
Right.
298
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,364
You've got this pure beauty
299
00:35:31,023 --> 00:35:33,150
What seems to be
a knockout figure.
300
00:35:33,846 --> 00:35:36,799
And this sort of interesting
innocence going on.
301
00:35:36,809 --> 00:35:39,259
That's something I think
Rafe's erotica channels
302
00:35:39,268 --> 00:35:40,919
could really play with.
303
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,439
Absolutely. That's what I thought
304
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:44,839
the moment I saw you.
305
00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:46,319
The moment.
306
00:35:46,860 --> 00:35:50,199
I'd watch. I don't know a man here
who wouldn't.
307
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,675
To be honest,
some of us girls might join you.
308
00:35:56,615 --> 00:35:57,946
Get off me!
309
00:35:58,071 --> 00:35:59,388
Don't! Abi!
310
00:36:00,523 --> 00:36:02,750
No! Abi! Abi!
311
00:36:02,875 --> 00:36:04,879
I don't think that's quite...
312
00:36:07,205 --> 00:36:11,757
You will never have to pedal again.
Not one minute.
313
00:36:12,731 --> 00:36:14,945
We could really work with you.
314
00:36:15,070 --> 00:36:18,215
Last year we had
singers, singers, singers.
315
00:36:18,576 --> 00:36:19,778
So many singers.
316
00:36:19,803 --> 00:36:22,637
So, to be a singer you have to be
truly exceptional
317
00:36:23,123 --> 00:36:26,839
There's just no slots left
for an above average singer.
318
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,559
Not for the next few years,
at least. Charity?
319
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,442
No. Saturation point, singer-wise.
320
00:36:33,414 --> 00:36:35,615
Listen. We said,
right from the start.
321
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,315
We'll go with something
different this season.
322
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,355
That's why he's on the panel!
323
00:36:41,039 --> 00:36:44,384
She would be a star on our stream.
324
00:36:44,929 --> 00:36:46,239
A star.
325
00:36:46,891 --> 00:36:48,196
On his...
326
00:36:49,634 --> 00:36:51,279
You're furniture, at best.
327
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,142
Forget about all the shame,
and all that ppht-ppht-tew.
328
00:36:54,938 --> 00:36:56,599
We medicate against that.
329
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,920
You will have pleasure forever.
330
00:36:59,218 --> 00:37:01,507
Realistically, sweetheart,
it is that,
331
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,146
or the bike.
332
00:37:06,596 --> 00:37:07,934
I, I don't think...
333
00:37:07,942 --> 00:37:09,962
This is starting to annoy me.
334
00:37:10,403 --> 00:37:13,511
Who do you think is powering
that spotlight?
335
00:37:19,449 --> 00:37:21,401
Millions of people. That's who.
336
00:37:21,886 --> 00:37:24,063
All of them, out there, right now.
337
00:37:25,030 --> 00:37:27,243
Putting in an honest day
on the bike,
338
00:37:27,260 --> 00:37:29,730
while you stand in the light
they're generating
339
00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:30,913
and dither.
340
00:37:31,271 --> 00:37:32,576
You know what?
341
00:37:32,701 --> 00:37:36,707
They would give anything.
Do anything to be where you are now.
342
00:37:37,379 --> 00:37:38,684
Am I right?!
343
00:37:41,912 --> 00:37:45,170
You want to cock a snook at all
that, as though it's nothing.
344
00:37:46,962 --> 00:37:48,653
As though they're nothing.
345
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,060
And that makes me sick.
346
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:53,683
But, you know what?
347
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:56,911
Maybe you do belong on the bike.
348
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,107
Because you don't seem to be
very willing to step off it.
349
00:38:03,166 --> 00:38:04,235
I do want to.
350
00:38:04,247 --> 00:38:05,578
We have a decision?
351
00:38:05,703 --> 00:38:10,679
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
352
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:25,079
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
353
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:29,079
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
354
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:41,759
I suppose.
355
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,559
Go on!
356
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:53,865
Well done!
357
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,164
Best thing about my new lifestyle...
358
00:40:06,532 --> 00:40:08,235
I get to meet lots of hot guys.
359
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,576
Wraith treats me well.
360
00:40:14,368 --> 00:40:17,119
For Christ's sake!
361
00:40:17,871 --> 00:40:19,438
I pay for this!
362
00:40:19,823 --> 00:40:22,956
I... pay... for... this!
363
00:40:23,292 --> 00:40:26,786
I pump my arse off, and you...
Fuck you!
364
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,639
Yeah, keep waddling, pig tits.
365
00:40:30,991 --> 00:40:33,841
Find your horizon
and fuck off over it!
366
00:40:37,303 --> 00:40:38,658
'It's a dream.
367
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,010
'I get to live...
368
00:40:41,404 --> 00:40:42,707
'in a...
369
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:44,524
'beautiful place.
370
00:40:45,367 --> 00:40:46,673
'And...
371
00:40:47,692 --> 00:40:49,011
'wear lots of...
372
00:40:50,276 --> 00:40:51,582
'beautiful things.
373
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:57,949
'It's a dream.'
374
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,319
Insufficient funds.
375
00:41:23,565 --> 00:41:25,235
'From Wraith Babes... '
376
00:41:25,256 --> 00:41:26,561
'C'mon, girl... '
377
00:41:27,258 --> 00:41:29,707
'..a Wraith Babes reality special.'
378
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,050
I guess I'd like to be as big as
Thelma one day.
379
00:41:33,997 --> 00:41:37,690
'Millions watched her glide through
the Hot Shot curtain of dreams
380
00:41:37,715 --> 00:41:39,435
'to sing her heart out.'
381
00:41:43,269 --> 00:41:46,319
'What happened next
shocked them all.'
382
00:41:46,444 --> 00:41:48,119
We could really work with you.
383
00:41:48,490 --> 00:41:49,846
Do we have a decision?
384
00:41:50,405 --> 00:41:53,835
'Now, watch her
stunning erotic debut... '
385
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,218
No, no, no, no, no...
386
00:42:00,263 --> 00:42:02,039
'So, who do we have here?'
387
00:42:02,857 --> 00:42:04,159
I'm Abby.
388
00:42:04,775 --> 00:42:06,279
'You were at Hot Shot.
389
00:42:07,235 --> 00:42:09,449
'You were real impressive.'
390
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,239
Resume viewing!
391
00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:17,399
- No! No!
- Resume viewing!
392
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:18,839
Resume viewing!
393
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:20,159
Resume viewing!
Resume viewing!
394
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,879
Resume viewing! Resume viewing!
Resume viewing!
395
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:25,239
Resume viewing!
396
00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:26,537
'Look at you.
397
00:42:27,018 --> 00:42:28,957
'All clean and shiny.'
398
00:42:31,374 --> 00:42:33,666
Portal disabled
during commercial.
399
00:42:33,697 --> 00:42:35,919
'You'll see everything.
400
00:42:36,044 --> 00:42:37,901
'You'll see it all!
401
00:42:38,425 --> 00:42:40,017
'Open your mouth.
402
00:42:40,427 --> 00:42:42,603
'Open... take it in...
403
00:42:43,192 --> 00:42:46,326
'take it in... yeah...
404
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,479
No! No! No! No!
405
00:45:03,192 --> 00:45:06,238
'The hottest girls... '
406
00:48:43,858 --> 00:48:46,134
Could you stand aside, please?
407
00:48:49,024 --> 00:48:52,037
Come up into the back,
in front of me, please.
408
00:48:52,162 --> 00:48:53,698
Are you messin'?
409
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:01,929
A what-nic one?
410
00:49:02,716 --> 00:49:05,427
An eth-nic one!
411
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,270
On it.
412
00:49:08,848 --> 00:49:12,243
We're going to preview, all right?
Want to follow me in the back?
413
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,575
You're a prick!
414
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:19,894
Next, lot.
415
00:49:20,897 --> 00:49:22,203
Stand there!
416
00:49:25,966 --> 00:49:27,866
So what are you, a magician?
417
00:49:28,820 --> 00:49:30,076
An entertainer.
418
00:49:30,100 --> 00:49:34,359
Could you say that down the screen
as a self-contained sentence?
419
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:39,599
I'm an entertainer.
420
00:49:44,563 --> 00:49:47,336
Before you go on,
you need to drink a compliance.
421
00:49:47,361 --> 00:49:49,684
They give me one back there.
Really? OK.
422
00:49:49,809 --> 00:49:52,719
Well, in that case,
you are good to...
423
00:49:53,855 --> 00:49:55,173
go.
424
00:50:08,694 --> 00:50:09,995
Who are you?
425
00:50:10,243 --> 00:50:11,639
Bing Madsen.
426
00:50:12,304 --> 00:50:14,132
What are you planning to do for us?
427
00:50:14,142 --> 00:50:15,444
What the fuck?!
428
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:16,990
'A sort of performance.'
429
00:50:17,833 --> 00:50:19,319
A sort of performance?
430
00:50:19,389 --> 00:50:20,690
Yes.
431
00:50:20,815 --> 00:50:23,140
Man of mystery!
432
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,012
I suppose we'd better see it.
433
00:50:30,609 --> 00:50:31,915
OK.
434
00:51:13,323 --> 00:51:14,605
Knob'ead!
435
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:16,288
Fucking cock!
436
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:33,827
Stop or I'll do it. This is a main
artery. Keep walking, you kill me.
437
00:51:37,699 --> 00:51:41,330
No-one stops me till I've said my piece.
Then you can do what you like.
438
00:51:41,339 --> 00:51:43,109
Man, just fucking kill yourself.
439
00:51:43,114 --> 00:51:46,799
Get heavy on me, I swear to God,
I kick your ass back to life,
440
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,879
just so I could cut
your goddamn head off.
441
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:52,189
Go on!
442
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,679
I think we should let him speak.
443
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:03,039
- Speak!
- Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak!
444
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,919
Let's hear what he has to say.
445
00:52:10,868 --> 00:52:12,178
Well?
446
00:52:12,199 --> 00:52:13,557
Come on.
447
00:52:14,039 --> 00:52:16,538
Got our attention, as requested.
448
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:19,386
What do you want to say?
449
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:25,759
Have you prepared a speech,
is that it?
450
00:52:27,732 --> 00:52:29,038
Speak!
451
00:52:29,043 --> 00:52:32,594
I haven't got a speech. I didn't
plan words. I didn't even try to...
452
00:52:32,595 --> 00:52:36,149
I just knew I had to get here, to stand
here, and I wanted you to listen.
453
00:52:36,150 --> 00:52:39,136
To really listen, not just pull
a face like you're listening,
454
00:52:39,140 --> 00:52:40,811
like you do the rest of the time.
455
00:52:40,817 --> 00:52:43,440
A face that you're feeling
instead of processing.
456
00:52:43,565 --> 00:52:46,239
You pull a face, and poke it towards
the stage,
457
00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:50,635
and we lah-di-dah,
we sing and dance and tumble around.
458
00:52:50,644 --> 00:52:53,198
And all you see up here,
it's not people,
459
00:52:53,210 --> 00:52:55,719
you don't see people up here,
it's all fodder.
460
00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:58,184
And the faker the fodder,
the more you love it,
461
00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:00,879
because fake fodder's the only
thing that works any more.
462
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:03,439
It's all that we can stomach.
Actually, not quite all.
463
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,759
Real pain, real viciousness,
that, we can take.
464
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:07,396
Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole.
465
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,319
We laugh ourselves feral,
because we've earned the right,
466
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,838
we've done cell time
and he's slacking, the scum,
467
00:53:12,844 --> 00:53:14,067
so ha-ha-ha at him!
468
00:53:14,082 --> 00:53:16,687
Because we're so out of our minds
with desperation,
469
00:53:16,688 --> 00:53:18,430
we don't know any better.
470
00:53:18,455 --> 00:53:20,919
All we know is fake fodder
and buying shit.
471
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:22,719
That's how we speak to each other,
472
00:53:22,720 --> 00:53:24,968
how we express ourselves,
is buying shit.
473
00:53:24,992 --> 00:53:26,359
What, I have a dream?
474
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:30,665
The peak of our dreams is a new app
for our Dopple, it doesn't exist!
475
00:53:30,689 --> 00:53:32,079
It's not even there!
476
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:33,839
We buy shit that's not even there.
477
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:37,039
Show us something real and free
and beautiful. You couldn't.
478
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:38,519
Yeah? It'd break us.
479
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,119
We're too numb for it.
480
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:41,599
I might as well choke.
481
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,639
It's only so much wonder
we can bear.
482
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:47,324
When you find any wonder whatsoever,
you dole it out in meagre portions.
483
00:53:47,332 --> 00:53:49,667
Only then until it's
augmented, packaged, and
484
00:53:49,679 --> 00:53:52,195
pumped through 10,000
preassigned filters
485
00:53:52,202 --> 00:53:55,239
till it's nothing more than
a meaningless series of lights,
486
00:53:55,240 --> 00:53:58,639
while we ride day in day out,
going where?
487
00:53:59,523 --> 00:54:00,841
Powering what?
488
00:54:01,381 --> 00:54:04,626
All tiny cells and tiny screens
and bigger cells
489
00:54:04,634 --> 00:54:06,404
and bigger screens and fuck you!
490
00:54:06,607 --> 00:54:09,713
Fuck you,
that's what it boils down to.
491
00:54:10,422 --> 00:54:13,959
Fuck you for sitting there
and slowly making things worse.
492
00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:17,519
Fuck you and your spotlight
and your sanctimonious faces.
493
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:19,799
Fuck you all for thinking
the one thing
494
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:22,039
I came close to never meant
anything.
495
00:54:22,752 --> 00:54:26,972
For oozing around it and crushing it
into a bone, into a joke.
496
00:54:26,980 --> 00:54:30,439
One more ugly joke
in a kingdom of millions.
497
00:54:30,954 --> 00:54:32,887
Fuck you for happening.
498
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:37,355
Fuck you for me, for us,
for everyone.
499
00:54:37,373 --> 00:54:38,679
Fuck you!
500
00:55:00,675 --> 00:55:03,224
That was, without a doubt,
501
00:55:05,057 --> 00:55:08,912
the most heartfelt thing
I've seen on this stage
502
00:55:09,445 --> 00:55:11,186
since Hotshot began!
503
00:55:16,671 --> 00:55:17,978
Brilliant!
504
00:55:18,403 --> 00:55:19,624
You...
505
00:55:20,323 --> 00:55:23,359
you're so articulating
something we all,
506
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,035
and I mean everyone in this hall,
507
00:55:26,417 --> 00:55:28,479
something we all agree on.
508
00:55:28,954 --> 00:55:31,679
Even though we may not comprehend
all of it.
509
00:55:32,165 --> 00:55:35,162
I think I'm right in saying
we do feel it.
510
00:55:36,530 --> 00:55:37,835
Even me.
511
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,475
I know you've got me down
as this creature.
512
00:55:40,997 --> 00:55:42,850
You know, hey...
513
00:55:44,377 --> 00:55:46,554
I get where you're coming from.
514
00:55:46,857 --> 00:55:49,108
- I like your stuff.
- It's not stuff.
515
00:55:49,133 --> 00:55:51,117
It's truth. Am I right?
516
00:55:53,179 --> 00:55:56,719
Your truth, admittedly,
but truth nonetheless.
517
00:55:57,440 --> 00:55:58,750
And you're right.
518
00:55:59,046 --> 00:56:02,577
Authenticity is in woefully
short supply.
519
00:56:04,821 --> 00:56:06,877
I'd like to hear you talk again.
520
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:11,590
How so?
521
00:56:12,169 --> 00:56:14,656
The slot on one of my streams
522
00:56:15,638 --> 00:56:18,051
where you can talk just like that.
523
00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:24,409
I'd watch it.
It was such great passion.
524
00:56:26,859 --> 00:56:30,180
He's a'right.
You're a little hot there, bud.
525
00:56:30,941 --> 00:56:33,242
That throat cutting thing?
Neat gimmick.
526
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:34,958
What do you say?
527
00:56:35,720 --> 00:56:37,759
30 minutes twice a week?
528
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:44,660
- Do it, do it, do it!
- Do it, do it, do it!
529
00:56:45,568 --> 00:56:50,107
Do it, do it, do it!
Do it, do it, do it!
530
00:56:50,990 --> 00:56:55,239
Do it, do it, do it!
531
00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:56,919
Do it, do it, do it!
532
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:58,639
Go on, you bastard.
533
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:02,639
- Do it, do it, do it!
- Do it, do it, do it!
534
00:57:04,013 --> 00:57:05,468
Beats the bike.
535
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:07,333
Certainly does.
536
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:27,399
'We have with us Oliver.
Oliver ate and ate
537
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:31,399
'till he hit 17 stone and he's here
today to try and beat us
538
00:57:31,716 --> 00:57:34,359
'on Botherguts!
539
00:57:35,607 --> 00:57:36,975
'Keep going.'
540
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:52,155
OK, I'm going to stop you there.
That was achingly terrible.
541
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:56,279
You have the magnetism of a towel. I
don't ever want to look at you again.
542
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,879
I have to agree.
I'm so sorry, love.
543
00:58:00,144 --> 00:58:03,427
You came across as fundamentally
unlikeable
544
00:58:03,452 --> 00:58:05,919
and really quite worthless.
545
00:58:06,942 --> 00:58:10,475
You could fill that pussy with honey
and I still wouldn't fuck it.
546
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,746
I'm a good singer. I can sing, yeah.
547
00:58:13,871 --> 00:58:15,639
Cos this is my destiny
548
00:58:15,867 --> 00:58:17,794
and I can sing, fu...!
549
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:23,081
'Like that, don't you, Harry?
550
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:26,599
'Say it.
551
00:58:27,213 --> 00:58:28,518
'Yeah.
552
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:33,999
'15,000 new wardrobe options
553
00:58:34,086 --> 00:58:35,723
'launched last week alone.
554
00:58:36,612 --> 00:58:40,599
'It effectively translates as
15,000 new ways to kill time
555
00:58:40,724 --> 00:58:43,279
'in your cell before you explore
an afterlife
556
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:45,024
'which doesn't exist anyway.
557
00:58:45,385 --> 00:58:48,864
'With any luck, it'll take your mind
off those saddle sores?
558
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:54,079
'You know the only thing stopping me
from slashing myself open right now?
559
00:58:56,189 --> 00:58:58,104
'I might not die right away.
560
00:58:58,116 --> 00:59:00,294
'And before I went,
they'd find a way
561
00:59:00,302 --> 00:59:02,479
'to charge my twitching
half-dead cadaver,
562
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:05,437
'20,000 merits for swabbing
the walls clean.'
563
00:59:05,438 --> 00:59:06,748
- Yeah.
- Anyway,
564
00:59:07,956 --> 00:59:09,398
'hang on in there
565
00:59:09,710 --> 00:59:11,011
if you must.
566
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:19,399
'We're all in this together
they say.
567
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:20,711
'Yeah, right.
568
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:24,488
'Farewell for ever.
569
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:28,906
'Till the same time next week.'
570
00:59:33,244 --> 00:59:34,553
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