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1
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,679
I know you're in there, Bertie.
I can hear you whistling.
2
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,159
Er...who is that?
3
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,799
- Who's that?
- It's Jeeves.
4
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:44,279
Oh. It's Cyril Fotheringay Phipps.
5
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,999
- Barmy?
- Steady on, Jeeves.
6
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:50,879
Come on in. Quick. Come on. Come on.
7
00:02:55,960 --> 00:03:00,159
The most extraordinary thing - I was
talking to Jeeves a second ago.
8
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,319
- No, it was me.
- But he said he was Jeeves.
9
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,359
No, it was me, pretending to be
Jeeves.
10
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,919
Oh, I see. Jolly good. Why?
11
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:13,039
Well, I don't want my Aunt Dahlia to know
I'm here. Had a set-to down at her place.
12
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,839
- No, don't answer it.
- I wasn't going to.
13
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,799
No, you see, she'll
be regretting it and
14
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,919
begging me to come back
and sort things out.
15
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,599
No, answer it. Pretend to be Jeeves.
16
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:33,359
- How?
- Well, just say you're Jeeves.
17
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,399
Right.
18
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,559
Mr Wooster's residence.
19
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,559
Where is Mr Wooster?
20
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,479
He's not at home, sir.
21
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,719
I'm Jeeves.
22
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,599
What do you mean, you think not?
23
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,319
Oh.
24
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,279
- Who was it?
- Jeeves.
25
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,119
Oh. Where was he?
26
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,959
Just round the corner.
27
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:11,719
Ah, sent as an emissary, no doubt. Well,
no, I'm sorry. One can only do so much.
28
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,399
What's an emissary?
29
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,359
It's something that's sent. So, what
are you doing here, Barmy?
30
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,999
Oh, nothing, really. Just came for a
smoke. Hope you don't mind.
31
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,759
No. Smoke away, Barmy. Smoke away.
32
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,839
Ow!
33
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,639
When you said you'd come in for a
smoke...
34
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,119
I can't smoke at the Drones at the
moment.
35
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,879
It's Oofy Prosser, you see.
We've got a bet
36
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,319
on how long we can
go without smoking.
37
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,839
My doctor said it's better for me,
anyway.
38
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,719
- Good morning, Mr Fotheringay Phipps.
- Morning, Jeeves.
39
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,959
- Mr Wooster.
- Morning, Jeeves.
40
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,879
I'm just making some tea.
41
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,839
Really, sir? Perhaps I could...
42
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,999
No, I may as well do it,
now that I've started.
43
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,799
I've got used to
looking after myself.
44
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:19,239
It's surprising, is it not, how much
one can assimilate in a day?
45
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,839
Mmm. Now, Jeeves, it says here it's
best to use soft water,
46
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,719
but that after boiling it may again
become hard.
47
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,519
Well, that's ice, isn't it?
48
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:32,879
And it says here, "One teaspoonful
per person and one for the pot."
49
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,199
I mean, why does the pot get one?
50
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,239
If you'll allow me, sir.
51
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,079
- Cup of tea, Barmy?
- Love one.
52
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,239
- All right, Jeeves. Get on with it.
- Sir?
53
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,839
It is obvious to the meanest
intelligence, Jeeves,
54
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,719
that you have been dispatched here by
my esteemed aunt
55
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,479
to plead with me to come back to
Brinkley.
56
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,839
Same old emotional quagmire down
there, I suppose? Yes.
57
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,119
Tuppy grinding his teeth. Angela
aloof.
58
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,959
Uncle Tom off his feed. Madeline off
her head.
59
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,519
And Fink-Nottle trembling about this
prize-giving.
60
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,279
Well, I'm sorry, but Mrs Travers will
have to sort this out herself this time.
61
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:19,319
Very good, sir. I was
in fact sent to try to
62
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,199
persuade Monsieur
Anatole to return, sir.
63
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,439
- Anatole the cook, Jeeves?
- Yes, sir.
64
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,159
What, not to persuade
me back to Brinkley to
65
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,879
restore peace and harmony
to the inhabitants?
66
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,959
Mrs Travers made no mention of it,
sir.
67
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,999
Huh. Well, of all the nerve, Jeeves!
68
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,959
And this is what they call gratitude,
is it?
69
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,039
I really couldn't say, sir.
70
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,559
Well, I don't think I'm
going too far, Jeeves, when
71
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,079
I say that this just about
takes the giddy biscuit.
72
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,519
Very good, sir.
73
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:53,719
Well, I shall return to Brinkley instanter
and give all of them a good talking-to -
74
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,759
starting with that idiot Tuppy.
75
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,119
If you want the Turkish, they're in
the silver box.
76
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,199
Oh, right-o, Bertie.
77
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,239
- Toodle-pip.
- Cheerio.
78
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,639
- Ah.
- Ah. You're not going out, are you?
79
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,599
I am, Oofy. How can I help you?
80
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,519
Well, I wanted to have a smoke.
81
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,599
Ah, say no more, Oofy. My house is
your house.
82
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,519
I've got this bet on with Barmy.
83
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,719
No, no need to explain, Oofy.
84
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,879
If you want to try the Turkish,
they're in the silver box.
85
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,799
Ah...
86
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,719
- Am I not somebody, Mr Jeeves?
- Undoubtedly, Monsieur Anatole.
87
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:58,239
Then why they are making against me
like bad peoples?
88
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,519
Delicious veloute aux fleurs de
courgette.
89
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,679
Monsieur Anatole himself taught me
to make it,
90
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,439
when he first stayed at our little
hotel.
91
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,359
Ah, but Madame has got the good of
me many times over!
92
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,039
A little more, perhaps, for Mr
Jeeves?
93
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,639
We have a duty to look after our
ladies and gentlemen, Monsieur Anatole.
94
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,879
Look after? Am I the nursie?
95
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,119
Am I the nancy for the kiddies?
96
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,399
Non. This is not kiddies. Non, non,
non.
97
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,479
Kiddies is nice. Kiddies is not
stopping with the eats.
98
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,679
Kiddies is not saying to a chap,
99
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,999
"Puf! We not like you no more.
100
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,679
We not eat your combustibles."
101
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,759
Since time immemorial, Monsieur
Anatole,
102
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,839
it has fallen to the Gallic
races to bring civilisation
103
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,519
to the rude northerly
provinces of their empire.
104
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,439
Mmm, is true.
105
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,759
Anatole is civilian.
106
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,599
Anatole is nice.
107
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:59,479
It hasn't always been easy. Sometimes
it has seemed impossible. But...
108
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:06,159
Up to the time she went to Cannes,
Angela loved me. You'll admit that?
109
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,639
Oh, indisputably.
110
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:11,679
But when she came back, she was just
looking for an excuse to get rid of me.
111
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,439
No, no, no! What would she want to
get rid of you for?
112
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,639
Well, obviously, during those two
months
113
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,559
she's transferred her affections to
some foul blister she's met out there.
114
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,839
No, no, no, no.
115
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,559
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
116
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,919
And you can take this as official.
117
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,399
If ever I find this slimy snake in
the grass,
118
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,319
I propose to take him by his beastly
neck, shake him till he froths,
119
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,439
and then pull him inside out and
make him swallow himself.
120
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,239
All right?
121
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,119
My dear Tuppy...
122
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,039
during those two months on the
Riviera, it so happens
123
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,239
that Angela and I were practically
inseparable.
124
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,959
If there had been somebody nosing around,
I should have spotted it in a second.
125
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,159
I see.
126
00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,999
So, no mixed bathing and moonlight
strolls?
127
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:05,079
No, no, no. Well, only with me.
It was quite a joke at the hotel.
128
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,959
But then, I've always been devoted to
Angela.
129
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,999
- Really?
- Oh, yes, yes.
130
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:13,199
When we were kids, she used to call
me her "little sweetheart".
131
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,279
Ah! You're back.
132
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,479
You're back.
133
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,679
Welcome, Monsieur Anatole!
134
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,919
We have no more stopping with the
eating, I think!
135
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,399
I get my bagages.
136
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:42,919
Jeeves, I can never thank you
sufficiently. Never.
137
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,359
You've saved my husband's digestion.
138
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,399
What-ho, Aunt Dahlia!
139
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:51,399
I didn't know that your master was
back, Jeeves.
140
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,439
Has he no mercy?
141
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,239
Jeeves...
142
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:03,919
Suppose that you were strolling
through the illimitable jungle,
143
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,719
and you happened to meet a tiger cub.
144
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,479
The contingency is a remote one, sir.
145
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,919
- Well, never mind. Let us suppose it.
- Very good, sir.
146
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,439
Let us now suppose that you biffed
that tiger cub.
147
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:19,519
And let us further suppose that word
reached its mother that you'd done so.
148
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,799
Now, what would you expect the
attitude of that mother to be?
149
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,839
In the circumstances, I should anticipate
a certain show of disapprobation, sir.
150
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,799
Well, yes. Very good, Jeeves. Very
well put.
151
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:33,359
Now, let us suppose that
recently there had been
152
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,279
some coolness between the
tiger cub and the tigress.
153
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:41,039
I don't know. For a day or two, perhaps,
they'd not been on speaking terms.
154
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,639
Now, do you think this would
make any difference to the
155
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,159
vim with which the latter
leaped to the former's aid?
156
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,039
- No, sir.
- No. Well...
157
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,839
Here, then, in brief, is my plan.
158
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,359
I will draw my cousin Angela to one
side, to a secluded spot,
159
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,559
and I shall roast Tuppy properly.
160
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,439
Roast, sir?
161
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:02,159
Er...disparage, knock, decry,
denounce.
162
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,119
I shall be very terse about Tuppy,
163
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,439
giving it as my opinion that in all
the essentials
164
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,079
he is more akin to...
165
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:14,159
a warthog, than an ex-member of the
fine old school.
166
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,559
- And what will ensue?
- What indeed, sir?
167
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:21,359
Er...no, Jeeves. No, that was one of
those...whatsit questions.
168
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,119
- Rhetorical, sir?
- Right, yes.
169
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:28,399
Now, hearing him attacked, my cousin
Angela's heart will become as sick as mud.
170
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,759
The maternal tigress in her will
awaken.
171
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,719
And no matter what their differences, she
will remember that he is the man she loves,
172
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,679
and she will leap to his defence.
173
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:40,119
And from there to falling into his
arms is but a step.
174
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,119
So, how do you react to that, Jeeves?
175
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,359
The idea is an ingenious one, sir.
176
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,399
Well, we Woosters are ingenious.
Noted for it.
177
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,479
And if one thing gives
us the pip, it's the
178
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,479
sight of two loving
hearts being estranged.
179
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,239
I can readily appreciate it, sir.
180
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,559
Now, I'm not speaking
without knowledge of the
181
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,759
form book on this. I've
tested this theory.
182
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,839
- Indeed, sir?
- Oh, yes.
183
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,199
And it works.
184
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,759
I was standing on Eden Rock in
Antibes last month,
185
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:09,879
and a girl I know slightly pointed to
this fellow diving into the water,
186
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,999
and asked me if I didn't think that
his legs
187
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:16,999
were about the silliest pair of props
ever issued to a human being.
188
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,159
Well, I agreed that, indeed, they
were,
189
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,359
and for perhaps a couple of minutes,
190
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:28,359
I was extraordinarily witty and
satirical about this bird's underpinnings.
191
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,679
And guess what happened next.
192
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,839
I am agog to learn, sir.
193
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,639
A cyclone is what happened next,
Jeeves.
194
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,479
Emanating from this girl.
195
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,399
She started on my own legs, saying
that they weren't much to write home about.
196
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:45,319
And then she moved on to dissect my
manners, morals,
197
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,519
intellect, general physique,
198
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,399
and method of eating asparagus.
199
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,759
By the time she'd finished, the best
that could be said about Bertram
200
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:58,199
was that, so far as was known, he
hadn't actually burnt down an orphanage.
201
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,239
A most illuminating story, sir.
202
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:05,359
No, no, no, Jeeves, you haven't had
the pay-off yet.
203
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,279
Oh, I'm so sorry, sir.
204
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,719
The structure of your
tale deceived me into
205
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,919
thinking for a moment
that it was over.
206
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:17,279
No, the point is that she was actually
engaged to this fellow with the legs.
207
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,319
They'd had some minor
disagreement the night
208
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,359
before, but there they
were the next night,
209
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,639
dining together, their
differences made up,
210
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,919
and the love light once
more in their eyes.
211
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,959
And I expect much the same results
with my cousin Angela.
212
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,559
I look forward to it with lively
anticipation, sir.
213
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,239
Care for a saunter, Angela, old girl?
214
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,279
- Love to, Bertie, darling.
- Good-o.
215
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,719
Shhh.
216
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,559
Tom's listening to the news.
217
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,319
I have much to say that's not for the
public ear.
218
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:03,439
Bertie, darling, this grass is
awfully wet. It'll ruin my shoes.
219
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,879
- Well, put your feet on my lap.
- All right.
220
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,799
You can tickle my ankles.
221
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,879
Right.
222
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,919
Now, Angela, what about you and
Tuppy?
223
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,839
Is it true that the wedding bells are
not going to ring out?
224
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,999
- Yes.
- Definitely over, eh?
225
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,239
Definitely.
226
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,599
Well, if you want my opinion, it's a
bit of goose for you, old girl.
227
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,359
It's a mystery to me how you stood
this Glossop for so long.
228
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:31,279
Is that an animal in the bush over
there, Bertie? It sort of rustled.
229
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,239
It's probably a weasel or something.
230
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,879
No, taken all in all, this
Glossop ranks very low
231
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,439
down among the wines and spirits.
Frightful oik.
232
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,959
I always thought you were such
friends.
233
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,319
What, friends? No, no, no.
Absolutely not. No.
234
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,039
No, one was civil, of course,
235
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:50,279
but in addition to looking like something
that comes out of hollow trees,
236
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:54,519
he's universally acknowledged to be a
dumb brick of the first water.
237
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,319
No soul, no conversation, nothing.
238
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,839
- Yes. Yes, you're quite right.
- Eh?
239
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:05,639
It's so nice to talk to someone who
takes a sensible view about this Glossop.
240
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,559
Well...
He's conceited and opinionated.
241
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,839
He drinks too much, eats too much,
242
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,279
and I don't much like the colour of
his hair.
243
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,119
I'm going in.
244
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,119
- Erm...
- Goodbye, Bertie.
245
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,439
- So!
- Ah, Tuppy, old chap.
246
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,639
- So!
- Er...been here long?
247
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,599
Long enough. And in two
seconds I'm going to
248
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,639
kick your spine through
the top of your head.
249
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,919
Ah...yes.
250
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,799
I think I know what's on your mind,
Tuppy.
251
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:42,719
Erm...if you were in those bushes
during the conversation with Angela...
252
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,159
- I was.
- You were. Right. Good.
253
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,439
Well, we won't go into the ethics of
the thing.
254
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,239
Eavesdropping, some people might call
it. A bit un-English.
255
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,879
- I'm Scots.
- Really? I didn't know that.
256
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:57,039
- I'm going to get you...
- Now, look, Tuppy. It was a plan.
257
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,399
- What are you talking about?
- Well, if...
258
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,919
If it wasn't a plan, why would I
knock you to Angela?
259
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,119
Because you're in love with her
yourself.
260
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,559
I rest my case.
261
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,599
- What? No!
- Someone stole her from me in Cannes.
262
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,239
You told me she was with you all the
time and hardly spoke to anybody else.
263
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,239
Now, now, Tuppy. Look, you've got
this all wrong.
264
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,879
And I can...prove it.
265
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,359
During that sojourn in Cannes, my
affections were engaged elsewhere.
266
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,400
What?
267
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,239
My affections. Engaged elsewhere.
During that sojourn.
268
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,559
Who was she?
269
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,159
My dear Tuppy, does one bandy a
woman's name?
270
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,719
One does if one doesn't want one's
ruddy head pulled off.
271
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,359
Well, yes, right. Well, obviously,
this is a special case.
272
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,519
Madeline Bassett.
273
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:42,279
You're in love with that weird
gawd-help-us Bassett?
274
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:46,079
Well, I don't think you should call
her a "weird gawd-help-us", Tuppy.
275
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,119
Odd in some of her views, perhaps.
276
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,799
One does not see eye-to-eye with her
in the matter of stars and bunny rabbits.
277
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,359
But not a weird gawd-help-us.
278
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,999
And you stick to it that you're in
love with her?
279
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,279
It is not 24 hours since she turned
me down.
280
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,839
- Turned you down?
- Like a bedspread. In this garden.
281
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,199
So, you'll readily see
that I can't be the chap
282
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:09,599
- if any - who stole
Angela from you in Cannes.
283
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,999
Because your affections were engaged
elsewhere?
284
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,039
During that sojourn.
285
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,999
Oh, I see.
286
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,799
All right, then.
287
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,839
Sorry to have troubled you.
288
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,279
It wasn't just you.
289
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,359
What about the things Angela said?
290
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,639
Well, she obviously
spotted you in those
291
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,159
bushes and was just
talking to score off you.
292
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,919
She adores you, Tuppy. She worships
the ground you tread on. She...
293
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:52,039
Bertie...if you should see Mr
Glossop,
294
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,319
perhaps you would give him these.
295
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:58,079
It's nearly six o'clock, and he
hasn't eaten a morsel since tea.
296
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:02,679
Oh, I know. I'll put them down here.
They'll be easier for him to reach.
297
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,439
It's like leaving food out for a
little animal, isn't it?
298
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,439
Er...Angela...
299
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,799
How still and peaceful everything is.
300
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,079
Jeeves, I have decided
that Tuppy and Miss Angela
301
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,719
will have to disentangle
their own affairs.
302
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,799
Today is the day for finally clearing
up
303
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,079
the whole Gussie-Miss Bassett
imbroglio.
304
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,799
Indeed, sir?
305
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,599
Where we've been falling down is in not
keeping it to the forefront of our minds
306
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,559
that in Gussie Fink-Nottle what we
are dealing with is a poop.
307
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,639
A sensitive plant might perhaps be a
kinder description, sir.
308
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,439
A poop, Jeeves.
309
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,559
And a poop who drinks nothing
stronger than orange juice.
310
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,759
I was not aware of that, sir.
311
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,039
Oh, yes, Jeeves. I had it from his
own lips.
312
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:14,599
Whether from some hereditary taint or
because he promised his mother he wouldn't,
313
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,719
Gussie has never pushed so much as the
simplest gin and tonic over the
larynx.
314
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:23,319
And he expects - this poop expects,
Jeeves, under these conditions -
315
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:25,359
to propose marriage to the girl he
loves.
316
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,959
Well, one hardly knows whether to
smile or weep, what?
317
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,959
You consider total abstinence
to be a handicap in a
318
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,119
gentleman wishing to make a
proposal of marriage, sir?
319
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,599
Oh, dash it, Jeeves. Use your
intelligence.
320
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,039
Were it not for the juice of the
grape and the grain,
321
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,919
weddings would be a thing of the
past, proposals but a dim memory.
322
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,959
Without it, Jeeves, we babble.
323
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,919
Thank you, Jeeves.
324
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,319
Only active measures, promptly
applied,
325
00:20:57,360 --> 00:21:01,919
can prevent this poor poop Fink-Nottle
from babbling about newts again.
326
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,159
Which is why I intend to secure a
bottle of gin...
327
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,199
..and lace his luncheon orange juice
with it.
328
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,319
Sir?
329
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,519
Well, I can't imagine why you "sir",
Jeeves.
330
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,879
The plan I've put forward seems to me
to be icily logical.
331
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,159
I fail to see why it should attract
any sir-ing.
332
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,279
No, sir.
333
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,479
Let us hear your objections, then,
Jeeves.
334
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,879
A certain amount of risk is inherent
in your stratagem, sir.
335
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,079
It is not always a simple matter to
gauge the effect of alcohol
336
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:37,839
on a subject previously unexposed to
such stimulants.
337
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,839
It can have distressing results in
the case of parrots.
338
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,159
Parrots?
339
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,719
I am thinking of an incident when I
was in the service of Lord Brancaster,
340
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,919
a gentleman who owned a parrot.
341
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,839
One day it happened that the bird
was lethargic, sir,
342
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:56,079
and His Lordship offered it a portion
of seedcake, steeped in the '84 port.
343
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:59,799
Good egg. The bird
bit His Lordship on his thumb
344
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,159
and sang part of a sea shanty.
345
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,599
It then fell to the
bottom of its cage and
346
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,039
remained there for some
considerable time,
347
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,159
with its legs in the air, unable to
move.
348
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,079
I merely mention this, sir.
349
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,759
There's a flaw here, Jeeves. Do you
know what it is?
350
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,719
No, sir.
351
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:20,359
- Gussie isn't a parrot.
- True, sir, but...
352
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,279
No more discussion, Jeeves. He's a
poop.
353
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,319
Very good, sir.
354
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:35,639
You notice I said I was going to put
this project through today, Jeeves?
355
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,559
Why do you think I said today?
356
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,279
Because you feel that, if
it were done when 'tis
357
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,039
done, then 'twere well it
were done quickly, sir?
358
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,279
Partly, Jeeves. Yes, partly.
359
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,799
But the chief reason is that
today is the day of the
360
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,159
prize-giving at Market
Snodsbury grammar school.
361
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,079
We shall, by lacing
the juice, not only
362
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,079
embolden him to propose
to Miss Bassett,
363
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,279
but also put him so into
shape, that he will
364
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,639
hold that Market Snodsbury
audience spellbound.
365
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,679
I see, sir.
366
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,879
Ah, Jeeves. Thank you.
367
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,399
Well, he seems to be happy enough,
doesn't he?
368
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:33,639
Indeed, sir. The engagement appears to
have lifted his spirits quite considerably.
369
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,159
Engagement?
370
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,639
You are not aware that Mr
Fink-Nottle proposed to
371
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,159
Miss Bassett this afternoon
and was accepted, sir?
372
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,799
- Well, well, well, Jeeves!
- Yes, sir.
373
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,799
- You see how right I was?
- Indeed, sir.
374
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,079
Yes, this must be rather
an eye-opener for
375
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,439
you, Jeeves, watching
me handling this case.
376
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,079
Luckily, sir, I found an
opportunity to add half
377
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,759
a bottle of spirit to his
luncheon orange juice.
378
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,759
- Lords, ladies and gentlemen...
- Oh, Jeeves!
379
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,199
So did I, Jeeves.
380
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:05,479
Now, this year, we are all delighted
to welcome, as our guest for the afternoon,
381
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,479
Mr Fitz-Wattle.
382
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,519
Fink-Nottle!
383
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,159
I should say Fink-Nottle.
384
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,519
Well, of course you should, you
silly ass!
385
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,079
Well, all right. Get on with it.
386
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:24,439
We are all happy, as I say, to
welcome Mr Fink-Nottle,
387
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,279
who has kindly consented to present
the prizes.
388
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:31,359
Now, I'm sure Mr Fink-Nottle's name
is familiar to us all...
389
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:36,239
Well, not to you! You didn't seem to
know it so dashed well, what!
390
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:45,239
Right-o. Push off. Speech.
391
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,319
Speech?
392
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:56,919
Boys. Er...I mean ladies and
gentlemen and boys.
393
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,199
It's a beautiful world, boys and
girls,
394
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,199
ladies and gentlemen,
395
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,359
lords and...things.
396
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:12,799
I mean, the sky is blue. The birds
are singing.
397
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,359
There's optimism everywhere.
398
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,959
And why not, girls and ladies?
399
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,479
I should like you all to be
upstanding
400
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,799
and give three cheers for this
beautiful world.
401
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,679
Up you get.
402
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,279
- Hip-hip!
- Hooray!
403
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,159
- Hip-hip!
- Hooray!
404
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,799
- Hip-hip!
- Hooray!
405
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,159
All right. Sit down. Sit down.
406
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,959
Now, anybody who says this isn't a
beautiful world
407
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,799
doesn't know what they're talking
about.
408
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,799
You see, if there's one thing in the
world I can't stand,
409
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,799
it's a pessimist.
410
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,439
You see, a pessimist is a man...
411
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:55,199
Why, hello, Bertie!
412
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,999
I didn't know you were here.
413
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,119
Now, there's an instance of what I
mean.
414
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,639
Ladies and...whatsits...
415
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,679
take a good look at that object
sitting there at the back.
416
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:09,799
Morning coat. Mouldy rose in
buttonhole. You can't miss him.
417
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:14,559
I despise that man, women and
children.
418
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,519
And shall I tell you why? Eh?
Because he's a...
419
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,719
I think, Mr Fink-Nottle, as time is
getting on,
420
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,679
I think perhaps we ought to commence
with the prizes.
421
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,879
Oh! It's you!
422
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,199
Oh, the prizes? Yes. Right-o.
423
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,999
Might as well be shoving along with
it. What's this one?
424
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:37,079
Spelling and dictation. PK Purvis.
425
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:40,999
Spelling and dictation. PK
Purvis!
426
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,039
Forward, PK Purvis.
427
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,199
- Are you PK Purvis?
- Yes, sir.
428
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,719
- It's a beautiful world, PK Purvis.
- Yes, sir.
429
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,519
Ah! You've noticed it, have you?
Good.
430
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,599
- Are you married, by any chance?
- No, sir.
431
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,679
Get married, PK Purvis. It's the
only life.
432
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,719
- Yes, sir.
- Good boy.
433
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,479
Right, Headmaster. What's the next
one?
434
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,159
GG Simmons. Scripture knowledge.
435
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:24,079
GG Simmons. Scripture
knowledge.
436
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:34,079
So, you've won the scripture-knowledge
prize, have you, GG Simmons?
437
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,319
- Sir, yes, sir.
- Yes.
438
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:39,279
You look just the sort of little
tick who would.
439
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:44,839
And yet how are we to know that you came
by it in an open and above-board manner?
440
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:46,879
I can assure you, Mr Fink-Nottle,
441
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,119
every care was taken to ensure
correct marking.
442
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,959
Well, if you say so. All right, GG
Simmons. Take your prize.
443
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,999
- Sir, thank you, sir.
- But let me tell you -
444
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,319
there's nothing to
stick on side about in
445
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,679
winning a prize for
scripture knowledge.
446
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:05,039
Bertie Wooster won a
scripture-knowledge prize.
447
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,439
But of course, Bertie frankly
cheated.
448
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,519
He succeeded in scrounging
that scripture-knowledge
449
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,759
prize over the heads
of better men -
450
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:18,679
by means of some of the rawest and
most brazen swindling methods!
451
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,759
Even at a school where such things
were the norm.
452
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,239
Madeline?
453
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,279
Madeline?
454
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,519
Madeline? Madeline!
455
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,079
You will not be surprised
to learn, Jeeves,
456
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,319
that Madeline and Gussie
are no longer engaged,
457
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,119
after the fiasco of the prize-giving.
458
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:50,959
Was there much more after I left?
459
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,679
No, sir. Mr Fink-Nottle's
inflamed cerebral
460
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,279
condition brought about
an early closure.
461
00:29:56,320 --> 00:30:02,639
He returned to the theme of Master GG
Simmons and his scripture-knowledge prize,
462
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:06,399
hinting at systematic cheating on an
impressive scale.
463
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:10,399
He even went so far as to suggest that
Master Simmons is well-known to the police.
464
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,239
- Oh, golly!
- Yes, sir.
465
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,159
- Not our finest hour, Jeeves.
- No, sir.
466
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:18,759
Door, Jeeves.
467
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,879
Yes, sir.
468
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,919
That may be Mr Fink-Nottle now.
469
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,199
Oh, it's not you. Hello, Tuppy.
470
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,239
Mr Glossop.
471
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,359
If you'll excuse me, sir.
472
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,799
You remember what I swore I'd do to
the chap who stole Angela from me?
473
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,559
Well, as nearly as I can recall, you
were going to pull him inside out...
474
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,319
And make him swallow himself.
Correct.
475
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,879
Well, the programme holds good for
the newt bloke.
476
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:49,839
The newt bloke? Gussie?
477
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,319
The serpent Fink-Nottle.
478
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,239
But Gussie loves Madeline Bassett.
479
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:58,039
You can't all love this blasted
Bassett!
480
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,159
It astonishes me how anybody could
love her.
481
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,119
No. Fink-Nottle loves Angela, and
she loves him.
482
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,599
Oh, that is absurd.
483
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,519
Absurd, is it?
484
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:12,039
Well, then, perhaps you'll explain to me
how she happens to be engaged to him.
485
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,439
Engaged?
486
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:18,719
Tuppy, you could knock me down with
an F. There must be some mistake.
487
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:22,719
There is. The snake Fink-Nottle's
just made it.
488
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,439
Ah, there you are!
489
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,839
Where are all the staff tonight?
490
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,359
They've gone to the staff dance at
Kingham Manor.
491
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,399
Oh.
492
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:53,439
So, it appears that you've gone and
got engaged to the Gussie.
493
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,719
Quite right. We're in love.
494
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,279
Oh, come, now, Angela.
495
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,919
Gussie's...Gussie's a splendid chap
in many ways.
496
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:03,959
If you've got a sick newt on your
hands,
497
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,279
Gussie's just the fella to tell you
what to do until the doctor comes.
498
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,959
But honestly, you could fling bricks
by the half-hour
499
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:14,119
in England's most densely populated
districts, without hitting one girl
500
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:17,199
willing to become Mrs Fink-Nottle
without a general anaesthetic.
501
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:19,959
Well, I thought it would be fun.
502
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,279
Well, I'm surprised at you, young
Angela.
503
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,359
No wonder they say, "Oh, woman,
woman!"
504
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,519
- Who do?
- Well, chaps, mostly.
505
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,559
You know you're potty about Tuppy.
506
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,639
For goodness' sake, Bertie! Go away
and boil your head.
507
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,079
Well, Angela, if you'll permit me to
observe...
508
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,119
No.
509
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,919
Very well, then. I shall say no
more.
510
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,599
Just...
511
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:50,639
Tinkerty-tonk.
512
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,759
I say, Jeeves, do you know what's
happened?
513
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,879
Mr Fink-Nottle has got himself
engaged to my cousin Angela.
514
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:02,879
Gentlemen who are discarded
by one young lady
515
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,879
are apt to attach
themselves to another, sir.
516
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,999
It is what is known as a gesture.
My Uncle George...
517
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:10,999
Oh, never mind your
Uncle George, Jeeves.
518
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,079
Save him for the long
winter evenings, eh?
519
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,119
Just as you say, sir.
We must rescue Gussie.
520
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,319
Go forth and scour the
neighbourhood.
521
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:22,359
I don't think that will be necessary, sir.
Mr Fink-Nottle is here.
522
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,919
Mr Fink-Nottle, sir?
523
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:28,959
Gussie?
524
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,559
- Is that door locked?
- Yes, sir.
525
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,759
Let me in, blast you!
526
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,319
Open this door!
527
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,639
It's him!
528
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,519
- What's going on?
- Jeeves! Help!
529
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,759
Are you in there? What do you
think you're doing?
530
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,679
Listen. If you don't open up, I'm
going to jolly well break this door down!
531
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,919
Wooster! Wooster!
532
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,479
Right.
533
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,239
Why was that door locked?
534
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,399
Is one to have no privacy, Glossop?
535
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,599
I instructed Jeeves to shut the door,
because...
536
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,479
I was about to disrobe.
537
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,159
There, you see.
538
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,039
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you, Jeeves.
539
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,159
But I heard his snaky little voice.
540
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,759
Well, I intend to search this room
from end to end.
541
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:30,199
And if he is here, you'd better say goodbye
to him quickly and order your lilies.
542
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,839
What's in this cupboard?
Just clothes.
543
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,079
The usual wardrobe of an English
gentleman.
544
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,119
You're lying.
545
00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:46,559
Ha. Ha.
546
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,839
Jeeves...this is all getting a bit
thick.
547
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,879
Yes, sir.
548
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,759
Ah, hello, Aunt Dahlia.
549
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,359
Bertie, give me a drink.
550
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,919
Anything, so long as it's strong.
551
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:36,039
Approach Bertram along those lines,
Aunt Dahlia, and you catch him at his best.
552
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:39,759
Attila. That's the name. Attila the
Hun.
553
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,239
I've been trying to think
all through dinner
554
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,119
what it was you reminded me of.
555
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:46,319
Oh, now, look. After everything I've
done...
556
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:51,759
Angela tells me she's going to get
engaged to this Spink-Bottle.
557
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,639
Well, temporarily, yes.
558
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,759
So, there it is.
559
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:01,959
My only daughter, for whom I had
dreamed of a wonderful, golden future,
560
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,559
is going to marry an inebriated
newt-fancier.
561
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,239
Well, aunt of my heart,
yes, I can't but agree that
562
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,839
things aren't too
oojah-cum-spiff at the moment.
563
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,879
- Yes, Jeeves?
- A note for you, sir.
564
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,919
- From whom, Jeeves?
- From Miss Bassett, sir.
565
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,719
What does Madeline Bassett want to
write to me for?
566
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,759
Open the damn thing and see.
567
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,399
Will you stop that?
568
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:39,119
You don't understand. Madeline
Bassett says she's going to marry me.
569
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,879
Well, I hope it keeps fine for both
of you.
570
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,879
I hope you won't take it
amiss, sir, but I've been
571
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:50,359
giving some attention to the
amatory entanglements here.
572
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,719
It seems to me that drastic measures
may be called for.
573
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,999
Oh, drastic away, Jeeves.
574
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,239
The prospect of being
united for life with a
575
00:36:58,240 --> 00:37:00,399
woman who talks about
"little baby bunnies"
576
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,799
fills me with an unnamed dread.
577
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,199
Supposing, sir, that in the middle
of the night
578
00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:07,879
the fire-alarm bell were to ring.
579
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,759
Oh, not the fire-alarm thing again,
Jeeves.
580
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,119
Yes, sir. As I see it, sir,
the occupants of the house
581
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,279
would suppose that a
conflagration had broken out.
582
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,559
Possibly, Jeeves. Possibly.
583
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,119
Whereupon, if I'm not mistaken,
584
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,239
Mr Glossop would hasten to save Miss
Angela,
585
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:31,039
while Mr Fink-Nottle would perform
the same office for Miss Bassett.
586
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,239
Oh? This is based on psychology, is
it, Jeeves?
587
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:39,559
Yes, sir. It is thought to be the instinct
of everyone upon the alarm of fire
588
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,559
to save the object dearest to them.
589
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,119
There's a grave danger of Tuppy
coming out carrying a steak-and-kidney pie.
590
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:47,719
But resume, Jeeves.
591
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,759
Well, sir, the relations
between the two couples could
592
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,679
scarcely continue distant
after such an occurrence.
593
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,039
Well, you may be right.
594
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:00,479
I just feel there's a great
possibility for a slip-up here.
595
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:04,839
However, I'm not in a position to
cavil at even a 100-1 shot.
596
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,239
At what hour would you suggest
bonging the bell?
597
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,319
Not before midnight, sir.
598
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,279
Shall I bong, or will you?
599
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,919
I think it would be better coming
from you, sir.
600
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,079
- No need to panic.
- I'm not.
601
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,479
I knew I could smell something.
602
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,519
- Well, Jeeves?
- Sir?
603
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:15,719
Well, it's no good saying "sir". Look
around you. See for yourself.
604
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,239
Your scheme has proved a bust.
605
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,719
Certainly, it would appear
that matters have not
606
00:39:20,720 --> 00:39:23,239
arranged themselves quite
as we anticipated, sir.
607
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,519
We, Jeeves?
608
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,639
As I had anticipated, sir.
609
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,959
I'm not blaming you,
Jeeves, but after this,
610
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:32,239
well, forgive me if I
hurt your feelings...
611
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:33,959
Certainly, sir.
612
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,799
Pardon me for interrupting you.
I fancy Mrs Travers
613
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,199
is endeavouring to
attract your attention.
614
00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:42,519
Just step this way a moment, Attila,
dear...
615
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:44,559
if you don't mind.
616
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,439
What-ho, Auntie.
617
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,679
Well, Bertie, dear.
618
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:55,719
Here we all are.
619
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,479
- Well, quite.
- It was you, dear child,
620
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,879
who rang the fire-bell, was it not?
621
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,599
Er...I did sort of ring it, yes.
622
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:09,479
Any particular reason? I mean, did
you want something? Or was it just a whim?
623
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:12,039
Er...I thought there was a fire.
624
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,719
What gave you that impression,
darling?
625
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,759
Tell Auntie Dahlia.
626
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,519
Well, I thought I saw flames, erm...
627
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:25,159
The front door's shut. Somebody must have
shut it behind them, and it'slocked.
628
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,639
- Then try another door.
- They're all locked.
629
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,319
We could ring the door bell.
630
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,839
And who would you expect to answer
it, dear?
631
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,919
The servants have all gone to the
dance at Kingham,
632
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:39,839
and Mr Seppings no doubt took the
key of the back door with him.
633
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,399
We can't stop out here all blasted
night, blast it!
634
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:47,319
If Seppings has taken the back-door
key,
635
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,719
why doesn't one of us
take one of the cars,
636
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,079
drive over to Kingham
and get it from him?
637
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:56,559
That's the first sensible suggestion
I've heard all day.
638
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,399
It's locked!
639
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:04,759
That's locked, too.
640
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,799
Well, that's absolutely wonderful!
641
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:10,399
They're all locked.
642
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,679
- Did you cough, Jeeves?
- Yes, madam.
643
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:18,759
Is it influenza, or have you got an
idea?
644
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:21,399
Well, forgive me, madam, but it did
occur to me
645
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:26,199
that perhaps one of the gentlemen might
be disposed to bicycle to Kingham Manor
646
00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:29,999
and procure the back-door key from
Mr Seppings.
647
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,199
Jeeves, you are wonderful!
648
00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:34,079
Thank you, madam.
649
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,119
Attila!
650
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,279
- Well, I haven't ridden for years.
- Well, you'll soon get the knack...
651
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,519
once you've taken a toss or two.
652
00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:48,679
- But it's miles to Kingham.
- Nine miles.
653
00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:52,639
- And nine miles back?
- And nine miles back.
654
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:57,039
But it's dark. What if I barge into
something? I'll come a frightful cropper.
655
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,079
Good.
656
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,079
Very well, Aunt. So be it.
657
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,519
Yes?
658
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:23,119
Erm...yes. I need to see Mr Seppings.
659
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,119
They're all up at the dance.
660
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:29,079
Er...yes...it is quite urgent,
actually.
661
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:33,359
I can try and telephone him...
662
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,919
with the telephone.
663
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,599
Er...er...yes, if you would.
664
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,759
Why, Mr Wooster, sir!
665
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,719
Ah, Seppings, I need the key of the
back door.
666
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:55,519
Well, bless you, sir, I left it with
Mr Jeeves.
667
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:56,839
Jeeves?
668
00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:00,679
He said he wanted a walk in the
garden before retiring for the night.
669
00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:03,839
He was going to leave it on the
kitchen windowsill for me.
670
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:07,479
Mr Wooster?
671
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:14,879
Happy Times Are Here Again
672
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,839
Oh, look. He's back.
673
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:25,159
Welcome home, Bertie!
674
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,359
What on earth is going on, Jeeves?
675
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:37,479
The house seems positively awash with
joy and laughter.
676
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,959
It's gratifying, isn't it, sir?
677
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,639
Oh, come, now, Jeeves.
678
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:45,279
I've not been entirely frank with
you regarding the fire-bell, sir.
679
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:49,359
I never anticipated that it would of
itself produce the desired results.
680
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,719
I'd intended it merely as a
preliminary to what I might call
681
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,759
the main business of the evening.
682
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:57,639
You gibber, Jeeves.
683
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,279
Explain yourself.
684
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:05,279
It occurred to me that, were you, sir, to
be established as the person responsible
685
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:08,719
for the ladies and gentlemen being
forced to spend the night in the garden,
686
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:12,919
everybody would take so strong a dislike
to you that, in this common antipathy,
687
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:15,319
they would sooner or later come
together.
688
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,879
And such proved to be the case.
689
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,119
After your departure on the bicycle,
690
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:25,119
the various estranged parties agreed
so heartily in their abuse of you,
691
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:27,319
that the ice was broken.
692
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:31,159
And when I informed the ladies and
gentlemen that I had found the key
693
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:35,759
and it was borne in on them that you
were having that long ride for nothing,
694
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:38,519
there was a noticeable lessening of
tension.
695
00:46:40,720 --> 00:46:42,519
Oh, there was, was there?
696
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:45,919
Of course, rain was a bonus.
697
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,359
Of course.
698
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:49,719
As soon as the storm began,
699
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,439
their animosity vanished completely.
700
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:58,759
Mr Glossop and Miss Angela are once
more betrothed, sir.
701
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,559
Oh?
702
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:03,399
And what about Miss Bassett? Do I
still have to marry her?
703
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:08,479
No, sir. Miss Bassett is once more
safely affianced to Mr Fink-Nottle.
704
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:11,879
Phew! Well, praise be, Jeeves.
705
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:13,719
Indeed, sir.
706
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:17,519
Although, if you'll forgive me for
saying so, your methods are a little rough.
707
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:19,879
Well, sir...
708
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,679
one cannot make an omelette without
breaking eggs.
709
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:28,719
I say... An omelette. Erm...
Do you think you could get me one?
710
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:30,359
Certainly, sir.
711
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,759
Perhaps with a little half-bot of
something.
712
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,959
Undoubtedly, sir.
713
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,999
Right ho, Jeeves.
55007
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