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1
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:04,171
Geez, I can't believe we found
a version of Earth
2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,507
with a "Ball Fondlers"
movie franchise.
3
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:09,639
I can't believe the things
this reality considers PG-13.
4
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,392
- Yeah, l-l'm pretty jealous.
- Don't be, Morty.
5
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:15,315
There's pros and cons
to every alternate timeline.
6
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,562
Fun facts
about this one --
7
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,064
It's got giant,
telepathic spiders,
8
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,395
11 9/11s,
9
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,480
and the best ice cream
in the multiverse!
10
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,156
- Shut up!
- Whoa!
11
00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,701
We're gonna go get
some ice cream, motherfucker!
12
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,653
[engine sputters]
13
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,033
Oh, great.
14
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,785
Oh, boy.
W-What's wrong, Rick?
15
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,457
Is it the quantum carburetor
or something?
16
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,535
"Quantum carburetor"?
Jesus, Morty.
17
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:36,541
You can't just add
a s[burps]-- sci-fi word
18
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,543
to a car word
and hope it means something.
19
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:41,045
Looks like somethings wrong
with the microverse battery.
20
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,671
We're gonna have
to go inside.
21
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,298
Um, go inside what?
22
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,176
The battery, Morty.
Be right back, Summer.
23
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,677
Stay put,
don't touch any buttons,
24
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,680
and ignore all random thoughts
that feel... spidery.
25
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,352
Wait!
You can't leave me here!
26
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,644
You'll be fine.
27
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,222
Ship,
keep Summer safe.
28
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,399
FEMALE VOICE: [warbles]
Keep Summer safe.
29
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,021
MORTY:
Ohh!
30
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:01,858
Ugh.
Wonderful.
31
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,284
Hey, excuse me.
Hello.
32
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,328
Um...
[cellphone clicking]
33
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,327
What, you think
you're better than me?!
34
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,408
Nobody's better
than me!
35
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,663
Hey!
Hey!
36
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,756
Aah!
Aaaaah!
37
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:23,584
- Keep Summer safe.
- Aaaaaaah!
38
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,793
Hey, man,
what the hell?!
39
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:26,594
That was my daughter's
pediatrician! Aah!
40
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,388
No, stop!
Don't kill him!
41
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,715
[ Beep ]
Confirmed.
42
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,266
[grunts]
Aah!
43
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,388
[groans]
44
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,140
Oh, god.
I can't feel my legs.
45
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,391
Help!
Help!!
46
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,722
Summer is safe.
47
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,728
I don't feel safe.
[ sobs ]
48
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,150
Confirmed.
[ light jazz music plays]
49
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,193
[sobbing] No.
[sniffles]
50
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,737
Oh, god, help me.
Help me!
51
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,860
[sobbing] Help me, please!
You can help me!
52
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,818
PI'
53
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,062
Oh, man.
Where are we, Rick?
54
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,189
Morty, remember eight
seconds ago when -- you said,
55
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,737
"go inside what?"
And I said, "the battery"?
56
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,405
Then we showed up here,
and I wasn't like,
57
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,733
"Whoa, this is unexpected.
58
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,408
This is not what I was
expecting, Morty.
59
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,077
What a perplexing mystery
this is."
60
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,654
All right, all right,
we're inside the battery.
61
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,410
I get it. You don't have
to bust my balls.
62
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,457
Huh, this isn't right.
This pipe's supposed to be...
63
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:40,502
sending 20 terawatts of
juice up to the engine, Morty.
64
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,329
[computer beeps]
Instead we've got... zero?
65
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,664
Now what
are these people doing?
66
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,920
- W-W-W-Whoa, people?
- [ groans ]
67
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,626
It's time for some
hands-on engine repair.
68
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,302
All right, Morty,
hold on to something.
69
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:50,425
Whoa!
70
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,216
Holy crap!
71
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,222
I thought we were
inside your car battery, Rick.
72
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,895
T-T-This is like a whole
p-planet or something.
73
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,813
Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty
proud of this bad boy.
74
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,357
Check it out.
[ keypad beeps ]
75
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,400
I put a spatially
tessellated void
76
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,353
inside a modified
temporal field
77
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,609
until a planet developed
intelligent life.
78
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,283
I then introduced that life
to the wonders of electricity,
79
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,611
which they now generate
on a global scale.
80
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,446
And, you know, some of it goes
to power my engine
81
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,122
and charge my phone
and stuff.
82
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,291
You have a whole planet
making your power for you?
83
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,460
That's slavery.
- It's society.
84
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,878
They work for each other,
Morty.
85
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,546
They pay each other.
They buy houses.
86
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,043
They get married and make
children that replace them
87
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,841
when they get
too old to make power.
88
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,044
That just sounds like slavery
with extra steps.
89
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:33,051
Ooh la la, someone's
gonna get laid in college.
90
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,053
ANCHOR: It appears we are
being revisited
91
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,885
by the alien known as Rick,
who once gave our world
92
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,266
the gift
of gooble box technology,
93
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,518
which, when stomped on,
generates electricity,
94
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,691
powering our homes
and businesses,
95
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,518
improving our daily lives,
while safely removing
96
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:51,072
the dangerous waste power
to a special disposal volcano.
97
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,695
But why has Rick returned?
98
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,368
And what will he say
when he hears the big news?
99
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:56,991
Let's find out.
100
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,414
You need to tell these people
they're in a battery, Rick.
101
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,742
It's messed up.
There's caterers down there.
102
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,827
Th-Th-They're setting up
chafing dishes.
103
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,207
Would you relax, Morty?
104
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,005
There's nothing dishonest
about what we're doing.
105
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,378
Now slap on these antennae.
They need to think we're aliens.
106
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,462
- What? Why'?
- Sh-- Obviously [burps] --
107
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,013
You really [burps] know
nothing about car repair.
108
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,888
[fanfare plays ]
109
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,935
Wait for the ramp,
Morty.
110
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,763
They love
the slow ramp.
111
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,440
Really gets their dicks hard
when they see this ramp
112
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,768
just slowly
extending down.
113
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,444
[ Cheering ]
114
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,771
Greetings!
115
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,448
[ Creatures chanting,
"Rick! Rick!" ]
116
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,196
Morty, you gotta
flip them off.
117
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,198
I told them it means
"peace among worlds."
118
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,620
How hilarious is that?
119
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,917
[creatures cheering wildly]
120
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,165
RICK: Coming through.
121
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,121
Two real aliens walking
through here.
122
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,128
Rick,
our alien friend.
123
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,130
Uh, Mr. President,
um, couldn't help but notice
124
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,587
that you were having problems
generating power.
125
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,047
That's correct. [chuckles]
We've evolved.
126
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,350
Our most brilliant scientist,
Zeep Xanflorp,
127
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,348
has developed
a source of energy
128
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:05,101
that makes gooble boxes
obsolete.
129
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,023
[ Straining ]
I would love to see it.
130
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,476
- Fuck You.
- What did you say to me?!
131
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,936
"Fuck You."
132
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,818
Y-You told me
it means "much obliged."
133
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,867
Oh. Right.
Uh, b-blow me.
134
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,694
No, no, no.
Blow me.
135
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:26,956
Zeep, you have an honored guest
from beyond the stars.
136
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,584
I said 12 quantum stabilizers,
not 11.
137
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,415
Fix it
or it's your ass.
138
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,125
Chris, I'm in the middle
of something.
139
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:36,337
Zeep, this is Rick --
The Alien.
140
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,171
Rick The Alien.
141
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,178
Rick
The Alien...
142
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,850
Really?
You're gonna pull that move?
143
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,643
I guided
your entire civilization.
144
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,686
Your people have
a holiday named Ricksgiving.
145
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,639
They teach kids
about me in school.
146
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:50,191
I dropped out of school.
It's not for smart people.
147
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,110
Ohhhh, snap!
148
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,028
Listen to me,
you arrogant little --
149
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,233
[chuckling ] R-Rick was hoping
to see your new energy source.
150
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,239
I think he could learn
a lot from you, Zeep.
151
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,865
Fine.
152
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,913
It's hard
for people to grasp,
153
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,242
but inside that container is
an infinite universe
154
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,247
with a planet capable
of generating
155
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,420
massive amounts of power.
156
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,748
I call it a miniverse.
157
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,833
[coughs]
Dumb [coughs] Name.
158
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,213
- Excuse me?
- [ clears throat] Nothing.
159
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,387
I mean, it's hard
for us to comprehend all this.
160
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,384
Would it be possible
for us to get some kind of tour
161
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,261
of your miniverse
from the inside?
162
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,887
This isn't a fucking
chocolate factory.
163
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,435
I don't have time.
164
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,888
Didn't you say time goes
more slowly in the miniverse
165
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,894
relative to the real world?
166
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,271
Yes, Chris.
Thanks for reminding me of that.
167
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,773
Great President.
All right, let's go.
168
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,355
Whoa-Oh!
169
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,532
Hold on to something.
170
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,735
I put an unbounded vacuum
inside a temporal field
171
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,364
until a world developed.
172
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,321
I then introduced
the people of this world
173
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,624
to the wonders of electricity
in the form of a device
174
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,542
I call
a flooble crank.
175
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:52,497
What they don't know is that 80%
of every crank's energy output
176
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,422
gets channeled
out of the miniverse
177
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,499
to be used by us.
178
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,176
No more gooble boxes.
179
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,003
RICK: I gotta tell you, Zeep,
with no disrespect,
180
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,464
I really think what
you're doing here is unethical.
181
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,924
It's not cool.
- What?!
182
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:06,931
Y-Y-You got the people
on this world slaving away
183
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,637
making your power.
184
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,222
I mean, that's
what I call slavery.
185
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,057
No, no, no,
they work for each other
186
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,268
in exchange for money,
which they then --
187
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:17,571
Well, that just sounds like
slavery with extra steps.
188
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:21,401
Eek barba dirkle, somebody's
gonna get laid in college.
189
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:22,700
Rick, a word?
190
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:23,823
What the hell was that?
191
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,654
I know.
"eek barba dirkle"?
192
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,205
That's a pretty
fucked up "ooh la la."
193
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,907
No, what are you doing
telling this guy
194
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,788
that his miniverse is
unethical?
195
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,915
D-Do you not see
the hypocrisy here?
196
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,089
Holy crap.
You're right, Morty. Hypocrisy!
197
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,962
Somewhere on this planet,
there's gotta be an arrogant...
198
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,510
scientist prick on the verge
of microverse technology,
199
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,713
which would threaten to make
Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete,
200
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,969
forcing Zeep
to say microverses are bad,
201
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,847
at which point he'll realize
what a hypocrite he's being.
202
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,349
His people will go back to
stomping on their gooble boxes,
203
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,977
and you and I will be
on ice cream street, baby!
204
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,979
Eating that motherfucking
ice cream!
205
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,901
Slurping, slurping,
slurping it up.
206
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,196
Wh-Wh-Why are you making
that face?
207
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:00,692
Holy shit!
208
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,866
It's me. I've convinced
the people of this planet
209
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,818
that I'm a traveler
from another world.
210
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,869
You don't think that's over-
[burps]... doing it a little?
211
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,073
I mean, you can achieve the same
effect with a pair of --
212
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,249
Never mind. You know what?
I shouldn't be so critical.
213
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,576
I'm an alien.
214
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,787
Places, please.
We're about to land.
215
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,546
[ Coughs ]
Too fast.
216
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:23,253
[sirens wailing]
- SUMMER: [whimpering]
217
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,636
FEMALE VOICE: Law enforcement
converging on location.
218
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,887
Keep Summer safe.
219
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,640
No! No, no!
Don't hurt anybody!
220
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,268
- Confirm
custom defense protocol --
221
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,065
Keep Summer safe --
No physical force.
222
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,235
- Yes.
- Processing.
223
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:41,028
MAN: Come out of the vehicle
with your hands in the air!
224
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,777
Scanning assailants.
225
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,700
[warbling, beeping]
226
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,153
Psychological option
detected.
227
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,204
[ beeping ]
Gestating.
228
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,497
"Gestating"?
229
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,166
Come out
with your hands up,
230
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:56,336
or we will be forced
to open fire!
231
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,913
- Incoming!
- We got a device!
232
00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,714
Bomb! Bomb!
233
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,293
Daddy?
234
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,299
Oh, my god.
[sighs]
235
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,880
H-Hunter?
- Daddy?
236
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,556
What the hell?
237
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:11,054
Jesus Christ, cease fire!
Stay back!
238
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,181
H-H-Hunter?
239
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,058
- Daddy.
- Hunter!
240
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,060
[sobbing] Oh, my dear,
sweet god, Hunter.
241
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:17,391
Oh, my boy.
My boy.
242
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,852
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It was all my fault.
243
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,062
I'm sorry.
Daddy, leave the car alone.
244
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,192
W-W-W-What?
245
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,319
[distorted ]
Leave the car alone.
246
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,900
Hunter?
Don't --
247
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,155
Oh, my god.
248
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,407
Stay here, Hunter!
No!
249
00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:33,366
[sobbing] God, no!
Hunter!
250
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,542
FEMALE VOICE:
All of you have loved ones.
251
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,210
All can be returned.
252
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,834
All can be taken away.
253
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,881
Please step away
from the vehicle.
254
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,419
Keep Summer safe.
255
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,221
And if you continue
to turn your flooble cranks,
256
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,799
I will bring you
other great alien advancements.
257
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:53,226
- Hey, lemme ask you something.
- Yes?
258
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,895
Any of your, uh, scientists
working on anything new?
259
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,347
All of them.
That's their job.
260
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,899
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I mean, like, energy-wise.
261
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,272
Anyone working on, say,
a little universe in a box?
262
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,400
How do you know about that?
It's top secret.
263
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:08,359
ZEEP: So remember -- A crank
a day is not nearly enough.
264
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,114
[ Iaughs]
Crank it.
265
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,912
I told them this means
"peace among worlds."
266
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,330
How hilarious is that?
267
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,998
Re-Really funny, Zeep.
268
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,076
Hey, Zeep, the fake president
of your fake world
269
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,537
has something fake important
to show you.
270
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,840
MAN:
It's not much now,
271
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,883
but once I learn to accelerate
the temporal field,
272
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,428
I'll be able to interact with
any sentient life that evolves
273
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:31,177
and introduce them
to the wonders of electricity
274
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:34,260
via a pulley-based device
I call a blooble yank.
275
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,470
But what
they won't know is --
276
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,430
You'll be taking
most of their energy.
277
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:39,890
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get it.
278
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,442
[ Burps ]
It's show- [burps]... time.
279
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:49,153
You do realize this will make
the flooble crank obsolete?
280
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:52,987
This is wrong, Kyle.
What you're doing is wrong.
281
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,367
You're basically --
[scoffs] This is slavery.
282
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,869
You're talking about creating
a planet of slaves.
283
00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,417
[ Burps ]
Told you, Zeep.
284
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,290
Oh, they won't be slaves.
285
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,417
They'll work for each other
and pay each other money.
286
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:08,548
That just sounds like slavery
with ex... tra... steps.
287
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,344
- What?
- Wait a minute.
288
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,048
Did you create my universe?
ls my universe a miniverse?
289
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:15,259
- Microverse!
- Uh, teenyverse.
290
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,218
- Ugh!
- You bastard!
291
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,179
Much obliged.
292
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:22,015
- What the hell is happening?
- This is healthy. Trust me.
293
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,896
You're my battery,
motherfucker!
294
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,192
[ Groans ]
That's all you are.
295
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,191
I made you.
Your microverse sucks!
296
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,318
And your miniverse is the size
of a fucking lobster tank!
297
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:30,444
It's wack!
298
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,491
Are they
not really aliens?
299
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,865
Nah, they're just
a couple of crazy,
300
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,912
wacky scientists,
you know?
301
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,456
So he made
a universe,
302
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,204
and that guy is
from that universe.
303
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,502
- You're my battery!
- And that guy made a universe.
304
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:46,081
And that's the universe
where I was born.
305
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:48,337
Where my father died.
306
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,589
Where I couldn't make time
for his funeral
307
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:55,048
because I was working
on my universe.
308
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,883
- I made you!
- [ laughs] Yeah.
309
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,593
Science, huh?
Ain't it a thing.
310
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,929
You know, one time,
Rick sh-- accidentally shot
311
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,605
his laser pistol
right through my hand.
312
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,230
You know, I mean, like,
Old-Lady Science, you know?
313
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,061
She's a real --
314
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,396
You got to hang on tight,
you know?
315
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,232
Because she -- she --
she bucks pretty hard.
316
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:15,319
Ooh, boy, what --
Oh, my god, no!
317
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,331
- Teenyverse.
- Teenyverse.
318
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,453
Come on, come on,
come on.
319
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,664
Pterodactyl!
320
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,090
[laughs]
- Asshole!
321
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,667
When I get
out of this teenyverse,
322
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,502
I'm gonna smash it to pieces
with you in it.
323
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,212
Yeah, well, when I get
out of this teenyverse,
324
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,888
I'm gonna get out of
the surrounding miniverse
325
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,716
and then the microverse
around that, and guess what?
326
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,722
Don't make things worse,
Rick!
327
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,724
Uh, he's not gonna destroy
your universe.
328
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,771
You know, we -- we need it
to start our car.
329
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,814
That's what you used
my universe for --
330
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,688
to run your car?
331
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,360
Yeah, but don't
flatter yourself.
332
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,860
There's always AAA,
you fucking cock sucker!
333
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,532
What's he doing?
What's he crafting?
334
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,234
I can craft stuff,
too, pal!
335
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,160
Just like I crafted
your reality!
336
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,281
You crafty son of a --
337
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,537
Ow! I crafted the guy
that created
338
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,414
the planet
you're standing on!
339
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,836
Yeah, and I made the stars
that became
340
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,208
the carbon
in your mother's ovaries!
341
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,915
I didn't ask to be born!
342
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,545
All right, that's it!
I'm out.
343
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,297
I-I'm gonna go
into the wilderness,
344
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,753
and I'm gonna make
a new life for myself
345
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,304
among the tree people.
346
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:17,926
I-lt can't be worse
than this.
347
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,553
Sure. Okay, Morty,
Just be back before sundown
348
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,929
or the tree people
will eat you.
349
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,135
That's a myth!
350
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,095
W-W-Why are you trying
to start a myth?
351
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,725
It's a prehistoric planet,
Morty.
352
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,432
Someone has to bring
a little culture.
353
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,188
And I-i-it certainly
can't be someone
354
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:32,111
whose entire culture powers
my brake lights!
355
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,609
[sirens wailing]
356
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,158
Go, go, go!
357
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,577
Oh, my god.
Oh, god.
358
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,575
What are we gonna do now?
359
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,998
FEMALE VOICE: I am unable
to destroy this army.
360
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,997
To clarify, I am quite able to
destroy this army,
361
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,625
but you will not permit it.
- Correct.
362
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:53,584
You also refuse to authorize
emotional countermeasures.
363
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,044
If you're talking
about the melting ghost babies,
364
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,879
yes, please,
no more of that.
365
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,339
[ Warble ]
Confirmed.
366
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,015
[signs]
367
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,058
I am currently constructing
a security measure
368
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,977
in compliance
with your parameters.
369
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:08,148
But I do want to say
you are not making this easy.
370
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,895
You know you're
kind of a dick, right?
371
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,898
My function is
to keep Summer safe,
372
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:16,072
not keep Summer being,
like, totally stoked
373
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:19,026
about, like,
the general vibe and stuff.
374
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,736
That's you.
That's how you talk.
375
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,993
Hey, that's my deer!
376
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,837
Aaaaaaah!
377
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,164
Raah!
378
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:35,295
I hope your god is
as big a dick as you.
379
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,554
My god's the biggest dick
that's never existed.
380
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,758
Why do you think
I'm even here?
381
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,012
[snake hisses]
382
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,686
[ Eagle screeches ]
You're here...
383
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:49,139
because you created
someone smarter than you.
384
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,938
Oh, I thought
we were both here
385
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,145
because I created
a universe of idiots.
386
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,158
Kalo kada sha la.
387
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,706
Holy shit. Morty?
I haven't seen you in months!
388
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,533
You're leading
the tree people?
389
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,959
Huh.
That's a step up.
390
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,251
We have no leaders.
391
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,830
We follow
only the will of the forest.
392
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,039
Ooh. Wow.
393
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,466
Gaaaaay.
394
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,043
That is pretty gay.
395
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,969
You two call yourselves
geniuses,
396
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,672
but you have spent
this time learning nothing.
397
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,507
Come with me
into the forest.
398
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,139
There is something
I wish to teach you.
399
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:34,108
This is Ku'ala,
the spirit tree.
400
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,106
For generations,
it has guided the --
401
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,401
You have to get us
the fuck outta here.
402
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,278
These people are
backwards savages.
403
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,950
They eat
every third baby
404
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,073
because they think
it makes fruit grow bigger.
405
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,576
Everyone's gross, and they all
smell like piss all the time.
406
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,249
I m-- I m-- I miss my family.
I miss my laptop.
407
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,076
I masturbated
to an extra-curvy piece
408
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,582
of driftwood the other day!
409
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,288
Look, I-l don't care
what it takes.
410
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,998
You two are putting aside
your bullshit,
411
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,379
and you're working together
to get us back home.
412
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,302
No can do, Morty.
I just can't.
413
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,004
I just don't see
how I can --
414
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,304
R0 ro dah no gah!
415
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,099
You're smart.
You'll figure it out.
416
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,348
[guns cocking]
You have 10 seconds
417
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,270
to get out of the ship!
418
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:14,064
18,9...
419
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,392
All right, not bad.
420
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,477
I guess you're
an okay proto recombinator.
421
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,154
I've certainly seen
worse ionic cell dioxination.
422
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,947
If this works,
drinks are on me.
423
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,650
If drinks are on you,
you're gonna need
424
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,360
a second mortgage
on that tower.
425
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:26,945
I'm an alcoholic.
426
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,450
Opium addict.
427
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,702
[ Both laugh ]
428
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:33,284
All right, okay, okay,
okay, wrap it up.
429
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,960
You guys are
the fucking worst!
430
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,253
Your gods are a lie!
431
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,798
Fuck you, fuck nature,
and fuck trees!
432
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,506
Yes! You did it!
Yes!
433
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,303
Hey, uh,
how about that drink?
434
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,131
Sure, I just need to go grab
my wallet from inside my ship.
435
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,717
Oh, is your wallet
in your ship?
436
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,301
That's where
the transporter is, too,
437
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:51,806
so why don't we
come with?
438
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:55,140
It's cool.
I'll be back in a sec.
439
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:58,978
You know how long a second can
take in a microverse?
440
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,154
Run, Morty! That asshole's
willing to risk...
441
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,776
everything he cares
about just to defeat me!
442
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,232
He's psychotic!
443
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,532
[ Both pant]
444
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,824
- Morty, hop on my back.
- Why'?
445
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:11,326
Go, go [burps]
Sanchez ski shoes.
446
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,501
- Aaaaaah!
- ...eight...
447
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,702
[ panting ]
448
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,083
Aaaah!
Oof!
449
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,379
[all grunting]
450
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,958
- Hold still.
- [grunts]
451
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,793
Oh, hey, guys.
452
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,379
I just finished
cooking us a feast.
453
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,180
- Aaaah!
- Holy --
454
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,475
- You monster!
- Whoa. Bad tour.
455
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,097
...seven...
456
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,678
[elevator bell dings]
Hey, you gotta sign out.
457
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,105
Nothing you do matters!
Your existence is a lie!
458
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:39,730
If that were
really true, then...
459
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,982
- I'm here to see Ron Mendleson.
- Third floor.
460
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,688
Would you like
to go to dinner with --
461
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,364
Uh, no.
462
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,862
[ Both panting ]
463
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,910
You may have created
this universe, Rick,
464
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,580
but I live in it.
- Shit!
465
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,407
What are we gonna do, Rick?
We're so screwed.
466
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,208
He's gonna get to the ship
and smash the microverse,
467
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,752
and then he's gonna kill us!
468
00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,420
Quick, Morty, you've got
to turn into a car.
469
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,122
- What?!
- A long time ago...
470
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,832
I implanted you with
a subdermal chip that could
471
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,713
call upon dormant nanobots
in your bloodstream
472
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:07,045
to restructure your anatomy
and turn you into a car.
473
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,550
- Oh, my god!
- Concentrate, Morty.
474
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:09,926
Concentrate and turn
into a car, Morty.
475
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,553
[grunts]
476
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,134
Never mind. Here's a taxi.
Get in. It's fine.
477
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,935
...six...
478
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,727
- Hey, Zeep.
- Huh?
479
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:21,434
Happy Ricksgiving,
biiiiiitch.
480
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,394
Aaah!
481
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:24,854
We did it, Morty.
482
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,860
Now let's get out of here
and destroy this whole universe.
483
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,282
Excuse me?
484
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,359
...five --
- Sir?
485
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:32,907
[spiders hiss]
486
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,705
- Holy hell.
- Sir!
487
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:35,827
[tires screech ]
488
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,032
Hold your fire!
489
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:39,751
[spider snarls]
490
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,295
What's going on?
491
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,713
FEMALE VOICE: I have brokered
a peace agreement
492
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,166
between the giant spiders
and the government.
493
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:48,594
Thanks to the skilled diplomacy
of this mysterious space car,
494
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:51,513
from this day forward,
human and spiderkind will live
495
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,466
side by side in peace.
496
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,222
We will stop bombing them,
497
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,224
and they will no longer use
their telepathic abilities
498
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,726
to make us wander into webs
for later consumption.
499
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,352
Instead, we will
work together
500
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:03,810
to make this world
a better place for all,
501
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,146
no matter how many legs.
502
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,356
What do we do
about the space car?
503
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:09,691
Leave it alone.
504
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,367
I mean, what did it
really do, anyways?
505
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:12,694
Kill a guy
and paralyze his buddy?
506
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:15,576
[chuckles] Not a bad trade
for spider peace.
507
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,532
All right, that's it.
Move out!
508
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,339
[ Iaughs ]
I love this spider!
509
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,041
FEMALE VOICE: Summer is safe.
510
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,626
All right, I get it.
511
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,844
ZEEP:
Riiiick!
512
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,516
[thunder crashes ]
513
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,184
Don't do it.
514
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:40,513
You quit school, but you
still got some learning to do.
515
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:48,317
[ Both grunting ]
516
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,571
[ Both groan ]
517
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,277
Aah!
518
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,782
Unh!
519
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,504
[ Snorts, spits ]
520
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:06,546
Class dismissed.
521
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,920
Geez.
522
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,471
[ Bottles clatter]
523
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,097
- You all right?
- Uh-Huh!
524
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,393
What are you doing,
Rick?
525
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,096
I'm pretty sure
the battery's dead.
526
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,476
Oh, you think so,
huh, Morty?
527
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,149
Well, let's see.
[engine turns over]
528
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,568
Hey, wait -- Huh?
I don't get it.
529
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,862
Of course you don't.
But Zeep did.
530
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,439
He knew that once I got
back to my car,
531
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,365
one of two things
was gonna happen --
532
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,443
I was gonna have to toss
a broken battery,
533
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:38,370
or the battery wouldn't
be broken.
534
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:46,625
Peace among worlds, Rick.
535
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:47,830
Jesus.
536
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,506
Yeah.
Listen to that baby purr.
537
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,175
You were right, Morty --
538
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,752
We really just needed to
be honest with those guys.
539
00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:54,052
All right, here we go.
540
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,390
Thank y-o-o-o...
541
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:00,218
See, Morty?
This is what it's all about.
542
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,894
This is why we do
what we do.
543
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,471
- Uh-Huh.
- Ew! What the hell?
544
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,602
Jesus!
There's flies in my ice cream.
545
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:06,898
Presidential decree --
546
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,352
All ice cream is now
for all beings,
547
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,937
no matter how many legs.
548
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,613
What the fuck
did you do, Summer?!
549
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,315
It was your ship!
Your stupid ship did it!
550
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,025
- Don't blame my ship!
- It melted a child!
551
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,031
My ship doesn't do anything
unless it's told to!
552
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,783
I don't want
to hear it, Summer!
553
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,864
Your boobs are
all hanging about,
554
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,790
and you ruined ice cream
with your boobs out.
555
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,539
And don't even try
to deny it, either.
556
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:26,744
MORTY:
[groans]
557
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,623
[car alarm chirps]
558
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,664
[engine revs,
students scream ]
559
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:14,126
[alarm blaring,
horn honking]
560
00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:15,676
Oh, my god!
561
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,128
Did you get any of that?
562
00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:19,179
It's a good show!
41544
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