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Sync & corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
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Principal vagina here.
Don't let the name fool you.
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00:00:35,690 --> 00:00:38,130
I'm very much in charge
reminding you that tonight
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00:00:38,150 --> 00:00:39,700
is our annual flu season dance.
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00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,440
I don't know how many
times I have to say this,
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00:00:41,466 --> 00:00:43,185
but if you have
the flu, stay home.
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Hey.
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The flu season dance is about
awareness, not celebration.
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You don't bring dead babies
to passover.
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00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,230
Okay. Here we go.
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00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,400
Hey, Jessica.
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Uh...
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00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:55,230
What's up, Morty?
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What are you doing?
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Um...
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00:00:57,750 --> 00:00:58,870
Wait, wait.
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00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:00,829
Were you about to talk... to her?
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Well... I mean, I was
thinking about it.
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00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:05,500
Dude, stay in your league.
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00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:06,670
Look at how hot she is.
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00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:09,500
You don't see me going to a
bigger school in a wealthier district
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00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,300
and hitting on their
prettiest girl.
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Gee, thanks, Brad.
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I throw balls far.
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00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:17,230
You want good words?
Date a languager.
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00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,129
Try not to worry about
it, Morty.
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You're a good kid, and there's
not a premium on that right now,
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00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,430
but you'll be getting girls
sometime after Brad's out of shape.
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00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:26,830
You're missing the point, dad.
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00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:29,530
I don't want girls.
I want Jessica.
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Ah, well, I remember
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00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:32,730
feeling that way about a young
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lady named "your mom," and
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that's not an urban diss.
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Your mom was my Jessica.
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I remember the first time I saw
her.
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00:01:38,150 --> 00:01:38,800
I thought,
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"I should get her pregnant, and
then she'll have to marry me."
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I beg your pardon,
Rick. Inappropriate.
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Sorry, please proceed
with your story
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00:01:45,761 --> 00:01:47,430
about banging my
daughter in high school.
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00:01:47,450 --> 00:01:50,070
I'm not sure you want to take
romantic advice from this guy, Morty.
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His marriage is hanging from a
thread.
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My marriage is fine, thank you.
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Jerry, it's your
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house whatever you say it is
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is how it is but I think a
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blind man could see that Beth is
looking for the door.
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I barely have a reason to care,
and even inoticed.
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00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:02,470
Come on, Rick!
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00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,000
Don't talk about my parents like
that.
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00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:07,200
Listen, Morty, I hate to break it
to you, but what people call "love"...
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00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:10,029
is just a chemical reaction
that compels animals to breed.
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00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:12,500
It hits hard, Morty, then it
slowly fades,
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leaving you stranded
in a failing marriage.
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I did it.
Your parents are gonna do it.
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Break the cycle, Morty.
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Rise above. Focus on science.
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All right, well, I'm gonna go
get dressed for the dance.
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00:02:24,650 --> 00:02:28,170
Yeah, I'm just going
to... check on your mom.
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00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:33,500
Morty, hand me that
screwdriver, huh?
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I'm almost finished making my
ionic defibulizer, Morty.
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It's gonna be great.
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Hey, listen, Rick.
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You know how you said that,
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you know, love is a chemical and
all that stuff from earlier?
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00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:42,970
Well, I was thinking, you know,
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00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:45,729
could you make some
sort of chemical thing
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00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,400
happen inside of Jessica's
mind, you know,
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00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,130
so where she falls in love with me
and all that sort of thing?
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00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:51,000
You know, like, maybe make some
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00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:52,530
sort of love potion or
something?
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00:02:52,550 --> 00:02:54,230
Morty, that's such a
poor use of my time.
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00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,070
It's beneath me.
Hand me the screwdriver.
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00:02:56,090 --> 00:02:57,770
You know what?
No, Rick!
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00:02:57,790 --> 00:02:59,530
I'm not gonna hand you the
screwdriver.
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I'm not gonna hand you
anything ever again, Rick!
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00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:04,469
I'm always helping you with this
and that and the other thing.
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What about me, Rick?
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Why can't you just help
me out once once for once?
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You're growing up fast, Morty.
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You're growing into a real big
thorn straight up into my ass.
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Listen, this is called oxytocin.
I extracted it from a vole.
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00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:20,370
Do you know what a vole is,
Morty?
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You know what a vole is?
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It's a it's a rodent that
mates for life, Morty.
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This is the chemical released
in a mammal's brain,
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you know, that
makes it fall in love.
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All right, Morty, I just got to
combine it with some of your DNA.
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00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:30,930
Oh, well, okay.
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A hair, Morty.
I need one of your hairs.
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- This isn't "game of thrones."
- Ow!
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All right, Morty.
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Whoever you smear this stuff on
will fall in love with you,
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and only you, forever.
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- Are you happy now, Morty?
- Heck, yeah!
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Thank you, grandpa Rick.
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Hey, there's no... dangers or
anything, or side effects, right?
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What am I, a hack?
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Go nuts, Morty. It's foolproof.
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Eh, unless she has the flu.
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00:03:57,890 --> 00:04:02,230
- Beth, do you still love me?
- Ugh, what kind of question is that?
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00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:03,970
The "yes or no" kind?
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00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:06,930
Jerry, do you want
homeless people to have homes?
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00:04:06,950 --> 00:04:08,600
- Yes.
- Are you gonna build them?
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00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:11,469
- No.
- Then what good was the "yes"?
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00:04:11,490 --> 00:04:14,430
Wait, is loving me the house
or the homeless people?
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Loving you is work,
Jerry hard work,
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like building a homeless shelter
nobody wants to say no to doing it,
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00:04:21,690 --> 00:04:22,999
but some people put the work in.
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So, what do you say?
Do you see me working here?
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Does this conversation seem
tedious to me?
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Sort of.
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Then I obviously sort
of love you, don't I?
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So stop asking, and maybe I'll
love you more.
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Crap, they need me at the horse
hospital.
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This late?
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The racetrack had a
starlight derby.
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There was a seven-horse collision,
and Davin's there alone.
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Davin.
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Davin! Davin.
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Davin! Davin!
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Davin! Davin!
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♪ Flu, yo ♪
♪ you got to be aware ♪
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♪ aware of all the flu ♪
♪ up in the air ♪
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♪ I'm-a get me a shot ♪
♪ and make the flu go away ♪
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♪ flu-hating rapper ♪
♪ just rapping away ♪
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♪ yo, yo, flu-hating rapper ♪
♪ it's a flu-hating rapper ♪
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00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:06,600
Hey, there, Jessica.
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00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:09,430
Whoa! Oh, whoopsie!
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00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:10,869
Oh, my God.
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Morty.
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You look really nice tonight.
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00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,200
Wow, thanks.
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I love you, Morty!
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I love you so much it burns!
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Oh, man!
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I love you too, Jessica!
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00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:25,770
Is this punk bothering you,
Jessica?
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Leave him alone, jerk!
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00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:28,670
I'm in love with him!
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He is more man than you will
ever be!
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♪ This is about ♪
♪ flu awareness ♪
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♪ got to be aware of the flu in ♪
♪ the air-ness ♪
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00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,900
♪ yo, I'm a flu-hating rapper ♪
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00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,570
Oh, man, Morty.
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00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:41,870
I'm really sorry.
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Oh, well, no problem, Brad.
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00:05:44,390 --> 00:05:47,070
There's something special
about you, Morty so special.
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00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:49,230
- Mmm, yeah.
- Whoa, take it easy!
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00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:50,430
Get your hands off of him!
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00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,730
- Back off!
- I'm trying to be with my man!
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That's enough, Bradley!
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We don't want you injuring your
ball-throwing arm.
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00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,000
Oh, come on, principal Vagina.
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00:05:57,350 --> 00:05:58,930
Never leave me, Morty.
Never!
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Uh, sure.
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I mean, of course not.
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00:06:02,220 --> 00:06:04,970
What do you think that was all
about?
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00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,370
Who cares? Just hold me.
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00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,870
Let me go! I love you, Morty!
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Let go of me!
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00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:13,770
Morty!
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She's gonna be alone
with that guy all night.
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00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:23,600
Yeah, dad, digging
around the insides of horses.
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00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:24,930
It's not a very
romantic setting.
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00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:26,877
Well, Summer, there's
always the possibility
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00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:28,385
that she made the
whole work thing up.
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00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:30,700
Maybe Davin's digging
around in her insides.
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00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,130
Grandpa, so gross!
You're talking about my mom.
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00:06:33,150 --> 00:06:34,900
Well, she's my daughter, Summer.
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00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:35,930
I outrank you.
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00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:38,800
Or family means nothing, in
which case don't play that card.
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00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:40,770
She's not responding
to my texts!
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00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:41,930
Careful, dad.
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00:06:41,950 --> 00:06:43,030
Jealousy turns women off.
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00:06:43,050 --> 00:06:44,930
Well, isn't that convenient?
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00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:47,170
Not for the men they
cheat on, no.
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00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:50,700
Okay, I'm... going to
go out... for some ice cream.
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00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:54,170
And maybe stop by the
hospital... to support my wife...
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00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:55,430
with my confidence.
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00:06:56,690 --> 00:06:59,970
- God, grandpa, you're such a dick.
- I'm sorry, Summer.
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00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:01,600
Your opinion means very little
to me.
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00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:04,070
How come you're not at this stupid
dance everyone loves so much?
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00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,030
Screw that.
I don't want to get sick.
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00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,629
- It's flu season.
- It is?
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00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:09,600
- Yeah.
- Uh-oh.
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00:07:15,090 --> 00:07:16,900
Please just let this work out.
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00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:19,900
Do it, Morty. Do it.
190
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,400
Rip my clothes off and mate with
me for life!
191
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,330
Um...
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00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:26,770
Can we maybe go
somewhere more private?
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00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:28,830
Jessica, get a hold of yourself!
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00:07:30,290 --> 00:07:33,170
You don't deserve to carry
Morty's genes.
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00:07:33,190 --> 00:07:37,830
♪ I love Morty ♪
♪ and I hope Morty loves me ♪
196
00:07:37,850 --> 00:07:41,070
♪ I'd like to wrap my arms ♪
♪ around him ♪
197
00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:42,869
♪ and feel him inside me ♪
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00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:44,270
Oh, crap.
199
00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:49,000
Morty!
200
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,900
Morty, come on!
We got to get you out of here.
201
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,158
You're not gonna believe this,
202
00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:55,949
because it usually never happens,
but I made a mistake.
203
00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:58,570
Come on, Morty.
We got to get out of here.
204
00:07:58,590 --> 00:07:59,500
Morty!
205
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:01,030
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine!
206
00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:02,000
Oh, good.
207
00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:04,770
If anything ever happened to
you, I would kill myself.
208
00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:06,670
I love you bad, mo-mo!
209
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,070
Morty, the principal and I
have discussed it,
210
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:16,430
and we're both insecure enough
to agree to a three-way!
211
00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:22,370
I didn't realize when
I gave you that serum
212
00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:23,770
that Jessica had
the flu, you know,
213
00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:26,300
that might have been valuable
information for me, Morty.
214
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,000
What the hell is going on, Rick?
215
00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:29,130
What does it look like?
216
00:08:29,150 --> 00:08:31,230
The serum is piggybacking
on the virus.
217
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:32,800
It's gone airborne, Morty.
218
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,430
Oh, crap.
What are we gonna do, Rick?
219
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:36,599
It's gonna be fine,
Morty, relax.
220
00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:37,800
I whipped up and antidote.
221
00:08:37,819 --> 00:08:39,929
It's based on praying-mantis
222
00:08:39,949 --> 00:08:42,500
You know, praying mantises are the
exact opposite of voles, Morty.
223
00:08:42,519 --> 00:08:44,670
I mean, they they mate once, and then
they, you know,
224
00:08:44,695 --> 00:08:46,830
...decapitate the partner.
I mean, it's a whole ritual.
225
00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:48,830
It's really gruesome and totally
opposite.
226
00:08:48,850 --> 00:08:49,970
There's no love at all.
227
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:52,800
I basically mixed this with
a more contagious flu virus.
228
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:55,370
It should neutralize the whole
thing, Morty.
229
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:57,330
It'll all be over very shortly.
230
00:08:57,355 --> 00:09:00,355
Morty!
231
00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:04,300
Uh, by the way, Morty, I know
you didn't ask or anything, but...
232
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,000
I'm not interested in having sex
with you.
233
00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:09,070
These serums, they don't work on
anybody related to you genetically.
234
00:09:09,190 --> 00:09:11,430
Morty!
235
00:09:23,750 --> 00:09:27,130
Okay, well, sometimes, science
is more art than science, Morty.
236
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,670
A lot of people don't get that.
237
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,600
Come on. Are you kidding me?
238
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,530
Hello!
239
00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:41,570
Morty!
240
00:09:41,590 --> 00:09:42,670
You're not Morty!
241
00:09:42,690 --> 00:09:44,500
Bring us Morty!
242
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:58,070
Nobody's killing me until after I
catch my wife with another man.
243
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,099
I had sex with Billy.
244
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,930
But you were already pregnant!
245
00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:04,200
Yeah, so what's the worst
that could happen?
246
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,800
We interrupt "pregnant baby"
with breaking news.
247
00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:08,300
Come on.
248
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,370
This just in; Morty Smith's
whereabouts are still unknown.
249
00:10:11,390 --> 00:10:12,500
What the hell?
250
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,230
The only thing that is known
is... how cute he is.
251
00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:19,470
I love him so much, I want to make
love to him and then eat his head.
252
00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:22,000
I love him more than you do,
Harold!
253
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,569
You wish, you stupid bitch!
254
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,600
Morty's mine!
255
00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:25,770
Morty's mine!
256
00:10:25,790 --> 00:10:26,969
Meant to be together!
257
00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:29,700
Morty!
258
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,970
Where is Morty?
259
00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:54,530
Oh, my God, Rick.
The whole world is infected!
260
00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:57,030
Yeah, it's pretty wild
how fast that spread.
261
00:10:57,050 --> 00:10:58,170
I've really outdone myself.
262
00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,370
Outdone yourself?!
263
00:10:59,390 --> 00:11:01,030
Are you kidding me, Rick?
264
00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:02,200
This is not okay!
265
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:04,400
Not only do they all want to
have sex with me,
266
00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:06,500
but, you know, now they
want to eat me afterwards!
267
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,100
Yeah, I don't know what
I was thinking.
268
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,800
Mantises are they
opposite of voles?
269
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:12,800
I mean, obviously, DNA's a little
more complicated than that.
270
00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:13,980
You know what, though, Morty?
271
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:15,670
This right here's gonna do the
trick, baby.
272
00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:18,829
It's koala mixed with
rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus,
273
00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:22,400
shark, golden retriever, and
just a smidge of dinosaur.
274
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,930
Should add up to normal
humanity.
275
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,070
That doesn't make
any sense, Rick.
276
00:11:26,090 --> 00:11:27,900
How does that add up to normal
humanity?
277
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,800
What, Morty, you want
me to show you my math?
278
00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:31,538
I'm sorry are you the scientist
279
00:11:31,564 --> 00:11:33,295
or are you the kid that
wanted to get laid?
280
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:38,296
Well, I'm glad we saved
all those horses,
281
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:40,099
but I'm almost sorry
we're finished.
282
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,970
Yes, it's satisfying work.
283
00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:44,470
Unh-unh-unh, it's, uh
it's more than the work.
284
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:48,970
I love being in that sterilized
room, sealed off from the world.
285
00:11:48,990 --> 00:11:51,570
It's the only time I can really
think... and feel.
286
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,830
Hmm, uh, what are you doing?
287
00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:57,100
I'm playing African dream pop.
288
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,900
What do you do after
a long night?
289
00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:03,270
Oh, ha, um, hey,
I'd better get going.
290
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,670
Um, Jerry's been texting some
pretty high-maintenance stuff.
291
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:06,470
Beth...
292
00:12:06,490 --> 00:12:07,430
What is it, Davin?
293
00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:10,600
Just once, I'd like to know...
294
00:12:11,950 --> 00:12:14,830
...what it was like to give
your son a bath.
295
00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:16,230
What?!
296
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:19,770
What does Morty's
skin smell like?
297
00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:21,069
How soft...
298
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:24,770
How soft are his privates?
299
00:12:24,790 --> 00:12:26,470
Let go of me, Davin!
300
00:12:32,650 --> 00:12:34,929
Take me to Morty.
301
00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:37,600
You're not Morty.
302
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:38,830
No.
303
00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:45,170
I'm Mr. Crowbar, and this is my
friend, who is also a crowbar.
304
00:12:45,190 --> 00:12:47,070
That's... stupid.
305
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:51,100
Yeah?
306
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:52,829
Well, look where
being smart got you.
307
00:12:52,850 --> 00:12:54,630
Jerry! Thank God!
308
00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:55,930
God?
309
00:12:55,950 --> 00:12:59,300
God's turning people into insect
monsters, Beth.
310
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,170
I'm the one beating
them to death.
311
00:13:01,190 --> 00:13:02,200
Thank me.
312
00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:03,600
Thank you, Jerry.
313
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:05,600
Thank you.
314
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,930
Take a good look down
there, Morty, and soak it in,
315
00:13:11,950 --> 00:13:14,870
because, you know, once I pull this
lever, it's all back to normal.
316
00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:16,069
Just do it already.
317
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:18,230
Well, technically, Morty,
there's no rush.
318
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:20,010
I mean, you know, once it's
fixed, it's done.
319
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:20,970
It's fixed.
320
00:13:20,990 --> 00:13:23,900
You know, we could we could
just enjoy it for a little bit.
321
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,430
I mean, look at how crazy it is.
322
00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:26,670
I mean, Morty,
323
00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:28,770
when's the next time you're gonna see
something like this?
324
00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:31,430
I mean, soak it in, you know?
It's it's pretty neat.
325
00:13:31,450 --> 00:13:32,770
- It's pretty interesting.
- That's it, Rick!
326
00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:34,069
I'm pulling the lever.
327
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,000
What do we have here, Morty?
328
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:44,130
Looks like I was right and you
were wrong, huh?
329
00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:46,760
I bet you feel pretty stupid
right about now, huh?
330
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:49,100
I bet you feel like the
world's smallest man
331
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,370
that you were doubting me
about this whole thing, Morty.
332
00:13:51,390 --> 00:13:53,070
Oh, Rick, something's not right.
333
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:54,870
Yeah, you.
334
00:13:54,890 --> 00:13:56,800
- You're not right ever.
- No, no!
335
00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:58,000
Look, you idiot!
336
00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:24,170
Bet you're loving this, Morty.
337
00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:26,200
This must be the best day of
your life.
338
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:28,870
You get to be the mayor of
"I told you" town.
339
00:14:30,050 --> 00:14:30,930
You're welcome.
340
00:14:40,890 --> 00:14:41,930
Hold on.
341
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,870
I wish that shotgun
was my penis.
342
00:15:03,890 --> 00:15:06,870
If it were, you could
call me Ernest Hemingway.
343
00:15:06,890 --> 00:15:09,430
I don't get it, and I
don't need to.
344
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:12,830
Mom! Dad!
345
00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:15,100
- Summer!
- Summer!
346
00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:18,770
- Where's Morty?
- I don't know.
347
00:15:18,790 --> 00:15:20,830
Do you think grandpa Rick had
something to do with this?
348
00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:22,630
It's not fair to
assume that, Summer.
349
00:15:22,650 --> 00:15:24,800
Oh, not fair?
Give me a break.
350
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:28,370
He is a selfish, irresponsible
ass, and he left my mother.
351
00:15:28,390 --> 00:15:31,170
A real man stands by his woman.
352
00:15:36,690 --> 00:15:38,830
Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo.
353
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:41,830
Boy, Morty, I really cronenberged
the world up, didn't I?
354
00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,570
We got a whole planet
of cronenbergs
355
00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:45,070
walking around down
there, Morty.
356
00:15:45,090 --> 00:15:47,210
At least they're not in love
with you anymore, though.
357
00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:48,800
That's a huge step in the right
direction.
358
00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:49,730
Oh, my God!
359
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:50,970
It's a living nightmare!
360
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:53,370
How could you be so
irresponsible, Rick?
361
00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:55,030
Me irresponsible?!
362
00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:57,989
All I wanted you to do was
hand me a screwdriver, Morty!
363
00:15:58,050 --> 00:15:59,300
You're the one who wanted me
364
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:03,000
to buckle down
and make you up a... roofie-juice
365
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:06,330
serum so you could roofie that
poor girl at your school.
366
00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:09,370
I mean, are you kidding me, Morty?
367
00:16:09,390 --> 00:16:11,400
You're gonna try to take the
high road on this one?
368
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:13,029
You're a little creep, Morty.
369
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,770
You're you're just a little
creepy... creep person.
370
00:16:15,790 --> 00:16:16,829
All right, fine.
371
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:19,430
I should have just listened to you
when you refused to make the serum.
372
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:21,731
I'm willing to accept my part of
the blame for this, Rick.
373
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,330
But I'll tell you something
you know what?
374
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,300
You got to accept your part of
the blame!
375
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,230
I'm not the one who fouled up
the serum!
376
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:29,930
I'm not the one who
haphazardly, you know,
377
00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:33,230
mixed a bunch of nonsense together
and created a bunch of cronenbergs!
378
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:34,300
You got to fix this, Rick!
379
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,830
All right, all right, Morty.
380
00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:38,270
You know, we are in a
pretty deep hole, here,
381
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:41,030
but I do have one emergency solution that
I can use that'll kind of put
382
00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:43,300
everything back to normal,
relatively speaking.
383
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,600
Here, Morty, put this on while I
do a little bit of scouting.
384
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,600
Wow, Rick, I got to say,
385
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:04,030
you really pulled a rabbit
out of your hat this time.
386
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:06,369
I mean, I really thought
that the whole place
387
00:17:06,390 --> 00:17:08,300
was gonna be
messed up for good, but here,
388
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:12,030
you did it... you figured out that
crazy solution, like you always do.
389
00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:13,970
Whoo!
That's some great luck.
390
00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:15,230
Come on, Morty.
391
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:16,430
Luck had nothing to do with it.
392
00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:19,770
I'm great.
That's the real reason.
393
00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:21,430
Now, Morty, what do you say,
buddy?
394
00:17:21,450 --> 00:17:23,000
Will you hand me a screwdriver
395
00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:25,069
so I can finish my ionic dis
defibulizer?
396
00:17:25,089 --> 00:17:26,230
Sure thing, Rick.
397
00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:27,370
Here's a screwdriver.
398
00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:28,730
All right, Morty.
399
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:29,970
Thank you very much.
400
00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:34,070
We got one screw turn... and two
screw turns... and...
401
00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:40,430
All right, Morty, here we are.
402
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:41,770
Oh, my God, Rick!
403
00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:42,870
Is that us?!
404
00:17:42,890 --> 00:17:43,970
We're dead!
405
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:45,730
What is going on, Rick?
I'm freaking out!
406
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:46,800
Calm down, Morty!
407
00:17:46,820 --> 00:17:47,929
Look at me! Calm down, Morty!
408
00:17:47,950 --> 00:17:49,400
No, I can't deal with this!
409
00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:52,070
- Calm yourself, Morty.
- I can't deal with this, Rick!
410
00:17:52,090 --> 00:17:54,200
- Calm down, Morty.
- This can't be real!
411
00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,830
You got to calm down, Morty.
412
00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:57,170
We're ripped apart!
413
00:17:57,190 --> 00:17:58,870
Shut up and listen to me!
414
00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:00,200
It's fine. Everything is fine.
415
00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:02,800
There's an infinite number of
realities, Morty,
416
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,570
and in a few dozen of
those, I got lucky and
417
00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:05,800
turned everything back to
normal.
418
00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:07,570
I just had to find one
of those realities
419
00:18:07,590 --> 00:18:09,930
in which we also happen
to both die around this time.
420
00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:11,300
Now we can just slip into the
421
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:12,870
place of our dead selves in this
422
00:18:12,890 --> 00:18:14,700
reality and everything will be
fine.
423
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,270
We're not skipping a beat,
Morty.
424
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:18,330
- Now, help me with these bodies.
- This is insane.
425
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:20,770
Look, Morty, I'll grab
myself, you grab yourself, okay?
426
00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:22,570
I mean, that seems
fair to me I mean,
427
00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:24,129
that seems like a
fair way to divvy it up.
428
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:26,270
Rick, what about the
reality we left behind?
429
00:18:26,290 --> 00:18:29,000
What about the reality where
Hitler cured cancer, Morty?
430
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,470
The answer is don't
think about it.
431
00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:32,700
It's not like we can do this
every week, anyways.
432
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,370
We get three or four more of
these, tops.
433
00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:35,930
Now, pick up your dead self and
come on.
434
00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:37,230
Haste makes waste.
435
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,830
I don't suppose you've
considered this detail,
436
00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:42,300
but obviously, if I hadn't screwed
up as much as I did,
437
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,630
we'd be these guys right now,
so, again, you're welcome.
438
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:56,170
♪ Look on down from the bridge ♪
439
00:18:56,190 --> 00:19:04,190
♪ there's still fountains down there ♪
440
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:12,100
♪ look on down from the bridge ♪
441
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:20,120
♪ it's still raining up here ♪
442
00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:29,900
♪ everybody seems so ♪
♪ far away from me ♪
443
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:37,770
♪ everybody just ♪
♪ wants to be free ♪
444
00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:43,800
♪ look away from the sky ♪
445
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:49,830
♪ it's no different when you're ♪
♪ leaving home ♪
446
00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:59,270
♪ I can't be the same ♪
♪ thing to you now ♪
447
00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:03,918
♪ I'm just gone ♪
448
00:20:04,044 --> 00:20:08,530
♪ just gone ♪
449
00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:17,130
♪ how could I say goodbye? ♪
450
00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:20,670
♪ How could I say goodbye? ♪
451
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:24,930
You know, the thing
about a shark...
452
00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:29,930
He's got lifeless eyes...
black eyes, like a doll's eyes.
453
00:20:29,950 --> 00:20:34,230
When he comes at ya, he doesn't
seem to be living until he bites ya,
454
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:37,070
and then the the blood,
and the red, and the water...
455
00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:39,469
You ever wonder what happened to
Rick and Morty?
456
00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:41,100
Sometimes.
457
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:47,670
But, I'm ashamed to admit, now that
they're gone, I'm finally happy.
458
00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:51,000
Here we are, cronenberg Morty,
459
00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:53,930
a reality where everyone in the world got
genetically cronenberged.
460
00:20:53,950 --> 00:20:55,970
We'll fit right in,
cronenberg Morty.
461
00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:58,030
It'll be like we never even left
cronenberg world.
462
00:20:58,050 --> 00:21:01,130
Yeah, cronenberg Rick, but, you know,
I'm gonna miss cronenberg world,
463
00:21:01,150 --> 00:21:03,070
because everyone was
cronenberged all along
464
00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:04,600
like us from the
beginning, you know?
465
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:07,100
I mean, I wish we hadn't
genetically ruined cronenberg world
466
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,600
beyond repair like we did,
you know, and turned everyone
467
00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:12,030
into regular, normal people just
walking around.
468
00:21:12,050 --> 00:21:15,430
Don't you worry about that sort
of thing, cronenberg Morty.
469
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,720
Let's go make ourselves at home,
huh?
470
00:21:18,455 --> 00:21:23,455
Sync & corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
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