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1
00:00:00,879 --> 00:00:03,116
(gentle music)
2
00:00:14,773 --> 00:00:17,011
♪♪♪
3
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(cheers and applause)
4
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,260
Whoa!
5
00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:20,237
Okay, yeah.
Good.
6
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Okay, don't embarrass
yourself, okay.
7
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Ohh, the expectations.
8
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Crushing, I would argue.
9
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Absolutely crushing,
10
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debilitating in every way.
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I'm gonna move this,
'cause I'm so thin
12
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I'll disappear
behind it, so...
13
00:01:34,298 --> 00:01:35,535
And then you'll be like,
"Is that-- Is that Kate
14
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"or is that Kate?
Right?
15
00:01:37,338 --> 00:01:38,641
"I don't know who to watch.
Is that the comedian,
16
00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:39,876
or is that the, uh,
the mic stand?"
17
00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:43,149
So... So, the cameras.
18
00:01:43,183 --> 00:01:44,720
Big night for me.
19
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Yeah, really big.
20
00:01:46,456 --> 00:01:48,694
So there's a camera,
there's a camera. Huh!
21
00:01:48,728 --> 00:01:51,199
You know, they're everywhere.
They can see you.
22
00:01:51,232 --> 00:01:52,636
We can see them.
23
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It's an inherently false,
um, moment, right?
24
00:01:56,242 --> 00:01:58,514
It's a little bit scary.
They're-- they're filming.
25
00:01:58,547 --> 00:02:02,421
They're not actually filming.
They are, but it's...
26
00:02:02,454 --> 00:02:05,662
Is it-- is the camera
inherently misogynist?
27
00:02:05,695 --> 00:02:07,799
Yes, right, so...
28
00:02:07,832 --> 00:02:09,503
Am I-- Am I--
Do I feel attacked?
29
00:02:09,536 --> 00:02:12,642
Yeah. Right, it's very--
Even the language.
30
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You know, "We're shooting her.
We shot her.
31
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"We got her.
32
00:02:19,221 --> 00:02:21,359
We have her."
Right, it's a--
33
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:23,597
You know, I feel--
34
00:02:23,631 --> 00:02:26,904
Is it scary?
Yeah, you know...
35
00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:28,373
Is what I do brave?
36
00:02:28,406 --> 00:02:29,710
Yeah, you know...
37
00:02:29,743 --> 00:02:31,747
(chuckles)
It absolutely is.
38
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But I was, of course,
forced into comedy
39
00:02:33,751 --> 00:02:35,755
at a very young age
40
00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:37,257
just because
of my bone structure.
41
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,295
But I did...
42
00:02:39,328 --> 00:02:41,533
I chose to stay in it
for this, the directness.
43
00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:43,203
Right? And I can reach out
and I can actually--
44
00:02:43,236 --> 00:02:44,472
I'm changing lives,
and she's crying.
45
00:02:44,506 --> 00:02:45,842
She's crying.
It's me, sweetie.
46
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,244
You can touch, yeah, yeah.
Very sweet.
47
00:02:47,277 --> 00:02:48,346
No, that was very sweet.
48
00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:49,750
That was very sweet.
49
00:02:49,783 --> 00:02:51,285
She was looking up at me,
and she was like,
50
00:02:51,319 --> 00:02:52,689
"Uh! I grew up with you
in my home.
51
00:02:52,722 --> 00:02:54,291
"How can--
Am I in my living room?
52
00:02:54,325 --> 00:02:56,362
What's going on?"
53
00:02:56,396 --> 00:02:58,199
And her friend was like,
"Go for it, babe."
54
00:02:58,233 --> 00:02:59,536
And she was like,
"Okay, if you say so."
55
00:02:59,569 --> 00:03:01,372
It was very sweet.
So, yeah.
56
00:03:01,406 --> 00:03:04,211
So it's... great moment
to have up top.
57
00:03:04,245 --> 00:03:06,517
Unprecedented, I would argue,
to have such
58
00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:08,386
a direct physical connection
with the audience,
59
00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:10,257
aside from the emotional one
that I'm fostering already,
60
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,527
and we're what, minute--
Who cares?
61
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:12,862
I'm not counting.
You are, yeah.
62
00:03:12,896 --> 00:03:15,434
But... (exhales)
63
00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:17,438
Out of breath from
the physical comedy I did,
64
00:03:17,471 --> 00:03:19,408
so right now-- I do--
65
00:03:19,442 --> 00:03:22,549
one thing about me that is
essential is that I do comedy
66
00:03:22,582 --> 00:03:24,452
primarily to process
the overwhelming privilege
67
00:03:24,485 --> 00:03:26,757
of my childhood, um...
68
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,928
adolescence
and now adulthood, right?
69
00:03:28,961 --> 00:03:30,631
If you can imagine
growing up
70
00:03:30,665 --> 00:03:33,269
almost collapsing under
the weight of resources.
71
00:03:33,303 --> 00:03:35,240
Right?
Almost so many, right,
72
00:03:35,273 --> 00:03:36,810
that your gait
is affected, right?
73
00:03:36,844 --> 00:03:38,814
If you can imagine my parents,
you know, so loving.
74
00:03:38,848 --> 00:03:40,383
"You're so special.
We love you." Right?
75
00:03:40,417 --> 00:03:42,354
They're
actually not divorced, right?
76
00:03:42,387 --> 00:03:44,559
All of that, and somehow,
with all of that
77
00:03:44,593 --> 00:03:45,928
weighing you down,
78
00:03:45,962 --> 00:03:48,768
just finding the strength
to get to Zara.
79
00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:51,640
Just somehow-- Whoa!
80
00:03:53,677 --> 00:03:58,554
And sometimes Zara's closed,
I'll be honest.
81
00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:01,660
This is actually my first time
not performing for kids.
82
00:04:01,693 --> 00:04:03,597
Um...
83
00:04:03,631 --> 00:04:06,402
I usually do my--
my sort of my--
84
00:04:06,436 --> 00:04:07,705
my bracket is two to four.
85
00:04:07,739 --> 00:04:09,543
That's really where I thrive.
86
00:04:09,576 --> 00:04:11,914
And, you know,
I do a lot of stuff kind of...
87
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,820
♪ Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday ♪
88
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♪ Where are my boots? ♪
You know, and then I...
89
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,861
The boots are gone,
and then we do
90
00:04:18,894 --> 00:04:20,363
a scavenger hunt
for the boots,
91
00:04:20,397 --> 00:04:23,269
and it's really fun,
but tonight, I...
92
00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:26,008
I was like, no, no, no.
I want to do adults.
93
00:04:26,042 --> 00:04:27,679
You know, I want
to do-- I want to go verbal.
94
00:04:27,712 --> 00:04:29,415
I want to do the adult stuff.
95
00:04:29,448 --> 00:04:30,885
It's really hard to have
96
00:04:30,918 --> 00:04:33,289
absolutely no comedic
influences whatsoever.
97
00:04:33,323 --> 00:04:35,427
Um...
98
00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:39,368
Well, I would say
my influences are pottery,
99
00:04:39,401 --> 00:04:41,707
um, just engagement
100
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,644
with the raw materiality
of the earth,
101
00:04:43,677 --> 00:04:46,717
and... small batch granola.
102
00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:49,923
I think just batches
of granola
103
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,493
that are made
in such small quantities
104
00:04:51,527 --> 00:04:53,062
they actively resist capitalism.
105
00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:54,599
I think that's it.
106
00:04:54,633 --> 00:04:57,939
Uh, and Carlin, yeah.
107
00:04:57,972 --> 00:05:00,645
I know I ooze
an East Coast intellectualism,
108
00:05:00,678 --> 00:05:03,383
but I'm actually
from Los Angeles, right here.
109
00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:06,322
Um, is anyone else born
and raised in L. A.?
110
00:05:06,355 --> 00:05:07,859
-(people hoot)
-I'm the only one!
111
00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:11,633
So... it's weird to be
the only one,
112
00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:14,004
but it's
such an incredible...
113
00:05:14,038 --> 00:05:16,375
You know, and people say,
oh, you know,
114
00:05:16,409 --> 00:05:19,481
"Hollywood. It's a paper town
filled with paper people."
115
00:05:19,516 --> 00:05:22,054
You know, but it's so real,
I actually think.
116
00:05:22,087 --> 00:05:24,358
People-- if you were
from here, you'd know
117
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,497
that what we do
with our families
118
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:27,899
is we go out to the docks
every morning,
119
00:05:27,932 --> 00:05:29,936
'cause it really is
an import...
120
00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:35,982
No, it's
an import-export town.
121
00:05:36,015 --> 00:05:37,652
So you'll see families
at dawn,
122
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,455
and we watch the barrels
of the imports come in
123
00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:40,992
and the exports leave, right?
124
00:05:41,025 --> 00:05:43,062
And that kind of creates
this beautiful choreography
125
00:05:43,096 --> 00:05:45,066
of commerce,
and it's really exciting,
126
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:49,008
and I cry every time
that I see it.
127
00:05:49,041 --> 00:05:50,778
(exhales deeply)
So it's emotional.
128
00:05:50,811 --> 00:05:52,949
But, yeah, I love it here.
It's-- it's beautiful.
129
00:05:52,982 --> 00:05:55,453
I often walk around
and, like, it's so lush
130
00:05:55,487 --> 00:05:56,823
I feel like I'm in Mexico,
and then I'm like,
131
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,026
"You are.
It's a false border."
132
00:05:58,059 --> 00:06:00,130
Right? So, yeah, yeah.
133
00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:03,737
Hope there are no cops here.
134
00:06:03,771 --> 00:06:06,142
I like that.
This could be good.
135
00:06:06,175 --> 00:06:07,912
And then it-- But it would
really be subversive
136
00:06:07,946 --> 00:06:09,583
if I took this all the way
into the street,
137
00:06:09,616 --> 00:06:12,655
and then you were still here
and never knew--
138
00:06:12,689 --> 00:06:14,926
"She's in San Diego.
139
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,899
She just crossed the line
into Pomona City."
140
00:06:17,932 --> 00:06:19,636
I don't know about
various cities.
141
00:06:19,669 --> 00:06:22,775
-Um...
-(laughter)
142
00:06:22,809 --> 00:06:24,980
Yeah, because, maps, no.
143
00:06:25,013 --> 00:06:27,017
I won't--
It always terrifies me
144
00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:28,821
when you see people
going to the map store.
145
00:06:28,854 --> 00:06:30,791
"Map for one!"
You know, and they bring it--
146
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,629
They-- "This is what
we worship in this house."
147
00:06:32,662 --> 00:06:35,534
Right.
148
00:06:35,568 --> 00:06:36,937
It's like, who made
your maps? Right?
149
00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:38,707
Who's benefiting
off that system?
150
00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:41,112
Dead silence.
No one cares, so...
151
00:06:41,145 --> 00:06:42,849
And that's
what I'm doing here.
152
00:06:42,882 --> 00:06:44,418
I've actually been
sent here by the government.
153
00:06:44,451 --> 00:06:46,188
(chuckles)
To shine a flashlight
154
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:47,825
in those dark corners
of culture and go,
155
00:06:47,859 --> 00:06:49,596
"Who made your maps?
You don't know, right?
156
00:06:49,629 --> 00:06:51,566
Well, now you're gonna know."
But I--
157
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,802
But then, of course,
the deep terror:
158
00:06:52,835 --> 00:06:54,739
I don't know either.
159
00:06:54,773 --> 00:06:57,110
(chuckles)
160
00:06:57,144 --> 00:06:58,614
Yeah, I don't even know
what day it is.
161
00:06:58,647 --> 00:06:59,950
I don't--
Ask me what day it is.
162
00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:01,218
-[man] What day it is?
-Don't know!
163
00:07:01,252 --> 00:07:03,657
I'm an artist, okay.
164
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,595
I'm more pulled by the tides.
165
00:07:07,164 --> 00:07:09,034
It is sometimes,
I'll admit it, hard
166
00:07:09,068 --> 00:07:10,805
being the only artist
in the room.
167
00:07:10,838 --> 00:07:12,474
Um...
168
00:07:12,508 --> 00:07:13,978
Sorry, the only true artist
in the room.
169
00:07:14,011 --> 00:07:16,048
I am controlling
the laughter tonight also.
170
00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:18,219
Just, you know,
know that, so, yeah, shh.
171
00:07:18,252 --> 00:07:20,558
(chuckles and hums)
172
00:07:20,591 --> 00:07:21,827
Ha ha ha. You know.
173
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:24,164
A little less here
and then-- Okay.
174
00:07:25,968 --> 00:07:28,473
-(man chuckles)
-You were late, whoever
that was, you were late.
175
00:07:28,507 --> 00:07:30,845
-(laughter)
-Okay.
176
00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:33,951
Mm. Two weeks till regionals.
We're screwed!
177
00:07:33,984 --> 00:07:36,155
(laughter and applause)
178
00:07:36,188 --> 00:07:38,527
Yeah. Yeah.
"We don't wanna practice."
179
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,564
Well, it's gonna be
a lot of sad faces
180
00:07:40,598 --> 00:07:41,733
in the parking lot
after the tournament.
181
00:07:41,767 --> 00:07:43,804
That's all I'm gonna say.
182
00:07:43,837 --> 00:07:46,042
Wow.
183
00:07:46,075 --> 00:07:50,150
Hmm. Thank you
for... for this.
184
00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:53,824
For giving me a safe place
to heal tonight, for...
185
00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:55,528
My work is, of course,
endurance-based.
186
00:07:55,561 --> 00:07:57,532
It's kind of about
you enduring me.
187
00:07:57,565 --> 00:08:00,738
So this very...
Yeah, it just means a lot.
188
00:08:03,777 --> 00:08:04,746
(laughter)
189
00:08:04,779 --> 00:08:06,850
I am psychic, so, uh,
190
00:08:06,883 --> 00:08:09,522
is your name, like...
Christine?
191
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,225
Okay, it's fine.
Um...
192
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,564
(laughter)
193
00:08:13,597 --> 00:08:15,568
Hmm. It's fine.
194
00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:17,170
It's fine. Is there
a Christine over here?
195
00:08:17,204 --> 00:08:20,276
Just 'cause sometimes the energy
does a direct transfer.
196
00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:22,648
Is there a Christine
in this area at all?
197
00:08:22,682 --> 00:08:25,253
Christine-less. Wow.
198
00:08:25,286 --> 00:08:28,259
Well, it's bad luck.
199
00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:30,030
Corporate's not gonna
like that.
200
00:08:30,063 --> 00:08:32,267
No.
201
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:35,841
(sighs) Yeah,
I think the mirror,
202
00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:37,945
you know, it's just so
interesting to perform
203
00:08:37,979 --> 00:08:40,250
in front of a mirror
when I am a mirror for you.
204
00:08:40,283 --> 00:08:42,320
Right? For your fears,
desires, anxieties, right?
205
00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:44,124
So...
206
00:08:44,158 --> 00:08:46,028
And you're also my mirror
as the audience.
207
00:08:46,062 --> 00:08:48,232
You know, I look at you and
I'm like, "I am the messiah."
208
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,003
You know, it's very--
209
00:08:50,036 --> 00:08:51,807
Or a messiah figure,
I should say,
210
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,677
but it's-- so there's
a lot going on here.
211
00:08:53,711 --> 00:08:55,548
There's actually--
there's actually three mirrors
212
00:08:55,581 --> 00:08:57,585
in the room.
213
00:08:57,618 --> 00:08:59,756
You'll get it in a week.
Call me. Okay.
214
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,094
(laughter)
215
00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:05,300
No, but the mirror, of course,
also is the origin of narrative,
216
00:09:05,333 --> 00:09:10,043
film, the building blocks
of cinema.
217
00:09:10,076 --> 00:09:12,314
Entertainment. The origin
of entertainment right here.
218
00:09:12,347 --> 00:09:14,786
The first entertainment,
of course, the cavewoman,
219
00:09:14,819 --> 00:09:17,090
or caveperson,
looking in the river.
220
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:20,296
"Who's that? Ahh!"
Delight in one's image, eh?
221
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:23,136
Spanking the river.
222
00:09:23,169 --> 00:09:25,240
Realizing, "Ohh!"
And then-- and then the ripples.
223
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,810
Oh, frames,
frames of film, right.
224
00:09:26,843 --> 00:09:28,614
So it goes on...
225
00:09:28,647 --> 00:09:31,252
Yeah, so it's-- it's
the river, the reflection,
226
00:09:31,285 --> 00:09:34,692
and then "Cheers,"
that would be next in line.
227
00:09:36,228 --> 00:09:37,732
And then me, yeah.
228
00:09:37,765 --> 00:09:40,236
That's the evolution
of entertainment.
229
00:09:41,272 --> 00:09:42,842
I feel like
I'm neglecting this side.
230
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,244
We're-- I'm so frontal.
I'm so Western.
231
00:09:44,278 --> 00:09:45,714
I'm so American.
The front, the front, the front.
232
00:09:45,748 --> 00:09:47,618
I want to see it all!
Right?
233
00:09:47,652 --> 00:09:49,054
Instead of kind of
not America.
234
00:09:49,087 --> 00:09:51,058
Kind of other ways
to live, right?
235
00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:52,829
Kind of like getting
my hair cut at home.
236
00:09:52,862 --> 00:09:55,066
Right, things like that
that I don't explore.
237
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:57,738
I'm like, "Oh, boy.
A sale?"
238
00:09:57,772 --> 00:09:59,208
(laughter)
239
00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:02,214
(chuckles) You know?
And it's like, why?
240
00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:04,318
Why couldn't I go,
"Make it at home."
241
00:10:04,351 --> 00:10:06,288
You know, except--
but that's a side neglect.
242
00:10:06,322 --> 00:10:09,094
So it's make it at home, yeah.
243
00:10:09,128 --> 00:10:12,367
Okay. I'll work on it.
Jesus Christ.
244
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,774
I'm so sorry to try to find
something in the moment.
245
00:10:15,808 --> 00:10:18,379
I'll get-- I'll get back
to the-- the "A" material.
246
00:10:18,412 --> 00:10:21,352
Okay, ten years ago,
there's nothing, so...
247
00:10:21,385 --> 00:10:23,991
(laughter)
248
00:10:25,193 --> 00:10:27,899
I sort of just for the mo--
I kind of wanna--
249
00:10:27,932 --> 00:10:29,401
Could I have a spotlight?
250
00:10:29,434 --> 00:10:31,205
I just want to really feel
what that might be like.
251
00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:32,708
In the--
for the complete drama.
252
00:10:32,742 --> 00:10:34,278
Oh, wow.
253
00:10:34,311 --> 00:10:35,748
Can you believe that?
254
00:10:35,781 --> 00:10:37,184
How's this?
How's this?
255
00:10:37,217 --> 00:10:39,421
-Am I in it?
-(cheers and applause)
256
00:10:39,454 --> 00:10:42,728
Oh.
257
00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:44,131
It's hard to receive.
258
00:10:44,164 --> 00:10:46,736
(laughter)
259
00:10:46,770 --> 00:10:48,072
I'll be hon--
Isn't that wild?
260
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,776
Right now, being in it,
feeling it,
261
00:10:49,809 --> 00:10:51,780
it's so-- it brings
up, "Oh, no."
262
00:10:51,813 --> 00:10:53,884
You know, it does.
But I could.
263
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:56,021
I could actually go to that
place where I don't know.
264
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,059
I don't know anymore.
I don't know.
265
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,829
Actually, it feels really good.
Just, "I don't know."
266
00:10:59,863 --> 00:11:01,065
You know, it feels good
to go there,
267
00:11:01,098 --> 00:11:02,434
'cause so often you have to,
268
00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:05,006
"I have the paperwork
right here, sir."
269
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:08,179
You know, but...
but inside,
270
00:11:08,212 --> 00:11:09,983
I don't know.
271
00:11:11,485 --> 00:11:14,726
I think as women we fear
our excellence so intrinsically.
272
00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:16,730
We're taught to fear it
so early,
273
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,266
so the spotlight
to really feel th--
274
00:11:18,299 --> 00:11:20,771
I also just wonder, like,
in this light,
275
00:11:20,804 --> 00:11:22,407
are my features
too violently Hassidic,
276
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,211
or could I pass
for Italian, right?
277
00:11:24,244 --> 00:11:28,052
I wonder.
I don't know.
278
00:11:28,085 --> 00:11:30,791
I can't quite tell.
Mmm.
279
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,029
The makeup. I do--
280
00:11:33,062 --> 00:11:34,298
I believe that women
have the right
281
00:11:34,331 --> 00:11:37,003
to steal cosmetics 100%,
by the way.
282
00:11:37,037 --> 00:11:40,143
I do want to say.
Are you kidding me?
283
00:11:40,176 --> 00:11:42,347
We are forced into a system
284
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:44,886
where we have to constantly
pay for certain creams,
285
00:11:44,919 --> 00:11:46,222
powders, lotions, right?
286
00:11:46,255 --> 00:11:48,359
We have to pay
for our own subjectivity.
287
00:11:48,392 --> 00:11:52,167
And, no, you know,
if you don't...
288
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,806
if you don't have that, then
the state won't recognize you,
289
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:58,145
and you can't get a job.
Right? So...
290
00:11:58,179 --> 00:12:01,252
No, I have to contour
my nose away to get a bank loan.
291
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:03,122
I'm not-- I won't do it.
292
00:12:03,155 --> 00:12:04,525
No, well, this lipstick
tonight that I'm wearing
293
00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,730
actually is called
Scarlet Empress,
294
00:12:06,763 --> 00:12:10,236
and, yeah, so the violence
is truly never-ending, and...
295
00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,440
(laughter)
296
00:12:12,474 --> 00:12:14,512
...it cost $30.
297
00:12:14,545 --> 00:12:17,350
(mutters) If you pay
for it, right? But...
298
00:12:17,384 --> 00:12:19,121
No, and by the way,
I'm not advocating
299
00:12:19,154 --> 00:12:21,493
for stealing from small
businesses, of course not.
300
00:12:21,526 --> 00:12:23,362
I'm talking about
large corporations
301
00:12:23,396 --> 00:12:26,201
who factor theft into their
annual budget, I think, heh.
302
00:12:26,235 --> 00:12:28,807
But... but have fun.
303
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:32,447
If you can safely do it,
have fun. Okay.
304
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,251
Mmm.
305
00:12:34,284 --> 00:12:35,888
I was on my way
to what I knew
306
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,027
would be
a disappointing massage...
307
00:12:39,061 --> 00:12:40,965
(exhales deeply)
308
00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:43,202
...and I realized I--
I do think
309
00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:44,906
I'll see a woman
become president
310
00:12:44,939 --> 00:12:46,475
in my lifetime.
I do, and--
311
00:12:46,509 --> 00:12:48,045
No, I think it's cool
you're not clapping, though.
312
00:12:48,079 --> 00:12:49,214
I think that's cool.
Um...
313
00:12:49,247 --> 00:12:50,851
No, it's chic, you know.
314
00:12:50,884 --> 00:12:52,855
It's not condescending.
You're not like...
315
00:12:52,888 --> 00:12:54,926
"Who run the world?
Girls!"
316
00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:56,261
No, it's just very real.
317
00:12:56,295 --> 00:12:58,867
You're like, "No, we--
It's time, and...
318
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,203
we anticipate that."
(chuckles)
319
00:13:00,236 --> 00:13:03,209
So... I do think I'll see it.
320
00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,113
But-- but I will say,
I think for America
321
00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:06,382
to elect a woman
as a president,
322
00:13:06,415 --> 00:13:08,185
she's either gonna
have to be
323
00:13:08,219 --> 00:13:11,960
so hypersexualized,
like pornographically feminized
324
00:13:11,993 --> 00:13:14,097
to the point that she wins
and immediately is like,
325
00:13:14,131 --> 00:13:17,337
"Oh, no!
326
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:20,410
Oh, no!"
327
00:13:20,443 --> 00:13:22,882
Gets into the Oval Office,
is like dropping stuff.
328
00:13:22,915 --> 00:13:26,255
Like, "I'm such a slut.
I'm sorry.
329
00:13:26,288 --> 00:13:28,560
(childlike voice)
I'm sorry."
330
00:13:28,593 --> 00:13:32,501
Or-- or she'll have to be
so radically desexualized
331
00:13:32,535 --> 00:13:34,939
that she's truly just
a fridge on one wheel
332
00:13:34,972 --> 00:13:37,077
with a single eye, like...
333
00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:40,049
(laughter)
334
00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:42,454
That's it!
335
00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:46,963
I just-- I don't see America
electing just a woman.
336
00:13:46,997 --> 00:13:48,600
Just a woman in pants
who's like,
337
00:13:48,633 --> 00:13:50,838
"I believe people have the right
to live with dignity."
338
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,242
No.
339
00:13:53,275 --> 00:13:54,979
I don't see it.
So, yeah, to recap,
340
00:13:55,013 --> 00:13:57,518
it's either hypersexualization
or desexualization
341
00:13:57,551 --> 00:14:00,256
to the point of being artillery,
just so it's clear.
342
00:14:00,289 --> 00:14:02,495
Oh, and I want to be clear.
Like, I want the fridge.
343
00:14:02,528 --> 00:14:06,536
Like, please,
I'm dying for the fridge.
344
00:14:06,569 --> 00:14:08,907
(sighs heavily)
345
00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:11,111
I go to museums.
346
00:14:11,145 --> 00:14:14,251
-Nothing? Okay, and...
-(laughter)
347
00:14:14,284 --> 00:14:16,221
I'll just take an afternoon,
like absolutely.
348
00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,359
Oh, mys-- Yeah, no,
I'll go and-- to get inspired
349
00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:21,933
and to meet men,
and I'll...
350
00:14:21,966 --> 00:14:24,304
I always feel like I have
this direct connection
351
00:14:24,337 --> 00:14:26,208
to kind of almost
a past self.
352
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,345
Like, I'll look-- I always
find myself wandering the halls
353
00:14:28,379 --> 00:14:30,116
of the-- the rococo paintings
354
00:14:30,149 --> 00:14:31,586
and the--
and the Renaissance,
355
00:14:31,619 --> 00:14:34,091
and there's always
this incredible cornucap--
356
00:14:34,124 --> 00:14:36,496
(laughter)
357
00:14:36,529 --> 00:14:38,165
I'll walk you though
what happened.
358
00:14:38,199 --> 00:14:40,203
I meant to say cornucopia.
Co-co-co!
359
00:14:40,236 --> 00:14:43,275
And I said ca-ca-ca.
"Cornuca-- Cornucapia?
360
00:14:43,309 --> 00:14:46,482
Never heard of it, Kate.
The show's over, okay?"
361
00:14:46,516 --> 00:14:48,052
And that's--
that's a professional.
362
00:14:48,085 --> 00:14:49,387
'Cause someone else,
"cornucapia,"
363
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,425
they'd never notice, uhh!
But me-- Cor--
364
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,262
I-- one-- one little
mistake like that,
365
00:14:53,295 --> 00:14:54,632
I'm not kidding,
we'll go from the top.
366
00:14:54,665 --> 00:14:56,268
I'll start this puppy over.
I will.
367
00:14:56,301 --> 00:14:57,638
(laughter)
368
00:14:57,671 --> 00:14:59,976
Okay, so the museum stuff,
I'm gonna do it.
369
00:15:00,009 --> 00:15:03,550
You'll see, it's not worth it,
but, um...
370
00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:06,321
(chuckles)
371
00:15:06,355 --> 00:15:08,225
I'm doing it!
372
00:15:08,259 --> 00:15:10,631
Okay, so sometimes,
you'll be at the museum
373
00:15:10,664 --> 00:15:12,668
and I'll see--
I will see these paintings
374
00:15:12,701 --> 00:15:15,440
of these sort of
beautiful cornucopias,
375
00:15:15,473 --> 00:15:17,277
and, uh, there's
a slaughtered rabbit,
376
00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:19,014
right, and the orange peel.
377
00:15:19,047 --> 00:15:20,584
You know what it's like.
You're a cultured group.
378
00:15:20,617 --> 00:15:22,721
And there's--
there's always a wench
379
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,326
just hovering just over
the cornucopia like...
380
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,996
(laughter)
381
00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:28,299
It's me, it's me.
382
00:15:28,332 --> 00:15:29,535
And also, I will say
383
00:15:29,569 --> 00:15:31,171
I can very easily become male,
384
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:33,476
kind of look like the, um,
the court jester,
385
00:15:33,510 --> 00:15:35,012
you know,
with the pan flute, like...
386
00:15:35,046 --> 00:15:36,516
(laughter)
387
00:15:36,549 --> 00:15:39,121
You know, that's...
388
00:15:39,154 --> 00:15:42,495
I'm eternal... is, I guess,
what I'm trying to say.
389
00:15:42,528 --> 00:15:44,499
I'm not really
the-- the girl next-door.
390
00:15:44,532 --> 00:15:48,339
I'm the door!
(chuckles)
391
00:15:48,372 --> 00:15:50,644
(sighs)
392
00:15:50,677 --> 00:15:53,382
I don't know if anything's
ever happened to anyone here.
393
00:15:53,415 --> 00:15:56,556
-Um...
-(laughter)
394
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,960
I don't want to assume, right,
but I will say
395
00:15:58,994 --> 00:16:02,233
growing up in my family,
we didn't have wheat.
396
00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:06,308
Um... but we had each other.
397
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,412
Oh, we had the hope for wheat,
398
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,051
so, in a way, it's almost
like we had...
399
00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:12,253
[audience] Wheat!
400
00:16:12,287 --> 00:16:14,725
Love this crowd!
Thank you.
401
00:16:14,759 --> 00:16:17,230
To feel so bolstered,
so supported in that moment
402
00:16:17,263 --> 00:16:19,000
was something I haven't felt
in a really long time.
403
00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:21,271
Oh, ah! But...
404
00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:23,209
I was in here before
all of you came,
405
00:16:23,242 --> 00:16:26,148
just waxing the floors,
406
00:16:26,181 --> 00:16:28,052
getting everything just so.
407
00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:30,156
I did found this theater.
408
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,559
I founded the theater,
409
00:16:31,593 --> 00:16:34,499
and founded theater
in general, or...
410
00:16:34,532 --> 00:16:36,301
at least am seen
as responsible
411
00:16:36,335 --> 00:16:38,405
with bringing theater
to the West, but...
412
00:16:38,439 --> 00:16:41,044
"Jokes Aside," which is
the name of my book, but, oh...
413
00:16:41,078 --> 00:16:44,685
I... I was in here alone,
414
00:16:44,719 --> 00:16:47,457
and as women we're socialized
against seeing solitude
415
00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:48,760
as a space of productivity--
416
00:16:48,793 --> 00:16:50,597
write it down
if you have to--
417
00:16:50,631 --> 00:16:54,070
and so in doing that, I was
like, "That's activism."
418
00:16:54,104 --> 00:16:55,607
Right, that's it's right there.
419
00:16:55,641 --> 00:16:57,110
Right, so why even go on stage
and do the work?
420
00:16:57,143 --> 00:16:59,682
It's almost redundant.
But...
421
00:16:59,715 --> 00:17:02,086
While I'm here, can someone
just give me an emotion?
422
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,723
I want to continue to act.
423
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,426
-[voice] Anger.
-Anger.
424
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,332
Anger I think for me
is really just...
425
00:17:10,269 --> 00:17:11,806
(laughter and applause)
426
00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:13,543
Can I have--
Can I have another?
427
00:17:13,577 --> 00:17:15,681
We're not done.
Can I have another?
428
00:17:15,714 --> 00:17:17,183
-[man] Acting nervous.
-[woman] Fear.
429
00:17:17,217 --> 00:17:19,522
Oh, whoa. Fear.
430
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:22,728
-(laughter)
-Well...
431
00:17:22,761 --> 00:17:25,099
One more, 'cause you're
begging for it.
432
00:17:25,132 --> 00:17:26,536
-One more.
-[woman] Thrill.
433
00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:28,205
Thrill.
No, I like that, thrill.
434
00:17:28,239 --> 00:17:31,345
Thrill is really just in
the most simple form...
435
00:17:31,378 --> 00:17:32,848
(laughter)
436
00:17:32,881 --> 00:17:35,353
Right? Because we actually
hide what we feel.
437
00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:37,691
We don't show
what we're feeling, right?
438
00:17:37,725 --> 00:17:39,662
An amateur would
get up here and say,
439
00:17:39,695 --> 00:17:42,501
"Oh, fear? Oh, no!"
440
00:17:42,534 --> 00:17:44,337
Right? But no.
When you're actually afraid,
441
00:17:44,371 --> 00:17:45,807
you're like,
"I'm not scared," you know.
442
00:17:45,841 --> 00:17:47,477
"Don't-- don't let him see."
Right?
443
00:17:47,511 --> 00:17:50,449
So that's...
that's what that is.
444
00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:52,253
Cool. Whew.
A lot came up for that.
445
00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:54,157
That was actually good.
I could actually feel myself
446
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:55,494
locking in there.
447
00:17:55,527 --> 00:17:57,297
Somatically, I was like,
"This is acting."
448
00:17:57,330 --> 00:18:00,169
So... that was
absolutely helpful.
449
00:18:00,202 --> 00:18:02,574
While I'm in the spotlight,
hit the track.
450
00:18:02,608 --> 00:18:04,377
Can you imagine?
There's nothing, but...
451
00:18:04,411 --> 00:18:07,350
(laughter and applause)
452
00:18:07,383 --> 00:18:10,791
I wish.
Give me a couple years.
453
00:18:10,824 --> 00:18:13,162
No more spotlight!
Okay, I'm over it, actually.
454
00:18:13,195 --> 00:18:14,632
Can we get out?
Thank you.
455
00:18:14,665 --> 00:18:18,405
I could call back, but--
Oh, they want more?
456
00:18:18,439 --> 00:18:20,309
Whatever they need. Whatever
the camera needs, right?
457
00:18:20,343 --> 00:18:23,717
Oh. Cameras,
cameras, everywhere.
458
00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:27,758
Cameras, cameras,
don't you dare.
459
00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:29,762
You see me, but I see you.
460
00:18:29,795 --> 00:18:32,635
You say yes, I and say...
461
00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:34,538
Ugh, couldn't rhyme.
462
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:35,774
(laughter)
463
00:18:35,807 --> 00:18:37,276
I'm just checking in.
464
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:39,582
I love you.
Okay, great.
465
00:18:39,615 --> 00:18:41,519
It is helpful just
to have that anchor.
466
00:18:41,552 --> 00:18:43,355
To have an anchor.
467
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,825
Here, I would almost just
almost end the sentence there.
468
00:18:44,859 --> 00:18:46,863
To have an anchor. Wow.
469
00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:52,206
Only because
I'm really feeling it,
470
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,647
did someone... yeah.
471
00:18:55,681 --> 00:18:57,851
Okay, did someone over here
recently move?
472
00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:59,454
And I'm seeing Wisconsin.
I'm real--
473
00:18:59,487 --> 00:19:01,391
Wisconsin's being highlighted.
474
00:19:01,425 --> 00:19:03,162
Is anyone in this area
from Wisconsin
475
00:19:03,195 --> 00:19:05,734
or have any relationship
to it?
476
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:08,640
-Wisconsin!
-(laughter)
477
00:19:08,673 --> 00:19:10,711
Okay, um...
478
00:19:10,744 --> 00:19:12,447
(scattered laughter)
479
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,486
Michigan.
480
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,723
Did anyone here move recently?
481
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,194
By the way, I'm fine.
482
00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:20,664
(laughter)
483
00:19:20,697 --> 00:19:22,668
I need you, I need you,
I need you.
484
00:19:22,701 --> 00:19:26,609
Relax. I need you supine.
I need you trusting. Okay?
485
00:19:26,642 --> 00:19:29,682
I do this at the boardwalk
every Sunday, okay?
486
00:19:29,715 --> 00:19:31,853
I'm fine.
487
00:19:31,886 --> 00:19:36,228
(laughter)
488
00:19:36,261 --> 00:19:38,933
Now back to Wisconsin.
489
00:19:38,967 --> 00:19:41,405
No, that's fine. It's--
It might be somewhere else.
490
00:19:41,438 --> 00:19:42,775
-It's called an energy flare.
-(man whistles)
491
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,377
Oh, Wisconsin?
492
00:19:44,411 --> 00:19:45,479
Oh, thank you, great.
Thank you so much.
493
00:19:45,514 --> 00:19:47,250
See? So, I'm right. Yeah.
494
00:19:47,283 --> 00:19:48,887
(laughter)
495
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,456
You recently moved?
496
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,630
Yeah, silent.
I like that, okay.
497
00:19:53,663 --> 00:19:55,166
(chuckles)
498
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,811
I'm seeing an injury.
499
00:20:00,844 --> 00:20:03,348
Not like I--
It's-- It's healed.
500
00:20:03,382 --> 00:20:04,819
But did someone here
have like a left--
501
00:20:04,852 --> 00:20:06,522
Is it their left angle-- ankle.
502
00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:08,693
Left angle?
Cool, we're going from the top!
503
00:20:08,727 --> 00:20:10,764
I'm not kidding!
504
00:20:10,797 --> 00:20:13,202
I said angle
instead of ankle.
505
00:20:14,972 --> 00:20:18,312
Unprofession-- Oh, my God!
That's radical.
506
00:20:18,345 --> 00:20:19,982
See, this actually
looks like a plant.
507
00:20:20,015 --> 00:20:22,554
This is actually--
No, this is unfortunate,
508
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:23,857
'cause this looks fake.
509
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,459
(laughter)
510
00:20:25,494 --> 00:20:27,330
I'll only ask this.
Is it your left side?
511
00:20:27,363 --> 00:20:30,504
[woman #1] Yeah.
-(cheers and laughter)
512
00:20:36,415 --> 00:20:39,889
I can do more of like a--
of a clear landing just for--
513
00:20:39,922 --> 00:20:42,661
-Yeah, good.
-(applause)
514
00:20:42,694 --> 00:20:43,897
(audience member hoots)
515
00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:46,334
(exhales) God, it feels good.
516
00:20:46,368 --> 00:20:49,374
(laughter)
517
00:20:49,407 --> 00:20:51,378
First of all, I'm sorry.
518
00:20:51,411 --> 00:20:54,317
(laughs)
519
00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:55,687
Hey, hey, hey.
Your h--
520
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,562
It goes your health,
my show.
521
00:20:59,595 --> 00:21:00,730
Yeah.
522
00:21:02,534 --> 00:21:04,738
Is it-- is it a--
is it a break?
523
00:21:04,772 --> 00:21:05,907
-It's a sprain.
-A sprain.
524
00:21:05,941 --> 00:21:07,578
And it is my ankle.
525
00:21:07,611 --> 00:21:10,316
Yeah, so ooh!
526
00:21:10,349 --> 00:21:14,492
Oh, you didn't think I was
really psychic, huh?
527
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:16,829
Left ankle sprain.
(chuckles)
528
00:21:19,434 --> 00:21:22,340
Was it-- I'm getting the sense
that it was not sports-related.
529
00:21:22,373 --> 00:21:23,977
Um, it-- it was, but--
530
00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:26,549
Well, I mean, it always is,
like in the sense
531
00:21:26,582 --> 00:21:29,955
that you are in sport, that your
body is in motion, but, yeah.
532
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,528
-I'm not a sporty person, so...
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
533
00:21:32,561 --> 00:21:34,532
Were you--
what were you playing?
534
00:21:34,565 --> 00:21:36,636
I was in a spin class.
535
00:21:37,638 --> 00:21:40,075
Let this be a lesson.
536
00:21:40,109 --> 00:21:42,581
They will take your money...
537
00:21:42,614 --> 00:21:45,520
they will ruin your family
and your reputation,
538
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,958
and they'll send you
on your way.
539
00:21:50,964 --> 00:21:52,400
Were you downtown?
540
00:21:52,433 --> 00:21:53,870
I was in Eagle Rock.
541
00:21:53,903 --> 00:21:55,406
So, yeah.
542
00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:58,646
(laughter)
543
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,652
I've always said, like,
downtown is up here.
544
00:22:01,686 --> 00:22:03,422
(chuckles) You know?
545
00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:06,529
Like, you'll notice
right now I'm downtown.
546
00:22:06,562 --> 00:22:08,900
I'm downtown.
547
00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:11,371
And for me,
even when I'm uptown...
548
00:22:11,404 --> 00:22:12,574
Oh, no, no!
549
00:22:14,477 --> 00:22:17,518
Oh-- Whoa, I almost tripped,
and no one came to help, whoa!
550
00:22:17,551 --> 00:22:19,053
That actually was scary.
There was a quick moment,
551
00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:21,391
and then-- and not--
to not even feel a hand come up.
552
00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:22,928
"Let me help you.
You're just here to--
553
00:22:22,961 --> 00:22:24,464
"You're just trying
to make me laugh.
554
00:22:24,498 --> 00:22:25,767
Let me help you
if you fall." Right?
555
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,071
But instead,
"Work, work, work!"
556
00:22:28,105 --> 00:22:29,842
I guess I am alone up here.
It's good-- No.
557
00:22:29,875 --> 00:22:33,081
Thank you for reminding me.
Very good, very good.
558
00:22:33,115 --> 00:22:37,156
The wire, of course, kind of
representing media, I think.
559
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,993
The way it's snaking around me.
560
00:22:39,027 --> 00:22:41,131
The way media literally
cannibalizes the female form.
561
00:22:41,164 --> 00:22:43,135
Right, you'll notice
how it's snaking around.
562
00:22:43,168 --> 00:22:45,540
"Sure, tell your story...
(deep voice) but on my terms."
563
00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:49,047
-You know, it's very...
-(laughter)
564
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,786
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
40 minutes right here.
565
00:22:51,819 --> 00:22:53,088
Can you believe this doesn't
affect the sound?
566
00:22:53,121 --> 00:22:54,658
Can you believe that?
This really is--
567
00:22:54,692 --> 00:22:56,127
This is engineering.
568
00:22:56,161 --> 00:22:58,432
This is-- this is
why we go to war
569
00:22:58,465 --> 00:23:00,035
is to protect this.
I want to fight for this.
570
00:23:00,069 --> 00:23:03,610
I want to fight
for my country with this, okay.
571
00:23:03,643 --> 00:23:07,517
Back to the ankle injury.
572
00:23:07,551 --> 00:23:09,053
-Is your name Rachel?
-No.
573
00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:13,630
Can you imagine that?
I would've been, "Whoo!"
574
00:23:13,663 --> 00:23:17,771
Do you have... a dog.
575
00:23:17,804 --> 00:23:19,642
No, I want a dog, though.
576
00:23:19,675 --> 00:23:21,444
That's what I'm picking up on,
the urge.
577
00:23:21,478 --> 00:23:23,482
(laughter)
578
00:23:23,516 --> 00:23:25,854
Last thing I'll say or not,
it's my show.
579
00:23:25,887 --> 00:23:27,390
Um...
580
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,199
Do you have-- I'm seeing
sisters. Do you have sisters?
581
00:23:32,233 --> 00:23:33,903
I have a younger sister.
582
00:23:33,937 --> 00:23:35,740
Yeah, so you're
the second sister.
583
00:23:35,774 --> 00:23:37,711
So I'm seeing sisters,
and it's you.
584
00:23:37,744 --> 00:23:40,015
You have-- It's you
and your younger sister.
585
00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:45,694
I'm actually an only child.
586
00:23:45,727 --> 00:23:47,731
(laughter)
587
00:23:47,764 --> 00:23:50,737
Go ahead, laugh.
You've got one.
588
00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:53,843
Never seen one up close, huh?
Go ahead.
589
00:23:53,876 --> 00:23:55,647
For those of you who don't know,
an only child
590
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,450
is somebody with no brothers,
591
00:23:57,483 --> 00:23:59,588
and you guessed it,
no sisters.
592
00:23:59,622 --> 00:24:02,861
(laughter)
593
00:24:02,894 --> 00:24:04,932
(sighs deeply)
594
00:24:04,965 --> 00:24:06,769
It used to make me sad
as a child,
595
00:24:06,802 --> 00:24:08,640
but now I realize
it's actually a gift,
596
00:24:08,673 --> 00:24:10,644
because I don't have to live
under the crushing weight
597
00:24:10,677 --> 00:24:12,981
of the sexual tension
that I know exists
598
00:24:13,015 --> 00:24:15,654
among all siblings, yeah.
599
00:24:15,687 --> 00:24:17,256
That's what I like
when see people full,
600
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,860
"Oh, God, the truth!"
They're crossing in.
601
00:24:18,893 --> 00:24:20,864
That's what I like to see.
602
00:24:20,897 --> 00:24:23,503
And by the way, that's okay.
You're normal, okay?
603
00:24:23,536 --> 00:24:26,074
Any institution that's like,
"Sex doesn't exist here,"
604
00:24:26,107 --> 00:24:28,011
it's 'cause it does.
605
00:24:28,045 --> 00:24:29,715
And I'll just say,
like if I had a brother,
606
00:24:29,748 --> 00:24:31,184
forget about it, okay?
607
00:24:31,217 --> 00:24:34,925
-(laughter and applause)
-Forget... about... it.
608
00:24:34,958 --> 00:24:38,533
(chuckles)
Cannot imagine.
609
00:24:38,566 --> 00:24:41,271
Sneaking a glimpse of him
in his boxers at dawn, like...
610
00:24:41,304 --> 00:24:42,874
(laughter)
611
00:24:42,908 --> 00:24:46,782
Before school. Heh!
612
00:24:46,816 --> 00:24:49,521
Long family car trips,
no one else to talk to.
613
00:24:49,555 --> 00:24:51,792
Fall in love like that, okay?
614
00:24:51,826 --> 00:24:53,663
It's easy.
It's easy.
615
00:24:53,696 --> 00:24:56,769
Getting picked up, being like,
"Oh, Josh, put me down!
616
00:24:56,802 --> 00:24:59,073
"Stop!
617
00:24:59,107 --> 00:25:01,512
"Ugh! You ripped my shirt.
Yeah, I need yours.
618
00:25:01,545 --> 00:25:03,115
What else am I gonna wear
to Easter brunch?"
619
00:25:05,085 --> 00:25:06,922
"Mom and Dad aren't gonna be
home for like an hour.
620
00:25:06,956 --> 00:25:09,862
"Just give me your shirt.
621
00:25:09,895 --> 00:25:11,131
Ugh!"
622
00:25:12,934 --> 00:25:15,774
I'm jealous.
623
00:25:15,807 --> 00:25:18,211
(chuckles)
624
00:25:18,245 --> 00:25:19,915
My, bring up some stuff--
and by the way,
625
00:25:19,948 --> 00:25:21,284
if you're uncomfortable,
if you feel that,
626
00:25:21,317 --> 00:25:23,856
know that
that's for a reason, right?
627
00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,127
That's why-- that's why
they won't air this show live.
628
00:25:26,161 --> 00:25:29,635
They won't stream this
on the radio right now.
629
00:25:29,668 --> 00:25:31,071
And why do you think?
'Cause people will be driving.
630
00:25:31,104 --> 00:25:32,741
"Oh, here's my light."
They hear my voice.
631
00:25:32,774 --> 00:25:34,277
"I have a choice in life?"
Veer off the road.
632
00:25:34,310 --> 00:25:38,786
(laughter)
633
00:25:38,820 --> 00:25:40,557
A lot's at risk. Heh!
634
00:25:40,590 --> 00:25:43,930
There are cameras,
but also... there are cameras.
635
00:25:43,963 --> 00:25:46,669
(laughter)
636
00:25:47,871 --> 00:25:49,608
They're watching.
637
00:25:55,018 --> 00:25:57,323
I am always pretty sure I'm
being surveilled in bathrooms,
638
00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,995
so I will just be like,
"I know!"
639
00:26:00,028 --> 00:26:02,834
(laughter)
640
00:26:02,868 --> 00:26:04,772
It helps, 'cause I want
the person surveilling me
641
00:26:04,805 --> 00:26:06,609
to be like, "She sees!"
642
00:26:06,642 --> 00:26:09,180
You know, I want--
I want to feel that.
643
00:26:09,213 --> 00:26:10,950
I want to feel it.
644
00:26:10,984 --> 00:26:12,821
I want to feel that.
If that-- it that's a crime,
645
00:26:12,854 --> 00:26:14,958
then take me back
to the bishop's ranch.
646
00:26:14,992 --> 00:26:16,261
(laughter)
647
00:26:16,294 --> 00:26:18,031
(chuckles)
648
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:22,306
Ohh! I want to go back
to the bishop's ranch.
649
00:26:25,179 --> 00:26:27,283
Huge theme emerging about
the bishop's ranch.
650
00:26:27,316 --> 00:26:29,020
Um...
651
00:26:29,053 --> 00:26:32,026
Incredible to feel that,
and then touch it
652
00:26:32,059 --> 00:26:34,230
with that authentically and to
know that's where I belong.
653
00:26:34,263 --> 00:26:36,134
It's something that
I couldn't have planned,
654
00:26:36,167 --> 00:26:38,706
and that's why I'm so excited
to actually present to you,
655
00:26:38,739 --> 00:26:40,944
we have the bishop.
Come on out!
656
00:26:40,977 --> 00:26:43,749
(laughter)
657
00:26:43,783 --> 00:26:45,052
Yeah.
658
00:26:45,085 --> 00:26:47,056
In editing, that'll be...
(whispers) huge.
659
00:26:47,089 --> 00:26:49,862
(chuckles) 'Cause we're
gonna CGI the bishop,
660
00:26:49,895 --> 00:26:51,632
and "Oh, my God!"
The people at home? "Oh-ho-ho!"
661
00:26:51,665 --> 00:26:55,172
Yeah. Sorry.
I want money, okay?
662
00:26:55,205 --> 00:26:57,944
And people love the bishop.
Okay, okay!
663
00:26:57,978 --> 00:27:00,282
Wrap it up.
(pops tongue) Okay.
664
00:27:00,315 --> 00:27:01,685
Ohh!
665
00:27:04,858 --> 00:27:06,094
(Kate sighs)
666
00:27:06,127 --> 00:27:09,400
I'll say therapy,
get in it now, you know?
667
00:27:09,433 --> 00:27:11,237
Is my therapist here?
Christina?
668
00:27:11,271 --> 00:27:13,275
(laughter)
669
00:27:13,308 --> 00:27:15,980
'Cause you never know.
Okay, wow.
670
00:27:16,014 --> 00:27:17,951
So you're not curious
what I do.
671
00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:20,088
Yeah, I was just like,
okay, okay.
672
00:27:22,259 --> 00:27:24,765
When people say they're
not in therapy, I'm like...
673
00:27:24,798 --> 00:27:26,367
you can't do
karaoke forever.
674
00:27:26,401 --> 00:27:29,106
You know, you have to--
675
00:27:29,140 --> 00:27:31,411
Oh, no.
676
00:27:31,444 --> 00:27:34,718
Your friends and family see
what karaoke has become for you.
677
00:27:34,751 --> 00:27:35,987
So...
678
00:27:36,020 --> 00:27:37,189
(laughter)
679
00:27:37,223 --> 00:27:39,360
Uh, sex.
680
00:27:39,393 --> 00:27:42,099
Um...
681
00:27:42,132 --> 00:27:46,241
I don't know.
I'm not convinced.
682
00:27:46,274 --> 00:27:48,378
I'd say.
Like, does it even
683
00:27:48,411 --> 00:27:50,282
have the power
to transform the day?
684
00:27:50,315 --> 00:27:52,286
I don't know.
I just--
685
00:27:52,319 --> 00:27:54,023
Not to brag,
but I probably had
686
00:27:54,056 --> 00:27:55,259
the best sex
of my life recently,
687
00:27:55,292 --> 00:27:56,862
and like an hour
and a half later
688
00:27:56,896 --> 00:27:58,766
I was furious
at Bank of America.
689
00:27:58,799 --> 00:28:00,335
Like I don't...
690
00:28:00,369 --> 00:28:03,743
Even the day, you know,
couldn't be changed, so...
691
00:28:03,776 --> 00:28:06,916
And I also, I do not
appreciate the myth
692
00:28:06,949 --> 00:28:08,886
brutally propagated by media
693
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,455
that sex is the one time
in your life
694
00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:11,792
where you're able
to finally shed
695
00:28:11,825 --> 00:28:12,928
the prison of your personality.
696
00:28:12,961 --> 00:28:14,130
That that's when your mask
697
00:28:14,163 --> 00:28:16,000
finally drops.
698
00:28:16,034 --> 00:28:18,773
I find that during sex
my mask has never been tighter.
699
00:28:18,806 --> 00:28:21,812
Like it's absolutely...
700
00:28:21,845 --> 00:28:24,150
And trust me, I've tried
to like-- (grunts)
701
00:28:24,183 --> 00:28:25,219
You know?
702
00:28:25,252 --> 00:28:27,056
(laughter)
703
00:28:27,089 --> 00:28:29,193
You know, I've tried, but it's
never so much as slipped.
704
00:28:29,227 --> 00:28:32,366
I mean, it's really... Ugh.
705
00:28:32,399 --> 00:28:35,339
I actually think
that the only time
706
00:28:35,372 --> 00:28:37,510
that we're truly released from
the prison of our personality,
707
00:28:37,544 --> 00:28:39,848
the only time
that our mask actually drops,
708
00:28:39,881 --> 00:28:43,789
is when we barf.
I really think that's it.
709
00:28:43,823 --> 00:28:45,894
'Cause just the rawness,
the animalism,
710
00:28:45,927 --> 00:28:47,964
that's the only time
in your life
711
00:28:47,998 --> 00:28:50,937
when your-- your taste in art,
your funny outgoing voicemail,
712
00:28:50,970 --> 00:28:52,807
right, your grant money,
is irrelevant.
713
00:28:52,841 --> 00:28:55,479
It's not there.
It's just about that.
714
00:28:55,513 --> 00:28:57,517
(laughter)
715
00:28:57,550 --> 00:28:59,453
It's also the only time
in modern life
716
00:28:59,487 --> 00:29:01,090
when you aren't being
advertised to.
717
00:29:01,124 --> 00:29:03,094
That's it.
718
00:29:03,128 --> 00:29:04,531
And trust me,
they'll find a way.
719
00:29:04,564 --> 00:29:07,202
Oh, they'll get in there.
720
00:29:07,236 --> 00:29:09,942
They'll get in your toilet
if they have to.
721
00:29:09,975 --> 00:29:12,112
(laughter)
722
00:29:14,317 --> 00:29:17,222
Hmm. Oh, I love your laughs.
Ohh, I love this moment!
723
00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:19,460
Ohh!
724
00:29:19,494 --> 00:29:20,997
Really, though, when I hear--
I hear kids.
725
00:29:21,030 --> 00:29:22,801
I hear little kids
going, "Where's my dad?"
726
00:29:22,834 --> 00:29:24,070
Right, I mean...
727
00:29:25,238 --> 00:29:26,842
Really, though. Sometimes
I'm up here and I'm like,
728
00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:29,447
"Where are our dads?"
Like, this is crazy.
729
00:29:31,117 --> 00:29:34,524
Did you know that
you're born with your eggs?
730
00:29:34,558 --> 00:29:35,960
I'll go back.
731
00:29:35,994 --> 00:29:37,329
If you're...
732
00:29:40,002 --> 00:29:43,241
If you're someone who has eggs,
you're born with them.
733
00:29:43,274 --> 00:29:45,012
It's not like they developed
during puberty.
734
00:29:45,045 --> 00:29:46,982
Can anyone confirm?
This really blew my mind.
735
00:29:47,016 --> 00:29:48,519
Yeah. So what does this mean?
736
00:29:48,552 --> 00:29:50,857
This means that your mother,
the day she was born,
737
00:29:50,890 --> 00:29:52,459
you were already inside her.
738
00:29:52,494 --> 00:29:54,096
The potential for you
was already there.
739
00:29:54,130 --> 00:29:55,500
Can you go that far? Yeah.
740
00:29:55,533 --> 00:29:57,036
Crying, crying, crying,
crying, crying.
741
00:29:57,069 --> 00:29:59,373
Okay.
742
00:29:59,407 --> 00:30:01,512
So, what I'm trying to say is,
743
00:30:01,545 --> 00:30:03,883
we've all been marinating
in our mother's rage
744
00:30:03,916 --> 00:30:06,387
since the day she was born,
745
00:30:06,421 --> 00:30:08,325
and then her mother's rage,
and her mother, her mother,
746
00:30:08,358 --> 00:30:09,594
on and on, okay?
747
00:30:09,628 --> 00:30:11,464
We're all stewing in the rage
748
00:30:11,498 --> 00:30:13,134
of all the women
who've come before us.
749
00:30:13,168 --> 00:30:16,608
It's an intergenerational
tajine of rage.
750
00:30:16,642 --> 00:30:18,445
And it's deserved,
I want to say that,
751
00:30:18,478 --> 00:30:20,015
but it's been
very helpful for me
752
00:30:20,048 --> 00:30:21,585
because I'll be
going about my day,
753
00:30:21,618 --> 00:30:23,288
everything's fine,
and then out of nowhere
754
00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:26,060
I'm like, "I'm gonna
break glass," you know?
755
00:30:26,094 --> 00:30:28,131
And I-- I'm like, where does
that anger come from?
756
00:30:28,164 --> 00:30:29,433
It doesn't feel like
it belongs to me,
757
00:30:29,467 --> 00:30:30,536
and it's been
very helpful to be like,
758
00:30:30,570 --> 00:30:31,905
it's actually maybe not mine.
759
00:30:31,939 --> 00:30:33,174
It's my grandmother
in Spain,
760
00:30:33,208 --> 00:30:34,276
like, "Aah!"
761
00:30:34,310 --> 00:30:35,880
You know, that's...
762
00:30:37,584 --> 00:30:39,020
That's who it belongs to.
763
00:30:39,053 --> 00:30:40,322
So release.
Release thyself.
764
00:30:40,355 --> 00:30:42,292
And, you know, honor it,
but push through.
765
00:30:42,326 --> 00:30:44,498
I actually don't
have kids yet,
766
00:30:44,531 --> 00:30:46,034
but my daughter right now
is like,
767
00:30:46,067 --> 00:30:49,340
"Mom, what are you doing
up there?
768
00:30:49,373 --> 00:30:50,576
I can feel it."
769
00:30:50,610 --> 00:30:52,312
"Love you, sweetie.
770
00:30:52,346 --> 00:30:55,452
Maybe we'll watch this together
one day with Dad."
771
00:30:55,485 --> 00:30:58,959
(laughter)
772
00:30:58,993 --> 00:31:00,295
You probably have read
in the news
773
00:31:00,328 --> 00:31:02,066
that I've been tucking in
my blouses more.
774
00:31:02,099 --> 00:31:03,636
(laughter)
775
00:31:03,669 --> 00:31:05,606
Sss...
776
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,577
And it does feel good.
It makes me feel very together.
777
00:31:07,610 --> 00:31:09,447
Like I tuck in, and immediately
I really do feel
778
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,618
like I have children,
like I just completely--
779
00:31:11,652 --> 00:31:14,256
I feel effective. I'm like,
yes, absolutely, right here.
780
00:31:14,290 --> 00:31:16,394
I have everything I need.
781
00:31:16,427 --> 00:31:18,666
Immediately leaving the house
with the blouse tucked in,
782
00:31:18,699 --> 00:31:20,402
I'm like there's
all these kids that are like,
783
00:31:20,435 --> 00:31:22,607
"Okay, come on.
We gotta go.
784
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,477
"We gotta go.
We're gonna get in the car.
785
00:31:24,511 --> 00:31:26,347
"Can you tell me in the car?
Can you tell me in the car?
786
00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:28,418
"Okay, great.
787
00:31:28,451 --> 00:31:31,357
Yeah?"
It's my husband.
788
00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:34,965
"Uh... okay. I could've used
that information earlier,
789
00:31:34,998 --> 00:31:36,334
I'll be honest, yeah."
790
00:31:36,367 --> 00:31:39,140
(laughter)
791
00:31:39,173 --> 00:31:41,678
"How can I do that now?
Uh, I'm just really asking.
792
00:31:41,712 --> 00:31:42,947
How can I do that now?"
793
00:31:42,981 --> 00:31:45,285
(laughter)
794
00:31:45,318 --> 00:31:48,258
"No, no, I asked you,
and-- and I remember
795
00:31:48,291 --> 00:31:51,164
"'cause I asked you yesterday.
796
00:31:51,197 --> 00:31:52,634
"No, I know that you said no,
but now you're saying yes.
797
00:31:52,667 --> 00:31:54,136
"Okay, yeah, okay.
798
00:31:54,170 --> 00:31:56,374
"Okay, say bye to Daddy.
Say bye to Daddy.
799
00:31:56,407 --> 00:31:59,013
"Yeah. Oh, hi.
800
00:31:59,046 --> 00:32:00,683
Yeah, okay,
I'll call you later. Bye."
801
00:32:00,716 --> 00:32:02,419
That's the woman
who lives next-door
802
00:32:02,453 --> 00:32:04,524
who I feel more connected to
than my own husband.
803
00:32:04,558 --> 00:32:07,497
(laughter)
804
00:32:07,530 --> 00:32:09,668
(sighs)
805
00:32:09,701 --> 00:32:13,108
All of that, all of that
with just imagination.
806
00:32:13,141 --> 00:32:16,047
Can you believe it?
I want you out of your seats.
807
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,684
Okay.
808
00:32:17,717 --> 00:32:21,558
I have no texts.
Not possible, actually.
809
00:32:24,698 --> 00:32:27,136
[Kate] Uh-oh. Remember her?
810
00:32:27,169 --> 00:32:30,442
(laughter)
811
00:32:30,475 --> 00:32:33,414
You know what that means.
Yeah.
812
00:32:33,448 --> 00:32:35,285
We're in the final
quadrant of the show.
813
00:32:35,318 --> 00:32:37,055
(scattered laughter)
814
00:32:37,089 --> 00:32:38,692
Isn't that heartbreaking? Mm.
815
00:32:38,726 --> 00:32:40,997
Oh! (chuckles)
816
00:32:41,030 --> 00:32:44,170
(laughter)
817
00:32:44,203 --> 00:32:45,673
I'm actually a huge gear nerd,
818
00:32:45,706 --> 00:32:47,009
so I usually bring
my own mic,
819
00:32:47,042 --> 00:32:48,178
'cause I love to be like...
820
00:32:48,211 --> 00:32:50,248
(laughter)
821
00:32:52,319 --> 00:32:53,522
It's good!
822
00:32:55,192 --> 00:32:57,530
We're set.
We're set. Okay.
823
00:33:00,335 --> 00:33:03,174
Life, like this show,
is cinnamon in the wind.
824
00:33:03,208 --> 00:33:05,412
It's just-- whoosh!
You know, it's gone.
825
00:33:05,445 --> 00:33:09,621
And... you're just there
left cursing the air like,
826
00:33:09,654 --> 00:33:12,059
"There was spice here once."
You know, it's...
827
00:33:12,092 --> 00:33:14,063
(laughter)
828
00:33:14,096 --> 00:33:16,300
That's all it is.
It's...
829
00:33:16,334 --> 00:33:18,304
(exhales) It's hard to admit,
but, you know,
830
00:33:18,338 --> 00:33:20,041
life is short.
I-- I like that.
831
00:33:20,075 --> 00:33:22,012
Life is short, life is short.
832
00:33:22,045 --> 00:33:23,448
Write that down.
Okay, we'll, we're filming,
833
00:33:23,481 --> 00:33:25,185
so that's fine.
834
00:33:25,218 --> 00:33:27,022
"Honey?"
Shh, my husband.
835
00:33:27,055 --> 00:33:30,061
"Babe... write down
'Life is short'."
836
00:33:30,095 --> 00:33:31,698
(laughter)
837
00:33:31,732 --> 00:33:33,234
"Life is short.
I'm just thinking here.
838
00:33:33,268 --> 00:33:34,771
"Uh, live out loud.
I like that.
839
00:33:34,804 --> 00:33:36,173
Write that down."
840
00:33:37,476 --> 00:33:41,250
Okay.
He's jealous of what I do.
841
00:33:41,284 --> 00:33:43,121
(laughter)
842
00:33:43,154 --> 00:33:44,624
Hmm-hmm.
843
00:33:44,658 --> 00:33:47,462
Um... yeah, but it's true
844
00:33:47,497 --> 00:33:51,170
that this could really be--
Oh, no, not again. Right.
845
00:33:52,607 --> 00:33:55,178
No, but this really is me
wrapping up formally.
846
00:33:55,212 --> 00:33:57,617
Um, people close to me know
I hate to leave the stage,
847
00:33:57,650 --> 00:34:00,322
so this will not go well,
I just want to tell you now.
848
00:34:00,355 --> 00:34:02,459
(laughter)
849
00:34:02,493 --> 00:34:04,463
It's not gonna-- it's not
gonna be a smooth one,
850
00:34:04,497 --> 00:34:07,102
but we'll get you--
we'll land you there, okay?
851
00:34:07,135 --> 00:34:09,173
We'll land you in Des Moines.
852
00:34:10,242 --> 00:34:11,745
It's funny.
Someone here tonight
853
00:34:11,778 --> 00:34:14,551
has the exact laugh
of somebody who deceived me,
854
00:34:14,584 --> 00:34:16,254
and it's really...
855
00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:18,659
(laughter)
856
00:34:18,692 --> 00:34:20,061
Huh.
857
00:34:20,095 --> 00:34:22,500
Now you're quiet, right?
858
00:34:22,533 --> 00:34:24,270
Typical.
859
00:34:24,303 --> 00:34:26,340
You do all look gorgeous,
though, I have to say.
860
00:34:26,374 --> 00:34:28,211
When we started this show,
you were all like this,
861
00:34:28,244 --> 00:34:30,081
"Oh, the mortgage,
the mortgage." Right?
862
00:34:30,115 --> 00:34:32,520
And now you're so relaxed.
You're so open.
863
00:34:32,553 --> 00:34:35,292
"The mortgage, the mortgage."
You know?
864
00:34:35,325 --> 00:34:36,795
And it is special--
865
00:34:36,828 --> 00:34:39,634
Oh, my God--
I'm so sorry. Hello?
866
00:34:40,803 --> 00:34:41,805
Yeah!
867
00:34:43,308 --> 00:34:44,644
I'm at work. Why?
868
00:34:44,678 --> 00:34:46,113
(laughter)
869
00:34:46,147 --> 00:34:47,583
Okay.
870
00:34:47,617 --> 00:34:51,190
Um... like 30 minutes, yeah.
871
00:34:51,223 --> 00:34:54,430
Oh, it's going really well.
Yeah, it's going well.
872
00:34:54,463 --> 00:34:57,436
Ohh, how is she?
873
00:34:57,469 --> 00:34:59,306
I said, "Ohh, how is she?"
874
00:34:59,340 --> 00:35:01,812
(laughter)
875
00:35:01,845 --> 00:35:04,551
Uh-huh.
876
00:35:04,584 --> 00:35:07,422
Oh, she not find it?
Shit. Okay.
877
00:35:07,456 --> 00:35:11,430
Tell her to look under
the bed, yeah. Okay.
878
00:35:11,464 --> 00:35:13,669
Okay, okay, great.
Um, oh, I gotta go,
879
00:35:13,702 --> 00:35:16,508
but, um... okay, perfect.
880
00:35:17,710 --> 00:35:21,183
I love you, too.
Okay.
881
00:35:21,217 --> 00:35:23,321
Bye.
882
00:35:23,354 --> 00:35:26,561
-(exhales)
-(laughter)
883
00:35:26,595 --> 00:35:28,197
Oh, my God.
No, I'm sorry.
884
00:35:28,231 --> 00:35:29,868
That's... so rude.
885
00:35:29,901 --> 00:35:32,840
First of all, I never wanted
to be one of those comedians
886
00:35:32,874 --> 00:35:34,176
who took a call onstage.
887
00:35:34,209 --> 00:35:36,180
That is crazy, crazy rude,
888
00:35:36,213 --> 00:35:38,451
but there's this guy
I've been seeing for a while,
889
00:35:38,484 --> 00:35:40,288
and he just like told me
he loved me,
890
00:35:40,322 --> 00:35:41,758
so right now I'm just
like, oh, my God.
891
00:35:41,792 --> 00:35:44,296
So, I-- immediately, the walls.
Isn't that funny?
892
00:35:44,330 --> 00:35:46,434
Immediately. "Oh, God,
now I can't trust," but it's--
893
00:35:46,467 --> 00:35:48,338
(laughter)
894
00:35:48,371 --> 00:35:50,876
I actually-- we do have
that solid foundation of trust
895
00:35:50,910 --> 00:35:54,584
because he is my lawyer,
so I feel like there is...
896
00:35:54,617 --> 00:35:57,222
we have that, you know?
897
00:35:57,255 --> 00:35:58,926
But... hmm!
898
00:35:58,959 --> 00:36:00,863
I'm just laughing
thinking about
899
00:36:00,896 --> 00:36:02,633
how fulfilling
my private life is.
900
00:36:02,667 --> 00:36:04,470
It's just crazy.
I just--
901
00:36:04,504 --> 00:36:06,307
And this is amazing.
Like, I love being able
902
00:36:06,340 --> 00:36:07,877
to do this
and connect like this,
903
00:36:07,910 --> 00:36:09,881
but then I go home to my boys,
and it's just very--
904
00:36:09,914 --> 00:36:12,486
I have seven sons, um...
905
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:17,396
They are 4, 6, 2, 8, 9,
12, and two days.
906
00:36:17,429 --> 00:36:20,770
(chuckles)
So I have a lot on my hands.
907
00:36:20,803 --> 00:36:23,709
I-- Yeah, so I have to
go home, but, um...
908
00:36:29,554 --> 00:36:32,259
Oh, what-- I can't think about
my family for a minute?
909
00:36:32,292 --> 00:36:33,929
Okay, sorry, whoa!
Okay!
910
00:36:33,962 --> 00:36:36,233
No, I'll get back on schedule
for sure.
911
00:36:36,267 --> 00:36:38,471
Jesus Christ!
912
00:36:38,505 --> 00:36:41,210
In case anyone cares, this whole
night has been hell for me.
913
00:36:41,243 --> 00:36:44,818
Okay?
In case anyone cares!
914
00:36:44,851 --> 00:36:48,491
Since the very beginning.
Tick tock! Right?
915
00:36:48,525 --> 00:36:50,395
"Get to the point, bitch!"
Right?
916
00:36:50,428 --> 00:36:51,898
(laughter)
917
00:36:51,932 --> 00:36:53,802
I've felt that from you,
so don't worry.
918
00:36:53,836 --> 00:36:55,639
I'll be on my way,
and you can go back
919
00:36:55,673 --> 00:36:57,910
to your perfect life
without me.
920
00:36:59,881 --> 00:37:02,385
Jesus Christ.
921
00:37:02,419 --> 00:37:04,423
By the way, I'll just say,
like, you paid to see me,
922
00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:07,295
but I'm the weirdo.
Okay, got it!
923
00:37:07,329 --> 00:37:09,400
Yeah, all of you
staring at me,
924
00:37:09,433 --> 00:37:10,936
but I'm the one
who has a screw loose.
925
00:37:10,970 --> 00:37:13,509
Got it. Sure.
926
00:37:13,542 --> 00:37:14,944
Okay.
927
00:37:14,978 --> 00:37:17,416
No, I'm being--
It's not cool
928
00:37:17,449 --> 00:37:18,719
to, like, yell at you.
929
00:37:18,752 --> 00:37:20,956
It's... (exhales)
930
00:37:20,990 --> 00:37:23,695
I'm, um, sad to leave,
931
00:37:23,729 --> 00:37:26,434
because until tonight, I--
932
00:37:26,467 --> 00:37:28,839
I didn't know
what a family was.
933
00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:31,945
(laughter)
934
00:37:31,978 --> 00:37:34,851
No, I'm serious.
I had always seen in...
935
00:37:34,884 --> 00:37:38,826
books and... TV movie,
things like that.
936
00:37:38,859 --> 00:37:40,428
I always saw this family,
I always saw
937
00:37:40,462 --> 00:37:42,834
these happy people smiling,
and I was always
938
00:37:42,867 --> 00:37:44,269
banging on the glass
like this.
939
00:37:44,303 --> 00:37:45,806
"Let me in, let me in!"
940
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,579
And I never could get in,
and, um...
941
00:37:48,612 --> 00:37:50,014
I guess tonight
for the first time
942
00:37:50,048 --> 00:37:51,685
I actually kind of felt like
I was sitting
943
00:37:51,718 --> 00:37:53,354
at the dining room table
with everyone.
944
00:37:53,387 --> 00:37:55,593
So, um, that's why it's
hard for me to leave,
945
00:37:55,626 --> 00:37:59,299
but I have to leave...
I have to get back, um...
946
00:37:59,333 --> 00:38:02,907
I'm selling tank tops
and stuff outside, so...
947
00:38:02,940 --> 00:38:05,311
So I have to get back
to that, but, um...
948
00:38:05,345 --> 00:38:06,748
all good things
must end, right?
949
00:38:06,781 --> 00:38:10,321
"Write that down, babe!
That's good, but..."
950
00:38:10,355 --> 00:38:12,894
But I'm gonna put on
a happy face...
951
00:38:12,927 --> 00:38:16,000
and we're gonna get on
with the show, right?
952
00:38:16,033 --> 00:38:18,872
Because it is a show, and
there's so much pressure on me.
953
00:38:18,906 --> 00:38:21,578
And don't-- just--
just don't forget that tonight.
954
00:38:23,515 --> 00:38:24,918
Goodbye.
(laughs) No, okay!
955
00:38:24,951 --> 00:38:27,890
(laughter)
956
00:38:27,924 --> 00:38:30,328
Ohh.
957
00:38:30,361 --> 00:38:32,600
Ahh. Come on!
958
00:38:32,633 --> 00:38:34,771
I have to leave?
959
00:38:34,804 --> 00:38:37,643
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Okay. I actually have to--
960
00:38:37,677 --> 00:38:39,514
I'm slashing material.
That's what I'm doing right now.
961
00:38:39,547 --> 00:38:40,916
It's really hard.
I'm slashing.
962
00:38:40,950 --> 00:38:42,753
I'm slashing the good stuff.
I had this--
963
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:44,489
I did have
this incredible closer.
964
00:38:44,524 --> 00:38:46,360
It was like... Mmm!
965
00:38:46,393 --> 00:38:47,897
You know, it was like
really creamy
966
00:38:47,930 --> 00:38:49,667
and like brought together
all these different little--
967
00:38:49,701 --> 00:38:51,036
little variations
on the show.
968
00:38:51,070 --> 00:38:52,740
It was like
all the different threads
969
00:38:52,773 --> 00:38:54,409
of the show into this one
finely woven tapestry.
970
00:38:54,443 --> 00:38:55,913
"Here!" You know?
971
00:38:55,946 --> 00:38:59,386
But... time.
I just can't. Heh.
972
00:38:59,419 --> 00:39:00,956
Also, closers are gauche.
973
00:39:00,990 --> 00:39:04,029
I'm like, "Oh, oh, I'm real--
here's my big closer."
974
00:39:04,062 --> 00:39:06,935
You know, it's like-- uhh.
You know, it's cheap.
975
00:39:06,968 --> 00:39:08,805
(chuckles)
It's cheap!
976
00:39:08,839 --> 00:39:10,543
And I don't want to belittle
what we have with material.
977
00:39:10,576 --> 00:39:12,078
Like, blah!
You know?
978
00:39:12,112 --> 00:39:14,551
Are we on a cruise?
You know? Jesus.
979
00:39:14,584 --> 00:39:16,721
No, I'm-- I am like...
980
00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:18,090
delaying leaving.
981
00:39:18,124 --> 00:39:20,061
There is something
I, like, don't--
982
00:39:20,094 --> 00:39:21,831
I've been, like,
putting off saying.
983
00:39:21,865 --> 00:39:23,702
I'm just gonna, like, rip off
the Band-Aid and say it.
984
00:39:23,735 --> 00:39:26,575
Um... mm!
Why is this hard?
985
00:39:26,608 --> 00:39:29,446
Oh-kay.
My name is not Kate Berlant.
986
00:39:29,479 --> 00:39:30,783
(laughter)
987
00:39:30,816 --> 00:39:32,820
(chuckles)
And I'm not a comedian.
988
00:39:32,853 --> 00:39:36,695
Um... my name is Megan
"redacted for my privacy."
989
00:39:36,728 --> 00:39:40,869
Um... but I'm actually
the chief research analyst
990
00:39:40,903 --> 00:39:42,873
of Behavioral Science
at Cornell University,
991
00:39:42,907 --> 00:39:45,111
and this has been incredible.
992
00:39:45,144 --> 00:39:46,982
I've been living as Kate
993
00:39:47,015 --> 00:39:49,119
for longer
than I'd like to admit,
994
00:39:49,152 --> 00:39:51,825
studying the relationship
between audience and performer.
995
00:39:51,858 --> 00:39:54,597
Things like that,
but tonight, uh, it's over.
996
00:39:54,631 --> 00:39:55,966
This was kind
of my magnum opus,
997
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,737
was to perform as her
for an hour.
998
00:39:57,770 --> 00:39:59,807
I can't believe
so many people fell for it,
999
00:39:59,841 --> 00:40:03,715
but this is my night
to sort of shed her,
1000
00:40:03,749 --> 00:40:05,451
and it's been--
it's been amazing,
1001
00:40:05,485 --> 00:40:07,022
but I do want to go back
to my roots,
1002
00:40:07,055 --> 00:40:09,459
my real passion,
which is irrigation.
1003
00:40:09,494 --> 00:40:13,134
And... yeah, just rerouting
water systems,
1004
00:40:13,167 --> 00:40:14,637
the bureaucracy of water,
stuff like that,
1005
00:40:14,671 --> 00:40:16,106
I really want to get into.
1006
00:40:16,140 --> 00:40:18,612
Uh, so, yeah,
I'm gonna shed Kate tonight,
1007
00:40:18,645 --> 00:40:21,851
and with that...
1008
00:40:21,885 --> 00:40:24,624
Good night! That's not it,
but can you imagine?
1009
00:40:24,657 --> 00:40:25,993
(laughter)
1010
00:40:26,026 --> 00:40:29,867
-No.
-(scattered applause)
1011
00:40:29,901 --> 00:40:32,038
Not gonna end on that,
but, uh...
1012
00:40:32,072 --> 00:40:33,508
But, yeah, okay.
1013
00:40:33,542 --> 00:40:35,746
Ohh! The chili sale.
The-- Okay.
1014
00:40:35,779 --> 00:40:39,119
I'm selling chili.
Uh...
1015
00:40:39,152 --> 00:40:41,992
(laughter)
1016
00:40:42,025 --> 00:40:43,895
I couldn't send you home
with nothing.
1017
00:40:43,929 --> 00:40:46,901
There is a chili sale
happening, um, out front.
1018
00:40:46,935 --> 00:40:48,805
There are three crocks.
1019
00:40:48,839 --> 00:40:50,776
They're Mild, Medium,
and "Oh No She Didn't."
1020
00:40:50,809 --> 00:40:52,513
It's kind of three different--
1021
00:40:52,546 --> 00:40:54,884
And we encourage you
to layer the chilis, right?
1022
00:40:54,917 --> 00:40:58,759
Have fun with it.
They're 3.99, yeah, uh, a cup.
1023
00:40:58,792 --> 00:41:00,629
And please, please buy it.
1024
00:41:00,663 --> 00:41:02,900
Know that
all the proceeds go.
1025
00:41:02,933 --> 00:41:05,004
-(laughter)
-Um...
1026
00:41:05,038 --> 00:41:07,643
So-- so that's great.
1027
00:41:07,677 --> 00:41:09,212
(clears throat)
1028
00:41:09,246 --> 00:41:13,789
Well, this has been explosive.
Your words, not mine.
1029
00:41:13,822 --> 00:41:16,026
But, um...
yeah, it really is time.
1030
00:41:16,060 --> 00:41:18,799
I have to say when I first
got here tonight...
1031
00:41:18,832 --> 00:41:20,201
I didn't know what to expect.
I was like,
1032
00:41:20,234 --> 00:41:21,805
Will the spirit
be with me, right?
1033
00:41:21,838 --> 00:41:23,809
Will tonight be a night
I just go home,
1034
00:41:23,842 --> 00:41:25,846
open up the Uber app,
and watch the cars go?
1035
00:41:25,879 --> 00:41:28,819
-You know, is that...
-(laughter)
1036
00:41:28,852 --> 00:41:30,188
See, right there
I could've left.
1037
00:41:30,221 --> 00:41:31,825
That would have been good.
1038
00:41:31,858 --> 00:41:34,162
That would have been
professional, in fact.
1039
00:41:34,196 --> 00:41:36,200
Okay, should we do
house lights up?
1040
00:41:36,233 --> 00:41:37,636
I don't know--
Here's what's so crazy.
1041
00:41:37,670 --> 00:41:39,674
Here's--
here's my dirty secret.
1042
00:41:39,707 --> 00:41:41,678
The show's over.
1043
00:41:41,711 --> 00:41:43,180
No, but it reall--
it ended-- Yeah, see--
1044
00:41:43,214 --> 00:41:45,084
By the way,
look how casual I am.
1045
00:41:45,118 --> 00:41:46,220
(laughter)
1046
00:41:46,253 --> 00:41:47,957
(taps on microphone)
1047
00:41:47,990 --> 00:41:49,594
Is this thing--
No, you know.
1048
00:41:49,627 --> 00:41:51,998
"Where wasn't I?"
That's the name of the show.
1049
00:41:52,032 --> 00:41:53,935
-But...
-(gentle music)
1050
00:41:53,969 --> 00:41:55,739
Yeah, that's
the kind of casual kind of...
1051
00:41:55,773 --> 00:41:58,612
(laughter)
1052
00:41:58,645 --> 00:42:00,849
Oh, my water.
1053
00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:05,124
Wait, there's a camera here?
1054
00:42:05,158 --> 00:42:06,795
♪♪♪
1055
00:42:06,828 --> 00:42:10,969
Oh, no.
1056
00:42:11,003 --> 00:42:13,074
Damn it.
1057
00:42:13,107 --> 00:42:16,246
I wanted to do this,
and that, and the other thing.
1058
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,119
(indistinct)
1059
00:42:19,152 --> 00:42:21,858
(music continues)
1060
00:42:21,891 --> 00:42:31,945
♪♪♪
1061
00:42:31,945 --> 00:43:50,301
♪♪♪
73323
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