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1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:02,970
- GLENNON FROM THE SHOTGUN.
DROPS BACK--
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,738
- NO!
INTERCEPTION!
3
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,907
GOD--
4
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,947
UGH.
5
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:19,620
[laughs]
6
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,256
[phone ringing]
7
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,225
- WHAT?
- FROM THE COUCH,
8
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,026
CROUCHED, FACE ALMOST
TO THE FLOOR,
9
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,062
SANDWICH IN MY RIGHT HAND,
FLICKED THE PICKLE
10
00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:30,098
INTO THE TRASH CAN,
SWISH, NO PLASTIC.
11
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,200
- HMM, CROUCHED?
- CROUCHED.
12
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,868
- YOU KNOW WHAT THE MOST
IMPRESSIVE THING ABOUT THAT IS?
13
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,670
- THE DISTANCE.
- NO.
14
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,038
THE FACT THAT YOU DIDN'T
EAT THE PICKLE SLICE
15
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,407
WHEN IT FELL
ON THE FLOOR.
16
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,375
CALL ME BACK AFTER
YOU HIT THREE IN A ROW.
17
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,111
HEY, WHAT'S THE SCORE ON
THE ATLANTA-TAMPA BAY GAME?
18
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:45,113
- SHITTY HELMETS 17,
19
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,514
SHITTIER HELMETS
IN PEWTER PANTS 3.
20
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,048
- THE BUCCANEERS
ARE THE WORST.
21
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,450
IF THEY GOT A GAY PLAYER
ON TAMPA BAY,
22
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:50,951
HE AIN'T COMIN'
OUT OF THE CLOSET TILL
23
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,253
HE GETS TRADED TO A TEAM
WITH BETTER UNIFORMS.
24
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,954
- YEAH, THIS GAME'S OVER.
25
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,090
- WELCOME BACK TO
THE NATIONAL SPELLING BEE.
26
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,726
YOUR WORD
IS "ELUCUBRATE."
27
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,595
- SHIT.
28
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:04,298
ASK FOR A DEFINITION, KID.
29
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:06,634
- DEFINITION, PLEASE.
- GOOD GIRL.
30
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,035
- "TO WORK OUT
WITH GREAT DIFFICULTY."
31
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,870
- WHAT, LIKE IN THE GYM?
- NO, ASSHOLE.
32
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,773
IN LITERATURE, TO CREATE
A GREAT LITERARY WORK.
33
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,242
- 10 BUCKS SAYS
THERE'S A "K."
34
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,909
- THERE'S NO "K."
- 10 BUCKS.
35
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,945
- YOU ON, BITCH.
36
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:18,912
- ELUCUBRATE.
37
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,549
E-L-U-C...
38
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:25,886
U-B-R-A-T-E.
39
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,288
[ding]
- CORRECT.
40
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:29,157
- BAH, NO WAY
THAT KID'S NINE.
41
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,658
- KNOW WHAT ELSE
DON'T HAVE A "K"?
42
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,760
CASH.
YOU OWE ME 10 BUCKS.
43
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:33,961
- OHH.
44
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:34,995
[knock at door]
45
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,331
- WHO'S THAT?
46
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:39,300
- OH, IT'S THERESA.
- UH-OH.
47
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,634
WHAT'D YOU DO THIS TIME?
- I DON'T KNOW.
48
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:41,969
I WAS GONNA ASK YOU
THE SAME THING.
49
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:42,770
- WHEW, CALL ME BACK.
50
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,973
GODSPEED.
51
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,675
- IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
52
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,343
- MM.
53
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,645
- MM-MM-MM.
54
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,080
- MMM.
55
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,583
- OH, YOU'RE DRUNK.
56
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:59,019
- YEP.
57
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,355
COME HERE.
58
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,857
- OH. WELL,
I-I CAN'T DO THAT.
59
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,294
I'D BE TAKING ADVANTAGE
OF YOU.
60
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,429
- THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT.
- OH, GOD.
61
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,865
UM--I'M TRYING
TO ELUCUBRATE
62
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,100
THE RIGHT THING
TO DO HERE.
63
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,168
- LUCA--WHAT?
64
00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:15,869
- BRATE.
65
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:19,507
- I MUST BE DRUNKER
THAN I THOUGHT.
66
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,041
- OKAY, LET'S DO THIS.
HOW MANY, UM,
67
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,676
DRINKS DID YOU HAVE?
68
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:25,279
- MM. FOUR GIN AND TONICS...
- UH-HUH.
69
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:28,182
- AND A LITTLE
TASTY RED THING.
70
00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:29,016
- OKAY.
FIVE DRINKS.
71
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,684
FIVE DRINKS.
72
00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:32,119
WELL, CALCULATING
YOUR BODY WEIGHT,
73
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,854
I'M GONNA NEED
SIX DRINKS TO CATCH UP.
74
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,856
RIGHT? OKAY.
- RIGHT.
75
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,691
- SIX SHOTS TO CATCH UP.
76
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,126
- SHOTS, SHOTS,
SHOTS, SHOTS.
77
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,194
- YEAH, OKAY.
78
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:41,795
- OKAY.
- OH, MY GOD.
79
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,197
- YES.
80
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,966
GET IT.
- ONE.
81
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,167
KEEP GOING.
YOU'LL GET IT OFF.
82
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,836
I TRUST YOU.
83
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,070
YEP, KICK IT.
JUST KEEP KICKING IT.
84
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,372
YOU'LL GET IT.
THERE YOU GO.
85
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,006
BE CAREFUL.
- OH, OH, WHOA!
86
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,308
[groan]
87
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,844
- I MIGHT NEED SEVEN.
88
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,979
- I FOUND A DOLLAR
UNDER YOUR COUCH.
89
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,981
- OH, IT'S A TIP.
90
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:05,085
- THANKS.
91
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:09,257
- [chuckling]
92
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,725
- [gasps]
93
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,327
I FOUND ANOTHER DOLLAR.
94
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,229
- IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY, HUH?
95
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,664
[chuckling]
96
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,833
OKAY. WHERE YOU GOING?
SLOW DOWN.
97
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,870
[upbeat music]
98
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:26,206
*
99
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,741
- * SUCKER-PUNCHED
BY THE CLOCK *
100
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,410
* BUCKLED TO THE KNEES
101
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,845
* CHECKER CAB CURLED
BY THE SIDE OF A TREE *
102
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,115
* INTO THE GROWL OF THE CITY
WITH A DEAFENING CRY *
103
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:36,884
* AGAIN I RIDE
104
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,952
* AGAIN I RIDE
105
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:49,062
- HEY, DUDLEY MOORE.
- NO.
106
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,298
- OOH.
- NO!
107
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,932
- WE'VE GOT TO GO TO WORK.
108
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,967
[chuckling]
109
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,303
- ON A SCALE OF
ONE TO DEAN MARTIN,
110
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,970
HOW DRUNK
WAS I LAST NIGHT?
111
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,772
- UM, TWO.
112
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,974
TWO DEAN MARTINS.
- OY.
113
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:02,075
- UH-HUH.
114
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,778
[chuckling]
115
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,046
- SO THE SEX?
116
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,448
- YEAH.
117
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,383
- IT WAS FUN.
- YEAH, IT WAS.
118
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,285
- AND I WAS THINKING--
- UH-OH.
119
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,753
- IT COULD BE FUN AGAIN.
120
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,121
- YOU MEAN, LIKE,
RIGHT NOW?
121
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,956
- NOPE. RIGHT NOW MY HEAD
IS A JACKHAMMER.
122
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,826
- OKAY.
- LOOK.
123
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,494
WE ARE BOTH BUSY.
- MM-HMM.
124
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,095
- WE BOTH HAVE NEEDS.
125
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:23,497
I MISS YOU.
YOU MISS ME.
126
00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,799
- MM-HMM.
- SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?
127
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:26,934
YOU WANT TO
HAVE SEX SOMETIMES?
128
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:31,939
- UH, SO--
129
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,342
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- SEX.
130
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:38,512
JUST SEX, YOU KNOW, LIKE,
A COUPLE TIMES A WEEK.
131
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,849
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
132
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,352
- I--YOU WANT
TO JUST HAVE SEX
133
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,786
WITH ME A COUPLE TIMES A WEEK
134
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,087
WITHOUT ANY OF
THE RELATIONSHIP-Y STUFF?
135
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,522
IS THAT WHAT
YOU'RE PROPOSING?
136
00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:51,325
- YEAH. IT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I AM PROPOSING.
137
00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:52,826
- UH--
[laughs]
138
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,027
- WHAT?
139
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,529
- NOTHING.
140
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:56,330
- YOU DON'T THINK
I CAN DO THIS.
141
00:04:56,364 --> 00:04:57,965
- I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
142
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,199
BUT I DON'T THINK--
- I CAN DO THIS.
143
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,668
- I DON'T THINK
YOU CAN DO THIS.
144
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,270
- NO DATING, NO DINNERS,
NO LONG TALKS
145
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,938
OR TEXTING AFTER,
NO STAYING OVER.
146
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,474
WE JUST GET TOGETHER,
HAVE A BLAST
147
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,975
A COUPLE TIMES A WEEK.
148
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,643
IT DOESN'T EVEN
MEAN ANYTHING.
149
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,379
IT DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE
GETTING BACK TOGETHER.
150
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,046
IT DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE NOT
GETTING BACK TOGETHER.
151
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,884
IT'S JUST PURE,
RAW ANIMAL DESIRE.
152
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,823
WHAT?
153
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,125
- I MEAN THIS IS
EVERY GUY'S FANTASY.
154
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,361
A GORGEOUS GIRL WANTS TO
HOOK UP WITHOUT ANY ATTACHMENTS.
155
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:30,364
- WELL.
156
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,200
- I'M IN.
157
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,368
- COOL.
- COOL.
158
00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:37,070
- CLINK ON IT.
159
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:38,772
- COOL.
160
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,976
- OKAY.
161
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,177
- WELL, HERE WE GO.
162
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,245
- WELL, HERE WE DO IT.
- OKAY.
163
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,014
- WE'RE DOING IT.
164
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,181
- YOU JUST HAVE A--
- WE'RE GONNA DO IT.
165
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,884
- NEVER MIND.
166
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,254
- JUST 'CAUSE
YOU CLINKED ON IT,
167
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,889
DOESN'T MEAN SHIT.
168
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,324
- I DON'T KNOW,
CLINKING CAN BE
169
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,692
PRETTY SERIOUS STUFF
WHEN IT COMES TO GIRLS.
170
00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,993
- THANK YOU, BRIAN.
- I CLINKED ON A BET
171
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,529
WITH MY COUSIN MAGDA ONCE...
- YEAH?
172
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,196
- ENDED UP TAKING HER
TO FOUR DIFFERENT WEDDINGS.
173
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,732
AND BELIEVE ME,
IT WAS NOT LIKE THE MOVIE.
174
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:05,866
- SO YOU DON'T THINK
THAT TWO PEOPLE
175
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,067
CAN HAVE SEX
THAT'S JUST SEX?
176
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,869
- NO. I THINK TWO PEOPLE
CAN DO IT.
177
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,504
I'VE SEEN FOUR OR FIVE PEOPLE
DO IT AT THE SAME TIME.
178
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,072
I DON'T THINK
YOU CAN DO IT.
179
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,541
- NO. SEINFELD DID IT.
- NO, HE DIDN'T.
180
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,708
THAT WAS THE POINT
OF THE EPISODE.
181
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,076
- HEY, WHO DO YOU THINK
WE'D BE?
182
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,545
YOU'D BE JERRY, OF COURSE.
183
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,112
YOU'D BE GEORGE...
- WHAT?
184
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:22,015
- AND I'D BE KRAMER
AND ELAINE.
185
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,417
- I DON'T GET WHY YOU
GET TO BE ELAINE.
186
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:25,419
I'M A MUCH BETTER ELAINE.
187
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,758
HEY, WHERE'S THE PATIENT?
- OH, HELLO.
188
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,292
ACTUALLY, BEFORE
YOU GUYS COME IN HERE,
189
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,527
CAN I JUST FIND OUT
YOUR DISCLOSURE POLICY?
190
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,128
I THINK WE'RE OWED THAT.
191
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,430
- WHAT?
192
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:39,533
- ANSWER ME
THESE QUESTIONS THREE.
193
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:42,035
- OKAY, BOYS, LOOKS LIKE
WE HAVE OURSELVES A WIZARD.
194
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,604
- NO, NO.
OKAY, LISTEN.
195
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,739
YOU GUYS, DO WE HAVE
DOCTOR-PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY?
196
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,140
- HEY, RELAX.
WE'RE NOT COPS.
197
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,876
- WE'RE JUST HERE
TO HELP YOU GUYS.
198
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,745
- YOU HAVE ANSWERED CORRECTLY.
199
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,647
- DO YOU GRANT US
SAFE PASSAGE?
200
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,248
- OH, BRIAN, COME ON.
- THAT'S GOOD, OKAY, SORRY.
201
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,084
- WE WERE TOLD THAT SOMEONE
WAS STRUCK
202
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,486
BY SOME SORT OF
SPORTING EQUIPMENT.
203
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:00,588
- [chuckle]
OH, NOT STRUCK BRO, IMPALED.
204
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,055
- HE GOT STUCK
BY HIS OWN JART.
205
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,257
- HE SELF-JARTED.
- THE MAN SELF-JARTED.
206
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,292
[indistinct chatter]
207
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,027
- OOH.
[sigh]
208
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,398
[overlapping chatter]
209
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,066
- THIS COULDN'T BE
OUR CUSTOMER RIGHT HERE,
210
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,235
COULD IT?
211
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,937
- SEE WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN PEOPLE GET DRUNK?
212
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:20,608
THEY DO STUPID SHIT THAT
THEY'LL REGRET LATER ON.
213
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,309
- ALL RIGHT, GUY,
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
214
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,645
- HEY, GUYS.
- HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
215
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,747
- WE'VE GOT AN
ALCOHOL-RELATED INJURY.
216
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,115
THE PATIENT HAS
WHAT APPEARS TO BE
217
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,416
A LAWN DART
LODGED IN HIS BACK.
218
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,451
OBVIOUS CASE OF L.M.C.
219
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,453
- L.M.C.?
- LOW MARBLE COUNT.
220
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,022
- [laughs]
THAT IS AWESOME.
221
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,857
- THAT IS AWESOME.
222
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,458
- I THOUGHT THEY OUTLAWED
THESE THINGS IN THE '80s?
223
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:39,960
- OH, YEAH. WE'RE, LIKE,
TOTALLY OFF THE GRID.
224
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,129
- NONE OF THIS
IS HAPPENING, MAN.
225
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,997
- BUT IF IT WERE HAPPENING,
THEN THIS WOULD BE
226
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,299
THE NORTH SIDE
JART INVITATIONAL.
227
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,169
AND YOU WOULD BE
WATCHING THE SEMIFINALS.
228
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,270
- YES.
- OH.
229
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,304
IS THIS, LIKE,
A GROUP THING,
230
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,641
OR AN INDIVIDUAL SPORT, OR--
231
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,976
- IT'S FOUR TEAMS OF FOUR,
ROUND-ROBIN PLAY.
232
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,811
THE JART MUST BE THROWN
AT LEAST AS HIGH AS THAT
233
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,713
THIRD STORY APARTMENT WINDOW,
BUT NO HIGHER
234
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,381
THAN THE SMOLINSKI'S
SUNSHADE.
235
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,517
- QUESTION. WHAT IF
THE SUNSHADE ISN'T OUT?
236
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:04,852
- I'M GLAD YOU ASKED THAT.
237
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:09,489
WINTER RULES APPLY.
ANYTHING GOES.
238
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:10,357
- WINTER'S COMING.
239
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:13,293
- OHH. HE DOES THAT.
240
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,228
- YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LUCKY
THIS THING DIDN'T HIT AN ARTERY.
241
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,965
- I THINK YOU MEAN
A JARTERY.
242
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:18,966
[laughter]
243
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:22,035
- NEXT ONE GETS A PUNCH.
244
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,303
- WE WERE JUST
JARTING AROUND.
245
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,505
[all snickering]
246
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:28,175
- SIR, WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO TAKE YOU IN.
247
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,011
OH, SEE, LOOK.
WE GOT 12 DUDES HERE.
248
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,346
GOOD TIME FOR
THE UNOFFICIAL POLL.
249
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,249
HEY, HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS
ARE JUST IN RELATIONSHIPS
250
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:39,720
TO HOOK UP AND HAVE SEX?
251
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:45,225
- HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS
ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS?
252
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,598
- I NEED YOU
TO LIE STILL, SIR.
253
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,032
- I CAN'T GET A GOOD ANGLE.
254
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,567
LIKE, I WANT TO GET
THE JART IN MY BACK.
255
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,168
BUT I WANT MY FACE
TO BE, LIKE,
256
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,503
"WHAT JART IN MY BACK?"
257
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,071
- YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE
IS IN YOUR BACK?
258
00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,206
YOUR SPINE.
259
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,240
- GIVE ME THAT.
260
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,010
DON'T MOVE.
261
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,712
- HOW DO I LOOK?
262
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,346
- LIKE A DAMN HORS D'OEUVRE.
263
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,415
- YES, THAT'S THE CAPTION.
264
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,350
OH, SHIT.
265
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,921
- MM-HMM.
266
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,689
- YOU DON'T THINK THERESA
AND I CAN PULL THIS OFF?
267
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,257
- OH, I THINK THERESA
CAN PULL IT OFF NO PROBLEM.
268
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,525
IT'S YOU I'M WORRIED ABOUT.
269
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,193
- YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT ME?
- YEP.
270
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,895
- BRO, IT'S A NO-BRAINER.
IT'S JUST SEX.
271
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:22,696
IT'S THE PART OF
THE RELATIONSHIP I'M GOOD AT.
272
00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,564
HOW CAN I SCREW THIS UP?
273
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,366
- BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU,
AND BECAUSE UNDERNEATH
274
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,468
THAT SPORTS-LOVING MAN'S-MAN
GUY'S-GUY HEART OF YOURS
275
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,970
IS A TINY LITTLE VAGINA.
276
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,271
NOW I DON'T MEAN THAT
IN A BAD WAY.
277
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,539
IT'S A LOVING,
SUPPORTIVE VAGINA.
278
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,707
- AW.
- KNOCK IT OFF, BRIAN.
279
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,108
- IT SOUNDED
LIKE A GOOD THING.
280
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,276
- IT'S NOT.
- LOOK.
281
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,911
YOU'RE NOT IN IT
FOR THE ACTION.
282
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,880
YOU LIKE THE TALKING
AND THE EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT.
283
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,281
FACE THE FACTS, BRO.
- I LIKE THE SEX.
284
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,083
I CAN DO THIS.
285
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,552
- YOU'RE GONNA STEP ON
YOUR OWN DICK HERE, PAL.
286
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,620
- WHICH ONE IS IT?
287
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:49,723
DO I HAVE A DICK
OR A VAGINA?
288
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:53,526
- HE HAS BOTH, ACTUALLY,
IN A GOOD WAY.
289
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,636
- NOTHING WRONG WITH A MAN
290
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,504
WHO'S GOT A LITTLE
SQUISH MITTEN IN HIM.
291
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,473
- I DON'T HAVE A--
292
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,308
IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL YOUR--
- YEP.
293
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,143
SQUISH MITTEN, LOVE TACO,
294
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:11,945
CUPCAKE,
DEPENDS ON THE DAY.
295
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,313
- COME ON, I'M TRYING
TO READ HERE.
296
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:14,481
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
TO HEAR ABOUT
297
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,316
WHAT YOU
CALL YOUR PRIVATE STUFF.
298
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,617
- LOOK.
299
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,286
WHEN I STARTED HERE
20 YEARS AGO,
300
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,121
IT WAS JUST YOU,
DOYLE, STEGS,
301
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,589
AND A BUNCH OF GUYS TALKING
ABOUT YOUR DICKS ALL DAY.
302
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,424
NOW, IT'S A NEW WORLD.
303
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,826
WE GOT SOME GIRLS UP IN HERE
AND WE'RE GONNA
304
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,195
CALL OUR BUSINESS
WHATEVER WE WANT.
305
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,297
HAM WALLET.
- MM-HMM.
306
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,432
- YOU HAD TO START IN
WITH THE SEX TALK.
307
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,533
- IT WASN'T ME.
IT WAS HANK.
308
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,268
- BIRTH CANNON.
- CHA-CHA.
309
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,438
- THE VELVETEEN RABBIT.
310
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,273
THAT WAS MY SISTER'S
FAVORITE BOOK.
311
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,308
I TOTALLY RUINED IT
FOR HER.
312
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,943
[laughter]
313
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,544
- YOU'RE A SENSITIVE MAN,
FARRELL.
314
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,979
YOU GOT A LITTLE BIT
OF GIRL IN YOU.
315
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,514
AND I, FOR ONE,
AM GONNA GO ON RECORD
316
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,516
AS SAYING I FIND THAT
VERY ATTRACTIVE.
317
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,484
- THERE ARE ACTUALLY
SEVERAL VARIETIES
318
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,220
OF FISH THAT
ARE HERMAPHRODITIC.
319
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,055
IN FACT, THERE'S ONE SPECIES
OFF THE COAST
320
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,825
OF AUSTRALIA THAT CAN
GROW THE OTHER GENITALIA,
321
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,193
AND HAVE SEX WITH ITSELF
WHENEVER IT WANTS.
322
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,528
- REALLY?
323
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,697
- WHAT IS IT CALLED?
- A HAPPY GODDAMN FISH.
324
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:05,298
[laughter]
325
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,900
- I NEED A RULING, HERE.
326
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:09,069
DO YOU THINK THE JART QUALIFIES
AS AN IMPALEMENT?
327
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,303
- SURE, IF IT'S POKING OUT
OF A GUY'S
328
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,471
SHOULDER MEAT LIKE THAT.
SURE.
329
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,040
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
330
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,908
- HE'S GOT AN E.M.T.
BUCKET LIST IN THERE.
331
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,878
THE THINGS HE HOPES TO SEE
AND DO ON THE JOB.
332
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,646
- IMPALEMENT IS NUMBER ONE.
333
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,881
- CASH, COME ON.
334
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,582
- YOU STOP
EATING MY TWIXES,
335
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,718
I'LL STOP READING STUFF
YOU LEAVE LAYING AROUND.
336
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:26,486
- DELIVERING A BABY--
YOU HAVEN'T DONE THAT YET?
337
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,821
- WE DELIVERED A BABY
LAST MONTH.
338
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,656
HE WOULDN'T LET ME
KEEP THE PLACENTA.
339
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,591
- YOU'VE ALREADY
GOT AN UMBILICAL CORD.
340
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,260
- NARCAN?
- YEAH.
341
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,028
THE THING WHERE
YOU JAB A PERSON WITH IT,
342
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,563
AND BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE,
LIKE IN PULP FICTION.
343
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,198
- I FORGOT IT WAS
EVEN CALLED NARCAN.
344
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,499
SEVEN YEARS ON THE JOB,
I'VE ONLY SEEN,
345
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,734
LIKE, TWO DEAD JUNKIES.
346
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,202
- THE DAYS OF THE SKINNY-ASS,
347
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,537
HEROIN-DOPE-SHOOTING JUNKIES
ARE OVER.
348
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,740
- YEAH, IT'S ALL METH HEADS
AND CRACK HEADS NOW.
349
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,575
AND WE SHOW UP AND
THEY AIN'T EVEN DEAD.
350
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,177
- AND THEY'RE USUALLY RANTING
AND RAVING
351
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,379
AND THROWING CRAZY
JACKIE CHAN KARATE KICKS.
352
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,848
- HAD THIS ONE GUY
A COUPLE MONTHS AGO
353
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:57,250
WAVING A MACHETE AROUND,
SCREAMING ABOUT
354
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:58,852
BEING OBAMA'S COUSIN.
355
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,354
IT TURNS OUT
HE ACTUALLY WAS.
356
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,557
[phone chimes]
357
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:07,928
- IT'S THERESA, AND SHE
WANTS TO HOOK UP TONIGHT.
358
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,897
- ALL RIGHT, NOW,
DON'T SCREW THIS UP.
359
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,799
- I GOT THIS, MAN.
360
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,566
I'M A SEX MACHINE.
361
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,935
- I'M A SEX MACHINE.
- WHAT?
362
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,637
- OR I THINK I MIGHT
BE PART MACHINE,
363
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,807
BECAUSE I LIKE SEX WITHOUT
ANY EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT.
364
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,441
- RIGHT?
WHO DOESN'T?
365
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,710
- YOU...LOVE TACO.
366
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,413
- SHUT UP, DICK.
367
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,917
[both panting]
368
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,652
- A LOT OF EYE CONTACT
THERE ON THAT ONE, BUDDY.
369
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:33,887
- OH, SORRY.
370
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,655
- IT'S OKAY.
371
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,758
YOU WERE FOCUSED,
AND IT PAID OFF.
372
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:39,626
- I WAS...
- MM-HMM.
373
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,428
- WASN'T I?
374
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,462
I THINK THAT MY FOCUS
HAS IMPROVED
375
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,630
SINCE I GOT INTO TENNIS.
376
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:44,932
- YOU'RE PLAYING TENNIS?
377
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,566
- NO, I WAS JUST WATCHING IT.
378
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,734
BUT IF YOU DON'T
REALLY CONCENTRATE,
379
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,836
IT GETS SUPER BORING.
380
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,304
- [giggles]
- YOU HUNGRY?
381
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,573
- WHOA, HOLD ON THERE,
BIG GUY.
382
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,674
- WHAT?
383
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,077
- WE AGREED,
NO HANGING AROUND,
384
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,580
NO FOOD, JUST SEX,
REMEMBER?
385
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,683
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
386
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,085
HOW ABOUT A SANDWICH?
387
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,588
- SORRY, THAT FALLS
UNDER THE FOOD RULE.
388
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,457
- YOU SAID, "NO DINNER."
389
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,025
IF I'D KNOWN SANDWICHES
WERE OFF THE TABLE,
390
00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:13,293
I MIGHT NOT
HAVE AGREED TO THIS.
391
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,627
- HEY, WE HAVE
TO HAVE BOUNDARIES
392
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,429
OR THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK.
393
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:20,868
- IT JUST DID WORK, BABE.
TWICE-ISH.
394
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,269
AND A LOT OF WHAT
I JUST DID,
395
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,604
HONEY, FUELED BY SANDWICHES.
396
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:25,605
- OKAY.
YOU GOTTA GO.
397
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,940
- OH, WELL, OKAY.
398
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,542
JUST, CAN I HAVE A WATER?
399
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:30,844
- YEAH.
400
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:33,580
I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
401
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:50,830
- YOU FELT USED?
402
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,299
- AH, A LITTLE BIT.
403
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,867
YES.
404
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,903
- BECAUSE SHE WOULDN'T
GIVE YOU A SANDWICH?
405
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,737
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
406
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,539
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO TIP YOUR HAT,
407
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,408
THANK HER FOR THE SEX,
AND GET YOUR OWN SANDWICH.
408
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,210
IT'S CHICAGO,
YOU CAN'T WALK FIVE FEET
409
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:04,811
WITHOUT RUNNING
INTO A GODDAMN SANDWICH.
410
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,546
- IT'S A VERY GOOD
SANDWICH TOWN.
411
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:09,282
- SHE TAPPED ME
ON THE ASS.
412
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,987
- I THINK A LOT OF GUYS
WOULD LIKE
413
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,056
TO HAVE THERESA TAP THEM
ON THE ASS.
414
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,992
NOT ME, JUST RANDOM GUYS.
415
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,560
- I TAP GUYS ON THE ASS
416
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:21,728
AS THEY LEAVE MY APARTMENT
ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.
417
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,163
IT'S A COMPLIMENT.
418
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,098
- I FELT LIKE
A PIECE OF MEAT.
419
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:26,399
AND THEN I TEXTED HER
THIS MORNING,
420
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,834
TELLING HER
I HAD A GREAT TIME,
421
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,036
AND SHE HASN'T
TEXTED ME BACK YET.
422
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,103
AND I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU SAY.
423
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:31,771
THAT'S A MATTER OF MANNERS.
424
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,273
- OH, MY GOD.
425
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,108
- CHICAGO NORTH 911,
MAN UNCONSCIOUS
426
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,576
AT CORNER OF NORTH KEDZIE
AND DIVISION
427
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,711
INSIDE HUMBOLDT PARK.
428
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,013
- A HALF MILE AWAY.
429
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,916
- AMBULANCE 14 RESPONDING.
430
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:47,921
[siren blaring]
431
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:52,559
- [crying]
432
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,527
- WHAT'S HE ON?
WHAT'S HE ON, MISS?
433
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,796
- HEROIN.
- GREAT.
434
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,765
- DON'T JUDGE US.
- WOULDN'T DREAM OF IT.
435
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,968
HELLO, SIR, WAKE UP.
436
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,569
HE'S STILL GOT A PULSE.
437
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:03,703
BRIAN, THIS IS YOU.
438
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,238
- NARCAN NEEDLE?
439
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,639
OH, MY GOD,
IT'S HAPPENING.
440
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,208
- HERE YOU GO, BRIAN.
- COME ON, DO IT.
441
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,709
- IT'S REALLY HAPPENING,
SERIOUSLY?
442
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,244
- YOU GOT THIS.
- JUST SLAM IT RIGHT IN THERE.
443
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,080
- NO, BUT IN MY CLASS,
THEY SAID THAT I HAVE
444
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,447
TO PUT THE NEEDLE IN SLOW,
UNLESS THE VICTIM'S GONNA--
445
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,216
- PUKE? NO,
YOU GOT A DEAD MAN HERE.
446
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,617
NOT YET, I MEAN,
THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.
447
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,319
- LOOK, DO IT
OR GIVE IT TO ME.
448
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,553
- MY INSTRUCTOR SAID
I HAVE TO PUT IT--
449
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,055
- THEY DON'T PUKE, BRIAN.
450
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,223
THEY WAKE UP
AND THROW CRAZY JUNKIE PUNCHES.
451
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,891
NOW, JAM IT IN
AND THEN DUCK.
452
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,493
GO, GO.
453
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:27,460
- LET'S GO.
JUST STICK IT IN THERE.
454
00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:29,629
- AAH!
455
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,932
- ONE MISSISSIPPI.
456
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:35,735
TWO MISSISSIPPI.
457
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,670
- [gasps]
458
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:38,805
- OH, BABY!
459
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,240
- IT WORKED.
460
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,009
- YOU'RE A HERO, BRIAN.
- ARE YOU OKAY?
461
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,844
- YOU RUINED MY HIGH, MAN.
462
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:47,614
[vomits]
463
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:51,118
- OH.
464
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,819
- LET'S TAKE A PICTURE.
465
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,154
- MISS, WOULD YOU MIND
TAKING A PICTURE
466
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,122
OF THE THREE OF US?
- UH, OKAY.
467
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,823
- BRIAN, HAND HER
YOUR PHONE.
468
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:57,924
- WE'LL CHECK YOUR VITALS
AND EVERYTHING
469
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,359
IN ONE SECOND, SIR.
470
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,593
IT'S ON HIS BUCKET LIST.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
471
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,961
- SURE, YEAH, UH,
OKAY.
472
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,696
I DON'T--
OKAY.
473
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:04,797
- [laughs]
- NICE. GOOD JOB.
474
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:05,999
- I DON'T--
475
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:07,767
- OH, YOU HAVE TO--
476
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,835
- HONEY, THEY CHANGED IT.
477
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:09,769
IT'S RIGHT HERE NOW.
478
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,471
- OH, RIGHT. OKAY.
479
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,006
- SEE. THE KEY
IS I SAY IT TO HER
480
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,874
IN A WAY THAT
DOESN'T DIMINISH HER.
481
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:15,975
- SURE.
- OKAY, OKAY.
482
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,710
[overlapping chatter]
483
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,979
ONE, TWO, THREE.
484
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,787
- DAMN, THOSE
SOME FAST JUNKIES.
485
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,289
GUESS YOU GOT TO BE
MORE CAREFUL WHAT
486
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,657
YOU WISH FOR, HUH, BRIAN?
- YOU KIDDING ME?
487
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,292
I'M GONNA HAVE
THIS MEMORY FOREVER.
488
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,127
- YEAH, BUT YOU AIN'T
GONNA HAVE THAT PICTURE.
489
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:37,730
- IT'S ALL BACKED UP
RIGHT HERE.
490
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,532
- I DON'T GET IT.
491
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:42,369
THERESA AND I ARE ALWAYS
TRYING TO STAY TOGETHER.
492
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,670
WE FIGHT, WE BREAK UP,
WE COME UP
493
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,305
WITH THESE CRAZY SEX PLANS.
494
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,807
AND LOOK AT THESE TWO,
THEY CAN'T EVEN
495
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,076
STAY ALIVE WITHOUT US,
BUT SOMEHOW
496
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,843
THEY CAN
MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK.
497
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,079
LOOK AT THEM, THEY'RE RUNNING
AWAY HOLDING HANDS.
498
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,880
- AW.
499
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:55,515
- WHAT DO THEY HAVE THAT
ME AND THERESA DON'T?
500
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,983
- WELL, THEY DO
SHARE A HOBBY.
501
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,053
- MM.
- [laughs]
502
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,160
- SO THEN HE GOT--
503
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,595
SO THE NEEDLE'S IN,
504
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,064
AND THEN HE JUST
THROWS UP ALL OVER ME.
505
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:14,033
[laughter]
506
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,602
[phone chimes]
507
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:16,836
- SEX ALERT.
508
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,872
- YEAH, BUT I'M
NOT IN THE MOOD,
509
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,741
SO I'M JUST
GONNA IGNORE THAT.
510
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,244
- WHAT KIND OF REACTION
IS THAT TO A SEX ALERT
511
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,045
FROM A PRETTY GIRL,
WHOSE JOB
512
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,881
REQUIRES HER
TO HAVE HANDCUFFS?
513
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:31,584
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU,
LOVE TACO?
514
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:33,052
- YOU KNOW WHAT, JOHNNY,
EVERYBODY'S
515
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,954
GIVING YOU THE BUSINESS
ABOUT BEING PART GIRL,
516
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,523
BUT YOU'RE NOT.
- THANK YOU.
517
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,857
- BECAUSE IF YOU WERE,
YOU WOULD KNOW THAT
518
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,058
THERESA'S TEXTING YOU
RIGHT NOW
519
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,760
BECAUSE SHE WANTS
TO BE WITH YOU.
520
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,195
I'M PART GIRL, AND I KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
521
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,131
THERESA WANTS
TO GET BONED BAD.
522
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:47,033
GO BONE HER.
523
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,202
- LISTEN TO HER.
524
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,870
- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
525
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,572
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
526
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:53,873
I'M GONNA GO OVER THERE,
RIGHT NOW.
527
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,275
- BRING HER SOME FLOWERS.
528
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:58,178
- AND, HERE, DRINK THIS.
- OKAY.
529
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,318
- BRAIN FREEZE.
- PERFECT.
530
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:06,653
YOU THINK TOO MUCH.
- OKAY.
531
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:08,655
- GO.
- HE AIN'T GONNA MAKE IT.
532
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,523
- NO.
533
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,762
[knock at door]
534
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,798
[rock music]
535
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:26,839
*
536
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:35,114
- * BABY,
HERE COMES MY SIGNAL *
537
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:39,986
* RINGING LOUD AND CLEAR
538
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:43,323
* SHOUTING LIKE A BELTONE
539
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:48,127
* IN THE ATMOSPHERE
540
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,330
* THE RIVER IS RISING
541
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:53,132
* I CAN'T HOLD
BACK MUCH LONGER *
542
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,867
* I'LL BE RIGHT OVER,
DARLING *
543
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:58,705
* OH, CAN'T YOU
PICK UP MY SIGNAL *
544
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:02,875
* OH, COMING ON STRONG
545
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:06,846
* OH, THERE CAN BE
NO DENYING *
546
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:10,817
* OH, THIS FEELING
IN MY SOUL *
547
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:14,654
* OH, I'M ROARING LIKE A LION
ON THE INSIDE *
548
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:19,226
* BABY, WON'T YOU
OPEN UP YOUR DOOR *
549
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:22,161
* THE RIVER IS RISING
550
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:24,997
* I CAN'T HOLD BACK
MUCH LONGER *
551
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:27,133
- YO!
552
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,302
- HOLY SHIT.
553
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:32,004
- 25 MINUTES.
- WHAT'D I TELL YOU, HUH?
554
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:33,973
WAS THERE GOOD BONING?
- OH, THERE WAS.
555
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,041
- OH, YEAH!
- WERE THERE HANDCUFFS?
556
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,876
- THERE WERE.
557
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,044
AND MY DAIQUIRI'S
STILL FROZEN.
558
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:40,647
[laughter]
559
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,881
- REST IN PEACE,
LOVE TACO.
560
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,350
[laughter]
561
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,853
- [laughing]
562
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:47,854
- BUT ONLY
IF IT'S REALLY HOT.
563
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:48,855
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
564
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:49,756
- JUST, IN THE WHOLE THING.
565
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:50,857
JUST--
[laughs]
566
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,158
- MANY LAYERS.
567
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,092
- COME ON, TELL ME
WHAT HAPPENED.
568
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,827
- OH, I FEEL AMAZING.
569
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,263
I'M GONNA START BOXING.
570
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,864
DID I TELL YOU
I USED TO BOX?
571
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,098
- NO.
- 'CAUSE I DIDN'T.
572
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,767
- [laughs]
573
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:01,934
- BUT I'M GONNA START NOW.
574
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,570
[both chuckle]
575
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:07,173
I'M GONNA KICKBOX.
WHAA-WHOO-WHAA.
576
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,775
- HEY, EASY, EASY,
MY DASHBOARD.
577
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,076
MY DASHBOARD.
- SORRY. OKAY.
578
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:12,945
THANKS FOR THE RIDE.
- SEE YOU, MAN.
579
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,248
- OH, I FEEL LIKE
A MILLION BUCKS.
580
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,849
WHOO!
581
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,719
- [howls]
- [chuckles]
582
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,020
AHH.
583
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,055
OH, GIVE ME SOME.
584
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,357
NEW DAY, NEW MAN.
585
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,893
I FEEL LIKE A VIKING.
586
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,261
- [laughs]
587
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:29,862
- I'MA FEEL LIKE A VIKING.
588
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,365
I'MA FEEL LIKE A VIKING.
I'MA FEEL LIKE A VIKING.
589
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:35,268
OH, WAIT.
I FORGOT TO ASK YOU.
590
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:36,803
DO YOU THINK IT'S WEIRD
THAT SHE HASN'T
591
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,237
CALLED OR TEXTED OR ANYTHING?
592
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:41,040
I MEAN, IT'S BEEN,
LIKE, THREE HOURS.
593
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,475
- GIVE ME THE PHONE.
- WHAT?
594
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,943
- GIVE ME THE DAMN PHONE.
- NO.
595
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,545
- GIVE ME THE
GODDAMN PHONE, JOHN,
596
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,113
BEFORE YOU RUIN ALL THE PROGRESS
YOU MADE TONIGHT.
597
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,615
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
598
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:49,982
- DON'T BE STUPID.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
599
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,318
- GIVE ME YOUR PHONE, JOHN.
- NO, NO.
600
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,152
GET AWAY.
- YOU BETTER GIVE ME THAT PHONE.
601
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,821
YOU BETTER GIVE ME THAT PHONE!
- GET AWAY FROM ME.
602
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,723
- [laughs]
DON'T BE STUPID.
603
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,392
- [speaking gibberish]
604
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:02,261
- [laughs]
GIVE ME THE PHONE.
605
00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:07,734
- [grunting]
606
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,803
- HEY!
607
00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:15,342
[phone chimes]
608
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:18,345
- YOU THINK THAT WAS HER?
609
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:21,614
THAT WAS TOTALLY HER.
41715
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