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- "The Ms. Pat Show"
was filmed
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00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,759
in front
of a live studio audience.
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00:00:12,827 --> 00:00:14,407
- Isn't it crazy
how far we'll go
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00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,662
to protect somebody we love?
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00:00:16,724 --> 00:00:19,724
Sometimes you might
whoop ass for somebody,
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00:00:19,793 --> 00:00:21,973
even though the motherfucker
that you trying to protect
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00:00:22,034 --> 00:00:24,484
is the one who
needs their ass beat.
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00:00:24,551 --> 00:00:27,451
And sometimes it's
like putting childproof locks
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00:00:27,517 --> 00:00:28,717
on your cabinets.
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00:00:28,793 --> 00:00:31,003
Even though your
child might eat rat poison,
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00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:35,338
the motherfucker
might shut up for a week.
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00:00:35,413 --> 00:00:37,343
There's always
a limit to how much
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00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,213
we can protect
the folks we love.
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00:00:39,275 --> 00:00:41,405
Some things is
out of our control.
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00:00:41,482 --> 00:00:43,522
I can't stop
a plane from crashing,
16
00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:47,516
but I can tell your
ass not to fly Spirit.
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00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:53,860
- Tracy Elliot, an unarmed
Black man, was murdered.
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00:00:53,931 --> 00:00:55,931
- The killing
of Tracy Elliot was captured
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00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,590
on cell phone video.
- Goddamn.
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00:00:57,655 --> 00:00:59,655
- Local stores have been
boarding up their windows
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00:00:59,724 --> 00:01:03,524
out of fear that niggas
have finally lost their minds.
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00:01:03,586 --> 00:01:07,826
- I can't believe them
cops killed that man like that.
23
00:01:07,896 --> 00:01:09,206
- He just died yesterday.
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00:01:09,275 --> 00:01:11,855
How you already got
a rest in peace shirt?
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00:01:11,931 --> 00:01:13,071
- This is America.
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00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:14,587
They make 'em
like Super Bowl t-shirts,
27
00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:17,405
'cause you never know
which lucky nigga gonna win.
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00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:22,688
Anyway, Pat, I looked at your
website like you asked me to,
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00:01:22,758 --> 00:01:25,408
and I gotta say,
it's pretty strong,
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00:01:25,482 --> 00:01:27,522
but this picture
of you gonna need some work.
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00:01:27,586 --> 00:01:30,206
- What? I think I
look good in that picture.
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- Of course you do.
It's from 15 years ago.
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- Fuck you.
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00:01:36,172 --> 00:01:38,312
My new picture's in that file
right there.
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00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,790
- No. No. No.
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00:01:41,862 --> 00:01:44,032
Ooh, hell no. [chuckles]
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00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,143
Okay, now,
hold up now, maybe...
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00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:49,446
No. What you trying to sell,
tickets or ass?
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00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:51,657
- I just want to look like I
know what I'm doing, you know?
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00:01:51,724 --> 00:01:53,414
Like I'm confident
and in control.
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00:01:53,482 --> 00:01:55,032
- Okay, well,
then we're gonna need
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00:01:55,103 --> 00:01:56,723
pictures of Janet Jackson.
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00:01:58,689 --> 00:02:00,479
Ooh, you see this?
44
00:02:00,551 --> 00:02:02,831
- Somebody's breaking into
houses in our neighborhood.
45
00:02:02,896 --> 00:02:05,166
- Huh. Well,
I know none of them better
46
00:02:05,241 --> 00:02:08,031
not touch none of my boxes
of Denise Grease.
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00:02:08,103 --> 00:02:11,523
- Girl, don't nobody
want that bitch-be-bald cream.
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00:02:11,586 --> 00:02:13,686
- Hey, what
y'all talking about?
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00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,138
- Did you see
the emergency meeting
50
00:02:15,206 --> 00:02:16,856
on our Facebook
neighborhood page?
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00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:19,381
- Yep. I just went out
and got a Ring camera.
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00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:20,588
I'm gonna
put it up later on.
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00:02:20,655 --> 00:02:22,205
- I know y'all
not considering going
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00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:23,965
to that
Pink People Panic meeting,
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00:02:24,034 --> 00:02:26,484
especially
after the Tracy Elliot killing.
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00:02:26,551 --> 00:02:28,481
- That ain't got nothing
to do with no Tracy Elliot.
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00:02:28,551 --> 00:02:31,411
I think that this
is a great opportunity
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00:02:31,482 --> 00:02:33,522
to show up
for our neighbors, huh?
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00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:35,376
Y'all got to give this
community a chance like I have.
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00:02:35,448 --> 00:02:36,828
- Y'all are tripping.
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00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:39,376
Whenever people like
that gather to solve a crime,
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00:02:39,448 --> 00:02:41,448
it's always to point
the finger at one direction.
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00:02:41,517 --> 00:02:42,757
Ours.
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00:02:42,827 --> 00:02:45,207
- Oh, that's not always true,
baby girl.
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00:02:45,275 --> 00:02:46,615
I think these folks
are just different.
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00:02:46,689 --> 00:02:48,549
- Are they?
- They are.
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00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,930
Like Caleb next door,
he's a cool dude.
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00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,140
Just yesterday,
he dragged our garbage cans
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00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:54,586
right back up for us.
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00:02:54,655 --> 00:02:55,785
- Nigga, that's 'cause you
always leave them
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00:02:55,862 --> 00:02:57,142
down at the curb.
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00:02:58,965 --> 00:03:01,655
- I'm with Janelle.
We gotta be careful.
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00:03:01,724 --> 00:03:04,934
And I would know, I've
been profiled my entire life.
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00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,550
- You've been
a criminal your entire life.
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00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,620
- Well,
I would go to this meeting
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00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,519
if I didn't have
to go to work. Pat?
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00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:14,546
- What Pat got to do with it?
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00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:16,000
I'm tired of you trying
to make me go
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00:03:16,068 --> 00:03:17,828
to these wack-ass meetings.
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00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:19,516
- That's 'cause
you need to be there.
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00:03:19,586 --> 00:03:22,406
- I'm a thug,
ain't nobody robbing me.
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00:03:22,482 --> 00:03:24,382
- Listen, baby,
it's not about you,
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00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:26,548
it's about the community, okay?
Ah, you know what?
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00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:28,720
You and Denise should
head on down there
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00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:31,623
to show them that we are good
neighbors like everyone else.
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00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,759
- I don't wanna be no
good neighbor.
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00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:35,447
I got insurance.
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00:03:37,068 --> 00:03:39,338
- Actually, Pat,
I think you shouldgo.
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00:03:39,413 --> 00:03:41,383
It could be fun.
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00:03:41,448 --> 00:03:42,968
- You coming too.
91
00:03:43,034 --> 00:03:45,934
- Why? I don't
even live here no more.
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00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,930
- You use our shit
more than we use our shit.
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00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,660
- That's 'cause we family.
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00:03:50,724 --> 00:03:52,384
- Bitch,
we ain't got the same dad.
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00:03:53,896 --> 00:03:56,206
- ♪ Come on,
it's time to go ♪
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00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:58,655
♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪
97
00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:02,969
- I don't know why these people
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00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,034
gotta have a meeting every
time something bad happen.
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00:04:05,103 --> 00:04:06,523
- You ain't lyin'.
100
00:04:06,586 --> 00:04:09,306
- I mean, you know, I got
shot in the head--no meeting.
101
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:13,069
I lost my Section 8
certificate--no meeting.
102
00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:16,407
My best friend, Rehab, OD'd--
no meeting.
103
00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:19,896
- Girl, you see that
man over there looking at me?
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00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:21,335
I don't know why
I've been attracting
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00:04:21,413 --> 00:04:22,663
all these white men lately.
106
00:04:22,724 --> 00:04:25,284
I feel like Candace Owens.
107
00:04:25,344 --> 00:04:27,904
- Girl, that is Caleb,
Terry's friend.
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00:04:27,965 --> 00:04:31,235
- Oh, my gosh. Pat and Denise.
Did you guys get hit, too?
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It's a merchandise massacre.
- No.
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00:04:33,068 --> 00:04:36,028
We just came by for a second
to show our support.
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00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:37,313
- That's so kind.
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00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:39,029
- We came. We supported.
We out.
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00:04:39,103 --> 00:04:42,313
- Pat.
- Hello, Caleb.
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00:04:42,379 --> 00:04:44,069
- Good to see you here.
Where's Terry?
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00:04:44,137 --> 00:04:45,407
- He had to work.
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00:04:45,482 --> 00:04:46,522
- Well, you're gonna
have to fill him in.
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00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:48,831
Shame what's been going on.
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00:04:48,896 --> 00:04:50,136
- They robbed you, too?
- Yeah.
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00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,476
Bastard stole
the TV right out of my garage.
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00:04:52,551 --> 00:04:55,411
- Fuck you doing with a TV
in your garage, Caleb?
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00:04:55,482 --> 00:04:58,142
- Wasn't a problem before.
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00:04:58,206 --> 00:05:00,546
It's crazy how your
house is the only one that
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00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:01,830
hasn't been robbed.
124
00:05:01,896 --> 00:05:03,336
- No, but it's
getting so scary.
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00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:05,413
I even put a "Beware Of Dog"
sign in my yard,
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00:05:05,482 --> 00:05:06,862
even though
I really have a cat.
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00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:10,691
- I got a sign that say,
"Fuck a dog, beware of owner."
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00:05:10,758 --> 00:05:12,618
- You really think that's
the reason
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00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:14,519
why you haven't been robbed?
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00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:19,073
Well, ladies,
make sure you grab a slice
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00:05:19,137 --> 00:05:21,137
of my legendary
four-layer chocolate cake.
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00:05:21,206 --> 00:05:22,306
[chuckles]
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00:05:22,379 --> 00:05:23,829
- Mm-mm, girl.
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00:05:23,896 --> 00:05:25,996
Look like he don't wash
his hands when he cook.
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00:05:26,068 --> 00:05:29,788
Don't nobody want
none of that piss cake.
136
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:31,482
- Well,
Terry likes his cake,
137
00:05:31,551 --> 00:05:33,521
so I'm gonna get a slice
and we can go.
138
00:05:33,586 --> 00:05:35,026
- Okay, folks,
let's get started.
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00:05:35,103 --> 00:05:36,933
- Too late.
140
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,410
- As president
of the neighborhood watch,
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00:05:39,482 --> 00:05:42,592
I want to encourage
us all to stay vigilant.
142
00:05:42,655 --> 00:05:45,065
Now, show of hands, whose
houses have been hit so far?
143
00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:50,690
- That's how they look at
me when I walk into Nordstrom.
144
00:05:50,758 --> 00:05:53,718
- Yeah, well, um,
I have some good news that's
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00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:57,143
bringing us one step closer
to nailing this bastard down.
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00:05:57,206 --> 00:05:58,826
- Good, because we're
gonna help you kick his ass.
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00:05:58,896 --> 00:06:02,066
- Yeah, some
real community bonding.
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00:06:03,586 --> 00:06:06,546
- Yeah, well,
based on surveillance footage
149
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:08,280
from around the neighborhood,
150
00:06:08,344 --> 00:06:14,484
we were able to render a sketch
of the robber.
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00:06:14,551 --> 00:06:17,691
- Oh, my God.
- I know that ain't...
152
00:06:17,758 --> 00:06:20,138
- That's...Rick Ross.
153
00:06:21,655 --> 00:06:23,925
- This is fucked up.
154
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,480
Why he didn't
let us know nothing?
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00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:29,721
I needed a new TV.
- Bitch.
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00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:33,860
- Caleb cake so good,
157
00:06:33,931 --> 00:06:36,411
I don't even care
if it's a little pissy.
158
00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:40,408
- What am I gonna do?
159
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:42,622
Terry been so damn happy
since we moved here.
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00:06:42,689 --> 00:06:44,659
How am I gonna tell
him they think he's a thief?
161
00:06:44,724 --> 00:06:45,724
- Maybe you're overreacting.
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00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:47,933
- Oh, my God, you guys!
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00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,860
That sketch,
it looked exactly like Terry.
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00:06:50,931 --> 00:06:52,721
If you squinted,
maybe Suge Knight,
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00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:54,213
but, no, it was Terry.
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00:06:54,275 --> 00:06:55,715
- See?
167
00:06:55,793 --> 00:06:59,483
- I know it's not Terry.
Of course it's not, Terry.
168
00:06:59,551 --> 00:07:02,241
It's not Terry, is it?
169
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:03,760
- Hell no!
170
00:07:03,827 --> 00:07:06,207
- Right.
Of course. Exactly.
171
00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:09,615
Anyway, I just came over
to see if you two were okay.
172
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:11,139
- No, we're not.
173
00:07:11,206 --> 00:07:13,826
They trying to get
the police to kill my husband.
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00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:16,236
Then I gotta go on the news
and say he was innocent.
175
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:19,070
And you know that damn
Tucker Carlson is gonna say
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00:07:19,137 --> 00:07:23,167
he was a drug dealer
and he responsible for 9/11.
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00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,592
[cell phone chiming]
178
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:29,515
This is all the neighbors
texting me their support.
179
00:07:29,586 --> 00:07:30,966
- Well, that's nice.
180
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,594
- It would have been
nice if they showed me they
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00:07:32,655 --> 00:07:33,995
support while we
was at the meeting.
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00:07:34,068 --> 00:07:36,028
Now they all want to hide
behind they damn phone.
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00:07:36,103 --> 00:07:38,383
- And I am sorry about that,
but I just don't
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00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:40,588
think anyone
in this neighborhood
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00:07:40,655 --> 00:07:43,855
seriously thinks
Terry is the robber.
186
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,861
Okay, let me rephrase that.
187
00:07:45,931 --> 00:07:48,901
I don't think anyone
in this neighborhood seriously
188
00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:51,715
thinks Terry is the robber,
except Caleb.
189
00:07:51,793 --> 00:07:54,313
- What? Caleb
thinks dad's the robber?
190
00:07:54,379 --> 00:07:56,519
- Yeah, well, we don't know.
191
00:07:56,586 --> 00:07:58,826
- Oh, this is
the best day of my life.
192
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,616
My Black card just
got a credit increase.
193
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,549
Oh, hey, Dad.
194
00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:06,170
Did you hear? They think you--
[muffled]
195
00:08:06,241 --> 00:08:10,101
- Whoa, whoa.
Is that my boy Caleb's cake?
196
00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:11,552
- It's Junebug's now.
197
00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:14,140
Get the fuck out of here
before you fuck up my carpet.
198
00:08:14,206 --> 00:08:17,236
- Yeah!
Mm. Mmm-mmm-mmm. [chuckles]
199
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:19,410
Hey, baby, how was
the community meeting, huh?
200
00:08:19,482 --> 00:08:21,032
- Great.
201
00:08:21,103 --> 00:08:22,413
- Aren't y'all
glad you all went?
202
00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:24,102
- Mm-hmm.
- See?
203
00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:27,592
You a real
suburban neighbor now.
204
00:08:31,413 --> 00:08:32,723
- That's a dead nigga walking.
205
00:08:35,896 --> 00:08:38,136
- We have
to protect him from this.
206
00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:39,376
- What are we gonna do?
207
00:08:39,448 --> 00:08:41,098
Rob ourself
to get Caleb off our back.
208
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:44,972
- That's actually a good idea.
- Yeah, it kind of is.
209
00:08:45,034 --> 00:08:46,524
- I was just joking,
and, you know,
210
00:08:46,586 --> 00:08:47,826
that crazy shit won't work.
211
00:08:47,896 --> 00:08:50,096
Plus, all of this
is gonna blow over.
212
00:08:50,172 --> 00:08:51,522
[doorbell chimes]
213
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,554
- Hello, ladies.
214
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:58,930
- Looks like I can go on ahead
and print them Terry shirts.
215
00:09:02,172 --> 00:09:03,592
- What y'all want?
216
00:09:03,655 --> 00:09:05,515
- We were contacted by
your local neighborhood watch.
217
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:06,786
- Oh, you mean Caleb?
218
00:09:06,862 --> 00:09:08,142
- We're just
checking in on everyone
219
00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:09,476
on the street,
making sure everything is okay.
220
00:09:09,551 --> 00:09:11,931
- We're fine, officer.
- I'm glad to hear it.
221
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,660
Is your husband around,
by any chance?
222
00:09:13,724 --> 00:09:15,794
- No.
What you want with him?
223
00:09:15,862 --> 00:09:17,792
- No, nothing. Again,
this is all just routine.
224
00:09:17,862 --> 00:09:19,522
Call us if you need anything.
225
00:09:19,586 --> 00:09:20,996
- Thank you, officers.
- Mm-hmm.
226
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,925
- And Black Lives Matter!
227
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:34,209
Did I use that wrong?
228
00:09:34,275 --> 00:09:37,305
- Well, if you got
to think about it then...
229
00:09:37,379 --> 00:09:39,999
- Why the hell would
he send them over here?
230
00:09:40,068 --> 00:09:43,238
- 'Cause they building a case.
We gotta do something.
231
00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:45,000
- Can we just
say we got robbed?
232
00:09:45,068 --> 00:09:46,758
- I just don't
think that's enough.
233
00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:48,207
Caleb has
cameras set up everywhere.
234
00:09:48,275 --> 00:09:49,895
He'll know.
235
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,685
But I do have a pair
of leather gloves
236
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,658
I've been dying to break in.
237
00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:56,664
- Okay, and I got
a new set of tools
238
00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:58,764
I've been dying
to use on a break in.
239
00:09:58,827 --> 00:10:00,277
[chuckles]
You in, Pat-Pat?
240
00:10:00,344 --> 00:10:01,764
- Do you really think
to prove that we ain't robbing,
241
00:10:01,827 --> 00:10:02,997
we gotta rob?
242
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:07,930
That's some dumb shit.
243
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,970
I'm in.
- [squeals]
244
00:10:11,034 --> 00:10:12,384
- Okay, y'all, here's the plan.
245
00:10:12,448 --> 00:10:14,718
- Can I just say I think
this whole thing is stupid?
246
00:10:14,793 --> 00:10:16,973
- Ain't nobody asked you shit.
247
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,864
- I just think you shouldn't
be hiding this from dad.
248
00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:20,141
- Okay, well, can I just say
249
00:10:20,206 --> 00:10:22,306
I think what we're doing
here is very smart.
250
00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:24,449
- And can I just say that
most people don't think
251
00:10:24,517 --> 00:10:26,137
you're very smart.
252
00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:28,856
- Besides my teachers, Janelle,
who are most people.
253
00:10:30,275 --> 00:10:31,445
Come on, Mother.
254
00:10:31,517 --> 00:10:33,027
- We're doing
this shit at 2:00 a.m.,
255
00:10:33,103 --> 00:10:34,903
while Terry's
knocked the fuck out.
256
00:10:34,965 --> 00:10:37,715
- You don't think all the noise
is gonna wake him up?
257
00:10:37,793 --> 00:10:39,903
- Girl, Terry would
sleep through slavery.
258
00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:45,170
- Another thing we need
to make sure of is that Brandon
259
00:10:45,241 --> 00:10:46,971
doesn't find out
about any of this.
260
00:10:47,034 --> 00:10:48,174
- So I was actually
thinking Brandon would
261
00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:49,931
be a great
addition to the team,
262
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,170
because Oceans had 11
and we only have...
263
00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:55,521
four.
- Mm-mm.
264
00:10:55,586 --> 00:10:58,306
Brandon couldn't keep a secret
if it was tatted on his tongue.
265
00:10:58,379 --> 00:11:00,069
- Oh.
266
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:02,517
- Where the fuck are
you going looking like
267
00:11:02,586 --> 00:11:05,336
Bob The Broke-Ass Builder?
268
00:11:05,413 --> 00:11:07,003
- Dad told me
about them robberies
269
00:11:07,068 --> 00:11:08,618
so I went on ahead
and bought me some traps.
270
00:11:08,689 --> 00:11:10,309
I got to protect
my gaming equipment.
271
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:12,279
How y'all just sitting
here doing nothing when
272
00:11:12,344 --> 00:11:15,244
there's somebody robbing
and raping people out there?
273
00:11:15,310 --> 00:11:17,140
- Nobody said
nothing about no rape.
274
00:11:17,206 --> 00:11:19,716
- Robbing leads to raping,
Aunt Denise.
275
00:11:21,241 --> 00:11:23,861
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna catch me a predator
276
00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:25,211
before he tries
to catch my booty.
277
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,664
- If you want
to catch a predator,
278
00:11:28,724 --> 00:11:31,794
all you had to do is
ask me to call your real daddy.
279
00:11:33,517 --> 00:11:35,927
- I'm telling you
right now Inspector Ratchet,
280
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,210
he going to be
a problem for us.
281
00:11:38,275 --> 00:11:40,165
Junebug,
I'm gonna need you on his ass
282
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,521
like Jordans
on a broke nigga.
283
00:11:43,551 --> 00:11:47,001
- Okay, so Caleb's cameras are
across the street right here,
284
00:11:47,068 --> 00:11:50,408
and they'll catch you, Pat,
breaking in here and here.
285
00:11:50,482 --> 00:11:53,382
- Why I gotta be the robber?
286
00:11:53,448 --> 00:11:57,238
- Well, you just
have certain abilities.
287
00:11:57,310 --> 00:12:01,000
- She trying to say
you good at stealing shit.
288
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:04,208
- Bitch.
289
00:12:04,275 --> 00:12:06,205
You right, though.
- Mm-hmm.
290
00:12:06,275 --> 00:12:07,855
- And we're going
to use your soccer mom van
291
00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:08,931
to put all
the stolen shit in.
292
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,590
- Oh.
Copy that.
293
00:12:10,655 --> 00:12:11,895
- And then we're
going to upload
294
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,895
all the footage
on our Facebook page.
295
00:12:14,965 --> 00:12:17,895
- Hey, what
y'all up to in here?
296
00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:19,375
- We're just talking
about what to do
297
00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:23,068
when your husband dick
don't work no more.
298
00:12:23,137 --> 00:12:26,547
- You ain't got nothing
to add to that conversation.
299
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,720
- Not yet.
300
00:12:30,379 --> 00:12:31,929
So you finished putting up
the Ring camera?
301
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,280
- Yeah, yeah.
302
00:12:33,344 --> 00:12:35,484
I was just outside having
a chat with my boy Caleb.
303
00:12:35,551 --> 00:12:38,211
- Oh, my God. Terry,
I am so sorry. What did he say?
304
00:12:38,275 --> 00:12:39,755
- Elizabeth.
305
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:42,307
- What are you talking about,
Elizabeth?
306
00:12:42,379 --> 00:12:43,409
- That's nice, baby.
307
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:44,762
I'm glad you two
is hitting it off.
308
00:12:44,827 --> 00:12:47,757
- Yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm on.
309
00:12:47,827 --> 00:12:49,897
Going and rest
these dogs for a bit.
310
00:12:52,034 --> 00:12:55,764
How come we can't
just expose KK-Caleb?
311
00:12:55,827 --> 00:12:58,097
- Because it would devastate
Terry to find out that his only
312
00:12:58,172 --> 00:13:01,862
one white friend
is a stale cracker.
313
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:03,721
No offense, Elizabeth.
314
00:13:03,793 --> 00:13:06,313
- None taken.
I'm no saltine.
315
00:13:19,413 --> 00:13:20,833
- It's almost cute
how little you know
316
00:13:20,896 --> 00:13:22,406
about committing crimes.
317
00:13:22,482 --> 00:13:23,692
What the fuck Denise say?
318
00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:25,138
- [clears throat]
319
00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:28,236
Black Dynamite to
Loretta Devine, what's your 20?
320
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:31,100
- Apurate, papi,
estoy esperando.
321
00:13:31,172 --> 00:13:34,722
- What kind of freaky
Mexican shit is that?
322
00:13:34,793 --> 00:13:36,553
- This thing keeps
tuning into the wrong channel.
323
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:39,660
- Junebug! Junebug,
you there? I need help.
324
00:13:39,724 --> 00:13:40,934
- Where the hell you at?
325
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,590
You supposed to be here
at 0200 hours.
326
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,475
- I'm stuck on the toilet.
Y'all out of baby wipes again.
327
00:13:45,551 --> 00:13:47,071
- [sighs]
Go get her some baby wipes.
328
00:13:47,137 --> 00:13:49,657
I'ma still
stealing this shit by myself.
329
00:13:49,724 --> 00:13:52,004
- Oh, but make sure
you walk past the Ring.
330
00:13:52,068 --> 00:13:54,408
Remember, you want
to get caught on camera.
331
00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:55,592
- I know what I'm doing.
332
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:57,205
This ain't
my first home invasion.
333
00:14:05,827 --> 00:14:07,097
Fuck.
334
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,587
Fuck.
335
00:14:15,344 --> 00:14:17,104
[grunts]
336
00:14:18,827 --> 00:14:20,337
[grunts]
337
00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:23,408
[grunts]
338
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:32,168
[grunting]
339
00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:46,685
Shit...
340
00:14:46,758 --> 00:14:50,588
that felt good.
341
00:14:50,655 --> 00:14:51,925
Fuck!
342
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,480
Bitch, you live here.
343
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:56,071
Damn.
344
00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:07,000
- Hey. What you
doing up so late, man?
345
00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:10,238
- You know, I couldn't sleep,
so I thought I'd check on you.
346
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,590
- Oh, I appreciate that.
347
00:15:11,655 --> 00:15:13,715
But, uh, gotta be
careful out here, all right?
348
00:15:13,793 --> 00:15:16,343
I got a bunch of booby traps,
349
00:15:16,413 --> 00:15:18,243
and I'm not talking
about "Home Alone" traps.
350
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:20,970
I'm talking about
"We hunting wabbits" traps.
351
00:15:21,034 --> 00:15:22,554
Okay?
352
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:28,100
- Ooh, okay. Yeah, yeah,
that's, uh, that's hardcore.
353
00:15:28,172 --> 00:15:29,212
- You know,
I was just getting ready
354
00:15:29,275 --> 00:15:30,165
to go inside to get a snack.
355
00:15:30,241 --> 00:15:31,591
- Oh, wait, no, no. Uh...
356
00:15:31,655 --> 00:15:34,165
Don't leave me.
- What's wrong with you, man?
357
00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:35,311
Are you scared?
358
00:15:35,379 --> 00:15:36,789
- Uh...
- Hey, look, man.
359
00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:38,592
I ain't gonna let nothing
happen to you, all right?
360
00:15:38,655 --> 00:15:40,305
I got your back.
361
00:15:40,379 --> 00:15:42,859
Plus, you got to remember,
I'm one half of a hood zipper.
362
00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:44,791
- Thanks, dog.
363
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:46,212
You're a good brother.
364
00:15:46,275 --> 00:15:48,405
- Yeah. I also got $10,000
worth of equipment
365
00:15:48,482 --> 00:15:50,482
downstairs,
so really, it's more about...
366
00:15:52,172 --> 00:15:53,592
You're welcome, man.
367
00:15:53,655 --> 00:15:55,545
- Hey. You, uh...
368
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,550
sure you know what you're
doing with all this stuff?
369
00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:00,310
- Hell, yeah. I dare
anyone to try to get past me.
370
00:16:00,379 --> 00:16:02,759
- See, I used to keep my ass
kicking to them video games,
371
00:16:02,827 --> 00:16:04,717
but I really feel
like I'm going meta tonight.
372
00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:07,073
- [woman speaking Spanish
on radio]
373
00:16:07,137 --> 00:16:08,617
- What the hell was that?
374
00:16:08,689 --> 00:16:10,549
- Uh, that's the robber.
375
00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:12,340
Someone in trouble
at the Wilson house.
376
00:16:12,413 --> 00:16:14,343
- Sounds like he
moved from robbing to raping.
377
00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:16,623
Don't worry.
Help is on the way!
378
00:16:16,689 --> 00:16:19,999
If something happens to me,
delete my browser history.
379
00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:25,026
- Oh, hey, Ma.
380
00:16:25,103 --> 00:16:26,933
[laughs]
I got the house all empty.
381
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,590
Take your time.
382
00:16:35,172 --> 00:16:37,972
- [snoring]
383
00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:39,214
[quietly]
Baby, you hear that?
384
00:16:40,551 --> 00:16:41,931
Baby.
385
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,140
[groans]
386
00:16:53,344 --> 00:16:54,554
Baby, somebody's in the house,
387
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:57,280
you just stay in there
and lock the door.
388
00:17:03,758 --> 00:17:05,448
[karate yell]
389
00:17:05,517 --> 00:17:07,027
Ah, shit!
390
00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:11,477
- Pat, thank you for letting
391
00:17:11,551 --> 00:17:14,211
Junebug bring me those
baby wipes.
392
00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:16,135
It was regular
toilet paper there,
393
00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:18,896
but you know my ass
need VIP treatment.
394
00:17:18,965 --> 00:17:20,305
What is you doing?
395
00:17:20,379 --> 00:17:21,999
You defeating the purpose.
396
00:17:22,068 --> 00:17:23,238
If you gonna take shit,
397
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,720
take the shit
that's worth something.
398
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:27,173
Goddamn.
399
00:17:27,241 --> 00:17:30,551
Oh, and don't forget
the flower jar
400
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:33,410
where you keep all
the rainy day cash.
401
00:17:33,482 --> 00:17:34,862
[laughs]
402
00:17:34,931 --> 00:17:36,411
Yeah, now put it in here
403
00:17:36,482 --> 00:17:37,902
and come on,
let's go to the basement
404
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:40,135
so I can help you get all
of Brandon's video game shit.
405
00:17:40,206 --> 00:17:42,716
Now, that's 4 grand easy.
[chuckles]
406
00:17:42,793 --> 00:17:46,243
I miss this.
This is really fun.
407
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:54,590
- [grunting]
408
00:18:19,172 --> 00:18:21,792
- Ah! Shit!
409
00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:23,282
I hope you ready to die!
410
00:18:23,344 --> 00:18:25,624
- You just gonna beat
the shit out your wife, Terry.
411
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:26,789
- Pat?
412
00:18:26,862 --> 00:18:28,762
- What is going on?
413
00:18:28,827 --> 00:18:30,927
- You remember when Pookie
was robbing that house
414
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,690
and he had us call 911
because his fat ass
415
00:18:33,758 --> 00:18:36,138
got stuck trying
to climb out the window--
416
00:18:38,344 --> 00:18:39,974
Oh, shit.
- That's the real robber!
417
00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:41,174
Get him, Terry!
418
00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:43,446
- Hey, Mom.
419
00:18:43,517 --> 00:18:45,617
- Get over here!
- Hey, Mom.
420
00:18:52,896 --> 00:18:54,616
- [shouts]
421
00:18:54,689 --> 00:18:55,929
- Call the police!
422
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,280
- No!
423
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,694
- What? But this is my first
citizen's arrest.
424
00:18:59,758 --> 00:19:01,618
- I'm a convicted
felon with a ski mask on,
425
00:19:01,689 --> 00:19:03,479
we ain't
calling no damn police.
426
00:19:05,724 --> 00:19:08,764
Shit. I was
hoping you was white.
427
00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:11,787
- The hell wrong with you
coming up in my family house?
428
00:19:11,862 --> 00:19:13,212
- Um-um-um-um...
429
00:19:13,275 --> 00:19:15,855
- Um-um-um-um--I'm about
to get some fucking answers.
430
00:19:15,931 --> 00:19:17,141
I know that.
- Mm-hmm.
431
00:19:17,206 --> 00:19:19,166
- I can't believe
you tried to rape us.
432
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,141
- What's taking you so long?
433
00:19:21,206 --> 00:19:23,406
I've been waiting
in the getaway van.
434
00:19:23,482 --> 00:19:26,242
Shit. I was
hoping you were white.
435
00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:29,340
- Look, I'm sorry. I just--
just have to feed my family.
436
00:19:29,413 --> 00:19:30,763
I don't meant to bother nobody.
437
00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:33,407
- Feed your family?
Nigga, stop eating seconds!
438
00:19:33,482 --> 00:19:35,862
- And why did you rob us last?
439
00:19:35,931 --> 00:19:37,141
Is it 'cause we Black?
440
00:19:37,206 --> 00:19:39,446
- Janelle, shh!
441
00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:41,897
- Well, she not lying.
I didn't think y'all had shit.
442
00:19:45,482 --> 00:19:47,342
- I can't believe
you let him go, Ma.
443
00:19:47,413 --> 00:19:49,453
- He said he was doing it
to just feed his family,
444
00:19:49,517 --> 00:19:50,687
and I believed him.
445
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:52,998
Hell, somebody
gave me a second chance.
446
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,968
- And me a 12th chance.
447
00:19:56,034 --> 00:19:58,384
- I still think we
should have called the police.
448
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,828
- Nah, I'm good
on a bullet for tonight.
449
00:20:00,896 --> 00:20:03,786
- I'm just glad it's over.
Everybody sleep easy tonight.
450
00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,340
- Lucy and Ethel.
451
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:13,720
- Ethel 'bout
to take her Black ass home.
452
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:16,900
- Shit.
453
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,655
- The hell was going
on up in here tonight?
454
00:20:19,724 --> 00:20:22,384
Why are you
robbing our own house?
455
00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:26,794
- Well, we...
- Don't you lie to me, Pat.
456
00:20:26,862 --> 00:20:28,692
- Look, I don't
know how to tell you this,
457
00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:31,758
but your best friend Caleb was
out here profiling your ass.
458
00:20:31,827 --> 00:20:35,097
All the neighbors
think you the robber.
459
00:20:35,172 --> 00:20:36,932
- Why would you keep
something like that from me?
460
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,520
- Because I love
the way you see the world.
461
00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:41,476
And it's the way
the world is supposed to be.
462
00:20:41,551 --> 00:20:44,171
I just didn't
want you to get hurt.
463
00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:47,311
But look on the bright side, we
still got good people out here.
464
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:49,309
Elizabeth even
helped us tonight.
465
00:20:49,379 --> 00:20:53,689
It's still a nice and safe
place to raise our kids.
466
00:20:53,758 --> 00:20:56,338
As long as we don't
bring no more of my family.
467
00:20:58,103 --> 00:21:00,383
- I'm disappointed in Caleb.
468
00:21:00,448 --> 00:21:06,028
Not shocked,
but disappointed. [sighs]
469
00:21:06,103 --> 00:21:08,523
- I'm sorry.
- I know you are.
470
00:21:08,586 --> 00:21:10,716
But I just
can't believe that you
471
00:21:10,793 --> 00:21:13,693
would hide all
this stuff from me.
472
00:21:13,758 --> 00:21:16,998
This is reality,
baby, no matter where we go.
473
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:21,688
My grandma used to say
being colored in this country
474
00:21:21,758 --> 00:21:26,238
is like a blues song waiting
for the next verse to start.
475
00:21:27,689 --> 00:21:29,479
- That's why I was
trying to protect you,
476
00:21:29,551 --> 00:21:32,001
because I didn't want you
to be the next Tracy Elliot.
477
00:21:32,068 --> 00:21:35,098
- I already am Tracy Elliot.
478
00:21:35,172 --> 00:21:38,622
You can't hide the threat.
479
00:21:38,689 --> 00:21:40,169
See?
480
00:21:40,241 --> 00:21:43,411
All you got to do is help
me live bigger than the threat.
481
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,280
- I hear you.
482
00:21:48,551 --> 00:21:49,691
You gonna be okay?
483
00:21:49,758 --> 00:21:51,618
- Yeah, baby, I'll be fine.
484
00:21:53,827 --> 00:21:57,827
One rotten tooth don't
mess up the whole smile.
485
00:21:57,896 --> 00:22:00,686
- But it do
make funky-ass breath.
486
00:22:00,758 --> 00:22:02,028
- [laughs]
487
00:22:09,379 --> 00:22:11,589
[birds chirping]
488
00:22:19,896 --> 00:22:22,336
What the hell?
489
00:22:22,413 --> 00:22:23,903
- Pat, where's
the coffee maker?
490
00:22:23,965 --> 00:22:25,615
- Mama, I'm
in the championship today.
491
00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:27,139
Can you put my
gaming system back, please?
492
00:22:27,206 --> 00:22:28,276
- I don't have that shit.
493
00:22:28,344 --> 00:22:30,624
- What?
- You mean...
494
00:22:30,689 --> 00:22:32,999
- That bastard
came back and got us.
495
00:22:33,068 --> 00:22:34,618
- Oh, my Lord.
496
00:22:34,689 --> 00:22:36,339
- Told you we should
have called the police.
497
00:22:36,413 --> 00:22:38,213
- The one time
I try to be nice.
498
00:22:38,275 --> 00:22:41,135
This motherfucking neighborhood
is making me soft.
499
00:22:41,206 --> 00:22:42,616
See, back in the 90's,
500
00:22:42,689 --> 00:22:45,279
I would have slit that
nigga throat with a Jodeci CD.
501
00:22:45,344 --> 00:22:46,904
[doorbell chimes]
502
00:22:49,689 --> 00:22:52,209
- Hey.
- Oh. Hi!
503
00:22:52,275 --> 00:22:54,995
I heard you guys got robbed...
504
00:22:55,068 --> 00:22:58,998
by a white guy.
505
00:23:01,206 --> 00:23:03,656
- That bastard got everything.
506
00:23:03,724 --> 00:23:05,834
- Well,
we are all just so sorry.
507
00:23:05,896 --> 00:23:09,406
And if there's anything that
we can do, please let us know.
508
00:23:09,482 --> 00:23:12,932
I mean, we're--we're neighbors,
and we have to stick together.
509
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,900
- Thank you.
Y'all good people.
510
00:23:15,965 --> 00:23:18,785
But there's too many white
people in my house. Now, go on.
511
00:23:21,724 --> 00:23:24,794
Y'all make me want
to throw away my seasoning.
512
00:23:32,275 --> 00:23:33,925
[sighs]
513
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:34,900
[knocking on door]
514
00:23:36,241 --> 00:23:38,451
Caleb.
515
00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:40,477
- Saw the whole
thing on the cameras.
516
00:23:40,551 --> 00:23:42,281
There were two of 'em.
517
00:23:42,344 --> 00:23:43,864
- Neither one of them were me.
518
00:23:43,931 --> 00:23:48,411
- Terry, I'm--
all I can say is I am sorry.
519
00:23:48,482 --> 00:23:51,452
I sincerely apologize.
520
00:23:51,517 --> 00:23:53,167
I never want
to assume anything like that,
521
00:23:53,241 --> 00:23:57,341
especially with the climate,
the way things are.
522
00:23:57,413 --> 00:23:59,723
I should have known better.
523
00:23:59,793 --> 00:24:01,103
- Got it.
524
00:24:02,517 --> 00:24:04,547
- Look,
I remembered how much you
525
00:24:04,620 --> 00:24:09,170
enjoyed my chocolate cake,
so I made one
526
00:24:09,241 --> 00:24:12,071
just for you.
527
00:24:14,103 --> 00:24:17,243
Terry,
none of this was personal.
528
00:24:17,310 --> 00:24:22,100
You are a great neighbor
and I am glad we're friends.
529
00:24:22,172 --> 00:24:23,972
- Right?
530
00:24:24,034 --> 00:24:27,214
- Right.
See you around, Caleb.
531
00:24:32,413 --> 00:24:34,033
[sighs]
532
00:24:59,655 --> 00:25:00,895
[chuckles]
533
00:25:05,689 --> 00:25:07,099
- I was gonna eat that.
534
00:25:15,172 --> 00:25:17,002
[all laughing]
535
00:25:20,448 --> 00:25:21,898
- What y'all laughing at?
536
00:25:21,965 --> 00:25:24,715
We just watching you
on this good surveillance tape.
537
00:25:24,793 --> 00:25:28,343
Look, that door
tearing your butt up! [laughs]
538
00:25:28,413 --> 00:25:31,213
- I hope one day Black people
don't have to go through this.
539
00:25:31,275 --> 00:25:33,445
- Black people don't
ever have to go through this.
540
00:25:33,517 --> 00:25:34,897
Mama chose to.
541
00:25:36,344 --> 00:25:39,074
- I guess that's what
we got to do to fit in, huh?
542
00:25:39,137 --> 00:25:43,337
- Nothing has to fit
in where it already belongs.
543
00:25:43,413 --> 00:25:45,103
- Tell that shit to my Spanx.
544
00:25:47,724 --> 00:25:50,004
[laughing]
545
00:25:51,068 --> 00:25:51,998
- She mad!
546
00:25:54,655 --> 00:25:55,785
Fuck y'all!
547
00:26:03,275 --> 00:26:05,655
- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
548
00:26:05,724 --> 00:26:07,694
♪ And she don't
take no stuff ♪
549
00:26:07,758 --> 00:26:09,618
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
550
00:26:09,689 --> 00:26:11,859
♪ And you can't get enough ♪
551
00:26:11,931 --> 00:26:14,001
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
552
00:26:14,068 --> 00:26:16,138
♪ With three damn kids ♪
553
00:26:16,206 --> 00:26:19,306
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
554
00:26:19,379 --> 00:26:25,139
♪ And it's
"The Ms. Pat Show" ♪
555
00:26:25,189 --> 00:26:29,739
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