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1
00:00:00,546 --> 00:00:03,490
? Came through, all
juice, no introduction ?
2
00:00:03,490 --> 00:00:04,950
? Same dude, guess who,
up from the dungeon ?
3
00:00:04,950 --> 00:00:06,952
? No whip, just Lyft
right to the function ?
4
00:00:06,952 --> 00:00:08,162
? I spit that ?
5
00:00:08,162 --> 00:00:09,830
First semester's coming to an end,
6
00:00:09,830 --> 00:00:12,458
and your boy is already
makin' a name for himself.
7
00:00:12,458 --> 00:00:14,293
Junior! My man.
8
00:00:14,293 --> 00:00:16,420
Yo.
9
00:00:16,420 --> 00:00:18,047
And it's been pretty eventful.
10
00:00:18,047 --> 00:00:21,091
I got snatched up by a secret society,
11
00:00:21,091 --> 00:00:22,634
I had a run-in with the cops,
12
00:00:22,634 --> 00:00:24,428
and I got caught with my ass out...
13
00:00:24,428 --> 00:00:26,180
- [Screaming]
- ... for the second time
14
00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:27,222
by my sister.
15
00:00:27,222 --> 00:00:29,808
I also got close with Annika.
16
00:00:29,808 --> 00:00:32,019
Junior, of course I like you.
17
00:00:32,019 --> 00:00:34,480
I knew it.
18
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:36,440
Well, close enough to get friend-zoned.
19
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,777
But I'm seeing someone.
20
00:00:39,777 --> 00:00:40,944
You are?
21
00:00:40,944 --> 00:00:42,446
Which I'm cool with.
22
00:00:42,446 --> 00:00:44,406
You know, Superman and
Wonder Woman, they're friends.
23
00:00:44,406 --> 00:00:45,866
Look at all the good they do.
24
00:00:45,866 --> 00:00:47,159
- 'Sup, Junior.
- 'Sup.
25
00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:50,287
Come through.
26
00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:51,914
Bet.
27
00:00:51,914 --> 00:00:54,666
? Got the keys with it, ooh, ah ?
28
00:00:54,666 --> 00:00:55,834
Looking good, Junior.
29
00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:57,753
Thanks...
30
00:00:57,753 --> 00:01:00,714
Girl I Don't Know.
31
00:01:00,714 --> 00:01:03,509
Anyway, all I gotta do
is get through my finals,
32
00:01:03,509 --> 00:01:06,553
and Andre Johnson Jr.
has officially survived
33
00:01:06,553 --> 00:01:09,056
his first semester of college unscathed.
34
00:01:09,056 --> 00:01:10,307
? Come through ?
35
00:01:10,307 --> 00:01:13,435
??
36
00:01:13,435 --> 00:01:15,729
[Sighs] Please don't let this be
37
00:01:15,729 --> 00:01:17,064
another weird frat thing.
38
00:01:18,982 --> 00:01:21,610
[Exhales deeply]
39
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:24,113
What the hell?
40
00:01:24,113 --> 00:01:26,198
??
41
00:01:26,198 --> 00:01:28,325
Yo.
42
00:01:28,325 --> 00:01:33,163
??
43
00:01:33,163 --> 00:01:34,915
Zaara: Wow.
44
00:01:34,915 --> 00:01:36,375
I would've thought making
the D List would come
45
00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:38,502
with a crown or a championship belt.
46
00:01:38,502 --> 00:01:40,504
I'm sorry. The D List?
47
00:01:40,504 --> 00:01:41,630
What are you talking about?
48
00:01:41,630 --> 00:01:44,049
- You don't know?
- No.
49
00:01:44,049 --> 00:01:48,345
Junior, your junk is
the talk of the school.
50
00:01:48,345 --> 00:01:50,305
? Double H, yeah, you know it's us ?
51
00:01:50,305 --> 00:01:53,308
? Gino got steaks,
and I got the sauce ?
52
00:01:53,308 --> 00:01:54,476
Oh, God.
53
00:01:54,476 --> 00:01:56,019
? Ay, ay ?
54
00:01:56,019 --> 00:01:57,437
Between you and me,
55
00:01:57,437 --> 00:01:59,773
you should be really pumped
that these aren't shrimp.
56
00:01:59,773 --> 00:02:02,943
? Show me how you twerk it
up and down, right and left ?
57
00:02:02,943 --> 00:02:06,405
? All I want is 100 M's and a jet ?
58
00:02:06,405 --> 00:02:09,366
- ? Right and left ?
- [Exhales sharply]
59
00:02:09,366 --> 00:02:12,953
? Watch out, world, I'm grown now ?
60
00:02:12,953 --> 00:02:14,705
? I'm grown ?
61
00:02:14,705 --> 00:02:17,082
? Learn something new every day ?
62
00:02:17,082 --> 00:02:19,877
? I don't know, so I'mma feel my way ?
63
00:02:19,877 --> 00:02:22,379
? Got the weight of the world on me ?
64
00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:25,382
? But no regrets, this is what I say ?
65
00:02:25,382 --> 00:02:29,094
? Watch out, world, I'm grown now ?
66
00:02:29,094 --> 00:02:30,721
? I'm grown ?
? You can tell me ?
67
00:02:30,721 --> 00:02:36,101
? My heart beating so loud ?
68
00:02:36,101 --> 00:02:39,730
? Mama, look, I'm grown now ?
69
00:02:39,730 --> 00:02:41,690
? I'm grown ?
70
00:02:43,942 --> 00:02:45,569
[Slurps]
71
00:02:45,569 --> 00:02:47,613
[Smacking lips] Mm, not bad.
72
00:02:47,613 --> 00:02:50,407
A little acidic for my
taste, but I've endured worse.
73
00:02:50,407 --> 00:02:51,992
What is it, Guatemalan roast?
74
00:02:51,992 --> 00:02:54,369
Uh, closing shift's pot
thrown in the microwave,
75
00:02:54,369 --> 00:02:56,079
but I'm happy it's working for you.
76
00:02:56,079 --> 00:02:58,165
- Mm.
- Yo.
77
00:02:58,165 --> 00:02:59,917
Do you guys know if the kitchen here
78
00:02:59,917 --> 00:03:02,836
will take unsolicited eggplants?
79
00:03:02,836 --> 00:03:04,296
I don't want these to go to waste,
80
00:03:04,296 --> 00:03:06,632
and I already got rejected
from our local food banks.
81
00:03:06,632 --> 00:03:07,841
Dude, are you okay?
82
00:03:07,841 --> 00:03:10,552
No, no, I am not okay.
83
00:03:10,552 --> 00:03:12,304
I'm on the "Cal U D List."
84
00:03:12,304 --> 00:03:14,223
I almost made it through
the first semester,
85
00:03:14,223 --> 00:03:16,391
but now I'm gonna have to
transfer to a state school
86
00:03:16,391 --> 00:03:18,769
that they advertise on
"Blue Bloods" episodes.
87
00:03:18,769 --> 00:03:20,479
Do you think they let Black
people into Arizona now,
88
00:03:20,479 --> 00:03:22,356
- or is that a myth?
- Whoa, man, easy, alright?
89
00:03:22,356 --> 00:03:23,524
Yeah, I mean, I gotta give it to you.
90
00:03:23,524 --> 00:03:25,442
I didn't really take you for a F buddy.
91
00:03:25,442 --> 00:03:28,987
More of a cuddle buddy... buddy.
92
00:03:28,987 --> 00:03:30,697
Yeah, I don't think you
understand what this means.
93
00:03:30,697 --> 00:03:33,116
Okay? When it comes to the List...
94
00:03:33,116 --> 00:03:35,244
The List has been objectifying Cal U men
95
00:03:35,244 --> 00:03:37,371
since before we even got here.
96
00:03:37,371 --> 00:03:39,164
Grading us, evaluating us,
97
00:03:39,164 --> 00:03:40,624
and treating us like hunks of meat.
98
00:03:40,624 --> 00:03:42,501
Now, your chances of hooking
up with co-eds after that?
99
00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:45,003
Nearly impossible.
100
00:03:45,003 --> 00:03:48,048
- And for some, could be even worse.
- Mm-hmm.
101
00:03:48,048 --> 00:03:50,425
Take Chad Filipan. No stars.
102
00:03:50,425 --> 00:03:51,635
Just a two-word review
103
00:03:51,635 --> 00:03:53,387
that he'll never be able to live down.
104
00:03:53,387 --> 00:03:54,888
"Spoon Dong."
105
00:03:57,224 --> 00:03:59,226
Poor little Chad.
106
00:03:59,226 --> 00:04:01,144
- It hurts.
- It does.
107
00:04:01,144 --> 00:04:02,145
Anyways, what'd they give you?
108
00:04:02,145 --> 00:04:03,397
Three stars? Three and a half?
109
00:04:03,397 --> 00:04:04,439
Five stars.
110
00:04:04,439 --> 00:04:06,483
[Both laugh]
111
00:04:06,483 --> 00:04:09,319
Five stars. [Laughs]
112
00:04:09,319 --> 00:04:11,154
Wait, wait, wait.
113
00:04:11,154 --> 00:04:13,073
The highest we've ever heard
was four and three-quarters,
114
00:04:13,073 --> 00:04:14,741
and that kid was the heir
to the Bisquick empire.
115
00:04:14,741 --> 00:04:15,742
I remember that kid.
116
00:04:15,742 --> 00:04:17,369
It's not fair.
117
00:04:17,369 --> 00:04:20,747
God's not supposed to
give with both hands.
118
00:04:20,747 --> 00:04:22,583
But, yo, not that we're
comparing or anything,
119
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:25,043
but back in my day, four
stars meant something.
120
00:04:25,043 --> 00:04:26,837
Yeah. It's like
different eras of the NBA.
121
00:04:26,837 --> 00:04:29,089
Sure, guys today, they're
a little more athletic,
122
00:04:29,089 --> 00:04:30,632
but the older generation
had the fundamentals,
123
00:04:30,632 --> 00:04:33,927
so you can't really compare, you know?
124
00:04:33,927 --> 00:04:35,345
Anyway, it's not about
me, it's about you,
125
00:04:35,345 --> 00:04:36,805
and it's about your anatomy.
126
00:04:36,805 --> 00:04:37,848
And no one's calling
it a piece of flatware,
127
00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:39,016
so just chill, man.
128
00:04:39,016 --> 00:04:40,183
Go out there, enjoy your reputation.
129
00:04:40,183 --> 00:04:41,602
Wait, wait, wait.
130
00:04:41,602 --> 00:04:42,769
Who'd you even hook up
with to get on the list?
131
00:04:42,769 --> 00:04:45,856
Great question.
132
00:04:45,856 --> 00:04:48,609
Yeah, I don't kiss and tell.
133
00:04:48,609 --> 00:04:50,527
Hmm.
134
00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:52,279
I don't kiss and tell.
135
00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:53,530
Never have.
136
00:04:53,530 --> 00:04:55,824
I never told anyone about Katie Hansen.
137
00:04:55,824 --> 00:04:57,743
Or Keisha Emerson.
138
00:04:57,743 --> 00:04:59,036
Or Michelle Lewis,
139
00:04:59,036 --> 00:05:00,829
who used way too much
tongue, by the way.
140
00:05:00,829 --> 00:05:05,083
But of course my only
sneaky link puts me on blast.
141
00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:07,377
Yo, Kiela.
142
00:05:07,377 --> 00:05:09,588
Uh, first off, you look very nice today.
143
00:05:09,588 --> 00:05:12,049
Classy, but not trying too hard.
You're really pulling it off.
144
00:05:12,049 --> 00:05:15,302
Second, why did you put
my name on that list?
145
00:05:15,302 --> 00:05:17,679
Okay. Can you just
relax and enjoy the ride?
146
00:05:17,679 --> 00:05:20,932
No. No, I cannot relax,
because I'm being objectified.
147
00:05:20,932 --> 00:05:23,935
People are talking about my TT.
148
00:05:23,935 --> 00:05:26,605
I did not ask for any of this.
149
00:05:26,605 --> 00:05:29,066
Sorry, but, um, women
didn't ask to be objectified
150
00:05:29,066 --> 00:05:31,109
through all of human history, either.
151
00:05:31,109 --> 00:05:32,277
You know, when the list first started,
152
00:05:32,277 --> 00:05:34,237
it was a flyer posted around campus
153
00:05:34,237 --> 00:05:37,074
where men would rate
women on their performance?
154
00:05:37,074 --> 00:05:38,742
Man: "Jennifer Huff... Worth every penny
155
00:05:38,742 --> 00:05:40,077
she'll have you spend on her."
156
00:05:40,077 --> 00:05:42,079
Man #2: "Dominique
Nelson... a great time!"
157
00:05:42,079 --> 00:05:43,872
Man #3: "Carol Munson...
two paper bags needed."
158
00:05:43,872 --> 00:05:45,248
[Women scoff]
159
00:05:45,248 --> 00:05:46,958
But one day, a group of
women remixed the list
160
00:05:46,958 --> 00:05:49,127
and turned the objectification
spotlight on men.
161
00:05:49,127 --> 00:05:50,837
Woman: "Ron Maddox... ride of your life,
162
00:05:50,837 --> 00:05:52,798
but don't ask for full sentences."
163
00:05:52,798 --> 00:05:55,550
Woman #2: "M Young... if looks
could kill, he'd be dead."
164
00:05:55,550 --> 00:05:58,136
Man #3: "Austen Boyd-Stevens...
rich boys can't buy size."
165
00:05:58,136 --> 00:06:00,305
To me, this list is
about taking back power,
166
00:06:00,305 --> 00:06:02,641
and I'm proud to carry on the tradition.
167
00:06:02,641 --> 00:06:04,101
Women walk through this campus
168
00:06:04,101 --> 00:06:06,144
expecting to take part in
the college hookup culture
169
00:06:06,144 --> 00:06:08,522
but are being judged when they do.
170
00:06:08,522 --> 00:06:11,441
Now men know just, like, a
little bit of what that's like.
171
00:06:11,441 --> 00:06:14,403
So, um, welcome to
your ho phase, Junior,
172
00:06:14,403 --> 00:06:15,696
should you choose to accept it.
173
00:06:15,696 --> 00:06:19,658
??
174
00:06:19,658 --> 00:06:21,410
So, what was your TA saying?
175
00:06:21,410 --> 00:06:23,286
Okay. My TA basically told me...
176
00:06:23,286 --> 00:06:26,164
[Laughing] Breaking news!
177
00:06:26,164 --> 00:06:29,376
Our boy Junior just made
the top of the D List.
178
00:06:29,376 --> 00:06:31,670
- Oh, I'm well aware.
- What?
179
00:06:31,670 --> 00:06:34,297
He's spiraling as we speak.
180
00:06:34,297 --> 00:06:35,882
What's the D List?
181
00:06:35,882 --> 00:06:37,634
Is that what we're calling
the Dean's List now?
182
00:06:37,634 --> 00:06:39,886
Because I have a 4.0.
183
00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:43,014
Oh, oh, oh, shield
your ears, pretty girl,
184
00:06:43,014 --> 00:06:45,600
'cause, um, this conversation
is for adults only.
185
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,811
But, um, yeah, five stars.
186
00:06:47,811 --> 00:06:51,398
I didn't think he had it in him. Hey!
187
00:06:51,398 --> 00:06:53,525
You guys, this reminds me,
188
00:06:53,525 --> 00:06:57,028
I've been meaning to talk
to you about something.
189
00:06:57,028 --> 00:06:59,865
So, I think Junior might be right.
190
00:06:59,865 --> 00:07:02,826
Maybe... Maybe we are more than friends.
191
00:07:02,826 --> 00:07:07,080
Wow, what a crazy coincidence,
despite any recent news.
192
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,290
Serendipitous.
193
00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:09,875
No, guys, come on.
194
00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:12,419
I've been thinking about
this for a while now.
195
00:07:12,419 --> 00:07:14,963
Look, we're always talking
about how we want stand-up,
196
00:07:14,963 --> 00:07:18,258
- chivalrous men...
- This "Bridgerton" bitch...
197
00:07:18,258 --> 00:07:20,552
See, this is why I don't get sprung.
198
00:07:23,096 --> 00:07:24,139
Wow.
199
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:26,391
That was really good.
200
00:07:26,391 --> 00:07:29,186
Oh, yeah, I don't do
that. It's, uh, not for me.
201
00:07:29,186 --> 00:07:30,812
Do you, um, have class soon, or... ?
202
00:07:30,812 --> 00:07:32,731
- [Door opens]
- Um... oh!
203
00:07:32,731 --> 00:07:34,107
Oh, my Go... I'm so sorry.
204
00:07:34,107 --> 00:07:35,317
It's cool, it's cool.
205
00:07:35,317 --> 00:07:36,443
She was just, uh, about to leave.
206
00:07:36,443 --> 00:07:37,819
Okay.
207
00:07:37,819 --> 00:07:39,112
I have not regained
control of my legs yet.
208
00:07:39,112 --> 00:07:41,573
- Nice.
- Nice.
209
00:07:41,573 --> 00:07:42,991
- Junior... out.
- Yeah.
210
00:07:42,991 --> 00:07:45,952
It messes with your neurons.
211
00:07:45,952 --> 00:07:48,121
[Laughs] I'm not sprung.
212
00:07:48,121 --> 00:07:50,749
But, I mean, he did give
up The Crest for me, guys.
213
00:07:50,749 --> 00:07:51,791
Mm-hmm.
214
00:07:51,791 --> 00:07:55,045
Um, yeah, and you dying
to give it up for him.
215
00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:57,881
[Both laugh]
216
00:07:57,881 --> 00:08:00,425
I'm not dying to give up anything.
217
00:08:00,425 --> 00:08:02,135
I'm just thinking about things.
218
00:08:02,135 --> 00:08:04,179
Can't a girl think about things?
219
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,805
Damn.
220
00:08:05,805 --> 00:08:07,432
??
221
00:08:07,432 --> 00:08:08,683
You guys...
222
00:08:08,683 --> 00:08:10,644
That girl is dizzy for the D.
223
00:08:10,644 --> 00:08:12,312
Ha ha!
224
00:08:12,312 --> 00:08:13,772
Oh!
225
00:08:13,772 --> 00:08:17,442
D List!
226
00:08:17,442 --> 00:08:18,944
Oh.
227
00:08:20,779 --> 00:08:21,863
Mm.
228
00:08:21,863 --> 00:08:23,782
[Indistinct conversations]
229
00:08:23,782 --> 00:08:28,995
??
230
00:08:28,995 --> 00:08:31,957
I gotta say, it's kinda hard
to try and study economic theory
231
00:08:31,957 --> 00:08:33,917
when everyone in your class
232
00:08:33,917 --> 00:08:35,919
is looking at you like a piece of meat.
233
00:08:35,919 --> 00:08:38,672
- [Cellphone chimes]
- Man: Any questions so far?
234
00:08:38,673 --> 00:08:39,673
_
235
00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,053
Maybe this ain't so bad.
236
00:08:45,053 --> 00:08:46,430
[Cellphone chiming]
237
00:08:46,431 --> 00:08:47,431
_
238
00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:49,000
??
239
00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:50,951
_
240
00:08:51,152 --> 00:08:53,500
_
241
00:08:53,144 --> 00:08:54,500
??
242
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,701
_
243
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,600
_
244
00:09:02,195 --> 00:09:06,074
So, guys... Guys, guys, I
need everyone's attention.
245
00:09:06,074 --> 00:09:08,618
Uh, something weird is going on.
246
00:09:08,618 --> 00:09:11,913
Do you remember back in 2014
when Tesla first came out
247
00:09:11,913 --> 00:09:14,291
and everybody was going crazy
to get on the waiting lists?
248
00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:16,418
And if you did have a
Tesla, you were super cool
249
00:09:16,418 --> 00:09:18,211
because it had the falcon-wing doors,
250
00:09:18,211 --> 00:09:20,046
it could drive itself, you
could play "Tetris" in traffic...
251
00:09:20,046 --> 00:09:22,507
Junior, land the plane.
252
00:09:22,507 --> 00:09:24,092
- Yes, yes, yes. Land the plane.
- Okay. Thank you.
253
00:09:24,092 --> 00:09:26,261
So, the point is... Excuse me...
254
00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:32,726
I think I'm a 2014 Tesla.
255
00:09:32,726 --> 00:09:36,271
Putting me on this D List,
it got me all this attention.
256
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:38,440
Sexually.
257
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,108
Which is crazy, because normally,
258
00:09:40,108 --> 00:09:42,569
I'm a reliable family
wagon with third-row seating
259
00:09:42,569 --> 00:09:44,613
and a great J.D. Power safety rating.
260
00:09:44,613 --> 00:09:47,449
God, even I would sleep with
him to get him to shut up.
261
00:09:47,449 --> 00:09:50,577
Yeah, uh, that D List definitely
put a scarlet letter on you.
262
00:09:50,577 --> 00:09:52,662
- Yeah.
- That "A" is for ass.
263
00:09:52,662 --> 00:09:54,331
- Mm-hmm.
- You know?
264
00:09:54,331 --> 00:09:56,499
Yeah. I... I guess I've just...
265
00:09:56,499 --> 00:09:59,294
I've never been objectified
in this way before.
266
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:02,130
And I don't know if I totally hate it.
267
00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,049
Does that make me a bad person?
268
00:10:04,049 --> 00:10:07,010
I mean, I try not to
judge anyone, but, yes.
269
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:09,554
- What?
- 100%.
270
00:10:09,554 --> 00:10:11,348
Look, there is nothing wrong
271
00:10:11,348 --> 00:10:13,600
with catching a bunch of yams
from random girls on campus.
272
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,561
I just don't think anything can
compare to a loving relationship
273
00:10:16,561 --> 00:10:19,189
with someone who really knows you.
274
00:10:19,189 --> 00:10:22,984
Like a friend who you really
enjoy spending time with
275
00:10:22,984 --> 00:10:24,945
that might not be in this room.
276
00:10:24,945 --> 00:10:26,821
Don't listen to 7th Heaven.
277
00:10:26,821 --> 00:10:28,823
One person's objectification
278
00:10:28,823 --> 00:10:31,284
is another person's sexual liberation.
279
00:10:31,284 --> 00:10:34,704
Look at Megan Fox, Cardi
B, City Girls, Lil Nas X.
280
00:10:34,704 --> 00:10:37,332
Yeah, but is that really what you want?
281
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,167
Look, bro, don't worry
about any of that.
282
00:10:39,167 --> 00:10:41,503
Your junk is made of
2018 Bitcoins right now,
283
00:10:41,503 --> 00:10:43,755
and it's time to cash out.
284
00:10:43,755 --> 00:10:45,423
Hmm.
285
00:10:45,423 --> 00:10:49,052
Retain my dignity or have
my own personal Freaknik.
286
00:10:51,429 --> 00:10:52,806
You know what?
287
00:10:52,806 --> 00:10:55,308
The next set of yams
that comes on this device,
288
00:10:55,308 --> 00:10:56,977
Junior's having Thanksgiving dinner.
289
00:10:56,977 --> 00:10:58,812
Ooh! There it is.
290
00:10:58,812 --> 00:11:00,855
[Cellphone chimes]_
291
00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:02,983
Ooh. Okay.
292
00:11:02,983 --> 00:11:04,484
- Mm-hmm.
- Eat up, Junior.
293
00:11:04,484 --> 00:11:06,403
??
294
00:11:06,403 --> 00:11:07,737
You better finish your plate.
295
00:11:07,737 --> 00:11:09,030
? Yeah, runnin' and runnin' ?
296
00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:10,490
? Yeah, runnin', runnin' it up ?
297
00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:12,367
? I can't stop, won't stop ?
298
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:13,910
? I can't get enough ?
299
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:17,789
??
300
00:11:17,789 --> 00:11:20,083
I've got a problem.
301
00:11:20,083 --> 00:11:22,627
I think I might be sprung.
302
00:11:22,627 --> 00:11:25,130
You? With Yazmine?
303
00:11:25,130 --> 00:11:27,382
- [Scoffs] No.
- Yes.
304
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,300
You just started hooking up.
305
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:30,760
How do you know?
306
00:11:33,972 --> 00:11:39,853
??
307
00:11:39,853 --> 00:11:40,979
[Cellphone chimes]
308
00:11:40,979 --> 00:11:43,064
??
309
00:11:43,064 --> 00:11:45,567
Woman: Yazmine, Yazmine, Yazmine,
Yazmine, Yazmine, Yazmine.
310
00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:47,068
- Aah!
- [Cellphone thuds]
311
00:11:47,068 --> 00:11:48,445
Everything okay?
312
00:11:48,445 --> 00:11:53,867
??
313
00:11:55,243 --> 00:11:56,661
Do you serve alcohol?
314
00:11:59,831 --> 00:12:02,542
Yeah. That sounds extremely sprung.
315
00:12:02,542 --> 00:12:04,502
Shit. I can't be sprung.
316
00:12:04,502 --> 00:12:06,254
I have two finals next
week that are literally
317
00:12:06,254 --> 00:12:08,465
gonna make or break my GPA,
and I cannot concentrate.
318
00:12:08,465 --> 00:12:10,091
If it's any comfort,
319
00:12:10,091 --> 00:12:13,678
you're not the only one
battling sprung fever.
320
00:12:13,678 --> 00:12:15,055
Et tu, bitch?
321
00:12:15,055 --> 00:12:17,640
[Jackhammer rattling]
322
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,477
? Ooh, doin' it right ?
323
00:12:20,477 --> 00:12:24,022
??
324
00:12:24,022 --> 00:12:26,858
? I said I like the
way you move, honey ?
325
00:12:26,858 --> 00:12:30,779
Anything you need drilled, ma'am?
326
00:12:30,779 --> 00:12:32,072
I'm sorry, what?
327
00:12:32,072 --> 00:12:33,907
I said get out of the way!
328
00:12:36,951 --> 00:12:38,495
I almost fell down the sewer.
329
00:12:38,495 --> 00:12:40,789
There is something wrong with us.
330
00:12:40,789 --> 00:12:43,625
- Yeah.
- Okay, maybe we can be each other's support systems.
331
00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:45,710
- Mm-hmm.
- Next time you feel weakness,
332
00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:47,504
you reach out to me to keep you strong.
333
00:12:47,504 --> 00:12:50,298
Right. And instead of obsessing
over them, we support each other.
334
00:12:50,298 --> 00:12:51,549
No more texting them.
335
00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:53,343
No more stalking them on socials,
336
00:12:53,343 --> 00:12:56,471
no more thinking about them,
and definitely no more lingering
337
00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:59,808
- in their intoxicating huckleberry scent.
- Right.
338
00:12:59,808 --> 00:13:02,102
Stay with me.
339
00:13:02,102 --> 00:13:03,812
See? I feel better already.
340
00:13:03,812 --> 00:13:05,814
- Yes. Okay.
- Yeah.
341
00:13:05,814 --> 00:13:07,816
Since I have you, um,
342
00:13:07,816 --> 00:13:10,193
I'm wondering if you could
delete some pics for me.
343
00:13:10,193 --> 00:13:11,569
I'm just... I'm not strong enough.
344
00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:12,904
Give it.
345
00:13:12,904 --> 00:13:15,031
??
346
00:13:15,031 --> 00:13:16,407
Okay.
347
00:13:16,407 --> 00:13:18,326
??
348
00:13:18,326 --> 00:13:20,995
Don't judge, just delete.
349
00:13:20,995 --> 00:13:23,706
It's amazing what some twinkle lights,
350
00:13:23,706 --> 00:13:26,584
a couple of fuzzy pillows
from Zaara's side of the room,
351
00:13:26,584 --> 00:13:28,461
and a spritz of Drake's
cologne in the air
352
00:13:28,461 --> 00:13:31,673
can do to turn a dorm into
the ultimate love nest.
353
00:13:31,673 --> 00:13:33,675
? Send the "Where you at?" ?
354
00:13:33,675 --> 00:13:34,759
Wow.
355
00:13:34,759 --> 00:13:38,012
Cristy, um, come in.
356
00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:40,390
Uh, so, I do have some playlists.
357
00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:44,143
I've got some smooth jazz, classic R&B.
358
00:13:44,143 --> 00:13:45,562
I've even got some industrial stuff
359
00:13:45,562 --> 00:13:46,896
that sounds like a
metronome, if that's...
360
00:13:46,896 --> 00:13:50,900
? Do it, do it, do it right ?
361
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:52,485
? Up inside ?
362
00:13:52,485 --> 00:13:54,779
You can play whatever you
like, as long as you're ready
363
00:13:54,779 --> 00:13:57,240
to give me the "Five Star" experience...
364
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,366
Daddy.
365
00:13:58,366 --> 00:14:01,077
? Call me nasty tonight, ya, ya ?
366
00:14:01,077 --> 00:14:02,245
Uh, Daddy?
367
00:14:02,245 --> 00:14:03,830
Yeah, uh, you can call me Junior.
368
00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:06,249
Shh! Be quiet, "Five Star."
369
00:14:06,249 --> 00:14:08,793
Less talking. Let's get these pants off.
370
00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:11,087
Uh...
371
00:14:11,087 --> 00:14:15,216
Wow. So, this is the "object"
part of objectification.
372
00:14:15,216 --> 00:14:18,094
??
373
00:14:21,306 --> 00:14:23,516
? Show you how it's done ?
374
00:14:23,516 --> 00:14:25,018
? Gotta go and get it,
gotta get what you want ?
375
00:14:25,018 --> 00:14:27,312
? Come on, watch me, I'mma
show you how it's done ?
376
00:14:27,312 --> 00:14:30,440
? I'mma show you how
to go and get it done ?
377
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,276
- ? Watch me, I can show you how ?
- _
378
00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:35,445
- _
- ? Let me show you how ?
379
00:14:35,445 --> 00:14:37,280
? I can show you how ?
380
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,198
? Yeah, I can show you how ?
381
00:14:39,198 --> 00:14:41,075
? Let's go ?
382
00:14:41,075 --> 00:14:43,077
- Who are you texting?
- I'm fine!
383
00:14:43,077 --> 00:14:44,537
- Sorry, sorry.
- My bad.
384
00:14:44,537 --> 00:14:46,664
I just have a lot on my mind lately.
385
00:14:46,664 --> 00:14:49,584
Um, is your conquest still in
the bathroom or are we alone?
386
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,545
Her name is Cristy, and she left.
387
00:14:52,545 --> 00:14:55,006
Very satisfied, I might add.
388
00:14:55,006 --> 00:14:56,299
Ew.
389
00:14:56,299 --> 00:14:58,551
Thanks, but...
390
00:14:58,551 --> 00:15:00,595
I don't know if I am.
391
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,555
There's just a lot to think about.
392
00:15:02,555 --> 00:15:05,308
I thought I was cool with
the idea of meaningless sex,
393
00:15:05,308 --> 00:15:07,310
and I thought, as a progressive male,
394
00:15:07,310 --> 00:15:09,604
I understood the nature
of objectification.
395
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:13,733
But then she started calling
me "Five Star," and...
396
00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:16,903
I don't know. It just
felt kind of weird.
397
00:15:16,903 --> 00:15:18,071
Okay, look.
398
00:15:18,071 --> 00:15:20,073
Are these women consenting adults?
399
00:15:20,073 --> 00:15:22,325
- Of course.
- Then go with it.
400
00:15:22,325 --> 00:15:24,535
College is about getting
out of your comfort zone.
401
00:15:24,535 --> 00:15:26,371
Take a chance and try something new.
402
00:15:26,371 --> 00:15:28,039
Yeah.
403
00:15:28,039 --> 00:15:30,124
Maybe I'll give it a shot.
404
00:15:30,124 --> 00:15:31,417
But what about Yazmine?
405
00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:34,671
I... I haven't seen
her around here lately.
406
00:15:34,671 --> 00:15:36,089
Who?
407
00:15:36,089 --> 00:15:39,926
Oh, you know, the girl I've walked
in on you with multiple times.
408
00:15:39,926 --> 00:15:41,260
And I can't prove it,
409
00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:43,763
but I'm pretty sure you
guys did it in my bed.
410
00:15:43,763 --> 00:15:45,682
It smells like huckleberry over here.
411
00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:47,016
So what? I like huckleberry.
412
00:15:47,016 --> 00:15:48,601
It's a good scent.
413
00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:51,062
I'm just saying, I know you're
not a relationship person,
414
00:15:51,062 --> 00:15:54,774
but maybe you can try
something new, too.
415
00:15:54,774 --> 00:15:57,276
Maybe. I need some advice on this.
416
00:15:57,276 --> 00:15:59,654
I'm texting my sponsor.
417
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:02,156
Okay. Good talk.
418
00:16:02,156 --> 00:16:03,408
- Ugh.
- [Cellphone bloops]
419
00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:08,788
_
420
00:16:08,788 --> 00:16:11,207
Texting your friend about
how horny you both are
421
00:16:11,207 --> 00:16:13,418
isn't as helpful as you'd think.
422
00:16:13,418 --> 00:16:15,169
Is this about Junior?
423
00:16:15,169 --> 00:16:16,504
Do you want to talk about it?
424
00:16:16,504 --> 00:16:18,881
Please, let us talk about it!
425
00:16:18,881 --> 00:16:20,967
What is there to even talk about?
426
00:16:20,967 --> 00:16:23,720
The fact that Junior got five stars.
427
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,013
No.
428
00:16:25,013 --> 00:16:27,515
That's the last thing on my mind.
429
00:16:27,515 --> 00:16:30,685
But what if I am only clocking
him because he's on that list?
430
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,103
No. Come on.
431
00:16:32,103 --> 00:16:33,980
You already thought he
was boyfriend material.
432
00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:35,064
Yeah.
433
00:16:35,064 --> 00:16:37,025
So why are you even here?
434
00:16:37,025 --> 00:16:40,903
You should be over at his dorm
peeling that eggplant or...
435
00:16:40,903 --> 00:16:42,447
you know, saut�ing it or something.
436
00:16:42,447 --> 00:16:43,656
I don't know.
437
00:16:43,656 --> 00:16:45,783
I'm not with the eggplant.
438
00:16:45,783 --> 00:16:48,786
Or just talk to him about how you feel.
439
00:16:48,786 --> 00:16:50,121
Clothed.
440
00:16:50,121 --> 00:16:52,707
You both make good points.
441
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,584
But I've just taken a CBD gummy,
442
00:16:54,584 --> 00:16:58,546
so I'm gonna let my brain think
what it thinks and sleep on it.
443
00:16:58,546 --> 00:17:02,675
I think "it" is that dingaling.
444
00:17:02,675 --> 00:17:03,801
But sweet dreams, honey.
445
00:17:03,801 --> 00:17:04,969
[Laughs]
446
00:17:08,139 --> 00:17:10,391
Look, maybe I was
overthinking everything.
447
00:17:10,391 --> 00:17:11,851
But that is my nature.
448
00:17:11,851 --> 00:17:14,479
I tend to overthink.
449
00:17:14,479 --> 00:17:17,648
Still, I have one more
thing to figure out.
450
00:17:17,648 --> 00:17:19,067
Am I just a dildo?
451
00:17:20,902 --> 00:17:24,572
[Knock on door]
452
00:17:24,572 --> 00:17:27,366
Yeah, no, we don't need to have
this conversation right now.
453
00:17:27,366 --> 00:17:29,577
Kiela, you putting me on this list
454
00:17:29,577 --> 00:17:31,913
has made me question who I am.
455
00:17:31,913 --> 00:17:36,000
I am not just a
one-night-stand kinda guy.
456
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,253
I grew up in a house
of independent women
457
00:17:39,253 --> 00:17:41,255
who taught me to respect their struggle.
458
00:17:41,255 --> 00:17:42,799
I even lived with a woman for a year,
459
00:17:42,799 --> 00:17:43,925
and we shared utility bills together...
460
00:17:43,925 --> 00:17:45,301
Junior, what are you talking about?
461
00:17:45,301 --> 00:17:48,179
Okay. I just need to honestly know.
462
00:17:48,179 --> 00:17:51,182
Why'd you give me five stars?
463
00:17:51,182 --> 00:17:53,518
What?
464
00:17:53,518 --> 00:17:56,437
I mean, you could've
given me three, four.
465
00:17:56,437 --> 00:17:58,898
You could've savaged me
like that Spoon Dong guy.
466
00:17:58,898 --> 00:18:03,111
Um, why did I give you five stars?
467
00:18:03,111 --> 00:18:05,071
I... I guess I gave it to you
468
00:18:05,071 --> 00:18:07,657
because it was genuinely amazing?
469
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,034
It was?
470
00:18:10,034 --> 00:18:11,411
Yeah. Yeah, I know,
it's weird, you know?
471
00:18:11,411 --> 00:18:12,912
Even though it was just a hookup,
472
00:18:12,912 --> 00:18:16,040
I felt like we were both,
you know, connected during it.
473
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,836
Like we were both there... together.
474
00:18:19,836 --> 00:18:22,505
Yeah, we did make direct eye contact.
475
00:18:22,505 --> 00:18:23,840
Junior, you're not a dildo,
476
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,842
because you care about other people.
477
00:18:25,842 --> 00:18:28,553
But you also care about
what they think way too much.
478
00:18:28,553 --> 00:18:30,054
No, but, uh, do you really think that?
479
00:18:30,054 --> 00:18:32,807
Ugh. Get out.
480
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,475
Brandon: So...
481
00:18:34,475 --> 00:18:36,018
You're into eye contact.
482
00:18:36,018 --> 00:18:38,354
Oh, yeah. It is super sexy.
483
00:18:38,354 --> 00:18:39,981
- Is it?
- Mm-hmm, it is.
484
00:18:39,981 --> 00:18:41,149
You bet it is.
485
00:18:41,149 --> 00:18:44,527
Eyes are the nipples of the face.
486
00:18:44,527 --> 00:18:45,820
I took that too far, didn't I?
487
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:47,155
Yeah, just a little.
488
00:18:47,155 --> 00:18:48,990
But it's okay 'cause you're cute.
489
00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:50,450
? Only I got the love ?
490
00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:52,618
? Got the love, got the love ?
491
00:18:52,618 --> 00:18:57,248
??
492
00:18:57,248 --> 00:19:00,418
Thanks for the benefit, friend.
493
00:19:00,418 --> 00:19:01,794
Kinda surprised you called so soon.
494
00:19:01,794 --> 00:19:03,921
Mm. What can I say?
495
00:19:03,921 --> 00:19:06,757
You just happened to cross my mind.
496
00:19:06,757 --> 00:19:11,387
??
497
00:19:11,387 --> 00:19:14,849
I thought intimate wasn't your vibe.
498
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:19,645
Maybe you're my vibe.
499
00:19:19,645 --> 00:19:21,814
? Thick as peanut butter
on a bread slice, whoa ?
500
00:19:21,814 --> 00:19:24,025
? You'll look even better
on my bedside, whoa ?
501
00:19:24,025 --> 00:19:25,985
You know, when you're
young, it's easy to feel like
502
00:19:25,985 --> 00:19:28,321
you have no control
over how people see you.
503
00:19:28,321 --> 00:19:32,158
But college can be an
opportunity to reinvent yourself.
504
00:19:32,158 --> 00:19:35,745
So maybe I'll try something
a little different.
505
00:19:35,745 --> 00:19:37,538
Yo, Cristy.
506
00:19:37,538 --> 00:19:39,624
What's up, Five Star?
507
00:19:39,624 --> 00:19:41,792
You know what's up.
508
00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:44,921
Junior: This is the official
start of my ho phase.
509
00:19:44,921 --> 00:19:47,590
Um, so I was thinking, you, me, later.
510
00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:49,091
- I'm down.
- Okay.
511
00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:54,972
- Thank you.
- This is my song.
512
00:19:54,972 --> 00:19:56,516
- It's hard.
- Yeah.
513
00:19:56,516 --> 00:19:57,600
Here you go.
514
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:58,851
- Thank you, man.
- Thank you.
515
00:19:58,851 --> 00:20:00,937
Hey, big cheers to my
brother in the eyes.
516
00:20:00,937 --> 00:20:03,314
Wait. I think I know you.
517
00:20:03,314 --> 00:20:04,899
Oh, dude, I've been getting that a lot.
518
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:07,235
You see, Cal U's been putting
my picture all up over campus.
519
00:20:07,235 --> 00:20:09,237
Urinals, bus ads... it's annoying.
520
00:20:09,237 --> 00:20:10,780
No, I don't think that's it.
521
00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:11,989
But I think we were
there at the same time.
522
00:20:11,989 --> 00:20:14,575
Do you remember me?
523
00:20:14,575 --> 00:20:17,411
Chad. This is my microbrewery.
524
00:20:17,411 --> 00:20:19,789
- Chad.
- Chad.
525
00:20:19,789 --> 00:20:22,416
Man: Chad.
526
00:20:22,416 --> 00:20:24,001
Chad.
527
00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:26,546
Chad: [Distorted]
This is my microbrewery.
528
00:20:26,546 --> 00:20:28,422
Do you remember me?
529
00:20:28,422 --> 00:20:31,551
Doug: Take Chad Filipan. No stars.
530
00:20:31,551 --> 00:20:33,052
[Distorted] No stars.
531
00:20:33,052 --> 00:20:34,136
[Normal voice] He'll never
be able to live down...
532
00:20:34,136 --> 00:20:37,640
[Spoon rattles]
533
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:38,724
[Distorted] No stars.
534
00:20:38,724 --> 00:20:41,352
- Spoon Dong.
- Spoon Dong.
535
00:20:41,352 --> 00:20:42,895
Oh, shoot.
536
00:20:42,895 --> 00:20:45,856
- I ordered sausages.
- Yes.
537
00:20:45,856 --> 00:20:48,734
So, you guys still keep
up with the old gang or...
538
00:20:48,734 --> 00:20:49,777
Aaron: Spoon Dong.
539
00:20:49,827 --> 00:20:54,377
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