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[theme song]
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NARRATOR: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,"
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starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
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Matthews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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[crowd of girls screaming]
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Are The Red Coats in here?
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Are The Red Coats in here?
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The Red Coats have gone back to England.
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[screaming]
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Oh, boy.
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You still think The Red Coat craze
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is just a publicity stunt?
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I haven't heard screaming like this
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since I told my wife my mother was coming for a visit.
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Boy, it's insane, but I guess it has to be.
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Every generation has one idol.
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Yeah, when I was a teenager, we
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went for Frank Sinatra, but not guys with hair
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all over their head.
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You know, when you were a teenager,
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people had hair all over.
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You know, with the Red Coats on the show,
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we will rack up the highest rating of all time.
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SALLY: Right.
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Are The Red Coats in here?
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No, no.
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- Were they ever in here? - They were here.
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They're gone. They're gone.
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They were here yesterday.
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I'm breathing their air.
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I'm breathing their air.
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They're breathing down there.
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ROB: breathing down in the lobby.
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Oh.
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I can't understand what those girls see in the them.
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The red velvet coats, and the long curly hair.
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It's the craziest thing I've ever seen.
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You know, I was having a discussion about it
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coming in on the train this morning with Dr. Brown,
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the psychiatrist. - Yeah?
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What did he say?
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He said it was the craziest thing he ever saw.
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I'll tell you one thing about those Red Coats,
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they're really nice kids, and they got
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kind of a funny sense of humor.
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Yeah, but they got a lousy sense of timing.
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It's almost noon now.
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Where are they?
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BUDDY: They're probably counting their money someplace.
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Boy, if I had funny hair like that, and no talent,
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I could have made a million.
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Yeah?
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You do, you don't, and you didn't.
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So shut up.
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MEL: Let us in!
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Let us in!
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That is Mel, isn't it?
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SALLY: Yeah, unless one of the girls
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has a rotten set of vocal chords.
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Lunacy.
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Sheer lunacy.
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Those little monsters are crawling all over the building.
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Well it depends on your point of view really.
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I mean, to someone that doesn't earn 25% of these boys,
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those teenage noises are horrible.
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To me, they're dollar signs.
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He's our manager.
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He discovered us.
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He's regretted it already, haven't you?
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Have we made a million dollars yet, have we mister manager?
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Well, I don't know, Ernie.
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I haven't opened the mail this morning.
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I hope so.
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I want to go home to mommy.
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You've all met? SALLY: Yes.
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Yeah.
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You know, I never was sure which one was Ernie
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and which one was Fred.
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Oh, it's quite simple really.
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You see, Ernie's the one with the glasses.
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So if you see anyone wandering around looking at this,
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you know it's Ernie.
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I see, so you're Ernie, huh?
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Can't tell without my glasses.
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I know you kids are probably dead tired,
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but if you could just show us a little bit of what you do,
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we could write the introductions.
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Well, they'll do a song from their new album
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"The Redcoats Are Coming."
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I want to do the romantic one.
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ROB: Which one's that?
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"I Want to Hold Your Breath."
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I don't want to do a love song.
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I know, I want to eat me lunch.
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Is that a song?
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No, I want to eat me lunch.
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Come on, boys.
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Do "No Other Baby."
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1, 2, 3, 4.
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He usually comes in about 13.
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7, 8, 9, 10, 11.
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Here he comes.
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12, 13.
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See?
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[MUSIC - THE REDCOATS, "NO OTHER BABY"]
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BOTH: (SINGING) I don't want no other baby but you.
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Oh, yes, I do.
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BOTH: I don't want no other baby but you.
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Hear me crying.
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BOTH: Because no other baby thrills me like you do.
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There's more, but we're saving our strength.
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I know.
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You see, you see we promised not to get any sleep
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till we became rich and famous.
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Why, you are rich and famous.
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BOTH: Oh?
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Good night.
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That give us something to work on.
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Thank you very much. - All right.
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Thank you very much.
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Is the coast clear?
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All right, boys, the security officer
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will show to your dressing rooms.
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Oh, wonderful.
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They need all the rest they can get.
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Come on, mate.
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Thank you.
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Oh, you'll talk to Rob?
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Yes.
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Thank you.
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What are you supposed to talk to me about?
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Oh, well, it's private, Rob.
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Private? I know.
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He wants to steal their hair, and he wants
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you to drive the getaway car.
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Hey, Rob, we'll go up to the office,
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and we'll start to work. OK?
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- OK, good. - Yeah, see you later.
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Boy, I hope they don't mistake me for one of the Red Coats.
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They might start tearing my clothes off.
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Good.
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You could use a new suit.
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OK, what's the trouble, Mel?
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Well, it's not exactly trouble, Rob.
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But our guest stars are about to collapse from exhaustion.
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Oh, I know.
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That those kids look dead beat.
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Do you know that in the week they've been here,
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they've slept or tried to sleep in a different hotel
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every night.
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It's uncanny how those kids find
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out where they are every time.
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MEL: Yeah, it's supposed to be top secret,
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but somehow it always leaks out.
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Maybe you could help us, Rob.
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Well, gee, I'm sorry, Mel, but I don't have any idea
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off-hand where they could hide.
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Well, we have sort of a plan.
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Now see if you agree.
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OK, let's hear it.
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Well, just for the moment pretend you're a teenage girl.
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OK, it's a little tough for me, but all right,
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I'm a teen-aged girl.
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MEL: All right, now where would you
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expect The Red Coats to stay?
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Well, where they do stay, at all the best hotels.
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Mhm.
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Now where would you least expect them to stay?
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Well, I suppose as a teenage girl, the last thing I'd expect
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would have them at my house.
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Mel, game's over.
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I'm Rob Petrie.
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Good old Rob Petrie, and they're not staying at my house.
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No, they're not saying at my house.
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Rob. Rob!
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- No. - Rob.
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Rob! - Sorry.
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No, you mean you want them to come to my house?
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Just for one night.
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Yeah, but why me?
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Because you live in the suburbs
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where it's nice and quiet.
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That's right.
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In a house with a 20-year mortgage, and new upholstery.
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"The Alan Brady Show" will cover any damages.
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That's just fine, and let Alan take them.
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No, we can't.
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Those kids have got sentries at every entrance.
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Well, how about you?
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My house too.
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Buddy, Sally.
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Sally has a small apartment.
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Buddy has a big mouth.
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Believe me, Rob, we've taken care of every detail.
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Well, yeah, except just one little detail.
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I haven't said yes.
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Did you see the papers today?
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They ruined the lobby of the Bryant hotel.
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We have taken every precaution.
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Besides only Alan, you, me, their manager,
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an the police department know about it.
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Well, that's a cozy little group.
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GIRL 1: I think they're in there.
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GIRL 2: No, I looked through the hole.
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[girls screaming]
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The Red Coats in my house with every teenager in America
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looking for them, and they're under my roof.
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Exciting, isn't it?
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Yeah, especially when those girls find out where they are.
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Rob, I told you--
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I know.
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Everything top secret.
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Well, I don't know how you plan to get them to New
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Rochelle in the first place.
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Starting at exactly 6 o'clock and at 5 minute intervals,
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four limousines with drawn curtains will leave
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the basement garage and proceed with a police escort
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to four well-known hotels.
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- And we'll be in one of them? - No.
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But we'll be in one of them, they'll be in the other.
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No, none of you will be in any of them.
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Mel.
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The four limousines will draw most or all the girls
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away from this building so that when you drive away at 6:35--
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With The Red Coats in the trunk of my car?
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MEL: Rob, give me a chance.
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I'm sorry.
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Red Coats will be in the back of a laundry truck.
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I have to drive them up there in a laundry truck?
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I will drive the laundry truck.
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You?
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Well, what's the password, Mel?
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Paul Revere.
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You're kidding.
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Mel, who wrote all this out?
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Well, the police department.
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The code thing was mine.
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ROB: So you're going to drive them
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up there in a laundry truck?
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No, you leave the garage in your own car at 7:00 PM,
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and we'll rendezvous.
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Oh, rendezvous.
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I always wanted to rendezvous.
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Hey, do I get to synchronize my watch?
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You're being unnecessarily cruel.
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This is for your own good, you know?
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For my own--
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(GERMAN ACCENT) very good, commander.
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We'll have to have cyanide capsules in case
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they catch us though.
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Rob, Rob, Rob, this is nothing to joke about.
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Well, Mel, if we can't joke about this,
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we're in terrible trouble.
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Well, are you going to do it or aren't you?
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Well, you know, to tell you the truth,
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despite all the potential danger there is, I couldn't miss
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this for anything in the world.
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Oh, good, good.
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And I have to tell my grandchildren.
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No, don't tell anybody.
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I mean, if you--
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you have any grandchildren.
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Will-- will you do it?
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Well, conditionally, yeah.
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Oh, what-- what is it? What are the conditions?
266
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:45,758
Well, the one that I get to call her and tell her.
267
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,159
It's her house too, you know?
268
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,262
Oh, no, you can't tell Laura that they're coming.
269
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,430
Don't you think her curiosity will be aroused when they
270
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,166
sit down to dinner with us?
271
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:57,403
Carol, Rob's only getting eight tickets, see?
272
00:08:57,503 --> 00:09:00,039
And I've had two dozen calls today alone.
273
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:01,774
Some people.
274
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,876
Yeah, but Carol see, it isn't my fault
275
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,379
that you have three children.
276
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,914
Carol?
277
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:09,982
Carol?
278
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:11,350
Oh, boy.
279
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:14,387
The Red Coats are coming, and my friends are all leaving.
280
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,122
Oh, aren't people terrible?
281
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,790
Instead of being grateful for one ticket,
282
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,759
she's mad at because she can't have three.
283
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,460
Well, frankly, I'm a little surprised
284
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,728
you offered her any at all.
285
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:23,696
Well, she's a friend.
286
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,298
Yeah, I know.
287
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,899
But you offered her one ticket, and you offered me one ticket,
288
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:30,436
and I'm certainly more than a one ticket friend.
289
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:31,404
Millie.
290
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,072
Well, am I or am I not?
291
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:36,776
Oh, Millie, of course you are, but it isn't a matter of who--
292
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:37,677
JANIE: Mrs. Petrie?
293
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:38,945
Mrs. Petrie.
294
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:39,779
Oh, boy.
295
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:40,713
Hi, Mrs. Petrie.
296
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:41,914
Hi, Janie, dear.
297
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:43,416
I just finished talking to your mother.
298
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:44,417
I know.
299
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,451
Can we get an extra ticket?
300
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:46,352
No, Janie.
301
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:47,587
I'm afraid not.
302
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,021
Oh, Mrs. Petrie, please. I love them.
303
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:50,556
I have every one of the record albums.
304
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:51,824
I know, you--
305
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,459
It's not my fault my mom has three kids.
306
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,228
Oh, OK, Janie, I'll try.
307
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,129
I'll try.
308
00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:58,164
Thank you, Mrs. Petrie.
309
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,165
And bless you.
310
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,132
Bless you.
311
00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:01,167
Bless you.
312
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,035
What do you mean you're going to try?
313
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:06,072
Millie, no, I didn't mean that I was going to--
314
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,441
Oh, Millie, I wish this week were over.
315
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,709
[phone rings]
316
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,744
I think I'm about to lose another friend.
317
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,312
Hello? ROB (ON PHONE): Hi, honey.
318
00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:14,447
How's it going there?
319
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,515
Why didn't they stay in England?
320
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,750
Honey, I've got something to ask you.
321
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,552
Are you alone? - No, Millie's here.
322
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,687
Can you get rid of her?
323
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,356
Well, I don't think so.
324
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,258
Call me back extension 194 as soon as she leaves.
325
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,760
Well, that could be quite a while, dear.
326
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,061
We're baking strudel.
327
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,196
Oh.
328
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,932
Well, honey, I want to tell you something now
329
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:34,834
that's going to knock your head off,
330
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:37,103
but you've got to make believe I haven't said anything.
331
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:38,137
Oh, my gosh, Rob.
332
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:39,305
What is it? - What?
333
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:40,339
What?
334
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:43,609
Rob got a flat tire.
335
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:44,577
Very good.
336
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:45,945
Just calm and passive now.
337
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:47,680
No more oh, my goshes, OK?
338
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:48,848
OK, dear.
339
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:51,117
It's apple strudel.
340
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,551
OK, here it is.
341
00:10:52,651 --> 00:10:58,224
Do you mind if The Red Coats sleep at our house tonight?
342
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,558
Ha!
343
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,794
That's a funny story, darling.
344
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,331
I'm not kidding honey.
345
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:06,899
We've got to know right away.
346
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:10,403
Well, I certainly would like to hear a few of the details.
347
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:11,337
Later.
348
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:12,605
Honey, yes or no.
349
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:14,840
Well, whatever you think is best.
350
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,776
OK, we'll be there at 7:30, and snap it
351
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:17,977
up with the strudel.
352
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:19,545
Millie can't be there when I get home.
353
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:20,513
Don't worry, dear.
354
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,014
It won't be. - OK.
355
00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:22,748
Goodbye.
356
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:23,983
Goodbye.
357
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:27,553
What did Rob say?
358
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:28,821
Go home, Millie.
359
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,792
Rob said that?
360
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,126
No, no, no, no.
361
00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,828
We need some powdered sugar for the strudel.
362
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:37,430
That's what Rob said?
363
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,432
Well, you know what a nut he is on his powdered sugar balls.
364
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,633
The strudel. - Yeah, OK.
365
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:41,567
I'll hurry.
366
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:42,501
No, take your time.
367
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:43,836
Take your time.
368
00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:45,037
MILLIE: The Red Coats are making you crazy.
369
00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:47,807
Oh, no I know how Bunker Hill felt.
370
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:50,910
[music playing]
371
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,412
Rob, you're not bringing them in the front door.
372
00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:54,413
No, I'm not.
373
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:55,448
Well, where are they?
374
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,416
I don't know.
375
00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,485
Oh, Rob, that's just awful.
376
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,020
You turned me into a nervous wreck,
377
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,988
and then changed the plans without telling me.
378
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,623
The plans have not been changed.
379
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,358
Either Mel or I made a mistake.
380
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,326
I waited at the rendezvous.
381
00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:09,695
He never rendezvous-ed.
382
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,464
Mrs. Cooley?
383
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,398
This is Rob Petrie.
384
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:13,499
Is Mel there?
385
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:15,067
Has he called?
386
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:18,504
Well, when he does call, will you tell him that I'm home?
387
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:19,972
Thank you.
388
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,707
Well, are you sure you went to the right place?
389
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,075
Yeah, with a synchronized watch.
390
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:24,477
Everything.
391
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,912
Rob, do you suppose they used you as a decoy?
392
00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:28,080
That's possible.
393
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,583
I'll kill them, but that's possible.
394
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,318
How do you like that?
395
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,753
ROB: You sound disappointed I didn't bring them with me.
396
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,822
Yeah, well, in a way I am.
397
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,124
Well, when I told you about on the phone
398
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:39,925
you didn't sound too thrilled.
399
00:12:40,025 --> 00:12:41,460
No, I wasn't, but then the more
400
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,529
I got to thinking about it, the more thrilled I became.
401
00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:45,831
I mean, you know, they haven't even been to the White House.
402
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,066
ROB: Yeah.
403
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:51,303
I followed those plans right to the letter.
404
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:52,505
I can't understand it.
405
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,006
Mel was behind me all the way, and all of a sudden
406
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:54,940
he just disappeared.
407
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,376
[knocking at back door]
408
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,611
Do you hear something?
409
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:02,248
Yeah, it's coming from the kitchen.
410
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:03,582
Who is it?
411
00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:05,084
MEL: Paul Revere.
412
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:05,818
Who?
413
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:07,086
It's Mel.
414
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,257
MEL: Hello, Rob.
415
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,591
Hello, Laura.
416
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:13,859
Hi.
417
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:14,894
Mel, what happened?
418
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:15,795
Where were you?
419
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:16,795
Well--
420
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,264
Mel, what are you wearing?
421
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,466
Well, if you're supposed to be a laundryman,
422
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,601
you dress like one.
423
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:23,836
Mel, where are the boys?
424
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:24,970
In the garage.
425
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:25,905
Well, what happened?
426
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,139
Why didn't you meet me?
427
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:28,340
- You were being followed. - Followed?
428
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,275
Who was following me?
429
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,243
A gray sedan with four teenagers.
430
00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:32,178
Are you sure?
431
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:33,312
Yes.
432
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:34,880
We left them at the Pelham Parkway,
433
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,183
and I came directly here on schedule.
434
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,450
What time is it?
435
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,385
8:30.
436
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,488
Roger Wilco.
437
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:43,522
All right, boys come in.
438
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:47,493
Hi, fellows.
439
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:48,894
Honey, this is Fred and Ernie.
440
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,029
LAURA: Hi.
441
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,464
Which one is Fred and who's Ernie?
442
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:53,999
Have a guess.
443
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:56,202
Let's see, you're Fred, and you're Ernie.
444
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,136
Try again.
445
00:13:57,236 --> 00:13:58,537
Oh, you're Ernie and you're Fred.
446
00:13:58,637 --> 00:13:59,505
No.
447
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,440
Oh, don't listen to him.
448
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:02,575
You right the first time.
449
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,709
Oh, I'm sorry, love.
450
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:05,044
I'm just having a bit of a giggle.
451
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,415
Well, I'm going to move out now.
452
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,349
They're yours.
453
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:11,417
Remember, not a word.
454
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,218
OK, Mel.
455
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:13,085
I'll call you if I need you.
456
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,453
Remember, Mr. Cooley.
457
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:15,487
Remember what?
458
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,689
No starch in the shirts.
459
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:17,890
Huh?
460
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:24,530
Was he bald before we got here?
461
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:25,664
Yes, that's not your fault.
462
00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:26,865
Well, come on into the living room.
463
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,635
Make yourselves comfortable.
464
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:30,769
Oh, isn't this lovely?
465
00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:31,670
Hey.
466
00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:33,305
Thank you.
467
00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:34,440
That's nice.
468
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,841
Do you know what we call one of these in England?
469
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,276
- No, what? - A chair.
470
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,184
It's a smashing house you've got.
471
00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:48,220
Please, don't say "smashing."
472
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,688
It's very nice of you to have us.
473
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:51,357
Honey, why don't you get the boys something to eat.
474
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,124
Oh, I'm sorry.
475
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,192
Would you like something?
476
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:54,293
Well, what we'd really rather do
477
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,928
is get to bed, if you don't mind.
478
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:56,896
Speak for yourself.
479
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,130
I'd like something to eat.
480
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,331
Can we have it in bed?
481
00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:00,032
Oh, sure.
482
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:01,066
I'll bring a tray.
483
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,969
I hope assuming to eat on it.
484
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,170
There will be.
485
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:06,205
Come on, you room is right up here.
486
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:08,207
I hope you'll be comfortable.
487
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:09,742
Anything you boys want, just ask for it.
488
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,010
Oh, thank you.
489
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,044
And I just hope for our sake and yours,
490
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,245
no one finds out we're here.
491
00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:14,580
Oh, don't worry about it.
492
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,148
You're safe here is on the rock of Gibraltar.
493
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,483
Really?
494
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,118
Should we tell him what happened when we played Gibraltar?
495
00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:20,386
Oh, no. Don't tell him.
496
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,287
You might worry him.
497
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,388
Don't tell me.
498
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:30,429
You worried?
499
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:31,664
I'm worried.
500
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,698
Me too.
501
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,268
Jerry, look, you're a dentist.
502
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:37,803
You know that there are only so many teeth you can
503
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:39,338
take out of any given mouth.
504
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,806
Well, that's the same with these tickets.
505
00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:42,007
[doorbell rings]
506
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:42,941
Jerry, I got to go.
507
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:43,942
Somebody's at the door.
508
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,545
LAURA: I'll get it, darling.
509
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:49,014
Jerry, I don't want your blue alpaca sweater,
510
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,850
and I'm insulted you offered it to me.
511
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:53,352
All right, you're forgiven.
512
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,587
Yeah, goodbye.
513
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:56,789
Hello, Mrs. Petrie.
514
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:57,690
Hello, Estelle.
515
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,024
Hi, Mr. Petrie.
516
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,559
We want you to know this is the biggest
517
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:01,960
moment of our lives.
518
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,162
Yeah, this is the closest we've ever been to them.
519
00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:04,096
What do you mean?
520
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:04,997
Well, The Red Coats.
521
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:06,432
You worked with them.
522
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,667
You were close to them, and now we're close to you.
523
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:10,069
Oh, yeah.
524
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,004
Well, listen, when tomorrow I'm close to them,
525
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,206
I'll tell them that I was close to you.
526
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,741
We're officially begging.
527
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:18,277
Yeah, we'll babysit for you for free till we get married
528
00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:19,078
or die.
529
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:20,412
You don't understand.
530
00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:21,213
Goodnight, girls.
531
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,181
You just don't understand.
532
00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:25,517
You too, Phoebe.
533
00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:26,452
[sighs]
534
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:27,753
[whistles]
535
00:16:27,853 --> 00:16:28,954
What a night.
536
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:31,457
And that's been going on all week long.
537
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:32,991
You realize what would have happened
538
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,560
if they knew those boys were in that bedroom.
539
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,730
Oh, that's too frightening to think about.
540
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,831
And you can't blame them.
541
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:39,798
They're just kids.
542
00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:41,367
Yeah.
543
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,302
I remember when I was a kid, I stepped on my cousin to get
544
00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:45,771
a better look at Marlon Brando.
545
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:49,375
Turned out to be Paul Newman.
546
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:51,577
Well, by gosh it's 11 o'clock, and all is well.
547
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,745
I think we made it, honey.
548
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:53,746
Congratulations.
549
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,013
[phone rings]
550
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:55,914
Hold that pucker.
551
00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:57,316
I'll be right back.
552
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:01,854
Hello?
553
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,622
Oh, hi, Mel.
554
00:17:03,722 --> 00:17:04,990
No, everything is fine.
555
00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:06,425
Sleeping.
556
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:07,893
That's right, I'll meet you right here at 8 o'clock
557
00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:09,361
in the morning.
558
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:10,362
Roger.
559
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:16,602
Well, honey, the chief called to thank you again.
560
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:17,636
Honey?
561
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:22,574
Rob, I want to tell you something,
562
00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:24,543
and you're probably going to say it's
563
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:29,148
childish and immature and female, but Rob,
564
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,450
I'm just dying to tell somebody they're here.
565
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,284
Uh-huh.
566
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,552
That's childish and immature.
567
00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:34,286
Yeah, yeah.
568
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:35,254
But it's not female.
569
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:36,989
I feel exactly the same way.
570
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,023
If I could just tell Jerry.
571
00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:39,291
Anybody.
572
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,926
Oh, Rob, I'd just like to tell everybody.
573
00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:42,027
That's female.
574
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:44,830
Well, it's like having a--
575
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:47,733
like having a Dior original and then not being able to wear it.
576
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:48,734
No, it isn't.
577
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:49,968
It's like being Clark Kent.
578
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,870
Huh?
579
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,706
You know you're Superman, and you can't tell anybody.
580
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,708
Oh, yeah, it's so frustrating.
581
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,277
I never realized how he must have felt.
582
00:17:58,377 --> 00:17:59,812
Can you imagine how many times in that phone booth
583
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:04,316
he wanted to grab the phone and say, hi, I'm Superman?
584
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,585
Well, of course we'll be able to tell
585
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:07,786
people after they leave.
586
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,389
Yeah, but that's not half as good as doing it now.
587
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:12,291
Oh, you know, we ought to get some snapshots.
588
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:13,725
No. LAURA: Why.
589
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:14,660
Movies.
590
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,594
Movies are better.
591
00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,329
We'll take movies in the morning.
592
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,198
Gee, I don't know how I'm going to handle Millie though.
593
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:21,100
She's just going to hate me for not telling her.
594
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,367
Well, you can blame me, honey.
595
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:23,535
Tell her I threatened you or something.
596
00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:27,005
No, she knows that doesn't stop me.
597
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:30,742
Now, Rob, on important matters it doesn't.
598
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:33,445
Look, darling, what's wrong with my calling
599
00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:35,647
Millie tomorrow morning and telling her to come over here?
600
00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:36,548
I wouldn't tell her why.
601
00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:38,083
Honey, our house. Our lives.
602
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:39,618
I'll just have her-- she could come,
603
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:41,687
and then we'd hold her here until after they left, see?
604
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:42,621
Now wait a minute.
605
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:43,489
Wait a minute.
606
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:44,823
It's 1 o'clock. - No, it isn't.
607
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:45,724
It's 11:00.
608
00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:46,725
I know.
609
00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:48,193
But just say it's 1 o'clock.
610
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,496
We've been standing here arguing for two solid hours now,
611
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:51,396
and I say--
612
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:52,364
I've finally given in.
613
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,499
Oh, good, darling.
614
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,100
That's the kind of argument I like.
615
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,335
What are you going to do?
616
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:57,603
I'm going to call Millie and tell her
617
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:58,737
to hold tomorrow morning open. - Hold on.
618
00:18:58,837 --> 00:18:59,671
Why?
619
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:00,506
You can't call her now.
620
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:01,773
It's 1 o'clock in the morning.
621
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,145
All right, fellas.
622
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:07,146
Action.
623
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:08,680
That's it.
624
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:09,781
Smile, smile.
625
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:10,682
Good, OK.
626
00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:12,017
Come along now.
627
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,253
Just a wave.
628
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:16,889
OK, now walk up towards your room.
629
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:17,789
Face the camera.
630
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,058
Face the camera.
631
00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:21,226
OK.
632
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,427
We need to get them around something
633
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,363
identifiable in the room.
634
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,364
Honey, you're identifiable.
635
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:28,700
Get up there with them.
636
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:29,601
OK, that's it.
637
00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:31,203
Good and close.
638
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:32,137
That's the way.
639
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:33,772
Hi, honey.
640
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:35,174
Great.
641
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,775
Darling, I'll take one of you with the boys now.
642
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:37,910
OK.
643
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,178
Mel will be here about 10 minutes.
644
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:39,778
Just push a little trigger there, honey.
645
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:41,313
OK.
646
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,482
All right, go.
647
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:44,550
Get this.
648
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,553
I'm going to give them some advice now.
649
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,154
Oh, that's good.
650
00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:52,224
That's good, darling.
651
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:53,125
Come on, Ernie.
652
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:54,426
I'll take the shots now.
653
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,127
Come on.
654
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:56,595
I'll direct.
655
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,063
Mrs. Petrie, you go stand up there with Mr. Petrie.
656
00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:00,766
Oh, all right.
657
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:01,667
Action.
658
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:02,668
Come on, wave a bit.
659
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,870
That's it.
660
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,138
OK, now this way.
661
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:07,839
That's it.
662
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:08,774
Hey, honey?
663
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:09,608
Yeah.
664
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:10,976
I just thought of something.
665
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:14,646
Why are they taking pictures of us?
666
00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:16,515
The pressure gets to me sometimes.
667
00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:17,516
Oh, cut.
668
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:18,250
Cut.
669
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:20,452
That's OK.
670
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:21,987
Darling, can I call Millie now?
671
00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:23,455
Yeah, go ahead, honey.
672
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,758
You guys better get up and get your things together.
673
00:20:26,858 --> 00:20:28,327
Now honey remember, tell her to come over,
674
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:29,761
but don't tell her why.
675
00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:32,564
Stop worrying.
676
00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:34,566
Millie, what are you doing?
677
00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:38,236
Well, dry yourself off, and get over here right away.
678
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,438
No, no, nothing's wrong.
679
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:40,872
I can't tell you what it is, Millie,
680
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,874
but I'm calling you because you're my best friend.
681
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,843
And if you don't get over here right now,
682
00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:45,877
I can't be responsible.
683
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:46,945
Goodbye.
684
00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:48,647
- She coming? - I think so.
685
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:49,348
[knock at door]
686
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,582
Boy, she's fast.
687
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:54,786
Who is it?
688
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:55,754
MEL: Paul Revere.
689
00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:57,556
Rob, Mel's here.
690
00:20:57,656 --> 00:21:00,359
Oh, then that must be Millie.
691
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:03,395
I'm--
692
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,697
We came to make a final appeal.
693
00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:07,399
I'm sorry, girls, there are no more tickets.
694
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:09,001
We just gotta see them or we'll die.
695
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,670
[girls screaming]
696
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:19,277
What's going on?
697
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:22,514
[girls continue to scream]
698
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,216
Lock the door, Millie.
699
00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:26,184
Rob, what did Laura want?
700
00:21:26,284 --> 00:21:27,152
It's all right, darling.
701
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:28,553
They're gone.
702
00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:30,522
Would somebody please tell me what's going on here?
703
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:32,557
The Red Coats slept here.
704
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:34,293
And you didn't tell me?
705
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,194
I did, Millie, but you were too late.
706
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:37,129
What late?
707
00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:40,999
I'm not even dry yet.
708
00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:42,401
Oh, here they come.
709
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:43,969
Rob, what'll we do?
710
00:21:44,069 --> 00:21:45,470
We'll be trampled.
711
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:47,005
I'll tell them that they were here, but they're gone.
712
00:21:47,105 --> 00:21:49,841
It is rather dangerous.
713
00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:50,776
Now you listen.
714
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:52,411
They were here, but they're gone.
715
00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:54,813
They just slept here last night.
716
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:58,483
[girls scream excitedly]
717
00:22:01,286 --> 00:22:03,155
Hey, cut that out.
718
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:04,756
Hey, cut that out.
719
00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:06,758
Put that down!
720
00:22:06,858 --> 00:22:08,527
Put that down!
721
00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:11,830
[girls scream excitedly]
722
00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:25,777
[phoebe sobs]
723
00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:31,750
[phoebe rejoices]
724
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:39,491
[MUSIC - THE RED COATS, "MY HOW THE TIME GOES BY"]
725
00:22:39,591 --> 00:22:43,562
(SINGING) Each time I leave you, it's like a lifetime,
726
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:46,898
but there's no reason why.
727
00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:53,972
But when I'm here to hold you, my how the time goes by.
728
00:22:54,072 --> 00:22:57,576
I don't remember what time the clock said.
729
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:01,079
Don't even bother trying.
730
00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:04,516
You say it's past your bedtime.
731
00:23:04,616 --> 00:23:07,753
My how the time goes by.
732
00:23:07,853 --> 00:23:11,623
I know I'm gonna hate it leaving you.
733
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,793
My how the hours fly.
734
00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:18,230
I really don't know what I'm going to do.
735
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:19,998
Oh, my.
736
00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:22,200
Oh, my.
737
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:23,802
Kiss me again, girl.
738
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:29,040
Kiss me and then girl, kiss me a last goodbye.
739
00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:32,477
Wish I could stay forever.
740
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:36,214
My how the time goes, my how the time goes,
741
00:23:36,314 --> 00:23:38,517
my how the time goes by.
742
00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:44,689
[girls in audience scream]
743
00:23:47,025 --> 00:23:47,659
Thank you.
744
00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:48,860
Thank you very much.
745
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,061
You're a lovely audience. Thank you.
746
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:51,663
Thank you.
747
00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:53,899
We'd like to do a song now for two very good friends of ours
748
00:23:53,999 --> 00:23:55,534
who risked life and limb by letting
749
00:23:55,634 --> 00:23:57,035
us stay in their lovely home.
750
00:23:57,135 --> 00:23:59,304
This song is one that was recorded by Chad and Jeremy,
751
00:23:59,404 --> 00:24:00,539
friend of ours back in England.
752
00:24:00,639 --> 00:24:02,541
They're very close to us you might say.
753
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:06,244
So for Rob and Laura Petrie of New Rochelle, New York,
754
00:24:06,344 --> 00:24:08,880
here is "No Other Baby But You."
755
00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:11,516
Rob, they shouldn't have said where we live.
756
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:13,919
And we just got our furniture back.
757
00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:16,154
Now they'll be coming from all 50 states.
758
00:24:16,254 --> 00:24:17,189
Rob, what'll we do?
759
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,490
Well, don't panic.
760
00:24:18,590 --> 00:24:19,891
Maybe the first thing to do is just
761
00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:23,328
put the furniture on the lawn, and have an auction.
762
00:24:23,428 --> 00:24:25,497
[applause]
763
00:24:31,036 --> 00:24:34,539
[theme song]
51397
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